#menelaus
menelaus: what are you doing tonight?
diomedes: more like WHO am i doing
menelaus:
diomedes: no one. i’m free. what’s up?
A wall fresco of Paris abducting Helen by force, in a villa in Venice (Italy, mid-1700s).
Paris was asked to judge a beauty contest between Hera, Aphrodite and Athena. Each tried to bribe him, and he chose Aphrodite, because she promised him the most beautiful woman in the world – Helen of Sparta.
Helen was married to King Menelaus of Sparta, which Aphrodite hadn’t actually told Paris. He broke into Menelaus’ house to steal her from him. In some accounts, she fell in love with him and went willingly; in others, she was taken by force.
Helen was famous for her beauty, and Odysseus advised her father Tyndareus to make all her suitors promise to defend her marriage to the man he chose for her. Therefore, when Paris abducted Helen, Menelaus was able to call them to help him get her back. This started the Trojan War.
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we are living in a culture where you can be punished just for being related to the God Crime guy
my men think today is a good day to talk about how proteus has told us the means to pass over the teaming ocean and finish our journey back to Sparta. Wrong. Today we are honoring my Brother who just was killed in the bathtub
some people get punished by the gods for attacking their children or being incredibly messed up.. i get intentionally trapped at sea for doing things like “Organizing a siege that destroyed their temples”
if no one sees me for a month after i leave troy and can’t find the reason why, just assume i went to egypt and my wife and i planned some wacky heist
i think when we get caught up in honor and hubris, we forget to sit down and recognize that that whole war was just to help me reconcile with my wife
((worstfeeling suffering from from Apollo’s plague in the achaean encampment ,surrounded by warfare with no real doctors ))bestfeeling reuniting with my wife as a city burns to the ground around us
ME: id like to use my Trusty horses to do well in this chariot race,
Antilochus Son of Nestor: Im ready to run you over old man. Go on. Try to evade my chariot coming at you at incredible speeds
please help me athena, i have to go to the front lines of battle to retrieve Patroclus’ body and i have no martial prowess. please
me and all the other men on the battlefield are finding out that despite our cultivated strength the human body was not designed to get slammed into the trojan walls and thrown to the ground by the god apollo
breaking news: my brother has returned from battle & is being treated for a wound through the ribs. do NOT panic
Athena the War Tacticians War Tip #888853: if soldiers makes you fight to the death to determine if the war ends, have a soldier who shoots arrows at one guys Dick
it’s not good for this paris guy to come out here and say hes going to have sex with my wife after he is snatched away from our duel. i dont care if it was aphrodite’s decision to save him
i will drag you by the helmet kicking and screaming, for the sake of protecting my wife from horrendous kidnappers like yourself
A MERE Musing From A Troubled Husband, Strengthened Through Decades of combat: “Let him who shall die, die, and let the others fight no more”
This war is dedicated to the noble cause of returning my wife to sparta and securing access to the hellespont. If you are here looking for glory… “MAN ARE YOU IN THE WRONG PLACE!”
i hate to say it, Oh i hate to say it, but many of my fellow achaean soldiers think that “Quest for personal glory” is more important than my wife.
havent gotten any sleep since the danaan forces split off into like 3 separate factions because Achilles said Agamemnon was a sack of wine
(watching Achilles deliver some solid hits against Agamemnon in the assembly) I dont understand. Is he mad at him? Whats going on
