Here you will find all things Armin Arlert Every oneshot, request, and multi-chapter fic I write about our favorite blonde mastermind will be right here for you to see!
Hi everyone! I just wanted to let you know, in case you didn’t see, that my requests/ask box is open! You can request anything from the fandoms that I write for (haikyuu!, My Hero Academia, Attack On Titan, and Criminal minds) but here are a few ground rules:
1. I do not write anything nsfw
2. I might choose not to write if I am uncomfortable with the subject matter you request, for example, hangovers or the intake of alcohol since I am underage and don’t want to assume anything about that experience! I will definitely message you, letting you know if I can’t fulfill your request <3
3. I try my best to make my ‘x reader’ fics gender neutral, but sometimes they might stray towards a more feminine side since I am a girl. If you want the fic to be a specific gender (male, female, non-binary, gender neutral, etc.) just let me know!
4. Please specify which character(s) you want me to write for!
5. And last, but not least, specify whether you want a headcanon, scenario, or one-shot!
There is no limit to how many requests you can send in, so ask away! Also, if you just want to talk or gush about characters, new episodes of anime, or life in general, feel free to chat! I’ll always be someone you can talk to if you want me to be!
Hello everyone! I just thought I would reblog this to let everyone know that my requests are OPEN and that here are my request guidelines! Feel free to ask for as many situations, fics, one-shots, etc. as you would like! Also, if you want a place to chat or talk, I’m totally cool with that as well! Talk to me about the upcoming seasons for both MHA and AOT - I am so hyped for both - and if you want to talk about anything you’re watching now! For me, I’m rewatching Fruits Basket (it’s one of my favs!) and keeping up with SpyxFamily - it’s so good! I hope you all are safe happy and healthy!
Hi! Could you do a one-shot of Jean/Girlfriend. His lover drank the wine and turned into a Titan after Zeke screamed. Then could you show everyone’s reaction and what they decide to do. :D
A/N: Sorry this took a little bit, but I’m really happy with how this turned out! Also had to catch up on the last two episodes that came out (including the one today omg it was so good). I did take some liberties with the second part of your request, as I focused more on Jean’s reaction. I hope you enjoy and thank you so much for your request!
Word Count: 1.2K
You weren’t one to enjoy alcohol. Usually, you would avoid having even a single glass of wine because you didn’t want to risk the possibility of you being drunk. The thought of being out of your own control in a world that was already so messed up plagued your mind enough to the point that when you and your buddies were passing around a bottle, you’d pass on the opportunity. Plus, the taste of it wasn’t fantastic enough to warrant you actively seeking a sip of the purpley-red liquid.
However, that one night where you wanted to just forget about the fact that your comrades, your family, and your closest friends were six feet under - and you were only nineteen yourself - you found yourself with a flush on your cheeks and a giggle in your throat. It felt so good at the moment, like you were flying in the sky. It was that same adrenaline and completely pleasant feeling that you remembered experiencing when you first mastered using ODM gear; playing hide and seek in the training forests with Connie, Jean, and Sasha. It made you feel like a fifteen year old again. You felt like your old self. Now, it just made you miserable.
The little armband that was affixed to your overcoat did nothing to weigh you down, but you felt like it was constricting your arm. It was hard to process what Commander Pyxis had told you - that the wine you had sipped from was contaminated with Zeke Yeager’s spinal fluid. That the one time, the one instance in which you had let yourself have a drink, it would be the biggest mistake of your life.
At the moment, you were stuck in a cell, swinging your feet on a little stool and trying not to think too hard about what was almost certainly to come within the next few days, maybe in the next few moments. The second that Zeke would yell, it would be over for you. You would transform into the very monster that you had been slaying for the last several years. But, could you really still call them monsters? They were people with lives who had been at the beck and call of Marley. They could have been someone’s Connie, someone’s Sasha. Someone’s Jean… oh god Jean. What would he say when he finds out? Would it be too late, would you have already transformed before you got the chance to say goodbye? And if that did happen, would he even be able to tell if you were a titan? You’d seen it happen before with Armin. A strange, mutated version of the human they once were is projected onto the titan’s face. You almost began to tear up at that possibility - that a gangly titan version of you had your Y/H/C hair, your Y/E/C eyes. A ‘you’ that was so deformed, but still held the characteristics that would prompt someone to say, ‘that’s Y/N’s titan.’
You felt sick. You leant to reach for a bucket, but the locked door that imprisoned you and several others swung open.
“Let’s go, come on. We need you all.” You didn’t bother to look up at the speaker. You were a soldier, and you knew how to follow orders, so you immediately fell into line. A gun was shoved into your hand and there was a pat to your back as you were ushered out of the building and into the usually busy cobblestone streets. A gasp fell from your lips as you looked around you. All over, Marlyeans and Eldians were battling, and in the center of it all, Eren’s titan. That short boy with the raven colored hair that you used to share jokes with and poke fun at, held a stance and stature that felt so wrong. But you didn’t have time to linger or hold onto that thought. Instead, the Beast titan made you freeze in your movements. You couldn’t move, you couldn’t breathe. And yes, while that was part of the titan’s power, this was purely your own body’s actions. An overwhelming fear struck through every one of your nerves that you didn’t notice a Marleyean take aim at you. However, someone else did. In a flurry of movements, Jean killed the man instantly and turned towards you, running as fast as he could. All you could do was watch him. Immediately, Jean gathered you into his arms, clutching and grasping at your arms, your clothes, your hair - like you were water slipping from his hands and he was doing everything he could to keep you there with him.
“Y/N, where the hell have you been, Armin and I have been trying to get everyone of our group back together and you have been the one person to be missing.” He says into your hair, breathing you in and tucking your face into his chest. Again, you find yourself not being able to do anything, so he pulls back to look at you from an arm’s length. “Y/N?”
Your gaze flickers down to your armband and then back to him, which he mimics. You find it truly impressive how many emotions his face shuffles through in one second. Confusion, denial, anger, sadness. He was just missing one to have gone through the whole cycle of grief. Instead, he shook his head.
“No, no. Tell me you didn’t, this has to be a mistake. You hate wine, you hate alcohol in general. It’s probably because you were just with them that they made you wear it.”
“Jean…” you finally croak out, giving him a sad smile and locking your eyes with his. “You… you should go. You need to get away from me. Please.” Pushing him away and backpedaling slowly, you don’t let him out of your sight. He takes a step forward, but your hand goes up. “I don’t want you to be here when this happens, and I don’t think you do either.” His head turns towards the floor, and you know you’ve won. “Hey Jean? Close your eyes for me?” You say, your voice quivering just a bit. He complies. “I love you.” You say, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. And with that, you’re gone, down the road and around the corner. And Zeke let’s forth one hell of a scream.
He lets his feet carry him until he’s into a spring, finally moving to use his ODM gear. Jean finds himself on a rooftop with Armin, Mikasa, and Connie. The light explodes all over the crumbling city, and Jean clamps his hands over his ears. He doesn’t want this, he never wanted this. He wanted a life with you in a little cottage. He wanted to be reading a newspaper while your baby was asleep on his chest, their little hand gripping onto the cloth of his shirt. He won’t get that. He will never get that.
“Is that?” Connie exclaims, shock and sadness taking hold of his tone.
“O-oh my god.” Armin says, his hand moving to cover his dropped jaw.
“No…” Mikasa whispered, her eyes wide. Finally, Jean looks to what they had set their eyes on. A tall, strong looking titan. Y/H/C hair was whipping fiercely in the wind. Y/E/C eyes were buried deep in its face. And quickly, just like that kiss you had given him, a soldier had sliced its nape and it collapsed on the broken, cobble street. Jean let forth a breath. Acceptance.
Request from anon: Hey there! I recently found your blog and i love the content <3. May I request a fluffy scenario or hc, (in canon AU) where levi overhears the reader talking to hange about how much she loves him please?
Genre: fluff
Warnings: none
A/n: I loved this request! Thank you for sending it in & I hope you enjoy
—————
Levi moved silently down the hall, not wanting to disturb anyone as a result of his own inability to sleep. If he couldn’t get some rest, he figured a cup of tea would suffice. His restless legs carried him into the kitchen where he set to work preparing his beverage. He’d just set his kettle down to boil when he heard a familiar voice carrying in from the mess hall just on the other side of the door.
Levi felt his chest tighten. A anxious pit had opened up in his stomach, an almost foreign emotion to the famously level-headed captain, as his mind took off running with scenario after scenario of what you could possibly be concerned about.
“I sound stupid, right? You can tell me to shut up, honestly,” you pulled out the chair across from Hange, who was seated at the a table in the empty mess. “I just didn’t know who else I could talk to about this.”
“Have you considered talking to him about it?” The brunette cocked an eyebrow as she leaned forward, crossing her arms atop the wood of the table. “I mean, you’re gonna tell him, right?”
“How? I wouldn’t even know how to start that conversation,” the trepidation in your voice didn’t go unheard by either pair of ears that they fell on. “What if he doesn’t take it well?”
Who was the ‘he’ that Hange was referring to? Was it him? What could you possibly not want to talk to him about?
The pit grew deeper, bubbling up ideas that he didn’t want to give any attention to, but they were practically screaming at him. Each insecurity that he had locked up so tight was now climbing out of it’s hiding place and he swore he could feel the claws of every last one of them swiping at his insides.
His world was shaking, threatened by a foe that wasn’t even confirmed to have exist. The sheer thought of anything coming between you and him was enough to turn him into this mess of himself that he refused to recognize.
He took a deep breath, steeling his nerves to quell the thumping pulse in his ears, so that he could press one to the door and listen. His eyes closed in a soundless prayer, hoping that whatever he heard through the barrier wouldn’t knock the air from his lungs. Finally grounding himself, his focus returned just in time to realize that he had missed whatever the spectacled woman had just said.
“Just tell him that I love him?” You shook your head, unaware that you had indirectly just confessed your affections to the man in question. “I wouldn’t even know how to go about it.”
You sighed, leaning back in your chair as you folded your arms over your chest. Meanwhile, just in the other room, Levi’s heart had risen from the sunken pit in his stomach to take root in it’s rightful place as a warm, welcome feeling spread throughout his chest. His breath was trapped in his throat, caught there upon hearing your admission as he didn’t want to let a gasp slip out, lest he alert you to his presence.
“I mean, he’s just so..perfect,” your thoughtful expression was trained on the table as you let your thoughts flow freely. “He’s obviously out of my league, physically. Both in skill and appearance. He seems so intimidating, but really he’s just so soft beneath all those layers of sarcasm and indifference that he puts up for everyone. I know he may not seem like it, but he really does have a way with words. He always seems to know just what to say somehow. Ugh, and he’s so attentive. I honestly feel bad sometimes, because he’s still so mysterious even to me sometimes and then he’s already mastered this way of knowing exactly what I need before I even realize it. I love him so much that it’s actually starting to scare me, you know? I just don’t want to scare him off because of it.”
Hange smiled softly as she placed both of her palms flat on the table. Her lips parted to convey her response, but both of you were suddenly put on alert by a high-pitched whistling that was coming from the kitchen. You furrowed your brow as you stood, making your way to the door while Hange came up behind you.
“Hello? Someone in here?” You called out as your fingertips pressed against the door.
Levi jumped back when he heard your boots click just on the other side of the wood that still separated you, muttering curses as he hurriedly tended to the now boiling kettle of water.
“Levi?” Your eyes shot open as they fell upon his frame and a sudden realization of just how surprisingly thin the castle’s walls were hit you. “What’re you doing here?”
“Killing titans, what’s it look like?” His lips shifted into a soft smirk as he stared back at you.
From her place behind you, still in the mess hall, Hange’s eyebrows raised, an excited grin replacing her previous expression of concern.
“Well, would you look at that? If shorty’s up, it must be past my bedtime,” she spun on her heel, waving one hand up to signify her departure. “Good night, you two.”
You glanced over your shoulder to watch her leave through the far entrance of the mess hall that you had arrived through together and then turned your attention back to Levi, who unbeknownst to you was just as nervous as you were.
“Did you, uh,” you stepped completely into the kitchen, keeping a short distance between you as your eyes fell to the floor. “Did you hear any of our conversation?”
“Why? Is there something that you were afraid I’d hear?” He finished pouring the water into his tea cup and set it aside as he leaned back against the countertop. “Were you and four eyes gossiping about me?”
“No!” You put your hands up in front of you, shaking your head as you looked back at him. His expression was softer than you thought it would be, but it didn’t do much to silence the nerves of yours that were called to attention. “I mean, no I would neve—“
“Never talk about me behind my back?” His eyes glinted with a playful edge as he stepped toward you, his arms reaching out to catch you around your waist, pulling you close to him. “Because from what I did hear, I would consider that to be a blatant lie, brat.”
You wanted to disappear, to slip away and out of his arms, so that you could run and hide from the impending embarrassment that was about to rain down on you. Shrinking away as best you could within his grasp, your eyes found anywhere else to look but upon his face as he watched in bemusement for just a moment, not wanting to torture you any further. His voice was soft as a feather when he spoke again, your chin captured between his thumb and forefinger as he directed your eyes to his own.
“I love you too, you know.”
It felt like your heart had stopped, too overloaded with the feeling of joy that his words brought you, until it began thumping again so loudly that you were afraid you might scare him away from you. Your hands moved to the space between his neck and shoulders as you searched his kind, grey eyes, looking for confirmation that this was real and not some cruel dream that you were having.
That confirmation came by the way that he smiled when he cupped your face so delicately in his hand, his thumb brushing over your cheek as he studied your features with a look that you thought only existed in the books you read. One so full of love and adoration that it shone through someone. Telltale signs of their pleasant affliction present on their lips and rooted deep behind their gentle eyes. You tried in vain to pause time, wishing that you could just stay here forever with him as his lips met yours.
You had shared too many kisses to keep count of, but this one was different. This one felt permanent. It felt like a quiet promise that was shared only between lovers. A kiss that some people wait a lifetime for and that some people are never able to find. And here you were, sharing in this sweet, silent promise with Levi. Sharing a kiss that felt like forever.
“I love you, Y/n,” his left arm wrapped around you, holding you close to him as his right still held your face, his eyes unable to leave your own.
“I love you too, Levi,” you watched his lips turn up in the most genuine smile that you had ever seen them form as you returned his expression, leaning into him to capture his lips, tasting another glimpse of forever.
A/N: Oh my goodness, it’s the last chapter hsiglsdfj this fic felt so short but also so incredibly long I don’t know how to explain it. Anyways, I don’t have much to say other than THANK YOU for sticking around for this story, I love you guys so much!! I hope you enjoy this last chapter :))) (also I was preparing this post to post it on friday but I’m just gonna do it rn, fuck it)
Chapter 7
“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised.”
The words were spoken in monotone, flat and dry, easily reflecting the true feelings of their speaker. They weren’t filled with anger, hurt, or disdain. But rather sounded like someone making a simple observation. Like they were commenting on the weather, or something else unimportant. However, this didn’t stop Eren from standing abruptly out of his seat in a fit of surprise, Y/N following closely behind.
“Zeke. I—” Eren stated at the sight of his brother, his whole body catching on fire from the shame of being caught. A familiar feeling from their childhood. He always resented the times when his older brother would always get him in trouble with their parents. Only this time it felt far worse.
His brother held up a stern hand, effectively silencing his younger brother.
“I had a feeling something was going on between the two of you.” Zeke stated, matter-of-factly. Y/N refrained herself from scoffing. She could hardly believe that he would hold the same air of pretentiousness even when he caught his fiancé kissing his own brother. But she didn’t say anything, Y/N stayed quiet as he continued.
“I first suspected it that very first night.” Zeke said, as if he were unraveling the clues to a mystery rather than exposing an illicit affair, “It was obvious how you felt about one another… Eren you only ever act as such a fool whenever you’re around a woman you deem attractive.”
“It’s not solely based on attractiveness—“ Eren stammered, but his brother interrupted him once more.
“I’m not looking for interjections.” Zeke snapped. “I simply want to know how long it has been since you’ve shared your affections.”
“How long it’s—?” Eren started again, but he couldn’t finish his sentence, as he had been interrupted yet again. But not by his brother, this time Y/N spoke up, her voice surprising the other two occupants in the room as if they’d forgotten she was there.
“Don’t you care?” Y/N asked, her voice sharp with unexpected anger. Both Zeke and Eren stared at her dumbfoundedly.
“Care?” Zeke responded, with a pretentious laugh, “Care about what?”
“You have just stumbled upon your fiancé in the arms of your own brother.” Y/N answered, stepping out from behind the pianoforte, “and yet, here you are, acting as if it doesn’t affect you.”
“Tell me, Miss Y/L/N, why should I care?” Zeke said, and she opened her mouth to respond but he kept going with his speech, “I have no concern with what you do in your free time. I only ask you to be a proper wife.”
Y/N let out a groan of frustration, bordering on a scream as she stepped closer to her supposed husband-to-be, “Is that truly your only reaction to this?”
“What do you expect from me?” Zeke asked, his own voice raising, caught up in Y/N’s anger. Eren’s mouth hung open as he watched the two of them, his eyes darting back and forth between the two figures. He felt like an outsider. It felt lonely. And it made him scared of the end result of this confrontation.
“I expect you to get angry!” Y/N practically yelled, “I expect you to act like a living, breathing human being and to burn this house down, to feel betrayed, to cry! Anything!”
Zeke stood there, saying nothing as the girl went on. She moved closer towards Zeke. Eren wouldn’t be surprised if she grabbed him by his lapels, shaking him until he found his senses. But she only fumed in her own anger, glaring at the blonde man.
“But yet you do nothing!” Y/N spat, “It’s as if you don’t feel anything!”
“I didn’t expect much happiness out of a life that forced me into an arranged marriage. Especially one that was so loveless. But I at leastexpected you to care.” She said, her voice cracking by the end of her sentence. She now stood in the middle of the room, her shoulders filled with tension, her nostrils flaring, her breathing heavy. Zeke simply just looked at her.
“Are you finished?” He asked, and this time Y/N did scoff, crossing her arms to try and shield herself from his cold demeanor. Zeke seemed to pay no mind to her own discomfort, and continued on with another one of his infamous lectures.
“I am certain we are all well enough aware that this marriage was more of an economic proposition than anything else.” Zeke said as he removed his glasses, calmly wiping them on the edge of his shirt and then placing them gently back on his face. “So, no. I do not care if you share affections with my younger brother. All I ask of you is to keep that part of your life private. Keep it out of the public eye, and I don’t see why we should have to put an end to our union. As long as you give me what I want I see no point in denying you the same right.”
Eren held his breath, waiting to hear what Y/N had to say. He already knew his own answer as relief flooded through his form. He couldn’t believe that this was the outcome of his brother finding out. Was he really going to let them continue on with their relationship? Eren could feel how the hope that burned into ashes just moments before was now flying free, rising like a phoenix. He would be able to keep his promise. Y/N would never have to bear the pain of losing him, and neither would he. But as he turned to look at the girl, the beating heart in his chest fell flat once more as he registered the tears that were swimming in her eyes.
“How despicable.” She whispered, her eyes trained on the ground in front of her. “You want me for status… For my father’s dowry… But that’s all it is, isn’t it?”
“Do you wish for me to want you for more than that?” Zeke questioned, raising a brow. Eren kept his eyes locked on Y/N. Waiting for her answer. Praying she says no. Because if she doesn’t, if she reveals this whole time that she had been longing for Zeke’s affections, Eren didn’t think he would live to see another day. His hands started to shake as Y/N hesitated.
“I wish for a marriage that isn’t as soulless as the one you are offering me.” She whispered, her eyes flickering over to Eren. It happened so fast that he didn’t fully believe that it actually happened. Maybe it didn’t. Maybe he was only searching for what he wanted to see.
“Well, then I apologize.” Zeke stated. “I can’t offer you anything different… And as it turns out, you don’t have much room to ask for such.”
Y/N stared at him. Zeke stared back. And Eren watched as his own happiness slipped from his grasp. Just like he predicted.
“Fine.” Y/N said. And before another word was said, before anyone realized what was happening, the girl was gone. Disappeared behind the swinging door of Zeke’s drawing room. Zeke barely had time to register what was happening, and soon he was blinking in surprise at the sight of his brother’s back, also disappearing out the door, following after her.
~
It was raining again. It was almost funny how the weather always seemed to know exactly when Y/N was lost within her troubles. She thought back to the last time she was caught in the rain. Her heart was thundering just as loudly as the world around her when she confronted Eren. And then he kissed her. And she was happy. It felt as though that night was decades ago. Like it was a moment that was now lost with time, that she would never be able to return to.
Somehow that thought had urged her to step out into the rain. Hoping that the familiar rainfall would wash away her troubles, and bring her back to a moment where she felt on top of the world. So she did.
The rain instantly soaked her skin. Seeping through her dress and drenching her hair. The one thing she found out about Marley was that when it rained, it poured. And that seemed to be the extent of all events that happened in this distant city. And now here she was, letting the rain fall over her head, hoping that it would wash her away. She shut her eyes against the gray sunlight, it’s usual shine muted by the rain clouds, forcing herself to feel nothing. Maybe the cold would cause her to grow numb, and maybe that numbness will stretch over to her feelings as well.
“Y/N.”
She didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. There was only one person besides her parents that called her by her first name. Y/N didn’t say anything. But that didn’t deter Eren from talking to her. Soon she felt his presence by her side, his warmth instantly battling the cold of the rain.
The two of them stayed quiet as they stood in front of the side entrance to Zeke’s estate. The rain falling over their heads as their eyes trained on the world around them. Eren was so close she could practically feel each breath roll through his body. She stole a quick glance at the man, she saw how his jaw was clenched, his eyebrows furrowed. He was angry. And she had some idea as to why.
“Why did you say that to Zeke?” Eren finally said, the silence breaking like a wine glass being dropped on a marble floor, his voice riddled with the anger she observed within his irises.
“Say what, exactly?” Y/N questioned, hoping to prolong the time she had to come up with an answer. She wasn’t sure why she said what she did. All she knew was that her heart ached with the thought of her life being taken away in favor of a horrible marriage.
“You confessed your disappointment in Zeke’s proposition.” Eren told her, his eyes snapping towards her. They burned in a glare that Y/N never expected to fall under. She felt herself crumble underneath his stare.
“Is it wrong of me to want more than that?” She breathed, looking down at her hands, not brave enough to look him in the eye.
“Hewasoffering you more than that!” He snapped, practically shouting, “He offered us a chance to be together.”
“Is that really what you think I want?” Y/N replied, her answer suddenly finding her in the middle of a storm. Shifting her gaze back to Eren, to brave the glare that she was still under.
“What have we been doing then?” Eren yelled, throwing out his hands in exasperation. “If you don’t want to take this chance— If you don’t want to be with me, then why are you putting me through this? Were you only toying with my heart? Were you playing me as a fool?”
“Of course not, Eren.” She yelled back, moving in front of him to face him head on. Now it was his turn to shy away from her gaze but she didn’t let that stop her, Y/N kept on talking, hoping that her words could get through to him, “Why on earth would I get involved in this if I didn’t want to be with you?”
“Then what is the problem?” Eren shouted, finally looking down at the girl in front of him. But the soft-hearted look that she was accustomed to was still nowhere to be seen. His nostrils flared as he continued, “Why wouldn’t you take his—”
“—Because I want you to want all of me!” She all but screamed over the pounding of the rain as well as the beating of her heart. Eren blinked at her in surprise. Y/N’s breathing was heavy, her chest heaving up and down as she held his stare. When she had the courage to speak again, her voice came out steady as she willed herself to stay calm after her outburst.
“I don’t want you to have me under some half-hearted agreement.” She said, her words shaking with the anger and disappointment she was trying to suppress. “It wasn’t a matter of wanting more from him. Everything that I could possibly want would fall only to your hands. I want more from you.”
Eren sucked in a shuddering breath. His eyes searched Y/N’s face, and he found the truth he had been hoping for from that fleeting glance she gave him during their discussion with Zeke. Unfortunately the hope that the proposition gave him did not return. Eren thought of their families. Their responsibilities. It was all crashing down around him. He shook his head gravely, as he finally spoke up.
“I… I can’t give you more.” He murmured.”I don’t see any other way we can be together.”
Y/N’s shoulders dropped from his confession. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting him to say. But she didn’t think it would hurt this damn much from an answer that she knew was coming. She nodded, sadly, her tears from before finally falling down her face to mix with the rain that was already soaking her skin.
“Then it might be best if you give me nothing at all.” She said, before turning back towards the house, ready to pull herself away from Eren for good.
“Wait, Y/N—” His warm hand wrapped around her wrist, stopping her where she was. She didn’t turn to look at him. She wouldn’t be able to handle seeing his face.
“Don’t.” Y/N begged, her back turned to him. “I don’t want to live a life where my happiness is kept a secret. My heart can’t handle that.”
Eren let her wrist fall from her grasp. She walked through the door. And they both knew that would be the last they saw of each other until the day of the wedding.
~
The journey back to Grisha Jaeger’s estate was long and tiring. Or at least it felt that way as Y/N sat in uncomfortable silence with her husband-to-be. Her sight was stuck on the outside world that was passing them by in a blur of greens and browns. Zeke was busy, concentrating on the paperwork that his father had left him to do. The only sounds accompanying them were the creaks from the carriage wheels and the hooves of the horses that whisked them away from their future home. It was a deafening silence. A silence that would most likely follow them throughout their years together. A silence that reminded Y/N of her duties and the life she was stuck with.
When they had finally arrived at the house, Y/N couldn’t have jumped out of that carriage fast enough. She was already halfway through the front door when she heard the scolding she earned from her fiance. But she didn’t stop to listen to the rest. Just simply escaped up to her quarters where she resided for the rest of the day.
The last day of her freedom. And it was spent in the four walls where she spent most of her time dreading her future. What was even worse, she hadn’t seen Eren for the past two days. Not that she was expecting to. But the moment she left him in the rain she instantly regretted her choice. That choice had left her with an ache in her heart that would most likely never subside. And after tomorrow morning, when she was finally betrothed to Zeke, Y/N knew that feeling would stay lodged in her heart until the day she died.
The rest of the evening passed her by as she lay curled up on the bed. The sun slowly traveled from east to west until darkness took control of the room. Her thoughts were plaguing her until the quiet that surrounded her finally lulled her into a sleep where her dreams were filled with nothing, finally giving her a peace of mind.
The next morning, she was woken from her slumber by a hand softly stroking her hair. A familiar action she hadn’t felt in so long. A comforting scent wafted through her nostrils. And when she finally registered who it was, she practically jumped out of bed, wrapping her arms around the person she needed most. And she hadn’t even realized.
“Mother.” She whispered into the shoulder that had been there to cry on since she was a young girl. She felt the warmth from her mother’s laughter bloom through her chest, and a comforting hand smoothing over the back of her hair.
“Good morning, my sweet girl.” Her mother said, placing a kiss at the crown of her head. Y/N clutched harder to the woman who raised her, and for some reason the comfort of being surrounded by her own family had brought forth more tears she didn’t know she could give. Her body silently shook, as she tried to hide her true feelings. But then a sob broke from her form, and her mother instantly noticed.
“Darling, what’s wrong?” The older woman asked, taking the girl by her shoulders so that she could see her, getting a good look at her tear sodden face.
Y/N’s lip trembled, her words lost on her tongue. She had no idea what to say. There was no way to reveal her true feelings without disappointing her mother. So she just shook her head and fell back against her mother’s chest, relishing in the arms that instantly took hold of her.
“Why are you here?” Y/N asked, when she finally regained her voice.
“You didn’t think that I wouldn’t see my daughter the morning of her wedding, did you?” Her mother chuckled softly, her hand still stroking Y/N’s hair, she felt as her Y/N shook in her arms and sighed before adding, “But now I’m sure that there’s a better reason that I’m here.”
Y/N stiffened in her mother’s arms, partly because of her mentioning the wedding, but also because she didn’t think she could get out of this conversation without telling her mother why she was crying. She could lie, of course. But something felt wrong about it. So she took a deep breath, trying to find the courage to say the words that have been plaguing her ever since her parents first told her about the betrothal.
“I don’t want to get married.” Y/N murmured, her voice small. She felt like a child again. Maybe she still was a child. She wasn’t ready for such a big milestone in her life. She had more life to live. She felt as her mother stopped stroking her hair. But this time, Y/N pulled herself back, putting on a brave face, even if her courage hadn’t quite caught up yet.
“What are you saying?” Her mother asked, her eyebrows furrowing.
“I’m not happy with this man, mother.” Y/N told her, the weight that had been pressing down on her chest ever since she arrived slowly started to dissipate. “I know that you want me to marry him. And I’ll do anything for you and papa, but I don’t know if i’ll be able to uphold the responsibility of being his wife. I just can’t—”
“—Darling, take a breath.” Her mother cooed, interrupting the rant that Y/N was about to dive into. Her mother’s features were soft, there was no hint of anger or disappointment. And it confused the girl. She wasn’t expecting a reaction that was so tender. She closed her mouth, letting her mother speak.
“My sweet girl.” Her mother said again, her eyes shining with what looked to be admiration for her daughter, “You have never been one to listen to what me and your father tell you to do.”
The two women laughed at the memories that flashed through their minds as her mother said this. Her mother’s aged hands came up to wipe the stray tears that were still falling from Y/N’s eyes. The older woman offered a kind smile before continuing on.
“In fact, you’ve always been the type to do what your heart tells you.” She said, “I would never want unhappiness for you. And I apologize I didn’t see it sooner. I thought this marriage would be good for you.”
“I don’t blame you for anything.” Y/N quickly said, covering her mothers hand with her own. The older woman smiled sadly at her daughter.
“Yes, but I blame myself.” She told her, “I took away your power in favor of deciding what’s right for you. But that is something I know you can do on your own. You are so strong, and kind, darling. I know that you will make the right choice, whatever you decide to do.”
Y/N pulled her mother into yet another hug, earning a surprised yelp from her. Y/N held onto her tight. Suddenly being hit with a bout of appreciation for the woman who raised her. As she held onto her mother, she realized everything that she was, was thanks to this woman. And then she realized all of the things that she had done for her mother in return. Which was nothing but trouble and self-proclaimed heart attacks. Y/N thought back to when her mother first told her about her betrothal, and how there were tears of pride shining in her irises. It was rare to be subjected to those tears.
And the girl now saw the deeper meaning of her responsibilities. She saw what her actions would do if she did what she wanted, the disgrace that she would bring to her parents for the rest of their lives. And she thought of Eren, who was now lost to her because of her choices. So maybe her mother was wrong. Maybe her mother did know what was right for her. Maybe she should live on the choices of others, because it seemed that her own was what caused this whole mess in the first place. Y/N held her mother tighter, and with a shaking breath, she finally decided what she must do.
“Will you help me with my wedding dress?”
~
It was a beautiful day for a white wedding. Everyone had great big grins on their faces, wearing their Sunday best. It was a small wedding, but Mrs. Jaeger had invited their closest friends and family. And they were all happy. All except one man, who stood at the front steps of the church, looking up at the building with as much disdain one would hold towards their enemy.
His fists were clenched at his sides, his features darkened. Though no one paid him any mind as they streamed past him into the wide double doors to find their seats. Eren watched the happy people with contempt. It was unfair that these people associated this day with joy when he saw it for the facade it was.
The whole event reeked of fraudulence. A marriage between a man whose only interest was in the image it presented and a woman who was trapped by her responsibility. And there was nothing Eren could do about it except to stand frozen in trepidation, the carefree wedding-goers chatting excitedly around him. No one noticed him. He was an outsider.
A hand on his shoulder pulled him from his self-deprecating thoughts. He turned to find his mother smiling up at him.
“Are you ready?” Mrs. Jaeger asked. Eren’s throat was tight and his tongue was dry, there was no way to respond to his mother so he simply nodded, holding out his arm for her to take. Her grip was gentle on his arm as he guided her into the church, but even with the familiar comforting touch of his mother, his dread was still looming over him.
“What’s troubling you, darling?” He heard his mother say through the uneasy fog that clouded his brain. He blinked at her, though he wasn’t surprised that she noticed his miserable demeanor. She was his mother after all.
“Nothing.” He breathed, but when he earned a look of disbelief from the older woman, he realized he couldn’t get away with just one simple word. “I can handle it on my own.”
His mother offered him a sad, knowing smile, “Is that all the information you’re willing to give me?”
“For now.” He said softly, as they reached their seats at the front of the church. His brother was already standing up at the altar, in his best suit, his blonde hair slicked back, punctual as always. Eren tried hard not to glare daggers at Zeke as he stood idly waiting for his bride.
“Well if you won’t reveal any more of your troubles, will you allow me to offer you a piece of advice?” Mrs. Jaeger said as they sat in the pew.
“How will you be able to offer me advice if you don’t know what’s troubling me?” Eren chuckled, as he leaned his forearms on his knees.
“This piece of advice is one that covers a broad spectrum of topics. I’ve utilized it many times throughout my life.” Mrs. Jaeger laughed as she brushed a strand of Eren’s hair behind his ear. He smiled gently at the action he recognized from his childhood. And then he leaned back against the wooden bench, rubbing his palms over his thighs, letting out a deep breath as he did.
“Go on, then.” He sighed, “Let’s hear it.”
“I may not know what’s troubling you, but I do know it will pass.” She said, thoughtfully, “These sorts of things always have a funny way of working themselves out. You just simply have to hold on.”
“What if it doesn’t work itself out?” Eren breathed, finally letting his true feelings harrow his facial features, “What if I’m not strong enough to hold on.”
“My dear boy, you are the strongest man I’ve had the pleasure of knowing.” His mother said, her eyes filled with kindness and gratitude, “But I think you might have been misguided to what strength truly is.”
“Then what is true strength?”
“Vulnerability.” She told him, placing a hand over his own, “I regret that you grew up learning that strength was pushing away the things that trouble you. I should have taught you that sometimes you just have to go through it to get out of it. You have to let yourself feel.”
“I don’t know if I can do that.” Eren whispered, looking down at their hands.
“Of course you can, darling.” His mother smiled warmly, clasping her fingers around Eren’s hand, squeezing it with reassurance. Eren opened his mouth to deny his strength once more. But he was interrupted by the appearance of his father, who placed a gentle kiss on his mother’s temple before sitting down next to her. The moment had passed and Eren kept quiet. The words of his mother swarming his brain. He sat silently, his mind reeling, until the whole church was full with family and friends. He sat there until everyone settled down, and the organ started playing the wedding march. Then they all stood, turning towards the end of the aisle, smiling faces waiting. The doors opened, and the bride entered on the arm of her kind-looking father, her pretty white dress flowing around her like an ocean made of silk. And at that moment, Eren felt everything.
~
Y/N’s hands were shaking as she clutched onto her father’s forearm. Her whole body felt numb, and she was pretty sure her legs were moving on their own because her mind was telling her to run away and to never look back. But her own determination kept her where she was. She had come to a decision this morning. And there wasn’t any reason for her to back out of it now. But even so, her determination and her desire was waging war within her mind.
And then she saw Eren and everything stopped. The world around her disappeared as well as the war in her mind. She sucked in a breath at the sight of him. He was looking at her with parted lips and tenderness in his eyes. He was standing in the very first row of the pews, he was only three feet away from the altar. Three feet from where Y/N truly wished he could be.
That secret desire coming forth crashed into her so forcefully she almost lost her footing. Her determination was quickly losing the battle against her desires. Eren was the secret weapon, the surefire way to end her tribulations. Her heartstrings tugged her towards him. But she was held in place by her father. She was trapped by the confines of the social expectations of a wedding. And now her mind was reeling for completely different reasons.
She was so preoccupied, that it came to her as a surprise when she found herself at the altar, standing in front of Zeke. Her father had left her with a single kiss on her forehead, and desperation had almost caused her to grab at his wrist, urging him to stay. But her father left her there, finding a place next to her mother.
The words of the minister didn’t register in her ears. It was like she was under water, listening to warbled speech she couldn’t understand. Everyone around her seemed to be fine, acting normal. She stole a glance at the man standing next to her. His face was blank, unmoving, as he stared politely at the minister.
Y/N’s heartbeat was hammering against her ribcage, trying to force its way out of her chest. The end was drawing nearer and her hands were now uncontrollably shaking, the bouquet she was holding was trembling. And no one noticed. Not even her fiance.
Except, unknowing to her, Eren noticed. Because he noticed everything about her. There wasn’t a moment since she entered the room where he took his eyes off of her. She was the image of aphrodite herself in her white gown. And now he watched as tension caused her to stand rigid up on the altar.
Eren wanted to hold her shaking hands, he wanted to leave kisses on her cheeks, he wanted her to know that she didn’t have to worry about anything else as long as he was there. He wanted so desperately to take her away from this whole mess, without the obstacle of his brother and their families. And suddenly he realized why Y/N was so hurt the day Zeke gave him his proposition. As long as this marriage was in the way, they would never be able to have each other the way they truly wished for. Y/N wanted him to want all of her. Not the feeble version of his love that had to be hidden in secrecy, like his brother offered. She wanted him to love her outloud. To scream it until his throat was raw, until every single person knew that he was hers. And he wanted that too. He wanted all of her.
“Do you Y/N Y/L/N, take Zeke Jaeger to be your lawfully wedded husband.” The minister said in his drawling voice, effectively pulling Eren free from the whirlwind of feelings that he was encased in. Panic settled in his bones, and before he realized what he was doing, Eren was standing on shaking legs. The crowd gasped, the world on the verge of an uproar.
But as it turned out, the horror from the crowd wasn’t a reaction to him. At that exact same moment when Eren stood, Y/N spoke.
“I can’t.” She said, and she was almost shocked by the confidence of her tone. Zeke looked at her with fire in his eyes. The minister stood dumbfounded between them. The guests were all watching with bated breath.
“What are you doing?” Zeke hissed through gritted teeth.
“I apologize.” Y/N said in a hushed tone. The many people watching them straining their ears, and leaning forward in their seats so they could catch what was going on.
“I just realized that I must reject your proposal.” She said simply, her shoulders straightening as she felt her courage rise to her chest.
“You… You can’t reject my proposal when we’re standing at the altar.” Zeke sputtered, his face turning red. He glanced nervously at his father who was staring at them with a rage that no one would want to be subjected to.
“Better late than never.” Y/N shrugged, shoving her bouquet into Zeke’s hands. She began to turn, but his slimy grip on her wrist stopped her before she could make her grand escape.
“Are you seriously doing this?” Zeke spat, “Are you truly willing to bring disgrace to both our families?”
The two stood staring at one another for a moment. A moment long enough to maybe think that Zeke had convinced her to stay. But then Y/N’s eyes shifted over to her parents. She saw how her father’s features were covered with confusion. Her mother beside him, had her hands covering her mouth, but her eyes were gleaming with an amused smile that was most likely hidden by her palms. When her mother gave her a small encouraging nod, more of her courage settled into her form.
And then she looked over to the other side of the room, where the Jaegers were standing. She saw how Mr. Jaeger stood with anger in his eyes, nostrils flaring, cheeks red. His wife beside him held a look of curiosity, and maybe something along the lines of understanding, but there was nothing disdainful written in her irises.
And finally, her eyes rested on the man who had stolen her heart. All he gave her was the same crooked grin she saw that very first night on the train. And that was all she needed. Y/N turned back to Zeke, her own smile dancing on her lips.
‘Zeke… Believe me when I tell you that I am the last woman to make you happy.” She said, “I’m giving you the chance to find a wife you can actually be proud of. And maybe then you’ll be able to offer her more than a soulless marriage.”
Zeke’s grip loosened as he listened to her words. His own shock was easily readable over his features. This was the first time he showed any emotion to Y/N, and she thought that the change suited him. She offered him one more beaming smile before taking a step back. The tension that surrounded them finally broke, the crowd around them immediately went into a frenzy, breaking the shocked silence with flabbergasted chatter. And through the chaos, the bride disappeared, leaving the church in a flash of blinding white.
~
The wedding was left in shambles. The crowd grew restless as they searched for people to speak on such an unforgivable action made by the bride. Gossip was buzzing through the air, making it almost impossible for Eren to even hear himself think.
When he finally regained his senses he immediately moved to set off after her. His heart was racing, and the world around him was total mayhem, but all he knew was that he couldn’t bear to be apart from Y/N any longer than he needed to. He took his first step towards the door when he felt a strong grip wrap itself around his arm. He looked over his shoulder to find his father’s fuming face, and before he realized what was happening he was being pulled in the opposite direction in which Y/N left.
A second later he found himself being shoved into the backroom of the church. Zeke was pacing the length of the entire room. Y/N’s parents stayed huddled in the corner speaking in hushed tones. They all looked up when Eren and his father entered the room, Mrs. Jaeger followed closely behind.
“Father, please, I don’t know why I need to be involved in—” Eren started to say, but he was instantly cut off as Mr. Jaeger interrupted him.
“What is the meaning of this?” He asked no one in particular, looking around the room waiting for the answer as to why the bride ran away from her own wedding.
There were a few people in the room who didknow the answer. But no one seemed to want to speak up as they all stood silent, watching as Eren’s father fumed in the middle of the room.
“Will anyone care to explain why my son was just left at the altar?” Mr. Jaeger spoke up again, his eyes landing on the Y/L/N’s, as if they were to blame for their daughter’s actions.
Obviously, her father found offense in Mr. Jaeger’s accusatory glare. The man took a step closer to his father, his chest puffing up, making him look like an overprotective bear.
“I believe my daughter had just exercised her right to make her own choices.” He said, his voice subdued but the anger was still there. Eren wasn’t sure if he’d ever want to be under that malicious glare. And he couldn’t help but love the fact that his father was subjected to it now.
His father scoffed, “A choice that made our families the new topic for dinner table gossip. Do you not care that your daughter disgraced us?”
“No, I’m happy to say that I don’t.” Her father fumed, “In fact, I think she made the right decision.”
“Her actions made a waste of this whole affair and the connections this union would have brought forth.” Mr. Jaeger retorted.m, his ears turning red.
“Might I remind you who paid for this wedding, Mr. Jaeger?” Mr. Y/L/N replied, “You have no right to discuss what is a waste and what isn’t, and quite frankly, I would spend a fortune to disband any connections with the likes of you.”
“How dare you—“
“Father!” Zeke’s voice rang out across the room, all eyes suddenly turning towards him. “There is no reason to fall into petty arguments when there are other contributing factors we need to account for.”
“What do you mean?”
“The blame doesn’t solely belong in Miss Y/L/N’s hands.” Zeke said, his eyes falling on Eren. The room grew silent. Eren wanted to wring his brother’s neck.
“What are you saying?” Mr. Jaeger asked, not yet noticing where Zeke’s gaze was pointed. His brother nodded towards Eren, everyone’s eyes landed on him.
“Eren, care to enlighten everyone?” Zeke questioned. Eren’s eyes burned towards his older brother, his jaw clenched. His anger coursed through him like a current. Though he shouldn’t be surprised that his brother had found a way to force Eren into the box that labeled him as the mistake of his family.
But now that he was here, at a failed wedding, the love of his life somewhere out in that world. He realized that he didn’t care for the label. And maybe he should just take ownership of it. So when he spoke again he told the truth, and he didn’t dare hold himself back.
“I love her.” He said softly. He heard Y/N’s mother gasp, his own mother placing her hand over her mouth in surprise. He watched as Zeke stared at him with disdain and his father looked at him as if he grew a second head.
“What? How? You’ve never even interacted with the girl.” His father stammered, somehow in disbelief that his son would cause such drama.
“That’s where you’re wrong, father.” Zeke spoke up again, “I’ve discovered that they’ve actually grown quite close. I’d only just learned of it when I found them together when I returned to my estate after the house call.”
“Tell me, Eren, is this true?” His mother asked, her hand now placed on her heart.
“Yes.” Eren replied, his voice unwavering. A sound of disbelief escaped his father’s throat. His brother shook his head, crossing his arms around his chest. Mrs. Y/L/N looked as if she were about to faint, and all the color had drained from her husband’s face.
“You’re saying you hold affections for my daughter?” Mr. Y/L/N asked, his eyes still wide from the second shock of the day. Eren nodded.
“I do.”
“And she feels the same towards you?”
“I believe she does.” Eren said, his heart swelling at the thought of her. He watches as Y/N’s father nodded with contemplation. The man stayed silent, so Eren spoke up once more.
“Forgive me, sir. I never meant to disgrace your family’s name.” Eren said, he straightened his shoulders, making sure to look him in his eye, “But I love your daughter. I am aware that I most likely can’t offer her the financial security that my brother’s marriage did. But I promise to make her happy.”
Mr. Y/L/N gaped at him and Eren felt self-conscious under his gaze. But then after a moment, her father shook his head, as if trying to clear his mind, and then held out his hand.
“Who am I to stand in your way?” He murmured, lifting his shoulders with admittance, his wife smiling behind him with tears in her eyes.
“Thank you, sir.” Eren grinned, taking the hand that her father offered to him in a firm handshake. “But now I’m afraid that I must be on my way.”
“Don’t tell me you intend to follow after this girl.” Eren’s own father snapped as Eren crossed the room.
“That’sexactlywhat I’m intending, father.” He grinned, not at all trying to hide the elation in his tone. Eren pressed the palm of his hand against the cool metal of the door knob. But before he could turn it, his fathers next words stop him in his tracks.
“If you leave this room then consider yourself no longer a part of this family.”
Eren hesitated. He didn’t care what his father thought of him, nor his brother. But there was one person, he didn’t want to be in disdained graces with. He turned towards his mother, who had been silent during this whole exchange. Not saying a word, he stepped towards her. She smiled at him, sadly, and placed a gentle hand on his cheek.
“Do what you must.” She whispered, “Your father will come around eventually.”
Eren placed his hand over her own, and squeezed her fingers with gratitude. A soft ‘thank you’ towards his mother was all that was left behind from the man, before he was finally out the door.
~
Y/N Y/L/N was accustomed to garnering strange looks her entire life. She had never been the type of child to behave, nor a young lady who followed certain social expectations. She had been the center of attention many times before. But somehow she felt vulnerable under the many stares she was under as she wandered through the train station. It would be foolish of her to think it was for any other reason besides the fact that she was in a wedding dress as she waited for the next train.
She kept her sight straight ahead, ignoring the whispers that surrounded her. Though she couldn’t help but crack a smile at the young girl who shouted out in delight at the sight of her. It reminded her of when she was young. A time that seemed so long ago as she now stood on the platform that would take her away from the wedding she just ran out of.
She wasn’t exactly sure why her feet had carried her here. Maybe she felt as though she couldn’t return to the Jaeger’s estate due to the fact she just left their oldest son at the altar. So now here she stood, with her parent’s stolen reservation for the afternoon train, without an ounce of guilt.
Her parents would find another way home, she was certain of it. And she was just happy to be rid of a fiance who didn’t love her. Relief had flooded her form as she ran from the wedding, and when she caught a ride from a confused yet friendly farmer to the train station, she couldn’t help the grin that had been plastered to her face as the church was left behind in the distance.
The only tribulation that had found her was that in the shape of Eren Jaeger. She thought of him back at the church, surrounded by the chaos she created. Y/N hoped, against all reason, that he would find his way to her. And she felt a strange sense of comfort, deep in the pit of her stomach, because she knew that he would. Eventually, at least.
The train coming to a screeching halt in front of her pulled the girl from her thoughts. And as she stepped onto the train, she received even more odd looks, but she paid them no mind. She just simply made her way to the back of the train, and she didn’t stop until she was finally in the safety of an empty compartment. The feeling of vulnerability washed away as she found comfort in being behind closed doors. Even if those doors were made of glass.
A great sigh of relief escaped past her lips as she sat down against the plush surface of the seats. Her eyes fluttered shut as she tried to quiet her racing heart. She was finally home free. It was time for her to relish the calm that this compartment gave to her. The train would be stopped at the station for just a while longer. It made no sense for her to still be reeling with adrenaline while she waited.
She opened her eyes towards the sun that was seeping through the window. The people on the platform scurrying about as they packed their things onto the train. Something Y/N didn’t have to worry about since she left behind all of her belongings. Hopefully her mother will have more sense than she and collect her items for her.
Y/N laughed at herself, wondering how her mind could shift so drastically from her abandoned wedding to something as simple as her luggage. But she was greatly thrilled by the fact that something so simple was her greatest trouble at the moment. She sank further in her seat, watching with content at the random faces that passed her window.
But soon her small moment to herself was interrupted when the sound of the compartment door sliding open broke the silence. She looked up to find a man standing in the door. His cheeks flushed in a light shade of pink. His brown hair tousled as if he ran the whole way here, and his best suit was askew. His bright teal eyes were already trained on her.
“Everywhere else is full. Do you mind if I sit with you?” He asked, a sheepish grin finding its way on his lips as Eren repeated the very first words he ever spoke to her. There was no answer that was waiting for him as the girl immediately jumped from her seat, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in, overwhelming him with the scent of wildflowers.
“How did you find me?” She asked into his neck, bringing goosebumps over his tanned skin.
“There’s been a lot of talk around town about a young lady running around in a wedding dress.” Eren chuckled, his arms tightening around her waist, the dress in question soft under his fingertips. “I took my chances.”
“I’m glad you did.” Y/N replied, her grin wide as she pulled him even closer towards her, if it were even possible.
“Care to explain to me why you left your own wedding?” Eren then asked, pulling himself away from her to look into her eyes, they were already filled with a mischief that felt far too familiar.
“I believe that you might already know.” She said, her lips curled up in a devious smile.
“I suppose you are right.” Eren smirked, clasping her hand in his own to brush his lips against her knuckles.
“Then it must be safe to assume that you followed me here for the same reason.” Y/N said, her skin tingling from the simple kiss.
“It is.” Eren nodded, his features falling into an expression that was much more serious.”And I’ve come to tell you that my heart still resides in your hands. I want to give you all that I am, body and soul. It’s yours. If you’ll have me?”
“And what would you want in return?” Y/N murmured, tilting her head up to brush her nose softly against Eren’s. A content sigh left his lips as she brought herself closer to him, she could feel his heart hammer against her own chest. Or maybe it was her own.
“Forgive me if I come across as selfish,” He whispered, his lips lightly brushing over hers with a whisper of a kiss, “But my heart will never be satisfied unless I have all that you are.”
“I’m already yours.”
Those were the last words spoken before Eren’s lips found Y/N’s in a searing kiss. Y/N sighed into his lips as he held onto her like she was his only solace. And just like that very first night, the two were lost within one another as the train slowly started to move and the world around them started to shift and change.
~~~
A/N: Phew!! she ran off with Eren! thank god!!! I apologize for the lack of smut, but this chapter was so freaking full of angst i didn’t know where i could add it, maybe maybe maaaaybe I’ll write an epilogue :)))) I hope you liked this last chapter!!!!!! Please feel free to message me about anything! I love you guys so much :)))))
A/N: Sorry sorry sorry!!! this chapter totally got away from me, and I always forget how long it takes me to write smut lmao, anyways! it’s finally here!! thank you for being patient with me! I love you all so much and I hope you enjoy! :))
Chapter 6
Y/N’s forehead was pressed against the smooth surface of a window pane that overlooked the land that she would be residing in for the rest of her life. She was currently flooded with the overwhelming feeling of deja-vu, from that very first moment on the train ride that brought her closer to her greatest doom. And in the same regards brought her towards the greatest euphoria she’s ever known. How unfair that this is where her train-ride ended. In a never-ending cycle of torment. The push and pull of what she had to do and what she actually wanted. Deja-vu came to her in the form of despair that sat in the pit of her stomach.
The girl felt as though she were trapped. Trapped in a home she didn’t want to live, trapped in a life that was thrust upon her.
Good thing she was brought to this very estate for practice.Zeke had relayed to her that the reason they were staying at his estate for the last week before their wedding was to become accustomed to their new roles as husband and wife. However, if their marriage was anything like her current treatment she was destined for a life of misery. Though, she shouldn’t have expected anything more. Maybe Y/N should be grateful that most of their time was spent in different corners of this impressive home. The quiet honing in on them in the most violent of ways. Y/N was surprised that she had not yet been brought to insanity. But it was better than being subjected to Zeke’s lectures. She had already garnered four of them over the past two days they had been here.
A deep sigh escaped the girl’s lips. Fogging up the window from the heat of her breath. She dragged a finger through the condensation. A mindless swirl left behind from her delicate touch. She jumped when the double doors to the drawing room burst open, signaling the arrival of her husband-to-be.
“Please, I beg of you to have some form of restraint and not sit on the windowsill as you are.” Zeke snapped, the first words of the day of course being a reprimand. Y/N did not apologize. Just simply slid off the raised structure where her feet landed on the marble floor with a dull thud.
“Good morning to you too, sir.” Y/N mumbled, smoothing out her skirt, trying to rid of any other reason for Zeke to harp on her.
Zeke sighed, removing his glasses to run a hand over his harrowed features, seemingly tired of his unruly bride-to-be. But he must’ve thought her rude behavior was a lost cause as he went on to discuss the matter which brought him into this room.
“I’ve come to tell you that I’ve been called away from the estate.”
Y/N perked up at his words, “Why?” She asked unabashedly.
“An emergency.” He replied simply, “A house-call has been made for my father and he acquires my assistance.”
“When are you leaving?” Y/N questioned, sounding a little more eager than she should. Zeke looked at her pointedly but continued on.
“He needed me as soon as possible, so I’ve already made arrangements for my carriage.” Zeke explained, Y/N nodded, and then paused, already anticipating the lecture he was bound to give. Zeke did not disappoint.
“You are to stay here.” He said, “I expect you to behave yourself. I will be gone for two or three days and when I return it would be fantastic if the order of this estate remained intact.”
Y/N blinked in surprise at the hint of sarcasm in Zeke’s tone. She never expected any form of emotion from her fiance other than strict rigidness. The girl refrained herself from laughing, at the absurdity, but nodded obediently instead. Mostly in hopes that this conversation will end and he would leave faster. And it seemed it worked as Zeke pursed his lips, unable to find yet another thing about the girl to chastise.
“Then I will see you when I return.” He said, before bowing. Y/N returned his departing words with a half-hearted curtsy. And then he turned on his heel, leaving her alone for the first time in weeks.
~
A soft breeze disturbed Eren’s brunette locks as he stood at the precipice of the estate. His breathing was controlled and determined, as he tried to calm his racing mind. However, that was a challenge he had been trying to conquer for the past two days. He had been on an unforeseen journey for three days now. Sleeping in random taverns that he came across during his travels. And the whole time his mind had been occupied with the thought of her in the arms of his brother. It made him sick to his stomach.
He never wanted to return. But he knew he had to at one point. It was inevitable. Just like the wedding he was expected to be at, which was scheduled to be in four days. His breathing quickened as he felt the time slip through his fingers like sand. No matter how hard he tried to get it to stop it kept sliding on by, with no desire to listen to his wishes. Time seemed to be an evil thing.
Eren shook his head at the harrowing thought. Four days was enough. It was enough time to clear his head and learn to be happy for his brother. Learn to let go of Y/N. But he needed space. And that was why, instead of being in the same house as his brother and the fiance that should have been his, his feet had carried him to a place he was certain was completely empty. Obviously, Eren should be back at his father’s estate, helping with the business and god forbid, the horrible wedding. But he couldn’t do it. Not yet at least. So Eren took one last deep breath before taking a step towards his brother’s seemingly empty estate.
~
The sun outside began to dip below the horizon, the rooms spilling over with the pink hues of the sunset. At this point during her stay, the young girl was now used to the strange looks she had been receiving from her fiance’s staff all day. Though, it’s not like Y/N could blame them. They were probably shocked for someone to be so happy within these walls. And here Y/N was, practically skipping as she hummed a random tune, exploring the house at her own free will.
Y/N never realized the glorious taste of freedom until she was finally left on her own. Away from strict rules and admonished glares from her fiance and his father. It felt like she could finally breathe again. She just had to ignore the crushing feeling that would slip between the cracks every so often. Y/N didn’t want to think about how this might be her last instance of feeling so free. So instead of dreading the end of her false sense of liberty, she relished in it. A soft smile on her face, as she examined the art that Zeke had placed on his walls. He had quite the eye for this sort of thing. Or perhaps, more likely, his mother had quite the eye. Y/N didn’t think the man had an artistic bone in his body. It made much more sense that this house was so beautiful at the hands of his mother.
The girl laughed softly at the thought, her head tilted slightly as she looked over a painting of a young couple captured in a meadow for the rest of eternity. They looked so blissfully at peace. A strange sense of jealousy pierced through the girl’s chest. But yet again, she ignored it, shaking her head slightly as she moved on to the next painting. Her eyes desperately searched for something new to fixate on so she didn’t have to think about her wedding. Which was almost laughable. Never in a million years did she ever think she would dread her wedding. But she did. And now she was forcing herself not to cry as she lost the battle of ignoring her troubles.
Luckily, she was interrupted by a door opening, revealing a member of Zeke’s staff.
“Mr. Jaeger has arrived, Madam.” The man said, and Y/N’s heart dropped. She didn’t think that her freedom would end so quickly. She was only given one night to herself when she expected two more.
Y/N tried to hide the disappointment on her face as she nodded at the man. “Very well, send him in so I shall greet him.”
If I don’t greet him like a proper wife he’ll probably lock me in the basement, she refrained from adding. The man bowed before exiting the room and Y/N turned back towards the painting, hoping she could twist her features in an expression that didn’t show her true detestment of Zeke. She held her breath as she heard the door behind her open once more. Her shoulders stiff, Y/N opened her mouth to greet him, but suddenly he spoke, and it felt as though all the wind was knocked out of her.
“Miss Y/L/N.”
Y/N whipped around to find Eren, standing at the edge of the room, his expression dumbfounded, his irises sparking with shock. And Y/N would have been embarrassed, with the way her lip quivered at the sight of him. Every emotion she tried to ignore coming back in full force. She couldn’t handle it on her own. All of a sudden she found herself crossing the room to find herself in his arms. She never realized how much she needed Eren until he was standing in front of her now.
Instinctively, Eren’s arms circled around her waist, pulling her into him. The press of her chest against his own seemed to bring him back to life from the three day coma that passed him by. His hand wound itself in her hair, a breath of relief escaping him as she leaned into his touch.
“What are you doing here?” He asked, pulling back to look in her eyes. They searched his face, her eyebrows furrowed with confusion.
“You didn’t know I was here?”
Eren shook his head, “No, I had no idea. I thought you were back at my fathers with…”
He didn’t want to say his name. And now it was Y/N’s turn to shake her head.
“No, he took me here the night of the ball.” She explained, her fingers subconsciously toying with the hairs at the nape of Eren’s neck. “I wanted to tell you but they put me in a carriage with no warning. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to meet you in the garden. Were you waiting for me?”
“I was.” Eren swallowed, his tone strained with the hurt that plagued him since that night. Y/N’s expression softened, her hand finding his face hoping that her touch would bring him the same sense of comfort that he brought her. He shut his eyes, hiding the teal that she’s grown to adore and released a shaky breath.
“Why did he bring you here?” He asked after a moment of silence, he opened his eyes again, showcasing more of that hurt.
“He wanted me to become accustomed to being the lady of the house.” Y/N laughed bitterly, separating herself from Eren, and turning away from him.
“Did that include…” He struggled to get the second half of his sentence out, “spending the night together.”
Y/N’s head snapped towards Eren, “What? No, of course not. Zeke’s never been one to go against societal expectations. And I’m not at all interested in sharing any affections with that man.”
Eren took notice of the offense that twisted her features. “Please, forgive me. I’m not accusing you of anything. I just…”
“You just…?” Y/N breathed, taking a step closer to Eren, his gaze trained on the floor beneath them.
“I hate the thought of you with anyone else.”
Y/N sucked in a breath when his eyes met hers with the resounding clash of his statement. Words were lost on her tongue as he took a step closer, his gaze burning over her. The flames of want and need lapping at her skin, burning her with the proof that she would forever and always be his.
“I don’t want to be with anyone else.” She whispered.
“Then will you have me as I am?” Eren said, his eyes pleading, “Will you put me out of this misery and receive my foolish heart which is already irretrievably yours.”
Y/N let out a breathy laugh, tears once again swimming in her eyes, though this time for a much better reason. “My heart has been lost to you since the very moment you kissed me. Maybe even before that.”
Eren’s own grin danced across his features as his hands cupped her face, his touch gentle, almost unsure. It was as if he couldn’t believe that this moment was real, that she would slip away from his grasp if he held on too tightly. Y/N wanted to ease his worries.
“I’m yours. Every single part of my being belongs to you.” She told him, and she had more to say. She was going to tell him how she was willing to give him everything she had to offer, hoping that he would take it and give her the same. But before she could his lips had found hers and there was nothing else to do but fall into his kiss.
The two became intertwined, lost in each other’s touch, hands wandering until it came to the point where Eren didn’t know where Y/N began and he ended. His grip was tight on her waist, as he tried to restrain himself from taking her right in the middle of his brother’s drawing room. Eren forced himself to pull away from Y/N’s lips.
“Will you allow me to escort you to your bedroom?” Eren murmured, his thumb rubbing slow circles into her side. “It’s getting rather late.”
“Please tell me that you’re not rejecting my advances again.” Y/N chuckled, though her body was still flushed with slight embarrassment. “I don’t believe my dignity can take it.”
Eren laughed, smoothing a palm over her hair and leaving a soft kiss against her forehead. “I was only trying to uphold the illusion of propriety. I was fully intending on joining you in your bedroom. If you’ll let me?”
Y/N answered his final question with another fervent kiss, her hands finding his face to pull him in as close as possible. She could feel how he smiled into her lips, his hands were back around her waist. They were lost in their lust once more, until they couldn’t handle the barrier of clothing any longer.
WIth hands intertwined, they rushed out of the room, practically running through the hall until they found her assigned room at the other side of the house. As they stopped in front of the oak door that would give them the privacy they so desperately wanted, Y/N’s hands shook as she fumbled with the door knob. Eren, taking notice of this, covered her hand with his palm.
“Are you certain you want to do this?” Eren asked, removing her hand from the engraved medal to press it to his chest. She could feel his heartbeat under his cotton shirt. It was beating at the same frantic rate hers was. Somehow, that relieved her from all her worries.
“Of course I do.” She said, and to prove her point, she effortlessly opened the door revealing where she had been spending the past couple of nights.
“Even if it’s against all reason.” Eren questioned, as he followed her into the room, gently shutting the door behind him.
“I believe we are both aware that we lack a certain sense of decorum.” Y/N laughed, sitting atop her mattress, bouncing slightly from the momentum. Eren offered her a crooked grin as he stepped closer to her, his knees brushing against her own.
“We’ve never been one to uphold responsibility, have we?” He said, propping his knee up on the bed. Y/N instinctively fell back on the plush surface of her mattress, her arms linking around his neck pulling him into her. Eren’s body covered her completely, his hips pressing into her own offered her the proof of his need for her.
“I can hear my mother’s heart break from one hundred miles away.” Y/N teased, her legs wrapping around his hips. She bit her lip as he immediately started to grind into her, his erection pressing up against her center.
“My grandfather is rolling in his grave.” Eren grinned, trying to hold back the groans that Y/N was pulling from his throat as her hands smoothed over his shoulders, slipping off the coat he arrived in. And he wasted no time removing the next layer of his clothing so he now sat in front of her shirtless.
Y/N bit her lip at the sight of him. She wouldn’t be surprised if the gods themselves had modeled him out of the most pristine marble found on earth. It was almost unfair the way his muscles looked bathed in the golden light of the flickering candle on her bedside table. Her hands found the hard surface of his chest, pushing him softly so that she could flip herself on top of him.
“What are you doing?” Eren asked, as she started to fumble with the clasp of his trousers, sliding the fabric over his long legs. Her hands were cold, bringing goosebumps to his tanned skin when her fingers curled around the waistband of his undergarments.
“All this time you have been bringing me the most immense pleasure.” Y/N told him as she kissed the smooth skin of his v-line. Eren swallowed hard when her tongue darted out, for a taste of his sweet skin. “I’ve found that I’ve been selfish during our encounters.”
She tugged at the fabric, his erection springing free from its confines, the tip already leaking with the proof of his arousal. Now Y/N had never seen any other man in this intimate capacity, but she knew that any other man would pale in comparison when rivaled with Eren. Y/N licked her lips at the sight, and her tongue was begging to have a taste. Her own arousal rushing through her like a freight train.
“Y/N, you don’t have to—” His sentence was interrupted by the sharp gasp that escaped him when her lips wrapped around the head of his cock. His knuckles turned white as he gripped the sheets underneath him. The pleasure that Y/N brought him from just the touch of her lips had his chest heaving with shaky breaths, his head thrown back against the headboard.
Y/N peered up at him from her eyelashes, and felt a pang of lust at the sight of the tendons straining in his neck, his eyes twisted shut from the euphoria. A groan was pulled from his lips as she swirled her tongue against his burning skin. A groan that was cut short as she pulled off of him. His mouth opened to ask what was wrong, but soon he was speechless as Y/N pulled off the cotton dress that was hiding her figure. The rest of her garments joined her dress on the floor. And now it was his turn to admire her body under the flickering golden light.
Her skin looked as soft as velvet, her nipples were perked up against the cool air that surrounded them. His hands were itching to touch every inch of her. But before he could, her mouth returned to his cock, this time taking him deeper in her throat.
Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes. Never in her life had she ever done anything like this, but she wanted to please him the same way he did for her. Eren was quiet as she worked her tongue around his member. Y/N was slightly worried that she might be doing something wrong until his hand had found itself on the back of her head, a silent encouragement that told the girl to keep going.
A slight choking sound escaped the girl as she tried to fit as much as she could inside of her mouth. And Eren felt guilty as he felt himself twitch at the sight of her choking on his cock. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to admit how aroused he was by her innocence. It was obvious that he was the first person she had ever done this for. That thought almost had him at the edge of his orgasm. But then he felt as her throat contracted around him once more in a silent gag, and sense had come back to him.
Eren’s hands were gentle as he guided her face away from his aching erection and back towards his face. When she was in reach, he wrapped one of his arms around her waist, placing her on top of him. He could feel the slick of her arousal against his lower abdomen, more precrum spilled out of his cock at the sensation.
“Did I do something wrong?” The girl whispered, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. And Eren quickly shook his head.
“No, darling. Not at all.” He chuckled, cupping her face in his hands to leave a chaste kiss on her lips. “But if this is your first time with a man… I want this to be about you.”
“But it’s always been about me.” Y/N pouted, smoothing her hands over his chest once more, “I want to bring you as much pleasure as you bring me.”
Eren laughed, clasping one of her hands in his own and bringing it up to his mouth to press a gentle kiss in her palm, before he said, “Believe me when I tell you that bringing you to orgasm is the greatest pleasure I have ever been subjected to.”
Y/N hid her face in her hands as more embarrassment washed over her. Her usual bold demeanor was nowhere to be seen. Eren found this side of her quite endearing, and another chuckled rumbled out of his chest as he held her close.
The two of them stayed silent for just a moment. The whole of their bodies finally connecting, skin to skin, burning against one another. Eren rubbed slow circles into the small of her back and he smiled softly as he felt her relax into him. He was just about to speak again when he was interrupted by her own voice filtering out into the night.
“All this talk about bringing me to orgasm and you have yet to do so.” Y/N mumbled into his chest. Eren threw his head back with a hearty laugh from the return of her boldness, before flipping Y/N over so that he now resided on top. Y/N responded with a squeal from the abrupt movement but soon settled under his weight, sighing into the kiss he gifted her with when she did.
“Allow me to live up to my promise then.” He groaned, rocking his hips into her once more. His cock was already nestled between her slick folds and she gasped as his shaft rubbed harshly against her clit. But then that pleasure was taken away, as he lifted himself off of her. Her mouth opened to protest, but then his fingers replaced the press of his cock, rubbing slow circles into her aching clit.
She moaned under his touch, circling her own hips in time with his fingers. Eren could feel more of his precum leak out onto her thigh as he watched her chest heave up and down with pleasure. Dipping his fingers down further, he collected her wetness, spreading it back up to her clit, applying more pressure to her sensitive bud.
Her hand snapped towards his wrist, her fingernails digging into his skin as she tried desperately to keep him there. Eren chuckled softly at her desperation, before latching his mouth around her nipple, swirling his tongue around the puckered skin. Y/N’s back arched into his tongue, her moans turning into fervid panting.
And then, the girl jerked unexpectedly when Eren pushed a finger inside of her. He went in with ease, but the shock of having something inside of her with no warning surprised her. Though her surprise quickly subsided as he began to stretch her out with only his finger. And then he added another, picking up his momentum. And just when she felt so completely filled by him, so ready to release all the tension that was building up inside of her. He took it away again.
Her eyes opened to find Eren slipping his fingers past his lips. He took the time to truly enjoy the taste of her on his fingers. She could feel her arousal drip down over her thighs as she watched him. And she was certain his hand would return to give her more, until he rolled back on top of her, returning to the position they were in before.
“Are you ready for me, darling?” Eren asked, his words faltering as the pleasure of her bare cunt against his cock made him weak. He shuddered when a particular shift in her hips had caused him to rub against her entrance, his heart was beating with anticipation.
“Yes.” Y/N breathed as Eren smoothed a palm over the backs of each of her thighs, his hands stopping at the crease of her knees. Naturally, her legs hooked over his shoulders as he pressed his body into her, his tip slowly slipping inside of her.
Eren took his time. With each deep breath the girl gave him, he slowly pushed deeper inside of her cunt. Now it was Y/N’s fingers that were twisted within the sheets as he filled her up so completely. He was practically splitting her open as his cock carved into her velvet walls, and they each let out sharp gasps when their hips finally connected.
With the position they were in now, Eren was so deep inside of her that he was certain he would be lost within her forever. Or at least he wanted to be. His jaw was clenched as he restrained himself from hammering into her, but his legs were starting to shake, his resolve slowly fading. However, he held himself still, letting Y/N adjust to his size as he left soft kisses on her supple lips.
“You can move now.” Y/N whispered after a moment of just holding him inside of her. And Eren wasn’t completely sure if he had any use of his voice box. So instead he simply nodded, slowly rolling his hips into hers.
The pace in which he was moving was the most exquisite form of torture either of them have ever experienced. Eren was strong and steady with his movements as his irises burned into her own. Y/N hooked her arms around his neck bringing him in for another impassioned kiss. With their tongues intertwined, every part of them was now forged together as one.
Eren’s mind was now preoccupied with the taste of Y/N’s lips. His hips became uncontrolled, moving at a pace that caused Y/N to gasp and moan underneath him. He pressed his forehead against hers, his own gasps leaving his lips from how tight she felt wrapped around him.
Soon the sound of his skin slapping against hers filled the room, along with the provocative squelching that came from their combined arousal. Y/N relished in every little sound— her gasps, his moans, the sounds of their bodies moving as one— knowing that Eren was the only man she’d ever want like this. Even if it was embarrassing, or unladylike, she would always want to have him in this way.
Tears pricked in her eyes once more as the ticking of the clock began to ring out in her mind. The painful reminder that this might be the only chance she’ll ever be with him like this forced its way to the forefront of her mind. She hid her face in the crook of his neck, trying hard to will away the tears that were threatening to spill over her cheeks.
But then, Eren angled his hips in a way that pressed harshly against a spot that forced a sob to leave her frame, her tears coming with it. And now here she was, sobbing uncontrollably as Eren pounded into her. It was a strange sensation, being overcome with pleasure while her tears were falling so freely. She threw her head back against the pillow as Eren continued his overpowered thrusts. But that was a mistake on her part. Because as soon as Eren caught sight of the shine of her tears against her cheeks, he had stopped his movements completely.
“You’re crying.” Eren said, not as a statement but more as an observation. His features furrowed with concern, “Did I hurt you?”
Y/N shook her head, shifting her head to the side in order to avoid Eren’s piercing gaze. But his hand had found her jaw, gently coercing her into looking at him.
“If you want to stop, just say the word.” Eren told her, his thumb brushing under her eye to wipe away the stray tear that slipped free.
“No.” She breathed, raising her head to kiss him, “No, don’t stop. I don’t want this to end.”
“Is that why you’re crying?” He whispered, now using the gentle press of his lips to rid her cheeks of the tears.
“Yes.” She said honestly, her voice barely above a timid whisper. “I feel as though I’ll lose you after this.”
“You won’t.” Eren reassured her, still holding her chin so that she could see the truth in his eyes. “I’ve told you that you own my heart. I’m a man of my word. You’ll have me for the rest of our days.”
Y/N tried to find relief in his words, tried to grasp on to the stability he was providing. But it wasn’t his loyalty that she was scared of, it was something bigger than the both of them.
“It isn’t a matter of my trust in you.” She said.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s about the people in our lives that will take me away from you.”
Eren pulled his hand away from her face, propping himself up on his arm so he could look at the entirety of her. His eyebrows furrowed as her true fear finally came to light. It was a fear that he shared. For some reason he didn’t think that it would plague her as well. Maybe he thought that his affections towards her were greater. But now as she lay under him, shaking like a leaf, his cock still buried deep inside of her while tears streamed down her face, he realized that he had a greater effect on her than he thought. And maybe that was all he needed to know.
“They don’t matter.” He blurted.
“What?”
“None of them matter.” He emphasized. “I will never let them take you away.”
“Eren.” Y/N breathed, her eyes landing on the ceiling up above. She was too scared to look him in his eye right now. Too scared to know what he truly wanted to say. “What if they do?”
Eren stayed silent. He wanted to reassure her over and over again that he will always stay by her side. Even if it was in the background of her responsibility to be the proper wife of his brother. But he didn’t know if that was the right thing to say. And it wasn’t like he could tell the future and ease her worries on the spot. So instead, he said nothing. Until Y/N’s shining eyes found him once more, in the dying light of the candle.
“Will you…” Y/N stammered, her voice strained, “Will you just stay with me? If all we have is tonight I don’t want to waste another second. So please just stay.”
“I’ll stay.” Eren whispered, allowing himself to press back into her. Y/N’s arms wound their way around his neck once more, and she kissed him with every fiber of her being. He could feel the wetness of her tears against his skin as he kissed her back.
Eren didn’t want to rush into another heated moment, he wanted to take his time and make sure she was truly okay to be in this position with him. But then Y/N started pressing into him, creating her own momentum, and soon he was rocking back into her. He could feel as her walls clenched around him, pulling a gasp from his throat as she gripped his cock.
Y/N threw her head back in another moan, and Eren took this chance to leave kisses against the exposed skin of her neck. She whimpered when he nipped at her neck with his teeth, relishing in the pain. Y/N was addicted to feeling Eren all around her like this, his lips on her skin, his arms caressing her, as well as every vein and ridge on his cock that was carving through her.
He was moving so slowly. That same tortuous pace from before. He slid the entirety of himself out, until it was just the head that resided inside of her. And just as slowly he sank all the way back in. Eren continued this, over and over, and in this position he kept constant pressure on that spot that brought Y/N closer towards insanity. The tip of him dragging across it for exquisitely painful seconds with each thrust.
She was a complete and utter mess underneath him, shuddering and gasping, and Eren could feel his dick twitch inside of her as he watched her slowly unravel. But another whine protruded past her lips as she desperately tried to roll her own hips at a faster pace.
“Please.” She begged, her breath fanning out across his ear, “I need more.”
“As you wish.” He replied, before speeding up. It was gradual, his thrusts still long and deep, but they became faster each time. Y/N laid underneath him, in pure bliss, gladly letting him have his way with her as he now pounded into her. The bed was creaking under them with each thrust. And soon they were surrounded by the sounds of their fucking.
Eren lowered his face once more, capturing Y/N’s lips as he fucked into her, his thrusts moving at an ungodly pace. He no longer had any control of his body, his movements were an enactment of his lust and need for her. The way her cunt was squeezing around him was enough to have him shaking. He could feel as his abs contracted with every thrust. Y/N was draining him of every horrible thing he had ever been through and replacing it with the greatest pleasure he had ever known.
Eventually, his dick twitched inside of her and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to hold on for much longer. Y/N squirmed as she felt his arm slip between them, sending sparks throughout her nervous system with only his touch, and then his fingers had found her clit once more. His touch was intoxicating as he smoothed circles into her, all the while still pressing up against that same spot. And before she knew what was happening, Y/N’s orgasm spilled over her. Waves of pleasure wracked over her body, shaking from the overwhelming sensation.
A string of curses left Eren’s lips as Y/N clenched around him, and he quickly pulled himself out of her before his own orgasm took control. He groaned as he came, the result splattering itself on Y/N’s stomach as she came down from her own high. Eren caught himself on his arms as he lost his strength, hovering over Y/N as they breathed heavily, their eyes not leaving one another.
Not a word was said when Y/N grabbed his face, tugging him into one final kiss, before she fell back into the mattress. Fatigue found her rather quickly, and her eyes fluttered shut, seemingly lost to the world in favor of sleep. Eren chuckled softly before rolling off of the bed, he quickly tugged his pants over his legs and then crossed the room to the dresser where he knew the extra towels resided.
Y/N could hear as he rustled around the room. She wanted to open her eyes but sleep was taking over, so she stayed silent until she felt the cold press of a wet towel against her skin. She listened as Eren hummed softly while he cleaned her skin. Warmth found her when a blanket covered her form, and when a soft kiss was pressed to her forehead, she realized she didn’t want it to end like this.
Eren was surprised when a hand shot out from under the covers, grabbing onto his wrist with a grip so tight he was surprised that she still had the strength to do so. His eyes flickered from the hand on his wrist to the girl’s face to find her eyes opened to the world once more.
“You said you would stay.” She whispered, earning a soft smile from the man. He nodded silently, before slipping under the covers, his arms wrapping around her naked form. He pulled her close to his still bare chest and then whispered into her hair.
“I’m staying.”
~
To Y/N, it seemed as though the sun was shining a little bit brighter. Along with the smile on her face as she sat next to Eren at her fiance’s pianoforte. Soft laughter filtered out into the room as they talked about anything and everything. Life seemed to be good at that moment. In fact, after the night before, life seemed like it would be good for the rest of their lives.
This morning when she woke up in Eren’s arms she had forgotten about every single one of her troubles. And it had stayed that way all day, and even now, as they fooled around with the ivory keys that sat in front of them.
“I want to hear you play.” Y/N said, scooting closer to Eren so that their shoulders were brushing against one another.
“You’ve already heard me play.” Eren laughed, his own grin practically blinding her. He nudged her shoulder with his own in a teasing manner, eliciting more giggles from the girl.
“I wasn’t listening then, I was too preoccupied by you seducing me.” She retorted, and her heart leapt as Eren threw his head back in laughter. It was moments like these when she truly recognized how handsome he was. And happiness truly did a wonder on this man’s features. Her own smile became subdued as she admired him, butterflies returning to flutter around her stomach as she did.
“If you think those are the extent of my seduction skills then you are terribly mistaken, Miss Y/L/N.” He said, as his fingers started to dance lightly across the keys, serenading their private moment with a sweet tune.
“Then I beg you, Mr. Jaeger, please show me the full extent of your prowess.” Y/N laughed, and she meant to make fun of him further, however his lips connected with hers in a kiss, effectively shutting her up. She couldn’t help but press back into him, smiling into his lips. But then as he tried to pull her closer, she quickly pulled back from his touch. Eren let out an annoyed groan from the loss of her lips.
“I’m not sure if it counts as seduction if you just go right out and kiss me.” She teased.
“That depends,” He grinned, “Is it working?”
Y/N opened her mouth to retort. But then she realized that maybe it did work. So instead, she decided it was his turn to shut up, and placed her lips back over his own. Y/N could feel how his laughter rumbled through his chest as he kissed her back. But soon their giddiness was replaced with newfound lust, as their arms snaked around each other. Their laughter was replaced by soft sighs of satisfaction and Y/N could feel as she grew desperate to have him like she did last night. But before she could even suggest it, the words were quickly stolen from her tongue as the chilling drawl of her fiance’s voice echoed out across the drawing room.
“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised.”
~~~
A/N: Ah!!! suspense!!! also they finally did it :D, so good things and bad things happen i suppose… idk how we’re gonna get out of this, but we will :)) and the next chapter will come out in time i swear!!! also heads up… next chapter is the last chapter so hold on, it’ll be a bumpy ride !!! please feel free to leave a message!
sooo i was gonna write this out as a one shot but i have too much on my plate writing wise, so i thought bullet points would make this easier for all of us hehe anyways this is Eren as your bf obviously, my mind is on a constant cycle of romantic scenarios so this is what it’s like when he comes home to you (something that i think about wayyyy too often)
so imagine you’re on the couch, lounging casually, reading a book, any book it can be your favorite book.
it’s late afternoon so the sun is slowly slipping down towards the horizon giving your living room a nice golden glow
there are bright green plants that litter the room, you’re lying on the most wonderfully soft velvet couch
a playlist of classic love songs from the 50’s is playing in the background (i have this playlist if y’all want the link, it’s what helps me come up with most of my content lmao)
anyways, you’re having a lovely time just reading, your knees propped up, your head resting on a cute throw pillow
life is peaceful, life is good
then the wonderful and familiar sound of a key in the lock sounds out into the room, the front door of your small apartment slowly opening to reveal your tired yet handsome boyfriend, Eren Jaeger
you try to stifle your laughter but a soft chuckle bubbles up from your chest
his features were twisted up in a pout, his button up already in a disarray from him loosening his tie,
but then he saw you, on the couch and his face softens, his dark furrowed brows relaxing, his pink lips splitting into that crooked grin you’ve always loved
he also chuckles softly at the sight of you, your long skirt splayed out across the couch, the colors of your skirt and the furniture match bc you always tend to buy things in your favorite color (he tends to tease you about this, always stating how he’ll one day loose you in a sea of your favorite color)
he doesn’t say a word, just drops his bag on the wooden floor where it lands with a dull thud
and then he immediately crawls on top of you
he gently pulls the book free from your grasp, and throws it to the side, effectively loosing your spot, but you don’t complain. you’ve read it a thousand times
instinctively your legs find themselves on either side of his hips, your skirt slowly slipping over your thighs exposing your smooth skin, he’s pressing into you so nicely and completely and it fills all of your senses up with this man
one of Eren’s hands is already there on the plush skin of your thigh, his other arm slithering behind your head, his face already tucked into the crook of your neck, he’s dragging in your devine scent, which he’s become obsessed with over the years
“how was your day, darling” you ask (i find that nickname so tender, but also don’t let me dictate the nicknames you give this man, call him whatever you want)
he just groans against your skin, bringing goosebumps with the tickle of his breath
“that bad, huh?” you laugh, running your fingers through his hair, he recently got it cut, but it’s already growing out, you’re kind of jealous of how fast this man’s hair grows
“could be worse” he shrugs, and before you could ask how, his head pops up from its hiding place
his lips find yours in a gentle kiss, he tastes like altoids mints, and you know it’s because he likes to keep a pack in the middle compartment of his car
and just from his kiss and the taste of him you feel that deep primal ache in your core (you know the one i’m talking about, ;;;))) but you don’t make any moves bc he’s had a long day and you don’t want to attack him right off the bat!! (even though he looks so fucking hot in the golden sun, his tan skin practically glowing, his teal eyes shining)
the kiss was short, but it doesn’t take long for him to dip his head down again, kissing you deeper
he pulls a small whimper from you and you can feel him grin into the kiss
“i love the little sounds you make when i kiss you” he murmurs into your lips, and you push on his chest softly causing him to pull back, he’s grinning still
you pout bc you’re a little embarrassed but he just laughs and kisses you again and again and again until your pout disappears and the smile that brings him home everyday returns :)))
okay that was kind of corny… but i legitimately think about this scenario more often than i should and i just needed to write down some version of it.. i hope you enjoyed!! and if you have any little scenarios like this you wanna send in feel free!!!!!!! love you guys :)))
Warnings:Female masturbation, mentions of male masturbation, 18+, Minors DNI
Summary:Eren and the Reader are growing accustomed to being neighbors. This comes with the uncharted territory of finding out how thin their walls really are.
A/N: Soo, I’m sick. Which means I can’t go into work today. Which also means I’ll be sitting here bored. And I think something that will make feel better is posting chapter 2. :) I hope you enjoy!!
Chapter 2
For Eren Jaeger, there were very few things in his life that were constant. The first was his best friend, Armin, who managed to weasel into his life when they were in grade school. Armin had sort of latched onto Eren ever since he saved him from the class bully. He remembered that day clearly. He was walking home from school when he passed by an alley on the way. There was Armin, closing in on himself as the larger kid shadowed over him. Eren wasn’t that strong himself, but he had enough determination to tell the bully off. Eren was pretty sure the kid stayed away just so he wouldn’t have to deal with the nuisance that Eren was, rather than being too scared to try again. Either way Armin was grateful. After that he wouldn’t leave Eren’s side. And though it was annoying at first, Eren had come to find that he cared for the smaller blond man. Now he couldn’t imagine a life without him.
The second was his job. He was a video game developer for Titan Entertainment. One look at Eren and you wouldn’t assume that he was interested in something as nerdy as coding, but he grew up loving every detail of what went into video games. Soon enough, he went to university with a major in software engineering and now he had a job where he loved what he was doing. That’s all that really mattered to the man. Since he didn’t waste any of his time on doing anything that he wasn’t even remotely interested in.
That seemed to be the extent of what was constant in his life. Every other aspect of his life was erratic to say the least. Eren didn’t have ‘the usual’ at any coffee shop. He never read the same book twice. He always found himself in foreign places around the city every night. He even had a different woman lying in his bed every other morning after venturing to those new places. Eren liked to think of himself as a nomad. Traveling constantly and never settling down. Taking what he needed and leaving behind what he didn’t. He never stayed past the agreed upon lease at any apartment he had lived in. Hence why he was in this new apartment.
Though with this new apartment, he sensed that his usual way of life was being threatened. As the days passed he realized that there was a brand new constant that kept popping up. Ever since their encounter at the parking spot he had been running into Y/N every single day.
As it turns out, the two of them arrived home from work at the exact same time. He wondered why this didn’t happen during the week when he first moved in, but then he realized he was working overtime that week since his company was finishing up their newest video game for its release that was coming up in a few days. Now that he was back on his usual work schedule, it felt like the only person he ran into these days was Y/N.
One would think that this abrupt contradiction to his need for inconsistencies would bother him. Hell, even he thought that her constant presence would be an annoyance. But for some reason it didn’t. Maybe it was because the girl intrigued him. He never thought he would meet anyone who would have such a strong vendetta against him. Especially one that started over a parking spot. And here she was, in all her glory, and he had found that it was quite fun messing with her. It was like someone had placed a large red button in front of him, telling him not to press it, knowing damn well that he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back.
“Well look who it is.” Eren heard himself say as soon as he turned off the engine to his motorcycle. He pulled off his helmet, watching as the girl stood up after chaining the back wheel of her moped. “Fancy seeing you here, Kid.”
“Are you going to say that every time?” She rolled her eyes, slinging her camera bag over her shoulder.
“As long as I keep getting that warm welcome from you, consider it done.” Eren grinned as he swung his leg over his bike and followed her towards the building, holding his helmet underneath his arm.
“I thought you said I wouldn’t be seeing you around.” Y/N pointed out, as she opened the glass door that led into the lobby. Eren placed his hand on it to hold it open as she moved inside.
“And I thought you said you were planning on never speaking to me again, and yet, here we are.” Eren retorted.
“Touché.” Y/N breathed, pressing the button to the elevator. Their words died in the air between them and they were silent for just a moment. Eren took this time to study the girl. She was far prettier than she probably knew. Though, of course, he noticed that from the moment he met her. It was hard for him not to notice how attractive a woman is. Especially when that woman hated him from the moment she met him. God, he felt like a cliché. The one time a woman doesn’t fall at his feet and suddenly he’s too curious about her for his own good. Though this couldn’t have been genuine interest. He was just amused by her hatred for him. This meant nothing… right?
But then he thought, since when had he cared about the people who lived in his building? Out of all the places he lived, he had never tried to get close to anyone since he knew it was only temporary. So, why was it so different now?
“Take a picture, it will last longer.” The girl recited, effectively pulling Eren out of his thoughts. She looked over at Eren, catching him in the act of staring her down. He quickly averted his gaze, facing the elevator doors as they finally opened.
“Hey, don’t mind me, Kid, I’m just trying to get to know my neighbor.” Eren said in an effort to save himself, as they both stepped into the elevator. Which seemed to work, since he noticed that Y/N rolled her eyes, the tell tale sign that she was annoyed by his actions, proving that this particular one was believable.
“Well, I’m starting to think that I know a little bit too much about you.” Y/N said, which confused Eren, as they hadn’t had a conversation that was any deeper than small talk.
For the past couple of weeks, Y/N had noticed that Eren was quite the busy man. To her dismay, she had realized that they not only shared a parking space, but they also, in fact, shared a wall. Which was only proven to her when she heard the unmistakable sound of moans filtering through the thin walls of her apartment.
It’s not like Y/N was a prude when it came to sex. She had a fair share of partners within her life. But she had never met anyonewho had been so… vocal, when it came to such an intimate experience. She herself had only let herself get so loud when she knew no one else could hear her except for the person she was with. So, it was jarring for her to hear the obvious sounds of sex coming from the other side of the room.
At first, she had thought that Eren had a girlfriend. But as they continued living as neighbors, she noticed that it was a new woman everyday, who was leaving his apartment. She didn’t know if that fact was relieving or not. But she also wondered why she cared at all. It’s not like she was interested in him or anything. He was just noticeable. Mainly because he seemed like the type of man that wanted to be noticed. And unfortunately for her, he was getting what he wanted. How couldn’t she notice when he made the women he was with sound like that.Y/N shook her head, trying to rid the thought of how good he was in bed. She registered how his features twisted with confusion.
“Did you know we share a wall?” Was all she said for an explanation, as she pressed the button for their floor. Eren’s eyes widened with realization.
“Apparently, I didn’t.” He responded. His eyes roamed over the figure of the girl beside him. From her body language he could tell that she was shy about the idea of him having sex on the other side of the wall. The thought that she was so innocent caused his stomach to churn with something unexpected. For some reason he found that this side of her was… endearing.
“Well, I hope you enjoy the show.” Eren said next. He didn’t really know why he said it. All he knew was that it would get her riled up. And apparently, he liked her when she was riled up.
“It’s not so much about meenjoying it.” Y/N said, and she didn’t have to explain the rest of her thought. Eren knew what she was alluding to. It’s as if she were daring him. Daring him to admit that he liked to be heard. That he liked to be known. Known by her. Eren looked over at her, slightly surprised that she was that bold. The way she held his stare surprised him too. He opened his mouth to send back a retort but he couldn’t find the words. Y/N took this as her cue to continue.
“Will you just keep it down? Some of us like to sleep.” She muttered, finally breaking eye contact with the man. This seemed to unfreeze him from his stupor.
“What a waste of time.” He joked, and Y/N just shook her head, unamused.
The two of them finally made it to their floor, no other words were exchanged as they journeyed down the hall to their respective apartments. His eyes followed her figure as she stopped in front of her door. Eren watched as she procured her keys from her bag, the soft jingle of metal pulled him back to reality, as he realized that he was observing her once more.
He wasn’t sure what had gotten into him, or why this girl was so interesting to him, especially when she annoyed him like no other. How many times was she going to complain about something he did? Here he was just trying to live his life and she always had something to say. But at the same time, why did he even care? Eren knew nothing about this girl. So why was he so preoccupied by what she thought of him?
Annoyance pierced through Eren’s chest as he unlocked his own door. He wasn’t sure if it was towards Y/N or himself. Maybe both. Without saying anything more to the girl that lived in the apartment next to his, he moved inside, tossing his keys in the bowl that sat on a side table next to his door. As he moved deeper into his apartment, he told himself that this was the last time where he let his thoughts wander to Y/N. She was nobody to him. He wouldn’t waste any more time on her. Eren was reassured by his promise to himself. He knew that he could go about his day, and not have to worry about the girl next door.
~
Meanwhile, Y/N was sitting at her kitchen counter. Her laptop now opened in front of her as she scrolled through the pictures that she had taken earlier this evening. Mikasa, thank god, had a successful meeting with Nanaba, and her pitch was accepted. When the writer had asked Y/N to be the photographer for her piece, Y/N was elated. How could she say no when her friend had worked so hard on this article. And now, after the interviews and photoshoots were finished, all they had to do was polish everything up.
Diving into her work, Y/N noticed that she had spent very little time worrying about her new neighbor. The only times she did think of him, was when she ran into him in the parking lot. Which… now that she thought about it, happened to be everyday. But, that really didn’t matter because as soon as she was behind her door she was back in her own little world. That was until the noises of his… endeavors would bleed through the thin walls of her room. Thus forcing his way into even the private parts of her life. It was suffocating.
Sure, it didn’t happen as often as one would consider a nuisance. But it was enough to annoy the living daylights out of her. If it were anyone else, she would turn a blind eye. Who was she to get involved into someone else’s personal life? But with Eren? For some reason it felt personal. It felt like he was trying to get a rise out of her. And maybe she was just making it up in her head, but the smirk that he gave her every time they met told her otherwise. He liked pushing her buttons, she could tell. It was only in her own determination, that kept her reactions to a minimum. Y/N didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of her obvious annoyance with him.
Thankfully, Eren was particularly quiet this afternoon. As she worked on her editing, there were little to no disturbances. Y/N was back to her normal, everyday routine without having to worry about anything other than herself. And it was all that she could have hoped for after the stressful work day she had been through.
Currently, warm water ran gentle streams down her figure as her troubles washed away through the drain. A sigh left her lips as her fingers tangled themselves in the rough mesh of her loofah, scrubbing her skin raw to cleanse herself free from her tension. Her head was empty as the soap formed bubbles at her feet. This was exactly what she needed to relax herself. She was in a state of eternal bliss when she finally exited the shower, as if she were on top of a cloud that carried her to the comfort of her bed. Before she dived into the covers that would eventually coerce her into peaceful slumber, she slipped into her usual pajamas of an oversized t-shirt.
When Y/N’s head rested on her silk pillowcase, a soft smile graced her lips. Finally, the day was over. Her tired eyelids fluttered to a close, hiding the iris of her eyes. The world around her started to fade away as sleep took over her form. She could practically see the sheep that jumped over her head. But then, her eyes shot open at the unmistakable sound of Eren through the walls.
“Fuck.”She heard him say, in a tone that was definitely notinnocent. Her hypothesis was proven right as moans quickly followed after the curse word.
Again?Y/N thought to herself as an annoyed groan left her lips. She turned over, moving deeper under her covers, grabbing a pillow to press against the ear that wasn’t pressed against the bed. She was hoping to protect herself from the inconvenience by blocking out the noise. But alas, it was to no avail, his moans were growing louder and louder. Honestly, how horny was this man that he had to do this almost every night?
At this point, Y/N was over it. Why should she let him get away with disturbing her peace? Before she knew it, her determination and anger had caused her to kick the blankets away from herself. Her feet were practically moving on their own as they brought her through her living room, out of her front door and into the hallway. She finally registered what she was doing when she placed herself in front of his front door. But by that point it was too late, her knuckles had already connected with his door with three sharp knocks.
She thought that she could get away with only that. She could go back to her apartment and hide herself there until he stopped what he was doing. Surely, he was too distracted to hear her knocking at his door at midnight and she wouldn’t have to be confronted with the sight of him, mid-coitus. Y/N turned, thinking that she could leave without having to deal with the consequences of her annoyance finally getting to her. But as she did the door swung open.
Her eyes widened at the sight of him. He was shirtless. Y/N gulped as her eyes wandered the surface of his chiseled upper body, it was glistening with sweat that was obviously there due to his exerted energy. His gray sweats hung low on his hips, accentuating the deep v-line that directed towards his—
Y/N’s eyes snapped up to his face, his attractive features twisted with annoyance, clearly bothered by her presence.
“Can I help you?” He asked, leaning against his door frame, crossing his muscular forearms across his chest. Y/N straightened her back, determined not to get distracted by his stupid good looks. Since she was already here, standing at his door, might as well get what she wanted.
“Did you forget that we shared a wall? Or do my sentences just go one ear and out the other?” Y/N asked, crossing her own arms. Eren stifled a laugh at her disgruntled expression. She was kind of cute when she was angry… The man shook the thought from his mind. No way did he just call her cute when she was disrupting his night. Eren hardened his features as he tried to register what she was saying.
“I’m sorry… What are you talking about?” He finally responded, needing more clarification to what she was complaining about this time.
“Look, I’m glad you’re getting some, I’m sure the stress relief makes you far less of an asshole than you already are.” She told him, and Eren’s mouth quirked up into an amused half-smile at the mention of sex. “But will you and whatever girl you’re with this time, pleasekeep it down, I’ve had a hard enough day as it is without you ruining my sleep.”
Eren tilted his head as he mulled over her words. ‘The girl you’re with’ is what she had said. Which was terribly funny, taking into account that he wasn’t with a girl since he wastrying to be considerate about what she had said earlier. Though without his usual hook-up for the evening he was in desperate need of some release, so he had settled for his hand for the night. Eren had found it quite interesting that she was that in tune with the sounds of his pleasure. In fact, it excited him a little. And since sex was currently on his mind, due to the fact that his cock was in the palm of his hand literally a minute ago, his horniness distracted him from his annoyance. And it wasn’t helping that Y/N was clad in only a gray t-shirt with the emblem of what was most likely the university she graduated from, the soft skin of her thighs on full display.
“Okay, I’ll keep it down.” Eren nodded, and Y/N let out a breath of relief, thinking that this conversation was finally over. But he wouldn’t let her get away. It seemed like she had forgotten. Big. Red. Button. Eren was going to push it. “But, I’ll have you know that there isn’t anybody with me.”
Y/N had begun to turn back to her door, but his words had instantly ceased all movement in her body. He was creating all that noise by himself?Y/N swallowed at the lump that was forming in her throat. Her skin was heating up at the mention of what he did during his own time, but she couldn’t let him get to her. She turned to face him to find a mischievous smirk playing across his features. Realization hit Y/N at that moment, he was trying to tease her. Annoyance caused her to grit her teeth, mostly at herself, since she couldn’t let him have the last word. She willed herself to stop her mouth from moving, but nevertheless Eren got his way, earning a reaction from the girl.
“Off your game, Jaeger?” She asked, calling him by the last name she had inadvertently learned throughout their time of knowing each other. She inwardly cursed at herself for not thinking of anything more clever than that, as Eren’s smirk still stayed plastered on his face.
“Nope,” He said, simply, popping the ‘p’. He rested his head against the door frame, his eyelids hooded as he looked down at her. Y/N felt vulnerable under his gaze. “I just found something new to… pique my interests.”
It was almost immediate, her reaction to his words. It was as if her whole body had erupted into flames right then and there in that hallway. And Eren obviously took notice of this as his grin grew wider. Y/N’s cheeks were flushed from her embarrassment, she crossed her arms over her chest as if Eren had x-ray eyes and could see right through her. Which he wouldn’t even need since her reaction to his words revealed everything she was thinking. The worst part was, he didn’t even say specifically if he meant her. But it almost felt like he did. And now he had irrevocably made her a fool. Y/N hated how good at this he was.
She scowled up at his amused features, “Can you please just be quiet? I’d like to get some sleep without you triggering my gag reflex.”
“Mm, now that’s a thought that’ll keep me going.” Eren responded slyly. His tone of voice was husky and Y/N scoffed at his innuendo.
“Whatever.” She retorted, turning back towards her apartment. “I’m going to bed.”
“Sweet dreams, Kid.” Was the last thing she heard before her door was fully shut behind her, making Eren triumphant in having the last word.
~
Y/N’s hands immediately found her cheeks in an effort to subside the heat that had rushed to her face. Her back was flush up against her front door as she tried to control her breathing, and she was pissed that Eren had this effect on her. The girl slapped at her cheeks, hoping that the self-inflicted pain would replace the creeping feeling of her own arousal. She didn’t want to let this man affect the inner-workings of her vagina. So she ignored the ache that had presented itself the moment she saw Eren in all of his half-naked, sweaty glory, and proceeded back to her bedroom.
Her blankets welcomed her with the warmth that her body had left behind. She sank further into her bed, trying to conjure up the pure innocent image of sheep that had almost drifted her off into dreamland earlier that night. But as she clenched her eyes shut, the soft cream-color of their wool had morphed and shifted into the blinding white of Eren’s teasing grin. And that came attached with the body that was leaning against his door frame. And in the quiet solitude of her mind she couldn’t help but allow herself to recall the sight of him in his sweats. The deep V that pointed directly to his cock that was still slightly hardened from the actions he was committing against himself.
Y/N could hardly believe that he opened the door in that state. But somewhere in the pit of the stomach she was grateful for the image. Another fact she could hardly believe. However, even if she didn’t believe it, that didn’t stop the way her thighs were slowly starting to rub against one another, the sheets soft against her skin as they contorted with the movement of her body. She rolled over onto her stomach, hugging her pillow underneath her head, willing her body to stop moving.
But this new position had offered her something firm underneath her, and subconsciously her hips started rolling against the surface of her mattress. A sigh left her lips at the delicious new form of friction. And with her own aural confirmation to her pleasure, it finally hit her what she was doing. She parted her legs, hoping that would stop her from squeezing her thighs together. But that only made the slick in her panties more obvious as the cool night air hit her center. And the space that now resided between her legs left room for imagination. A spot where someone could fit so perfectly. Where Erencould fit so perfectly.
Eren.
Eren!?
And at the exact same moment, as if he knew that her thoughts would always lead to him, another soft moan seeped its way through her paper thin walls. A whimper soon followed and that instantly brought forth an ache of arousal that shot through her whole entire body like electricity. A shuddering breath escaped her lips as Eren so clearly ignored her pleas to stay quiet and his moans grew louder. But now… now that Y/N knew that he was alone. That he was whimpering and begging for the touch of his very own hand, the night had taken a very drastic turn for the girl.
Images of Eren in his bed shoved its way to the forefront of her mind. She pictured him, with his back against their shared wall, mere inches away from Y/N, with his hand wrapped firmly around his dripping cock. He was probably moving at a slow and steady pace, teasing himself because he seemed like the type of man to take his time and to relish in all of the pleasure he was giving himself.
A dull thud could be heard against the plaster, and immediately the thought of Eren with his head thrown back on the wall behind him had found the girl. It was like she was watching him right now, she could see how his adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as he finally moved at a faster pace, his precum leaking out over his fingers as he did. More curses escaped past his lips and Y/N was now squirming in her sheets. Her own hand slowly carving between the mattress and her stomach, moving closer and closer to where she needed it.
Her hand was inching downwards at a snail’s pace, her mind clouded with arousal, but also with the moral dilemma of masturbating to the sounds of her neighbor doing the same. It felt wrong, so wrong to the point where it was exciting. And the feel of her own hand burning through the fabric of her t-shirt was slowly releasing all of her inhibitions. Her tribulations subsided the moment her fingertips dipped beneath the elastic band of her panties. And at that point there was no stopping what she was about to commit.
Almost immediately her hand had found her aching clit and a small whimper left her form from the icy touch of her own fingers. The contrast between the coolness of her digits and the heat of her arousal brought forth a strange sense of satisfaction as she began to rub slow circles into the bundle of nerves. Finally touching herself felt like a dam breaking as sexual gratification took over her form.
She dipped her fingers even lower, being met with her wetness that had been accumulating this whole time. A gasp of surprise had rippled through her, because never in her life had she ever been this wet. It was like dipping her fingers into melting wax, it poured over the entirety of her fingers and when she brought it back up to her clit, she had to hold back the moan that was trying to force its way out of her throat. She wouldn’t let it. She didn’t want to give Eren the satisfaction.
Right now she was only concerned with her own pleasure as she started to grind against her hand. Her hips were moving at an eager pace that would be embarrassing if anyone ever saw her in this state of desperation. But then the man on the other side of the wall let out another harsh curse, and she thought of how it would feel to be under his gaze right now.
In the deepest, darkest corner of her mind she conjured up the image of him, not on his own bed, but standing in the doorway of her room. His eyes would most likely be darkened with lust. He would watch how she fucked herself with her own fingers. He would probably look at her with that stupid fucking teasing smirk of his, and then say something cocky. But instead of annoying Y/N like it usually would, it would bring forth a surge of excitement.
Because she knew that after he spoke his words, he would cross that room at a tortuously slow pace. He would crawl over her form until his front was flush against her back. She arched up into nothingness, but somehow her imagination was so vivid she could practically feel his hard cock pressed into her ass. And then it would be his own hand traveling between her body and the mattress, and it would be his fingers that replaced her own, rubbing tantalizing circles on her clit. He would grind his erection against her ass, he would leave searing kisses on the back of her neck. The thought had her edging closer and closer to her sweet release—
Another loud and forceful moan filtered its way into her room, forcing Y/N’s daydream away. This time it was louder and more provocative than before, and Y/N was certain that Eren was cumming. His moans were more desperate.
The interruption of her daydream did nothing to stop her pleasure. Instead, knowing that he was in that room— his bare chest probably covered in his own cum, had the girl tipping over the edge. Her legs started to shake as her own orgasm rolled through her. She felt as her own release pooled in her panties, effectively ruining them since she forgot to remove them in her haste. Heavy breaths filtered through her nose as she bit down on her pillow, trying hard not to let her moans escape.
And as she slowly came down from her high, she wondered what Eren was thinking of when he finally came. Probably one of the many conquests he brought home. The girl felt foolish that she just came at the sound of his pleasure, when she probably didn’t even cross his mind.
Little did she know, on the other side of the wall, as Eren wiped his cum from his chest with a discarded t-shirt, his mind was reeling from the fact that he just came because of the conjured up image of him fucking the girl next door.
~~~
A/N: So obviously this escalated really quickly… let’s see how they both handle this new underlying factor to their relationship ;). I hope you enjoyed! And as always please feel free to message me :)
Summary:The reader is used to her usual routine. A routine she found comfort in. But suddenly that all changes by the sight of a big shiny motorcycle parked in her spot.
A/N: Hellooo everybody!! it’s finally time for Love Thy Neighbor lol. This fic was inspired by true events when a stupid motorcycle would not stop parking in my spot, blocking my moped in. For me it ended with an annoyance that didn’t stop until I moved away. For you it ends with Eren :) I hope you enjoyyyy :)) (Also will most likely be posting either tuesdays or wednesdays, depending how fast I get the chapters done)
Chapter 1
There comes a time in the early morning where the sun is much brighter than people normally assume. Usually, when people think of those who wake up in the wee hours of the morning, they imagine they wake up before the sun. When the sky is barely lit in an array of colors that only come when the sun is just peaking through the horizon. And sure, there are those who wake up when it’s still dark outside. But most of the population stays asleep until the sun is high in the sky, waking up at a reasonable time, starting their day on the right foot.
And then there are those who wake up in between. When the sky is no longer dark, though it is still far too early for comfort. Y/N Y/L/N, was unfortunately, one of the in-betweeners. It was unfortunate, because it was definitely not by choice.
Every morning, Y/N was woken up by beams of sunlight that streamed through her window, stirring her awake by kissing her face like a lover would. Though, in her opinion, it was far less romantic as the heat punctured her skin. This morning wasn’t any different than all the others as she clenched her eyes shut, trying to give herself a few more minutes of precious sleep. She turned over on her side, trying to escape the inevitable sunlight. A small whine left her lips as she settled deeper under her duvet. She knew she had a couple hours before she had to go to work, and she so desperately wanted those hours of sleep. But it was no use. She was awake, which meant she had to start her day.
Y/N kicked the blankets away from her before rolling out of the comfort of her bed. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she begrudgingly left her bedroom. As she stood on the precipice of her living room, she stopped. For just a single second she took a moment to just breathe. And then, in the next second, just like she did every morning, she fell into her daily routine. Coffee, shower, breakfast, wash, rinse, repeat. Every single day is just the same as the last. Y/N didn’t mind the little routine that she had for herself. In fact she quite enjoyed it. Over the years she has perfected her daily rituals and she wouldn’t have it any other way. She wasn’t sure if she liked change and so far she hasn’t had the misfortune of running into it. That was until a few hours later when she was finally heading to work and she made her way into the parking garage, she noticed that for the first time something did, in fact, change.
It wasn’t a small change that could go unnoticed like fresh paint over the lines that indicated the parking spaces or the flickering light in the right corner of the garage finally being swapped out with a new bulb, (which has yet to happen to Y/N’s dismay). It was a big, monumental, noticeable change. The reason being was that it directly affected the girl and her routine.
She stood in front of her parking space with a look of indignation across her features. Right at the end of her spot, effectively blocking in her precious cream colored vespa, was a big, ugly motorcycle. Well, that was a bit harsh, considering it wasn’t the vehicle’s fault it was parked in front of her form of transportation. The motorcycle was actually quite nice, it was sleek and all black and was most likely very expensive. The problem was its owner, who was unknown. But with this stunt, Y/N knew enough to know that they were decidedly inconsiderate. Who in their right mind, with any sense of moral code, would block someone into their parking spot? Though as it turned out, Y/N didn’t have time to investigate the matter. Looking at her phone, she saw the time and after seeing that she would most definitely be late to work, she sighed, realizing she didn’t have a choice. Looking at the positioning of this person’s motorcycle, she discovered that it was possible to get her moped out of its spot. But this did make her life harder than it needed to be.
After maneuvering around the bike, she placed her camera bag into the basket that sat on the back of her moped, locking it up so she knew it was safe. Y/N then removed the chain from her back wheel, placing it in the compartment that sat under her seat. When she finally swung her leg over the vehicle, determination settled over her form as she faced her unexpected problem.
Luckily, getting her moped past the obstacle took a lot less time than expected and she got away without scratching the car to her right. And after her frustrations were behind her with the wind whipping through her hair as she drove to work, her anger started to subside. No use crying over spilt milk. Y/N told herself. Besides, it was probably a one time thing. The motorcycle will be gone by tomorrow and she can go on living.
At least that’s what she thought, until the same thing happened the next day. And the day after that. And the day after that. The first time, when Y/N returned home the motorcycle was gone and she thought it was over. But lo and behold, when she went downstairs to head to work the next morning her good mood was immediately shot when the motorcycle was back in its place, blocking her in. And now it’s a common occurrence. And the anger that escaped her on that very first day was now back in full force.
It has now been a full week of this disturbance and Y/N was at the end of her rope. She stormed into the office, ignoring the weird glances that her coworkers sent her from behind their laptops. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with any of them, writers were a pretentious bunch. Y/N pressed on until she was finally able to flop down in her chair, throwing her head in her hands.
“Well, aren’t you a ray of sunshine.”
Y/N peaked up from between her fingers to find her coworker and very good friend, Mikasa Ackerman, leaning up against her desk. She looked very professional in her pinstripe pantsuit, which she was probably wearing due to her pitch meeting later in the day. Or else she would have been adorned in her more casual clothing. Y/N felt grateful she didn’t have any important meetings today, life was far more comfortable when she was allowed to wear what she wanted. Which today happened to be a simple ensemble of blue jeans and a simple white tee.
“Don’t even start.” She groaned, shifting her arms so that she could rest her head on her forearms.
“Woah, what’s got you all riled up?” Mikasa asked.
“Is it the motorcycle, again?” Another voice chimed in, most likely coming from their friend Historia Reiss who twisted her chair around from her desk in front of Y/N’s. The girl just responded with an annoyed grunt that was muffled from the fabric of her cardigan. This was all the confirmation Historia needed for her to roll her chair closer to Y/N’s desk, reaching over to pat her on the back with soft affection. Y/N accepted the comfort, relaxing under her friend’s touch.
“What motorcycle?” Mikasa asked, looking over at Historia, quizzically.
“Someone has been blocking Y/N’s moped from leaving her parking space.” Historia explained.
“At her apartment?” the raven haired girl questioned, Y/N lifted her head to nod.
“I’m sorry, how is this a big deal?”
“It’s not!” Y/N agreed, though she felt like she needed to explain her frustrations, “But it’s been happening everyday. And I guess I have the room for their bike in my spot but it’s the principle of the matter! It’s myspot. It came with the apartment.”
“Why don’t you just leave a note?” Historia offered, but her two friends knew what her answer was going to be. Y/N shifted awkwardly in her seat, looking down at her shoes so she didn’t have to look at their faces when she answered.
“I don’t want to deal with the confrontation.” She explained, and her two friends groaned at her lack of backbone.
“Y/N, you have to start standing up for yourself!” Historia told her, and coming from anyone else that sentence probably would have come out a lot harsher. But the small blonde was practically a reincarnated angel, and her voice was filled with only concern for her friend. Y/N bit her lip as she contemplated Historia’s words.
“I mean, maybe it’s not so bad?” Y/N eventually said, “I’ve been able to live with it for a week now, maybe I should just accept it.”
“You were just complaining about how much you hate it.” Mikasa pointed out, and Y/N cursed herself for confiding in her friends. “You can’t keep letting people walk all over you.”
Y/N deflated when she realized her friends were right. She did have a tendency to put other people’s happiness before her own. That was definitely one of her worst traits. Flashbacks of shitty ex-boyfriends to the mean girls at school flitted through her mind. Y/N didn’t know why she let those people take advantage of her. But what she did know was that she was tired of letting this happen. At that moment, she decided this time would be different.
“You know what?” Y/N suddenly said, gaining the attention of her friends, “You guys are right, this is going to stop. Today.”
“Atta girl.” Mikasa grinned, clapping Y/N on her shoulder with her slender hand. Historia beamed at Y/N from the other side of the desk.
“We believe in you.” Historia said, grabbing Y/N’s hand and squeezing. Warmth spread throughout Y/N’s chest from her friends’ support.
“Thanks.” Y/N smiled softly, “But enough about me. Are you ready for your pitch, Mikasa?”
Y/N turned towards her well-dressed friend and caught her rolling her eyes. She fiddled with the pens that sat in a mug on Y/N’s desk as she answered.
“I swear to god, if Nanaba rejects anotherone of my articles, I might quit.”
“Oh, don’t joke around like that!” Historia scolded, “Sonder wouldn’t be the same without you.”
Sonderwas the local magazine that the three of them worked for. Named after the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own. When Y/N first heard that definition she immediately fell in love. The magazine revolved around telling the stories of the voices that were left unheard. It specialized in fashion, music, culture and everything in between. However it wasn’t the content of the magazine that brought it to her attention. Y/N was drawn to this magazine because of its aesthetic. Sonderfirst caught her eye when she was in line at the grocery store and the stark contrast of its cover next to its competitors was enough to pique her interest. The magazine had no flashy taglines or before and after pictures of random celebrities that she didn’t even know the name of. All it sported was the name of the magazine and a black and white picture of a girl with thick dark braids, the look on her face was powerful and the emotions it elicited from Y/N was enough for her to want to be part of this art. She thought that her photography would be the perfect fit for this magazine. And a few months later, after she sent in her portfolio, it turned out that they thought so too and offered her a job.
Mikasa was actually the first writer she was paired with. The two of them were sent to interview a new up and coming band and while they were there they became fast friends. She met Historia later that week. She was one of the editors for the magazine, and she was working with Mikasa on her latest article. Soon enough, the three of them became inseparable.
“She keeps giving me the puff pieces.” Mikasa groaned, “I’m sick of puff, I’ll throw up if I hear that word one more time.”
“Puff.” Y/N said nonchalantly as she placed her bag on her desk, though she broke out in laughter when Mikasa groaned and lightly hit her shoulder with the back of her hand.
“I’m sure Nanaba will come around this time.” Historia then said, ignoring the violence that occured, “You’ve done great research for this article, she’ll see how hard you’ve been working.”
“She better.” Mikasa grumbled.
“She will.” Y/N reassured as she finally started unpacking her things. Pulling out her camera to edit the latest photo set she had been working on. Her friends took this as their cue to get back to their own work, and as Mikasa left her desk, Y/N and Historia offered her good luck before turning to their respective assignments.
The day went on as usual. Y/N poured herself into her work. Which wasn’t hard to do considering she loved what she did. Spending time working on her photography was just what she needed to get her problem at home out of her head. In fact, the motorcycle that has wreaked havoc on her life hadn’t crossed her mind all day. By the time she finished her assignments, all she was thinking about was going home and crawling into bed. The only thing standing between that was the fifteen minute drive back to her apartment.
Luckily, the journey went by swiftly, and when she returned to her apartment, the sight of her empty parking spot was a reminder to the issue at hand. She decided right then and there that she would write out a note tonight and tape it to the random motorcycle tomorrow morning. But then as she was bent over, locking her chain around the wheel of her moped, the loud sound of an engine roaring came from behind her.
Y/N stood from where she was and when she turned, right before her eyes was the culprit of her dismay. Just like his bike, this man was wearing all black. His face was covered by his helmet, a leather jacket adorned his broad shoulders. The mystery man pulled up into her spot, cutting his engine before he swung his long leg over his bike. Without sparing a glance at the girl, he turned to walk away, not even bothering to lock up his vehicle. As he walked towards the entrance of the building, he took off his helmet to reveal his long brunette hair, tied up in a bun, most likely to keep it out of his face as he drove. Y/N was frozen with shock. The audacity of this man to not even acknowledge her had her blood boiling. She thought back to her earlier conversation with her friends and decided she couldn’t let him get away with this.
“Excuse me!” She called after him, but either he didn’t hear her or he pretended not to, because he didn’t turn around. Y/N quickened her pace catching up with him before he headed inside.
“Excuse me.” She repeated, pulling at his shoulder which effectively caught his attention. He finally turned to look at her and when he did she had to stop herself from choking on her words. As it turned out, the person who was complicating her life was far more attractive than she expected. His teal eyes burned into her with a bored expression as he slowly looked her up and down.
“You’re excused.” He said simply, his voice was deeper than expected. Most people would probably be hypnotized by his 40 hertz voice, but his rude demeanor cut through Y/N like a knife. Her mouth dropped with offense as he brushed past her.
“What?” She said to herself incredulously, she couldn’t believe his audacity. Y/N shook her head, going after him once more. She caught him as he was waiting for the elevator.
“That’s my spot.” Y/N declared, placing herself in front of him so he was forced to look at her. He raised an eyebrow at her.
“What are you talking about?” The man asked. And Y/N was a tad embarrassed that she obviously cared about this a little too much. Nevertheless, she persisted.
“You keep parking in my spot.” She told him, “You block me in and it’s extremely rude.”
The man stared at her with an overturned smirk, and she would’ve given him points for at least trying to hold back his laughter. But soon enough the deep sound of his laughter rumbled out from his chest.
“What’s so funny?” Y/N questioned, crossing her arms.
“I just think it’s funny that you’re calling me rude when you’re the one who manhandled me in the parking lot.” He grinned, shaking his head.
“I would hardly say that was manhandling!” Y/N defended, “You were ignoring me, what else was I supposed to do?”
“I don’t know, maybe talk to me like a normal human being?” He responded, and Y/N could have screamed with how frustrating this man was.
“I tried to, but you didn’t even give me a chance when you brushed me off.” She said instead. The man simply shrugged. A ding sounded out into the lobby, indicating that the elevator had arrived.
“I don’t take kindly to strangers.” He said as he stepped around her, moving into the elevator. Y/N followed after him and placed herself in front of the buttons so he couldn’t get to his floor. He was now obviously annoyed by her as he huffed air out from between his lips. She didn’t really care though. It served him right, considering he has been annoying her for the past week.
“Can you please just move your bike out of my parking spot and then this could all be over.” Y/N told him.
“Yourspot?” He questioned, “I thought that was a spot dedicated for two-wheelers.”
“What? No, It’s mine. It was assigned to me when I moved in.” Y/N told him.
“That’s not what Hannes told me.” He said, matter-of-factly. Y/N’s eyebrows pulled together at the mention of their landlord.
“What did Hannes tell you?”
“That I could park there.” He answered with a shrug.
“You’re lying.” She replied, narrowing her eyes at him.
“Scouts Honor.” He defended, holding up the hand gesture to prove it. Though he did not seem to be the type of man who was ever a boy scout. She scowled at him and his grin grew wider as he paired it with a sly wink.
“We’re clearing this up with Hannes right now.” Y/N demanded, turning around so she could press the button to the first floor. The man behind her threw his head back with a groan. He most likely just wanted to go back to his apartment so he could get away from her but she wasn’t going to let that happen any time soon.
The elevator creaked as it stirred back to life. Neither one of them said a word as it slowly started to move upwards. Luckily, since the trip was a short one, there wasn’t much time for the awkward tension to settle. When the doors opened, Y/N positioned herself behind the unnamed man and pushed him out of the small room. She didn’t want to risk his escape.
The door to Hannes office sat right across the hall from the elevator, so it didn’t take long for Y/N’s hand to find the solid wood of his door and knock three times. A muffled thud sounded out from behind the door and after a few more moments of rustling, it finally opened to reveal the older man, his usual happy-go-lucky smile already gracing his features.
“Y/N! To what do I owe the pleasure?” The man boomed, Y/N flinched since the decibel this man could reach always caught her off guard. She opened her mouth to explain, but then the blonde man’s eyes wandered over to her unlikely companion.
“I see that you’ve met our newest resident.” He grinned, “How’ve you been, Eren? Are you settling in nicely?”
“I am, sir. The apartment is really nice.” The man, who’s name was apparently Eren, responded. Y/N sent him a pointed glare. So he did have the ability to be polite. It just turned out she didn’t deserve his kindness. She rolled her eyes as the two men continued.
“I’m glad to hear that!” Hannes said, “Is Y/N here giving you the grand tour?”
Eren glanced down at the girl beside him. So her name was Y/N. At least, now he had a name for the girl who was annoying him endlessly. She really put a damper on his day to say the least. All he wanted to do was get back to his apartment and try out the game demo his coworker had sent him. But now here he was being dragged around the apartment building by this woman.
“Actually, we’re here to talk about my parking spot.” Y/N interrupted before Eren could answer Hannes’ question.
“Oh?” The older gentleman responded, “What’s the issue?”
“Well,Erenhas been parking in my spot. It makes it difficult for me to leave.” She explained, she said his name with a hint of disdain and Eren rolled his eyes at her tone. Though, Hannes didn’t notice any of the hostility, he just looked between the two with his usual casual demeanor.
“Yeah, I said it was okay.” Hannes agreed, and Y/N felt her frustration come back in full force. The man beside her smirked as he was proven right.
“I’m sorry, I feel like I should have been part of this conversation.” She said, trying to keep her tone positive.
“Oh, well, I told Eren to talk to you about it.” Hannes told her, and Y/N could’ve strangled the man next to her for neglecting to tell her that part. Which also meant he was lying to her when he said that he thought the spot was free reign. This guy just keeps getting worse. “I assumed you said it was okay once I noticed his motorcycle in your spot.”
“I guess it must have slipped his mind, because he never came to talk to me about it.” Y/N said, looking over at Eren with an accusatory glare.
“You didn’t ask her to share her space?” Hannes looked towards Eren.
“You never gave me her information, sir.” Eren replied, and Hannes smacked his hand over his forehead.
“I completely forgot!” He exclaimed, “I’m so sorry, this is my fault.”
“So is there anywhere else for him to park?” Y/N asked, hope was rising in her chest. Maybe to make up for his mistake he will sort this whole thing out. Y/N could see the light at the end of the tunnel, and she will never have to deal with this jackass ever again.
“About that…” Hannes trailed off, and suddenly the fragile bit of hope that Y/N was holding in her hands withered away. “As it turns out, we don’t have enough parking spaces to give Eren his own. And since all you have is a moped I told him that you had the room to spare… Is that alright?”
Y/N wanted to tell him no. That was her spot, it has been ever since she moved in two years ago. And even though she didn’t even pay extra for the spot, she still had her claim over it. If they had come to ask her when he first moved in then maybe she would have said yes. But now that she knew that this guy was a total dick she had no interest in sharing anythingwith him. Even so, she felt like she couldn’t argue with them. Her shoulders fell with defeat. Her friends would be disappointed.
“I guess it is.” She sighed, running a hand over her hair. The man beside her perked up, obviously loving that he won this battle.
“Great! I’m glad we cleared that up.” Hannes beamed, clapping his hand on her shoulder. Y/N stiffened under his touch, she didn’t think she’d ever get used to Hannes overbearing friendliness. She looked over at Eren who glanced at her quickly before holding his hand out to the blonde man in front of him. Hannes grinned at his outstretched hand and removed his own from the girl’s shoulder to give him a vigorous handshake. Y/N thought it was out of place to shake someone’s hand after such a quick conversation but she was honestly relieved that the older man wasn’t touching her any more.
“Thank you, sir, sorry for taking up your time.” Eren said, and Hannes just waved him off telling him it was no problem. They all said their goodbyes and Hannes’ office door swung close, leaving Y/N alone with the stranger she had to share her parking spot with.
“Well, I guess that’s that.” Eren said, happily, clapping his hands like it was a done deal. Y/N glared at the tall man in front of her.
“You’re the worst.” She mumbled, turning towards the elevator and pressing the button so she could finally get away from this man.
“Is that any way to treat your parking space buddy?” He grinned, placing himself next to her as they waited for the doors to open. Y/N didn’t say anything, she just crossed her arms and stared ahead.
“Now you’re ignoring me.” He pointed out, and yet again, she stayed silent.
“You know, you’re a lot like a little kid.” Eren observed, and this got Y/N’s attention as her head snapped towards him.
“What? No I’m not.” She argued, slightly offended that he was jumping to these conclusions about her without even knowing her.
“Sure you are.” He shrugged, “You get all upset when things don’t go your way.”
“I’m not upset.” She countered, eliciting a snort of disbelief from Eren. “I’m just shocked at how inconsiderate you are.”
“Oh come on, Kid, I thought it was alright that I was parking there. You never left a note or anything. And besides… sharing is caring right?”
“… Kid?” She repeated, not paying attention to any other part of his sentence.
“It suits you, don’t you think?” Eren grinned at her, to which she just scoffed. The elevator doors finally slid open, the two of them filed inside.
“Whatever,” The girl said, she turned towards the buttons, “What floor are you on?”
“Seven.”
Y/N stilled, her hand hovering over the buttons. “No you aren’t.”
“Um, yes I am?” Eren said, stepping closer to her so he could press the button himself. The heat that he radiated washed over her form, but she didn’t register his proximity. She just stood there in shock as he did.
“ButI live on floor seven.” She said, regaining the use of her vocal chords as the elevator started moving. Eren raised an eyebrow.
“You do know that there’s more than one apartment on each floor, right?” He teased, leaning against the bar that wrapped around the whole of the elevator. Y/N gifted him an annoyed expression.
“I just mean that I didn’t even notice that you moved in.” Y/N explained.
“I don’t have a lot of things.” Eren told her, “It was quick.”
Y/N found his explanation to be a bit strange. She wondered how little he had if he was able to move into a whole entire apartment without her noticing. For some reason, it made him seem untouchable. As if him not having worldly possessions made it harder for anyone to pin him down.
Not that she wanted him to stick around. In fact, the thought of him leaving just as quickly as he came sounded pretty nice right about now. She’s only known him for half an hour and she already knew she preferred an Eren-free life.
“Look, I won’t bother you more than I have to.” He spoke up, as if he were reading her mind. “We’ll share the parking space and that’s it, you won’t ever see me around here. I like to keep to myself.”
“Wow, how generous.” Y/N replied sarcastically, hating how it sounded like hewas the one who had to give up the parking space. “And don’t worry about me. I’m already planning on never speaking to you again.”
“Oh? Okay, good.” Eren responded, his tone was slightly unsure, as he followed Y/N out into the hallway when they finally made it to their floor.
“Great.” Y/N said, and then she expected him to turn down to the opposite side of the building. But when he kept going in the same direction, she quickly became unsettled. She tried to ignore him as he silently walked behind her but his presence seemed to be suffocating.
Y/N stopped at her door, and she was relieved he kept walking, meaning that he wasn’t following her like she feared. But then he only moved a couple feet before stopping at the apartment right next to hers.
The two of them looked at each other from their respective doors. A scowl fell over Y/N’s features while a smirk graced the man beside her.
“This might be a lot harder than we thought, Kid.” Was all he said before disappearing into his apartment, leaving her alone in the hallway.
~
Y/N had decided that she officially hated change. She liked having a routine and she liked to know that everything would be the same. It kept her safe. And she didn’t have to worry about unexpected surprises out of her everyday life. She thought that it made life easier. Things were simple for her. But now, only after one day of knowing Eren, she felt it happen. Change was inevitable. And it was staring her right in the face.
She stood in front of her parking space as another slight change graced her life. When she went to unchain her moped, Eren’s motorcycle was now resting up against the wall that sat on the left side of her parking space, giving her more than enough room to leave. She was shocked that Eren was more considerate than their first encounter made him out to be. And for some reason this scared her. Because right in front of her was proof that her philosophy of hating change wasn’t as concrete as it had been. Because maybe some changes, no matter how small, were good.
~~~
A/N: Okayyyy a little warm up chapter, not much happens in this except for them meeting. I’m just realizing now that it has a pretty drastic change in tempo in the next chapter lol. So this won’t be a slow burn, but it’s fun nonetheless!!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! feel free to send a message :))
A/N: Hiiii everyone!! So as you all know this fic was a long time coming, and somewhere a long the way I lost motivation to write this one. But now that I’m back to writing for it, I’m actually really excited for you guys to read it. So obviously I can’t hold back and thought that I’d post a snippet from Chapter 1. I Hope you guys love this fic as much as I already do. And keep an eye out for the first Chapter, I should be posting it sometime this week :)))
“You know, you’re a lot like a little kid.” Eren observed, and this got Y/N’s attention as her head snapped towards him.
“What? No I’m not.” She argued, slightly offended that he was jumping to these conclusions about her without even knowing her.
“Sure you are.” He shrugged, “You get all upset when things don’t go your way.”
“I’m not upset.” She countered, eliciting a snort of disbelief from Eren. “I’m just shocked at how inconsiderate you are.”
“Oh come on, Kid, I thought it was alright that I was parking there. You never left a note or anything. And besides… sharing is caring right?”
“… Kid?” She repeated, not paying attention to any other part of his sentence.
“It suits you, don’t you think?” Eren grinned at her, to which she just scoffed. The elevator doors finally slid open, the two of them filed inside.
“Whatever,” The girl said, she turned towards the buttons, “What floor are you on?”
“Seven.”
Y/N stilled, her hand hovering over the buttons. “No you aren’t.”
“Um, yes I am?” Eren said, stepping closer to her so he could press the button himself. The heat that he radiated washed over her form, but she didn’t register his proximity. She just stood there in shock as he did.
“ButI live on floor seven.” She said, regaining the use of her vocal chords as the elevator started moving. Eren raised an eyebrow.
“You do know that there’s more than one apartment on each floor, right?” He teased, leaning against the bar that wrapped around the whole of the elevator. Y/N gifted him an annoyed expression.
“I just mean that I didn’t even notice that you moved in.” Y/N explained.
“I don’t have a lot of things.” Eren told her, “It was quick.”
Y/N found his explanation to be a bit strange. She wondered how little he had if he was able to move into a whole entire apartment without her noticing. For some reason, it made him seem untouchable. As if him not having worldly possessions made it harder for anyone to pin him down.
Not that she wanted him to stick around. In fact, the thought of him leaving just as quickly as he came sounded pretty nice right about now. She’s only known him for half an hour and she already knew she preferred an Eren-free life.
“Look, I won’t bother you more than I have to.” He spoke up, as if he were reading her mind. “We’ll share the parking space and that’s it, you won’t ever see me around here. I like to keep to myself.”
“Wow, how generous.” Y/N replied sarcastically, hating how it sounded like hewas the one who had to give up the parking space. “And don’t worry about me. I’m already planning on never speaking to you again.”
“Oh? Okay, good.” Eren responded, his tone was slightly unsure, as he followed Y/N out into the hallway when they finally made it to their floor.
“Great.” Y/N said, and then she expected him to turn down to the opposite side of the building. But when he kept going in the same direction, she quickly became unsettled. She tried to ignore him as he silently walked behind her but his presence seemed to be suffocating.
Y/N stopped at her door, and she was relieved he kept walking, meaning that he wasn’t following her like she feared. But then he only moved a couple feet before stopping at the apartment right next to hers.
The two of them looked at each other from their respective doors. A scowl fell over Y/N’s features while a smirk graced the man beside her.
“This might be a lot harder than we thought, Kid.” Was all he said before disappearing into his apartment, leaving her alone in the hallway.
~~~
A/N: Okay!!! this is obviously from the time where they first meet, I promise you that it gets much more exciting hehehe but I hope you enjoyed this snippet!! Please let me know if you want to be on the taglist!!!
Genre: War AU, Angst, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn
Summary: Would you love someone if your days are numbered? A tragic love story between a soldier who’s trying to find a purpose in life and a blind girl who is stripped away of her freedom.
Content Warnings: Graphic description of death and murder, sexual assault on women, oppression, physical abuse, alcohol consumption, swearing.
A twenty-one-year-old boy, with eyes greener than the forest under the blazing sun, choked on his alcohol. It was his fifth time drinking one, but he never did it out of his own desire. Being a new soldier in the Marleyan army meant that he had to obey what his seniors ordered him to do. Whether it was to lay his weapon on his shoulder and chug on a bottle of vodka during duty, or behead a prisoner and watch their blood drenching the snow. The young soldier never had an option.
A soldier should not ask questions even when they are dying from curiosity. He had learned it the hard way during training. That was why he always pretended like he understood—andaccepted—everything that was happening around him. That was just how the world naturally worked. The world was cruel. There was no beauty in it. Only those who had tossed away their hearts and conscience could survive. Have a heart and you’ll die before the next sunrise, that was what he was taught during his first month of service.
The dark brown-haired boy, known by the name Eren Kruger, rubbed his nape. He had his shoulder-length hair cut short ever since he joined the army, giving him a fresh undercut look that failed to protect his nape from the winter breeze. His skin was sun-kissed but crimson still painted the tips of his ears, a sign that his body was sensitive to cold, even when he was dressed warmly in a thick beige coat—a Marleyan uniform that he wore with a proud look on his face and shame in his chest. Kruger was not his real surname but it was the name he had to get familiar with.
Eren was one of the latest additions to the Marleyan army that “protected” their neighbor country, Eldian. At least, that was how he was told anyway. Deep down inside, he always had a different belief of his own. Marley wasn’t protecting the Eldians from other countries that wanted its minerals and natural resources. Marley was monopolizing Paradis and made it its slave for their benefit. But Eren knew better not to speak his thoughts aloud. He still valued his life too much, no matter how meaningless his life felt to him at the moment.
But then again, why must his life matter when people around him were dying just because they tried to find their sanctuaries? Why must he fill his life with laughter when children were getting beaten to the ground, their heads smashed under combat boots, just because they asked for more bread?
The world was unfair, and Eren used to be scared of hell. But this… This life he was living at the moment… It already tasted like one.
“Excuse me?” Eren tried to keep his voice down. Being in the middle of the winter season was already enough reason for his cheeks to bloom in the color of the evening sky. He did not need the older man to make him look even more flustered.
“I’m asking you, kid.” A man who was in his late thirties scratched the untrimmed beard on his chin. His name was Theo Magath, a strict commander of Eren’s division. Although he was nine centimeters shorter than the younger soldier, Magath was stronger and more experienced in every way. Eren feared him the most, though the other man regarded him as his new companion on battlefields. “Have you ever slept with a girl before?”
“Permission to speak freely, Sir?”
“Permission granted.”
Eren still hesitated, teeth nibbling against the inside of his cheeks. “Forgive me if I’m rude, but,” he cautiously spoke as he bowed down a little and returned the bottle to the older man. “I believe you’ve drunk too much of this.”
“And you’ve drunk too little,” the man said, his laugh boisterous when he pushed the alcohol to Eren’s chest. “Go drink up a little more.”
“But we’re on duty.”
“Yeah, to watch a bunch of teenagers collects those damn branches from the wood,” Magath scoffed. “I doubt they’re gonna start up a revolution any moment from now, so drink.”
“Sir—”
“Drink.”
The way mirth in his voice suddenly vanished almost sent shivers down his spine. Eren nodded, taking another sip. He knew his tolerance limit and he wouldn’t pass it. He only swallowed the liquid to be polite and perhaps, just to keep himself warm. He didn’t intend to be drunk like the older soldier.
“I haven’t,” Eren admitted with a quiet voice. “I haven’t… done it with anyone.”
“Thought so.” Magath chuckled. “When’s your birthday?”
“March thirtieth.”
“It’s still a couple of months from now, huh?” The man yawned loudly, and puffs of warm breaths appeared in the cold air. “Hey, why don’t we celebrate early? I’ll get you the best girl from our place. You can take a few hours off and have fun with her. Think of it as a birthday present from me.”
That place, Eren knew, was referring to the military brothel that was stationed at their campsite. On some nights, those girls came to visit their barracks and perform their duties as the Comfort Women to satisfy the soldiers’ needs. And any other times, officers would stand properly in line, waiting to enter one of the twenty rooms in the brothel to satisfy their sexual desire.
It was always physical, nothing more and nothing less. They were used as toys—objects to fill the men’s thirsts. They were not prostitutes; they were forced to become one. Those young girls were kidnapped from the streets or, more often, deceived by the Marleyan government that they would get a better future if they worked for them. They ended up working as sex slaves—each person serving about a hundred military personnel per month, and if they weren’t cooperative, they would get beaten to death.
Their bodies belonged to the army, raped and tortured.
Eren never came to visit that place. He hated it with all his heart, every nerve of his body shouting in disgust. And whenever those women came to their barracks, he would leave with his shotgun strapped to his back, disappearing into the woods. He preferred spending the night sorting out his thoughts near the frozen lake than forcing himself on some lady he didn’t know. Even the thought of it made him nauseous. It was wrong. Those women never deserved to be treated that way, but Eren was weak and powerless. There was nothing he could do.
“No, thank you,” Eren declined, feeling agitated all of a sudden. “I’m fine.”
“What, do you prefer men?”
“No, Sir. I just…” The boy took a deep breath, calming himself down and trying to sound less offensive. He put a lot of effort into not saying things like ‘I don’t want to commit more sins than I already have done’ or ‘it stands against my values to rape women, unlike you and the rest of immoral idiots here’. After a few seconds of battling inside his head, he decided to utter, “I just don’t feel like it.”
It was safe. It was simple. It was a lie.
“You don’t feel like having sex?” Magath snorted, repulsed by the thought. “The fuck is wrong with you?”
It burned bright, the rage inside his chest. “I just don’t feel like raping someone, Sir.” Not until his sentence ended, did Eren realize that he was almost growling at the older man. His heart plummeted to his stomach. Immediately, he stood in front of his superior, performing a ninety-degree bow. “My deepest apologies, Commander! I was out of line! I will take any kind of punishment for my words!”
Something glinted in the older man’s eyes, but whatever it was, he decided to ignore it. “It’s fine,” Magath said and Eren bowed once more before he scooted back to his position. His heart was thumping loud behind his rib cages.
The boy straightened his back and kept his eyes once more on a group of young Eldians, walking in line carrying twigs in their arms. Their jackets were much thinner if being compared to his, tattered with plenty of holes in them. And when Eren wore a warm, fur hat to protect his hair from snowflakes, they had none. The young soldier felt sorry for them, but it seemed like he was the only one with empathy in this place.
There was a little boy, with cheeks red and scratched by the falling snow, struggling to keep his wobbly feet on the ground. He was carrying more branches than his little arms could handle. The weight was too much and the snow was too deep for him to walk on and he fell, his face hitting piles of ice. The twigs he carried scattered everywhere. He was frustrated but he didn’t cry. Eren was amazed.
But then a soldier came over, slamming the end of his gun to the little boy’s head and screaming at him to get up. He hit him again, and again, and again until Eren could see the tear on his skin, fresh blood dripping down from the side of his temple.
Eren’s hold on his gun tightened.
“Careful, kid,” Magath reminded him, his voice as eerie as the night during an eclipse. Eren shuddered, but not from the cold. “You’re a kind young man, I know that much. But your kind values are the ones that are going to get you killed someday.”
Eren turned his head to look at the man, his eyes weren’t blinking. “Sir…?”
“Listen to me.” Magath locked his eyes with the soldier and Eren felt like he was being choked instead. “These Eldian people are vicious. That little boy you see there may look hopeless now, but he was ready to stab Galliard’s neck with a fork just to get more food less than a week ago. And women, especially, are even more dangerous. They betray us. They won’t hesitate to kill us in our sleep. We can’t trust them, Eren.”
Eren stayed still, though his mind was screaming: but we’re not that better either.
“They don’t deserve to be treated like people,” Magath continued, “Treat them like toys. You don’t share feelings with toys, do you? You play with them.”
Eren swallowed, his throat felt like it was made of sand. “And what do I do when I get bored with them, Sir?” the boy asked because that was what the man wanted to hear. Theo Magath didn’t want to witness kindness, sincerity, or mercy. He, just like any other soldiers here, craved power, grief, and lust.
Magath smiled, his eyes shimmering like a proud father’s.
“Then, it’s time to throw them away.”
***
Eren jolted awake when he heard a man screaming. He didn’t realize that he had fallen asleep for a few seconds on his feet, swallowed by the boredom of seeing the constant movements of young men collecting dry branches to build campfires that night. His head spun toward the source, his chest tightening at the sight. There, a few meters away from him, stood a very tall, well-built Marleyan soldier with short, coarse-looking dark hair that reached to his neck. A thin beard decorated his jawline, his smirk was nothing but menacing. His name was Kenny Ackerman.
He loomed tall as he beat a young man—who was probably around Eren’s age—to the cold, freezing ground. The branches fell out of the boy’s arms, meeting the earth almost without a sound. A splotch of blood spilled from his mouth when Kenny landed a harsh kick on his stomach, painting the snow like angry lipstick smeared on a blank canvas. His light ash-brown hair was falling over his eyes, concealing them.
Kenny Ackerman was his senior, but even if he weren’t, Eren still wouldn’t dare to stop him. That man was twice his size, with arms strong enough to break his wrists in seconds. Eren’s mind was telling him to not lift a muscle—that if he tried to stop the older man from beating the boy to death, he would meet his end that day as well. But his heart was thumping loud, sending a rush of adrenaline to course through his veins. He was old enough to know better, but his body was filled with young blood. Before he knew it, Eren made a step forward. It was probably his luck when another male appeared, kneeling in front of the soldier to beg for forgiveness.
It was another Eldian, as old as Eren was but seemed five times younger in appearance. He had a mop of golden hair, his body was frail and not as tall as the boy he was protecting. For a split second, Eren caught a glimmer of his irises. They were cerulean, as deep as the bottomless sea, as bright as the cloudless sky.
“Please let me explain,”hepleaded with two hands surrendering in the air, beseeching for mercy. “It was just a misunderstanding. My brother meant no harm.”
But Kenny Ackerman was not known for being kind. He was famous for being ruthless, the death reaper of the army who enjoyed robbing the light of his victim’s eyes. While Eren had never taken a life before—be it the Eldians or Marleyan soldiers who assaulted him by pushing him down into a frozen lake in the middle of the night—Kenny had killed hundreds. Eren knew that for a fact, because for every kill he did, that man carved a line on his barrack’s wall. The lines had become so many that Eren couldn’t see the original color of the wall anymore.
Kenny grasped the blonde-haired boy by his neck, lifting his hand until his feet could no longer touch the ground. His blue eyes started to water, croaking in pain as his fingers clawed frantically against the soldier’s wrist.
“That fucking brat tried to take a sip of my coffee,” Kenny bellowed, nudging his head to the other Eldian who was lying on the ground, his blood pooling in his mouth. “You think I can forgive him just like that?”
The boy coughed, pale skin turning scarlet as he was smothered by his large hand. His feet erratically moved in the air, trying to find a ground to stand on while his lungs were screaming for air. He was choking, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. A few seconds more and it would be over. A few seconds more then his blue eyes wouldn’t glimmer as radiantly. They would be dark. Hollow. Dead.
But Kenny had a change of heart. Instead of murdering him, the violent man tossed him back to the ground.
“Armin…” The other boy—the Eldian who Armin tried to protect so desperately—called, reaching out a hand to touch his brother who was gasping loudly. Eren felt a shiver running through his spine when he heard him speak in his Eldian language. It was clear that the Marleyan government had declared that all Eldians should abandon their mother tongue. They were only allowed to speak in Marleyan or to not speak at all. Break this rule and you would be starved for two days. Do it again and you’d have your tongue cut off. Hearing how he just spoke to his brother in his native language, Eren thought of two things: it was either he was rebelling or just plain stupid.
Surely, that word had consequences. Eren wasn’t surprised when the Eldian boy received another blow to his stomach.
What he didn’t expect, however, was when Armin slapped his hand away. “Jean!” he screamed. “Know your place!”
Jean looked like he stopped breathing for a second. So many things appeared in his eyes: from being confused to afraid until it finally ended with redeemed anger. Slowly, and painfully, Jean crawled to his stomach and pressed his forehead to the ground, bowing to his punisher.
“I’m sorry,” Jean muttered, his voice quavering and Eren knew that it wasn’t from the fear. It was from the wrath he tried to bottle inside his chest. Eren also noticed that tears were lining down his cheeks, but his sobs couldn’t be heard, muted by his gritted teeth. It was an agonizing sight to behold.
Armin kneeled next to him, imitating his posture, bowing deeply until his forehead met the ground. “Please, Sir… Show us some mercy…”
Kenny guffawed, looking delighted for the power he had over them. He placed one foot on Jean’s head, pressing it down until he screamed when the skin on his forehead broke and bled. “I can’t hear you, little boy,” the soldier said, his smile growing wider. “Come on, apologize some more. I’m sure even pigs like you can do it.”
Eren felt his heart stir. His hold around his shotgun was getting tighter, his nails turning white.
Panic painted Armin’s face as he watched Jean’s blood seeping through the snow. “S-sir,” he crawled forward, latching one hand against Kenny’s boots. “Let him go—"
“Don’t touch me!” Kenny kicked his face and Armin fell to his side, shaky hands covering his torn lip.
“I’m sorry!” Jean, unable to contain the agony, screamed. “I said I’m sorry, so please!” He sobbed, his face sinking in the snow. “Please let us go…”
Kenny released him with a satisfied grin. “Listen to your big brother, little boy,” he said, spitting on Jean’s limp body. “Know your place.” He took his leave with his chin tilted up in arrogance.
The ruckus ended there. The two boys were still lying helplessly on the ground, trying to catch their breaths and steady their hearts. The crowd around them—another bunch of powerless Eldians—tried to not pay attention to them even when their hands were itching to help. They continued walking with their heads hung low, hugging the branches close to their chest like they were ordered to before the sun sank below the horizon.
Eren felt sick. Everything was wrong. The world was not supposed to roll like this. It wasn’t supposed to resemble hell.
The young soldier walked with hurried steps toward the boys. He was the only one who was brave enough to examine their conditions. Jean, head raised in suspicion, scowled at him when he was close enough. He was like a cornered wolf, a raging flame in his eyes even his whole body was aching. Eren did not mind his anger. He had expected it.
Armin, on the other hand, was simply cautious. “Sir.” He bowed to Eren as he did to Kenny before, with his palms and forehead pressed against the ice. His voice was still quivering, his shoulders shaking both from pain and fear.
“Stand up,” Eren commanded, not too loud, not too firm. “Stand up and hide before the others come to check on you.”
Armin lifted his head, gazing at him with confusion in his eyes. “But…” His gaze shifted to the pile of branches that were scattered on the ground. “T-the branches—I haven’t finished—”
“I’ll tell them you’re done for the day.” He picked the other man up by his arm. “What’s your name?”
Armin tucked his chin down, anxious. “A-Armin Arlert, Sir…”
Eren took an old handkerchief from his pocket—one that his mother gave him during his departure—and handed it to the boy. “Here.”
The shorter boy blinked in bewilderment, perhaps contemplating whether Eren was just playing tricks on him. “S-sir?”
“To wipe your blood,” Eren explained, observing the deep cut on the corner of his mouth. “Don’t use your clothes, you’ll get germs on the wound.”
Armin’s shaky eyes searched his, wanting to decipher what was hidden between them but Eren kept his face guarded. “Y-yes, Sir, thank you…”
“I assume that’s your brother?”
Armin helped Jean return to his feet. “Yes. His name is Jean.”
“All right.” Eren tried to put on a reassuring smile. It was so rare to see a Marleyan soldier smile in such a benign way that it left the two boys stunned. “Armin, I want you to pick up your brother and find someplace safe to spend the night. There’s a lake two kilometers away from here. Keep walking south and you’ll find it. It’s safe, I’m the only one who knows that place. No one will find us over there. Sneak out an hour before dawn. There are fewer guards during that time. I’ll bring you guys some food.”
Jean, who was not as kind and trusting as his brother was, sent him a vicious glare. “Why should we trust you?” he bitterly asked. “Why should we believe that this isn’t just a sick plan of yours to get us killed?”
“Jean,” Armin called, his tone demanding silence from the other man. “Behave.”
“Because if I really wanted to kill you,” Eren replied. “You’d be dead by now.”
Jean didn’t look so assured but his eyes did flash toward the shotgun that Eren held in his hand. His fingers were nowhere near the trigger.
“Go clean up your wounds,” Eren reminded, “If you’re too late, there’s a possibility you’ll get infected. Medicine is scarce around here, even so for Eldians.”
Although he was better at masking it, Armin still seemed stupefied from receiving this kind of treatment, especially coming from one of the Marleyan’s soldiers. “But we—”
“We don’t have time to argue,” Eren cut him short, only then did he sound stern. He needed to step away right now before he raised any kind of suspicion. “Just do as I say and keep yourself safe. Please.”
And then he left, leaving the two boys with frowns breaking on their faces.
For the first time in his life, Eren felt good.
For the first time in his life, he finally knew how it felt like to be human.
***
“So your name’s Jean?” Eren questioned as he gave him enough food to keep the boy alive for another day. Jean’s intense light brown eyes shimmered in delight when his nose caught a whiff of bread. His stomach growled, begging for attention.
“Don’t call me that,” he snapped back, taking the loaf of bread without saying a word of gratitude. He took a huge bite, chewing loudly as he muttered, “I don’t want a Marleyan calling my name. That’s fucking disgusting.”
“But you’re eating the food I gave you.”
“Shut up.”
“I’m sorry,” Armin joined in, sighing at his sibling’s behavior. “He has no manners whatsoever.”
“I do have manners,” Jean corrected, licking his thumb from the breadcrumbs. “But unlike you, I just don’t feel like playing a goody two shoes around those fuckers, including him.”
Eren, weirdly, found his attitude amusing rather than insulting. “Still don’t trust me yet, do you?”
Jean didn’t even spare him a glance. He strolled away, taking a seat at the edge of the frozen lake, picking up pebbles and throwing them aimlessly.
“Jean isn’t always like this, you know,” Armin said, scooting closer to the brunette. They were both out of Jean’s hearing. The blonde male thanked him when Eren pushed a bottle of vodka in his direction. He might not like the taste of it, but it did a great job at keeping his body warm. “He used to be all fun and cheery.”
But now he’s bitter and spiteful. “Him? Cheery?” Eren almost chuckled. “Doesn’t seem like it fits.”
“He was annoying but… Kind.”
The melancholy in Armin’s voice made him wonder. “I guess everybody changed during the war, huh?” And not for the better, Eren mused, turning pensive. Including me.
Armin looked up and saw how the sky was faintly painted with a light shade of red and orange. Maybe they still had a little time to talk before the sun came up and they had to return to reality. “Jean and I aren’t families by blood,” he said, his voice a bit hollow, just like his stare. “But to me, he feels like one. We’ve been best friends since forever so I always thought of him as my sibling. We were neighbors, that was how we knew each other. One day, as we were walking back from school, a group of Marleyan soldiers entered our block and killed everyone in sight. I thought something happened. I thought we were punished. But these men… they were laughing. I got fifteen, I got twenty, they said, counting the bodies. They were playing games.”
It was horrifying, he thought, the fact that these soldiers murdered people for fun. But it wasn’t as eerie as the way Armin retold the story—empty eyes staring far away into the night, his soul breaking with every word he spoke. But his voice was steady. Emotionless. He was numb. The tiny hairs on Eren’s nape rose in dread but he kept his lips shut and his ears perked up.
“I invited Jean and his mother into my home since we had a basement we could use as a hiding place,” Armin continued, hugging his knees to his chest, sniffling from the cold. Eren wanted to steal some clothes for him to wear, but it would be impossible for other soldiers not to notice him. “We thought we were safe there when suddenly, two soldiers broke through our front door. Our parents tried to buy us some time to run away and his mother trusted me with her son’s life. I was only ten back then, Jean was just as young. But she thought I was smarter, that I would find a way to keep her son safe. But I was so frightened, I couldn’t think. I couldn’t do anything. So I hid in a closet with Jean plastered against me, and we waited until the soldiers went away. I remember how tightly we pressed our hands against our ears because we knew things wouldn’t end well. It only took a few minutes, three gunshots, and a train of laughter coming from the Marleyan men. Then it was all… silence.” Armin breathed deeply. “The next thing we knew, when we stepped down from the closet, our feet were soaked in our parents’ blood. And we covered our mouths as we cried. We didn’t make a sound. ”
Eren sat frozen. He never had the chance to console someone before, and he wasn’t certain whether Armin needed one. Unsure of what to say, he murmured, “I’m sorry.”
Armin smiled, warm as the sunlight. “Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault.” He took the bottle from the soldier’s hand, taking another chug. “I’m sorry for rambling like this. What I’m trying to say is that… Jean used to be happy. He was a nice kid, but losing people you love tends to do that to you”
They both went quiet. Armin spent his time staring at Jean’s back, who was now trying to make small cracks on the edge of the lake. Eren, on the other hand, was busy trying to process all of the information he just received.
“Don’t look so sad,” Armin chastised gently. “I didn’t tell you my story so I could be pitied. I shared about my past so you’d realize that even after all these things that happened, Jean and I are still here. Alive and breathing. And it’s partially because of you.”
“Me?” Eren asked, startled. “I barely did anything.”
Armin gave him a knowing look. “I saw you back then. When that guy was strangling me, I saw you holding your gun like you were ready to shoot him. And a part of me believed that if he did hurt me more than that, you would’ve pulled the trigger for me.”
Eren turned scarlet. He wasn’t aware that he did that. Did his body move on its own?
“Am I wrong,” Armin took a closer look at the name sewed on his clothes. “Kruger?”
“Eren is fine,” the soldier said, not liking his Marleyan’s name. Ever since his mother got remarried to a Marleyan man, he was forced to change his family name. It had happened a few years back but he still hadn’t grown accustomed to it.
“You don’t look like a Marleyan to me,” Armin commented. His eyes were scrutinizing Eren’s appearance within every detail, but they were gentle, just like how he spoke.
“My parents were Eldians,” Eren said, a faint sad smile sketched upon his lips as he recalled his past. “My dad died in an accident a couple of years after I was born, and then my mother got remarried to a Marleyan guy. It happened way back before the war. For protection, my mother and I decided to change our names into his family name and pretended that we were Marleyan since birth.”
Armin listened intently. He stayed voiceless for a few seconds until he said, “And so you’re on their side now.”
Eren stiffened, every bit of his movements coming to a halt.
Was that true? Was that where his loyalty stood?
“Sorry,” the other boy hurriedly said. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”
“I’m trying to choose a better option,” Eren quietly answered. “Even when I belong to the Marleyan army, I still think that this is not the way it should be. Being a Marleyan doesn’t mean we’re better than the Eldians. We don’t have the right to abuse, steal, or kill. I—” he realized that he was talking in one breath, his chest felt suffocating. “I just want to change how the world works, but I don’t know how. I’m in no such position to make amends.”
Armin gazed at him with too much going on behind his eyes and Eren wondered whether that was a bad thing or a good thing.
“What’s your name then?” Armin queried. His smile was so delicate, so genuine, and juvenile. “Your Eldian name?”
“Jaeger…” Eren licked his lower lip nervously. It had been a long time since he last spoke it out loud. “Eren Jaeger.”
Armin grinned widely and offered him his hand. Eren took it, a bit awkward as he was not used to having friendly interactions with people. “Nice to meet you, Eren Jaeger.” Armin shook his hand. His smile was a contagious disease. “It’s nice to see that there are still hopes left in humanity.”
The soldier froze for a few seconds before his face warmed in a smile.
“Likewise, Armin.”
***
“Eren!” Armin wrapped his arms around his shoulders the moment they met by the lake again. Several nights had passed by and Eren breathed in relief to know that he looked pretty much the same as when he last saw him. “How have you been, my friend?”
“I’ve been well,” Eren answered, smiling lightly at him as they broke their hug. Jean Kirstein came trailing after him with a familiar scowl in his eyes.
Eren smirked, tossing him a few loaves of bread, along with a fresh bottle of water. “Here you go, Horseface.” They had become close enough to make fun of each other during conversations.
“These aren’t poisoned, right?” Jean asked with an ungrateful tone.
Eren rolled his eyes. “I’ve brought you food for like five times by now and you still ask me that.”
“I was just being careful.”
He snorted in response and Armin laughed, patting the soldier’s back. “Come on and sit with us,” the most affectionate man among them offered kindly. “There’s a lot I want to talk about.”
While Jean was the more unsociable one, Armin was quite talkative and possibly nicer than anyone Eren had ever met. He loved to share his thoughts—mostly about the sea and the sky—and his hopes for a better world. Eren found it refreshing that in a gloomy place like this, he could find someone who was truly visionary and imaginative enough to light up the place with his presence.
“I wish I could marry someone someday, you know?” Armin said, lying on the ground with his arms folded under his head. His eyes twinkled, reflecting the stars in the sky, while his brother was busily munching on his bread with loud noises.
“Armin, that’s not gonna happen,” Jean commented and Eren laughed because while Armin and he usually spoke in the Marleyan language, Jean always talked in his native one.
“What do you mean it’s not gonna happen?” Armin pouted, making him look even younger. “I think I could find a nice woman for me one day.”
“We can’t even find enough food to live by tomorrow if this prick weren’t here to help us.”
Eren shook his head in amusement when Jean rudely pointed at him. Days had passed by and Jean still insisted on calling him with any derogatory term he could come up with instead of his name. “Always glad to help, buddy,” Eren joked, which earned him another glare from the tall boy.
Armin poked his brother by the stomach. “Which is why you should be more grateful toward Eren, you idiot.”
Jean scoffed, continuously glowering at the soldier as he took a large sip of his water. “This is the least he could do for us, Armin. Those fuckers took our families away, remember?”
“Jean,” Armin called, exhaling heavily as he sat up. He sounded a bit more enervated than usual. “Eren is different. Don’t put him on the same page—”
“He’s not different!” He harshly barked and Eren wished Jean could stop speaking like he wasn’t there. “This bastard belongs to the army! He’s not our friend, Armin! He will never be! All Marleyans deserve to die and so does he!”
Eren was stricken aback. Was that how Jean really thought of him? Just another heartless Marleyan with no soul? Even after all that time they spent together?
“Jean!” Armin scolded, his forehead creasing in anger. “You take that back and apologize to him!”
“If he could bring my mother back from the dead,” Jean said, standing up on his feet. “I’d forgive him.”
Armin could only open his mouth but he couldn’t speak. He noticed that the other man was crying when he pivoted on his heel, walking away with a storm raging in his chest. And Armin wondered whether it was from pain, anger, or suppressed frustration. Perhaps everything at once.
“God, I’m sorry,” Armin apologized, returning his gaze to Eren. “You know he doesn’t mean what he said.”
Eren only replied to him with a smile but his heart was shattered.
He didn’t know that he had to take responsibility for the things he didn’t do.
***
“First time?” A Marleyan officer asked Eren with a teasing look in his eyes.
Eren swallowed thickly, trying hard to will himself not to blush as he nodded and stored his gun away inside his locker. The other man snickered, leaning his back against the wall as he spoke to Eren with his arms crossed on his chest.
“I still remember my first time,” he sneered and Eren only listened half-heartedly, showing no emotion. He felt revolted watching these Marleyan soldiers walking past him with arrogance and dirty looks on their faces. How could they laugh so easily after they forced these poor women to satisfy their needs? How could they just throw them away without feeling any remorse or offering a single form of gratitude?
“My friend forced me to do this,” Eren said and he didn’t know why he needed to explain it. Perhaps he just wanted to give himself a chance to redeem the guilt of the sin he was about to commit.
“Ah,” the man slurred, his slanty eyes twinkling. “You all rookies said that at first. But when you’ve done it once, you could never stop. Before you know it, you’re gonna want to fuck them every day, believe me.”
Eren’s fingers balled into fists and he had to put his hands on his back to keep them away from showing. The young soldier only tossed him a smile, not revealing the rage that bubbled inside his chest.
“Shall we get in line, then?” The officer asked with a wink and Eren tried not to slam his cocky head against the wall. Fucking piece of shit.
Eren took the stairs, marching toward the second floor of the military brothel, as the first floor was inhabited by the more ‘experienced’ prostitutes to serve the noblemen in the Marleyan government. As soon as he stepped into the hallway, Eren was met by twenty soldiers already lining up, one soldier for each door. There were ten rooms there in total—each one consisted of a bed and a bathroom for the comfort women to clean themselves up after ‘serving’ their bodies for twenty to thirty men a day.
Eren held his breath down for a few seconds so he wouldn’t vomit. This place was sickening.
“I’d wait to get into that room if I were you,” the previous Marleyan officer said, pointing at the door that stood at the end of the hallway. “She’s a total beauty and doesn’t scream much when we do it with her. You’ll like her.”
As much as he wanted to punch that man, Eren knew his position. He smiled, nodded, and bowed before he followed his direction. He took a deep breath.
Let’s just get this over with.
He waited for about ten minutes before a man came out from the room he chose. Eren recognized him instantly. Kenny Ackerman. The same man who almost killed Jean and Armin a few weeks ago just by the strength of his foot. Another bile of rage started to pile in his chest but Eren channeled it down to a polite bow. The taller man zipped his pants, and smirked at the tanned boy before he walked away with his chin held up high.
“Have fun with that whore, brat,” that soldier said and Eren sank his fingers to his palms to keep his fists to himself.
For now, he had to think about something else.
He drew in a long breath, and he did it one more time to stop his heart from racing before he circled his fingers around the doorknob. He turned it open.
The moment he entered the room, his eyes scanned the place for a brief second like how he was trained in war—to always know your surroundings well, they said. Eren noticed the broken wooden chair in the corner of the room. He saw how the dirty bathroom had no sink and no door—only a small tub with soiled water and a piss pot. He noticed how the bed was big enough for two people but it had no pillows or blanket. The sheets were crumpled and the white color had turned into a dirty shade of cream, with splotches of red. And he knew for a fact that those stains on the sheet weren’t just made from blood.
But his eyes stopped moving when he saw a woman lying on the bed with not a single fabric covering her nudity. Eren quickly averted his gaze from the sight, even though all he could see was her back. In that short moment, he managed to notice the purple bruises blooming along her spine, tainting her skin with dry blood.
For a few seconds, he could hear soft sobs coming from the girl’s lips. And when he secretly glanced, he noted how her shoulders were shaking as she hugged her knees to her chest. He didn’t let his eyes linger on her body for too long. He felt like he was being disrespectful to her. Eren knew his friends would’ve laughed at the way he behaved, but he couldn’t force himself to stare even if he wanted to.
The young soldier closed the door behind him and with that small thud, the girl immediately froze. Her sobs were muffled and contained, and slowly, she turned her body around until she was lying on the bed with her eyes on the ceiling.
Eren brought his head down, not wanting to witness any more curves of her body. But before that, he spotted how wet her eyes were and how hollow they looked. Those weren’t the eyes of someone who had the will to continue living. Those were the eyes of the defeated, who were willing to sacrifice their lives just so they could stop living in this rotten world.
“Do it,” she said, her body lying limp on the bed. “What are you waiting for?”
He was petrified to the bones. His mind stopped working.
Eren’s heart thundered vehemently behind his chest. He couldn’t do this. There was no way he could do this. He never even wanted to in the first place, but an order was an order. They were alone in the room. Magath wouldn’t be able to tell, would he? Eren could just pretend.
That’s right, he thought. I’ll just have to pretend.
And so, he said, “Cover up.”
The woman’s lifeless eyes grew a bit wide but only for a second before she smiled understandingly. “Ah,” she said, “So, you’re that type, huh?”
Eren frowned, not knowing what she meant and he blushed when she pushed herself up to sit on the bed. “What’s next?” she asked, not looking ashamed of showing her nude body to the man. She kept her eyes in his direction, but her stare was blank as if she wasn’t looking at him, but through him. “Do you want me to bend over too, Sir? Begging you to give it to me?”
“That’s not—” Eren blurted out, face aflame. “Lady, please cover yourself up. I’m not going to do this with you.”
Her smile faltered. “What?”
“I mean,” Eren sighed, turning himself around to face the door. It was troubling to be in the same room with a lady who was so stripped of her conscience that she could no longer care about wearing proper clothes. “I am not going to have sex with you. I’m just going to be here for a while before I go out so they’ll think I’m…” His blush smeared his cheeks. “…doing it with you.”
“You…” Her voice had lost its confidence, and instead of pain and disappointment, he began to hear hopes in her soft voice. “You’re not going to do it with me?”
“No, I’m not,” he said. “So, please… Put on your clothes.”
The atmosphere was thick with heavy tension and pregnant silence. Eren continued to stay mute, only trying to listen to the rustling sounds she’d make when she placed back her robe. Except, there were none.
“Have you dressed properly?” Eren asked, sounding a bit restless.
“I…” She fell quiet before she continued again. “I can’t find my robe.”
His eyebrows sewed together in confusion, knowing well that her robe was lying on the floor, just beside her bed. How could she not see it?
Then recognition dawned on his face.
Those lifeless eyes. That blank stare.
Eren turned around, facing her again and it seemed like she heard the sound of his shoes sliding against the floor. With her body jolting in alert, she hastily wrapped her arms around her front. Eren didn’t let his gaze travel anywhere else but her eyes.
“You’re…” he spoke, lips parted in shock. “You’re blind?” It was more like a statement than a question but whatever it was, that line gave more sense of peril to her.
“Which is something I should be grateful for,” she said, smiling again as if it was the only way she knew to keep her mind sane. “Considering how many demons are walking around this place.” It was an act, Eren noted, a way for her to appear resilient. Fearless, even when her fingers were shaking.
Eren chewed on his lower lip. That sentence couldn’t be any truer.
Cautiously, he took a step forward and she jerked, pulling herself back in reflex. Eren understood then. She spoke like she was used to this kind of treatment, but she was just a girl, scared to her bones. She acted like she was strong, but deep inside, she was probably even more fragile than the first time she was abducted and brought to this place.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” Eren spoke, loud enough for her ears to hear but not soft enough for her to stop being terrified of him. “I promise you with my life, I will not hurt you.”
“That sounds like a lot of promise coming from a Marleyan soldier,” she retorted, sounding like she was amused by it but she was not fooling anyone but herself.
“I’m not lying,” the boy said, taking another step and she inhaled sharply. Eren stopped, raising both hands in the air as if he was surrendering. “I’m just… I’m just going to fetch your robe back to you, okay?”
Her lower lip still trembled but she didn’t do or say anything.
Eren kept his eyes to the ground as he walked forward to collect her robe. She kept fidgeting on the bed until she felt soft fabric hugging her from behind. She touched the robe, releasing a shuddering breath at the familiar sense of comfort it gave to her skin.
“Put it on.” Eren’s voice was soft and tender. He kept his eyes glued to her face. “It’s probably only for a few minutes before somebody comes in and takes my place but…” His lips still curved, forming a reassuring smile even though he knew she couldn’t see it. “As long as I’m with you here, you’re safe.”
You’re safe… The words echoed in her mind, tugging upon her heartstring. Was there a moment in her life when someone gave those words to her?
Her eyes grew wide and when Eren retrieved his hand, she reached out and clamped her frail fingers tightly around his wrist. His breath hitched in his throat, stunned.
For a few seconds, they just stood there like that. One of his eyebrows was raised in confusion but he didn’t ask questions. He knew she was doing something. He just couldn’t tell what.
“You…” she breathed out, looking up at him with eyes that were too beautiful to be functionless. “You’re not lying…”
Eren blinked twice before his realization sank in. She had been checking on his pulse.
He smiled, affection growing on him. She was smart and cautious. He didn’t even think of that and he was a trained soldier, albeit still new.
“I’m not lying,” he assured her once again. “Can you trust me?”
She swallowed and let him go. Careful not to make any sudden movement, he kneeled in front of her and wrapped the robe properly around her body without letting his gaze drift south. Eren’s cheeks were burning bright but at least he managed to stop his fingers from shaking.
“You’re okay,” he whispered, and her eyes searched his face as if she was taking every bit of his appearance, though he knew that was not the case. “You’re safe with me.”
She pressed her lips into a thin line, turning them white. Then, she nodded. Eren was about to sigh in relief when her whole body convulsed. She covered her mouth with one hand and she cried. Hard.
The girl who tried to cover her fear, the girl who acted bravely as she stood against the world, broke apart in front of him.
“Thank you…” she sobbed into her hand, her visionless eyes shutting tightly in gratefulness. “Thank you, Sir… Thank you…”
It felt different than the way Armin thanked him—similar, only her words brought a lot more joy to his heart than he had ever felt in his twenty-one years of living.
He could feel his heart beating. He could feel it race.
He felt alive.
***
“So how did it go?” Theo Magath asked his companion as he rubbed his fingers together to keep himself away from the cold. “Did you like your early birthday gift?”
His scowl almost found its way to his face but he managed to catch himself at the last second. “Yes, Sir. But I’d appreciate it more if we don’t discuss it any further—if that’s alright with you.”
“What, are you shy?” The older man sneered. “Fuck, Kruger, you’re no longer a damn virgin so stop acting like one.”
Eren let the matter drop. His seniors could think whatever they wanted to. It wouldn’t matter to him anyway.
“So, what now? Are you going to pay another visit to the brothel?”
“Yes,” Eren said, startling the other man with his answer but he kept his smile to himself. Perhaps next time, he could bring one of his old sleeping shirts for her. It would at least be warmer than just a layer of a maroon satin robe.
“That’s my boy!” Magath clapped him on the back. “Already wanting for more, huh?”
Eren sheepishly smiled, doing his part of acting. Though the joy that bloomed in his chest was too real to be faked. Eren brought his hand up and his eyes lingered on the skin along his wrist—on the spot where she touched him. He remembered the way she thanked him and it bloomed again. The rush of happiness suffused his chest. A spark of joy from being able to give someone a chance to learn that life was an adventure worth living for.
***
Eren knocked on the familiar wooden door and opened it without waiting too long for permission. If he had waited, it would only raise suspicions from the fellow soldiers that were waiting in line after him. He couldn’t afford that to happen.
“Good evening,” Eren greeted, bowing a little to the lady in front of him. He felt a bit silly as he knew she couldn’t see. “It’s, umm… It’s me again. From the other day.”
The girl’s body went still and her expression showed that she was putting on her defensive demeanor. She kept her ears ready, trying to decipher if the soldier who let her go the other day was really as kind as she thought he was.
“Why are you here?” she asked, almost too coldly to his ears. “You said you didn’t want to sleep with me.”
“That’s right,” Eren smiled. “I only came here to talk.”
“Talk?” she repeated, covering her body with her robe and Eren blushed when he caught his eyes dancing along the curve of her waist. “What do you want to talk about, Soldier? How to use women for pleasure?”
It wasn’t like her spiteful words didn’t hurt him. They did. But he didn’t want to let it show. “You should have more respect for yourself,” Eren said and she almost growled. He gulped. Did I say something wrong?
“Respect?” She snapped. “You want to talk about respect? My mother sold me here to get enough money to stay rich for the rest of her life. I have to sleep with more than twenty men a day just so I could get some food to live through the night. And when I wanted to die, they stripped me out of my clothes and hung me outside for everyone to see how low I’d become. You want to talk about respect? That’s the respect your people gave to me!”
Every word that came out of her mouth felt like a javelin piercing through his chest. But Eren knew well that she had no other way of channeling her anger and frustration. A few days ago, she thanked him for the few minutes of break and forgiveness. Now, she realized that it wouldn’t contribute much to easing her pain so she broke apart once again. It wasn’t fair that she lashed out at him, she knew that too. But when you can’t even stop your own feelings from hurting yourself, would you care about theirs?
She was breathing hard, her chest heaving up and down.
After waiting a few seconds in silence, he softly asked, “Are you finished?”
She bit the inside of her cheek, hot angry tears streaming down her face. He wanted to brush them away with his thumb but he couldn’t. He shouldn’t. “I am not good with words,” Eren diffidently uttered, “And I don’t know if you would accept my apology on behalf of my country, but…”
Eren slid down to his knees, making a dull thud sound once they met the floor. He bowed down to her, his forehead pressed against the floor. “I beg for your forgiveness,” he said, eyes shut closed. “I apologize for the actions my country has done to you. You don’t deserve this. None of you do. I am in no position to grant you anything to pay back for the suffering you’ve endured. I don’t have permission to let you go, no matter how much I want to take you away from here. I am weak. I’m powerless. All I could do right now is bow my head down to you, ashamed and filled with guilt, hoping that you could forgive me, and—” He paused, a bit out of breath. “To ask you for… one thing.”
Her breathing was ragged and Eren lifted his head to gaze into her eyes.
“I want you to continue living,” he stated, and he could see the little jolt her body made, startled by his line. “I will not say that your life will be easy. I will not say that happiness will come to you by the end of this day or tomorrow. But I can promise you one thing: if you keep on living, I will try within my power to make some moments in your life, even if they are just measured in minutes or seconds, worth living for.”
She felt weak, her taut muscles loosening as she released the air she’d been holding. She closed her eyes, two droplets of tears falling to her cheeks.
“I will visit you every day.” Eren’s voice was like honey, sweet and comforting. “I will stay here if you want me to. I will read you books to keep you entertained. I will guard the door so you can have a few minutes of sleep. I will be your eyes and I will tell you when the cherry blossoms trees are blooming. I will describe the color of the sky and I will try every day for the rest of my life to find a way to release you from this place.”
“Why?” she asked, a crack in her voice. “Why would you do that for me?”
“Because ever since I met you,” Eren began and he could feel himself smiling. “I feel like I’ve found my chance to do something good for people, even if it was just only for a little. I saw how grateful you were when I let you go a few days ago. And I felt this joy spreading in my chest—so much that it scared me, and I want to feel that again. I want to make you feel that again. And that was the very reason why I’m doing this. Not only for you but for myself too.”
And she didn’t have to check on his wrist this time to know that he wasn’t lying.
***
This is the fifth time I’ve seen her and yet, she still appears to be scared of me. As if she still doubts my intention.
When I walk into her room, she seems to remember the sound of my steps. Her face is still guarded, her lips not forming a word. But she’s no longer angry or sad. She’s just there.
Breathing.
And living.
And that’s all I could ask for now.
***
“Soldier…” She called out with half-lidded eyes. Another week had gone by, or maybe even two, she could not tell. But he had visited her often enough for her to recognize his footsteps the second he walked into her chamber. Her wrists were still bruised from her previous encounter with a man who smirked wickedly when he exited her room. Eren had never felt so vexed with someone as he was back then.
He closed the door behind him, stepping closer to her spot. “I’m here.” He kneeled beside the bed, waiting for her to speak more. She was lying on her back, weak and breathless. Her voice sounded so hoarse as if her vocal cord was about to snap. Eren heard her painful screams before and every memory carved more scars on his heart.
“I’m sorry…” He lowered his head, unfamiliar with the pain. His teeth were cutting into his lower lip, his emotions churned like a hurricane. “I’m sorry…”
I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.
She sobbed quietly, reaching out a shaky hand. Soft tears started to fall from her vacant eyes at his apology. “It’s okay,” she said. “It’s not your fault.”
Eren cupped her hand with both of his warmer ones and brought it closer to his lips. His hot breath caressed her skin, soothing her bruise. “I’ll stay here,” Eren whispered, gently stroking her hair. “You don’t have to think about anything else as long as I’m here. You can sleep now…”
When she felt him lacing their fingers together, she breathed out in relief. “The skin of your palm…” A timid smile found her lips. “It’s so rough…”
Eren chuckled, even when it still felt like his chest was being torn open. “Must be because of my traini—” He stopped abruptly, his heart pounding. She was placing his hand on the side of her face, the callousness of his palm pressed against the smoothness of her cheek. Her lips bowed as she closed her eyes. She didn’t say a word, while his mind was jumbled with them.
His warmth was comforting. The texture of his palm was familiar. In his touch, she found her serenity. And just like that, her breathing became even. She began to fall asleep, drifting away from every wound and agony that life had inflicted on her. Right before she waned completely into her dreamland, a confession broke past her lips.
“Don’t leave me…”
Never had he felt his heart thrashing this wildly before. She was so beautiful. So pure, and so broken at the same time.Why did she have to go through all this pain?
“I won’t,” he promised herwith a voice so soft—it became a lullaby to her ears. “I won’t leave you. I’ll stay with you forever.”
I’ll stay with you for eternity.
***
“I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately,” Eren confessed, sticking a tree’s branch inside the firewood the three of them made that night. Armin sneaked a glance at his face, probably analyzing his expression to understand how Eren was feeling at the moment.
“Me too,” Jean muttered, yawning loudly as he threw a rock toward the frozen lake. Eren began to realize that it was a habit of his. “But you know the difference between you and me, Jackass? I don’t whine like a fucking girl about it.”
“Jean,” Armin scolded and his brother only shrugged. Eren mirrored the blonde boy’s apologetic smile, making gestures that he didn’t mind Jean’s words.
“Have you ever had a nightmare, Jean?” Eren asked and the other boy snorted loudly.
“My whole life is a nightmare,” he grumbled. “I wouldn’t know the difference even if I had one. And how many times do I have to tell you? Don’t call my name!”
“Please ignore my brother and his evil plan to spread despair to the world,” Armin joked and Jean threatened to throw pebbles at him. “What keeps you awake at night, Eren? Thinking of some lucky girl?”
While Jean snorted again, Eren began to smile sheepishly. “Sometimes… I guess?”
“Aaw, our little hero has finally found his heroine,” Armin cooed and Eren shoved him lightly by the shoulder.
“Shut up. It’s not always like that.” Eren huffed. “It’s more than that. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in a while because…” He paused, staring at the firewood with weary eyes. “Well, I guess it all started on the first day I stood on the field with a gun in my hands. I’ve had my fair share of training as a soldier, but what you see in real life is… different than anything you’ve imagined it to be.”
“Why?” Armin queried. Jean, who didn’t even bother to listen, yawned loudly as he placed his head on his brother’s lap. Eren gave them both a look but Armin waved a hand nonchalantly, muttering, “Ignore him. He’s been this clingy from the first time we met. I’m used to it by now.”
“Please. I know you like it, Min.”
“What, having a grown-ass man’s head on my lap? Very unlikely.”
And Eren smiled because this scene he witnessed right there, reminded him how it felt like to have a family. It had been a while since he last saw his mother, and only God knew how much he missed her at the moment.
“When I began my training,” Eren revealed, “The only thing that mattered to me was how to protect my country. How to not get your comrades killed in battles, and how to survive. But now, I see that that’s not how it works anymore. Being a soldier means we have to be ready to take lives. To murder innocent people. People like you and Jean.”
Armin stayed silent. The fire danced beautifully in his eyes, a spark of amber gleaming inside a sapphire.
“I don’t want to kill anyone.” Eren sounded as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. “I don’t want to be a murderer. I want to be someone who can protect. Someone who can help those in need. Someone who can make them happy.”
Armin smiled at him, pressing a comforting hand on Eren’s shoulder.
“Someday you will be, Eren. Someday you will be.”
***
“Unwinds this world that ever turns,” Eren recited, his voice was velvety when he vocalized the words that were written on the poetry book he held in his hand. “Slow it to a week. Where daybreak brings her honey kiss.” Just for a few seconds, he let his eyes take a journey to her lips, tracing the shape of her mouth, beautiful like a cupid’s bow. He caught himself, the blood that rushed to his face streamed down to his chest, pumping his heart harder. “And twilight, earthly tenderness, with night her rapt mystique.”
The lady was lying on her side, her eyes staring blankly at the spot where she could hear Eren’s voice the most. His tone was gentle and his voice felt like a symphony to her ears. It was easy to let go but she kept her eyes awake. She hadn’t trusted him that much to let herself sleep when he was in the same room with her. The previous night was an exception. Her body had felt so weak—drained—and she didn’t have the power to put up a fight to stay awake.
“Unwind this world that spins so fast,” Eren continued and she thought she could listen to his voice forever. Husky but young, awkward but soothing. “Slow it to a day. When clouds flow back against Time’s bend, and dying dreams reverse their end. Lost skiffs return to bay.”
The way the sunlight hit her skin made it glow and Eren felt a bit nervous. She was, indeed, a beauty. Art to be admired. No wonder she was the jewel of this place. No matter how many bruises bloomed from those forced kisses she had, no matter how many handprints and cuts from dirty nails appeared on her spine, she still looked like she was the purest form a soul could ever take in this world.
The book in his hand had been forgotten, his eyes lingered on her curves, but they were not the eyes of a hungry man. They weren’t fueled by lust. They were… entranced like a child lying on the grass, watching the stars taking shape into pretty constellations.
“Soldier…?”
He jolted awake from his stupor. “U-unwind this world that twirls so wild,” Eren read after he cleared his throat, shifting his gaze away. “Slow it to an hour. When friendships paint a lonely sky. Spry dancers, all bounds defy; Fresh buds elate in flower.”
With every word, her eyelids became even heavier and she felt his voice getting nearer but, to her surprise, her thoughts remained calm. This was comforting. He was comforting. He was, by all means, her safe haven.
She fell asleep.
“Unwind this world that whips around,” Eren whispered, returning the small poetry book to the pocket of his beige coat. He kneeled beside the bed, brushing her stray hair away from her face with delicate fingers. “Slow it to that time.” He adored everything about her. The way her eyelashes fluttered against her cheekbones; the blissful look on her face as she sank deeper into her dream, her parted lips, and the soft breath that flowed through them. “When our goodbyes were yet of tongue, and Cupid’s arrow had just been flung.” Her cheeks were still wet with tears that never seemed to stop, purple bruises blooming on her porcelain skin.
How can I save you?
Closing his eyes, Eren leaned in and planted a tender kiss on the spot between her eyebrows. The lady stirred a little in her sleep and he reciprocated with a smile.
“Our love, a love sublime.”
***
“All right, now let’s get down to business,” Theo Magath stated, blinking Eren away from his thoughts. “Our witnesses claimed that there were a bunch of Eldians trying to steal something from our storage room last night. We’re gonna find out who they are.”
Eren felt an eerie feeling swirling in his gut. These last few days have felt like the sweetest dream that he staggered as he stepped back int
↪content; warrior!reader, aged-up character, graphic description of violence, slow burn, season 4 spoiler
“T-Thank you, sir!”
He stuttered out and bowed a little to the soldier who gave him five loaves of bread. Though the older man did not acknowledge his gratitude at all, instead he just sneered at him, making him flinch since he was reminded of the fact that this island filled with demons.
His long feet stride out from the line, wanting to get back to where his friends waited. Today it was his duty to get the food for his companions, and it needed all of his courage to utter how many people in his family were left when the soldier asked him.
Four, it was the right answer that he was supposed to say. But he couldn’t help but stutter five instead. It had only been a few weeks after they breached the outer wall, Maria, and yet he still couldn’t believe that it was only the four of them now.
Each of them was grieving. Annie would now scowl a lot and buried her face in her hands, not wanting anyone to see the vulnerable look on her face. Reiner was different, he tried to act tough despite the nightmares that often accompanied him in his sleep. While him? He hid his sadness and pain deep inside his heart because he knew that someone suffered more.
You, you didn’t talk at all for days as if you were just their shadows. Annie made sure that you were not hurt when he and Reiner crushed the gate. And even though you were not uttering any words, you could do your task ideally without a hitch, and that was to sneak inside with battered clothes, acting like a child who lost everything.
But maybe you were indeed lost everything, that was what he thought when he saw you just staring into spaces without any expression on your face. The bubbly and warm person that he met back then in Marley was nowhere to be found at this point and he hoped that someday he could meet her again.
When his pale green eyes fell to the familiar strands of your hair, he started to run, wanting to give you the bread for today since the sun was up for hours yet no one ate anything just yet. The shelter where all of them were hiding was an abandoned barn just outside the main city, no one knew who the owner of it was, but when Reiner found it empty, they decided to use it as a temporary house.
They just needed to survive for a few years and they could enroll in the military after that. But now they had to make a plan about what they should do in the meantime. Now they were just four orphans who lost everything from wall Maria. A few days ago a soldier gave them a form to fill out, consisting of some questions about names, birth, and the residence they used to live in before.
And that was the first time he heard your voice after weeks wallowing yourself in silence. When Marcel was alive, he told you that you needed to change your last name. Just for a disguise, it was the safest option because who would have expected if someone knew the weight of your name.
“No.” You whispered out, one hand scribbling down the paper to write your name. “I am not going to lose my identity. No.” There was a lingering pain in your voice that everyone could notice. “I will do anything, Reiner, but not this. This is my last name and I will lose it if someone takes it away from me.”
The blonde frowned when he heard your rebellion, you seemed fine when Marcel asked you to do that back then, but now you changed your mind and he wished he knew the words that could sway you. You continued to write down your information without stopping while the boys stared at you with wonder.
Annie knew that you couldn’t be forced to do something that you wouldn’t do, so she just shrugged it off and focused on her paper, not wanting to spend her time filling forms if she could do it fast. She really thought Reiner would drop it after hearing your statement, but sometimes he just didn’t know when to stop.
“Hey, but Marcel would tell you to do the same.”
Bertolt could imagine his friend getting beaten up again at this point. But this time not from Annie, instead, he would get it from you who was now gripping so tight on the pencil that he was afraid you would stab the armoured titan inheritor on the neck with it.
“That’s the thing, Braun.” You gritted your teeth, avoiding yourself for kicking him on the face. And when the poor boy heard you called him by his last name, he knew that he was done for good. “Marcel is not here anymore, and you are not Marcel.”
Bertolt made a note on his head that he would never want to get on your bad side. He felt a shiver down his spine at that time when you completely disregarded Reiner, and those words were not even for him. He couldn’t imagine what his friend felt, must be hell for sure.
“Hey, I-I got the food for us today.” Stopping on his track right in front of you. You were currently cleaning up the dust on the window, he recalled you said that you despised dirty windowpane last night, and he raised his eyebrow since he wondered how you got some clothes to clean it up with.
“Thank you, Bertolt.” You gave him a soft smile, and from just that gesture he could feel his cheek burning from — goodness, he didn’t even know what he was feeling right now. “Oh? You got five? How?” He was still in a trance when you threw the question, making him baffled for a second there.
“I said that there were five members in my family.” He averted his eyes, ashamed to confess that to you. That and the fact he would see the sadness inside your eyes if he did so.“I didn’t mean to, really, b-but I only realised it after the soldier gave the portion to me.”
“Oh, Bertolt.” You let out a long sigh and grabbed two pieces of bread from his hand. “You know you could correct yourself after that, right?” He knew that you were scolding him, but with how soft your voice was, he just accepted it, not even once trying to correct himself. “I will give it back to the soldier, okay? You go inside, Reiner and Annie are waiting for you.”
“But shouldn’t you eat first?” He was concerned for sure, and despite knowing the fact that you could handle this harsh world by yourself, he was not sure if it was the right choice to let you go alone. “I can drop this off to them and I can accompany you, right?”
You chuckled at this, and his pupils widened at that since it was the first time you expressed some kind of joyful gesture since Marcel’s incident. Your eyes closed as you chuckled at him, he didn’t know what he did to make you like this but his brain short-circuited to even think about it. He just stood there with mouth agape, enjoying the pure, melodious giggle that slipped from your mouth.
“Bertolt,” And how much he loved his name rolled down your tongue was uncanny. “It’s okay, I will eat mine on the way. And I can handle myself, I am going to be back before you know it! You don’t have to be concerned about me.” You gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder, and his body went rigid at that. “See you later, tell the others where I am going, okay?”
He was too frozen in the spot even when you already strolled down the street with the loaves of bread in your hand. There was no time for him to answer you, and he felt like all the words were stuck in his throat. You just touched him, that was the only thing that he could process right now.
Yes, it was nothing special since you always held Pieck’s hand back then or gave a pat to the other warrior candidates (especially Porco, for as long as he remembered even though the boy seemed to dislike your presence and unfazed by it), but to him, feeling your touch like that was everything.
It gave him some kind of boost, maybe it was the warm tingle that he felt whenever you were around or the fact that your existence just screamed comfort — he didn’t know exactly what caused him to treasure your touch. What he knew for sure that in the end, he enjoyed your company.
“Oi, Bertolt! Why are you standing there like a statue?!”
“S-Sorry, Reiner—”
〄
The wind caressed your hair as you wandered down the street, turning left and right to the alleyway that would lead you to the plaza. This place had been your home for a few weeks now, and you started to enjoy living here, greeting some people here and there despite how many times Reiner told you not to.
They would ask, of course, where you were from. And you always answered it without hesitation, without a pause, as if the one who talked was an entirely different person with how you always lost all the light in your face when you gave them your answer. They would sympathize, and you took their pity and kept acting it out.
You had a different approach in this mission compared to the other warrior. While they decided to keep a low profile, you were going all out and showed yourself as a victim from the fall of wall Maria. Lots of benefits coming your way with how some adults asked you to move in with them or offering you a job so you could fend for yourself.
Their offers were always so sweet, but you didn’t want to leave your friends inside a cold barn with nothing to lay on except the pile of hay. You always ended up cuddling with Annie, not caring that she wanted to kick you on the face at first for not giving her enough space, she ended up liking to sleep in your embrace days after that, so for you, it was all worth it.
Maybe though, their offer about working for them could help you. There were some of them and you sure at least one of the jobs had good earnings. You could buy food for your friends if that was the case, all of you didn’t have to rely on free food anymore. And so, you decided that you would go to the adult near the plaza after this, asking if the offer was still up.
“I am sorry! It was already late and there was only one bread left for us!”
Your ears caught the distressed tone that came from the alleyway near you. The plaza was empty now since it seemed like the ration already finished for the day. To know that a lot of people couldn’t even have one bread to eat made your stomach churned with guilt and anger for yourself.
“It’s alright, Armin. We can share it.”
“Yeah, it’s not like I eat a lot anyway.”
There were three of them, three children that looked like they were the same age as you, and they only got one piece of bread for the whole day. Knowing that the soldier was not there anymore and the commotion already dispersed, you decided to give the bread to them instead.
Your tiny feet waddled toward them, they were currently deep in thought about how to divide the food fairly. And you were thankful that you haven’t eaten your fair of bread, so now each of the kids could have one.
“Excuse me,” You interrupted their discussion, three pairs of eyes immediately turned to face you. Two of them looked at you with confusion while the other one had her eyes filled with caution. “I am sorry, I heard about your problem before, and I have two extra pieces of bread that you guys could take.”
The two boys, one with blonde hair and the other with short dark brown hair — looked at each other without saying anything. It was like they had this kind of bond, talking through their minds before giving each other a nod. Maybe they were debating if it was alright to accept your hospitality or not.
“It’s fine, but is this bread really alright for us to take?” The boy with the ocean blue eyes spoke up, taking one step forward to your figure. “What about you then, have you eaten yet today?”
“Yes, it’s fine. If not, I am not going to offer it in the first place.” You gave him a gentle smile before answering his next question a little bit too quickly to your liking. “Don’t worry about me! I already got breakfast before and ate mine. You don’t have to think—”
“You are lying.” The girl that had been silent the whole time suddenly cut your sentence. “Don’t tell me I am wrong because I am sure that I am right.” She didn’t sugarcoat her words at all, and you couldn’t understand anymore if her words mean good or bad. Because surely her onyx orbs looked at you as if you were a threat.
You closed your eyes and exhaled loudly, knowing that you couldn’t lie anymore with how sharp the three of them were. But this fact wouldn’t stop you from wanting them to take your fair.
“Well, yes, I haven’t eaten.” Surrendering yourself to honesty, you continued. “But I am going to be fine, an adult in this shop near the plaza offered me a job and food, so I could get it from them after this.” You explained truthfully, handing them the bread thereafter.
“Then how come you had extra bread in the first place?” The short-haired boy now squinting his eyes, wanting to understand your hidden motive in case there were any. “You had one for yourself too despite knowing that you could get food from this adult you told us about. So why should we trust you?”
“Eren!”
Ah, so the boy’s name is Eren. You thought, couldn’t believe that someone would even doubt the others for giving free food. But then again, you couldn’t blame them for being extra cautious. No one knew what could happen inside these walls. The worst-case scenario from this was that you poisoned them to get rid of another life to prevent any more hunger.
“You don’t have to trust me, of course.” You answered him with a soft and calm tone, something that you learned from your house back in Marley. That even when someone raised their voice at you, you needed to handle them with care. “My friend was the one who got the food from me, and he didn’t check that he got extra food, so I am here with the first mission to give it back to the garrison soldier.”
You gave them the answer that they want, both hands still pushed forward, waiting for them to take it. “Promise I wouldn’t disturb you anymore, I just want to make sure you guys get enough food. That’s all.”
There was a long silence engulfing the four of you. That was until the blonde took the bread out of your hand and gave you a smile of gratitude, which you answered with the same gesture as him. The other two were now looking at you with a softened gaze, finally stripping away their caution towards you.
“I am sorry that I sounded rude before.” The brunette started, giving you a cheeky smile as his ears tinted with a pinkish hue. “I just need to be careful around strangers, everything just messed up at this time, you know?” He chuckled bitterly, his eyes darkening as if a terrible memory fleeting through his mind for a second.
“It’s fine. I know where that thought is coming from.” You kicked the pebbles near your foot before, making it bounce to the wall as you looked down. “Everything is just a nightmare after the breach.” And you tried so hard not to break down, not in front of anyone, especially those who were the victim of your action. “All of you — didn’t deserve any of it.”
Your voice that was so warm and comforting before now turned into a completely different tone. There was sadness, at least that was what they could hear from you. They couldn’t see the expression in your eyes since you persisted in looking down at your feet, avoiding their gaze at all cost.
“And you didn’t deserve it too.”
The blonde, that if you recalled from before was called Armin, telling you words that you thought you wouldn’t need to hear. “No one wanted this to happen, no one deserved to live like this.” He continued, and you were ready to crumble even more. “But this is our life, for now, so we can’t do anything else but move on.”
You wanted to get down on your knees, hugging his legs as you begged for forgiveness. Just like what you saw in some of the memories from your ancestors, there were just normal human beings inside these walls. Just like in Marley, just like on the other continent, there were good and bad people, and nothing differentiated them except the fact that they had a titan’s blood flowing inside their veins.
Nothing else but that — and the dangerous truth that lies within the walls.
“It’s called rumbling, right?”
Just one month from now, you were going to inherit the war hammer titan, and you have been studying a lot, reading the journal that your ancestor wrote. The book was so helpful, preparing you to know the truth that this world had to hide. Sometimes your twelve years old brain could not even understand it.
The past few years you had been training hard privately. You got the best instructor, honing your mental and physical build at the same time. But since you reached the age of ten, your father introduced you to Commander Magath who was in charge of the Warrior Unit, the unit for those titan inheritors.
And you trained with them ever since then. Creating a bond and friendship to those who would fight alongside you in the upcoming battle. The majority of them were easy to talk with like Marcel, Pieck, Zeke, Reiner, and Bertolt. While the rest — not so much.
Annie was fine though, she still talked to you here and there and taught you about some certain techniques of hand-to-hand combat that you deemed remarkably useful. Porco on the other hand, you wanted to grimace at the interaction that you had with him. Yet despite all that, you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling for just thinking about him.
But this moment was not the right time to reminisce about the warrior training, not when a few months from now, you would embark on a mission to reclaim the founding titan.
“Yes, when the founding titan decided to unharden the walls and released millions of colossal titan, it was called rumbling.” Your father sat across from where you were, filling out papers from the military about you. “If that happened, the whole world would turn into nothing.”
You gave a nod of acknowledgement, fingers tracing the ink that seeped on the worn-out paper journal.
“So it was risky to let the founding titan stay in Paradis since no one knew if someday they would activate the rumbling or not.” You stated the sentence as a matter of factly, absorbing the information that sometimes made your head pound. “It was risky since they closed themselves inside those walls and no one knew what happened there.”
“Yes, my dear.” His voice cracked like any other time, having so much burden for throwing you to the frontline of the battle like that. You, his little star, his precious daughter that he never wanted to turn her into a war machine that could only live for thirteen years. “That is why you need to prevent it from happening.”
But it was something that needed to be done — and there was nothing that you could do except embracing the cruel truth like an old friend.
“Yes, you are right.” Fixing your composure, you were back to the kind girl from before. “Thank you for telling me that, I think I need it.” You chuckled softly, fingers tucking the strands of your hair behind the ear. “I-I will go now, then. Hope all of you survive and continue on living!”
Bowing yourself a little before departing (a trait that you couldn’t shake off that easily), you waved at them and turned your heels, walking away from the three children that you really hoped would have a beautiful life ahead, for as long as they could have.
“Wait!” But you halted your feet to move forward when you heard Eren’s voice calling out for you.
“Yes? What is it?” You were still not that far from them, so you decided to use your normal volume as if they were still right in front of you.
“We haven’t got your name!” Yet despite how calm you were, the boy seemed to choose to shout at you anyway. “I am Eren! This is Armin and Mikasa, they are everything that I had left! Now, what’s yours?!”
Hearing how excited he was made you giggle, such a complete opposite for real compared to him a few minutes ago when he looked at you with caution. Now he became the child he was supposed to be, with a wide grin on his face as he just wanted to know the name of his probably new friend.
And so you indulged him with it, answering his question with a clear and solid tone.
“It’s (Y/n)!” You decided to shout back, equaling his enthusiasm. “(Y/n), (Y/n) Tybur!”
↪content; canon universe, description of violence, season 4 spoiler, forbidden love, marleyan!reader, scouts!jean, chapter 139 spoiler
You stopped whatever you were doing in an instant, both hands freezing midair as a flock of birds suddenly landed beside you. That was strange, you never saw this type of bird flying around your house before. Those birds had silky white feathers and beady black eyes, some had their gaze fixated on you.
But then again, perhaps you shouldn’t have been surprised that you never saw them before.
It was not like you have been living here for years, no. For the last three years, you were here as a new citizen in a world where the fear of titans finally gone. Everything was at peace for years as this newborn country strengthened its military — under the command of the Queen.
Yes, the Queen, Historia Reiss. Never once you ever thought you would be living here of all places in the world, tending flower beds and watering plants. A Marleyan like you, the mortal enemy of those Eldians somehow slipped inside the society and even lived inside the innermost part of the country.
You lived in prime real estate located in the countryside; a medium-sized house with huge land, different compared to those gigantic and majestic buildings in the downtown area. The atmosphere was unique and you preferred this kind of house instead of the luxurious, blinding one. For you, this is home, and you couldn’t wait to share it with your lover.
“(Y/n)! Don’t stay too long in the garden!”
A familiar shout rang through the open area, making you turn your head to face them. She stood there with her comfortable white dress, maroon-coloured apron draped in front of her figure to make sure that any specks of dirt didn’t smear her dress while her brown hair sticking out from her tight ponytail.
“I will be there in a few minutes, Ma!”
You shouted back at the top of your lungs, knowing full well that her hearing was not as sharp as yours. She just shook her head in amusement at your answer since she could predict already that your few minutes could turn to an hour or even more. Just a habit of yours, though she wouldn’t force you to stop since it took your mind off things.
Just as she did by cooking some omelette and comfort foods as she too — waiting for someone to come back.
She had a separate house near the Queen’s residence, assigned there by her majesty herself. But ever since you knocked on her front door and introduced yourself to her, she decided that it would be better if she lived with you for a while, at least until her son came back. Until your love came back to your arms once again.
There were letters after letters being shared despite how out of reach he was from you. You lived every day in hope that his mission to make peace with the outside world resulted in success. Lots of prayers have been sung to whatever deity existed in this world, never once stopped for every day you woke up.
And today was just like any other day as you waited for him by occupying yourself with daily chores and a new hobby. You used to wake up to strategize the next move and train in the military, being a normal citizen was still a little bit bizarre for you.
Though you already told the Queen that if in case she needed assistance regarding the air force, you would be ready to be called.
Yet three years had passed ever since your arrival, and never once she called you to the military. You had a gut feeling that your lover might have something to do with it, so you could only hope he didn’t try to pull any strings behind your back and become the reason why you were never once interrupted.
Well, it was not like you didn’t want this. When you finally wake up without fear, without being afraid that you had to see another bloodshed, without being afraid to love whoever you wanted to love. This was the world that you have been dreaming of, so maybe, it’s fine to just enjoy it as long as you can.
Your fingers used to be covered with blood, now only covered with dirt and soil. Sometimes you couldn’t believe it yourself as you were afraid to go to sleep, not wanting to wake up and realise all of this was just a dream.
But it was not a dream.
It was all real — ever since that day.
Your whole body felt so numb as you stared into the distance, back leaning to the old building behind you, not understanding what actually unfurled in front of your eyes right now.
Everything was still replayed so vividly in your mind. His ash-brown strands dishevelled from the war he had been partaking of, chocolate orbs that filled with love and regret as he took another look at you, his voice — oh his deep, comforting voice that sung like a lullaby every time he spoke.
And then bright yellow light blinded your vision.
The impact of the explosion threw you off, back arching as your body hit a concrete wall. Your vision blurred, your head pounding from the impact. But you could still see the gigantic feet right in front of you — gigantic feet that belong to a titan, replacing where your lover once stood.
You saw it, the long, familiar strands of hair that you loved to caress, those eyes that now turned into the darkest shade of brown stared at you with an emotion that you couldn’t fathom. Then he jerked his head to the other side, jumping off the cliff with the other titans like a puppet whose strings were pulled.
There goes your love, that is what you already believe. Everyone knew about how once someone turned into a mindless titan, there was no way for them to change back as a human except if they ate the nine titan inheritor. And you didn’t put any hope over that, just slumping your body and surrendering yourself to the situation.
You didn’t know since when you drifted off somewhere as black filled your vision. But in your mind, you see him standing in front of you as he reaches out his hand for you to take. In your dream, you saw him playing around the backyard with a little kid that looked so familiar with him. In perhaps a distant future, you welcomed him home after a day full of hard work.
Then you opened up your eyes, disappointed as it was the same as what you saw before. The blistering heat attacked whoever was unfortunate enough to be outside right now, dealing with the monstrous creature as the fate of the world was in their hands.
But it was silent now, the roar of those mindless titans, booming footsteps that rumbling the ground, two enormous titans who fought each other before — it all stopped and gone as the only thing that welcomed you was a quiet, somewhat peaceful atmosphere.
With your legs still wobbling from the impact before, you looked around as you wondered what happened now. Finding no one in sight, not even from the Marleyan Military made you raise your eyebrows in confusion. Was it all done? The war between Eren Yeager and the alliance of Paradis and Marley? What happened now and where are they?
There were so many questions popping in your head as you forced yourself to check out the land near Fort Salta, finding some of your troops pointing all of their guns to the Eldians that somehow — turned back into a human.
That was the only thing you needed before you ran to where they were, ignoring the pain that surged your body for every movement that you made. You were fine, this couldn’t stop you from knowing the truth, this would never stop you from reaching out to the Eldian, to someone that introduced you to what it felt like to love someone.
Surely the Marleyan was just bluffing, you knew that all of the guns were already shot towards the sky before. But there was a possibility that they had another, and you couldn’t bear to see another bloodshed, not when you felt like there was no need to continue this war if the main enemy was already gone.
“If we did still have the power of the titans, wouldn’t we be using it to resist you?” Ah, was it true? That titan power was already gone for good from this world? “But the fact that we continue to be powerless even as you point your guns at us is the greatest possible proof of our humanity.”
He made sense, even as you stopped a few steps behind the Marleyan Military, you could hear the sincerity from his words. Yet somehow, your race still couldn’t accept the fact, not daring to lower their gun just yet. You couldn’t really blame them for doing so, knowing how much terror that they have seen just for the last couple of hours.
So you stood forward, dragging your feet as you ignored the surprised gasp from your troops.
“Everyone, drop your guns to the ground.” You still couldn’t hear any movement as you said so, and you clicked your tongue over that. “Now!”
Then one by one, you heard how the metal weapon fell to the ground like a symbol of peace. There were around twenty troops behind you, the survivors of the explosion before, the only people who lived from Marleyan Military after such a horrendous event. And they obeyed your command, believing in you that you would make the right choice.
You turned to look at your troops, giving them a reassuring gaze one by one that from now on, everything would be alright. Some of them were crying, some of them fell to the ground as they screamed out, out of frustration or relief for being alive, you couldn’t differentiate it anymore, maybe a bit of both.
Your job was done, for now, so you had to know what happened. You needed to know who was the man who stood in front of you now as his ocean blue eyes gazing at you with respect and gratitude. He gave you a firm nod, and you followed after as you straightened your posture.
“Then, who are you?”
“I am Armin Arlert, an Eldian from the island of Paradis. The man who killed Eren Yeager, the attack titan.”
The way he said it was absolute. Certainty was there and somehow you wanted to just let your sore body fall to the ground as relief started to fill your heart. But not yet, you had to be the commander of the air force unit, probably the only higher-ups left in the military here.
“Greetings then, Armin Arlert.” You started, giving him a Marleyan salute as he answered it by balling his right hand into a fist, resting it right in front of his heart after that. “I am the commander of the air force unit of Marleyan Military, my troops and I would do anything we could do to assist everyone here.”
For the next few hours, everyone who was healthy enough was assigned to take care of those who had injuries or any other casualties. You as the commander, trying to call and inform the military base in the capital. Solace flooded over you once again when you received the news that more than a half part of Marley was still intact.
You immediately called for backup, informing them to tell the whole world what happened in Fort Salta. This needed to be distributed now, that they didn’t have to worry anymore, that the world was finally free from titans. You told them all the little details about those who fought in the battle, you told them that it was thanks to the Eldians themselves that the rumbling stopped.
“It’s…” You trailed off as the chief on the other line asked you the name of the war that shook the world just now. “It’s the battle of heaven and earth.”
Today marked the three years of the world’s victory against titans. Eldians finally freed from the curse and lived a normal life like humanity in the rest of the world. Though, of course, doubt and fear still lingered in the heart of the people. That was why those soldiers who directly fought with the attack titan became the ambassador of peace, travelling around the world to tell their stories.
They were the ones who lived, the heroes who chose to fight humanity who always treated their race like an insect. They were those who chose humanity over their own life, the ones who cast their feelings aside and killed their best friend because that was the right thing to do.
And your lover was one of them, he was an Eldian, a soldier who was ready to sacrifice his life in war.
Jean Kirstein, the man that you met in a bar back then in Marley, the only person who could make you feel so bare as he painted you with affection.
The person who you would wait a thousand years if you had to, so long so you could be together.
You subconsciously touched your left fingers, tracing your coarse skin as you absentmindedly remembered the reunion that you had with him. Not the one where he shouted at you to stay back, not the one where it filled with painful tears as you saw him transformed into a titan in front of your eyes.
But it was the one that made you feel so full. After calling the capital and making sure the Eldian would be treated fairly, you finally could take a breather and sit just outside the tower in Fort Salta. The sun slowly turned into an orange hue that time, your body was all aching as the adrenaline from before started to wear off.
You didn’t turn your face away from the horizon as you felt someone sat beside you on the ground, not saying anything for the next couple of minutes as you and the mysterious figure just basked yourself on the peaceful atmosphere, something that was never there with how war and violence always filled the ground.
The orange hue slowly reddened as the sun hid behind the mountain, letting the moon take over with thousands of stars adorned the night sky.
There were no words being spoken as two bodies decided to scoot closer to each other as if there were strings that bound them together. You dropped your head on his shoulder, letting out a long sigh as the realisation finally sank in.
“I am back, (Y/n).” His voice was still filled with disbelief. “Just like what I promised you.” But it sounds the same as how it used to, lingering with something that you knew as love.
You lifted your head a little, wanting to take a look at him and scrutinizing his face. He was here, Jean Kirstein in a flesh. He was not a titan anymore, he was just an Eldian from the island of Paradis, a normal human, just like you.
There was a dingling sound as he fetched something from his pocket, your eyes never left his as you felt a warm metal slipped on your palm. He closed your hand after that, wanting you to know that he was real, that he finally could give back the silver key that he brought with him ever since in Marley.
You felt like you wanted to burst at the moment. You wanted to cry, screaming at him for fighting the attack titan despite being a mere soldier who didn’t even inherit the nine titans, you wanted to ask how he felt right now and what actually happened, there was so much that you wanted to say, so many words that you wanted to tell him.
But there would be a time for that, you were certain that you would have a lot of time after all of these were done.
So you just curled your lips into a smile, orbs glistening with tears as it shone with adoration, palm gripping the key a little tighter with his hand on top of yours.
“Welcome back, Jean.”
You patted the excess of the dirt in your hand on your black apron, finally done repotting some of the plants. When your eyes fleeted to the side, you tilted your head in confusion as the bird from before was still there, so loyal as it accompanied you for the last hour.
This one was different compared to the others. The birds that you saw before only had one solid colour, but this one that stayed with you had brown feathers on some of their features.
The bird just looked at you with wonder, tilting their head to the side as they jumped from the flower bed and landed beside you. Your lips immediately shaped into a smile, wondering why the bird decided to stay with you when the others left already.
“Hey, what are you doing here?”
You cooed at the bird, careful not to move your body too abruptly, afraid that they would fly again. Of course, you didn’t expect them to chirp, but maybe you could talk to them a little. And you could write it down in the letter that you sent for Jean later on.
“I don’t know why you are here, but don’t you think you should go back though?”
Those beady black orbs fell upon your face as if they understood your words. “You must have a family, right? Perhaps maybe a lover?” So you decided to keep on talking, throwing some random questions, conversing with them like an old friend. “Bet your lover is so beautiful like you, and they must be waiting for you, you know?”
“Like you wait for me?”
Silence. On the first second, the bird was in front of you. But now, they flapped their wings and flew, leaving you there with both pupils widened as a familiar voice rang through your ear. You didn’t understand why they suddenly left, but maybe, maybe it was because of the fact that you were not alone anymore.
That maybe because they knew your lover came back.
And so they would do the same and flew to where their lover was.
“Jean?”
No, he was not supposed to be here. From the letters that you got last week, he was supposed to be in Marley right now with the others. He told you that through the words that he scribbled down on the old paper, and you remembered how he would come back next month.
But of course, your eyes wouldn’t deceive you, of course, your ear could never catch the exact voice that belonged to him if he was not really here.
He stood around five feet apart from you with a cheeky smile that made you want to just slap it away from his beautiful face. His ash-brown locks slightly got longer, looking neat despite the wind that swayed some strands of his hair, and you wondered how many times he combed his hair to make it look like that.
Though you didn’t care about it, you didn’t care about how he was here right now when you were certain he should have been somewhere else. You didn’t care that you stumbled on some of the gardening tools as you ran towards him. You didn’t care if your apron could leave some dirt on his expensive suit.
What you cared right now as your feet brought you closer to him — was to feel his embrace once more.
You jumped right into his arms, chin resting on his shoulder as you wrapped your arms around his neck, not wanting to let go. Right now, you just wanted to shout and announce to the world that you wanted him for yourself, at least for just a few minutes, at least for a moment.
Everyone could call you selfish at this point you didn’t care anymore. For all your life you never wanted anything but a world without fear. And now as you achieved it, the only matter that could complete it was to spend it all with the one that somehow had half of your heart anywhere he goes.
You have waited for him for far too long. You always waited for him afraid that he wouldn’t come back to your apartment, you always waited for him with distress lingering at the back of your mind that he was not alive anymore when he was there on the other side of the sea.
But now as you felt the warmth within his touch, now as you felt his smile as his lips planted on the side of your face, you finally knew how it feels to live in a world without fear since from now on, you were free to love him.
He was too — free to love you as his real self, an Eldian, a war hero, Jean Kirstein from the island of Paradis.
“I am home.”
And as the two bodies basked in the warmth of a loved one, hand intertwined that clashed a silver metal band next to each other, they both knew that from now on — they were going to wake up every single morning and live their dream.
In a world where there was no fear, spending it in prime real estate with a significant other.
Earning the right to live a happy life for hopefully, a long time.
↪content; warrior!reader, aged-up character, graphic description of violence, slow burn, season 4 spoiler
Tiny footsteps belonging to you echoed throughout the empty hallway. Your forehead scrunched as a bead of sweat trailed down your skin, but you dismissed the discomfort as you needed to find your father, wanting some explanation.
It was around four in the afternoon, and you were certain that your father must be occupying himself inside his study, probably enjoying his coffee as he read some reports regarding the military advance. You always wondered why he got all of that information even though he was not even in the military, but perhaps the book in your hand was the answer to your question, and you had to find out more.
You were used to running around this part of the mansion — since you would spend some of your time here with your father when he didn’t invite the military higher-ups or some of his business partners for a meeting together. Truthfully, you could have waited for later after dinner to confront him, but your mind was already fueled with curiosity that wouldn’t die without being given the right extinguisher.
So you scurry out within an instant, far from the east wing where the library was located to the west where your father would entertain his friends and colleagues. In your small journey, you took off your mules and ran barefoot, ignoring the gasp from the maid that you passed in the hallway.
Panting, you felt the exhaustion course through your body as you finally reached your destination. Some eyes regarded you with worry beneath their intimidating gaze, but they knew that you had been running out of breath before, certain that it was nothing serious.
Two guards were standing tall on each side of the door, guarding your father’s study against the outside, and you were certain there were another two on the other side of the door. They didn’t give you any attention or warning, so you knew that he was not in some kind of meeting or too engrossed with work.
Sucking a deep breath, you hide the book that you found behind your back before raising your hand to the wooden door, knocking it with your knuckles several times, soft yet enough that it would echo inside the room. You heard the rustling of papers, probably from some of the military letters that he read.
“Name and busi—”
“It’s me, pa!”
Your voice cut him off in a gleeful manner, holding yourself from bursting hundreds of questions. If you wanted to know the truth, you needed to play your cards right. Well, what could a six years old girl do? Anything of course, especially if you were the only child (for now) and your parents loved you like you were their stars in the night sky.
You tried to hide your smirk when you heard the audible ‘click’ coming from the inside, followed by the door opening simultaneously. The sun penetrated through the windows, lighting up the whole room and the hallway behind you. A pleasant smell of cedarwood filled your nostrils in an instant, the unique scent that you knew embedded on your father’s suit too since he spent the majority of his time here.
There was a massive round table in the middle of the room, one where you like to sit when your father was busy with work but wanted your company. You would sit there without a care and boredom since your nose mostly touched the paper book in your hand, too engrossed with whatever literature that you could find within his study.
You didn’t need to go back and forth from the east wing and grabbed some books there. Your father studies already engaging enough with a wide variety of history, self-improvement, and many other philosophy books. The room would be engulfed with silence if that happened, but the atmosphere was serene and comforting to both of you, making times fly past naturally and just felt right.
“Well, isn’t it my precious daughter?” He stood up from his plush leather chair, dark yet warm eyes never left your figure as you skipped toward where he was. His lips shaped into a gentle smile as he watched how giddy you looked right now, with both hands on your back as if you had a surprise for him.
It was indeed a surprise, but whether he liked it or not was another story.
“Pa, I need to speak with you!” Your bubbly personality was always so endearing. You were witty, smart, wise — his little rascal but still had a personality like a noble lady when needed.
“And what do you want to talk to me about, my little star?” He walked closer before kneeling in front of you, levelling his eyes with yours. “Something serious? Something playful? Or maybe you just want to talk to me since you missed your pa so much?” His smile turned into a little smirk, raising one of his eyebrows in a teasing manner.
You jutted your lips at his question as your hands clench tighter on the brown books that you found before. Your father waited for any kind of explanation, but you didn’t open up your mouth, not even a little. But you suddenly averted your gaze away, pupils shifting back and forth.
He blinked, trying to understand what it was that you wanted. Your father then looked past you, finding the guards inside the room. It left a question inside his mind at the moment, because you never once needed to talk alone as you always threw questions at him without caring if anybody heard.
This would be the first time, and he decided to indulge you with it.
“Guards, you can wait outside.”
“Sir, with all due respect—”
“Please.”
The two guards looked at each other before giving your father a salute, answered with a firm nod from him. You stood still with your eyes closed as you waited until the sound of footsteps started to fade, not realizing the scrutinizing look that he threw at you. The second you heard a gentle thud echoed in the room, you let out a breath that you subconsciously held.
You were alone now, with your father waiting for any syllables to come out from your lips. A few seconds ago you were so eager, ready to burst out all of the questions that popped inside your mind. But now, as he gazed at you with a look that you couldn’t fathom, you started to rethink your decision.
Would he mad at you for reading the book that he strictly said was forbidden to read? He always kept it inside a glass compartment, telling you that it was filled with a history of mankind. The truth that someday he would tell you. So would he be angry if you knew it now instead of later?
“You read the journal, my star?” You subconsciously dropped the book as you never thought he could see through you like that. Your hands were shaking behind your back before you tightly grip your bow’s dress, fearing that he would not let you walk inside the library ever again.
Seeing the distress in your eyes, he immediately rested his hand on your shoulder, squeezing it gently as if to make sure that you didn’t have to be afraid. That whatever you did, you always became his little star, the daughter that he loved so much. “It’s alright, sooner or later I will tell you all of it.”
His voice was calm as he picked up the book from behind you, opening it right in front of your face as he checked that in case some pages were wrinkled. You still kept your mouth shut, waiting for him to say something more — because for sure his words before were still not enough to calm yourself.
When he looked at you again, you were averting his gaze and decided to look down. So he closed the book and reached out for you, holding your much smaller hand as he brought you toward his desk. The silence was deafening as he didn’t say anything afterwards, making you have to focus on the footsteps to dwindle your concern.
His hand was warm as it engulfed yours, squeezing it softly here and there as he plopped himself to his chair. With how light you were, he picked you up and tucked you gently on his lap, wanting to make sure that you were comfortable since it would take some time to explain everything to you.
“Now, can you tell me what you already know so far?”
It was now that you finally dared to look up, curious about the expression on his face. You should have known that your father wouldn’t be angry at you, he couldn’t, at least not towards you. His face didn’t even show any sign of resentment, he just sat there, looking down, and waited until you were ready to talk.
“Almost everything, I guess.” You finally dared to speak up, yet it still sounded so timid. “That King Fritz was not our enemy, it was thanks to him that the war is over.” Continuing your words, you swallowed a huge lump. “And those people on the island, they are not demons, but they are exactly like—”
“Us.”
He finished your word without pause, knowing what you were going to say next like he always did. Your forehead scrunched at this, lips turned into a scowl as you tried to understand the world that you live in right now. All the war, the hatred that Eldians received inside the internment zone, if only this true story was out in the public then they wouldn’t get treated like that, right?
“B-But why do we hide this information, then?” You croaked out, not believing that your family concealed such truth. “If people knew that King Fritz was the one who wanted peace, if only the whole world knew that Eldians did not want anything but to live like a normal human, they were not going to be treated like this, pa!”
You were begging right now, needing some answer that could justify the choice they made. It felt awful, like someone had put a blindfold on you all your life, whispering to you that the world filled with hatred and that because of your ancestors, because of the blood that flows inside your veins and there was nothing else that you could do except living through the brutal knowledge.
But it was all a lie, because your family could have made a change in this world yet didn’t do anything about it.
Your father just sat there, listening to your cries and complaints. He knew from the start that you were someone that would do anything for Eldians to be free, he often saw you sneaking around and talked to the maids, after all, questioning about how their children were at home and many other mundane things.
He didn’t have the courage to tell you, the reason why he kept the information to himself when he was warned by the current inheritor. He didn’t have the courage to tell you what lies across the sea, what slept inside the walls that the king had made. As your father, he didn’t want his six years old innocent daughter to know that the fate of the world was in their hands — the Eldian.
His lips turned into a frown as he realized. No matter how much he wanted to protect you from this cruel world, no matter how much he just wanted you to live and be happy without a burden on your shoulder, he couldn’t grant his wish.
Because soon, you would be the one in the family who held the biggest responsibility.
“You would know soon enough, my little star.” He gulped down, dark orbs gazing at your face as he was so tormented from this fact only. Your beady eyes shone under the orange hue that slipped through the large windows, making you look even more innocent, an angel to him and his wife as he cradled you like this on his lap.
Soon, and he needed to start telling you now how much weight you would carry throughout your life. “Once you inherit the war hammer titan.”
“Wake up!”
You sat up straight as you tried to inhale the air bit by bit, feeling like your dreams that you had just stolen the oxygen out of your lungs. No, it was not a dream, it was a memory that you had with your father. The day when you knew the truth, the day when you knew your responsibility and how you needed to keep a blind eye over it.
And for sure, hiding the fact from everyone was the hardest part. Especially when you had these people you called friends as you invaded the island of Paradis with the mission to take back the founding titan. You wanted to tell them the danger, or how the people inside the wall were not as different from those in Liberio.
But you had made a vow to your father to keep your lips sealed, no matter how much you wanted to share it. And you were not going to break that promise, not when you knew there was a high possibility that you wouldn’t make it back alive.
“I am sorry, I should have been more gentle.” Your gaze still cast down your lap, wanting to control your emotion first before interacting with the other warrior. “Nightmare?” But his gentle, mature voice was so endearing you couldn’t help but lookup.
His forehead scrunched in worry as you realized that he squatted down right in front of you. Large hazel eyes scrutinizing your every movement, and you felt so bare with how he seemed like he could see right through you.
“I am fine, Marcel.” You answered him a matter of factly, not wanting to prolong the constant worry that he had for his fellow warriors. “Sorry, I will clean up the firepit and be ready in a minute.”
“Oh, no need. I mean— you don’t need to.” He stood up, reaching out his hand for you, and you took it despite the confusion that was written all over your face. “I already cleaned it up, so you just have to grab your bag and we will be ready to continue our journey.”
“Marcel!” You exclaimed, stomping your feet to the ground subconsciously as your eyes drilled on his skull. “It was supposed to be my turn!” And your outburst of course caught the others’ attention. “You always do something like this, making sure that everyone could leisure around while you did all the work.”
“(Y/n), I am sure that he—” The glare in your eyes now fell to another victim, the colossal titan inheritor, and you could see him flinch from just being the recipient of your glare. “N-Nevermind, I will just, uhm, check on Reiner if he is okay.”
And just like that, he scurried off to find his friend, not wanting to interrupt your little tantrum that he was sure would subside soon.
Bertolt knew you, you were always a little cranky when you woke up, at least that was what he could see by the past three days as he woke up with you not far from him. You needed at least a minute just opening your eyes without doing anything, and after that, you were good to go. So he understood why you seemed so extra for what Marcel did right now.
You continued to scold the older boy who just stood there scratching his nape bashfully and apologizing for what he did. He didn’t do anything wrong, but you just disliked the idea that someone did something that was supposed to be your job. Though you always said thank you before taking your leave.
Feeling that you had enough with boys, you walked to Annie who was currently nibbling at some sweets that you gave her before at the boat that brought the companion here. She seemed to see your little quarrel but decided to keep silent, waiting for Marcel to lead the way when he was done fanning his reddened cheek.
Three days had passed after Marley dropped you off to this cursed land. Everyone had so much expectation for this generation, and the fact that a Tybur took part in the mission brought so much hope to the Eldians in your homeland.
Your father was right about the burden that you were going to have. All the expectations set the bar so high for you. So for that, he prepared you to be a reliable and strong individual. Ever since the revelation, he pointed a lot of private instructors to teach you all the basic things about self-defence, archery, firearms, and swordsmanship skills.
You were shaped to be the Eldian’s saviour in Marley, ever since you were six. And you would make sure that all your knowledge and experiences would be put to good use.
Marcel told you about the plan, and for now, they all would rely on Bertolt and Reiner’s titan since it was the most destructive and save the rest for later days. When he first told you about the plan, the two of you were alone, he liked to discuss strategy first with you because your mind was the most mature of all of them.
And all the time he told you about it, your mind always thought that it was so wrong for him to ask for your advice. You wanted to tell him not to destroy the whole outer wall, just one district was enough and everyone could sneak in already. But you knew the chances to get in were lower if there was not enough damage.
So reluctantly, you agreed. You told him that he was brilliant, telling him that it would work for the warriors. And after that, everyone would enrol in the military cadet corps, some would graduate to be a survey corps, while the others joined the military police regiment. It would need a few years to get by, but it would be the safest and optimal route.
Just a few years here and you could come back home, reading books and annoying your father even more. Though you were sure that your mother would scold you for spending too much time with him, she would want you to go horseback riding with her while telling some stories about the family.
Yes, everything would be just like before, and you couldn’t wait for it.
Your eyes fleeting toward the brunette who walked in front of you, his hair swept to the back, reminding you of his brother that was the complete opposite of him in terms of personality. Marcel was gentle, compassionate, reliable, all the things that you would expect from an elder sibling. Meanwhile, Porco was aggressive, emotional, and somewhat a little rude when he talked.
And the big difference between Porco and Marcel that you knew, was the fact that the younger brother despised you. The blonde often threw shades and mockery, telling you that you were not like them, how you were a spoiled kid, and could never understand what Eldian really feels with all the privilege that you had due to your last name.
But that didn’t stop you from wanting to befriend him. You could see through his harsh facade, he was actually gentle inside and cared deeply for all the warrior candidates. He even let his guard down that day when they knew Reiner would be the armoured titan inheritor instead of him, letting you sit beside him outside the headquarters as he let out a sob.
He wept silently when you put your hand on his back, comforting him through the single touch. That was the only push he needed before breaking down in front of you, cursing himself for not being a better candidate, that it was his fault for being too confident in his skill and not trying harder to get the military’s attention.
Oh, if only he knew. If only he knew the real reason why he was not here.
It felt like it happened such a long time ago despite knowing a month just passed ever since. You wondered what the other warrior did right now, more accurately, what was he doing right now. Maybe he had lunch with his family, or perhaps beating himself to the pulp and kept on training until he couldn’t stand anymore.
Knowing that was enough to make you frown since you really cared for him, and to think that he blamed himself for his failure broke your heart even more. Every time you walked, there was an extra weight on your chest as an ivory shark tooth pendant grazing your skin, reminding you of your days in Marley once again.
Especially the day when you received the necklace, something you never took off ever since.
And now as you walked right behind Marcel, you could only imagine that the brown strands were blonde instead. But you shook your head after that, knowing for certain he would have a longer lifespan, that he wouldn’t have to carry so much burden like the rest of you. He could enjoy his life, and that was what caused Marcel to put Reiner on the pedestals instead of him.
You didn’t remember since when you were getting left behind. Of course you could still see the fellow warriors in front of you, but they were a few meters ahead from where you were. It happened a lot, so you didn’t really complain since they knew sometimes you would need alone time.
It was not like there were titans around anyway, the Marleyan Military had assured you that the titans would only be there near the outer wall. So everyone should be saved since it was still halfway through the journey, no one needed to worry and be too on guard for now.
At least that was what you believed until you saw a large shadow looming from behind you.
The silence was deafening when you felt the air sucked out from the space around you, leaving you to stand there alone as you slowly lost the ability to breathe. Fear, that was what you felt right now as your mind could only conclude one thing — there was a titan, right behind you.
No, you still needed to finish your mission. You had promised your father that you would come back to him, you had promised your mother that you would come back home intact, even if it needed you a few years to grant that, as long as you could see them again, it was alright.
As long as you could come back and see him happy and living a beautiful life even when your term was going to end, it would be fine.
But you were glued to the ground, your muscles tensed and you couldn’t move your limbs to run, or just to evade that gigantic hand which now ready to crush your small body with its hand. Yet despite all that, you felt a strong push coming from your side, pushing you out of the way and snapped you back to reality.
You saw Marcel, his dark brown hair dishevelled as now his torso engulfed in the hand of a titan. He looked distressed, panicked, and he flailed his body around as he tried with all his might to survive, despite an impeccable fate that he already knew deep inside his heart.
No one knew where it came from, one second they were chatting, and the next as Marcel saw a titan running toward you, his feet moved on their own with one goal to reach for you. You couldn’t see it, you just gave him an empty look as you were just deep in thought a moment before.
He knew that you would be too shocked to understand what happened, he knew that you couldn’t move away when you turned to see what was standing behind you. And there was something inside his soul that boosted him to run faster, pushing you away as he decided to replace you.
“Come on, let’s go!”
He heard Reiner shouting at you who was still sitting on the grass, eyes focused on him as you tried to wrap your head around you. There were tears in your orbs when Bertolt and Reiner pulled you away forcefully, your legs even wobbled, and that was when the ravenette decided to hoist you up over his shoulder.
Marcel heard the shout, the pleading in your voice as you called out his name. The others were running to safety, but he could still see you as your hand stretched out for him, not believing that you would lose him like this.
“(Y/n)!” He screamed with all his might, hoping that you could hear what he said. Wide teeth already surrounded his head, and it was a matter of time before his world turned black. So he needed to say it, he needed you to tell his brother that his job was done for now. “Tell Porco I did it!”
Then he was gone as the jaw of the titans closed with his body in between it. He died in the hand of a titan who no one knew where it came from. You should have been cautious, no matter what, this island was filled with titans and you shouldn’t have trusted whatever the Marleyan Military said. And it should have been you, not him.
Your eyes never left the scene as you saw Marcel being devoured alive, starting from his head, slowly down to his hip. The details were so vivid and you were sure it would be engraved in your mind for as long as you lived. This would be your constant nightmare, reminding you every day what a cruel world you lived in.
And you didn’t know if you were ever ready — if someday you met a circumstance when you had to face Porco, knowing that his brother died saving you.
cw: camgirl!reader. fem!bodied. character study? fem & male masturbation. explicit details of getting off. jean imagining himself with you as he watches. jean praising you in his head? (good girl once). toys used. spit as lube. actual lube. let me know if i missed anything else!!
wc: 1.3k
a/n: first fic in awhile so please spare me. sort of just, ends. please spare me. thank you x1000 for beta reading @thegetoufather<33
There’s a sense of familiarity as the mouse hovers over your username, a faint clicking noise as your page loads up. The screen fills with the countless videos Jean has watched over and over.
But there is one, in particular, that seems to grab his attention time and time again.
It’s one of your older videos, but it works just as well.
The camera is askew, your voice shy from having to film yourself, movements sloppy and unrehearsed. How your hand seems to be unsure of where to go next. If you should keep them by your waist, or move them down past your hips.
And to him, it makes it more real.
That’s why Jean keeps going back to your page. He likes how your videos aren’t terribly scripted, how you don’t talk to the camera and make it glaringly obvious that this is a setup. He seems to like the innocence behind each move you make and how that plays through each video you upload.
Filing through numerous thumbnails, his eyes finally capture the one he’s in search of. The mouse hovers over the thumbnail, your head softly tucked into your shoulder as your lower half is hidden from view, not a single doubt flashes through his mind before he clicks on it.
Your voice is hushed as you call out to the viewer, talking about how they’re making you feel. Jean knows it’s meant to be for anyone, but for some reason, he just wants it to be him.
So as he continues to watch the video, he places himself there. Each action of yours is met with Jean mimicking it. Slow tugs from his wrist as he watches your slow thrusts. Shallow breaths as he listens to sharp gasps.
Oh fuck —
The sound of your voice is sweet as it falls on his ears, eyes casting downward as you slowly tease yourself, the little shake of your thighs as the slickened vibrator catches your bundle of nerves. The little silicone device buzzes between your fingers as you hold it against your clit. The pulsing sensation has more moans and gasps slipping past your lips as you increase the settings.
Feels so good…
Jean can’t help but groan out as he listens to you. Can’t help but wonder who you’re imagining as you pull the device away from your overworked bud, keeping it just far enough away that the pulsing makes your hips jump up to catch the feeling once more.
His mind drifts to questions of if you’d want him to tease you that same way.
Would you want him to slide his cock between your slick folds? Would you squirm away from him as he taps the flushed head against your sensitive bud? Gazing up at him with tears staining your cheeks as you plead for him to fuck you?
The lewd sound of spit gliding past his lips fills the room, the drop sliding down his length as his fist wraps tightly around himself.
Your hand moves offscreen to grab something close to you. A silicone cock comes into frame as you switch off the vibrator momentarily. Your other hand grabs the small bottle of lube on your bed, popping up the cap to apply the clear substance over the rubber.
Jean tugs harshly at his aching dick, watching the way you shudder at the feeling of the tip nudging your entrance. Singing sweet praises in his head as he watches you slowly ease the silicone into your cunt, watching as you whine from the stretch and whispering a silent, good girl, as you take all of it.
A stillness covers your body as you adjust to the size, your hand sneaking its way across your duvet to reach for that small device once again. The machine buzzes between your fingers as a shooting pleasure dances up your spine.
Keeping the vibrator snug at your clit, slowly your wrist pulls the fake cock back, your toes scrunching up as the fake veins drag along your walls.
Your mouth hangs open as each moan and whine falls past your lips at will. Each gentle flick of your wrist has your breath catching in your throat at the sensation.
Slowly, yet again, you push the fake dick into your battered cunt. Each buzz to your clit has your walls squeezing around the silicone. Your hips push themselves off the bed to press the silicone further into your wet heat.
Jean watches in amazement. How responsive your body is to each little movement of your own desire. His curiosity always gets the better of him as his mind wanders to himself there with you.
Slick clicking noises surround Jean’s ears, his fist moving in rhythm with your wrist. But the noise gets drowned out as he continues to study your body.
Would your legs be soft as he holds them to his body? Keeping them steady to his hips as he fucks his cock into your plush cunt? Would the fat at your hips dimple from the pressure of his fingers digging into your skin as he ruts against them?
His mind replaces the silicone with himself as the video continues to play on.
Sharp thrusts knock your body up the mattress, each push of Jean’s hips has them sitting flush against yours. Each thrust has you feeling every inch of his length as he fills up your cunt.
Jean’s pace is slow and meticulous, he doesn’t want to bring you to your release too soon, but he doesn’t want to leave you unsatisfied. So, each drag of his cock along your walls is met with gentle circles of his thumb over your clit. The calm pace makes your hips squirm beneath him as you beg him to go faster.
Because of his gentle nature, Jean doesn’t keep up the teasing for much longer, your quiet cries for him to do more are silenced as his hips pick up speed. His hands heavily placed on your waist as he fucks into you at a rougher pace.
Eyes roaming over your body, he drinks in the sight of you sprawled out beneath him. Watching soft thighs jiggle from the force of his hips as they meet the skin, fingers grasping at any bit of your body to get you closer to him.
The growing coil in your stomach burns as his leaky cock head nudges against the tender spot deep within you, your fists curling together as they capture the soiled sheets beneath you.
Keep going, please…
Every demand from you is met with every obeying action from Jean. His pace doesn’t falter, not even when he shifts his position just slightly, the new angle having him hit that spot even more as he fucks you.
Shakily, your hand dances down your torso as it finds its way between your legs. Your clit is practically buzzing as your fingers flick the hardened bud, your back arching deliciously to catch that feeling once more.
Soclose, please don’t stop…
Jean’s eyes flick up to the screen as he watches your cunt flutter around the rubber cock.
Your thighs are tucked haphazardly against your stomach, an arm trapped between the muscles as your wrist continues to work you to your orgasm.
Sloppily, you try to keep a steady pace as the silicone stretches your battered cunt around the length of it, your fingers cramping as the vibrator buzzes at your numbing clit.
A-ah! Cumming!
His head is swimming from his thoughts of fucking you that your blissed out face has him spilling into his own hand, thick ropes of white painting his fist and bits of his taut abs.
A particularly harsh tug of his cock has him curling in on himself, his hand sticky with arousal as he forces his hand away.
With the high washing over him, Jean swipes a tissue from the box sitting on his desk to clean himself up.
Before exiting out of the tab, his hand slides over the back of the mouse to click the plus button, effectively saving your video to his short list of favorites.
ೃ the entire division of the survey corps are not convinced that you and levi are absolutely actually together. however, it took a small expedition outside of the walls and an abnormal titan incident for everyone to coo adoringly at the soft and loving demeanor that levi holds around you and only you.
ೃ genre and warnings: canonverse, fluff, and strong language.
ೃ dedicated to one of my first uni friends, @ryscenery because if the two of us didn’t yell (affectionately) at each other for our love for levi, this fic may have never been birthed. i hope you enjoy!
Love certainly makes you do the wacky. But in a world where chaos is imminent, war is always looming, and people die to giant man-eating humanoid monsters, how can one possibly make their life akin to that of a romance novel?
Well, unfortunately, you can’t.
It’s a Live and Let Die world, after all.
But… to the remaining few of humanity who are strong and lucky enough to be still wandering the faces of the unknown world, love is a treasure. A gift only a few can find.
And somehow, and someway, you were lucky enough to find comfort in someone you never thought you’d expect to find.
Levi Ackerman.
The stoic and blunt smart-ass captain of the Survey Corps? Yes, him.
Honestly, it’s quite a surprise. No one would have ever thought that someone could shake the world of Humanity’s Strongest Soldier. It almost felt like a dream, honestly. Your subordinates and co-captains can’t even get their heads wrapped around the fact that there’s something between the two of you. Well, it’s not like either you and Levi were bold enough to rub it in other people’s faces.
Even Hanji, who made it seems as if they were utterly convinced over the fact that the two of you are together by teasing the two of you every time that you were within a few feet of each other, has their doubts.
It didn’t take long until a minor expedition outside the walls made everyone in the division finally realize how much you and Levi were pining lovestruck dorks when hidden from the eyes of prying and spying soldiers.
An attempted attack from an abnormal titan had forced you to stray away from the rest of your squad’s formation. Baiting the abomination away from your subordinates led you to get lost in the outskirts of an abandoned town. With a terribly injured leg, none of your essential equipment with you, and with no means of communication, you had no choice but to wait for the rest of the scouts on patrol to find you.
However, you were afraid of one person.
Levi knows how strong and how much you can hold up in a fight (Your Titan kill count is one of the highest in the Corps), but he hates how reckless you can get. How stubborn. How irrational your decisions can be at times and how much you hate the fact that he reprimands you for the littlest mistakes. Even if those mistakes could ultimately be the cost of your own life.
Catching sight of a shadowy figure and the sound of the clopping of horses from beyond a steep hill, you brace yourself for another long and agonizing lecture from Levi as he continues to approach.
“Captain (Y/N)!” Armin, a rookie soldier from your fleet, calls out. A look of relief forming on his face. “We brought Captain Levi! He’s just behind us!”
“Oh, great.” You whisper, grimacing to yourself. “Just great.” Your wounded leg fails you as you try to prop yourself up onto your horse, falling back down on a mound of rubble.
You only wish you could know what Levi is feeling right now once he sees the predicament you’ve brought upon yourself once again.
“Captain (Y/N) has strayed away from our formation!” Jean reports sternly, a tinge of worry straining his voice. “They have diverted an abnormal titan from ruining our formation! As of now, none of us in the fleet know of their whereabouts! Neither do they have a flare gun nor any kits in case of an emergency, as they have left them with Krista before the expedition!”
Erwin clears his throat, shaking his head to try and keep his calm facade. “We’ll send some soldiers to scout the-”
Before he could even finish his sentence, the distinct cry of a nearby horse could be heard. As the rest of the surviving soldiers turn their heads to where the sound came from, they could do nothing but stare agape at Levi’s fleeting figure cross through the safe area and again into dangerous territory. No one could dare to stop him, after all. There was no way.
All they could do was stare in awe at the dramatic yet sweet gesture of the stone-hearted captain that happened right before their tired eyes.
Maybe now they’re finally convinced that the two of you are actually together.
(Levi’s POV)
I sprinted through the vast fields with all the remaining strength I could muster. After a long exhibition, I didn’t expect I’d have to drag my ass around to find (Y/N). Yet, I could not recall the last time I found myself so short of breath.
Dammit. Please be safe.
I am only vaguely surprised to feel an icy trickle of sweat on the back of my neck and my wringing hands as I hold onto the saddle.
Hurry… I must hurry.
There was not a moment to waste. If there were a titan to cross through these shitty grasslands ever again, I’d have to kill these fuckers as fast as I can. Whatever it took to reach them.
….How unlike me.
I hated this feeling. I knew it was inevitable and could happen anytime, but my body launched forward before Erwin could even give his command. Duty decreed that I should have informed him, but the thought came far too late.
I have no doubt Erwin will conjure some excuse for me. After all, this is what everyone wanted, right? Didn’t they want to see more proof of my undying love for them? Just because I don’t make goo-goo eyes at them doesn’t mean I wouldn’t defy everything just to keep them safe.
Perhaps I am being irresponsible… but I have no choice but to put my trust in him.
For now, I have someone more important than anything else, someone I cannot fail. Someone I must save.
At the end of the maddeningly long field of nothingness and stark skies, my destination hoves into view.
As (Y/N)’s weakened figure appears closer and closer to me, I abruptly halt my steed and dismount from it. With all my strength once again, I rush to their side.
Moments later, you hear Levi’s voice, whom you had seen off just this morning. Wincing in pain due to your injuries, you mentally prepare yourself for another scolding.
“Keep safe” were the words he’d never fail to whisper every time the both of you are forced to depart from each other. It wasn’t the most romantic saying out there, but it meant a lot. Especially coming from Levi. He was not the most physically affectionate beau out there, but these little sweet nothings were enough to make your heart flutter.
Observing his looks as he approaches, Levi almost seems panicked. Out of breath, even breaking a sweat… you can’t even remember the last time you saw him like this.
His piercing gaze bore into yours, and you felt as though you might fall into it.
Levi takes one step towards you and then another.
“I-I’m fine… okay?” You puff your chest and tug at his hand reassuringly. “Don’t worry. I kicked that titan’s ass before it could even get a hand of me. How about you? Are you alright? You’re breathing so heavily.”
He doesn’t answer your question but instead drops his gaze into your shaking hands.
“(Y/N)…” His voice was barely audible, a whisper. There’s this exasperated look in his eyes that you can’t quite describe. And yet, through that faintest movement of his lips, you knew what he meant to say.
“Levi, listen. I’m-”
—And yet… he did not allow you to finish.
Soft warmth pressed against your lips. And his embrace… so intense yet so gentle.
He didn’t have to say it with words; This is the first time Levi has shown such love through his touch. Kind, yet powerful. His kiss felt like the wings of butterflies, beating softly upon lips of crushed petals.
You remain in his arms, held tight to the Captain’s chest.
The suddenness of his actions came as a surprise, of course… but even so.
The heat radiating from your bodies brought such a wellspring of happiness to you. You were so happy. So very, very happy.
It was so profound that you wished that it might never end.
“Tch. I thought I was going to lose you…” He trails off, squeezing your arm in slight annoyance. “W-why do you always have to be so damn reckless? Why can’t you just stick to the plan?”
“Reckless is my middle name after all.” You giggle, the kiss ever so deepening.
You’re suddenly brought back into reality when a flustered cough echoes from behind you.
You and Levi took it as your cue to finally let go, releasing one another.
“I hope we’re not interrupting something…” You turn to see Armin Arlert, a rookie from your fleet, approach the two of you awkwardly. “I’ll be tending to Captain (Y/N)’s wounds… if you’d allow me.” He clears his throat, clearly intimidated by the cold and striking facade emanating from Levi.
“Captain Erwin sent us.” Mikasa added stoically. Ah yes, the ever so tactful commander.
“Were you brats watching?”
“No! Of course not!” Jean, Sasha, and Connie who were lagging from behind, dismiss Levi’s claims with a dramatic wave of their hands. “We totally weren’t-”
Levi sighs, “Look. Even if you were, I wouldn’t get mad.” There’s a slight blush that slowly creeps on his face yet quickly fades away. “Just… don’t get into details once Hanji or Erwin tries to bug you about it, alright?”
“Yes, Captain!”
“Thank you for coming to pick us up.” You smile weakly as you let Armin kneel to tend to your wounds. “Who knows what could have happened if we were left here alone?” You nudge Levi’s shoulder suggestively.“
He smirks, chuckling to himself. "If we were, then they’ll finally have more proof that the two of us are actually together, won’t they?”
warnings: facefucking, heavy degradation, cockslapping, mean!eren but he’s soft at the end
word count: 0.5k
anon: Eren with pent up anger and frustration takes it out on his babie because his baby suggested to use her body because she doesn’t like it when her master is frowning, looking so angry idk if it’s good + how are we feeling about degradation kink ereh??????
“it’s okay, eren.” eren blinks at you as you sink to your knees, your eyes wide as you bat your lashes delicately. “you can use me. i want to make you feel better.” he can feel the blood rushing to his cock as he stares at you with your tongue hanging out, drool spilling down your chin messily and with the hot rage flooding through his veins, he growls as he tugs down his sweatpants, one hand circling around his hardening cock and pumping it faster whilst the other threads through your hair.
“messy bitch drooling all over yourself just because you want my cock so bad.” he grunts, fingers tightening around your hair to elicit a little squeal from you. tears glimmer in your eyes already, making him scoff as he taps the flushed cockhead against your wet tongue. “you’re such a slut. a greedy cockslut.”
your eyes soften momentarily but then you’re gagging as eren shoves his cock into your mouth, his thick length weighing down heavy on your tongue and the outline bulging lewdly in your cheek. your hands grip his thighs as he shoves it deep towards the back of your mouth, cockhead slamming against the back of your throat to make you gag as he groans, head falling back. the vein in his temple throbs as he begins to fuck your face, long strands of hair falling into his dampened, flushed face as his hips buck against your face, balls slapping against your chin. drool spills down your open mouth as you’re held in place, your moans shooting right through his cock as he grunts with every sharp thrust.
“fucking take it. this is what you’re good for- letting me use that slutty mouth of yours like it’s a fucking cunt.” eren moans as his cock slams against the back of your throat with a bruising pace. he growls when your nails pierce too deep into the skin of his thighs, his hand rough when he pulls you off his cock, saliva smeared across your face with your cheeks stained with tears. “fuck- you look like such a mess, like a right filthy cockslut.” you’re gasping for air as he slaps his wet dick against your cheek before he pumps it fast, groaning with pleasure as he forces your mouth open, pinching your drooling tongue as he tugs it out just as warm ropes of cum spurt from the red tip, coating over your tongue and chin.
“that’s it, drink my cum like a good little cumslut. what do you say?”
“thank you, eren.” your voice is hoarse as you swallow down the sticky strings of fluid, smiling as you wipe it off your chin and lick your cum-stained fingertips whilst eren pants heavily, his cock softening as he tugs his sweatpants back up.
he’s calmer and softer when he falls to his knees in front of you, brushing your hair out of your teary face before he envelopes you in his arms, rubbing his hands gently over your back as he rests a chin on your shoulder.
“i didn’t mean to be that rough- i’m sorry, baby.”
“it’s okay.” you whisper, clinging to him as you bury your face in the crook of his neck. “i always want to help you in any way i can. as long as you feel better.” he presses a tender kiss to your temple, lips smiling against your skin with gratitude.
warnings/content: thigh riding, dirty talk, innocent!reader, dumbification, light degradation, modern college au
word count: 0.7k
anon:eren corrupting a pretty, innocent girl <3 he adores how u get starry eyed when he whispers in ur ear ab everything he wants to do to you and how needy u get from just a few kisses. lets u ride his thigh and use his body bc he jus’ thinks u look so so pretty fuckin’ urself on his body and crying for more
the sound of music thumping sounds distant, like your head is plunged underwater as hands circle your waist, pulling you flush against a hard chest. there’s a stiffness pressing into your ass, grinding against you as your skin feels warm, heart racing and your legs pressing together to ease the throbbing deep between the legs.
“you’re so pretty, i bet you’d sound amazing moaning my name.” eren’s voice is a low deep murmur in your ear, all you can hear despite the loudness of the party, his hot breath tickling the sensitive skin of your ear as his teeth graze your lobe. he groans a little as you push up against him, breathless, before he starts to press open-mouthed kisses along your neck. warmth runs through you, your body shuddering, and you can’t help the little whine that falls from your lips as he sucks a little on the sensitive skin.
“oh, you’re so cute.” he smiles, the stubble on his chin tickling your neck as you cling to him tighter. you want more- more than just his kisses. “do you want me to show you a fun time? fuck you till you’re a drooling, fucked out, babbling mess?”
“eren.” you whimper his name as he presses some more kisses along the column of your throat, groaning into your flushed skin as he ruts his hips into your ass.
“do you feel how fucking hard you get me? you sound so pretty whimpering for me- i bet if i touched you right now you’d be soaking wet. how much do you want me?” your cheeks burn with embarrassment, a small squeal escaping as his hand slides between your legs, crawling up your skirt to press against your panties, the little wet patch so obvious.
“eren, so bad. please.” it’s a shy little whisper and he chuckles, chest vibrating against your back as he sucks the lobe of your ear.
“aw, you’re so wet and i’ve not even done anything yet. come on.”
your cunt throbs as he pulls you away from the main party, guiding you up the stairs of the house of whoever’s party it was, eren’s eyes sparkling as he pushes open a door into an empty bedroom. he grins as he sits at the end of the bed, pulling you onto his thigh as his hands grasp your hips.
“eren.” you can only whine as he kisses along your jaw, fingers unbuttoning your shirt as you can’t resist the urge to grind your hips along his thigh. he’s muscular, leg tensed so you can feel his muscles against your cunt, the ripples in his jeans and the layers of fabric in between only offering friction as you can feel your panties dampen. “please.”
“please what?” he smirks and he laughs when your bottom lip trembles. your cunt’s practically aching, drooling all over your panties as you rut faster, whining as the friction offers a semblance of pleasure. “i can’t do anything unless you tell me. do you want my fingers maybe? my tongue? my cock buried inside your little pussy?” you gasp at his lewd words, but you’re too desperate, whining as you begin to bounce on his leg faster, making him groan as he slips off your shirt, hands groping your chest.
“god, you look so pretty humping my thigh like that- you look so needy right now.” eren growls, edging his face close to yours. he presses his lips against yours messily, teeth nibbling on your swollen bottom lip and you mewl when he pulls away, biting your lip between his teeth. “you look so cute and innocent- i bet you’ve never even taken cock before, huh?” he bounces his leg to make you gasp, your walls clenching around nothing as you cling to his shoulders, rutting against his leg with the fabric rubbing against your damp folds and swollen clit, the pleasure warm as it runs through you. but it’s not enough, making your cheeks burn as your eyes fall to his hardened cock pressing against the tight restrains of his pants.
“please, eren.” your voice is shy and meek through your breathy sighs as you nestle your face into the crook of his neck, his long strands of hair tickling your face. “i want you to touch me. i want you to- to fuck me. with your cock. please.”
he groans at your words, cupping your face with his thumb stroking along your wet, swollen lip before he dips it between them, fingertip weighing down on your drooling tongue.
“that wasn’t so hard now, was it, babe? but not yet- i want to see you hump my thigh like a horny bitch in heat before i fuck you so good on my cock.”
Woo hello guys, basically i am trying to revive this mf blog lmao
I am going to check up on it more often and stuff too!
IN THE MEANTIME please send in thirsts, imagines, hcs and basically anything that you think of about a certain character or characters. My inbox is wide open for yall <3
3k words; 10-minute read A/N: This is for @asahipleaseloveme’s Prince Charming collab. I hope this is prince charming enough. Miche definitely seems like a prince, but I never imagined him with someone who fits that ‘damsel in distress’ feeling so I did what I could. I hope you guys like it! And thank you Monica for letting me join! I hope you have a great birthday!
“What are you doing?” You narrowed your eyes as you watched your husband unraveling the garden hose. It was your day off of work as well as his and you had both decided to relax outside, something you never had time for anymore. The sun was shining, the weather was perfect, and you were testing out your new lawn chaises. The only thing that was missing was a pool. A pool you kept begging Miche for.
After only ten minutes of relaxing, he abruptly stood up from his chair and moved to the garden, fiddling around with the hose. You watched as he bent over, his muscles working to pull at something you couldn’t see. It took about a minute when he made a satisfied noise and stood up. You watched as he turned around, holding the garden hose up.
“You know what I’m doing.” He gave you a smile and walked closer.
“Stop.” You sat up quickly, holding your hand up. “We are not doing this again.”
“It’s tradition.” He reminded you, turning the water on and walking closer.
“Can’t you just kiss me at the café?” Hands still up in a defensive pose, you stood from the chair and backed up.
“This is way more fun.” That smug smile was the last thing you saw before he chased you around the house, dowsing you in as much water as he could. Every year it was the same thing. You’d think you would have learned by now, but each year you tricked yourself into thinking he would finally get bored. He never did.
“There are so many things I want to do to you right now.” You said angrily, shaking whatever water you could from your body. It didn’t help, you would have to go inside and change.
“Any of them sexy?” Miche wiggled his eyebrows and pulled you into him.
“Not a single one.” You shook your head and he leaned down to kiss you. You still couldn’t figure out why you loved him so much when he consistently annoyed you as much as he did.
“Oh!” He exclaimed, leaning back. “I almost forgot!”
He stepped back from you and ripped open his button-down shirt to reveal a blue t-shirt with the Superman ‘S’ in the middle. His hands went to his hips and he posed, looking off into the distance.
That was it. That was why. It was things like this that made you love him and even though you were soaked and uncomfortable because of him, you couldn’t help but laugh at how cute he was, your heart fluttering in your chest.
“You’re ridiculous.” You laughed, pushing him playfully before walking into the house to dry off.
“Wait. I need to carry you inside.” He insisted, running up behind you.
“What for?”
“I’m your superhero.”
“Don’t you think you’re taking this too far?” You walked past him into the house.
“Well now wait one second! You called me your superhero!”
“You didn’t even know what you were doing!”
“The hell I didn’t! I saved you then and I will save you now and every year that follows.” He grabbed your hips and hoisted you over his shoulder to carry you in the house.
“Miche! I don’t even need saving right now!” You complained.
“Nonsense.” He continued through the house, moving up the stairs until he set you down on your bed.
“I think you’re misremembering what happened.” You laughed and he laid next to you on the bed.
“I remember exactly what happened.”
“Let’s hear it then. How did you save me?” You turned on your side and faced him, wrapping yourself in the towel he brought you.
“It was five years ago…” He began describing the first time you both met.
You and Miche had met five years earlier. It wasn’t the most traditional way of meeting someone and to be honest, you’d lied to a lot of people on how it actually went down. You and Miche were the only ones that knew exactly what happened. Well, and Zach.
Zach was your ex-boyfriend. He was that really sort of toxic guy that everyone eventually dates and maybe it was fun for a little while, but when the rose-colored glasses finally came off, you were ready for things to be done with him. It took several attempts to actually break things off with him, but of course, after you’d broken up, you got lonely and went back to him. By the time you really, really wanted to end things, you found it was nearly impossible because every argument you made, Zach was convinced you guys would get back together. In his eyes, there wasn’t even a reason to break up at all.
You’d come up with a plan though. If you break up with him in public, he’d have to accept it. Looking back, it was a stupid idea, but you were young and dumb.
It was a Saturday afternoon in a coffee shop that you knew you wouldn’t go to again because it was just too far to frequent. You got there early to sit down and practice your break-up speech. By the time it came to delivering said speech to Zach, you had it down perfectly.
“I really think we’re better off as friends.” You lied. You definitely weren’t going to be friends, but you set your hand on his. Instead of looking sad, he smiled. Weirdo. Why was he smiling? “I hope you understand.”
“I understand.” Zach nodded. “We’re not breaking up.”
“What? I just said we should.”
“You just don’t know, baby.” He took the hand you set on his to comfort him and he started ‘comforting’ you. “We’re made for each other. That’s why we can’t be apart.”
“Zach, it’s really not working out.”
“I disagree.” This was hilarious because for someone who thought you guys were meant to be, he certainly spent a lot of time with other women.
“I don’t think that’s how it works.” This was not going to be as easy as you thought and your mind worked to find a plan b.
“It is. We’re meant to be together. I can’t be without you.” He assured. “And you can’t be without me.”
“I can, Zach. I wantto be.” You explained and an idea popped in your head. “I’ve already moved on.”
“What?” It was his turn to be confused.
“I met someone.” You sighed, trying to sell it to him.
“Who?”
“A person. What does it matter?” Was he really going to argue with you meeting someone new?
“I don’t believe you.” He shook his head and you worried that plan b was going to need a plan c.
“Zach, I…” A tall, blonde man stepped out of the bathroom and walked past your table. “I did meet someone. He’s here now.”
“He’s here?” Zach sat up straighter, looking around the café and you nodded. “Where?”
“I don’t think that matters.”
“Where is he?”
“He’s behind me. The blonde guy.” You were really hoping that the guy you just saw leaving the bathroom wasn’t sitting with another woman or this lie was about to fail. You were sure that Zach wouldn’t try and talk to him, he just needed to see that he existed.
“That guy?” There was a weird tone in his voice and you cringed, thinking that he most definitely must be with a woman as you turned around. A couple booths down, the man sat by himself, looking out the window and you let out a sigh of relief.
“Yeah.” You turned around to face Zach. “That’s him.”
Zach’s face changed and he bit the inside of his cheek as he thought about something. Thinking he was believing you, your heart started beating quickly as you got excited for this whole thing to finally be done.
“I don’t believe you.” He stood up and your eyes went wide. “I’m going to go talk to him.”
“Wait!” You jumped up, having no idea what you were going to do, but knowing you needed to stop him. “I will talk to him first. He might be… uh… upset.”
What had you gotten yourself into now? Thankfully, Zach nodded, but kept his eyes on the guy. You slowly turned around and walked to this guy who was still looking out the window. How were you going to explain this situation to him? It’s not like it was that weird. Other people probably did this all the time. That’s what you kept telling yourself as you stepped next to his booth, quickly sitting across from him as you realized that if you were really dating, sitting across from him would be way more normal than standing next to him.
“Hi.” You whispered, feeling heat rushing to your cheeks. “I’m so sorry, but I need your help.”
His eyes moved to something behind you and you were sure Zach was making his way over which limited the amount of time you had to explain to this man the mess you’d gotten yourself, and now him, into.
“I need you to pretend you’re my boyfriend.” You spoke quickly. “I’m try—”
“Okay.” He nodded and you blinked, confused by how quickly he agreed.
“Okay?”
“Yeah. Okay.” He smiled and you didn’t even get a moment to enjoy his smile before Zach was there and this incredibly agreeable man turned to him. “Who’s this?”
“My boyfriend.” You explained to him without thinking.
“What?” The man looked confused and you realized Zach was supposed to be your ex.
“Ex-boyfriend. Sorry.”
“So this is the new guy?” Zach tried to make himself seem big which would have probably worked since he wasn’t that small of a guy, but when this new man stood up, Zach came up a few inches short.
“Miche.” He held his hand out to Zach. “Nice to meet you.”
“You’re dating my woman?” Zach stepped closer to him.
“I think she might be my woman now.” Miche smiled again and that time you did let yourself admire it. Not a bad choice for a last-minute, fake boyfriend.
“I don’t fucking believe this.” Zach shook his head and you could see that he wanted to say something, but there was nothing for him to say and he set his gaze in your direction. “You… you…”
“I’m sorry, Zach.” You stood up, but he backed up and went in the opposite direction. As soon as he was gone, you turned to Miche. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” He checked his phone and sat back down in his booth. “That was your boyfriend?”
“Yeah. It’s taken a lot to actually break up with him.”
“I can tell.”
“Can I get you a coffee or something?” You offered. “For your help.”
“Sure.” He stood up. “I’ve had quite a bit while waiting, but I could use some more.”
“What are you waiting for?”
“Blind date.” You gestured for you to walk towards the counter first. “I don’t think she’s showing up though.”
“Aw, I’m sorry. How long have you been waiting?”
“About three hours.” She shrugged as if it were nothing.
“Three hours!?” Your eyes went wide and your mouth dropped open which made him laugh lightly. “Why don’t you just go home and tell her to maybe try another time?”
“Eh, I don’t have anything else to do.” He didn’t actually even seem bothered by the fact that he was most likely being stood up. Maybe he didn’t realize it. “It’s actually kind of nice that you came over. That was fun.”
“Fun?”
“Yeah, I’ve never been asked to help anyone with a break up.” He flashed you that smile again and you couldn’t help but smile back.
“I’m glad I could provide you some entertainment.” You nodded as you both stepped up to the counter and the barista asked what you wanted.
“What are you drinking?” You turned to him.
“Whatever you like.”
“You want me to pick a drink for you?”
“This is my third drink this morning.” He rubbed the scruff on his chin as he looked at the menu board and back to you. “It honestly doesn’t matter what I get.”
“Okay. Um… flat white with oat milk.” You told the barista and she nodded, typing in the order. Something caught your eye and your gaze moved up to him, seeing that he was smiling. “Is that okay?”
“It’s my favorite.”
“You don’t have to lie.”
“Really. It’s my favorite.” There was something about that smile that had a heat reaching your cheeks until you heard someone yelling your name. Both you and Miche turned to see Zach standing a couple feet away, with shaking fists while taking deep breaths.
“Well fuck.” You sighed. You really didn’t expect the breakup to be easy, but you didn’t think it would be this complicated.
“I can’t be without you.” He complained, walking closer to you.
“Zach, we’re done. Seriously. It wasn’t working out.”
“I need you, baby.”
“Just like you needed all those other women?” You didn’t want to bring this up because Zach constantly denied cheating on you even though you had irrefutable proof. “Look Zach, I’m done. Please just go.”
“I know you still love me.”
“I don’t.” You tried to ignore him as you got more annoyed.
“You’re lying to me.” He pointed. “He’s not even your type.”
“Oh my gosh.” You grabbed the collar of Miche’s shirt and pulled him down into a kiss. It hadn’t even crossed your mind that one, you should have asked him first, and two, how amazing kissing him would be. Your body leaned into his slightly as your lips melted against his and his hands were resting on the counter, but quickly moved to your hips before you pulled away. His eyes stayed closed for a moment before they opened and where you thought his smile was stunning, it was nothing like his eyes. “See, we’re in love.”
“Anyone can kiss someone.” Zach complained, not even really all that annoyed that you had just kissed another man in front of him.
“Seriously Zach! You need to stop.” You turned to look at him.
“Is he going to kiss me too because I have a girlfriend.” Miche asked, turning your face back to him by placing his hands on your chin.
“You do?” You stepped back, nervous that you potentially ruined his relationship by kissing him.
“I thought you were my girlfriend.” He whispered, standing up straight and grabbing your hand.
“I am.” You remembered. “Right. I am.”
“Right.” He nodded and you both faced Zach.
“What is happening?” Zach narrowed his eyes at you, still not quite believing.
“She’s my girlfriend.” Miche gave a dopey grin, kissing the back of your hand as one last selling point.
“You are going to have to leave, Zach.”
“Fuck all of you!” He yelled before walking away.
“God, seriously.” You groaned and looked to Miche. “I’m sorry. This became a way bigger mess than I thought it would be.”
“I don’t mind at all.” He laughed.
“Feeling like a superhero?” You laughed and he smiled with a nod.
Surprisingly, the barista was waiting to finish your order and after telling her your drink order, you went back to the booth. Not even a minute later, the drinks were ready and Miche got up to get them while you took the opportunity to look out the window, wondering if his blond date was going to show up. As bad as it was, you were hoping she wouldn’t.
“Hey bitch.” A voice said and you really had no idea why you turned when you heard it because your name was definitely not ‘bitch’, but the familiar voice had you turning around. Before you could say anything, a full pitcher of cold water was being thrown on you and Zach dropped it, running off to outside of the café, getting in his car and driving off. Miche came back with the drinks and his mouth dropped open.
“What the hell happened?” He quickly ran back to get some napkins to wipe off as much of the water as he could, but you were soaked.
“Zach happened.” You explained. “Though I think he might actually be gone this time.”
“Well, that’s a relief. Are you okay?”
“Not exactly, but… yeah.” You nodded, thinking that since Zach had left, you were actually done with dealing with him. “Yeah. I’m soaked, but I’m okay.”
“At least he’s gone.” Miche agreed, swiping the ice from the table and onto the tray before it melted.
“That’s the only positive thing so far.” You stood up, trying to help him get any that might have fallen on the seat.
“I can see a couple other good things.” His hand rested on your waist and he pulled you back so he could wipe the booth down instead.
“What do you mean? No good can come from this.” You complained, shaking out your soaked shirt, thankful it wasn’t white because that would have really been the icing on the cake.
“Maybe from your perspective.” Miche laughed as he took off his flannel shirt and wrapped it around you. It was an unfamiliar scent, but it was good and warm and you wondered if this was how a hug from him would feel. “Can I take you home?”
“My… m—my home?” You stuttered out.
“I promise I will leave when you ask.” He held his hand up in promise.
“Okay.” You nodded. “Thanks.”
[BACK TO PRESENT]
“All that you proved is that you lied.” You sat up from the bed and moved to the bathroom, ready to shower.
“How did I lie?” He followed, taking off his shirt like he was going to join you. Obviously, he was going to join you and you weren’t going to complain.
“You said you would leave.” You stepped into the shower and waited for him. “You never left.”
“I don’t remember you ever asking me to leave.” He moved inside the shower and closed the door behind him.
“I guess you have a point.” You laughed and Miche grabbed your cheeks, pulling you in for a kiss.
