this one is really important to me, especially lately.
i’m 5+ years recovered from an eating disorder (i went to treatment for 9 months inpatient and went outpatient for a really long time after. i still see my dietitian periodically to check in for accountability) and i still wrestle at times with body image from internalized messages (not referring to the gender dysphoria here), so i have to remind myself to thought-check before i body-check.
i’ve thankfully gotten much more adept at reminding myself that instead of seeing parts of my body (i.e. stomach, legs, arms - things that i was always judged/shamed for) under a microscopic lens of “too this/too that,” i can remind myself of what they do for me. my arms hold cats and work magick in my practice; they help me cook and steady myself as i ride my bike. my stomach protects my inner organs; it’s got skin just like my feet do. my legs hold me up and help me walk and run through sprinklers; even on the days i can’t walk so well, i know they’re trying.
i like the thought-work of reframing much better for my own self than i do the body positive movement, because to me, this reframing work says ’accept your body.’ and to me, acceptance IS the first step towards loving your body—because the absence of hatred is not the immediate presence of love and can lead to a lot of discouragement right off the bat if one thinks it does and it doesn’t work (i know it did for me).
so on my way out of a mindset of self-hatred, be it hatred towards my body because of messages i’ve internalized and adopted as my own or towards my ideas or towards my dreams, i have learned that i can not logically make the jump immediately from “i hate myself/my ideas/my body” to “i love myself/my ideas/my body” right away. instead, i have moved towards that direction through the phases of “i hate myself” working hard towards “i accept myself” towards “i am okay with myself” and it is getting me much much closer towards “i love myself.”
and of course there’s a lot of good to say about affirmations - i definitely say some of those as well, i’m not dissing those or the body positive movement. i’m just stating what’s worked best for me (and actually many friends from treatment that i am still in touch with) that i see as less-viewed but i think has great benefit. bottom line, i just really resonated with this lousy drawing today. i’ve been reflecting on my progress a lot lately and i simply love this one in particular <3
