there’s something endlessly hilarious to me about the phrase “hotly debated” in an academic context. like i just picture a bunch of nerds at podiums & one’s like “of coursethere was a paleolithic bear cult in Northern Eurasia” and another one just looks him in the eye and says “i’l kill you in real life, kevin”
I heard a story once about two microbiologists at a conference who took it out into the parking lot to have a literal fistfight over taxonomy.
have i told this story yet? idk but it’s good. The Orangutan Story:
my american lit professor went to this poe conference. like to be clear this is a man who has a doctorate in being a book nerd. he reads moby dick to his four-year-old son. and poe is one of the cornerstones of american literature, right, so this should be right up his alley?
wrong. apparently poe scholars are like, advanced. there is a branch of edgar allen poe scholarship that specifically looks for coded messages based on the number of words per line and letters per word poe uses. my professor, who has a phd in american literature, realizes he is totally out of his depth. but he already committed his day to this so he thinks fuck it! and goes to a panel on racism in poe’s works, because that’s relevant to his interests.
background info: edgar allen poe was a broke white alcoholic from virginia who wrote horror in the first half of the 19th century. rule 1 of Horror Academia is that horror reflects the cultural anxieties of its time (see: my other professor’s sermon abt how zombie stories are popular when people are scared of immigrants, or that purge movie that was literally abt the election). since poe’s shit is a product of 1800s white southern culture, you can safely assume it’s at least a little about race. but the racial subtext is very open to interpretation, and scholars believe all kinds of different things about what poe says about race (if he says anything), and the poe stans get extremely tense about it.
so my professor sits down to watch this panel and within like five minutes a bunch of crusty academics get super heated about poe’s theoretical racism. because it’s academia, though, this is limited to poorly concealed passive aggression and forceful tones of inside voice. one professor is like “this isn’t even about race!” and another professor is like “this proves he’s a racist!” people are interrupting each other. tensions are rising. a panelist starts saying that poe is like writing a critique of how racist society was, and the racist stuff is there to prove that racism is stupid, and that on a metaphorical level the racist philosophy always loses—
then my professor, perhaps in a bid to prove that he too is a smart literature person, loudly calls: “BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ORANGUTAN?”
some more background: in poe’s well-known short story “the murder in the rue morgue,” two single ladies—a lovely old woman and her lovely daughter who takes care of her, aka super vulnerable and respectable people—are violently killed. the murderer turns out to be not a person, but an orangutan brought back by a sailor who went to like burma or something. and it’s pretty goddamn racially coded, like they reeeeally focus on all this stuff about coarse hairs and big hands and superhuman strength and chattering that sounds like people talking but isn’t actually. if that’s intentional, then he’s literally written an analogy about how black people are a threat to vulnerable white women, which is classic white supremacist shit. BUT if he really only meant for it to be an orangutan, then it’s a whole other metaphor about how colonialism pillages other countries and brings their wealth back to europe and that’s REALLY gonna bite them in the ass one day. klansman or komrade? it all hangs on this.
so the place goes dead fucking silent as every giant ass poe stan in the room is immediately thrust into a series of war flashbacks: the orangutan argument, violently carried out over seminar tables, in literary journals, at graduate student house parties, the spittle flying, the wine and coffee spilled, the friendships torn—the red faces and bulging veins—curses thrown and teaching posts abandoned—panels just like this one fallen into chaos—distant sirens, skies falling, the dog-eared norton critical editions slicing through the air like sabres—the textual support! o, the quotes! they gaze at this madman in numb disbelief, but he could not have known. nay, he was a literary theorist, a 17th-century man, only a visitor to their haunted land. he had never heard the whistle of the mortars overhead. he had never felt the cold earth under his cheek as he prayed for god’s deliverance. and yet he would have broken their fragile peace and brought them all back into the trenches.
much later, when my professor told this story to a poe nerd friend, the guy said the orangutan thing was a one of the biggest landmines in their field. he said it was a reliable discussion ruiner that had started so many shouting matches that some conferences had an actual ban on bringing it up.
so my professor sits there for a second, still totally clueless. then out of the dead silence, the panel moderator stands up in his tweed jacket and yells, with the raw panic of a once-broken man:
The feel of weightlessness wrought on as all things are held bound in a momentary stasis during a break in the tension, a single breath of pause in the chaos and mental static as Iida break through to his dear friend.
Granting Deku a brief reprieve as his mental processes are eased into a lull. It’s likely all but for the span between breaths taken this child is himself. Eyes wide. Iris returned as the signifier where Iida was able to meet his friend on his level and show him that it’s okay, they’ll meet him no matter where he finds himself. Yet also, it’s pointless to remain alone cuz bitch plz ya bess check yoself, can’t keep up? Oh hun.
They’ll find a way.
It’s not always immediate, takes time, planning and experiencing failure numerous times but it’s all anticipated because boi, they know you. Or at least know enough. Knew enough to orchestrate all this and meet you on the solitary wavelength you were certain held naught for residential space for any but you.
Touch is a powerful sensation, be it skin to skin or nay but the pressure of a familiar gesture that speaks unhindered by any given barriers.
Deku has been listening to every word, he’s been hearing them, but this, for me, is where it all finally broke through.
He is lost. He is a lost child who can’t seem to find his way as he wanders alone in uncertainty.
He’s been found.
Seconds. The span of mere seconds. Yet it was enough to bring Izuku back to the surface. He doesn’t have to strength to let go and it isn’t the encroaching moment where his body folds to the weight of exhaustion speaking (even as the boi is spent).
He doesn’t NEED to let go, he’s merely convinced he must as distance is the only method he feels will keep those he cares for safe.
Much like my last post, kid, it’ll happen with or without you. Your absence or presence can be a deciding factor but you bear meter to gauge in what way it will be affecting. Either is an open door for disaster.
Deku’s face.
Dear child.
You look like you’re in need of saving.
I can’t help but feel he knows this.
He doesn’t have the strength to let go or to fight them anymore of which I largely find an indicator that truthfully, he doesn’t want to. It’s easy to surmise he never did. Deku has been the one to push and push and push to be able to stand on his own as he always saw the others around him being able to do so and as All Might’s successor felt it imperative to exist as a lone entity keeping the peace.
Sweetie that failed.
But, in truth. It’s also born from knowing he’ll contend with AFO and Shiguraki.
The strength of those around you has been at its peak when working together as it stood to highlight weaknesses and strengths and compliment each other’s capabilities or showcase where they could improve. Shoji handed you the truth you once spoke. The strength of fighting together is a formidable force that could compete against All Might, who at that time, was held as the peak of power.
I just, love this moment. In the gap between spaces, a break occurred.
A needed break in Deku’s diminishing resolve. Where you see him, as himself, shine through. Where he was finally reached and dredged up from the depths. We need rescued from ourselves at times.
The artistry of this moment speaks and it speaks loudly.
Okay, I knowHP fandom hatesthe way Slytherin was treated in the books, with all its implications. I knowJKR’s belief that all blood supremacists go to Slytherin sounds implausible and dodgy. I know there are kids who have been mocked/side-eyed for being Pottermore-sorted into Slytherin. Hell I know that I’m pretty ehhhh on JKR’s Pottermore reveal that Peter Pettigrew was actually probably a Slytherin. There’s a lot of worthy criticism to be made there & an understandable instinct to want to redeem the house from its less than savoury reputation.
Wizarding culture is fucked up and we shouldn’t shy away from admitting that. There’s a difference between being a Slytherin in our world and being a Slytherin in their world. You are not part of wizarding culture and not subject to the problems that comes with that.
Which is a position reallyworth keeping in mind in anyfandom discussion, especially one concerning Slytherin and its position in HPverse.
2) There have been a couple of posts floating around, defending Salazar Slytherin that I’ve seen lately (x,x), claiming that canon + history are somehow ‘evidence’ that Salazar Slytherin had the ‘right’ idea - and that therefore, canonically, Slytherin was a nice guy and not a bigot. And that is completeandutterbullshit.The rest of this essay is a copy of a response to the original post that I’ve made before, but I’m posting it again because apparently this idea refuses to die a permanent death.
There’s a distinction to be made between headcanon and canon here. You’re free to headcanon Salazar Slytherin however you want, but it’s disingenuous to suggest that there is ‘canonical proof’ for a headcanon when the bulk of canon, well, contradicts it. However, it also pays to be critical about howyou’re headcanoning something and to ask yourself whyyou’re headcanoning Salazar Slytherin’s racism/bigotry away & what you achieve by it - and even more importantly, what real world issues does it feed into/reflect?
3) JKR wrote the persecution of muggleborns as a really reallyclear parallel for anti-semitic persecution through the ages. It’s reallyhard to ignore that when you have things like the Muggleborn Commission (and Mary Cattermole’s trial in Deathly Hallows), propaganda titled with things like “Muggleborns and the Threat they Pose to Wizarding Society”, or hell, even the twisted version of muggle studies the Carrows teach the kids in DH - muggles are wild animals etc. Now, suggesting Salazar Slytherin’s views made ‘sense’ because witches were being persecuted c. the 10th century is
a) historically inaccurate, therefore, completely baseless,
b) is canonically inaccurate because wix in canon have used a variety of spells to save themselves from death, notably, Wendelin the Weird who used Flame-Freezing charms to save herself from burning & the Duc de Trefle-Picques who escaped beheading (and faked his death) using a Disillusionment charm on his head and
c) it suggests that his assertion that muggleborns were a ‘real’ threat were rightand by extension, that that language of justification is all right, as long as a ‘case’ can be made for a ‘threat’ - which has all kinds of really messed up implications re. the real world where the language of ‘threat’ is used repeatedly to justify violence against immigrants, racial minorities, ethnic minorities, religious minorities, sexual minorities and yes, was used to justify the Holocaust (this is basicallythe thesis of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, that the Jews were behind some big ‘conspiracy’ to take over the world, which is one of the texts Hitler built his campaign on).
d) the real world implications areimportant here because HP hasa huge social element to it and if HP fans are going to pat themselves on the back for being more socially aware & tolerant than other fans, then its worth being aware about what kind of views in our society Salazar Slytherin’s declaration that muggleborns were a threat to wizard society (despite them being a relatively powerless minority) is meant to reflect.
e) in doing so, you’ve actually fallen hook, line and sinker for Salazar Slytherin’s own propaganda.
Cool?
Cool.
And now, the really long essay in which I cover all the arguments I’ve seen in favour of Salazar Slytherin in depth using canon, Pottermore & historical & academic sources to talk about why Salazar Slytherin has no foot to stand on. A summary of the arguments I make:
A bigot is alwaysa bigot, no matter how much they talk about ‘threat’ and ‘risk’. This language has been used in the past to exclude minorities, Salazar Slytherin uses it to exclude muggleborns - there’s a really clear principle here.
Salazar Slytherin lived in the 10th century, the witch hunts did not start until the late fourteenth century and really only intensified during the 16th and 17th centuries. Incidentally, the worst of the hunts took place in Germany and not in Britain, though the Scottish witch hunts of the 17th century were pretty bad.
The people of the middle ages held a lot of contradictory views on magic and religion, so even though a bunch of texts concerning folk religious and magic practices were destroyed (though there are lots of exceptions to this) they weren’t only a) studying the Bible and nothing else and b) folk magic really was a thing even during the medieval period.
Witch burnings were mostly to do with getting rid of unwanted people/people who were felt to be ‘burdens’ or ‘undesirable’ but had no real ‘crimes’ that they could be put away for. Socially marginalized groups usually bore the brunt of this persecution. A lot of money-making was involved as well. Actual magic was not always the point of contention.
JKR has independently confirmed that a) Salazar Slytherin’s views were statistical outliers for his time and b) that the belief that muggles were dangerous really only gained traction afterthe establishment of the Statute of Secrecy in 1692.
JKR has also independently deconstructed the idea that witches and wizards had anything to fear by the way persecution in the 14th century, using the character of Wendelin the Weird to do so.
Cuthbert Binns is an unreliable narrator, the wizarding world is highly corrupt and prejudiced - JKR literally spent seven books telling us this was so.
JKR independently confirmed, on Pottermore, that Salazar S. placed the basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets. Also, really, there’s a big difference between a safety room (e.g. a nuclear fallout bunker) and a room that has stone pillars made of snakes, snakes with emeralds for eyes and one giant statue of Salazar Slytherin whose mouth opens when you say “Speak to me, Slytherin, greatest of the Hogwarts Four.” in Parseltongue. Sounds more like a shrine to myself, made by Salazar Slytherin to me tbqh.
David Cameron, Donald Trump & Tony Abbott use this same language of ‘risk’ and ‘danger’ to society to explain why immigrants shouldn’t be allowed into their countries; that’sba s i c a l l y what Salazar Slytherin’s views boil down to in the end.
Hit read more because it’s really long. Feel free to reblog this.
[image: a few comic panels from the new teen titans #16. first koriandr (starfire) is talking to donna troy (wonder girl) while raven watches them from behind a wall. kory says “On tamaran we always let our emotions guide us. If something feels right, we do it. Isn’t that all that’s important?” Donna says “It is, but there’s more to it than that. C’mon, sit down…” Then we focus on raven’s face. she thinks “the others… they can talk to each other about things personal… open up to each other in ways I can only dream. Why am I unable to tell them how I feel?” raven starts leaving the room, going into an elevator, and the camera pans to the outside of titans tower. Raven thinks “Why? I know why. All my life I’ve been taught to hide my emotions. Azarath trained me to deny the very emotions that I thrive upon as an empathy. I …. take in others’ pain and sorrow, but never their joy… And because I’ve been taught to bottle my own emotions within me – I can never experience joy of my own. Azar be damned! Because of you, my soul can never be fulfilled! And because of my own inhibitions – I can never tell anyone how terribly I suffer.” next panels are from the new teen titans #19. there are just two. we see raven behind a door, thinking “Starfire has known what it is like to care and be cared for. She has experienced all those emotions which have been denied me. I hate the temple azarath for what they did to me. insisting on perfection…refusing to condone emotion…” Dick grayson (robin, without his mask and cape) walks up to her and she asks “Richard?” end image]
The text says she’s emotionless sometimes, she thinks she hasto be emotionless, but she’s so clearly not. She’s outraged at the injustice of Azararth not helping defeat Trigon, she’s horrified by Trigon’s casual cruelty, she’s jealous and resentful of her friends for being able to have fulfilling relationships and let people in when she can’t.
and like in the above panels we can see she clearly DOESNT feel emotionless, she knows that she is hiding her emotions not getting rid of them… the only thing her training did was get rid of her ability to positively interact with them, not get rid of them period.
and she can clearly recognize that she needs help but cannot allow her friends to actually help her – right after this (when robin tries to check up on her) she zonks him into unconsciousness and leaves. she knows she has all these needs that are not being fulfilled but will not allow them to be fulfilled because she’s too scared of it!
she also can has been taught to be passive in azar’s total pacifism thing, and still practices pacifism and for the most part refuses to fight when she leaves… but she knows the teachings (of total passivity) won’t work to stop trigon and that she has to do something! so she who has been taught passivity all her life leaves her home dimension to put together a team to stop her evil all powerful father not once but TWICE because the first time she is rejected as evil (by the justice league)
@ people who were not born in Ireland and particularly Americans
- It is not Patty’s Day, it is Paddy’s Day. Patty is short for Patricia, Paddy is short for Pádraig which has been anglicised to Patrick. - It is not Gaelic, it is Irish. In Irish, the language is called Gaelige but that’s pronounced Gwayl-geh. - Literally no one in Ireland has ever eaten corned beef and cabbage - We have also never said top of the morning - If you pinch an Irish person for not wearing green on Paddy’s Day they’re likely to slap you. - Why do you dye your drinks green? - It is not “North Ireland” it is “Northern Ireland”. It is not “South Ireland” it is “The Republic of Ireland” or just “Ireland”. - No, I do not know the Dohertys of Mayo. - Please, if you must, do things for the craic and not the crack. Cocaine is not a great habit lads. - Drinks like the “Irish car bomb” and the “black & tan” are incredibly offensive (you wouldn’t drink a “9/11”)
However
- Wearing green is grand - Having a few drinks is also grand, they don’t even need to be Irish (I drink a Swedish cider most of the time) - Aye sure queue up some Irish music on youtube it’s great. - If you want one Irish word to use throughout the day a good one is Sláinte (pronounced slawn-sha) - it’s the equivalent of saying “cheers” before you drink!
Please be respectful on Holidays like this! It’s great to join in and show your respect & appreciation for other cultures celebrations, but remember to actually do that! Have fun, but stay respectful to the culture and religion.
Fun history of corned beef and cabbage.
Beef is cheap in America (lots of land, lots of cows, so there’s such a thing as cheap cuts). So a lot of immigrants who could never afford beef in their home country now had access to beef.
(Example spaghetti and meatballs is an Italian-American invention).
Now Americans hated immigrants (plenty stilldo sadly) and hated anyone who wasn’t Protestant so you had segregation. So in New York the Irish Catholic area was next to the Jewish area. There was solidarity between American Irish and American Jewish immigrants. So Irish-Immigrants bought corned-beef from Jewish butchers.
(In Ireland, you may eat bacon or lamb for St Patrick’s Day, but lamb was (and is) expensive in America, and Irish Immigrants got their meat from Kosher butchers - no bacon).
Brisket is a cut of meat from the front of the cow. It’s a very tough cut of meat. The salting process (it’s like soaked in salt for over a week) and cooking for hours and hours (it’s an all day stew) makes it tender.
So corned beef and cabbage is a dish that evolved out of affordable ingredients (tough cut of beef, cabbage and carrots and potatoes are dirt cheap) and proximity to Jewish immigrants.
St. Patrick’s Day Celebrations as we know them now (parades and the like) were started in America by Irish-American immigrants. Because WASP Americans (white, Anglo Saxon, Protestants) hated Catholics and hated the Irish.
And for all immigrants there was a big push to assimilate (give kids English sounding names, forget your language, become Protestant). But people don’t give up religion easily, names and language maybe, but not God.
So still today you have Irish Catholics, Italian Catholics, Mexican Catholics, etc and even Americans who aren’t practicing Catholic or aren’t religious may view being raised Catholic as part of a cultural identity linked to their heretage (the same way someone who doesn’t practice Judaism is still Jewish, some difference since Judaism is a hereditary religion, but for immigrants in a country that hates Catholics, being Catholic, having that tradition was and is part of being an outsider to American, part of an identity those in power hated and tried to erase).
So holding giant Irish pride parade celebrating the Catholic patron Saint of Ireland was sort of a “fuck you” to anti-Catholic anti-Irish sentiment. A “fuck you” to the idea that being an American meant erasing your traditions and history and pretending to be a White Anglo Saxon Protestant.
Look at us being proudly Irish and still Catholic. Obnoxiously, visibly Catholic and acting ways that the puritanical Protestants hate.
So what was a family religious Holiday became a big, visible celebration of heretage and homeland (a shared identity). And since it’s a celebration immigrants splurged by buying a big cut of beef (beef is cheaper in America, but immigrants did not have a lot of money and meat is still more than vegetables, so any cut of beef was still a special occasion thing) and supported their Jewish neighbors who ran the butcher’s shop.
(also, since it’s a St’s Feast, Lent restrictions on meat and drinking alcohol didn’t count, so eat a lot of meat and drink).
St Patrick’s Day in the US has its own history, heretage and ties to religion (and persecution for that religion). Traditions are tied to that history. So Corned Beef and Cabbage may not be a thing in Ireland but it’s a part of Irish-American tradition, history and culture.
Additionally in the Middle Ages the Irish were known for their high-quality salt-preserved beef and exported it to the continent, and I know for a fact the British fucked up the traditional Irish agronomy in establishing their plantation system, cutting down both cattle husbandry and how much meat was available to the average person.
So I feel like in the 19th century there may have been an existing nostalgia for salt beef that is wholly irrelevant to the Irish today, whose palates have adjusted to the refrigeration era, but which has remained tagged in the ‘ethnic consciousness’ of the diaspora.
top tier character-building device in pokemon games is when a seemingly antagonistic character has a golbat on their team and then later has it evolved into a crobat, which requires significant friendship, thus signalling that the character was always a kind person inside (plumeria), is growing past their issues and learning to be kinder (silver), may hold a spark of kindness that undermines their cold and calculating image (cyrus), etc etc
Meanwhile, Ghetsis—who is an antagonist who pretends to be an advocate for Pokemon rights—faces off against you with an under-leveled Hydreigon, which in the canon lore of the series only happens when someone forces evolution early, and that Hydreigon uses a full-power Frustration in B2W2, suggesting that it absolutely loathes Ghetsis.
For any non-pokemon players:
In pokemon games, there’s a hidden stat called friendship, which maxes out at 255 points; there are two (major) moves that are affected by this:
Return, which gets stronger the higher a pokemon’s friendship stat is, capping at 102 base power with 255 friendship (for context, hyper beam has a base power of 150)
And frustration, which does the opposite, getting stronger the lower a pokemon’s friendship stat is, capping out at 102 base power when the pokemon is at 0 friendship
The EXTRA fucked up thing is, almost NO pokemon has a base friendship of 0. The only pokemon that do are legendary pokemon and buneary. So Ghetsis actively lowered his Hydreigon’s friendship, and the only way to do that in-game is to let your pokemon faint often without using healing items on them
In other words Ghetsis is a major cunt
wh
what’s up with buneary???
Buneary fucking hates you by default. It’s also another friendship-dependent evolution line.
for others who are clueless in the poking men, this is the tiny bunny that fucking hates you
attack of the clones leaves plausible room to theorize that there’s a raging death stick addiction epidemic going on in the jedi temple, and by “plausible room” i mean that i personally can overthink star wars faster than a hummingbird can beat its wings
in attack of the clones, obi-wan is approached by a drug dealer in a bar, and is offered death sticks for purchase. this immediately after anakin (the least helpful individual in space) helpfully shouts JEDI BUSINESS, BACK TO YOUR DRINKS and obi-wan is wearing distinctive jedi robes and is carrying a lightsaber, which even a slave kid (anakin, when he was more helpful) from the rural portion of the galaxy could recognize.
factor to note: the jedi are here in an enforcement capacity, they are actively chasing a criminal. the jedi clearly have the legal capacity to operate as law enforcement, although i doubt they operate as local coruscant law enforcement. but they are still quite literally government contracted law enforcement wizard monks, and death sticks are implied to be an illegal substance, and given the context of the bar, we can assume they’re a party drug.
drug dealers do not typically go “would you like to buy drugs” to random people, especially people very obviously in uniform, carrying a weapon, here (which everyone knows, thanks to anakin) on official business. official business that involves law enforcement, because that is obi-wan’s job, he is literally stopping a hired assassin. so what we can assume is that this guy is either really dumb, really high, both, or that he has an active market of jedi who buy death sticks from him, and that market is so stable he is bold enough to walk up to random jedi #5 and offer him illegal drugs. hence, there might be a solid number of jedi doing death sticks.
factor to note: it’s mentioned in the prequels that the force was growing darker, more clouded and more hostile for the jedi to use. in legends, it’s said that death sticks could hamper a user’s ability to touch the force, so you could connect the two and say that death stick usage spiked because the force had really, really awful vibes suddenly. and then you send THAT vulnerable population, where they become MORE vulnerable.i can wring all of this out of a one-off gag scene, you have no idea what kind of insane thoughts about star wars i can make up.
I really think Rasputin lucked out, in that being remembered by history as some species of giant unkillable sex wizard is something most of us can only fruitlessly aspire to.
He didn’t luck out, he worked hard for that rep
he really didn’t though
he was just kind of a garden-variety creep, but the rumor mill did all the work for him and now he’s a banger disco song
to be fair, neither could Rasputin. Alexei very much continued to have haemophilia.
isn’t the current theory that he seemed to heal faster and have more spoons when Rasputin was around because Rasputin wouldn’t let the doctors give him aspirin, a blood thinner?
Ra Ra Rasputin Russia’s wellness scamming fiend
Fun fact: the conspirator who’d been made responsible for preparing the poison for Rasputin, Stanislaus de Lazovert, was a medical intern who’d studied under the exact same doctor who kept trying to treat Tsarevich Alexei’s hemophilia with aspirin.
Like, I feel like this should be taken into account when evaluating reports of Rasputin’s miraculous immunity to poison.
Did the guy who shot him also study under that doctor?
No, Felix Yusupov was just a useless nerd who thought he knew how murder worked because he’d read a book.
Based on the available historical evidence, the most likely sequence of events is as follows:
The conspirators attempt to kill Rasputin with poison-laced cakes, but fail; it’s unknown whether this is because de Lazovert fucked up the poison, because Rasputin – who had a well-known dislike of sweets – didn’t go in on the cakes as heavily as they expected, or just because a poisoned cake is a really stupid idea.
Seeing that the poison has failed, Yusupov gets Rasputin alone for a moment and shoots him once in the chest, causing him to fall senseless to the floor. Because he’s a useless nerd who thinks he knows how murder works because he read a book, Yusupov is unaware that a single handgun shot is very unlikely to be immediately fatal, and neglects to finish Rasputin off, instead leaving the room to confer with his fellow conspirators.
When the conspirators return to retrieve Rasputin’s body, he recovers from the shock of the initial gunshot and attacks them. Following some general panic, a third conspirator, Vladimir Purishkevich, opens up guns blazing; Purishkevich manages to miss several times in spite of being at point-blank range, but eventually strikes Rasputin in the head, killing him instantly.
The conspirators beat the shit out of Rasputin’s body just to be sure, then proceed to make a complete clownshow out of disposing of the corpse; the remainder of Rasputin’s injuries are sustained postmortem.
Pretty much everything else about Rasputin’s miraculous invincibility is invented whole cloth, much of it by Yusupov himself in order to build himself up in his own published memoirs.
(As icing on the incompetently poisoned cake, elements of Yusupov’s memoirs were later incorporated into the 1932 film Rasputin and the Empress, which led to Yusupov suing MGM Studios for libel because the film strongly implies that Rasputin was fucking Yusupov’s wife. The precedent set by that lawsuit is the reason those “similarities to any real person living or dead are coincidental” disclaimers exist.)
bothprimandkylo hit milestones recently, and i didn’t want to do a joint giveaway; i do giveaways pretty much every other day, and i’m so grateful to all of you guys for helping me reach this milestone that i wanted to do something else to thank you. so here it is: the five major rules i always remember when thememaking! please remember, these are only things that i’ve made up after making themes for a long time. there are, i’m sure, many other ways to achieve your desired theme, but hopefully this’ll help you out!!this tutorial is customized to cs6.
IT IS VERY LINK-HEAVY. CLICK AND DRAG THE LINK TO THE TABS BAR TO OPEN IT IN A NEW LINK.
first of all, here is a resource tutorial filled with my favorite patterns, textures, etc. if you have issues with it, let me know. it’s a little under 200mb, but i can take a couple textures and things out for you if you can’t download it.
RULE 1: RESOLUTION. i’m probably going to say that there are a million important things in these next few paragraphs, but i really mean it when i say that resolution is THE most important. if you don’t pay attention and don’t make it a habit to set your resolution ALL THE TIME, you’ll just end up with frustration.
you may have made a theme before, had it sharp while you were working in photoshop, only for you to save it, publish it to the web for use, and then find that it’s blurry. the reason for this is a low resolution.
[ x]LOW-RESOLUTION. you must make it a habit whenever you open a new document to set the resolution to something higher. i sometimes set my resolution to 400, usually 500.
RULE 2: COMPOSITION. composition is honestly one of the most important parts of making themes for me. what it is is the way everything flows together; the way you force the viewer’s eye to move. you don’t want everything to be floating in empty space. rather, you want everything, from your textures to your images, to seem in perfect harmony. this can be done by choosing an image and deciding what the best way to flow the eye is. here are some examples (of course, these are only the ones i tend to use religiously):
RULE 3: ADJUSTMENT LAYERS. okay, adjustment layers are so, soimportant. what they do is they let you adjust the general color balance, curves, brightness, contrast, hue, saturation. i usually have at least. 4-5 adjustment layers in my themeshereis a tutorial on using adjustment layers.
personally, i use curves, hue/saturation, vibrance, and threshold (a really underrated one imo) the most. i alwaysbegin with a curves layer. you can mess around with curves a bit to get the effect you want!!they’re great for creating contrast, shadows, highlights, etc. you can also erase certain parts of adjustment layers; pull up the eraser tool, select the white box on the adjustment layer (this is the LAYER MASK), and erase as needed. drag adjustment layers above and below layers. as you photoshop more and more often, you become more familiar with adjustment layers and the way you like working with them.
RULE 4: BLEND MODES. as you have likely guessed from the title, blend modes blend. not blend as in smudge (that would be the smudge tool), but blend as in help everything come together. usually almost every layer i have, besides adjustment layers, have blend modes. through blend modes, you can turn the same image into two nearly different images. the ones i use the most often are color dodge and soft light. it is also how i add texture to post boxes (i usually set the rectangle to soft light).
RULE 5: TEXTURES. you always want to use textures. you can put textures above, behind, next to, etc. images. the trick to using textures is to using a mix of subtle and strong, and experimenting with BLEND MODES to make them look the way you want. if EDGESof your texture still show, use a big, fluffy eraser to erase the edges. remember: even if a texture seems useless, experiment with it. it might end up making your theme.
okay, well that’s all i have for all of you! again, this is just my method of making themes. i really hope that this helped a little, and if you have any questions, i’m always open to answering them. as usual, please like/reblog if this helped you at all, and if you made a theme with any of this chickenscratch, link me to it! i’d love to see what you guys do. have a great day, everyone~ =)
Grantaire eyed Enjolras as he gathered their empty popcorn bucket and drinks. “So what did you think?”
Enjolras didn’t look up. “Are the fanboys cleared out?” he asked wryly. “I don’t want to start an altercation.”
“Since when?” Enjolras laughed and Grantaire smiled before saying, “I’ll take it you didn’t like it.”
Enjolras made a face as he stood, waiting for Grantaire to exit the movie theater aisle first before following after him. “Well, when it comes to the multiverse, it was no Everything Everywhere All at Once.”
Grantaire gave him a look over his shoulder. “Ok, but that’s like comparing My Cousin VinnytoThe Godfather.”
“My Cousin Vinny isn’t even a mob movie!” Enjolras protested, throwing their trash in the garbage can. “It just happens to feature Italian Americans.”
“Yeah and Dr. Strange isn’t a movie about intergenerational trauma, now is it?”
Grantaire gave Enjolras a pointed look and Enjolras rolled his eyes, even though he was laughing again. “Touché.”
Together they walked towards the theater exit, and Grantaire glanced sideways at Enjolras. “So you really didn’t like it?”
Enjolras sighed. “You know that I only come to see Marvel movies with you so that I understand the references you make as nauseam, right?”
“Which is in and of itself a strange way to show love, but an appreciated one,” Grantaire said, nodding. He really hadn’t expected anything different. Pretty much the only Marvel movie Enjolras had ever expressed interest in was Black Panther, though even then his interest had waned when he realized it featured very little about the actual Black Panther Party in the US. “What do you think about the multiverse?”
Enjolras frowned slightly as he looked at Grantaire. “What about the multiverse?”
“Do you believe in it?”
Enjolras arched an eyebrow. “Do you mean do I think that there are multiple universes in which we exist simultaneously, some differing only minutely and some where we have hot dogs for hands?”
Grantaire half-smiled at the reference to one of his personal favorite universes from Everything Everywhere All at Once. “Something like that.”
For a long moment, Enjolras was quiet. “I find it interesting that you’re asking me if I believe in something,” he said finally.
“Just because I’m asking doesn’t mean that I do,” Grantaire said. “And you’re deflecting.”
Enjolras smiled, but it was short-lived, his smile fading slightly as he shook his head. “The truth is, I don’t know what I believe. But I’d like to think that if there was a multiverse, it’d be more like Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. Less an exact replica of myself in every universe and more a mantle of the work I do that someone always shoulders.”
Grantaire snorted. “Are you seriously comparing your activism work to being a superhero?”
“Am I wrong?” Enjolras asked, a dangerous edge to his voice.
Grantaire held his hands up defensively. “I plead the Fifth.”
“Good boy.” Enjolras hesitated before asking, “What about you? What do you believe?”
Grantaire shrugged. “I dunno,” he said. “But I have to admit, the thought of there being a me that loves a version of you in every universe gives me a strange sort of comfort.”
Enjolras looked startled. “You think you would love me in every universe?”
“I know that I would love you in every universe,” Grantaire corrected.
Enjolras looked at him closely for a moment before asking with a small, half-smile, “Even the one with the hot dog hands?”
“Especially the one with the hot dog hands.”
Enjolras just shook his head. “You’re a freak,” he said affectionately.
Grantaire nudged him with his elbow. “Yeah but you like it.”
Enjolras shook his head fondly. “So you know that you would love me in every universe…do you think I would also love you in every universe?”
“Of course not,” Grantaire said evenly.
Enjolras stopped walking, his brow furrowed. “And that doesn’t bother you?”
“Why would it?” Grantaire asked. “I don’t need you to love me back to feel like I’m where I’m meant to be.” Enjolras shook his head but Grantaire didn’t let him interrupt. “When I met you, my entire life fell into place, and that wouldn’t have changed if you never went out with me.”
Though Enjolras’s expression softened, he still didn’t look convinced. “I guess that’s fair,” he allowed. “But it makes me a little sad, thinking there’s a me out there somewhere going through his life without loving you.”
Grantaire leaned in to kiss his cheek before telling him, “Yeah but think about it this way: if there are infinite universes, then there is infinite possibility, and infinite chances for us. And that’s not a bad thing.”
Enjolras nodded slowly. “No, it’s not.”
“Even if we have hot dog hands in one of those universes.”
Enjolras rolled his eyes, but he was smiling again. “Even then,” he agreed.
“Besides, we have each other here, in this universe, and that’s enough for me,” Grantaire said simply. “Even if in every other universe, we never figure it out in time, we’ll always have this universe.”
Enjolras smiled and laced their fingers together, raising Grantaire’s hand to his lips to kiss his knuckles. “And that’s all that matters.”
Pretty much the only Marvel movie Enjolras had ever expressed interest in was Black Panther, though even then his interest had waned when he realized it featured very little about the actual Black Panther Party in the US.
NO BUT HE WOULD
this was so precious and adorable and your writing is a gift in every universe <3
I’ve seen a lot of posts recently reminding readers to leave feedback on fics, which is great!! Writers deserve all the love they can get. Likes, reblogs, comments, messages, these are the lifeblood of writers. They are proof that people are reading, that they’re enjoying, and that they want more.
But maybe readers don’t know what to say. Maybe you’re new to Tumblr, new to reading fan fiction, shy, or just not sure how to say what you want to say.
Let me start by saying, no matter how popular the blog or how cool you think they are, everyone loves a compliment. If you’re worried about sounding silly or bothering people, let me assure you- a message will make your writer do a happy dance (depending on the writer, they mayactually get up and dance. I have.)
Here’s the basic ways of communicating with writers on Tumblr:
Likes and kudos- these are great, they’re the high-fives in this world. They’re the “hey, nice” nod. Reblogs- even better, because they mean exposure. More people see the story and that makes us really happy. A reblog with a comment isamazing, especially one that entices others to read. These make a writer’s day. Comments and messages- these are the thing that keeps us going. Most of us have anon turned on- and if we don’t, just let us know you want a private reply. (And, if your writer has anon off, it probably means they’ve been getting hate and deserve extra love.) Recommendations- recs are like coming in to work to find someone baked your favorite cake and left it on your desk. Recommendations make your writer feel so loved and valued!
So, that’s all good, but what do you actually SAY to writers? It doesn’t have to be much or take a lot of time.
A simple “This is great/funny/hot!” is wonderful. "Best fic I’ve read this week!“ "Funny as hell and cute too.” "You have to read this, it’s awesome!“ "I can’t wait for more of this.” "I hope you keep going!“ These are great in reblogs and in messages.
Even better is specific feedback. Welove specific feedback, because it tells us what readers liked and what they didn’t. Want to influence our next fic? Tell us what you liked about this one and I bet you it will keep showing up! Specific feedback is just telling the writer what you liked. It doesn’t have to be long or complicated, either. (But if you write a lot, we will love you so much.)
Was there a character you liked? Talk about them: "I love how you wrote X” “Y was so funny!” "OMG I wanted to STRANGLE Q!“ "You can really feel X’s frustration.” "Y has so much depth, they’re a really well-rounded character.“ "R says so much with so few words, it’s amazing.”
What about a part or line you enjoyed? "That bit in the park- LOVE IT.“ "I have never read a better description of a cup of tea.” "The way you wrote about his fear, that was heartbreaking.“
Was there a part that made you feel something? Happy, sad, angry? "That last sentence killed me, he’s so broken.” "I wanted to jump around when they finally kissed!“ "This chapter was so tense, my heart was pounding by the end.”
Did the characters or plot or setting remind you of your life? "I live in Brussels, that’s just how that street looks.“ "When Y talked about R, I knew exactly how he felt.” "You captured that lost, aimless feeling perfectly; I’ve so been there.“
Are there unanswered questions? Mention how much you want the answers. "I can’t wait to find out what’s in the basket!” "That was a cliffhanger ending, wow.“ "How is she going to explain THAT?” (some writers are touchy about predicting, though, so stay away from “I bet he’ll throw that letter out.” or “X is clearly coming back.”)
A few closing notes: be enthusiastic if that’s your style, go crazy with exclamation marks, smileys, caps! Tell a writer if you’re rereading their work- very little makes us happier than knowing our writing has the staying power for a second, third, sixth, tenth read. Did a reread give you a new insight or feeling about the fic? Tell us! We will be so excited to hear. And remember, recommendations are wonderful- putting up a random post tagging your favorite writers or fics you’re enjoying will show the writers that they’re writing is more than a flash in the opan and they’ll get some new readers too!
We can’t do this writing thing without you guys. So thank you so much! Without readers, we’re just talking to ourselves. We love and appreciate you for reading- but we need to know you’re doing it. We need feedback like we need air. Don’t let your favorite writers suffocate! :)
I’m going to get personal for a moment here because there’s something that’s been weighing on my mind with the pending criminalization of abortion, and that’s a lot of conservative folks saying that they would make ‘allowances’ for abortion in cases of rape and incest.
Here’s my problem with that: who determines if folks with uteruses are raped?
Is it enough if they report it to the police? Per RAINN, only about 1 in 3 sexual assaults are reported. Does their rapist have to be found guilty? Less than 3% of sexual assaults result in a felony conviction.
Let’s say we go with the first option, that a sexual assault victim merely needs to make a police report, like someone trying to get their car insurance to cover a hit and run accident. How soon after the assault do they need to report? Do they need to have a rape kit done? What if they wait to report until past the point when a rape kit is helpful? And what happens if, when they go to report, they get told that what happened to them wasn’t rape, or are strongly encouraged by the police not to file a report and “ruin” their attackers life?
I know this is a lot of hypotheticals, so I want to make it more real, and share my rape story.
Ten years ago, I was at a party. I was drinking, pretty heavily, and a friend of a friend who I had met a few times offered to walk me home. He told me, and everyone, that he was sober, so he’d look out for me. When we got back to my place, he asked to come in for a drink. I didn’t say no. He started kissing me. I didn’t say no. The evening gets a little blurry at this point, but at some point, we had sex.
Now, I’ve had one night stands before. I’ve had drunken sex before. When I woke up the next morning, something about that encounter felt very different. Maybe it was the fact that he was sober and I wasn’t. Maybe it was that he leveraged walking me home as an excuse to lead to sex. All I know is that I didn’t feel good about the encounter, but I was hesitant to call it rape.
I disclosed to our mutual friend a little later that week, desperate to gauge whether I was crazy, or if this was something I should report. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, “Sounds like you had a little too much fun.”
Over the years I go back and forth on blaming her, or wishing she’d reacted differently, or telling myself that she wasn’t trained to deal with this kind of thing, and I’ve never landed on a satisfactory conclusion. But the fact is, her saying what she did told me not to say anything. Whatever happened was my fault. So I kept my mouth shut, and kept my head down.
About three weeks later, I was invited to a different party. I asked who was invited. I asked, specifically, if the man in question would be there. I was told he would not be.
When I arrived, the first person I saw was him, and my heart dropped to my knees. Should I have left at that point? Probably. But it was the end of the semester, we were celebrating, and I didn’t want to miss spending time with my friends who were about to graduate. So I grabbed a different friend and told her not to let me leave with anyone. She promised she would.
I tried to have a good time but I was nervous, and out of sorts. To help myself get into a party mood, I drank, a lot, and I did a lot of drugs that night. By the time the party was almost over, my friend had already left, and I could barely stand, let alone walk.
You may have guessed what happened next. The man in question said he would get me home. The last thing I remember from that night was being pushed against the wall of my apartment building as he dug in my purse for my keys. I remember telling him no, and to leave me alone.
Then I woke up the next morning naked with his cum drying on the inside of my thigh.
I didn’t report what happened to me to the police. Why? Because I wasn’t a perfect victim. I was drunk, and high, and had had sex with this man before. No one would believe me. So I showered, and I scrubbed my apartment with bleach, and for almost 5 years I didn’t say a word about what happened to me until a friend disclosed a similar situation, and I held her hand, and I said, “Me too.”
Now, I was lucky, because my rape(s) didn’t result in a pregnancy. But they could have. I was on the pill back then but I was in the process of finishing up the semester and getting ready to move so I wasn’t taking it consistently. And I was so traumatized and full of self-blame that I wasn’t ready to report it to the police, let alone to admit to myself what had happened to me. So if I had gotten pregnant, and had needed an abortion that was criminalized except for rape, what then? Would me saying that it was rape (something I wasn’t mentally in a place to do) be enough? Or would the fact that my trauma didn’t allow me to go to the police be held against me?
I already know the answer to that, and anyone who’s paid even a smidgeon of attention to our criminal justice system also knows.
So I just want folks to keep that in mind, because as we get closer to the SCOTUS decision, and especially as we get closer to the election in the fall, you’re going to see a lot of conservatives trot out that talking point, that they’d allow abortion in the case of rape. Or even, in blue/purple states, tout it as a moderate position. And I think that a lot of folks on both ends of the spectrum are going to let that talking point go unquestioned and unchallenged.
But it’s just another way of stripping control of their own healthcare from folks with uteruses. When the folks who are stripping the right to an abortion away are the same ones who get to decide what is and isn’t rape, it’s just control in a different, more palatable package.
And there’s absolutely nothing moderate about that.
