#maximoff family
my mind all day everyday.
So I painted Wanda on topic, please get therapy
Erik: where are you going?
Tommy, with billy: were gonna overthrow the government
Erik: oh have fun
Lorna: I’m here to offer some friendly advice
Wanda: I don’t need your advice right now.
Lorna: well then consider it unfriendly advice you jerk
Erik: what did I say about calling your sister the devil.
Lorna: ….that it’s offensive to the devil?
Lorna, sighing: sooo… who broke the coffee Machine? I’m not mad, I just want to know.
(Silence)
Wanda: I did it. I broke it.
Lorna: no, Wanda. You didn’t. Tommy?
Tommy: Dont look at me! Look at Luna!
Luna: what?! I didn’t break it!
Tommy: oh that’s weird how did you know it was broken? Hm?
Luna: because it’s sitting in front of us… and it’s broken??
Tommy: suspicious.
Luna: no… it’s not..?
Erik: if it matters… probably not… but Pietro was the last one to use it.
Pietro: liar! I don’t even drink that crap!
Erik: oh really? Then what were you doing by it earlier?
Pietro: I use the little wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles, everyone knows that!!
Wanda: okay lets not fight haha. I broke it. Let me replace it.
Lorna: no. Who broke it?!
Tommy: lorna.. Billy’s been awfully quiet.
Billy: really?!
(Everyone arguing)
Lorna, in another room: I broke it. It burned my hand, so I punched it. I predict that 10 minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with war paint on their faces and pig heads on sticks. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
Tommy: I don’t mind dying early, as long as I’m taller than billy
Billy:….I-
Erik: what do you guys say when you answer the phone?
Wanda: hello?
Lorna: who the fuck is this?
Pietro: oh no he’s in jail this is his son.
“Dear Journal, something strange happened yesterday. I felt something below the neck. Dare I admit it? I have feelings for one Remy LeBeau. Sexy, non-murdering feelings. It all makes sense now, Journal. True love always springs from true hate. I’ll admit in the past I’ve fantasized about waking up with Gambit’s head on the pillow next to me, except now I picture it attached to the rest of his body.”
-Pietro Maximoff
Pietro: I’m so happy.
Wanda: you don’t look happy..
Pietro I don’t smile a lot, and lately when I do, it hurts. But trust me, I’m happy.
Wanda: yeah so anybody wanna explain why there’s a cow in the living room?
Billy: last night I wanted milk but there wasn’t any so I panicked-
Lorna: it’s ok everyone’s afraid of something.
Luna: even you?
Lorna: no.
Billy: tommy! What the hell?!
Tommy: new phone who dis
Billy: you can’t do that in person
Erik: what makes you think I’m upset?!
Billy: the giant hole in the wall??
Wanda: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.
Billy: This is the most hopeful thing I’ve ever heard.
Pietro: What if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?
Tommy: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day
Billy: Get out.
The twins and Lorna: *arguing*
Erik: *slams arm on table* WE ARE IN A GODDAMN IHOP! ACT LIKE IT!
Billy: Does mom dream in English or Romani?
Lorna: bold of you to assume Wanda sleeps.
Computer: please set your password
Erik: *Puts it Magneto*
Computer: password is too weak
Erik, flinging the computer into the wall: how DARE YOU
Pietro: I love you I will do anything for you. You want the moon? Got it.
Remy: I want you to eat 3 meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.
Pietro: No.
Billy, jumping onto the table: so I heard your into rebels!
Teddy:…no?
Billy, climbing off the table: oh thank god that was awful
ErIk: I have the sharpest memory, name one time I forgot something.
Pietro: you left me in the parking lot last week.
Erik: I did that on purpose-
Luna: what’s an orgasm?
Pietro: WHERE DID YOU-
Billy: it’s like when you fold birds and animals out of paper
Tommy: no that’s an oregano you idiot
Pietro: StOP
There’s more
So I have a thing for roblox memes
Tommy: good news, I’ve got tacos!
Tommy: bad news is Billy’s in the ER…
Tommy: even better news, the tacos were free!
Tommy: hey uncle pete, I need some dating advice
Pietro: just because I’m dating Remy doesn’t mean I know how I did it
Tommy: can I go to the washroom
Teacher: it’s “May”
Tommy:…….. it’s February
Erik: your stupid.
Pietro:…. that’s it?
Erik: give it time it’ll eat at you.
——— Literally not even that long later ———
Pietro: lorna am I stupid?
Lorna: yeah a little bit.
“There was a strict “no pets” rule when I was younger. Funnily enough that didn’t include old Dad’s high horse, which made regular appearances.” — Lorna Dane
Wanda: I just want to hear those words. Those three words.
Tommy: I love you
Wanda: that’s sweet but try again
Tommy: I will behave.
Wanda: thank you.
Okay but with all the theorizing about Magento being the cameo and him coming to rescue Peter you have to remember that Erik doesn’t actually know that Peter is his son because Peter never told him. Which means that we would need some sort of absolutely hilarious conversation between Erik and Charles like
Charles: So Peter accidentally got pulled into a different universe by his alternate self’s twin sister whos having a slight psychotic break…
Erik: …What the fuck…
Charles: Yeah it’s a bit of a complicated situation.
Erik: I mean yeah clearly but why the fuck are you telling me this? Go send one of your little X-men to rescue him or something.
Charles: Well the thing is his alternate self’s sister is incredibley strong like, close to Phoenix Force strong, so you’re probably our best bet. Also uhm… *mumbles* hesmaybekindofpossiblyyourson.
Erik: Sorry I didn’t quite catch that last bit.
Charles: … he’s… your son…
Erik: … … … WHAT?!
Charles: Yeah… also becuase he’s your son that means that in a way his alternate self’s twin sister, the one that’s having a psychotic break and accidentally pulling people through the multiverse, is kind of your daughter too so… have fun.
Erik: I hate you.
Charles: Love you too.
