Hi! Enjoy these stupid limericks I just wrote:

There once was a woman named Wanda

Of her robot husband she was fonda.

But he was dead

And she saw red

Tossing your ass into the great beyond-a

There once was a man named Buck

Who had shit-all kind of luck

He lost his left arm

And most of his charm

And always woke up asking “What the fuck?”

There was a pipsqueak name Steve

Whose friends could hardly believe

He’d get his ass beat

And would think it neat

Even when Bucky et al. told him to leave

There once was a soldier named Sam

Who found himself on the lam

Thanks to Steve

Who would up and leave

And leave him to get Bucky out of a jam

Okay, off to continue to avoid the WIPs I have. Byeeeee!

limerickshere:

memewhore:

The first Polish dictionary source is

Well known for such striking discourses

As “everyone knows

So we won’t compose

Definitions to say what a horse is.”

Submitted by @whumpymirages:

My addition:

I hope this you all will amuse (sic)

When sent lim'rick tunes here, I use it!

I don’t have the words

So call me absurd

But here’s what I wrote to the music

beetledrink:

beetledrink:

beetledrink:

my family fucked up my life by using spoonerisms interchangeably with their true phrase counterparts since before i was born and now i can’t escape from instinctively saying shit like “im gonna shake a tower”

oh “meeking a smee” made me feel like i was being fucking tazed

theres a lot of people on this website who dont realize their dad is a gnome

As over this site we do roam
And through posts like these we do comb,
You realize ‘s no hoax
That so many folks
Don’t realize their dad is a gnome.

aqueerkettleofish:

urbanfantasyinspiration:

celtic-pyro:

cutthroatchorus:

female-twink-deactivated2021032:

queerautism:

queerautism:

On the topic of English people being shitheads towards Welsh people - This fucking dude today on AITA

Yeah pretty sure we’re all hoping for a divorce on this one lol

how did this fucker say it’s “not as bad as it sounds” and then somehow end up being even worse than it sounds by the fourth sentence

Further updates, I couldn’t resist looking this one up.

Character development.

His last comment translates from welsh as:

thank you very much everyone and good night

Yes, you’re the asshole of course
As the comments are yelling themselves hoarse
Your daughter is fine
She’s bilingual - don’t whine!
So thank god you’re showing remorse.

sexygaywizard:

sexygaywizard:

50rats:

sexygaywizard:

sexygaywizard:

Holy shit, oh my god! 50 of them??

Me when I’m a sexy gay wizard that suddenly realizes they are being followed by 50 rats

ALT

OMG LMAO I WOULD NEVER RUN FROM YOU, 50 RATS, I JUST DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE BEHIND ME

You know what you are so right… We have a bond, these 50 rats and I….

OH SHIT OH NO

WAIT

I CAN’T FEED THIS MANY RATS

A quick note to all, the post you
Just read, someonesent me to do.
When posts do enthrall,
I hope that you’ll all
Feel free to send those to me too!

~~~

You’re wizarding, gay, as you walk
When fifty whole rats to you flock
You start to give food
Butmore you’ve accrued!
You feed them in sexy gay shock

axiomofhope:

intactics-deactivated20211231:

and i don’t necessarily believe any of this i’m just saying words recreationally

the last sentence of my thesis

I say things, they’re not conversational

And certainly not informational

I may or may not

Believe or have thought

‘Bout words that are just recreational.

oneheadtoanother:

Yes being bisexual’s nice

It’s great, but it comes at a price

It’s quite a concern

Whenever you learn

You’ll only have sex up to twice

b7te:

hope i’m not just a mutual to you but also your secret crush that you’re so in love with so much

I hope it’s not just a touch

Of friendship we have here as such

We’re mutuals, true,

But secret crush too?

(That you’re in love with so much)

here-there-everyfuckenwhere:

Just saw a post saying “please never send me Good Omens fanfic it’s literally illegal for me to read” and I was like “woah wtf happened in the good omens fandom??” And then I realised it was a post by Neil fucking Gaiman

A post ‘bout Good Omens was claimin’
“I can’t leg’lly read fic, okay-man?” 
I got real engrossed
Then realized the post
Was written by Neil fucking Gaiman.

incel-moved-deactivated20210803:

I’ll never get why some have carried

Such fear that they’re constantly harried

About others’ affairs

It’s no business of theirs:

Just let the dang spiders get married.

fandomsandfeminism:

lizluvscupcakes:

rowark:

random-ferret:

The spirit of Diogenes is alive and well

This is funny, obviously, but even if you don’t go to the extreme of the example above, this is a separate seat for one person, with a back and 4 legs:

But it’s not a chair. It’s a bar stool.

This, however, are all chairs:

Each one is missing at least one component of the chair definition above.

So like… it’s almost like strict definitions are exclusionary.

Reblog to hit a transphobe with a separate seat for one person

It’s an ongoing joke in my friend group that it’s basically impossible to define a sandwich. The group chat is filled with “wait….are quesadillas a sandwich? Are dumplings a sandwich? Are hot pockets a sandwich? Are uncrustables a sandwich? Are ravioli a sandwich?”

And it’s a fun game because you can always argue either point- trying to draw strict definitions is always going to include some non-sandwiches and exclude some totally-sandwiches. Real life things always have edge cases and exceptions.

The game becomes less fun when bigots are trying to use it to attack trans women, but the principle remains. Very few things in life can be strictly defined without this inclusion/exclusion problem.

The labels we think of, like “food,”

Shift meaning a lot, we conclude

They’re disparate guides:

Each person decides

What content they think they include.

The way that these words work is thus:

They’re made up to help us discuss.

There’s nothing inerrant

Or even inherent

In labels we made to serve us.

gravedangerahead:

unbotheredmuse:

As posts like these are arising,
It slowly becomes less surprising.
To questions assuage:
The average age
Of tumblr users is rising

fedgf1-deactivated20220521:

To norm’lize the grind straight up misses
Please stop and and enjoy all life’s blisses
The grind’s not your top
Priority; Stop!
And normalize whatever this is

tchaikovskaya:

tchaikovskaya:

none of yall know what propaganda actually is, do you?

this is legitimately the absolute funniest thing anyone has ever added to one of my posts, thank you for your service

You’re tired and plop on veranda,

And you see a friend stop, it’s Amanda,

You put down your book

And take a good look,

And *that* there’s a real propaganda

Alright my friends, don’t miss
This chance to reminisce
Onmemes of old
And those still told - 
I’m really proud of this… 

spifflocated:

THIS TIME… Jonathan attempts a limerick

On departure I most feared the mob
Of the robbers who wanted to rob
But now vampires are rife
And I fear for my life
I was just trying to do my job!

dorsalfin:

actually. the point of it all is to be sweet to your friends. so there

When feeling that life doesn’t care

And “what’s the whole point?” is your prayer,

I hope you recall

The point of it all:

Be sweet to your friends – so there.

tiktoks-for-tired-tots:

As all entertainment we lap

From tumblr’s long pages, let’s clap

For cuteness and more

The weirdness galore -

Please watch how this cat takes a nap

There was an old man by the sea
Whose feet were bigger than me!
He got in his boat
Away he did float
And never an oar did he need