#jean kirstein fanfic
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Hajime Isayama
AOT Masterlist-Main Masterlist
Warnings: Angst, Weapons, Season 4 spoilers
Requested by: Anonymous
Hi! Could you do a one-shot of Jean/Girlfriend. His lover drank the wine and turned into a Titan after Zeke screamed. Then could you show everyone’s reaction and what they decide to do. :D
A/N: Sorry this took a little bit, but I’m really happy with how this turned out! Also had to catch up on the last two episodes that came out (including the one today omg it was so good). I did take some liberties with the second part of your request, as I focused more on Jean’s reaction. I hope you enjoy and thank you so much for your request!
Word Count: 1.2K
You weren’t one to enjoy alcohol. Usually, you would avoid having even a single glass of wine because you didn’t want to risk the possibility of you being drunk. The thought of being out of your own control in a world that was already so messed up plagued your mind enough to the point that when you and your buddies were passing around a bottle, you’d pass on the opportunity. Plus, the taste of it wasn’t fantastic enough to warrant you actively seeking a sip of the purpley-red liquid.
However, that one night where you wanted to just forget about the fact that your comrades, your family, and your closest friends were six feet under - and you were only nineteen yourself - you found yourself with a flush on your cheeks and a giggle in your throat. It felt so good at the moment, like you were flying in the sky. It was that same adrenaline and completely pleasant feeling that you remembered experiencing when you first mastered using ODM gear; playing hide and seek in the training forests with Connie, Jean, and Sasha. It made you feel like a fifteen year old again. You felt like your old self. Now, it just made you miserable.
The little armband that was affixed to your overcoat did nothing to weigh you down, but you felt like it was constricting your arm. It was hard to process what Commander Pyxis had told you - that the wine you had sipped from was contaminated with Zeke Yeager’s spinal fluid. That the one time, the one instance in which you had let yourself have a drink, it would be the biggest mistake of your life.
At the moment, you were stuck in a cell, swinging your feet on a little stool and trying not to think too hard about what was almost certainly to come within the next few days, maybe in the next few moments. The second that Zeke would yell, it would be over for you. You would transform into the very monster that you had been slaying for the last several years. But, could you really still call them monsters? They were people with lives who had been at the beck and call of Marley. They could have been someone’s Connie, someone’s Sasha. Someone’s Jean… oh god Jean. What would he say when he finds out? Would it be too late, would you have already transformed before you got the chance to say goodbye? And if that did happen, would he even be able to tell if you were a titan? You’d seen it happen before with Armin. A strange, mutated version of the human they once were is projected onto the titan’s face. You almost began to tear up at that possibility - that a gangly titan version of you had your Y/H/C hair, your Y/E/C eyes. A ‘you’ that was so deformed, but still held the characteristics that would prompt someone to say, ‘that’s Y/N’s titan.’
You felt sick. You leant to reach for a bucket, but the locked door that imprisoned you and several others swung open.
“Let’s go, come on. We need you all.” You didn’t bother to look up at the speaker. You were a soldier, and you knew how to follow orders, so you immediately fell into line. A gun was shoved into your hand and there was a pat to your back as you were ushered out of the building and into the usually busy cobblestone streets. A gasp fell from your lips as you looked around you. All over, Marlyeans and Eldians were battling, and in the center of it all, Eren’s titan. That short boy with the raven colored hair that you used to share jokes with and poke fun at, held a stance and stature that felt so wrong. But you didn’t have time to linger or hold onto that thought. Instead, the Beast titan made you freeze in your movements. You couldn’t move, you couldn’t breathe. And yes, while that was part of the titan’s power, this was purely your own body’s actions. An overwhelming fear struck through every one of your nerves that you didn’t notice a Marleyean take aim at you. However, someone else did. In a flurry of movements, Jean killed the man instantly and turned towards you, running as fast as he could. All you could do was watch him. Immediately, Jean gathered you into his arms, clutching and grasping at your arms, your clothes, your hair - like you were water slipping from his hands and he was doing everything he could to keep you there with him.
“Y/N, where the hell have you been, Armin and I have been trying to get everyone of our group back together and you have been the one person to be missing.” He says into your hair, breathing you in and tucking your face into his chest. Again, you find yourself not being able to do anything, so he pulls back to look at you from an arm’s length. “Y/N?”
Your gaze flickers down to your armband and then back to him, which he mimics. You find it truly impressive how many emotions his face shuffles through in one second. Confusion, denial, anger, sadness. He was just missing one to have gone through the whole cycle of grief. Instead, he shook his head.
“No, no. Tell me you didn’t, this has to be a mistake. You hate wine, you hate alcohol in general. It’s probably because you were just with them that they made you wear it.”
“Jean…” you finally croak out, giving him a sad smile and locking your eyes with his. “You… you should go. You need to get away from me. Please.” Pushing him away and backpedaling slowly, you don’t let him out of your sight. He takes a step forward, but your hand goes up. “I don’t want you to be here when this happens, and I don’t think you do either.” His head turns towards the floor, and you know you’ve won. “Hey Jean? Close your eyes for me?” You say, your voice quivering just a bit. He complies. “I love you.” You say, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. And with that, you’re gone, down the road and around the corner. And Zeke let’s forth one hell of a scream.
He lets his feet carry him until he’s into a spring, finally moving to use his ODM gear. Jean finds himself on a rooftop with Armin, Mikasa, and Connie. The light explodes all over the crumbling city, and Jean clamps his hands over his ears. He doesn’t want this, he never wanted this. He wanted a life with you in a little cottage. He wanted to be reading a newspaper while your baby was asleep on his chest, their little hand gripping onto the cloth of his shirt. He won’t get that. He will never get that.
“Is that?” Connie exclaims, shock and sadness taking hold of his tone.
“O-oh my god.” Armin says, his hand moving to cover his dropped jaw.
“No…” Mikasa whispered, her eyes wide. Finally, Jean looks to what they had set their eyes on. A tall, strong looking titan. Y/H/C hair was whipping fiercely in the wind. Y/E/C eyes were buried deep in its face. And quickly, just like that kiss you had given him, a soldier had sliced its nape and it collapsed on the broken, cobble street. Jean let forth a breath. Acceptance.
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