levi underneath you, sitting on the couch with his trousers open, dick stuffed so deep in you that you feel his pulse behind your navel. where you’ve stopped him once again.
getting more and more fed up with your excuses over intimacy with him: why you won’t sit on his face, why you want the lights out the second your clothes are off, why you don’t want his hands here, why you hate him squeezing anywhere on you, why you hate the idea of how much you’ll jiggle if you ride him, what your face or tits will look like from below when you’re on top, why you don’t understand how he could want you.
with a single hand, he grabs your face and snatches you to his, a white hot fire behind that silver stare. you’ve never seen him so livid, so impatient with you. he is throughand for a second the implication terrifies you.
“shut up.”
he kisses you after. rough and unforgiving, his grip like iron.
“shut the fuck up. never again. do you know what the hell i would do to anyone else if they spoke about you the way you do about yourself?”
you suddenly feel the pad of his thumb, and how harshly he squishes past the warm, sticky lips of your needy pussy, winding lubed up little swirls onto your clitoris.
“nNM!l…evi–”
“i didn’t tell you to say one fucking word, did i.”
you only whimper, squirming and accidentally giving more friction… more sweet, building pressure. it makes your closed eyes squeeze out water.
“you,” he grunts from between his teeth, hiking you closer as he fingers the fuck out of that slippery, swelling button, “are exactly what the fuck i want.” he slips his tongue into another burning, sudden, lip crashing kiss, tasting the whines he earns from making you fall apart. “you got that, brat? everything you hate, every piece of you you keep making idiotic excuses for. i chose it. i chose all of it.”
he feels you try to ease yourself up from his shaft and promptly forces you back down, thriving off the bubbly squelch of your wetness drowning his groin, your cunt slurping his cock in a whore’s welcome.
“if i didn’t want every part of you there is to be had, i wouldn’t have my dick splitting you in half every night, you birdbrain.”
you gasp when you’re yanked even further forward, and that deep voice is suddenly three-dimensional in… all over your ear–hot, and wet, and deadly.
“so if i hear you try and deny me my own fucking woman another time, you won’t cum again for a goddamn month. not on this dick.”
“no!” you beg him with your mouth already having to sip up your drool, “no levi, please d–AHNNN!”
he’s already bucked his hips into you, lowering himself into the sofa cushions and gapping his spread knees even wider.
“ride it.” he commands, “i’m sick of you underestimating me just so you can insult yourself. ride this shit– and if you don’t fuck me like you’re trying to break this couch in half you’ll do it again, and again, and again until you do. now give me what the fuck i want.”
cw: starvation diet, body insecurity (i should’ve put this before, my apologies)
“eat."
the word rang out with the harshest echo at its back, cold and sharp– just like the eyes that held yours right now. you knew that levi was irate, you knew that somehow you had made him livid with you, but the last thing you expected upon being summoned before him in his office was to see a tray of food slammed down before you, with him towering over your seat, emitting hellfire in waves off of his skin.
"what is thi–”
“isaid‘eat’,” he pressed with murderous intent, and the blankness in his eyes made you so terrified that your fork was in hand before you could pull in your next startled breath. “say another word before it’s empty and i’ll make you regret it.”
what a night. what a damned night for your worst fears to come into fruition, and in front of him, no less. eating was already enough of a struggle for you to carry out without feeling abhorrence at yourself. doing it in front of someone else was the absolute substance of your nightmares.
and surely enough, those depreciating thoughts began to fizz and cloud up in your mind, sticking to every corner you couldn’t reach to scrub them out, and where they could ceaselessly bring you torment over your deepest insecurities. levi was already pissed enough at you. here, any remaining attraction to you would dissipate into revulsion the second he saw you stuff your face.
“you should’ve thought about not wanting me to watch you before you decided to be an idiot.” he cut through your thoughts like he was psychic yet again. honestly, you were beginning to form your suspicions about that… to be addressed at a later time.
“levi, this isn’t–”
“i suggest you find your mind wherever you lost it and address me properly, cadet. i am your goddamn captain."
his voice was so dark and cold, like you were nothing to him. you’d never seen or heard him be this hostile toward you. it was honestly terrifying. you felt like you needed to ask him if he even still knew who you were… to tell him it was only you… you tried your best to say it through your eyes because his delivery was… incredibly hurtful.
still, you corrected yourself. painful words or not– he was right, and you had misaddressed him. "captain,”
“why in the hell have you not been eating?” he asked in the same, dangerous tone that felt like he could lunge over the table at any moment, “you honestly thought you could skip meals for two days and it wouldn’t get back to me?”
“i’m sorry.” you could only weakly say, and to your knees rather than to his eyes.
“you think that means anything to me,” he responded, emphasising the word so much it clenched your heart… as if he may as well meant you instead of your apology, “i could give a shit about you being sorry. i asked you why you would intentionally starve yourself.”
“it isn’t something i can explain so easily, captain,” you answered. he could hear how desperate you were in your tone, but he didn’t care. levi couldn’t care. all he could care about was your safety. you were the last thing he could hold on to it the hell of this world, and you were actively trying to rob him of you. and unfortunately, his rage at whatever entity that tried to snatch his lover from him would always be the same, even if that being was you yourself.
but that was something he couldn’t explain so easily either. so his harshness was all his love could yield, to your broken feelings and bruised heart’s end.
“you better think of something. you have until that tray is clean.”
“captain,” you begged to him, wanting him to look at you instead of through you like he was now. you needed to see that he was still the same man you loved just earlier today instead of this one who could barely stand you. right now you were just horrified that you’d finally managed to push him away enough to lose him.
…god, hadyou?“i’m trying to tell you–”
“shut your brainless fucking mouth, put that fork in it and eat.”
your jaw fell slack. his voice was so hard it echoed in the room. and it was all he was left with after his shocked stare watched you look at him in complete, heartbroken horror, then storm out of the door.
you had to. you were humiliated enough, you couldn’t take crying in front of him now. you had your answer anyway.
Hi! Could you do a one-shot of Jean/Girlfriend. His lover drank the wine and turned into a Titan after Zeke screamed. Then could you show everyone’s reaction and what they decide to do. :D
A/N: Sorry this took a little bit, but I’m really happy with how this turned out! Also had to catch up on the last two episodes that came out (including the one today omg it was so good). I did take some liberties with the second part of your request, as I focused more on Jean’s reaction. I hope you enjoy and thank you so much for your request!
Word Count: 1.2K
You weren’t one to enjoy alcohol. Usually, you would avoid having even a single glass of wine because you didn’t want to risk the possibility of you being drunk. The thought of being out of your own control in a world that was already so messed up plagued your mind enough to the point that when you and your buddies were passing around a bottle, you’d pass on the opportunity. Plus, the taste of it wasn’t fantastic enough to warrant you actively seeking a sip of the purpley-red liquid.
However, that one night where you wanted to just forget about the fact that your comrades, your family, and your closest friends were six feet under - and you were only nineteen yourself - you found yourself with a flush on your cheeks and a giggle in your throat. It felt so good at the moment, like you were flying in the sky. It was that same adrenaline and completely pleasant feeling that you remembered experiencing when you first mastered using ODM gear; playing hide and seek in the training forests with Connie, Jean, and Sasha. It made you feel like a fifteen year old again. You felt like your old self. Now, it just made you miserable.
The little armband that was affixed to your overcoat did nothing to weigh you down, but you felt like it was constricting your arm. It was hard to process what Commander Pyxis had told you - that the wine you had sipped from was contaminated with Zeke Yeager’s spinal fluid. That the one time, the one instance in which you had let yourself have a drink, it would be the biggest mistake of your life.
At the moment, you were stuck in a cell, swinging your feet on a little stool and trying not to think too hard about what was almost certainly to come within the next few days, maybe in the next few moments. The second that Zeke would yell, it would be over for you. You would transform into the very monster that you had been slaying for the last several years. But, could you really still call them monsters? They were people with lives who had been at the beck and call of Marley. They could have been someone’s Connie, someone’s Sasha. Someone’s Jean… oh god Jean. What would he say when he finds out? Would it be too late, would you have already transformed before you got the chance to say goodbye? And if that did happen, would he even be able to tell if you were a titan? You’d seen it happen before with Armin. A strange, mutated version of the human they once were is projected onto the titan’s face. You almost began to tear up at that possibility - that a gangly titan version of you had your Y/H/C hair, your Y/E/C eyes. A ‘you’ that was so deformed, but still held the characteristics that would prompt someone to say, ‘that’s Y/N’s titan.’
You felt sick. You leant to reach for a bucket, but the locked door that imprisoned you and several others swung open.
“Let’s go, come on. We need you all.” You didn’t bother to look up at the speaker. You were a soldier, and you knew how to follow orders, so you immediately fell into line. A gun was shoved into your hand and there was a pat to your back as you were ushered out of the building and into the usually busy cobblestone streets. A gasp fell from your lips as you looked around you. All over, Marlyeans and Eldians were battling, and in the center of it all, Eren’s titan. That short boy with the raven colored hair that you used to share jokes with and poke fun at, held a stance and stature that felt so wrong. But you didn’t have time to linger or hold onto that thought. Instead, the Beast titan made you freeze in your movements. You couldn’t move, you couldn’t breathe. And yes, while that was part of the titan’s power, this was purely your own body’s actions. An overwhelming fear struck through every one of your nerves that you didn’t notice a Marleyean take aim at you. However, someone else did. In a flurry of movements, Jean killed the man instantly and turned towards you, running as fast as he could. All you could do was watch him. Immediately, Jean gathered you into his arms, clutching and grasping at your arms, your clothes, your hair - like you were water slipping from his hands and he was doing everything he could to keep you there with him.
“Y/N, where the hell have you been, Armin and I have been trying to get everyone of our group back together and you have been the one person to be missing.” He says into your hair, breathing you in and tucking your face into his chest. Again, you find yourself not being able to do anything, so he pulls back to look at you from an arm’s length. “Y/N?”
Your gaze flickers down to your armband and then back to him, which he mimics. You find it truly impressive how many emotions his face shuffles through in one second. Confusion, denial, anger, sadness. He was just missing one to have gone through the whole cycle of grief. Instead, he shook his head.
“No, no. Tell me you didn’t, this has to be a mistake. You hate wine, you hate alcohol in general. It’s probably because you were just with them that they made you wear it.”
“Jean…” you finally croak out, giving him a sad smile and locking your eyes with his. “You… you should go. You need to get away from me. Please.” Pushing him away and backpedaling slowly, you don’t let him out of your sight. He takes a step forward, but your hand goes up. “I don’t want you to be here when this happens, and I don’t think you do either.” His head turns towards the floor, and you know you’ve won. “Hey Jean? Close your eyes for me?” You say, your voice quivering just a bit. He complies. “I love you.” You say, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. And with that, you’re gone, down the road and around the corner. And Zeke let’s forth one hell of a scream.
He lets his feet carry him until he’s into a spring, finally moving to use his ODM gear. Jean finds himself on a rooftop with Armin, Mikasa, and Connie. The light explodes all over the crumbling city, and Jean clamps his hands over his ears. He doesn’t want this, he never wanted this. He wanted a life with you in a little cottage. He wanted to be reading a newspaper while your baby was asleep on his chest, their little hand gripping onto the cloth of his shirt. He won’t get that. He will never get that.
“Is that?” Connie exclaims, shock and sadness taking hold of his tone.
“O-oh my god.” Armin says, his hand moving to cover his dropped jaw.
“No…” Mikasa whispered, her eyes wide. Finally, Jean looks to what they had set their eyes on. A tall, strong looking titan. Y/H/C hair was whipping fiercely in the wind. Y/E/C eyes were buried deep in its face. And quickly, just like that kiss you had given him, a soldier had sliced its nape and it collapsed on the broken, cobble street. Jean let forth a breath. Acceptance.
↪content; warrior!reader, aged-up character, graphic description of violence, slow burn, season 4 spoiler
Tiny footsteps belonging to you echoed throughout the empty hallway. Your forehead scrunched as a bead of sweat trailed down your skin, but you dismissed the discomfort as you needed to find your father, wanting some explanation.
It was around four in the afternoon, and you were certain that your father must be occupying himself inside his study, probably enjoying his coffee as he read some reports regarding the military advance. You always wondered why he got all of that information even though he was not even in the military, but perhaps the book in your hand was the answer to your question, and you had to find out more.
You were used to running around this part of the mansion — since you would spend some of your time here with your father when he didn’t invite the military higher-ups or some of his business partners for a meeting together. Truthfully, you could have waited for later after dinner to confront him, but your mind was already fueled with curiosity that wouldn’t die without being given the right extinguisher.
So you scurry out within an instant, far from the east wing where the library was located to the west where your father would entertain his friends and colleagues. In your small journey, you took off your mules and ran barefoot, ignoring the gasp from the maid that you passed in the hallway.
Panting, you felt the exhaustion course through your body as you finally reached your destination. Some eyes regarded you with worry beneath their intimidating gaze, but they knew that you had been running out of breath before, certain that it was nothing serious.
Two guards were standing tall on each side of the door, guarding your father’s study against the outside, and you were certain there were another two on the other side of the door. They didn’t give you any attention or warning, so you knew that he was not in some kind of meeting or too engrossed with work.
Sucking a deep breath, you hide the book that you found behind your back before raising your hand to the wooden door, knocking it with your knuckles several times, soft yet enough that it would echo inside the room. You heard the rustling of papers, probably from some of the military letters that he read.
“Name and busi—”
“It’s me, pa!”
Your voice cut him off in a gleeful manner, holding yourself from bursting hundreds of questions. If you wanted to know the truth, you needed to play your cards right. Well, what could a six years old girl do? Anything of course, especially if you were the only child (for now) and your parents loved you like you were their stars in the night sky.
You tried to hide your smirk when you heard the audible ‘click’ coming from the inside, followed by the door opening simultaneously. The sun penetrated through the windows, lighting up the whole room and the hallway behind you. A pleasant smell of cedarwood filled your nostrils in an instant, the unique scent that you knew embedded on your father’s suit too since he spent the majority of his time here.
There was a massive round table in the middle of the room, one where you like to sit when your father was busy with work but wanted your company. You would sit there without a care and boredom since your nose mostly touched the paper book in your hand, too engrossed with whatever literature that you could find within his study.
You didn’t need to go back and forth from the east wing and grabbed some books there. Your father studies already engaging enough with a wide variety of history, self-improvement, and many other philosophy books. The room would be engulfed with silence if that happened, but the atmosphere was serene and comforting to both of you, making times fly past naturally and just felt right.
“Well, isn’t it my precious daughter?” He stood up from his plush leather chair, dark yet warm eyes never left your figure as you skipped toward where he was. His lips shaped into a gentle smile as he watched how giddy you looked right now, with both hands on your back as if you had a surprise for him.
It was indeed a surprise, but whether he liked it or not was another story.
“Pa, I need to speak with you!” Your bubbly personality was always so endearing. You were witty, smart, wise — his little rascal but still had a personality like a noble lady when needed.
“And what do you want to talk to me about, my little star?” He walked closer before kneeling in front of you, levelling his eyes with yours. “Something serious? Something playful? Or maybe you just want to talk to me since you missed your pa so much?” His smile turned into a little smirk, raising one of his eyebrows in a teasing manner.
You jutted your lips at his question as your hands clench tighter on the brown books that you found before. Your father waited for any kind of explanation, but you didn’t open up your mouth, not even a little. But you suddenly averted your gaze away, pupils shifting back and forth.
He blinked, trying to understand what it was that you wanted. Your father then looked past you, finding the guards inside the room. It left a question inside his mind at the moment, because you never once needed to talk alone as you always threw questions at him without caring if anybody heard.
This would be the first time, and he decided to indulge you with it.
“Guards, you can wait outside.”
“Sir, with all due respect—”
“Please.”
The two guards looked at each other before giving your father a salute, answered with a firm nod from him. You stood still with your eyes closed as you waited until the sound of footsteps started to fade, not realizing the scrutinizing look that he threw at you. The second you heard a gentle thud echoed in the room, you let out a breath that you subconsciously held.
You were alone now, with your father waiting for any syllables to come out from your lips. A few seconds ago you were so eager, ready to burst out all of the questions that popped inside your mind. But now, as he gazed at you with a look that you couldn’t fathom, you started to rethink your decision.
Would he mad at you for reading the book that he strictly said was forbidden to read? He always kept it inside a glass compartment, telling you that it was filled with a history of mankind. The truth that someday he would tell you. So would he be angry if you knew it now instead of later?
“You read the journal, my star?” You subconsciously dropped the book as you never thought he could see through you like that. Your hands were shaking behind your back before you tightly grip your bow’s dress, fearing that he would not let you walk inside the library ever again.
Seeing the distress in your eyes, he immediately rested his hand on your shoulder, squeezing it gently as if to make sure that you didn’t have to be afraid. That whatever you did, you always became his little star, the daughter that he loved so much. “It’s alright, sooner or later I will tell you all of it.”
His voice was calm as he picked up the book from behind you, opening it right in front of your face as he checked that in case some pages were wrinkled. You still kept your mouth shut, waiting for him to say something more — because for sure his words before were still not enough to calm yourself.
When he looked at you again, you were averting his gaze and decided to look down. So he closed the book and reached out for you, holding your much smaller hand as he brought you toward his desk. The silence was deafening as he didn’t say anything afterwards, making you have to focus on the footsteps to dwindle your concern.
His hand was warm as it engulfed yours, squeezing it softly here and there as he plopped himself to his chair. With how light you were, he picked you up and tucked you gently on his lap, wanting to make sure that you were comfortable since it would take some time to explain everything to you.
“Now, can you tell me what you already know so far?”
It was now that you finally dared to look up, curious about the expression on his face. You should have known that your father wouldn’t be angry at you, he couldn’t, at least not towards you. His face didn’t even show any sign of resentment, he just sat there, looking down, and waited until you were ready to talk.
“Almost everything, I guess.” You finally dared to speak up, yet it still sounded so timid. “That King Fritz was not our enemy, it was thanks to him that the war is over.” Continuing your words, you swallowed a huge lump. “And those people on the island, they are not demons, but they are exactly like—”
“Us.”
He finished your word without pause, knowing what you were going to say next like he always did. Your forehead scrunched at this, lips turned into a scowl as you tried to understand the world that you live in right now. All the war, the hatred that Eldians received inside the internment zone, if only this true story was out in the public then they wouldn’t get treated like that, right?
“B-But why do we hide this information, then?” You croaked out, not believing that your family concealed such truth. “If people knew that King Fritz was the one who wanted peace, if only the whole world knew that Eldians did not want anything but to live like a normal human, they were not going to be treated like this, pa!”
You were begging right now, needing some answer that could justify the choice they made. It felt awful, like someone had put a blindfold on you all your life, whispering to you that the world filled with hatred and that because of your ancestors, because of the blood that flows inside your veins and there was nothing else that you could do except living through the brutal knowledge.
But it was all a lie, because your family could have made a change in this world yet didn’t do anything about it.
Your father just sat there, listening to your cries and complaints. He knew from the start that you were someone that would do anything for Eldians to be free, he often saw you sneaking around and talked to the maids, after all, questioning about how their children were at home and many other mundane things.
He didn’t have the courage to tell you, the reason why he kept the information to himself when he was warned by the current inheritor. He didn’t have the courage to tell you what lies across the sea, what slept inside the walls that the king had made. As your father, he didn’t want his six years old innocent daughter to know that the fate of the world was in their hands — the Eldian.
His lips turned into a frown as he realized. No matter how much he wanted to protect you from this cruel world, no matter how much he just wanted you to live and be happy without a burden on your shoulder, he couldn’t grant his wish.
Because soon, you would be the one in the family who held the biggest responsibility.
“You would know soon enough, my little star.” He gulped down, dark orbs gazing at your face as he was so tormented from this fact only. Your beady eyes shone under the orange hue that slipped through the large windows, making you look even more innocent, an angel to him and his wife as he cradled you like this on his lap.
Soon, and he needed to start telling you now how much weight you would carry throughout your life. “Once you inherit the war hammer titan.”
“Wake up!”
You sat up straight as you tried to inhale the air bit by bit, feeling like your dreams that you had just stolen the oxygen out of your lungs. No, it was not a dream, it was a memory that you had with your father. The day when you knew the truth, the day when you knew your responsibility and how you needed to keep a blind eye over it.
And for sure, hiding the fact from everyone was the hardest part. Especially when you had these people you called friends as you invaded the island of Paradis with the mission to take back the founding titan. You wanted to tell them the danger, or how the people inside the wall were not as different from those in Liberio.
But you had made a vow to your father to keep your lips sealed, no matter how much you wanted to share it. And you were not going to break that promise, not when you knew there was a high possibility that you wouldn’t make it back alive.
“I am sorry, I should have been more gentle.” Your gaze still cast down your lap, wanting to control your emotion first before interacting with the other warrior. “Nightmare?” But his gentle, mature voice was so endearing you couldn’t help but lookup.
His forehead scrunched in worry as you realized that he squatted down right in front of you. Large hazel eyes scrutinizing your every movement, and you felt so bare with how he seemed like he could see right through you.
“I am fine, Marcel.” You answered him a matter of factly, not wanting to prolong the constant worry that he had for his fellow warriors. “Sorry, I will clean up the firepit and be ready in a minute.”
“Oh, no need. I mean— you don’t need to.” He stood up, reaching out his hand for you, and you took it despite the confusion that was written all over your face. “I already cleaned it up, so you just have to grab your bag and we will be ready to continue our journey.”
“Marcel!” You exclaimed, stomping your feet to the ground subconsciously as your eyes drilled on his skull. “It was supposed to be my turn!” And your outburst of course caught the others’ attention. “You always do something like this, making sure that everyone could leisure around while you did all the work.”
“(Y/n), I am sure that he—” The glare in your eyes now fell to another victim, the colossal titan inheritor, and you could see him flinch from just being the recipient of your glare. “N-Nevermind, I will just, uhm, check on Reiner if he is okay.”
And just like that, he scurried off to find his friend, not wanting to interrupt your little tantrum that he was sure would subside soon.
Bertolt knew you, you were always a little cranky when you woke up, at least that was what he could see by the past three days as he woke up with you not far from him. You needed at least a minute just opening your eyes without doing anything, and after that, you were good to go. So he understood why you seemed so extra for what Marcel did right now.
You continued to scold the older boy who just stood there scratching his nape bashfully and apologizing for what he did. He didn’t do anything wrong, but you just disliked the idea that someone did something that was supposed to be your job. Though you always said thank you before taking your leave.
Feeling that you had enough with boys, you walked to Annie who was currently nibbling at some sweets that you gave her before at the boat that brought the companion here. She seemed to see your little quarrel but decided to keep silent, waiting for Marcel to lead the way when he was done fanning his reddened cheek.
Three days had passed after Marley dropped you off to this cursed land. Everyone had so much expectation for this generation, and the fact that a Tybur took part in the mission brought so much hope to the Eldians in your homeland.
Your father was right about the burden that you were going to have. All the expectations set the bar so high for you. So for that, he prepared you to be a reliable and strong individual. Ever since the revelation, he pointed a lot of private instructors to teach you all the basic things about self-defence, archery, firearms, and swordsmanship skills.
You were shaped to be the Eldian’s saviour in Marley, ever since you were six. And you would make sure that all your knowledge and experiences would be put to good use.
Marcel told you about the plan, and for now, they all would rely on Bertolt and Reiner’s titan since it was the most destructive and save the rest for later days. When he first told you about the plan, the two of you were alone, he liked to discuss strategy first with you because your mind was the most mature of all of them.
And all the time he told you about it, your mind always thought that it was so wrong for him to ask for your advice. You wanted to tell him not to destroy the whole outer wall, just one district was enough and everyone could sneak in already. But you knew the chances to get in were lower if there was not enough damage.
So reluctantly, you agreed. You told him that he was brilliant, telling him that it would work for the warriors. And after that, everyone would enrol in the military cadet corps, some would graduate to be a survey corps, while the others joined the military police regiment. It would need a few years to get by, but it would be the safest and optimal route.
Just a few years here and you could come back home, reading books and annoying your father even more. Though you were sure that your mother would scold you for spending too much time with him, she would want you to go horseback riding with her while telling some stories about the family.
Yes, everything would be just like before, and you couldn’t wait for it.
Your eyes fleeting toward the brunette who walked in front of you, his hair swept to the back, reminding you of his brother that was the complete opposite of him in terms of personality. Marcel was gentle, compassionate, reliable, all the things that you would expect from an elder sibling. Meanwhile, Porco was aggressive, emotional, and somewhat a little rude when he talked.
And the big difference between Porco and Marcel that you knew, was the fact that the younger brother despised you. The blonde often threw shades and mockery, telling you that you were not like them, how you were a spoiled kid, and could never understand what Eldian really feels with all the privilege that you had due to your last name.
But that didn’t stop you from wanting to befriend him. You could see through his harsh facade, he was actually gentle inside and cared deeply for all the warrior candidates. He even let his guard down that day when they knew Reiner would be the armoured titan inheritor instead of him, letting you sit beside him outside the headquarters as he let out a sob.
He wept silently when you put your hand on his back, comforting him through the single touch. That was the only push he needed before breaking down in front of you, cursing himself for not being a better candidate, that it was his fault for being too confident in his skill and not trying harder to get the military’s attention.
Oh, if only he knew. If only he knew the real reason why he was not here.
It felt like it happened such a long time ago despite knowing a month just passed ever since. You wondered what the other warrior did right now, more accurately, what was he doing right now. Maybe he had lunch with his family, or perhaps beating himself to the pulp and kept on training until he couldn’t stand anymore.
Knowing that was enough to make you frown since you really cared for him, and to think that he blamed himself for his failure broke your heart even more. Every time you walked, there was an extra weight on your chest as an ivory shark tooth pendant grazing your skin, reminding you of your days in Marley once again.
Especially the day when you received the necklace, something you never took off ever since.
And now as you walked right behind Marcel, you could only imagine that the brown strands were blonde instead. But you shook your head after that, knowing for certain he would have a longer lifespan, that he wouldn’t have to carry so much burden like the rest of you. He could enjoy his life, and that was what caused Marcel to put Reiner on the pedestals instead of him.
You didn’t remember since when you were getting left behind. Of course you could still see the fellow warriors in front of you, but they were a few meters ahead from where you were. It happened a lot, so you didn’t really complain since they knew sometimes you would need alone time.
It was not like there were titans around anyway, the Marleyan Military had assured you that the titans would only be there near the outer wall. So everyone should be saved since it was still halfway through the journey, no one needed to worry and be too on guard for now.
At least that was what you believed until you saw a large shadow looming from behind you.
The silence was deafening when you felt the air sucked out from the space around you, leaving you to stand there alone as you slowly lost the ability to breathe. Fear, that was what you felt right now as your mind could only conclude one thing — there was a titan, right behind you.
No, you still needed to finish your mission. You had promised your father that you would come back to him, you had promised your mother that you would come back home intact, even if it needed you a few years to grant that, as long as you could see them again, it was alright.
As long as you could come back and see him happy and living a beautiful life even when your term was going to end, it would be fine.
But you were glued to the ground, your muscles tensed and you couldn’t move your limbs to run, or just to evade that gigantic hand which now ready to crush your small body with its hand. Yet despite all that, you felt a strong push coming from your side, pushing you out of the way and snapped you back to reality.
You saw Marcel, his dark brown hair dishevelled as now his torso engulfed in the hand of a titan. He looked distressed, panicked, and he flailed his body around as he tried with all his might to survive, despite an impeccable fate that he already knew deep inside his heart.
No one knew where it came from, one second they were chatting, and the next as Marcel saw a titan running toward you, his feet moved on their own with one goal to reach for you. You couldn’t see it, you just gave him an empty look as you were just deep in thought a moment before.
He knew that you would be too shocked to understand what happened, he knew that you couldn’t move away when you turned to see what was standing behind you. And there was something inside his soul that boosted him to run faster, pushing you away as he decided to replace you.
“Come on, let’s go!”
He heard Reiner shouting at you who was still sitting on the grass, eyes focused on him as you tried to wrap your head around you. There were tears in your orbs when Bertolt and Reiner pulled you away forcefully, your legs even wobbled, and that was when the ravenette decided to hoist you up over his shoulder.
Marcel heard the shout, the pleading in your voice as you called out his name. The others were running to safety, but he could still see you as your hand stretched out for him, not believing that you would lose him like this.
“(Y/n)!” He screamed with all his might, hoping that you could hear what he said. Wide teeth already surrounded his head, and it was a matter of time before his world turned black. So he needed to say it, he needed you to tell his brother that his job was done for now. “Tell Porco I did it!”
Then he was gone as the jaw of the titans closed with his body in between it. He died in the hand of a titan who no one knew where it came from. You should have been cautious, no matter what, this island was filled with titans and you shouldn’t have trusted whatever the Marleyan Military said. And it should have been you, not him.
Your eyes never left the scene as you saw Marcel being devoured alive, starting from his head, slowly down to his hip. The details were so vivid and you were sure it would be engraved in your mind for as long as you lived. This would be your constant nightmare, reminding you every day what a cruel world you lived in.
And you didn’t know if you were ever ready — if someday you met a circumstance when you had to face Porco, knowing that his brother died saving you.
Fandom: Attack on Titan Pairing: Eren x Reader Words:4k
Warnings: Season 4 spoilers (namely for Part 1), canon divergence, Reader is a Titan Shifter, open discrimination against Eldians and Paradis, blood and violence, references to depression and coping with PTSD, disregard for said PTSD, mentions of past romantic feelings (which may or may not be reciprocated and/or still strong in the present tense)
A/N: I’m *finally* back with another chapter, woohoo! I’m sorry this came out later than I originally intended. Right now I’m a bit preoccupied with writing my Levi/OC fic, so that’s taking most of my time when I’m not working on this story. I’m almost done with Part 5 but I might wait to post it until I have the majority of Part 6 written out, just so I’m not rushing myself. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter! It’s a bit of a slower one, but it gives (in my opinion anyway) a little bit of a break from the events of the last couple chapters. If you want to be added to the taglist, let me know and I’ll include you! (And if I forgot to tag anyone I’m incredibly sorry!)
The first thing you notice when you open your eyes is how cold the air is. Musty, damp, the scent of dirt strong against your nose. Your back is stiff, your shoulder hurts like hell.
You reach up and touch your forehead. At least the cut has healed.
A single lantern hangs in the corner of the room—on the other side of a set of steel bars. A prison cell, you realize with a shiver. Probably in the underground dungeons, directly below Mitras. Or at least, one of the districts of Wall Sina.
But why? Why are you still alive?
You don’t remember much after passing out. You remember falling in and out of sleep, hearing all kinds of voices speaking around you, none of them saying words that made any sense. You remember feeling cold, hard bands around your wrists, but when you glance down at them, you can’t see anything. You’re not chained to the wall or tied up or handcuffed in any way. Just trapped in a prison cell underground.
A cage, and you almost laugh bitterly.
There’s no one outside the cage, not even a couple of guards to keep watch. Why not? Even if the Scouts brought you back to Paradis and kept you alive as their prisoner, why wouldn’t they at least make sure you were being watched?
Never mind that. You can break out of this cell at any time, with the War Hammer’s power. Just one flick of your wrist and—
The gentle sound of footsteps echo through the hall. You sit up in the bed (the only piece of furniture in the cell, minus the sink and toilet) and watch as the newcomer steps into the light.
Your chest aches when you see Commander Hanji Zoë, staring at you through the bars of the cell with her one good eye.
You haven’t seen her since the day you left Paradis. Since the day the Scouts found out about the outside world. She’s changed in the last four years—not just her hairstyle, but that familiar glow of laughter in her eyes is gone. You faintly remember losing Moblit in the battle for Shiganshina; losing him must’ve been a huge blow for her.
She sighs softly, before leaning against the wall directly across your cell. She’s dressed in a familiar green overcoat that reaches down to her knees, with the Wings of Freedom sewn over the chest pocket and sleeves. You remember wearing those wings once, and actually being proud of them.
The memory makes you want to cry.
“Why did you keep me alive?”
Hanji hangs her head. “It was Eren’s idea.”
Your temples start to pound with a headache. Wasn’t Eren going to eat you back in Marley? Use the Jaw Titan’s teeth to crush your Titan’s crystal to pieces and steal the War Hammer Titan from you? It makes no sense for him to want to bring you back to Paradis alive, rather than devouring you right there on the battlefield. He must know of the danger you pose to Paradis and the rest of its citizens; in fact, all of the Scouts should know that by now. So why bring you back with them in the first place?
“It’s been a while,” Hanji says weakly, offering you a slight smile. Not like the ones she’s given you in the past, full of hope and pride and affection. “How’ve you been?”
Your gaze drops to the ground. Why is she asking you something like this? You don’t know how to respond, so you simply shrug your shoulders at her.
“I see…” She sighs again and sinks to the ground in a sitting position. You follow suit, the ends of your festival dress brushing against the steel bars. “Eren told me what happened that day…after you left.”
Of course he did. You cross your arms against your knees, hugging them to your chest. Hanji takes your silence as a sign to continue—and honestly, the sound of her voice is somewhat soothing, even after all this time.
“It didn’t make sense at first, why you would leave with them. We didn’t suspect you with Reiner and the others, when the Female Titan attacked for the first time. You never gave us any reason to suspect you; we never had a Titan to link you to.” She laughs a little at that part, and suddenly you’re reminded of her love for Titans beyond the Walls, and you wonder if she still has that wild spark inside of her somewhere. “You insisted you didn’t know anything, even when we questioned you about it. You’re a very capable liar, I suppose.”
Liar, hero, heir, traitor. So many words have been used to describe you over the years, and not a single one of them were false.
“You never interfered with our plans to attack the Armored and Colossal Titans in Shiganshina, nor did you stop us from trying to take on the Beast Titan. And yet…you never shared any of your intel with us. Never helped us with our strategies, never warned us of what the enemy could do next.”
“There was nothing to share,” you mumble into the crook of your arm. “You figured it out pretty fast, Commander.”
She scoffs at the title. “Maybe so, but we could’ve used your help. Maybe we could’ve saved a few lives, back in Shiganshina.”
You know instantly she’s thinking of Moblit. Of Erwin, the previous Commander of the Survey Corps, and the countless other Scouts who perished on that day. Is their blood on your hands, as well?
“Still,” she continues, “you left with them in the end. Even after you told the Beast Titan you wouldn’t.”
So why?
Suddenly, you want to tell her everything. The possibility of seeing Fine again, the tarnished reputation of your family’s name, the promise of glory upon returning to Marley—and even the pain that grew in your chest that day, with every passing moment, until you finally said goodbye to Eren in the middle of the night.
But what good will come of it? Who is she to have pity on you, especially at a time like this? To someone like you, who’s killed more Scouts and civilians both directly and indirectly, thanks to your involvement with Marley? Who sat by and watched as your fellow Scouts struggled to understand the concept of intelligent Titans, to even consider the possibility of Titan Shifters in the first place. You, who could’ve played a huge role in bringing glory to Paradis and the rest of humanity on the island, saving at least a hundred lives in the process…
But you didn’t. You were a bystander until the end—until you ran home like a coward, seeking refuge across the sea.
“Listen,” Hanji finally says, and your head jerks up at her voice, “I’m well aware that you were probably in the same boat as Reiner. You were mostly likely forced to do Marley’s bidding without any will of your own. So I don’t blame you for that. However,” there’s an edge to her voice now, “the same cannot be said for the way you abandoned us. After so many years of fighting against Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie…why would you go back to them at the very end?”
You reach down and start to pick at a loose thread of your skirt, the frayed ends barely clinging to the fabric. Hanji’s staring at you intently now, silently demanding an answer from you.
You have no business obeying her; she’s not your Commander anymore.
And yet, you find yourself mumbling out, “Because I couldn’t bear to stay here.”
For the first time in all the years you’ve known her, Hanji is stunned to silence. Slowly, you raise yourself off the ground and dust off the skirt of your dress, meeting her gaze and struggling to keep calm.
“You already know I’m a Tybur. One of the most influential Eldian families within Marley. I was selected to carry the burden of the War Hammer Titan and use it to steal the Founder away from the citizens of Paradis. But once we actually started that mission…” Tears cling to your eyelashes, threatening to drip down your cheeks. “…I realized that it couldn’t be done. We were kids, Hanji. I was a kid. And I didn’t want to answer for Marley’s sins anymore!”
Your head is pounding something fierce now, electric jolts flooding your veins. You can feel your Titan surging forward at the fury, but you will it to stay back and contain itself. There’s no use in breaking out now and running the risk of possibly killing Hanji. Not when she’s shown a bit of mercy towards you.
“So I played dumb. I didn’t want anything to do with Reiner or Bertholdt, so I pretended to be one of you. I wanted to forget about Marley and just pretend I was an Eldian. None of you knew you were Eldians, good or bad…you were just people! And I wanted to be a part of that.”
Everything comes crashing down on you at once. Training with the 104th cadets, acting like the kids you were. Sharpening your blades just in time to defend the city of Trost, when the Colossal Titan mysteriously appeared once more. Battling Annie in Stohess District in her Titan form, and solidifying your loyalty to the Scouts and Paradis—and watching the sick betrayal wallow up in her Titan’s eyes at the realization.
Everything else from that moment on followed suit: your rejection of Reiner and Bertholdt, your determination to defend Eren and Historia, and your refusal to return home in the end with Reiner and Zeke. Only, you had betrayed that sense of loyalty to the Scouts, as well as Paradis. You had abandoned them when they needed you the most, damning your name on the island of devils.
“Zeke found me and Eren, after the battle. He said my family wanted me to come home, and I thought of my cousin—she’s more like a sister now, and the other kids… They were still waiting for me to come home! And I didn’t want to leave them without at least saying goodbye first! But…I never found the chance to come back, like I planned…”
It wasn’t as though you’d be welcomed back with open arms, anyway. From the way Eren looked at you that night, green eyes filled with tears, angry red Titan marks etched on his skin… You knew you would never be allowed to return to this island alive.
So then…why was it Eren who insisted on bringing you back with him?
An unsettling silence forms between the two of you. Hanji clears her throat and leans against the wall again, while you rest your forehead on the cold steel bars. Your Titan’s energy has died a little, the thrumming less pronounced beneath your skin. At least you’re in control again, you remind yourself. But it doesn’t do anything to lessen the pain in your chest.
“…You always did seem a little out of place with them.” You glance up at Hanji, who manages to smile at you through the bars of the cell. “With Reiner and Bertholdt, I mean. You always seemed to fit so well with Eren and Armin and Mikasa.”
…I did? You never thought of yourself as one of them, even before learning about Eren’s Attack Titan ability. You never deemed yourself worthy enough to be considered as part of their group, no matter how much Eren insisted you were.
“Also,” she adds, with a sly smile stretching across her face, “you were attached to the hip with Eren. I’m surprised Mikasa never got jealous of you, honestly.”
Words that intend to bring up a happy memory, maybe even a sense of longing for the past. But instead you sink to your knees in the dirt of your cell, wrapping your arms around your upper half. The tears come hard and fast, cascading down your cheeks like little rivers.
You don’t want to live in Marley. You don’t want to go back to that horrible place.
You don’t want to stay in Paradis with the people you betrayed. The people who treated you as one of their own for the longest time.
You don’t want to be stuck in this endless war anymore. A cycle of hate that keeps on living, two different kinds of people always clawing at each other’s throats. You don’t want to be a pawn in their game anymore.
You don’t want to be the head of the Tybur family. You don’t want to use the power of the War Hammer Titan, not even to break yourself out of this damned cell.
You don’t want to fall asleep at night, thinking of the countless people you’ve murdered over the years. You don’t want to scrape your hands raw beneath the running water every time you visit the washroom, trying so hard to clean the blood off your skin, even when you can’t see it anymore. You can still feel it, no matter how many times you wash them off—you don’t want to feel it anymore.
All you want is to spend the last four years of your life with the green-eyed boy you used to love, in the little cabin at the heart of an unknown forest, just as you’ve always dreamed about.
Eren Jaeger. After all these years, you’re still in love with Eren Jaeger.
Hanji watches you from the other side of the bars, awkwardly shifting her weight from one foot to the other. The Hanji from before, the one who didn’t know you were part of Marley’s Warrior Unit yet, would sink to her knees alongside you and pull you close to her chest for a hug.
But you don’t expect her to do anything like that; not when she knows you can kill her at any second.
Still, she doesn’t leave without saying a few more words: “This cell is beneath Stohess District, just so you know. You won’t do much good trying to break out—so please, try not to do so.”
You barely have the strength to nod as she turns away and disappears down the hall. Only when you hear the heavy door slam shut do you bury your face into your hands, sobbing uncontrollably as the War Hammer’s power thrums to life beneath your skin.
“How is she faring, doctor?”
You can hear the man’s voice on the other side of the door, soft and gentle as he speaks to your aunt. “A little shaken up, but she’ll be fine. I suggest you give her some time, though. God only knows what she’s seen over there.”
Over there. On the other side of the sea, on the island of devils.
“But I wouldn’t worry,” the doctor continues, and you can just imagine him shaking his head. “She’s a strong girl. She’ll get through it eventually.”
“I hope so.” You can hear your aunt sigh, and your hands curl into fists on your lap. “She’ll forget about the time spent over there, I’m sure. It must’ve been hard for her, surrounded by so many devils. Pretending to be one of them.”
But you are one of them. Whether you live on one side of the sea or the other, they’re all the same. They share the same blood of the devil, the same curse they were born with.
But it won’t do you any good to point that out to your aunt. As caring and understanding that she can be, she has little tolerance for talk about the Eldians living on the other side of the ocean. Those are the cursed Eldians, while the ones in Marley (like your own family’s bloodline) are the honored ones. The ones blessed to live in a place like Marley to begin with. The ones that can travel freely throughout the nation, and not just trapped within the gates of Liberio.
The ones not confined by a cage.
But it still feels as though you’re in one.
So you snap your lips shut and wait for your aunt to finish talking to the doctor. You’ll go along with whatever treatment they have planned for you, to help you with the nightmares and episodes. It’ll be better for everyone if you don’t mention anything from that damned island at all, much less the devils living there. The last thing you want is to upset Fine and the other children with horrible talk like that.
They are the devils, you remind yourself, over and over again as the months crawl by. They are the devils of the world. It’s their fault we’re in this mess to begin with.
But in the dead of night, curled up in your bed with nothing but the shadows to keep you company, you can feel the tears slipping down your cheeks, as the memories come flooding back, one by one.
They are all devils—but so are we.
So am I.
The days pass by slowly. You remain in your cell, offered meager meals and water twice every single day from a pair of guards. But then you’re left to your own devices once more, staring at the lone lantern hanging from the corner of the cell.
Hanji comes to visit you a few more times. You half-expect her to drag Captain Levi down here with her one of these days, just so he can beat the living hell out of you for your betrayal. You wouldn’t be surprised—you just aren’t exactly looking forward to it. But he doesn’t visit you.
Neither does Eren. Although, you don’t really expect him to, at this point.
Armin visits you one day, and at first you almost don’t recognize him. His hair is cut shorter than you remember, styled in an undercut, and his eyes have lost that hopeful blue luster. But he still tries to smile at you, when he greets you from the other side of your cell.
“I think I get it, now,” he mumbles, as the two of you take a seat on either side of the bars. “Why you guys did what you did…on that day.”
The day Wall Maria fell…the day Shiganshina fell to the Titans. The memories make you shudder.
Of course, Armin would try to understand you. He was always the most empathetic, forming a bond with you at the first opportunity. The two of you always had a special connection, nowhere near as emotional and intimate as the one you shared with Eren, but something else entirely. Something else that was still just as special to you. Throughout your years on Paradis, you never once regretted meeting Armin Arlert.
You ask him the same question you asked Hanji, and he answers you with downcast eyes: “Eren thought you could be useful to our cause—that’s why he managed to convince Commander Hanji and Captain Levi to keep you down here.”
You can only scoff and shake your head. “Then why was he prepared to kill me back then, in Liberio? He was going to take the War Hammer Titan for himself…so why didn’t he do it when he had the chance?”
Armin sighs in defeat, lowering his head to the dirt below. “I…I think he might still have a soft spot for you.”
Nowthat is completely unrealistic. Armin’s usually smarter than this—has he hit his head or something?
There’s no way in hell Eren Jaeger has a soft spot for you. Not after everything you’ve put him through. Not after you left him in the middle of the forest that night, angry tears streaming down his cheeks, fists rigid against the collar of your shirt. You remember it all too well, and even after all this time, the swirl of guilt has never left your stomach.
You wonder if he wants to kill you himself, once this is all over.
“He hates me,” you spit out, “I’m sure of it. You heard about what happened that night, didn’t you? How I left him and the Survey Corps behind?” To go back to Reiner and Zeke, so we could escape back to Marley?
“He told us,” Armin replies without missing a beat, “but I’m sure you had your reasons. You were probably threatened, weren’t you? You probably still have a family over there…”
His voice trails off awkwardly at the mention of them. Anger sears through your veins as you remember your uncle, broken and bloody as the Attack Titan swallowed him whole. Your uncle, who planned to die before the night was up, leaving the rest of his family behind to pave the way for Marley’s survival.
“It doesn’t matter anymore,” you growl, pressing your palms into the dirt. “It’s not like I’m ever going to see them again. I’m not making it out of this cell, am I?”
Armin opens his mouth to object…then snaps it shut soon after. He heaves another sigh, and you know right then and there, that you’re not walking away from Paradis any time soon.
“They’re still deciding on what to do with you,” he finally breaks the silence. “Either to keep you as a prisoner or give the War Hammer to another soldier…or maybe to Eren himself.”
You squeeze your eyes shut. Of course, that would be their plan. Eren tried to do the same thing in Liberio, so why not just help him along and—
“But he refused.”
“…What?”
“He said he didn’t want your Titan. He didn’t want its power…at least, not yet. So I guess that buys you a little more time in here.”
He doesn’t…want to inherit the War Hammer Titan? It makes no sense—why would he try to devour you back in Liberio, but not do it now, when you’re weakened and incapable of fighting back? Now is the perfect opportunity to take the War Hammer from you, and he’s just throwing it away like it’s nothing.
“But why wouldn’t he take it for himself? And don’t say it’s because he has a soft spot,” your lip curls at those final words, and Armin winces beneath your gaze. “There has to be another reason.”
Armin clears his throat before rising from his seat. He brushes the dirt off his coat, blue eyes fixed on you the entire time.
“I suppose you can ask him that yourself. But if you want my opinion,” he smiles weakly, and for a moment you see a flash of the mischievous boy you once knew inside the Walls, his eyes the color of the sea’s salty waves, “I don’t think he’s completely let go of the past.”
What does he mean by that? Does Eren still despise you for betraying the Scouts, for leaving Paradis for Marley in the dead of night? For breaking his heart after you made him promise to live with you once the war was over? For giving him false hope that you could lead a somewhat normal life once the Titans were defeated in the battle for Shiganshina?
Or…is there something else to Armin’s words, something he’s not outright telling you? Is it possible that Eren, even after all this time and everything you made him suffer through, still looks at you and sees the young girl from the 104th Training Corps? The one who made him smile and held back his arm when he threatened to fight with Jean, the one that bared her blades at a moment’s notice, ready to protect him alongside Mikasa? The one he shared a silly tavern room with the night before the battle, the one he promised to live together with once this damn war was over?
Maybe Armin’s right, as crazy as it sounds. Maybe, after all these years, Eren still sees you as the girl he once loved.
Well, I suppose that makes two of us.
But Armin’s gone before you can ask him anything more. The heavy door slams at the end of the hall, echoing through the darkness. You turn to rest on the bed in the corner, to mull over what he’s just told you—but then you hear something else, a soft sound through the shadows.
Another pair of footsteps, closing in on the cell. You hold your breath and face the newcomer head-on, your blood singing in your veins.
Warnings: sex shop AU, sex toys (particularly bullet vibrators), mentions of virginity, very light corruption kink, overstimulation (and slight crying, still consensual), dirty talk, implied oral sex
(And just as a side note, I never expected the first part to blow up as much as it did! So thank you to everyone who’s taken the time to read my first set of thirsty HCs for our favorite lil captain. It means the world to me! So I hope you enjoy this little follow-up!)
Sex shop worker! Levi who brings you into the back room upon your first real “lesson.” He’s taught you the basics, about cleaning your toys and how to store them properly. (Which wasn’t the ideal first lesson to you, but you’re happy with the knowledge nonetheless.) The last thing he wants happening is for you to get sick from not taking care of them properly.
Sex shop worker! Levi who simply revels in the way your eyes dart around the dim hallway, the way your fingers twist around each other, the way your knees almost knock together when he stops at a certain room on the right. So eager—so innocent.
Sex shop worker! Levi who smirks to himself when he sees your jaw drop as he pushes the door open. A plain looking room, but a lovely shade of red, with a velvet couch resting in the center. Not too fancy, but enough to spice up the air. And it’s no secret that you’re anticipating what he has in store for you, by the way you’re not-so-subtly squeezing your thighs together.
Sex shop worker! Levi who looks incredibly alluring beneath the faint red light. The mere sight of him is enough to make your head spin: the sharp outline of his jaw, the muscles pressing against the sleeves of his shirt, the midnight bangs that fall over his piercing eyes… Your face grows hot when he glances at you, lips quirked in a smug grin. He knows what he’s doing to you—and you swear he can hear your heart thrumming against your rib cage as he slowly makes his way over to you, but not before locking the door with a faint click.
Sex shop worker! Levi who slips the little plastic bag from the crook of your elbow—the one carrying the toy you’ve brought along with you—his fingers fluttering against your heated skin. The very first toy you bought under his supervision (more like, the first toy you ever bought): a little bullet vibrator, tiny and purple and oh so full of possibilities. You made sure to clean it well before he took you back here, so you could jump right into your first ever private lesson.
Sex shop worker! Levi, whose voice is soft and deep as he orders you to “Strip.” Your fingers tremble against the hem of your shirt, the button of your jeans, fuck why did you decide to wear them it’s already so hot in here—and just to assure you that you’re not alone, he pulls his shirt up and over his head, and you barely have time to steal a glimpse of his abdomen before he’s kissing your throat, fingers pressed against your neck to keep you in place.
Sex shop worker! Levi who takes it upon himself to undress you, slipping your pretty pink panties off, hanging them around one ankle as he lowers you along the couch. You’ve managed to dance around his suspicions multiple times before, but now it’s absolutely certain: you’re a virgin, from the gentle pecks you press to his cheek, to the way you shiver and moan against his touch. So sweet, and yet so sinful. Oh, he’s going to have so much fun with you.
Sex shop worker! Leviwho takes his time with you. Exploring your body, dragging his tongue along the dips of your collarbone, brushing his hands along your bare hips. His cock swells in his boxers when he feels your little hands roaming along his chest, his neck, nails biting against the scruff of his undercut. A sweet moan fills his ears when he slides a finger through your slick. “So fucking wet already.” It’s hard not to blush as he stares down at you, dipping his finger into his mouth with a groan.
Sex shop worker! Leviwho flicks the vibrator on with his thumb, watching as you jolt at the sound of the buzz. Eyes wide, jaw slack, chest heaving—he decides it’s a sight he could never get tired of, as he lowers the bullet against your stomach. The first brush makes you tense up, eyes fluttering shut as he circles it around your skin, soft and gentle, and maybe this isn’t so bad, you could get used to this—
Sex shop worker! Levi who presses the bullet against your clit, and suddenly you’re writhing and babbling and throwing your head back against the arm of the couch. Your nails are tiny razors against his shoulders, thighs quivering beneath his own as he circles the bullet around your clit. Your tongue feels heavy in your mouth, eyes frantically darting from his face to his hand, to try to figure out what the fuck is he doing to make it feel so fucking good…
Sex shop worker! Levi, whose mouth is suddenly against the shell of your ear, whispering sinful promises in that deep, seductive voice of his. “Why don’t you cum for me, princess? I know you can do it. Cum for me like a good girl.” And the thought of being his good girl,only his, is enough to make you scream out his name as you clench around nothing, the bullet thrumming against your burning clit.
Sex shop worker! Levi who doesn’t stop circling your clit, even when the tears are leaking from your eyes. Instead of pushing his wrist away, you buck your hips into his hand, moaning his name over and over and over again. He plays with the settings on the bullet, trying out different patterns and rhythms, trying to see what elicits the strongest response from your body. It’s a drug you’ll never get tired of, a drink you can’t get enough of. You can feel yourself gushing beneath his body, slick dribbling onto the cushions—Levi won’t be happy if you make a mess—but it feels too good that you can’t find it in yourself to care. All that matters is the man above you, who’s intent on bringing you to the edge as many times as he can.
Sex shop worker! Levi who finally lets you rest after the fourth time, slowly massaging your clit with the bullet. You whimper when the pressure finally eases up, tears staining your cheeks, chest slick with sweat as you gaze up at him. He leaves a gentle kiss on your forehead before placing the toy on the table beside the couch. He’ll clean it as soon as he’s finished with you.
Sex shop worker! Levi who ignores the way you yelp when he lifts your legs, palms resting in the crooks of your knees, as he settles down between your thighs, silver eyes flickering up to meet your own. “You’re fucking filthy, princess,” and there’s the slightest trace of a smile in his voice when he adds, “might as well clean you up, right?”
Synopsis: Falling in love when you live a life full of uncertainties isn’t always the best idea. But you’ve followed Eren this far and loved him for this long. He may be the worlds enemy, but does he really have to be yours too? Inspired by Adele’s song Love In the Dark Bc I love her and the angsty vibes suit Eren so well. Expect a Levi version.
Warning: 18+ content and mentions of blood. If you like angsty smut, this is for you:)
Your question caught Armin off guard. He turns his head to see you as you remained looking up at the starry sky above. A light breeze blew the hair out of your face, revealing watery eyes and furrowed brows.
“You mean Eren?”
You nodded in reply, not daring to look away from the night sky.
“I think he is. He’s strong and determined. His letters haven’t given us any reason to believe he’s not okay, right?”
You scoffed at the thought of the letters Eren had been sending. They were filled with orders and information about Marley, not on his well-being. You missed him. You didn’t want to admit it out loud, but you needed him.
“Yeah. You’re right. He’s fine and we are going to see him soon.”
Armin nodded as he shifted closer, throwing an arm across your shoulders and pulling your head to rest against his.
The day would finally come when you’d see him again.
You stood atop a building adjacent from where the Warhammer Titan stood tall, its hardened material piercing Eren’s Attack Titan through the chest.
You watched from above as Eren pulled free from inside the Titans shell and directed his vision upwards, meeting your hardened gaze.
Your expression remained stoic and calm, as did his. Relief settled in your core as you sat eyes on him for the first time in months, your heart screamed at you to reach out to him. However, something deep within screamed at you to leave. To walk away.
But his eyes….
If only he’d look away so you could.
“Y/N, you have a clear view of the Warhammer?” Jean asked as he landed beside you on the roof.
You shook your arm, feeling the weight of the Thunder Spear that made your muscles burn. Your vision tore away from Eren, your focus now locking in on the Titan standing ahead. You squinted your eyes, lifting an arm to get the nape in your sights.
“I do. But, something isn’t right about this. Look.” You pointed to the ground below the Titan, bring attention to the vein like cords that connected to the foot of the Titan and stretched underground.
Jean nodded before he jumped to stand on the edge of the roof.
“I see. Take your aim anyway. Go.”
You nodded as he zipped away, leaving you to stand on the edge as he did. You readied your spear and jumped off the edge, realizing your ODM gear hooks and soaring towards the Titan.
Lifting your arm, you closed one eye as you looked down the spear, getting the nape directly in your sights before you released it, perfectly sinking it into the nape with great force. You pulled the pin, waiting for some kind of reaction and grit your teeth in annoyance when you realized your intuition was correct.
“Dammit, Jean. Now I’ve wasted a Thunder Spear.”
A burning sensation in your right arm brought your attention away from your frustration. You winced when you moved it and saw a deep, four inch gash oozing blood down your uniform and soaking the black material.
You held your breath as you climbed into the airship after Jean, rolling on your side as you made it inside and releasing the air you held. Your eyes shut for a moment, relishing in the feeling of safety when footsteps stepped by your head. A foot gently nudged your unhurt arm, making you open your eyes in a squint.
“Oi, let me take you to get that looked at.”
You took Floch’s outstretched hand, allowing him to pull you up.
He cheered with the other soldiers as he made a path for you, bringing you to the metal door on the other end of the ship.
Once it was opened, your eyes met his. You froze in place, blood dripping from your fingers to the wooden panels beneath your feet.
“Y/N,” Eren’s words mumbled out through pale, emotionless lips. His eyes traveled from your face to the wound and down to the dripping blood on the floor.
He rose to his feet, face remaining stoic and unbothered.
“Let me help y-”
“No,” you adjusted your posture as you cut him off. “I don’t need your help. Don’t bother. Just sit back down, Eren.”
“But, you’re arm-”
“I don’t need your help. I. Don’t. Need. Your. Help.”
Your assertive tone had the entire rooms attention on you. Everyone stopped their movement and directed their eyes at you. The quiet drips of blood thumping against the wood being the only sound along with the hum of the ship.
You didn’t miss the glint of hurt in his eyes at your words. How could you? It was like looking at a kicked puppy. But, sometimes it’s easier to be cruel rather than show kindness.
“Connie?”
You hadn’t realized the boy had been standing behind you. You were so focused on Eren that you failed to feel the boy’s presence.
You watched as a tear fell down his cheek, fear clouding his eyes as he stared straight ahead.
“It’s Sasha. She’s dead.”
Heat took over your body, making you forget the dizziness in your head from the loss of blood. You heard someone mumbling behind you as Connie answered, but it was just background noise that couldn’t be heard over the ringing in your ears.
One of your best friends was…. dead?
You froze as laughter was heard from behind you. Slowly turning, your eyebrows furrowed as your eyes welled up with tears. Hot, angry tears that boiled over like an overflowing kettle.
“Eren…you’re a monster.”
His laughter died down at your words, eyes meeting yours, once again filled with hurt.
Like you thought, it’s easier to be cruel than to be kind.
Eren had grabbed you from behind, pulling you into an empty room outside the room filled with holding cells where his Jeagerist friends resided.
You stumbled into the desk as he tossed you inside. Wincing at the impact, you grit your teeth as you looked up at him.
“What do you want?”
He leaned against the door in front of you, leaving an infinite amount of space between you both. You felt so far away from him. You wanted to reach out to him. To hold him. Kiss him.
But, you wanted to hate him. Needed to hate him.
“Like I said. I want to talk.”
“Then talk,” you replied, folding your arms across your chest.
Eren leaned his head against the door behind him, looking down at you through hooded eyes.
You took in his appearance.
How dare he look so handsome.
His hair was pulled back into a messy bun, stray hairs perfectly framing his beautiful face. The frown he wore usually had pulled up into a soft smile on one end as he sized you up.
“I missed you.”
You swallowed at his words. The thick lump in your throat caught. You felt sick.
“You did.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. You didn’t believe him. How could you? He was so focused on bringing down the people on the other side of the ocean, so how could you believe he had time to miss you?
“I did. You know I love you. I meant every word I said those years ago.”
You remembered that day. Of course you did. You replayed that memory over and over for the first few months Eren left you behind. But, months turned into a year. You never heard from him. Never saw him. You tried to be strong and brave, but your heart wasn’t in it anymore.
He just left you in the dark. Never mentioned that day or those words again for years. Not until now.
You needed to move on.
“I…can’t…love you, Eren. Not anymore. I know what you plan to do-”
“It’s for the best, Y/N! I’m doing this for you. For Mikasa and Armin. For our future….don’t you want that? A future with all the love and happiness you deserve?”
The sickness settled in your stomach now. Maybe at one time you would have dropped everything and said yes. Deep down, you still wanted to. You didn’t want to live without him, but you needed to.
“Eren,”
“You called me a monster.”
His words cut you off in a hurt tone. He tried to mask them with a bitter smile, but his glossy eyes didn’t hide the disbelief that you would ever say something to him like that.
“I did. I’m sorry.”
“You’re probably right. I am a monster to some people. But I truly am doing all of this for you. I love you. I want you to live a long, happy life. One without-”
“One without you?” The bitterness in your tone cut him off this time. You glared up at him with burning eyes, causing his chest to burn.
“Yes.”
“I should. I should live my life far from you. You’re going to hurt me, and everyone else in your wake of you do what you’re about to do. Your friends, your family, your people…by staying around you, we will only know pain.”
Eren visibly deflated at your words. He knew he was hurting you, but he was hurting too. He needed you much more than you needed him.
“Don’t. Don’t say anymore. No more fighting. Just please let me kiss you. I need to before…before….” His words drifted off. You know what he was going to say. You knew what he needed to say before he carried out his mission.
You reached your hands towards him, cradling his face between your hands.
“Okay.”
You did let him kiss you.
Your lips met his in a perfect kiss like two puzzle pieces. You molded together, holding each other close as if the other would be ripped away at any moment.
And it was true. Either one of you could be ripped away at any moment. Eren was destined for death, whether it be the end of his term, or dying in the hands of a determined soldier. You knew this would be the last time you did this.
His hands found their way to the back of your thighs as he lifted, allowing you to jump slightly as he plopped you on the empty desk behind you.
You spread your thighs, grabbing the collar of his jacket as you pulled him into you, slotting him between your legs as you brushed your nose against his, lips barely grazing each other.
“I can’t tell you I love you.”
Eren swallowed, leaning forward to rest his head against yours.
“I know. It’s okay.”
His words were cut short as you pulled him into another kiss, tears burning in your eyes, threatening to spill over as you moaned into his mouth.
His name left your lips as he lurched forward, grabbing onto your hips as his hips met yours. His hard on poked at your core, begging for more friction. A groan left his lips as he kissed you again, silencing his noises with your mouth.
Your legs twisted around his hips, bringing him impossibly closer as he kissed down your jaw to your exposed neck. Reaching the collar of your white button up, he reached a hand up to undo your buttons.
After undoing the top two, he paused, pulling back slightly to look at you, eyes shifting between each of yours.
“Is this okay?” His question fell on almost deaf ears as you nodded frantically, desperate to feel more of him. Your eyes remained on his puffy lips, silently begging for him to put them on you again.
“Eren, please. I need more.”
He chuckled as he leaned forward, planting a quick kiss to your lips.
His hands worked all your buttons, moving down to your pants as his lips made their way to your chest.
Your back arched as he kissed your breasts, your hands playing with the loose hairs at the nape of his neck.
Quick fingers pulled your pants down, his following soon after along with his shirt. He left your button up on and undone, eyes admiring the old bra you wore. He thought about how cute it was. How cute you were. How unbelievably beautiful the woman he loved had grown to be.
“I love you.”
Those words he whispered to you as he slowly pushed inside you made your heart do flips.
We’re you using him? Did the think you were using him? He loved you, and you refused to say it back.
You didn’t love him, right?
Right?
But every thrust he delivered, every kiss he placed so delicately to your burning skin made you want to cry.
His pace was relentless, sweet praises leaving his lips.
“You’re so beautiful. You feel so good, Y/N. God, I love you.”
“I—”
No.
No, no. You couldn’t say it. You didn’t want to admit it.
You bit your lip, tears pricked your eyes again. Both from the pain and the words Eren spoke. And the words your couldn’t…wouldn’t speak.
His pace quickened as he pushed deeper, causing your legs to tighten around his waist. He placed kisses all over your face, no plan or pattern to his actions. He just needed to kiss every inch of that beautiful face.
“I’m so close.”
He hummed at your words, keeping his pace and reaching a hand down to rub your clit with his thumb, his other four fingers pressing into your stomach to feel himself.
He leaned into you further, lips brushing yours as his other hand gripped your chin, bringing your eyes to his.
“Let go, my love.”
You did as he commanded. Your body melted at the feeling, his body collapsing on top of yours as he reached his high as well.
Once the relentless sounds of moans and slapping skin ceased, the only sounds that filled the room were from you both panting and the creaky floor beneath Eren’s feet.
Your thighs refused to let him go. At least, you blamed it on your thighs.
And whether it be post-high syndrome or the fact that you knew something big was coming, you couldn’t deny your heart and brain that were screaming at you along with your aching core.
“Eren.”
You cradled his face yet again, allowing a single tear to fall from your tired eyes.
“I love you too.”
A smirk tugged at his lips, bringing life back to those sparkling, green, puppy dog eyes.
Thank you all so much for reading! I hope I executed this idea well and I hope you all enjoyed it.
Also holy shit thank you for 990 followers??? That’s like…almost 1000….. I am so so thankful for you all and I love you guys. Thank you for all the support you have shown me. You are all so wonderful❤️
I swear I’m on a roll these past few days, I wanted to draw another fan art based on one of my favorite fanfiction. This lovely piece was based on @self-indulgentwriting’s Ermin x reader fanfic, Facaded. Well, actually it’s more like Eren vs Y/N for Armin. If you do want to check it out I have to warn you beforehand that it’s a very steamy 18+ fic.
Above we see eren sending death glares to y/n while Armin is confuse as to what they are doing.
Even though, I’m happy with the outcome, I’m still kinda disappointed that I wasn’t able to make y/n bald (y’know the signature y/n look). I had to draw the hair cause the side profile was kinda wonky.
Also bonus, I made one with y/n with bump like nose (idk what the name is called). I find noses like this to be hot.
HEY!! to celebrate 1 fucking thousand of you guys following me, I’m doing an event.
I don’t wanna get too sappy or anything, but last year I was going thru a horrible time and I just really wanted to have a community where I could post fanfic and. have a good time, and I got all that and more. It means a lot to me actually, so really, thank you, especially all my moots.
Send me a character from the below options, a setting (also from the below options), and your choice of one sentence starter, and I’ll write you a drabble!
» Anons feel free to enter.
» “Drabble” is more of a suggestion, and if it becomes longer than that… so be it.
» I promise every request will be done, but I can’t promise they will be posted in time for the event to end.
» I will not take multiples of the same setting+starter because of repetitiveness, but enter as many times as your heart desires.
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SIDE NOTE: I will also write kitty, dadvi, or mer Levi… any Levi really. Feel free to add that in your request if you want.
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All links go to a tumblr post (and they are all my preferences, if you couldn’t tell haha).
