#kh xehanort

Xehanort: I regret making you

Vanitas: Then get rid of me, pussy

Xehanort, telling Riku to give into the darkness: aren’t you tired of being nice?

Xehanort: don’t you want to go ape shitt?

“He doesn’t sweat because his pores are clogged from the spraytan that he uses.”

Riku, about Young Master Xehanort

Sora, to Xehanort: You’re really heckin’ me off. Puttin’ me on my last uwu

Kingdom Hearts Outfit Game!!

After days I’m finally done YAY!!

For anyone who isn’t familiar with the game let me explain: based on your favourite X things you’ll have to select the corresponding item to create your own personal look!

In this case it will be the following:

Fave Chara = Top, Fave Game = Bottom, Fave Trio/Group = Shoes, Fave Original World = Accessory, Fave Disney World = Keyblade

You can create multiple outfits based on all combos of your favourite things!! Or even just put together the outfit you like best and see what it ties to!

You can reblog this post with the pictures of your outfits or simply put the combinations in the tags, or maybe create a whole other post for it (in which case I’d like to be tagged!) But however you’d like to play, I hope you’ll like this game and have fun! I cannot wait to see everyone’s results. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

(below the pictures you’ll find a list of all the things in them, starting from left to right, to pto bottom!)

ENJOY!!

TOPS

First Pic. Second Pic. Third Pic.

• Sora ◾Vanitas ◾Ansem T.W.
• Riku ◾Repliku ◾Ansem SoD
• Kairi ◾Naminé ◾Xemnas
• Roxas ◾Hayner ◾Xigbar
• Axel ◾Pence ◾Xaldin
• Xion ◾Olette ◾Vexen
• Ventus ◾Larxene ◾Lexaeus
• Terra ◾Marluxia ◾Zexion
• Aqua ◾Strelitzia ◾Saïx
• ◾Demyx
• ◾Luxord
• ◾Yozora

Fourth Pic. Fifth Pic.

• Y. Xehanort ◾MoM
• Y. Eraqus ◾Ira
• Urd ◾Invi
• Vor ◾ Aced
• Hermod ◾Gula
• Bragi ◾ Ava
• Baldr ◾Ephemer
• ◾Skuld
• ◾Brain

BOTTOMS. SHOES.

Sixth Pic. Seventh Pic.

• KH 1 ◾ Destiny Trio
• KH CoM ◾Sea Salt Trio
• KH 358/2 ◾Wayfinder Trio
• KH2 ◾Trinity Trio
• KH Re: Coded ◾Lost Trio
• KH BBS ◾Twilight Trio
• KH 3D ◾Union Trio
• KH 0.2 ◾Radiant Trio
• KHUX ◾OrganisationXIII
• KH 3 ◾Foretellers
• KH MoM ◾Scala Gang
• KHDR ◾Dandelions

ACCESORIES 1. ACCESSORIES 2.

Eight Pic. Ninth Pic.

• Destiny Islands ◾Scala ad Caelum
• Radiant Garden ◾Dice to the Heart
• Hollow Bastion ◾Mysterious Tower
• Traverse Town ◾End of Sea
• Twilight Town ◾Keyblade Graveyard
• Land of Departure ◾End of the World
• Castle Oblivion ◾TWTNW
• Daybreak Town ◾Quadratum
• The Final World

KEYBLADES

Tenth Pic.

• Disney Town
• Country of the Musketeers
• Symphony of Sorcery (Fantasia)
• Timeless River (Classic Disney)
• Wonderland (Alice in Wonderland)
• Deep Jungle (Tarzan)
• Olympus (Hercules)
• Agrabah (Aladdin)
• Monstro (Pinocchio)
• Prankster’s Paradise (Pinocchio)
• Neverland (Peter Pan)
• Atlantica (The Little Mermaid)
• Halloween Town (Nightmare bf Christmas)
• Beast’s Castle (Beauty and the Beast)
• Land of Dragons (Mulan)
• Port Royal (Pirates of the Carribbean)
• The Pride Lands (The Lion King)
• Castle of Dreams (Cinderella)
• Enchanted Dominion (Sleeping Beauty)
• Dwarf Woodlands (Snow White)
• Deep Space (Lilo & Stitch)
• The Grid (Tron)
• Monstropolis (Monsters Inc)
• La Cité des Cloches (Hunchback)
• San Fransokyo (Big Hero 6)
• Toy Box (Toy Story)
• Arendelle (Frozen)
• Kingdom of Corona (Tangled)
• 100 Acre Wood (Winnie the Pooh)
• Game Central Station (Wreck it Ralph)

If you can, please reblog so more people will be able to play

Of course we’re not done yet :3

Music Inspiration: Would It Matter - Skillet

~~~~~

           Hiccups mar the soft snores that should be peaceful in this stagnant room. While the distressed sleeps, the other holds him in hopes of warding off the sorrows of the day. Silver eyes bore into the darkness, kept open by the incessant thoughts that dragged his partner down.

           It’s been a year—one full year to the day since the tragedy that tore apart their family. Subsequently, the survivors are suffering for it. Their master had been gracious enough to apply leniency, neglecting to scorn faltering attention and waiving homework for the day. It’s not that the boys didn’t try to soldier on, but that they couldn’t.

           For Xehanort, the worst of it was watching his boyfriend push on despite the tears that forced their way past his resolve. It was more than once that he caught Eraqus huddled over, trying with all his might to contain the despair. Xehanort, too, had his moments where the mourning became too much to control. Still, he forced himself to stay together. He had to—for Eraqus.

           The boy with black hair stirs, prompting Xehanort’s doting. Thankfully, the old trick of ghosting fingers across his skin still works to settle Eraqus. This is all Xehanort’s been able to do for his partner: just stand by and be supportive.

           As if that really meant anything.

           Frustrated and exhausted, the boy finally admits he’s got too much on his mind to pass out right this moment. Careful, cautious movements separate him from Eraqus, a pillow taking his place. A moment is taken to ensure his boyfriend continues doing sleeping before Xehanort leaves to make a bathroom trip.

           When the door closes behind him, reminders of this anniversary bear down on him. This hall, built for a full class of students, contains only barren rooms emptied moons ago. What was once full of life is now nothing but a haunting reminder of what should’ve been.

           Before the pain can bring him down, Xehanort crosses the hall, flipping on the light in one of the bathrooms. A sigh exits his lungs, matching the unkempt hair and rings beneath his eyes. No, today was not kind to him; Eraqus looked no better.

           He feels like he’s been running from monsters all day, so the young man leans over the sink to splash water against his face. While it fails to soothe his restlessness, he hears a clink against the porcelain surface.

           Eyes fall onto the jewelry hanging from his neck. 

           Xehanort had asked all he could about the one Eraqus—or rather, Brain—was in love with in the past. Each one was quite often met with delighted talk of his old partner’s bravery and all the things that he loved. At first, Xehanort enjoyed hearing these tales of ancient times and a younger man, but as it went on, it became painfully obvious that Eraqus still has strong feelings about his past.

           Eraqus never compared the two, but that didn’t stop the doubt that Xehanort began accumulating. This was someone so amazing and selfless that Eraqus implied they’re the reason keyblade wielders still exist. Full grown behemoths were no match for the hero and even the old Foretellers bickered over honor of having the warrior in their union. This nameless person devoted their life to the light, inspiring Brain to strive for the same goal.

           How could Xehanort ever compare to that? He’s just some island reject who can’t even stop his boyfriend’s tears; in fact, he caused them, no matter what Eraqus says. Sure, he’s a fair keyblade wielder, but he’s a long way off from being any sort of hero. And it’s those differences that plague him. It eats at his brain like acid and he’s developed an obsession with it.

           The ring—not rightfully his—sits in his palm, instigating his doubt.

           What would you do?

           Palm against the frame, he surveys the useless man before him.

           Could you help him through this? Could you have saved them?

           Weary eyes close, knowing there will be no answer. Another wave of grief washes over him, tears dripping down the drain.

           “Dammit.”

           Futile fists press into his eyes, trying to stop the breakdown in progress. But when his hands drop, Xehanort finds himself face to face with pure darkness.

           His heart drops and the young man staggers back a step, finding three more surrounding him. Pure malevolence threatens to suffocate him as it radiates off them. He knows what he’s supposed to do—get the keyblade and fight back—but his body merely seizes. It doesn’t help when he realizes they’re growing, stretching high above to loom over their victim.

           Then the shadows crash down on him. Xehanort cowers, waiting for the attack, but nothing happens. When he dares to look again, Xehanort finds only the empty bathroom, the silence broken only by his booming heart.

           Eyes dart around, searching for the shadows while his mind tries to get a grip. He’s alone—or so he thinks. Again, his heart wretches, for he sees not himself standing in the mirror, but someone else. It’s not even someone he recognizes, but an entire stranger, looking back at him with the same horrified expression. However, with a single blink, they’re gone. Once again, his reflection, and his alone, is his only company.

           Everything is still in the next few moments as Xehanort awaits some new shock to ambush him. When nothing happens, Xehanort determines he must be hallucinating. There’s no other explanation for it. He pushes quaking hands through his hair before trying to jolt himself awake with another splash of cold water. And when it all drains away, he waits, but there’s still only him.

           Am I finally going crazy?

           “Xehanort?!”

           His name drags the young man back to reality—where his boyfriend is calling to him in fear. Xehanort bursts through the bathroom door. From down the hall, Eraqus’s head snaps back, panicked eyes finding his boyfriend. He rushes closer, not stopping until he collides with Xehanort and crushes him in an embrace.

           “What? What happened?” Xehanort asks, hastily pushing his partner’s hair out of the way. Between their chests, he can feel Era’s heart racing. “What’s wrong?”

           His voice cracks beneath the words. “I-I had a nightmare about…” About them. “But I woke up and…” He’s struggling to quell his adrenaline, but Xehanort gets the idea all the same.

           His arms tighten at the trembling. “It’s okay. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.” His nose presses into those ebony locks. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

           A sigh releases the tension created by fear. The taller boy convinces his beloved to return to his room and lay down. Eraqus would comply, but it takes ensuring Xehanort’s company to do so.

           As he rests his head on the pillow, Eraqus asks, “You okay?”

           “Yeah. I just needed a drink,” Xehanort says, settling in as well. “Now try to get some sleep. We’ve got class in the morning.”

           Eraqus curls in against Xehanort, drawing lazy circles against his back. “What if we don’t go to class tomorrow?” His tone lacks the usual mischief, instead being soberly genuine.

           “That’s irresponsible, Eraqus.”

           “But I don’t wanna.”

           “I know.”

           There’s surprisingly little argument from Eraqus; instead, it takes him little time to resume his slumber. Considering the breakdown he’d had earlier that day, it’s well warranted. However, Xehanort remains awake. Instead, his thoughts drift back to the faceless hero.

           What would you do?

           And that question never stops haunting him. Over and over, in his every action, he compares his life against the fantasy he’d never known. It drives him, pushes him to strive for his goals—to create a better life for Eraqus—no matter the cost. That’s what they would have done, surely. It’s what they did do. He knows it.

Lol, writing out that title was so fucking funny to me. 

~~~~~

           That booming thud jars the young man awake. Fueled with startled adrenaline, he spouts the first thing that comes to mind.

           “D!”

           Every eye in the room stares at the young man, some with annoyance and some amusement. Master Odin, on the other hand, is as stoic as ever.

           “That’s right. D is the correct answer, Eraqus. However, I understand, based on your exam scores that you originally guessed B. So can you explain to the rest of us why D is the actual answer?”

           “Uh…” His gaze frantically searches his barely-passed exam paper, trying to find out what question they’re on. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Xehanort, drumming his fingers against the table—four of them.

           Question four.

           “Um, D is correct because a keyblade user’s ability is augmented by the keyblade, so using specific charms to boost specific skills is vital against certain enemies. In this case, using the magic boost from Lady Luck would be more effective against enemies with elemental weaknesses than the other charms that are strength based.”

           All the attitudes from earlier have become awe—even Master Odin is surprised by his answer. The only one not impressed by Era’s answer is Xehanort, who smacks a hand against his face.

           “While that concept is indeed correct, that answer applies to question four, which you also got wrong. We are on question eight.”

           His eyes drop to his paper. “Eight?!”

           The class laughs at his mistake, which isn’t a new experience for him. Even the master is a bit lighter towards Eraqus as he says, “Perhaps if you spent less time napping, you would be able to pay attention to the rest of the class.”

           “Aw, but Fleetfoot needs his beauty sleep,” snickers Bragi.

           “Eraqus is pretty enough without sleeping through my class.” The class erupts at the master’s response. Even Eraqus cracks a smile as his ears burn.

           Things have been going better for Eraqus since he spilled his darkest secret to Xehanort. That goofy demeanor he used to fake is much more realistic and the nightmares aren’t quite as frequent. He still feels the guilt—he’ll never be able to forgive himself of everything—but he knows there no use dwelling on it and that he has to start repenting now. He’s far happier because he’s no longer alone.

           That doesn’t stop Eraqus bickering with his new boyfriend.

           “Why the hell did you tell me we were on question four?!” Eraqus complains after class as the group heads towards the dorms.

           “I didn’t. I tapped four fingers twice,” Xehanort nags back. “What was I supposed to do? Tap eight fingers.” The young man mimics the ridiculousness of tapping eight fingers at once. “Did you want us both to get caught?”

           Bragi and Vor snicker at the lover’s quarrel. Then the little blond says, “But that sure was a smart answer you gave the Master.”

           “Smartest thing I think Tardy Fleetfoot has ever said in his life,” agrees Bragi.

           A corner of Xehanort’s mouth quirks. “If you keep that up, somebody might start to think you know more than you let on.”

           Bragi throws his arms behind his head. “I dunno. Not sure I’ll ever forget that time he tried to convince us he could use the flare spell.” Xe’s silver eyes dart to Era who grins. “But dude can barely pass his classes.”

           “Not that you’re one to talk, Mr. D’s-Get-Degrees,” Vor mocks.

           The red-head retorts, “Hey, I’m pulling C’s at the moment.”

           “At the moment.”

           “Ah, what do you know.”

           Their argument devolves to raspberries until Vor falls back to walk beside Eraqus. “Hey.”

           “Mm?”

           “I’m really glad you’re feeling better.”

           The young man smiles. “Me too.”

           There’s a pause. Then she asks, “Was it Xe?”

           That grin turns cheesy. “Maybe.”

           Vor’s not nearly as childish as she looks, however, she does gasp as she covers her mouth with her oversized sleeves. “Did you kiss?” He can’t help that he’s still smiling even as the blood rushes to his face. Vor whispers her screams, “Are you dating now?!”

           It doesn’t matter if Eraqus answers or not; this girl already has it in her head what it is and she bolts past Bragi towards the others. Watching her frenzy, Bragi lifts a fist towards Xehanort. Xe shakes his head but takes the fist bump before Bragi ambles ahead to watch Vor’s show.

           “You realize they’re going to be all over us for the next week, right?”

           “Meh, pretty sure they all knew it was gonna happen anyway.”

           “You think so?”

           “You’re observant: you think I only just started loving you?” Eraqus winks.

           It’s not very often that Xehanort is abashed. “Look, things have been kinda crazy lately.”

           “I won’t deny that.” Era playfully bumps into his boyfriend. “But thanks for sticking it out anyway.”

           Xehanort is so cute when he’s embarrassed. “Yeah yeah.”

           Eraqus notices Xe fidget, as he has been lately, by playing with the ring hanging from his neck. Despite it being some form of comfort, Eraqus knows that the ring’s mysteries bother Xehanort; he got cracked ribs for it after all. But of all Era’s secrets, that’s probably the one that hurts the most. Even though he’s been asked multiple times, Eraqus hasn’t divulged the truth behind the jewelry.

           Eraqus reaches out, taking Xe’s worrying hand to displace the ring. The two eye each other before Xehanort does a one-eighty and drags Eraqus in the other direction.

           “Ah, hey! Where are we going?”

           “The training grounds.”

           “What? But class already ended today. I don’t wanna train anymore.”

           His determination aimed straight ahead, Xe growls, “Quit complaining.”

           As promised, the boy in black doesn’t stop until they reach the training grounds, where he pulls Eraqus around to face him.

           “Fight me,” he says, filled with determination.

           “What? Why?”

           A fist squeezes at the jewelry on the chain. “If I win, you tell me what the ring is.”

           He gets it now. “Oh yeah? And what if I win?”

           “If you win…I’ll do your next ten assignments.” Eraqus bursts out laughing and Xe snaps, “What?!”

           “You want me to bet one of my biggest secrets against ten assignments?”

           “Okay, fine. What doyou do want?”

           “Nothing. I’m not betting my secret.”

           Xehanort stews. “I’ll do whatever you want—bet whatever you want.”

           The desperation coming from Xe is shocking. Yes, Eraqus expected Xehanort to ask about it again and again but he didn’t realize it bothered his boyfriend this much. It’s almost painful how much Xehanort wants to know the only thing Eraqus wants to keep to himself. He doesn’t understand why, but it’s clear that Xehanort needs this.

           The ivory haori slips from his shoulders. “Fine, but on top of whatever I ask, you can’t ask me about this ever again.” Xehanort nods in agreement and Eraqus brightens. “Good. Now lighten up.”

           “Lighten up? I could be betting my life on this.” Despite his words, Xehanort does relax somewhat.

           “You think I’d take your life for this?”

           “No, but I’m willing to bet it.”

           “Geeze. You’re crazy.”

           His opponent cracks a laugh, taking his place on the field. “Says the guy who tried to aero himself out a third story window.”

           Era stands at the opposite side. “That aside, I’m not taking your life. But I’m not gonna make this easy.”

           Throwing his arm back, Eraqus draws a keyblade he hasn’t used in fifteen years: the Master’s Defender. The look of surprise written on Xe’s face is so satisfying.

           “I’m about to wreck that winning streak of yours.”

           Shaking his shock, Xehanort grins and summons his keyblade. “Nah. I love you, but you’re gonna stay in second place.”

           There’s a pregnant pause. Then it happens: boots grind against the dirt a split second before the boys fly at each other. Keyblades collide with a screech, sparking with force. There’s a brief struggle, but the stronger Eraqus pushes Xehanort back. Not willing to back down so easily, Xehanort pushes off the back foot and retaliates.

           Concerning their competitions, Eraqus only put in as much effort as he felt—often not much, even if he pretended otherwise. This time, however, is different and Xehanort is finding that out very quickly. He may not be up to par with his old master self, but Eraqus is giving it his all, putting Xe on defense more than he’s used to.

           Xehanort, to his credit, manages to fend off Eraqus and get in his own attacks now and then. Though he’s struggling, he refuses to admit it.

           The boy in black taunts a foe that perhaps he shouldn’t. “C’mon old man. Surely you’d know a good spell or two that would knock me on my ass.” His attack is easily blocked.

           Eraqus swings back, catching only air. “Of course I do. Problem is, this body’s still young. Let me put you in the body of a toddler and see if you can keep up.”

           “Sounds like a bunch of whining to me.”

           Weapons cross again. Xehanort holds for a moment, until the point of the keyblade in his face glows purple. His resistance is short lived as the violet field brings Xehanort to his knees. Standing over him, Eraqus grins.

           “You think so?” Seeing this strong young man bowed before him does feed Eraqus’s ego a bit.

           “Gravity spells, huh?” Xe’s voice shakes as his body fights against the magic.

           “Oh yeah. I’ve got a lifetime’s worth of combat knowledge. Your saving grace is this body’s limitations.”

           “Well then—” The heavy gravity fades and Xehanort stands. “—I’d better take advantage of that.”

           Their back and forth continues, Xehanort always at a disadvantage. He did almost catch Eraqus with a raid attack; Era was prepared for the keyblade, but didn’t realize Xehanort knew how to apply magic to the technique and ended up encased in ice. Unfortunately for Xehanort, it wasn’t strong enough to contain Eraqus and resulted in a surprise comeback for the captive.

           Then Xehanort makes a mistake. Eraqus watches him set up for an attack Xe hasn’t used yet but that Era recognizes. Zantetsuken is a last resort kind of move—very powerful while using the last of the user’s energy. Just as the glow envelops the attacker and he moves to attack, Eraqus enforces his own last resort. Xehanort is stuck in time. The next part of the attack teleports Eraqus behind his victim where he strikes in a flurry. Due to his limited ability, the combo cannot be completed and Eraqus backs away. However, by the time Xehanort is free, he feels the damage.

           A knee trembles; Xehanort is struggling to stay standing. Eraqus loosens up because he knows. Only a second later, the silver-haired boy goes down.

           “Dammit,” he growls on his back.

           Eraqus flops down beside him, equally exhausted. “Get used to this feeling, kid.”

           “Oh shut up.” He’s disappointed but Xe made a deal. “So what do you want?”

           The joy of victory slips away. Xehanort’s dying to know that ring means, which is understandable; it would probably bother Eraqus too.

           But what is it Eraqus really wants?

           He takes a deep breath. “That’s an engagement ring. The last time I saw it, I gave it to my significant other with the promise I’d return and propose with it. But I never saw either of them again.” His breath wavers and the sky blurs, but he manages to keep a grip on his emotions. “I don’t know how or why you have it, but I’d like to think that it’s a sign.”

           Xe’s voice is soft. “A sign?”

           “I know it’s weird,” he laughs. “But maybe it means I was supposed to meet you; that you were sent to save me.”

           “What does this have to do with the deal?”

           “One day, I want that ring back. And I’m gonna use it to ask you to marry me.”

           Xehanort sits up. “What?!”

           Eraqus grins. “Can’t back out now.” Gods, a flustered Xe must be the most beautiful thing in all the worlds. “But until then, hold onto it for me, okay?”

           The young man hesitates for a moment. Then, his hand fidgets with the ring and he lies back down.

           “Okay.”

           A warm feeling blossoms in Eraqus’s chest at the feel of Xehanort’s fingers between his.

           He’s made many mistakes, he thought he’d spend the rest of his existence suffering alone, but for the first time in a long time, there’s light in his life—granted to him by his last light. And he can’t help thinking that, with Xehanort at his side, things might go right this time around.

This is the chapter that started the whole thing.

Music inspiration: Second Guessing by Get Scared

P.S. Sorry not sorry for the borken title

~~~~~

           It’s unclear how much time has passed since Eraqus collapsed in his room. It could be hours, days, or maybe even a week. He’s finally begun pulling out his trauma, returning to the tragedy of reality. And in this reality, he assaulted the person he cares about most.

           Fuck.

           Xehanort did nothing and, yet, Eraqus attacked him. In fact, Xehanort has done nothing but worry for him these last few months. Even as Eraqus lied to his face, his best friend probably saw right through it all.

           And gods, the lies. Since the war, all he’s been able to do is lie: lie to his family, lie to his friends, lie to Xehanort—lie to himself. No, lying to Xehanort is definitely worse. It feels like the most important people to him are always the ones who hurt the most and that’s his fault.

           Eyes burning, head throbbing, Eraqus peels his face off the floor. Darkness fills the room as a sign of night. He stumbles across the room to find the light that stabs at his eyes before revealing the disaster zone that is now his room. He’s going to regret that later.

           It takes him a moment to gather his nerves to look at the jewelry in his hand. His heart shudders. He never thought he’d see this ring again which is probably why it struck him so hard. Granted, he probably wouldn’t have been any calmer if he were expecting it either.

           But as it stands, the ring doesn’t belong to Eraqus.

           The chain slips from his palm. Right, it’s broken. Digging through the mess, Eraqus finds a silver chain his mother once gave him and strings the ring on it.

           It takes all his courage to convince Eraqus to leave his room. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do after he returns the ring, but it feels like, once he gives it up, he gives up even his will to live. It’s not his anymore though and he has to apologize.

           Arm shaking, Eraqus knocks against the door. He’s surprised when he hears “Door’s open.” It takes a second to build the nerve to walk in.

           Xehanort looks back to greet his guest, his eyes narrowing at the sight of Eraqus. However, Eraqus is a bit more preoccupied with his friend’s bare chest, deep purple bruises blossoming across the skin. He did that.

           Eraqus keeps his head down as he approaches. When he stands before his friend though, he takes a deep breath and straightens up to meet that gaze. Silver eyes stare back at him, scrutinizing. It’s strange; Eraqus expected him to be furious, even yelling at him to leave, but he doesn’t. He just looks Eraqus in the eye.

           And then decks him.

           Blood rushes into the throbbing cheek and Eraqus’s headache pounds harder. His free fist puts pressure against his face, but he doesn’t complain. He deserved that. Instead, he faces Xehanort a second time, opening his hand to offer the jewelry he’d stolen before.

           Xehanort accepts the gesture, pulling the chain over his head. As his friend studies the ring, Eraqus can feel his heart breaking all over again.

           “I’ve had this for as long as I can remember,” Xehanort mutters. “I don’t know anything about it, but I know it’s important to me.” He looks to Eraqus. “What does it mean to you?”

           Eraqus could tell the truth—it’s not as if he hasn’t considered that before. However, even he doesn’t know what the truth would do. In the first place, it could ruin his mission and that would very easily destroy him. Even more than that, it could destroy his relationship with Xehanort. Xe might never be able to see him the same again. And that would be devastating; Eraqus is terrified.

           “I can’t tell you.”

           “Eraqus.” His name is riddled with disappointment. “What’s going on with you?”

           “I’m…I’m fine.” A crack infiltrates his voice.

           Xehanort is not so easily fooled. “No, you’re not.”

           Despite his desperate wishes to do so, the young man can’t avoid this conversation much longer. “No, I’m not.”

           His heart wavers when arms pull him in tightly.

           “I love you. Please. I can’t stand it anymore. Tell me what’s wrong.”

           He’s crumbling inside. Even so, terrified, he asks, “What did you say?”

           Xehanort lays his head on Eraqus’s shoulder. “I said I love you, Eraqus.”

           That’s what he was afraid of. Though his hands clench against Xehanort’s back, Eraqus shakes his head. “Would you still love me if I wasn’t Eraqus?”

           “What are you—“ Xehanort tries to lean away, but Eraqus holds him closer.

           He can barely get his voice past the lump in his throat. “If I wasn’t really Eraqus, would you still love me?”

           His tensions and worries finally seem to be reaching Xehanort. “I don’t understand. How can you not be Eraqus?”

           Gods, He’s gone too far. He should’ve just kept his mouth shut. Now he’s spiraling. Surely, Xehanort couldn’t love him; even if he does, none of this was fair to Xehanort who really didn’t know anything. But now he’s here, standing on the edge of neurosis, regretting everything he’s ever done more than ever.

           “I—” His heart rebels, choking down his answer.

           A hand snakes into His hair. Xehanort pulls away enough to press their foreheads together, looking at him with eyes full of that love spoken of.

           “You can tell me.” The breath in His chest quivers, but Xehanort insists. “What do you mean you’re not Eraqus?”

           He can’t take it anymore.

           A firm shove separates the boys.

           “I MEAN I’M NOT ERAQUS! THIS ISN’T MY BODY! I’M NOT A FIFTEEN-YEAR-OLD KID!”

           Xehanort’s jaw drops.

           “I’VE FOUGHT MORE MONSTERS THAN YOU’VE EVER SEEN AND HAVE BEEN TO WORLDS YOU COULDN’T EVEN DREAM OF! KEYBLADE HISTORY IS MY BEST SUBJECT NOT BECAUSE IT’S MY FAVORITE, BUT BECAUSE I FUCKIN’ LIVED IT! I COULD EVEN TELL YOU WHAT COLOR THE SKY WAS WHEN THE WAR BROKE OUT! SO WHEN I TELL YOU I’M NOT ERAQUS, I MEAN I WASN’T BORN ERAQUS!”

           Tears flow freely down His face and his chest heaves from despair.  

           Rightfully afraid, Xehanort asks, “If that’s not your body…then what is it?”

           He swallows some of his sorrow. “It was my grandson’s.”

           Understanding dawns on Xehanort and his body bristles in horror. “You’re Grandmaster Brain?” Silence is answer enough. “But…how? How long have you been pretending to be Eraqus?”

           Fists press against teary eyes, flashes of his demise haunting him. “Eraqus was born the day I died…But I still had things left undone. So I took his body.”

           “Just like that?”

           “Just like that.” Another sob wracks his body, bringing him to his knees. “His new heart couldn’t even fend me off. I don’t even know where it went.”

           Xehanort stares at the floor. “So you…you murdered your own newborn grandson and have been pretending to be him for fifteen years? Does anyone know? Does Master Arlo know?” Brain shakes his head. Xehanort shoves his hands into his hair. “Holy shit. Why? What could be so important for you to do this to your own family?”

           Brain remembers the darkness that tried to destroy him and the Dandelions—that took away…

           “I-I…” His body quivers.

           Cautiously, Xehanort kneels down and pulls at his chain. “Does it have to do with this?”

           The thief nods. “I can’t let it win. It’ll destroy everything and other people will suffer like I did.” A sleeve drags across his eyes. He’s going to ruin everything important to him. “But that doesn’t condone what I’ve done. I’m a horrible person and I regret almost every choice I’ve ever made. I don’t deserve your worry or effort, Xehanort. I don’t deserve you. For your own good, just stay away from me.”

           Xehanort glances away. Staring at the young man, Brain sees his lost love again. They’re beautiful, smart, strong, loyal; both of them are everything he ever needed. He’s head over heels in love again, yet he’s making all the same mistakes—lies, omittance, gas lighting, all of it. The disappointment his past partner would have for Brain must be immeasurable. He could try for a thousand years and never repent for his follies.

           Without warning, Xehanort shoves Brain down onto the floor. Before a protest can be made, he jams their mouths together. Fists attempt to part the boys, but Xe’s fingers in Brain’s hair prevents that. Brain doesn’t have the emotional fortitude to resist and Xehanort’s kiss rains hope, resolve, and love on Brain, overwhelming him to the point of tears. This isn’t right; he shouldn’t let this continue; but as always, Brain is selfish and afraid.

           Breaking the kiss, Xehanort stares at Brain with welling eyes. “What you did is unforgiveable; Eraqus deserved to live. We deserved to know him.” Brain shudders, feeling Xehanort’s tears on his face. “But we can’t change the past; so you can’t ever forget what you did. You owe it to him to make sure this never happens again. You finish what you started.”

           “What if I can’t?”

           For the first time in days, Xehanort cracks a smile. “Then I’ll just have to kick your ass.”

           “Xehanort—”

           “No!” Fists around Brain’s haori, Xe pulls him off the ground and slams him down again. “I’m not gonna let you sink any lower. I don’t care what you think of yourself or what time you came from; I love you. And I’m gonna be right there with you to make sure you spend the rest of your life trying to make up for this. You got it?”

           “Xe—”

           Again, Xehanort shakes him. “You got it?!”

           There’s it is again: hope, resolve…love. In spite of the darkness Brain has steeped in, there’s a hand reaching to pull him out. Someone still has hope for him and the resolve to makes sure he sees it through; this is love. He never thought he’d feel like this again, able to be with someone without restraint—loving with all he is and being loved back. It breaks him.

           Brain thought he was all out of tears, but he was wrong. Xehanort, meanwhile, lets him drown his reprieve, dabbing at tears and pressing the occasional kiss to his face. It takes some time, but the tsunami of emotion inevitably quells, leaving both boys in an exhausted repose.

           Unsteady fingers trace across the purple hues. “I really got you, didn’t I,” Brain murmurs.

           “Well, you cracked a rib, so yeah.”

           “I cracked a rib?!”

           Xehanort sits up. “Vor and Urd healed a lot of it. Then they all dragged me off to the infirmary after. It’s still sore but this is pretty much the worst of it.”

           Now sitting up himself, Brain sighs. “I’m sorry.”

           “I’ve had worse.” Brain still finds it hard to so easily accept the gentle hand against his face, but Xehanort smiles. “And if you still feel that bad, you can take me to the pier for ice cream this weekend.”

           It’s minute, but Brain feels a pull at the corners of his mouth. “Pretty sure I owe you more than that.”

           “If you say so. I don’t mind taking your munny.”

           Finally, Brain laughs. It’s the sight of Xehanort, absent of worry, that really makes him happy though.

           “Xe?”

           “Yeah?”

           “I’m so tired.”

           A gentle hand pushes the hair from his face. “Of course you are. Do you want me to carry you to your room?” Though his offer is clearly sarcastic, there’s still a genuine offer there.

           Brain sighs. “No. My room…is a wreck right now.”

           His stomach twists when Xe pulls him off the floor bridal style. Another kiss meets his cheek. “Then you can stay here tonight.”

           “Huh?!”

           Xehanort tosses Brain onto the bed and flicks the light off. When Brain gets his bearings back, he realizes Xehanort is climbing into bed with him. He’s too stunned to resist being pulled in. It’s suddenly excessively hot when he realizes the side of his face is pressed against Xehanort’s bare chest.

           But all that panic melts when he hears the steady rhythm against his ear. The last dregs of reluctance give in to Xehanort, finally accepting everything. His arms sneak around the taller boy’s waist and he settles in—at peace.

           “Xe?”

           The cranky boy answers, “Now what?”

           “I love you too.”

I thought this one would be difficult, but when I really sat down to work on it, it got pretty good.

~~~~~

           “Morning Era.”

           Sleepy boy lifts his head, finding Vor. The little blonde pulls an object from her bag to place in front of him.

           “I saw you missed breakfast, so I got you an extra muffin.”

           Hermod places a carton beside the napkin wrapped pastry. “She forgot your milk though.”

           Eraqus stares for a moment before he smiles and reaches for the food. “Aw, thanks guys.”

           Bragi plops in his seat. “Holy hell, man. You look like death.”

           Shoulders droop, but Eraqus smiles. Of course his friends would have noticed by now; despite his best efforts, his mood and mental state have only gotten worse.

           At least Vor’s on his side. “Bragi!”

           Smack!

           “Ow! What did I do?!” The red-head glowers when Eraqus snickers.

           “Be nice!”

           “All I did was make a comment!”

           “A mean comment.”

           Grumbling, Smarmy Fluffcoat folds his arms, sits back, and sulks.

           As Eraqus picks at his offering, in comes Xehanort. Honestly, things are still as clear as mud when it comes to their relationship. Era’s still stupidly in love with his best friend, but knows better than to act on it. Nevertheless, his world would probably fall apart it if weren’t for Xehanort. Yes, his friends are around and he’s grateful for them, but it’s not the same kind of salvation. Even so, he knows it’s his actions driving a wedge between them.

           “Morning Xe!” Vor’s always chipper in the morning. Era’s never been able to get behind that, but he’s not going to be the one to discourage it. A few others hum their greetings.

           “Morning,” he replies, playing with a chain around his neck. He looks to Eraqus and waves. Mouth full of food, Era waves back. “You finish the homework from yesterday?”

           “Do I ever finish the homework from yesterday?” he asks past the muffin.

           “Ugh, Eraqus.”

           “Oh relax.” Eraqus places a book on the table that falls open to a loose page. “Not like I could sleep last night anyway.”

           Brow raised, Xehanort takes the assignment and looks it over. “I’d say you were delusional last night, but putting down a number as the answer to a short essay is on par for you.”

           The paper is snatched back. “I what?! Shit!”

           Eraqus scrambles to correct his assignment and finish breakfast in the short break before class starts.

~~~~~

           Class ends, the master dismisses his students, and the kids start packing up.

           “What’s everyone’s plans today?” Baldr asks, shoving a book into his bag.

           “Studying,” Hermod sighs.

           “Studying,” says Urd.

           Vor chimes, “Studying.”

           Bragi waves a pair of finger guns. “Slacking.”

           And Eraqus puts in his two munny. “Slacking.”

           Xehanort shakes his head. “You guys are absolutely wild. What are you planning, Baldr?”

           The white-haired boy grins. “I was thinking that it’s been a while since we got in the water.”

           Vor giggles. “You want to go swimming?”

           “Yeah. When’s the last time we played Blitzball?”

           “Not since Xe smoked Urd by double points.” Bragi is blissfully unaware of the glare he’s receiving.

           Hermod lets out a sigh. “Yet another thing Xehanort’s naturally good at.”

           “What? I’m an islander.” Xehanort shrugs. “I was actually surprised you guys have Blitzball too. At least your goals aren’t made of logs and rope. I broke way too many of those.”

           “With how you play, it’s no wonder,” Vor says. “What’s that thing he used to say? Before Hermod beat him?”

           Exasperated, Xe puts a hand to his face.

           “’The only one who can beat me is me’,” Bragi says in a poor brooding imitation of the boy in black before breaking out in a cackle.

           The whole class bursts into laughter except the embarrassed boy.

           “Yeah, we get it: I had a big ego.”

           “Had?” Urd asks.

           Xehanort turns to her. “You know what? Let’s go.”

           “Fine.” She grins maliciously. “But when I win you dye that pretty hair of yours blue.”

           “You could pick a more insulting color, but fine,” he retorts. “When I win, you dye yours pink.”

           “You’re on.”

           The red-head nudges his seat neighbor. “This outta be good, eh Fleetfoot?”

           Era chuckles. “Urd’s gonna regret that bet.”

           “So I guess everyone’s in?” Baldr asks.

           The kids all stand in agreement, excitement brewing, and the usual talk flows among them. This is normal.

           Until someone takes notice of Xehanort.

           “Hey, what’s that?”

           At Vor’s question, all eyes turn on Xehanort. He’s spent all day with his fist around the trinket at the end of a chain, but once he realizes what she’s talking about, his palm opens.

           Eraqus blacks out. A knee gives way and he can just hear his friends’ voices past the high-pitch ringing. But there’s one voice fluctuating in his brain. And then he sees them—the one he left behind. It doesn’t last though; the darkness begins to fade, blurring that long-lost face until it clears away to reveal Xehanort and the ring hanging from his neck.

           Now, Xehanort always had one up on Eraqus with his natural talent, but no one ever denied that Eraqus was stronger. So it takes little effort for Eraqus to stand and slam his classmate into the wall, holding him off the floor; in fact, he doesn’t hold back at all and the blow leaves Xehanort winded.

           “WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?!” Eraqus roars. Xehanort gasps for air. “ANSWER ME! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?!”

           “Eraqus!” Vor cries.

           Bragi tries to force his way between them. “Dude, let him go!”

           A pair of arms wrap around him. Hermod, the only person who could contest Eraqus in strength, pulls back with so much force that the two go rolling.

           Eraqus throws off the taller boy and gets to his feet. Now between him and his target stands Bragi, keyblade drawn. Bragi didn’t have a hope in hell of stopping an unrestrained Eraqus with force, but his defensive magics were the best in the class. It’ll take the blueblood’s full force behind several attempts to get past.

           “Hey! Cool it!”

           Without a thought behind it, Eraqus wields his own weapon and swings. The barrier cracks beneath the assault. Bragi knows he’s in for it when his shield takes a second hit. As Eraqus readies to break through with a third attack, his weapon catches and pulls him back.

           “Stand down.” Hermod wants his attention.

           “BACK OFF!”

           “I don’t want to hurt you.”

           “OH FUCK YOU!”

           Suddenly, there’s an arm around his neck. It constricts and off-balances Eraqus, pulling him to the ground. A sharp elbow frees the aggressor who turns, finding Xehanort. Before he can get his hands on the boy in black, Hermod and Baldr pull him back. They’re a second too late; his fists curl around Xe’s shirt. Now the whole class is in on the tussle, struggling to pull the boys apart.

           Beneath the pull of all his classmates, Eraqus’s grip relents. The chain snags around his hand, snapping. Once Eraqus regains his footing, he comes face to face with all his friends standing between him and Xehanort, keyblades at the ready. Hermod, Bragi, Baldr, he might have a chance against each of them, but not all at once. The sight sobers his brain a little and the entirety of what just transpired plays in his head.

           Just as Eraqus starts to back down, his eye catches the jewelry on the floor. He can’t let that go; that’s important to him. The young man snatches the ring up, nearly taking Urd’s keyblade in the process. With the charm in his grasp, he flees.

           Eraqus sprints as if his life depends on it. When he finally makes it into the confines of his room, everything starts to sink in. His gaze drops to his fist, clenched bone white. Fingers tremble as they uncurl.

           In his palm rests the glimmering band. Some part of him hoped that he was wrong—that he made a huge mistake. But there’s no mistake; this is the ring.

           The last thread of his sanity snaps. Everything in reach flies across the room, the bedframe and dresser are turned over, and the wall receives a couple of holes. He screams and cries but the pain persists as fresh as it was all those years ago.

           Inevitably, fatigue and the memories bring him down. Alone in the ruins of his room, he morns all over again the one he lost.

Gonna switch it up a bit.

~~~~~

           Pressing down on the alarm orb silences the screech. A sigh leaves his lips, fists rubbing at the burn in his eyes. It takes a good minute or two to convince himself to give up his bed and get ready for class.

           A few days have passed, but the incident still plays in Xehanort’s mind. The shock and terror he felt when he heard his best friend screaming has lived in his heart ever since. What made it worse was the smile the boy greeted them with when all his classmates ran to his aid: weary, apologetic…and sad.

           Eraqus has been an entirely different person for months. He’s always been a complete clown—happy and dorky, but always bright. Now, it’s like someone was wearing his skin, doing a poor imitation of the kid. His laugh was fake and his smile was forced; this is no longer Eraqus and the concern has been eating at Xehanort.

           Still, the most recent incident has really affected the islander. Something about the what he heard sticks in his brain, like a long-forgotten memory so insignificant it didn’t warrant remembering but irritatingly familiar all the same. He hasn’t been able to dislodge the sound from his thoughts, which doesn’t help when he thinks about how he heard it.

           “Yo, Xe, you alright, man?” Bragi leans against the wall, waiting for his turn in the bathroom.

           Not particularly, but he’s not going to let Smarmy Fluffcoat know that. “Yeah, I’m good. Have you seen Eraqus?”

           Bragi shakes his head, meaning it’s likely Eraqus hasn’t gotten out of bed yet. It’s not his job or anything, but Xehanort had picked up the habit of waking the sleepy boy for school. He knew better than to let it become something the slacker could depend on, but he couldn’t help himself when it came to Eraqus—in a lot of things.

           “Era,” he calls, knocking on the door.

           Nothing.

           He tries again. “Eraqus, get up.”

           Nothing. Again.

           For this reason, Eraqus left his door unlocked. However, a turn at the doorknob finds the lock working just fine.

           “What’s wrong?” Vor yawns.

           Xehanort sighs. “Eraqus isn’t up yet and his door is locked. You got a hair pin?”

           The young blond enters her room, returning with the requested item shortly after. It takes Xe only a few seconds to jimmy the lock and break in.

           Normally, curtains are pulled back, letting in the dawning light of morning to help wake the procrastinator. Today, though, they’re completely closed as if to shut out the world. On the bed, blankets are strewn everywhere; one pillow had even been abandoned to the floor. Beneath the mess lies the snoozing boy. It’s clear to see his night had been a rough one. Even as he sleeps, the rings beneath his eyes are dark and that fair skin is pale. He fared as well last night as he has the last few months.

           Xehanort sits on the bedside, taking in Eraqus’s exhausted form. He considers just leaving and letting his friend sleep; light knows he needs it. Seeing him like this tugs at Xe’s heart. This isn’t right; Eraqus is not supposed to be like this.

           The young man reaches over, brushing a strand of ebony hair from his best friend’s face, eliciting a soft sigh. Xe’s palm rests against Era’s face, a thumb rubbing gentle circles against a clammy cheek.

           Stone grey eyes flutter open.

           That’s when the screaming ensues and the surviving pillow smacks Xehanort in the face.

           “Xehanort?”

           “Yes, you idiot. It’s me,” he growls, shoving the hair from his searing face. “Who else would come to wake your lazy ass up for class?”

           There’s that smile, full of lies. “Sorry.”

           “Whatever.” He regrets having woken the boy. “Just go get ready.”

           Eraqus lags, eventually ready to join class just before the bell rings. The boy in black thought this might happen, snagging an extra bagel for his friend. This sluggish behavior continues throughout the day, Xehanort doing what he can to alleviate his friend’s troubles, knowing that all his efforts are essentially useless. Without knowing the problem, Xe can’t do anything meaningful but Eraqus is digging his heels in on this one—deflecting every question with a jester’s trick. That’s the worst part. They’re best friends, probably more if Xehanort had his wish, and yet there’s a distance between them Xe doesn’t know how to overcome.

           Master Odin has granted the class time to study and catch up on late work, so the students chatter amongst themselves as they scribble homework or read—except Eraqus. Tardy Fleetfoot just stares at his book, not actually reading but not at the point of napping either. He looks like the living dead.

           Xehanort hasn’t the slightest clue how to help though. The last time he got Era to nap backfired somewhat so that was the backup plan’s backup. Instead, the young man stews, trying to think of something.  

           There it is again. In the silence it haunts him, ringing in his ears, over and over, stabbing at his brain until he just can’t hold it in anymore.

           “Who’s _____?”

           Eraqus’s face blanks. Pupils blown wide open, he stares as if lost to the world, but a quiet word leaves his mouth.

           “What?”

           Xehanort hesitates but repeats the name. His friend flinches. Xe can see the blood draining from his face and prepares himself to launch over the table should Eraqus faint.

           Somehow, Eraqus keeps his voice steady and somewhat light. “Where did you hear that?”

           Silver brows knit together. “You yelled it.”

           “I what?”

           “Do you not remember that?”

           “No…?”

           “Huh.” Based on his reaction, Xehanort is sure he knows something. “Well, who are they?”

           He’s not sure if that expression is Eraqus looking for an answer or an excuse. Finally, Eraqus shakes head. “I have no idea. You sure it wasn’t something else I said?”

           No, Xehanort is certain of what he heard. “I guess it could’ve been.”

           The two get back to studies—or rather, their own thoughts. Hours pass; things press on as normal as they can be but it’s not normal. Even their friends can tell; Xehanort can see the concern on their faces as they glance at him.

           With the cacophony of that noise in his brain and his worries for his friend, Xehanort is on the brink of snapping. He’s not sure if he’d cry or scream or what, but he knows he can’t do that in front of everyone, let alone Eraqus. He’d just make things worse.

           “Are you okay?” Vor breaks his thoughts as the group ambles towards the dorms. “You don’t look so good?”

           Xe’s very aware of the stone-colored eyes on him. “Actually, I’m feeling a little sick. I think I’m gonna call it early tonight.”

           “Do you want me to get you some water or something?” Vor’s such a sweetheart.

           “No, that’s okay. Thanks though.”

           Xehanort splits from the group at the dormitory, heading for his room. The moment the lock clicks behind him, exhaustion descends. Despite the day being lax in terms of physical effort, his heart has been put through a lot of mental and emotional stress. This is how interacting with Eraqus is lately and it shouldn’t be.

           Then there’s the unanswered questions. Eraqus knows that name, even if he won’t admit it. Somehow, Xehanort does too. The yelling in his brain has devolved to incessant whispering in his heart. He knows it, he knows he does, but all he has to show for it is a nagging feeling.

           Rummaging through his dresser, he finds the small black bag. It jingles as he dumps its contents into his open palm. Hanging from a silver chain is a ring. He’s had the ring for as long as he can remember but knows nothing about it—where it came from, what it means, why he has it, nothing. The only thing he really understands is that he can never let it go; that’s what his heart tells him.

           It’s been a while since he last wore the chain, so he slips it over his head. He can’t say why but the silver piece brings him comfort, warding off the frustration and worry for another day.

           With a veil of protection over his heart and mind, Xehanort manages to fall asleep.

Was looking for ideas how to scale the four storeys in “Deprivation” and asked hubby his opinion. Went a little like this…

~~~~~

               Eraqus and Xehanort stare up at the open window high above.

               “I bet you could jump that,” Eraqus says. Xehanort gives him a disbelieving look. “What?”

               “You idiot. No way I could jump that.”

               “What? You need a running start or something?”

               “Just—Shut up.”

~~More nonsense~~

               The boys stand atop the two busses they stacked on top of each other.

               “Damn. We’re still not tall enough,” hums Eraqus.

               “Maybe you can reach if you climb on my shoulders.”

I don’t have much to say, but this was a fun one to write. 

~~~~~

           “Eraqus. Eraqus!”

           The boy in white jolts awake, sitting up straight in his assigned seat. The blurry woman at the front of the room begins to clear. Her arms are folded, those sharp eyes bore into him, and the blood drains from his face.

           “Mom?”

           Normally, laughter from his friends would fill the room, but even they know that Eraqus is royally screwed.

           “Wh-What are you doing here?” he asks. Even Master Odin behind her is not willing to intervene.

           “I was asked to come speak to your class about a keyblade master’s responsibilities and what’s expected of them,” she answers curtly. “And here I find you disrespecting your teacher by sleeping through his class. Do you even want to be a keyblade master?” His jaw tightens. “I know I raised you better than that.”

           Normally, Eraqus endured his mother’s scolding; most often, he deserved it. He knew he wasn’t the best son in her eyes, slacking off and goofing around all the time. It never deterred him from his nature, but when he was caught, he would bear the consequences.

           However, right now, Eraqus is suffering. Intrusive thoughts plague his every waking hour, eating into his sleep. The exhaustion created a far more muted Eraqus, one struggling to keep up his happy-go-lucky persona. When the boy could fall asleep, the nightmares frequently ruined that. Even his naps—taken more often thanks to it all—were interrupted by terrors. This time, the terror just happened to be his mom.

           “Funny, because I knowyou weren’t raised like this,” the boy grumbles against his palm.

           “What was that?”

           Hand down, he stands up. Defeated, he bows to his mother. “I said I apologize, Master Arlo. Please forgive me.”

           The woman narrows her eyes at him, clearly unconvinced. “Very well. We will discuss this later.”

           Eraqus retakes his seat and the class suffers Master Arlo’s speech on the duties of keyblade warriors. Nails dig into his palms, encouraging him to stay awake. Thankfully, he’s got Bragi and Baldr at his sides to pinch him when starts slipping. It’s an absolute miracle of Kingdom Hearts that he manages to survive.

           The miracle continues after class. Master Odin dismissed them, and even left himself, but Eraq̸͖̾u̷̻̅s̴͎͒ remained behind, knowing that his mother would be tearing into him. That, he endured as well, sitting on the precipice of a blow up that could destroy her. But he kept it contained, draining his spirit even more.

           As the young man goes through the day, thoughts drift to his first encounter with a keyblade wielder. So many things have happened to him since that day. In the beginning he made progress, spurred by his new revelation. It’s painfully clear now though that the “right choices” he made couldn’t have been more wrong. Unfortunately, it was a slippery slope and every attempt to rectify his mistakes only made him even more of a monster. As of late, the same question echoes in his head.

           What would you think of me now?

           “Eraqus.”

           Eyes snap open. “Huh?” Xehanort stares back at him, brows knitted together. They’re in the classroom, playing Alba & Ater again. “Oh, sorry. What did you say?”

           “Are you okay?” Xehanort asks.

           “Yeah, I’m fine. Is it my turn?”

           His eyes scan the board, not recalling the events that lead to this. A hand reaches into view, plucking two pieces off the board.

           “Hey,” Era complains.

           “You weren’t gonna win anyway,” Xehanort says. A few more pieces leave the board.

           “You don’t know that. I was just about to take your Graceful Assassin piece with my Mouse King.”

           “You lost that piece four turns ago.” The boy in black shows off said trophy before it too goes in the box.

           Eraqus surveys the remnants again. “I did?”

           “Are you sure you’re okay?”

           He didn’t win and he’s not winning the argument, so the loser concedes and helps pick up. “Yeah. I’m just tired; you know, like usual.” There’s his practiced smile.

           Unimpressed, Xehanort stands with the box in hand. “You know I don’t believe a word of that.”

           “Shame. It’s all true.” A yawn tries its best to interrupt the sentence.

           “Yeah right. Lie down.”

           “Huh?” Heavy eyes watch Xehanort put the box away.

           “Lie down, you dingus. Or do I have to knock you out for you to get some sleep?” Xe says.

           “Dude, it’s almost time for dinner; there’s no time for a nap.” Tears pique in his eyes from another yawn.

           The boy in black shrugs. “Knock out it is.”

           Xehanort grabs the front of Era’s shirt and pulls an arm back. Immediately, Era tries to hide his face.

           “Okay! Okay! I’ll lie down!”

           The aggressor releases his victim and folds his arm to await compliance. Grumbling, Eraqus curls up towards the window, trying to settle in for his mandated nap. His eyes stare out at Scala, but it doesn’t take long for those intrusive thoughts to begin creeping up on him—their dark tendrils ensnaring his attention to drag him back into depression.

           Then, without warning, a hand wards off all the darkness threatening to take him. Fingers glide through his wavy hair, pulling it free from the tie. The soothing motion of Xehanort carding through his hair grounds Eraqus in the present, allowing him to focus on the peace granted him. All the muscles relax and his eyelids begin to droop.

           He’ll never be to express his gratitude. He needed this, even if just for a few hours.

~~~~~

           Awareness returns, bringing the sleepy boy back from the best rest he’s had in a long time. Reluctantly, he opens his eyes, seeing the darkened ceiling of his classroom. His gaze travels a bit to find the friend that had been there when he fell asleep.

           “Xehanort?”

           Aglow in the moonlight, silver eyes turn on him. “Hm?” That smile squeezes at Era’s guts. “How’d you sleep?”

           Eraqus sits up, dragging a hand down his face. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

           “You looked like you needed it.”

           He knows he shouldn’t, but Eraqus feels a bit of shock at the sincerity. “Why didn’t you just leave me then?”

           Xe smirks. “Well first off, you’re gonna need all the help you can get sneaking out of here. Second, you kept getting all fidgety if I stopped touching you.”

           The room is suddenly a bit too warm for Eraqus. “Uuuuh…”

           “C’mon. We should head back to the dorms.”

           “Won’t the dorms be locked by now?”

           “They should be, but I told Baldr to leave his window open.”

           That’s not really enough for Eraqus to go on, but he follows Xe’s lead sneaking out of the class. They wind their way through the halls, skirting around the occasional guard or two.

           Xe holds up a hand, peering around the corner. There’s a guard exiting the hall down the left so the boys scurry off to the right. Just as Eraqus looks back to see the guard turn the corner, a hand snags around his waist and jerks him into a darkened recess in the wall. When he regains his bearings, Eraqus flushes. He’s chest to chest with Xehanort, his face ilms away. Immediately, he tries to pull away, but Xehanort pulls him in tighter and a hand clamps over his mouth.

           Holding perfectly still in the shadows, the boys await the new guard’s passing. Only then does Xe’s hand lower and they watch the sentry turn the corner.

           “That was close,” breathes Xehanort.

           The darkness becomes a bit warmer when the two turn on each other. Breath collides, the rhythm of rising chests falling in sync. Era’s thoughts begin running away from him.

           Knowing full well he shouldn’t be tempting himself, Eraqus mutters, “We…should go before the next guard comes around.”

           Xehanort releases his best friend. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

           Eraqus and Xehanort manage to get out of the citadel and behind the dorm building. As he goes, Xehanort’s eyes are up on the wall.

           “There’s Baldr’s window.” There’s an open window high above.

           “That’s four stories up! How are we supposed to reach that?!” His gaze follows the pointing finger. “That tree only reaches the second story!”

           “Look, I didn’t think that far ahead, okay?! Just get in the tree and we’ll deal with it when we get there!”

           Xehanort’s big plan by the time they reach the second story via the tree turns out to be ice magic. Small ice spells are flung strategically against the wall to create steps reaching Baldr’s window.

           “You realize if we slip, we splat, right?” Era asks.

           “Do you got a better idea?” The response is a shrug. “I didn’t think so. Now you stay here until I get up there and then I’ll help you up.”

           And off he goes. Eraqus waits with baited breath, prepared to do something if Xehanort slips—he doesn’t know what, but he’ll do something. There’s a moment where the climber does slip a little, but he holds on and manages to pull himself inside. Not too much later, a blanket tumbles out the window. His best friend and classmate both peer out the window.

           “You’re gonna have to do some climbing, but you can hold onto this when you get there,” Xehanort says.

           “Oh great,” Eraqus murmurs. Without his own plan, he starts hiking, using an iron grip on the blanket when he makes it that far.

           “When you asked me to leave my window open, I didn’t realize you would be using it as a door,” grumbles a newly-woken Baldr, helping Xehanort hoist Eraqus into the room.

           “What else did you think we were doing?” Xe asks.

           He sighs. “I don’t know. But what the heck is all this?” Baldr waves to ice along the wall.

           “We had to improvise.”

           Baldr stares between the two and then slaps a hand across his face. “You two realize we have keyblade gliders, right?”

           Silence.

           “Morons.”

           The mischief makers leave poor Baldr to his sleep, off to find their own rooms. Era glances to Xehanort. He looks tired, though it is late. Still, it’s thanks to him Eraqus finally managed to get some rest and then they got to have a crazy adventure. This entire ordeal is silly and Eraqus actually had some fun.

           Upon reaching his door, Eraiqus pauses.

           “Xe.”

           “Yeah?”

           “Thanks.”

           That smile squeezes his heart. “Good night, you goof.”

Seriously, I fell in love with this plot/idea/ship thing, but the number of times I read “Brain and Xehanort” and cracked up is innumerable. But I’m freaking stick to it. I love it. BRAINORT FOREVER!

AN: Immediately Post KH3

~~~~~

           “Here.” The old master takes the arm of the defeated Seeker, pulling it over his shoulder. “Ready?”

           There’s a softness he hasn’t seen in a long time. “Yes.”

           Engulfed in light, their old forms revert to the time Eraqus fell in love with Xehanort. His grin is met by Xehanort’s sheepish smile and acceptance washes over them—it’s time for them to go.

           Reunited hearts drift away, beginning their journey to Kingdom Hearts.

           One of them echoes as they float away. “You know, you kept me waiting a long time.”

           “You knew the whole time, didn’t you?” asks the other. “That we were the same person.”

           “I had my suspicions, but it would’ve been wrong of me to say so without being certain.”

           There’s a sigh. “You’ve always been a pain in the ass.”

           “Yeah, but you love me.”

           “I never stopped.”

           An even brighter light takes them, transporting the wayward hearts to a realm far away.

           Blurry sight gives way, finding the boys home—at Scala ad Caelum. He can’t help smiling, his grin growing as he stares at his partner. Silver eyes, as beautiful as ever, turn on him.

           “Brain?”

           “Huh?” He surveys himself. This is Brain, just as he was when they first met. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, all things considered. You okay, darlin’?” Old habits are easy to pick up.

           His partner, as he stands, looks conflicted. “Should I…Is it okay for me to be Xehanort?”

           “What d’you mean?”

           Those eyes must see the terrible deeds stained on those hands. “After everything I did, is it right for me to be Xehanort?”

           Brain intervenes, taking a hand. “Don’t think like that. You had the best intentions just…a flawed way of going about it.”

           Shoulders droop, but Xehanort agrees. “Isn’t that an understatement.” The pair let out soft, weary laughter. “So what do we—”

           “Xehanort!”

           The boy in black takes an impact that knocks him to the ground. “Vor?”

           She nearly strangles Xehanort with her embrace. Brain watches as a few more familiar faces join the petite blond in mauling the young man and tears well in Brain’s eyes. It’s them; all of them—together again.

           Amid the celebration, Bragi brings attention to the odd man out. “You really know how to make a dramatic plot twist, don’cha Fleetfoot.”

           Startled, Brain asks, “You know?”

           “Pfft, you thought we wouldn’t find out?”

           “How—"

           “I wondered when I’d finally get to meet you.”

           That’s his voice—or more accurately, that’s the voice of his second life.

           Beyond the group of former classmates stands a mirror image of the young man Brain impersonated for an entire lifetime. He’s radiant and regal and everything that he should have been. This is the newborn life taken by Brain.

           His name slips past Brain’s lips. “Eraqus…”

           The boy in white approaches without hesitation or even a sign of contempt on his face; meanwhile, Brain steps back, recoiling like the coward he is. Every inch of him is frozen in fear as his relative stands before him, beaming.

           “It’s nice to meet you, grandpa.”

           It’s not adding up. “You…You’re not mad?”

           His eyes downcast. “I used to be. Hatred and despair were all I knew, but someone else taught me compassion and pity.”

           He never deserved any of this.

           Eraqus continues, “I’ve thought about this meeting a million times over and what I would say to you. I used to think about screaming and fighting or even avoiding you altogether. I don’t know if I can forgive you, but knowing your true history and the sorrow that drove you to such lengths, all I could ever come up with was ‘I’m sorry.’”

           “Sorry?” Brain’s lips quirk in a smile but he’s falling apart. “You’re apologizing to me?”

           That is a pure smile far too good for Brain. “You’ve suffered more than a single lifetime; I think that’s enough.”

           The broken man collapses. At his side joins his grandson consolation and Brain clings to him as he sobs an endless string of apologies that could never make up for what he did. Yet Eraqus accepts them all.

           Some time passes before Brain can rein in his emotions and, while the group seems happy enough to wait, someone else is not.  

           “Braaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiin!”

           Eraqus releases Brain just in time for a familiar feline to tackle him. Baffled, the man stares down at the silver spirit in his arms.

           “Chi-chi?!” The Chirithy buries their face against his shirt.

           Another spirit skips to a stop before them, peering up at Xehanort. “Do…Do you remember now?”

           Xehanort, a warm smile on his face, leans forward to nuzzle his spirit’s forehead. “Yeah. I missed you, Chia.”

           Seeing them reunited is heart-melting; however, as mentioned, Chi-chi isn’t so sweet.  

           “What took you so long?!” they complain.

           He chuckles, wiping at his eyes. “Sorry, I had a lot of things to do.”

           “I bet you were just being lazy.”

           A bit of that old sass come out as Brain pinches their cheek. “Thanks, pal.”

           It’s Xehanort’s turn to laugh. “Well, they’re not wrong.”

           Once the laughter at Brain’s expense dies, Eraqus speaks again. “It was Chi-chi who guided me here and introduced me to the Master.” He smiles. “Oh right. We should head to the citadel, Master Ephemer is waiting to see you both.”

           Gods, if any more surprises come his way, Brain may die a fourth time. “Ephemer’s here?”

           Eraqus grins. “Yeah. Where else would he have gone?”

           Xehanort pulls Brain against him. “You okay, sweetheart?”

           “Yeah, just…wow.”

           Urd puts a hand to her hip. “We’ll go ahead and let the Master know you’re on your way.”

           “You two take a moment to collect yourselves and meet us up there, okay?” Hermod tacks on.

           The group gathers to leave and Chia and Chi-chi take their leave. Eraqus stands to join the group, looking surprisingly comfortable among them. In spite of all that happened, he looks truly happy among the native Scalans, which is more than Brain ever could’ve hoped for his grandson.

           “It’s easy to see where Eraqus gets his good looks from,” Xehanort teases.

           Brain takes the bait. “Hey, are you hitting on my grandkid?”

           “He looks good.” Heads bump together softly. “But you’re the one I fell in love with.”

           “Geeze, and here I thought I’d be the one consoling you.”

           “Really?” Xehanort rubs at the tear stains on his lover’s face. “You took my leaving pretty hard. Surely I’ll have to make up for that someday.”

           Brain laughs pitifully. “Guess in the whole scheme of things, we’re both massive disasters.”

           Xehanort agrees. “Maybe that’s why we’re meant for each other.”

           “Probably.”

           A bashful hand rests against the back of his neck, catching on a string of metal. The ring bumps against his chest.

           He has it—he still has it. Even after everything that happened, this little piece of metal has weathered it all, somehow seeing these two lost souls through lifetimes and to Kingdom Hearts. It’s a shame it never got to be used as intended.

           But maybe that can change.

           “Xehanort?”

           “Yeah?”

           “Before anything else happens—” Brain does his best to prop himself up on one knee, pulling the chain over his head. “Will you marry me?”

           Xehanort chuckles, extending a hand. “Didn’t you get the note I left in the box?”

           Taking said hand, Brain places a kiss against the knuckles. “Just answer the question. Please?”

           Xe rolls his eyes, but smiles anyway, his expression made of pure adoration. “Yes.”

           The proposer fiddles with the chain, nervously dropping the ring in the process. Fair cheeks turn rosy as his lover laughs, but he presses on, slipping the ring where it was always meant to be.

           A light emanates from the gems, consuming the ring entirely before it dies out. Old dinned metal shines brand-new and dull gems sparkle radiantly; it looks exactly as it did the day Brain bought it.

           “You really outdid yourself with this one,” Xehanort says, admiring the band.

           “Yeah, well, I spent weeks looking for the perfect one. Lauriam kept nagging me about being picky. Said you’d like it no matter which one I picked.”

           “And he was right.” Brain frowns as Xe laughs. “But thank you for going through all the trouble to make it perfect.”

           Brain’s stomach flips and he gives a cheesy smile. Then Xehanort leans forward, connecting their lips in a long-awaited kiss. Immediately, Brain gives in to his partner’s every notion. He always enjoyed taking his time, memorizing the feel of his darling’s mouth on his, learning every little detail and reaction, exploring his love’s feelings. There’s certainly regret and apology—nothing Brain himself didn’t have—but there’s happiness, desire, and missing. Most importantly, there’s love. Like the ring, it’s weathered centuries and survived the deepest darkness, but it, too, goes on.

           However, despite being a submissive make-out partner, Brain can’t contain this feeling of freedom blooming in his chest. His burdens are gone, he doesn’t have an ulterior motive to act on, and he’s reunited with the person he loves most.

           Brain takes Xehanort by the waist, tugging him closer as he falls backwards. A surge of contentment rolls through Brain as Xehanort lays flat against him and his hungry hands snake into silver hair. With his mouth, he begs for more, having been deprived of such affection for so long, and Xehanort graciously gives it to him.

           While the pair could indulge for eternity, there are people waiting on them. Xehanort breaks first, pulling away in spite of Brain attempting to follow. The chagrin dissipates, in favor of admiration. As always, his beloved is beautiful.

           This is everything he’s ever wanted. Brain never wanted to do all those things; he never wanted the prestige and power he created; he never even wanted to be a Dandelion. He just wanted to be with the person he loved. Now that’s everything they have.

           Soft laughter engrosses the couple, their happiness clear as the sky above.

           And it’s all they need.

This is pretty in line with KH:DR if I’m being honest. P:

~~~~~

           “You don’t have to leave.”

           Though his voice is steady, Eraqus feels his world crumbling around him. Nevertheless, here he stands, the vision of the young man before him flickering. He can’t let this turn out like last time; he’ll be destroyed if it does.

           In the four years since the tragedy, things have only gone downhill. Eraqus had just begun healing from the trauma of his past, only for it all to come crashing back down. The darkness had taken even more people from him and Eraqus couldn’t forgive himself.

           At his side stood Xehanort, ever steady and always pulling him forward—at least for a while. Recently, Xehanort had been secluding himself, burying his nose in books and going off-world alone. These things wouldn’t normally be a problem, but the fact that his boyfriend refused to let Eraqus join is what hurt the most, driving him back into his depression.

           And then Xehanort announced that he was leaving. Eraqus was crushed. He knew Xehanort was looking for something, but he refused to let Eraqus in on it. They’ve had this argument several times now and, while he wants to scream at the seeker for trying to leave without a word, Eraqus is far more desperate for him to stay.

           “What happened wasn’t your fault.” It was mine.

           Xehanort lifts his gaze from the graves. “I Just want to see what’s out there before the Mark of Mastery exam.”

           “That’s not for a while. Besides, you’ve already seen what’s out there.” That’s how we lost them.

           The young man shakes his head. “Not everything.”

           Fear gnaws at Eraqus’s insides. “What are you looking for?”

           Silence. Then, without a word, Xehanort turns to walk past Eraqus.

           Fists clench, but he puts on a front. “So you’re gonna run away just as the underdog’s about to take the lead?”

           That stops Xehanort in his tracks. Only the sound of pouring rain consumes them until Xehanort speaks.

           “Don’t you miss them?”

           The front falters. “Of course I do.”

           “What about the Dandelions?”

           Unsure of where this is going, Eraqus answers. “Every day.”

           From his pocket, Xehanort pull the chain necklace. “And what about them?”

           At the sight of the ring, Eraqus clams up. It would be a lie to say he hasn’t been thinking of the past often as of late, and he’s pretty sure that Xehanort is aware of that. Still, his silence frustrates Xehanort who turns back.

           “Don’t you want to see them again?”

           “What does it matter? We can’t change the past.”

           “You don’t know that,” snaps Xehanort. “I’m going to try, even if it’s the last thing I ever do. I’m going to fix this, E—”

           That feels like a knife to the heart. He can’t remember the last time he heard Xehanort say his name; in fact, he’s certain his young lover has gone out of his way to avoid saying it. Eraqus has his suspicions as to why, but gods he wishes he was wrong.

           “Say it.” Eraqus stands firm as Xehanort turns an empty stare on him. “Say my name.”

           His fist tightens on the chain. “I’m going to fix this, for you, Grandmaster Brain.”

           There it is. Xehanort is doing everything he can to separate himself from Eraqus, using a name from another life Xehanort had nothing to do with. At least as far as Xehanort knows.

           Along with Eraqus’s suspicions that Xehanort would leave him, he’d begun to piece together similarities between them. Simple things from Xehanort’s specific way of eating things to the way his nose crinkled when he laughed. Then there was the way he treated Eraqus; it may be sharper than the one he called “darlin’” but there’s no doubt that Xehanort was always trying to protect him.

           Of course, Eraqus told himself over and over that these were merely coincidences—it was wrong of him to compare the two. Still, the thought never left him. In fact, the more he dwelt on it, the more right it seemed. The sheer fact Xehanort had that ring already connected them.

           But how could he tell him that without possibly destroying who Xehanort was? How would he take the idea that he may be someone else reincarnated? Would he be able to accept that Eraqus really did love him for him and not just because he might be someone else?

           None of this would be happening if only Brain had been strong enough.

           “Anyway, I think it’s best that I gave this back to you.” The ring flies through the air at Eraqus, denying him the chance to refuse.

           “We made a deal,” Eraqus argues.

           Xehanort’s response is empty. “Hopefully, when I’m done, you can keep your promise to the one you actually bought that fore.”

           Tears meld with the rain on his face as his emotions begin to get the better of him. “Why are you doing this?!”

           “I already told you why.”

           “So you’re just going to leave me for a mission that might not even work?!” Eraqus yells. “Risk your life for what’s likely to be a failure?! I know you’re not stupid, so why are you doing this to me?!”

           It’s small, but Xehanort’s shoulders shudder in laughter. “Because I love you.”

           It’s happening again and anything he says to make Xehanort stay will be meaningless. This is how it always is. Someone’s always hurting to protect him.

           “Wait!” He rushes forward, snagging the seeker’s wrist. “Marry me!”

           “What?!”

           As if the strongest gravity spell befell him, his knees hit the stone path. “Marry me! Please! I’m begging you!” Xehanort doesn’t answer and the fear from long ago swells. “I don’t know what to do without you! I’m scared to be alone again! Please don’t leave me! Not you too!”

           “You…” Even Xehanort’s voice quavers. “You’ll be okay.”

           “No, I won’t! My union, my friends, my partner: I lost them all! I can’t-…Please don’t make me do this again!”

           Warm hands cup his face just before a soft kiss meets his forehead.

           “I’m going to fix this.”

           Eyes filled with pity watch Eraqus as Xehanort backs away. Then, the boy in black lifts his hood and walks away.

           “YOU SAID YOU WOULD BE RIGHT BESIDE ME!” His sanity fraying at the seams, Eraqus slams a fist against the ground. “…To make sure I don’t sink any lower.”

           But Xehanort never looks back.

           Without Xehanort, Eraqus truly does fall. The happiness that was his saving grace is gone, replaced with a hatred for the darkness that surpassed obsessive. He sought tirelessly to go beyond the strength he had as an old master, determined to win this time.

           And it led him down a very dark road.