#myqueertestimony
Testimony by TAVARIS “TEDDY EBONY” EDWARDS, Age 23, Virginia
My name is Tavaris “Teddy Ebony” Edwards and I’m a gay black man. I’m a 23-year-old college student at Norfolk State University and Tidewater Community College .
I’m in the Spartan Legion Marching Band at Norfolk State as a Spartan Guard and I’m also involved in the LGBT organization “Legasi” at Norfolk State.
I grew up in the hood. When you’re staying in a rough neighborhood, you always gotta keep your guard up.
I’m the first openly gay person in my family. As a young boy, I was always feminine. I always liked boys. I had to hide it, because people expected me to be who I wasn’t. Before I came out, I was the captain of the football team. I was living a dream that everybody wanted me to live. I came out when I was sixteen. I guess I got tired of hiding who I really wanted to be.
School was always tough on me. I was always teased about being gay. I didn’t wanna be around that. So I just left. [In my family] nobody’s got their high school diploma. But me and my mom got our GEDs.
My mom was both my parents. … My dad died when I was two years old and my stepfather was sent to prison when I was seven so my mom did her best at raising me. Growing up gay and without a father was very hard for me. Because there’s nothing like the support of your dad.
When I turned 16 I accepted myself as being gay. It was very hard because I didn’t know if I would be accepted by my family, how friends would feel. But I couldn’t keep hiding who I was anymore. It was becoming too stressful. When people called me names like gay or faggie, I used to be so sad. Because I was more than just gay or a faggie. It really bothered me, though, because before I came out I was cool with everyone. I had gay tendencies but I was a funny, so I always had everyone laughing. … But the hardest thing about coming out was telling my mom. I knew it was gonna crush her. But she took it better than I thought. She still loved me as her son. So once I had her approval, being gay became easier because I didn’t care what others thought anymore. My mom knew, and that’s all that mattered.
I believe in God. I go to church. God had been blessing me so much. I want a baby. I may be gay, but I want a baby. I plan to get married one day. Hopefully I can get married to a man.
Being gay, that’s the easy part. I’m happy being gay. You have no choice but to accept being gay, baby, because if you stress about it, you’re gonna hurt yourself.
I’ve been in the ballroom scene for almost six years now and I can honestly say the ballroom scene made me who I am today. Six years ago I was a 17-year-old high school drop-out, always fighting, doing things I wasn’t supposed to be doing, trying to fit in and be somebody I wasn’t. As the years went past and I started to get older I realized there is so much out there in life. Like school, dancing, traveling, marching band. I started off by getting my GED in 2012 and joining my church, Enoch Baptist church, where I’m accepted for who I am.
One thing I can say [is that] over the years, being gay has changed completely. It’s more accepted and respected by some. Nowadays I see gays wear short shorts, girl shirts, tights, girl shoes and they walk around comfortable. Back in ’06, ’07, you would have been jumped or joked. Yes, that’s still around, but I don’t see to much of it anymore. I think that within the next five years being gay will be even more accepted. And I can’t wait to see it!
It’s gotten so much better over the years. It’s comfortable now. I walk through the hood like it’s nothing. Everybody knows me now. This is me. I’m gay and I accept that.
About:
Pulitzer Prize-winning photographer Preston Gannaway began documenting the life of Tavaris “Teddy Ebony” Edwards when they met during Pride week at Norfolk State University last year. Teddy is young gay man living in Chesapeake, Virginia, who came out at 16 years old and dropped out of school. Today he’s attending college part-time and hoping to better his life. The above piece is by Edwards, along with excerpts from interviews by Gannaway.
Published by TIME Lightbox, 7/18/13
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Testimony by QUEER YOUTH RADIO, California
Titled: “Youth Talk About Being Trans in Long Beach”
About:
Young people in Long Beach talk about what being transgender means to them and what type of support they would like to see in the community.
Clickhere to also check out Queer Youth Radio’s interview with Long Beach trans community activist, JACKIE VALDEZ.
’A HOUSE IS MY HOME’ - A House/Ballroom Community Investigation
Thursday, July 25th, 6-8:30pm, NYC
‘A House is My Home’ will bring together a panel of Ballroom members from multiple generations to explore the Ballroom scene’s understanding of family, community and what it means to create and provide a home.
The House/Ballroom Scene is a creative collective and kinship system established and sustained by Black and Latino/a transgender, lesbian, bisexual and gay individuals. While the modern ballroom scene was constituted almost 50 years ago, its roots are in the Harlem Renaissance and the strategies of survival and creative expression developed during slavery.
PANELISTS INCLUDE: The Pioneer Icon Junior Labeija, The Pioneer Icon Michael Dupree, The Icon Sean Ebony, The Legendary Mariah Lopez and The Up and Coming Janovia Garçon. MODERATED BY: Father Michael Roberson Garçon and Robert Sember.
Portraits from GERARD GASKIN’S 20+ years photographing the House/Ballroom scene will also be on view!
'A House is My Home’ is presented in partnership with the Queers in Exile: the Unforgotten Legacies of LGBTQ Homeless Youth exhibit, curated by Coalition for Queer Youth founder, Alexis Heller.
#QueersInExileExhibit explores the personal histories, creativity and activism of LGBTQ street-involved youth from the Stonewall riots of 1969 to today.
At:
Leslie-Lohman Museum of Gay and Lesbian Art
Through July 28th. The museum is open Tuesday-Sunday, 12-6pm.
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AboutVogue'ology:
In 2009, members of the Ballroom community and the sound-art collective, Ultra-red, initiated Vogue’ology, a collaborative project that builds on the Ballroom scene’s long history of self-organized creative innovation and struggle against transphobia, homophobia, gender oppression and health and other disparities. Vogue'ology includes the Arbert Santana Ballroom Archive and Oral History Project and has organized numerous exhibitions, panels, workshops and presentations in the U.S. and internationally. The initiative has also offered classes at The New School’s Eugene Lang College.
AboutDestination Tomorrow:
Founded by Sean Ebony Coleman, Destination Tomorrow is a grassroots organization providing services to the large community of LGBTQ residents in the South Bronx. Founded in 2008, Destination Tomorrow has been dedicated to offering culturally competent support to the underserved transmale population, House/Ballroom scene and all queer youth ages 13-25, through groups, counseling, HIV/AIDS testing and prevention campaigns, as well as advocacy efforts at the state and local level. For more information visit www.destinationtomorrow.org.
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“LGBT Homeless Youth Documented in ‘Queers in Exile’ at the Leslie-Lohman Museum”
Published by The Huffington Post, 7/16/13
An exhibition entitled “Queers in Exile: the Unforgotten Legacies of LGBTQ Homeless Youth” will provide a historical narrative and abundance of images to the long-silenced tale of homeless queer youth.
The exhibition, curated by Alexis Heller, will illuminate the untold street stories from 1969’s Stonewall riots to present day, revealing years of persecution, determination and hope. From pop master Andy Warhol to LGBTQ documentary photographer Samantha Box, the selected artists capture the all too invisible generations of survivors, creators and revolutionaries who call the streets their home.
The show takes its name from Sylvia Rivera’s essay “Queens in Exile, The Forgotten Ones,” which demands respect and change for LGBTQ communities. In the spirit of Rivera’s essay, the Leslie Lohman Museum explains how their exhibition does not just seek to revisit the past but change the present and what is to come.
“It is a view of history told by those who live/lived it within a community often silenced and ignored, but the vision goes beyond visibility. It is about collective memory and conscience, and repositioning queer homeless young people from 'other’ to 'our own’… It offers homeless youth a place by grounding them within an empowered history and lineage, honors their struggle, and reflects that they matter.”
“Queers in Exile” runs from July 18 – July 28, 2013 at the Leslie Lohman Museum of Gay and Lesbian Art in New York.
Clickherefor Full Article and Slideshow
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Submitted by GIANNI, Age 21, New York
Poem
My friends and family
please forgive me
this is just not where my home is
Against the procured stigmas
I promise I’m strong enough to be
androgynous;
Into the night I’m chasing my destiny
Soon if I’m not dead
I’ll be famous
About:
After leaving Minneapolis on his own, Gianni wrote this piece on the bus, as he was about to enter New York City for the first time. Currently staying at a queer youth shelter, Gianni submitted this work for inclusion in the Queers in Exile: the Unforgotten Legacies of LGBTQ Homeless Youthexhibit, opening July 17th.
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OPENING SOON! New York City: JULY 17-28, 2013
Looking to Sylvia Rivera’s ‘Queens in Exile, the Forgotten Ones’ as a blueprint, the exhibition explores the powerful personal histories, creativity and activism of LGBTQ street-involved youth from Stonewall to today. Through oral history, photography, archival footage and submitted pieces, the show engages the voices of Sylvia Rivera, Marsha P. Johnson, San Francisco’s Vanguard youth, young people at Larkin Street Services and Sylvia’s Place, the House/Ballroom community and more in an intergenerational conversation that reflects the incredible resilience and important contributions of queer homeless and transitional young people.
#QueersInExileExhibit
*If you can’t make the show or museums just aren’t your thang, the curator partnered with Whose Streets, Our Streets, a website and smart-phone enabled tour highlighting sites of queer resistance in NYC, to create an exhibition feature that allows people to connect with spaces of LGBTQ homeless youth history from the show, outside of the museum! Launching at the start of the exhibition. Check it out!
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Testimony by MANUEL A. ACEVEDO, California
About:
Born and raised in Pico Rivera, Manuel A. Acevedo started doodling in junior high school at the age of 13. Back then, he mainly drew celebrities, people in magazines, and cartoon characters. At the age of 17, however, after graduating from high school, Acevedo started to explore the gay community in West Hollywood. “For the first time I started to meet a lot of gay people who were out. This had a big influence on me and it was also during this time that I more openly explored my own sexuality.”
Coming out at such a young age wasn’t easy, especially in a Latino, catcholic family. Like many queer youth, Manuel was initially alienated and disowned by his parents because of his sexual orientation. Forced to leave home, he wandered from friend’s house to friend’s house, until he eventually moved to San Diego. It wasn’t until a few years later that he returned to Los Angeles, where his family came to terms with accepting him and he was able to reunite with them.
It was at the Academy of Arts at the University of San Francisco that Acevedo began to draw the male body and in particular gay portraits. “I wanted more of a personal connection to my art work, something that was a part of me. I wanted to draw people who were like me and who weren’t ashamed to show their sexuality. It’s something that can and should be shown in art. Growing up I always had to repress that.”
Since completing the Academy of Arts, Acevedo has been steadily developing his portfolio. His ink-scratching masterpieces are distinctive, bringing into the limelight images of hard-looking homeboys locked in passionate kisses, gay eroticism, and the male body as sexual-political-visual poetry. Acevedo, however, sees his work differently. “My work, I don’t necessarily see it as sexual or sensual. I see it as proud portraiture. Iconography—creating icons of portraits. It’s kind of like when you go to church and see the Virgin Mary. She’s an icon. My work isn’t religious though. It’s representative of my friends and the people in my life. But I guess there’s a type of worshipping, an appreciation of them.”
excerpt from La Bloga, 2/20/11
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Testimony by VIVIAN TAYLOR, Boston, MA
A month or two after I started living full time out as woman, one of my friends suggested I talk to an acquaintance of his, an older trans woman who had been out for years.
My friend thought his acquaintance might be able to give me some tips on surviving as a trans woman. I was thrilled. Here, I though, was someone who had the answers. Surely she would be able to point me in the right direction. We had arranged to meet in a coffee shop. In my excitement I arrived an hour early. It was going to be awesome.
What actually happened was that she showed up and asked why I wasn’t dressed like a woman. I was wearing skinny jeans, a studded belt, and an ironic t-shirt. I liked how I looked. I looked, in my opinion, like a queer woman in her mid-twenties on her day off, which, shockingly, I was.
But no, I was informed, I wasn’t being a woman right.
She was neither the first nor the last person to inform me that I’m doing it wrong. There was I woman I met soon after moving back up to Boston in 2011. She had transitioned in her teens and most folks wouldn’t know she was trans unless she wanted to tell them. She had a real heart for women who were just starting transition, but she had expectations for those people. She couldn’t stand ‘bricks.’ She explained that bricks were women who looked “like a man in a dress.” A cinderblock was even worse. A trans guy who was too femme was feathery.
I’ve been told that if I’d only start pitching my voice up, or stop wearing pants, or start wearing make up, I could totally pass, that no one would have to know the shameful secret that I’m a trans person.
There’s another side too. In college I asked the instructor of a Women’s Studies course I took if she could recommend any reading on trans issues. She suggested Sheila Jeffreys’ 2005 book 'Beauty and Misogyny,’ which contains a delightful chapter in which Jeffreys uses pornography depicting young trans women of color to explain why there’s no such thing as trans and how trans women(no mention of trans men or non-binary folks for some reason) are actually evil, essentially pornographic simulacra reinforcing harmful gender tropes.
It’s a great double bind. If you present in a traditionally feminine way, you’re just being a misogynistic parody of a woman, and if you fail to present in a traditionally feminine way, well ha! There’s the proof that you’re not really a woman right there.
And even if you are “really a woman,” that might not be enough. At a Christmas party last December a Smith alumna defended Smith’s decision not to accept trans feminine students by explaining that even if trans women were women, they had still been socialized as boys and men, and that Smith, as a safe space for women and trans men, had a right to defend their students from such people, from the inexorcisable specter of their privilege.
I know women who identify as “heterosexual with a transgender history.” They’re trying so hard to get away.
But you know what’s worse than being somebody’s idea of a bad tranny? Being somebody’s idea of a good tranny, an acceptable tranny.
Last fall I was at an event in a room full of professional acquaintances. A musician who I’ve done some good work with came over to talk to me. This guy is a kind, thoughtful man who I trust. I’ve known him for about two years.
“Vivian,” he said, “it’s so nice to have you here. You always seem to happy and relaxed, and you’re always so open about being trans.”
At this point I’m smiling, enjoying a nice compliment. Then the horror began.
“All the other trans people I’ve known are always so stressed out and unhappy, and are just so difficult. You do an amazing job of making people comfortable.”
And by then I was ready to leap on him to get him to be quiet. The only other trans person he knew, as far as I was aware, was standing a few yards away. I don’t know if she heard that or not, but I really hope not.
That’s not a unique example. I’ve had a lesbian in her 60s tell me that I was the first trans woman who ever got along with, that I’m cool and queer instead of “uncomfortably trying too hard to be a straight woman.”
Here’s the thing: People fucking despise trans women. Often the nicest thing they can thing of to say to trans woman is “gosh, you are so little like a trans woman!” Being trans is something to avoid, to exclude, to escape, at worst to nobly bare up under.
But I’m done with it. You can be trans or cis. You can be super femme, you can be ultra butch. You can be straight or queer. You can have people saying you’re a transcendent beauty who just stepped off a Renaissance canvas, you can have people saying you’re a stomach turning monster. You can be a light in the world who every person you meet loves and devotes themselves to, you can be an awkward storm cloud who drives everyone away.
I don’t care. Sun shines and rain falls on the just and unjust alike. I don’t want to know who the Real Good Ones and the Real Bad Ones are. We’re all people. We all deserve to be treated as valued members of humanity. That’s all.
About the Author:
Vivian Taylor is a writer, activist, avid Sung Compline promoter, and proud (if occasionally troubled) North Carolinian currently living in Boston, MA. She served in the War in Iraq from 2009-2010 and is currently process of Discernment for the Priesthood in the Episcopal Church. She writes about her experiences in war, being a peacenik veteran, and being a transgender Christian.
Published by Autostraddle, 5/15/13. All images copyrighted by IVY DALEY.
**CONGRATULATIONS, YOU WON!**
Your stories, your voices, your art, YOU!
‘TESTIMONY: A Living Exhibition of Queer Youth’ at Leslie-Lohman Museum of Gay and Lesbian Art, shared the experiences of LGBTQ young people from all over the world through photography, writing, video and YOUR submitted work. And the show received an award from Fresh Fruit Festival for Outstanding Event of the Year!
Sharing our stories with each other and the community is powerful and we’re so glad you chose to BE HEARD. Coalition for Queer Youth is proud TESTIMONY was honored. You deserve it! ♥
To check out more TESTIMONY or SUBMIT to this award-winning(!) exhibition, visit www.myqueertestimony.tumblr.com
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