#namjoon scenario

➬ Title | Slow Dancing: a mini series

➬ Summary | When your countdown appeared on your wrist right on the morning of your eighteenth birthday, you had thought that perhaps the universe was on your side, especially since the final seconds were already ticking so soon. You just never expected to have your first meeting with your soulmate to be the day when you had to let him go. But hope was not lost when you still found love without the bond, and Jungkook showed you that it was possible to find happiness beyond the system that was written for you. Except that the universe doesn’t seem to have enough of its game, when your past sacrifice comes back hitting you straight in the face, just when you had believed that you had written off the perfect ending to your bittersweet tale.

↳ Pairings | Jungkook x reader / Namjoon x reader

↳ Genre | Soulmate!au, Second Chances!au, Angst, Eventual Smut

➥ Ratings & Warnings | PG-13; slapping involved (not sexual), alcohol drinking, sexual tension.

➥ Word count | 8,5k words

➥Chapter List|Glossary|⤎Previous Chapter | Next Chapter ⇢

➥Masterlist

chapter viii. talking slow

There is nothing that Namjoon despises more than waking up to a warm morning with vicious throbbing happening inside his head.

The ache feels so potent that he can hear the sound of each throb echoing against his temple. He can even feel it all the way to his toes, feel how the world seems to move with it even when he is still lying in bed, unmoving. The kind of feeling that is completely unwelcome that he dreads opening his eyes.

He may not have always been a morning person, but Namjoon isn’t someone who would find himself in this predicament during a regular weekday, jeopardising what should have been a normally productive day for him. For years, Namjoon has maintained an image of himself where he is in complete control of his own self and need, always knows how to keep his composure in any given situation possible.

And yet, for the first time, he finds himself breaking all the rules and habits that he has created for himself. He can feel that contentment and control slipping out of his fingers only because he gave in to his sorrow. Even his body feels as if it is no longer his own, when every move he makes becomes a struggle and whatever he does only escalates it further.

Fucking hangover.

The entire room seems to tilt over whenever he tries to get up, while the spinning still doesn’t stop even when he closes his eyes to put everything to a halt, just like how he feels his world tilting and spinning in all directions. And it has been this way ever since the night he saw you at Bovine.

When his headache becomes too much, Namjoon gives up on trying and falls back on the bed. So far, his memory is a bit fuzzy and unclear. But as the pulsing headache slowly becomes numb, and just when he is not forcing himself to remember, they simply return to him, random bits and pieces of what had happened—starting from the night before to all day yesterday and then ending on the events unfolding just last night—come flooding back to him.

He remembers coming home late from the studio two nights ago, pissed at himself and feeling incredibly frustrated after his encounter with Jungkook that he decided to grab a bottle of liquor to soothe his uneasiness and wash down the aggravation that followed him home. Things didn’t turn better the next day, when he heard nothing from Jungkook and after he found out that his friend didn’t even make it to work.

Feeling lost, and distraught, thinking that Jungkook might have decided to spend the day with you to salvage and find some reassurance in his relationship with you, Namjoon spent the entire day being holed up inside his home, wallowing in his misery with the collection of liquors that he had kept in his home. He must have passed out or fallen asleep at some point because the next thing he realised, he had lost an entire day as it went past him. It was a miracle that he didn’t poison himself with all that alcohol, though he did remember stopping once in a while and the short naps he had in between helped him sober up each time. And yet even as time went by, even after all the effort that he had done to wash everything away with those liquors, the unsettling feeling inside his chest still lingered, as if it had been rooted so deeply inside him ever since the moment he had the talk with Jungkook.

It was sometime around sundown when he was awakened from another nap by the quick call that his assistant made to him from the lobby, notifying him about a guest who had come asking for him. The nap did so little to sober him up, and yet he made it to reach the front door, even with a few struggles as he tried not to stumble or fall over the coffee table on his way there.

The urgency of the phone call and how his assistant had stressed that he needed to hurry made him think that perhaps there was an emergency, something so urgent that he needed to deal with that nobody else could. He clearly was not expecting to find that the surprise guest that his assistant had sent to his door would be you.

It had taken him quite some time to process what he was seeing. At first, he had thought that he was dreaming when he saw you standing right outside of his home not too long after he was mulling over his situation with you. But then you charged at him, shoving him in anger and the pain he felt in his chest was enough to let him know that it was real. And he took every single thing you were throwing at him—every punch you gave to his chest and every word you screamed at him—so willingly. Because even in his haze, he still knew that he was responsible for everything that was happening.

That he was the reason why you were here.

And then you broke down right in front of him, and he nearly fell down with you when seeing you in that state had made him feel weak. Even now, as he is struggling to recover from his hangover, the dread that he felt from that moment still lingers inside him.

Once he feels steady enough to sit up, Namjoon leans back against the headrest, rubbing his palm across his bare chest as he can still feel the ghost of your touch that he had gotten from the moment you pushed him away and the fading warmth that he felt when he took you in his arms. The pain that you had inflicted on him was nothing compared to what he is feeling inside, though he knows now that he was also far too numb to feel anything last night compared to how raw he is feeling everything now.

But does he have a right to complain when he knows that you might be feeling more pain after what had happened? When what you had experienced had been too unbearable for you to deal with that not even his touch or his embrace had been enough to fix you.

That was why he had accepted everything that you gave him. Because he understood. And he took you in his arms because he understood how much you needed someone to hold you up and keep you from falling. Even if he couldn’t erase your pain, he knew that he had to offer you what he could give you then.

Although it doesn’t exactly justify what he did next.

It is the feeling of rage and disappointment that he has in himself that forces him to get up and leave his bed. He wastes no time and quickly freshens up, getting himself ready to face the repercussions as he marches out of his bedroom with the constant throbbing in his head accompanying every step he makes.

As he trots down his empty and silent home to reach the kitchen, Namjoon’s eyes linger on the locked door of the guest bedroom, the only other room in his penthouse that has rarely been used. Knowing what is waiting from the other side of the bedroom door gives him a sense of longing, even if he knows that he doesn’t deserve to even hope that something good may happen. Looking away from the room, his gaze falls on the foyer instead, right at the corner where he held you tight last night in his arms, holding you as an anchor that kept you from falling apart.

When he closes his eyes, he can still sense everything from that moment. Your warmth, the scent of your shampoo, the way you fit perfectly in his arms and how right it felt when you laid your head on his shoulder. That moment had been short, and yet it was still enough to make him feel complete. He felt as if his soul was awakened then, as if there had been a huge hole inside him that he kept carrying with him for years and you had managed to fill it so easily just by falling into his arms.

He had welcomed that feeling, just as he had welcomed his punishment from you. And he still remembers promising himself not to let you go, that he would always hold you up the same way, that he would never take any of it for granted just as long as he could keep you in his arms for as long as he could.

If only he didn’t royally fuck up right after, and let every chance of making it happen to slip away from his hands almost too soon.

Tormented by his guilt, Namjoon becomes determined to make things right. But first, he needs to make sure that he would do it while sober and that he would do everything the right way. While he has the coffee brewing on the kitchen counter, he picks up the phone and contacts the staff to take that first step of redeeming himself.

“Yes, sir?”

Namjoon clears his throat and keeps his voice low when he responds to his assistant. “Can you have the cook send out a complete breakfast set to my loft, please?”

“Anything specific, sir?”

Thinking and talking only worsen the ache lingering in his head. Closing his eyes, he presses his fingers on the bridge of his nose to try and stop his headache from rapidly increasing. “Nothing—just get me today’s special and some fresh fruit,” he says before quickly adding, “Make that two sets of everything.”

A movement catches his attention just as he ends the phone call, and he looks over to the guest bedroom and finds you standing in the doorway, looking like a deer caught in a headlight with your eyes looking around warily and your fingers fidgeting, as if you need to hold onto something to stop yourself from falling down again.

But what has his chest grow tight is the sight of you wearing his t-shirt, how it seems to be hanging loose on your body and its hem falling on your thighs. And he cannot deny how good it makes him feel to see you wearing something of his. The possessiveness that is building up inside him is driving him crazy, even more than how alcohol had driven his sanity to nothing but an intangible mess when he was supposed to be in control, even if it was only to offer support when you had most needed one.

His heartbeat starts pacing rapidly as he looks at your face and catches your eyes looking back at him, and more images from last night come rushing back to him. Not only for the comfortable warmth that he felt when he was holding you, but also for the cold realisation of how hurtful his actions had been to you last night.

“Perhaps it is a good thing that he is gone. Have you forgotten? You were supposed to be mine. Always have been.”

The dick comment that came out of his mouth makes him wince when he remembers ever voicing it out loud. He should have been consoling you instead of being a jackass about it and acted as if he was celebrating while you were in pain.

Namjoon would never be able to forget your reaction that came right after he said those things to you—the crestfallen look that took up your entire face, the pain in your eyes that became clear to him when they widened in shock after hearing his words, and how you pulled back so quickly, leaving Namjoon feeling mesmerised and too stunned to notice what you were about to do until it was too late. He didn’t realise what was happening until your palm landed right on his cheek and the sound of the loud slap you had landed on his face echoed through the foyer. He didn’t realise what had happened until his skin stung and the horrified gasp you made snapped him out of his shock.

Just as he recounts that very moment, his hand comes up to his cheek, touching the numbing pain on his skin. He is not entirely sure which one hurts the most—the slap of your palm that seems to linger or the constricting pain inside his chest that keeps rising and building when he tried to imagine what you were feeling then. But then everything comes to a halt once he looks at you again, the sight of you being engulfed in his oversized shirt and the knowledge that you had slept on his bed seems to calm his restless soul.

You clear your throat, looking flustered as you avoid his gaze while you remain standing there. “I think I should go…,” you murmur softly with a hoarse voice. “I know that I’ve overstayed my welcome. I shouldn’t have stayed anyway.”

“I was the one who offered. I couldn’t let you leave in the state that you were in last night,” Namjoon quickly says, wincing when he remembers how that night had ended. How right after you slapped him and while he was stunned into silence, you had somehow realised that he had been drunk when he opened the door for you, and how it pushed you to go around his kitchen and living room to find the missing bottle of liquor that he had left behind. His chest tightens when he recalls how you had then grabbed the bottle and started drinking your pain away, and how he couldn’t stop himself when—

Clearing his throat, Namjoon shakes the thoughts away and forces a smile. “And I don’t believe you are ready to go either. Why don’t you stay a bit longer and take your time until you settle down? At least stay for coffee and join me for breakfast. Maybe we can start all over and then later on, if you’d let me, I can lend my ear to listen or my shoulder to cry on if you want to.”

You open your mouth—ready to refuse him, no doubt—but stop yourself when you look conflicted. Knowing that you are at least considering it, Namjoon jumps at the chance and asks again,

“Please. It’s the least that I could do,” he says, quickly biting on his tongue to stop himself from saying, ’—after acting like such a schmuck to you last night.’

“We haven’t had a chance to talk either, have we? For us to talk properly, I mean, and without yelling at each other and while we are both sober,” he adds later on, drawing a smile to your face when you seem to realise that he is right. Namjoon’s lips turn to a wry smile when he realises that he had wasted the last few chances he had to talk to you before, how it had always ended with the both of you yelling hurtful things to each other instead of trying to figure out how to deal with the situation.

“Okay,” you whisper after a moment of silence, much to his relief, though he is still surprised that you would agree with him. Your gaze flickers toward the coffee machine as you sigh, before you meet his gaze again. “But I should probably freshen up real quick. Would you mind if I use the shower?” you ask him as you tilt your head towards the en-suite bathroom inside the room you had been sleeping in.

“By all means, help yourself,” Namjoon says with a genuine smile on his face, trying his best to hold back from adding—

Everything in this place will also be yours anyway. All of it.

It took you about 30 minutes to finish washing up.

Though it might have been more. You just know that you have lost track of time as you indulged in the luxury that the marvellous hot shower inside Namjoon’s en-suite bathroom had provided you.

It had not been your intention to stay that long in the shower, but after spending the first five minutes admiring his spacious guest bathroom and its entire fancy setup, it took you another five minutes filled with a lengthy pep talk about how much you deserved to enjoy this moment after what you have gone through before you could finally step into the shower. And you were soon filled with relief that you had talked yourself into taking it when you realised how good it felt as the hot water came running down your body. It almost felt like everything was being washed away—your fear, your pain, whatever was left from last night’s debacle—while the falling water felt more like magical fingers massaging your tense muscles until you could slowly relax. It had been too good and it felt like such a waste to step out early that you stayed longer than you should have, and you had only left when the hot water seemed to cool down and once your stomach began to protest, begging for breakfast.

After coming here completely on impulse and without carrying any personal belongings other than your small purse, you had worried about not having anything to change into. You can only sigh in defeat at the thought of the clothes that you were wearing yesterday turning into a complete mess after spilling some alcohol on yourself at some point following your impulsive act of barging into his home—hence why Namjoon had let you wear his t-shirt when it was somehow decided that you were staying for the night.

You had settled to the thought of wearing your dirty clothes again after your relaxing shower, telling yourself that you would only need to wear them on your way home anyway. But as you step out of the bathroom, wrapped in a fuzzy towel that you had found in the vanity earlier, you are surprised to find a pair of grey sweatpants and a fresh t-shirt left on the bed for you.

Taking no time to dress up, you bite down the smile that keeps trying to sneak its way to your face from thinking about how thoughtful he turns out to be. It feels like a complete turnaround after seeing the side of him that he had shown you last night, knowing that he cares enough to figure out about these things before you could.

The lavish breakfast setup and the scent of freshly brewed coffee welcome you when you walk out of the bedroom. For some reason, they bring some sense of warmth into Namjoon’s home, when all you had felt ever since you walked into this place has been nothing but hollowness. The place had seemed cold and so unfamiliar that it took you a lot of effort to feel comfortable when you laid to sleep last night. Seeing the vacant dining seats, you turn to find him standing all the way in the living room, looking out the massive window to watch over the city as it comes to life.

“This is a lot. Were you trying to feed an army?” you comment loudly before you can stop it, gaining his attention as he turns away from the window to look at you. The moment you meet his gaze, the smile on your face just comes to rise so easily, much to your surprise. And his, judging from the way he blinks rapidly as if he cannot believe what he is seeing. “Thank you for the clothes, by the way. I was already preparing myself to get through the day with the same clothes I was wearing yesterday.”

Namjoon smiles and shakes his head. “I thought you’d want something more comfortable to wear to make you feel better after that shower,” he says while making his way to you. The movement seems so natural that it almost feels like he is used to doing this—that he is used to having you here in his home. But Namjoon is quick to catch himself before getting too close, swiftly stopping and going around the table, taking the seat across from the one you are standing close to and putting the necessary distance between the two of you. “Come sit and eat with me.”

For a moment, you still feel hesitant to take his offer. Sitting here at the dining table with him seems too intimate, too soon, and too confusing. But there is something in his presence and in his words that seem to compel you into moving, eliminating every excuse that you could think of to escape as you easily slip into the empty chair right across from him without so much of a word.

The breakfast starts with silence, and for some reason, it feels oddly comfortable rather than it is being awkward to share this moment with him even when you barely know him. Things continue this way until Namjoon clears his throat and speaks first. “I want to apologise,” he starts, stopping briefly until you pay attention to him so he can continue, “I shouldn’t have said what I said to you, that was wrong of me. I won’t even justify my condition as it happened. I was drunk and caught off guard with the situation, but none of those things should give me the excuse to be an asshole.”

Your lips curl up to a small smile before you can stop yourself. “So you do realise that you were being an asshole?”

Namjoon scoffs in response to your teasing, though his shoulders sag in relief somewhat when you merely joke about it instead of yelling at him like how he seemed to have expected you to. “It’s quite hard not to,” he says with a shrug while giving you a remorseful smile that seems genuine. “I shouldn’t have said such a thing when you were going through so much already. Your life had changed irrevocably in the span of, what—hours?—after years of living in the stability which you had built with Jungkook as a huge part of your life. While it sucks for me to think about it, I understood. And it was way out of line for me to say such a thing when what you needed was someone to hold you up while you were falling.”

Once again, you are stunned speechless. His apology was something that you had expected to hear, but you had initially thought that he would simply say “I’m sorry” and then be done with it. And yet here he is, giving you such a lengthy apology and looking so terribly sincere with every word he says that you feel warmth blooming in your chest. There is also something else tugging within you as he was speaking, something that has your heart pumping and coming alive.

“You’re forgiven. For now,” you whisper to him as you return his gaze. With a sigh, you shake your head and murmur softly, “It must’ve been a shock to you when I came here unannounced, and to top it all, I created a scene—” you stop for a moment and your gaze flicker towards the living room, where the ‘scene’ from last night had happened. You wince when you remember how unruly your behaviour had been and add, “—and made a whole mess at your home when you probably wanted to have some alone time. And for that, I owe you an apology too.”

Instead of taking it, Namjoon only shakes his head. “There is no need for that. You were frustrated and needed someone to yell at. Someone you could put the blame on for everything that had gone down and I had been the most eligible bastard who deserved it, so I’m not going to blame you to take that opportunity when you could,” he says with a smile, drawing a chuckle out of you. But then he lowers his gaze, and the look that he is giving you is filled with concern as he watches you from under his eyelids. “Not to mention—it wouldn’t be fair for you to deal with this on your own when I have just as much part in this as you are.”

With his words reminding you of what had happened, the pain returns inside your chest, and you swallow hard to stop it from becoming stronger before it takes away your calm just when you finally start feeling better. Saying nothing about it, you lower your head and nod. “I didn’t know where I should run to,” you whisper, admitting how lost you had felt when Jungkook left. “And you were right, the moment I found out that Jungkook had learned everything from you, I acted out of instinct and rushed out here to—”

You look up at him just then, finding him lifting his eyebrows when you fail to finish your sentence. “To do what?” he asks, speaking softly and teasingly at the same time. “To punish me? To punch my face and release your anger?”

“All of the above, I suppose,” you answer him, allowing a shy grin to take over your face when he simply does the same. Although the grin quickly fades when your gaze falls onto his cheek, seeing the slightly pinkish shade on his skin which seems to take its time to fade and feeling the tingle on your palm that returns when you remember what you had done.

“I’m sorry, though. For assaulting you last night,” you start to apologise. Your cheeks are beginning to feel warm when you think about how reckless you had been, but you disguise it when you lift your hand and point it at him. “You know, the uhm—” you say to him, stopping to wave a hand at his cheek. “I’m sorry for slapping you.”

Namjoon laughs. “I already told you, I deserved it,” he says with a dimpled smile that has your heartbeat going so fast it nearly takes your breath away with it.

Your gazes lock to one another for a brief moment, and the air around you seems to sizzle. It prickles on your skin and makes your cheeks grow hot that you instantly look away to cease whatever it is that seems to be building between you. It is the connection, your conscience continues to remind you, but you deny it by simply ignoring it, refusing to acknowledge it for the sake of keeping it from becoming real. Thankfully, Namjoon no longer pays attention to you since the moment you severed that connection, already has his eyes on his phone as he continues to finish his simple meal, unaware that you now have your eyes on him again.

Your eyes linger on his face for a moment, silently taking him in while you have the chance to. The memory you have had of him from college and the pictures you have seen over the past few years have done no justice to what you are seeing up close. If you had thought that Jungkook is a perfect specimen of a human being, then Namjoon is—well, a different kind of perfect. While you have no intention of comparing him with your missing fiancé, there is no helping it when you keep seeing Jungkook’s face inside your head while you have your gaze on this man.

The one thing that you love about Jungkook is the soft features he has on his face even when his body is all firm and strong, but with Namjoon, everything about him is all hard, and all male. From the sharp lines on his face to his hard chest—you still remember how he felt under your palms when he pressed you against him—and his strong arms that made you feel small when he held you in his embrace.

As much as you hate to admit it, there is simply no way that you could possibly deny the attraction that is slowly beginning to sink in before you ever had the chance to realise it. When did it happen? Was it an instant pull, right when the soulmate bond snapped into place the night Namjoon’s mark appeared on his wrist? Or did it happen last night, right after you unleashed your anger on him and then you—

Your gaze trails down to find his lips, and almost instinctively the tingles start appearing on your lips just as you are once again taken back to last night, when in the middle of your frenzy, right when your mind was still clouded in the thick haze of your heartbreak and while you were slowly losing all control against the soulmate pull that your body simply—gave in. Right at that moment, you close your eyes, hoping that it would be enough to erase the flashing image of what happened in your blunder, only to feel your stomach dip when you fail and the memory returns.

Why did I have to kiss him?

You reach up and press your fingers on your lips, hoping to wipe the sensation away. But even as you try to do it by brushing your fingers across your lips, you can still feel it coming back to you each time the memory returns, and every single time it happens, your chest tightens with guilt.

It wasn’t that the kiss had been intended. Your emotions had been completely out of control, and the strong alcohol that you had drunk in the desperate need of erasing your pain must have clouded your judgement. You faintly remember Namjoon rushing to stop you from finishing his bottle, yet it only caused your rage to rise further, and you pushed him away while calling him names and accusing him to be petty and selfish for not wanting to share his drink. And when he finally caught your arm and glared at you to reprimand you, when the shove you gave against his chest wasn’t strong enough to draw him away, you ended up grabbing him by his collars and pulled him down until you could press your lips on his.

The kiss was meant to be brief, just something to shut him up because half of your mind had been thinking of smacking his lips with your palm and it was almost as if your body simply decided that using your lips would be a better idea. Clearly, your mind had already short-circuited just then to react so impulsively before you even realised what you were doing.

Despite the numbness and everything about last night that had become nothing but blurry fragments of moments, you still remember everything about the kiss. You still remember how his body stiffened when you reached out and pulled him down and how he was unmoving for a moment when you pressed your lips on his. You still remember how soft and tender his lips had felt when he began to reciprocate and pressed them against yours instead of pulling away, how he took over and seized control until your head spun with delight.

And you cannot deny the fact that your body came alight upon contact and how the tingles kept rising in the heat of the kiss, how it felt just as intoxicating as the drinks that you stole from him that you kept leaning in when he started to deepen the kiss, allowing his tongue to slip in while his hands pulled you closer to him. But the worse part of it all is the fact that instead of pushing him away, you simply relished the way your whole body was burning from the inside and out.

Thinking about it now makes your cheeks burn and your body heats up once more, but you shake it away. You had tried to convince yourself that it would be better for you to forget that it ever happened and move on. But now that he had put everything out in the open, after both of you had been so willing to own up to your mistakes, that decision simply flies out the window and you give in to the guilt that you are feeling inside.

Lowering your head to hide your burning face, you murmur to him, “Then I’m sorry for kissing you. That was—for the lack of a better word, completely inappropriate.” Unsurprisingly, hearing this only makes his smile grow wider, the dimples on his cheeks deepen when he chuckles so pleasingly as if he enjoys seeing you so flustered.

“I’m honestly not too sorry about it,” he softly says, and you almost swear that your heart nearly jumps out of your chest, most specifically when he slowly lifts his intense gaze to yours. You try to act like his words have no effect on you, but you doubt that you can hide it well when a grin comes onto his face. “But all is forgiven. Neither of us had been in our right minds when it happened.”

His words should be giving you some sense of relief, and yet again, your body reacts differently, when a rush of warmth engulfs you. It makes it even harder to deny it when both his words and the way he is looking at you are making you feel—wanted,even if you know that it is only coming from the bond you have between you and nothing else.

Nothing like what you share with Jungkook.

You say nothing to respond to his words, then simply turn away to enjoy your coffee so you would stop getting drawn to his intense gaze. “I don’t remember seeing you cook and there is no traces left in the kitchen showing me that you prepared breakfast while I was in the shower. Except for the coffee. Do you have staff helping you with all of this?” you ask him once another moment of silence settles in, choosing to change the topic just so you can stop thinking about the kiss again, which happens whenever your mind is idle.

Namjoon smiles bashfully. “I do. The staff belongs to the exclusive floors in this building, though. My boss, the benefactor behind the recording company, owns this building, and the staff is always on standby just in case we need anything. They always send me breakfast in the morning. All I had to do was ask for some extra portions so I can have you join me this morning.”

“You must have done it often, haven’t you? Invite someone to stay the night, feed them with lavish breakfast in the morning to woo them—” You have no idea where this thought had come from or what you are trying to accomplish by saying them out loud. And you certainly have not expected to feel a pang of jealousy for picturing all those women he had taken photos with sitting on this very same table with him, possibly in a more intimate way. You clutch onto your cold glass of water to stop yourself from pressing your palm onto your chest, right where the sting is coming from, though the feeling is quick to be replaced with guilt.

Because if knowing that he had shared his life with others before hurts you, even knowing that all he had gone through had been nothing more but short term relationships or flings, then how had he felt when he had to watch you with Jungkook?

“You may not believe me,” Namjoon speaks after clearing his throat, and you lift your eyes to find him looking straight at you so intensely that it makes you shudder in your seat. “But I’ve never invited anyone to stay the night here, or have the staff cook for them. Except for my family, of course.”

“Really? Not even your past girlfriends?”

You immediately regret asking him this when a spark of mirth comes to his eyes. When he seems intrigued at the fact that you are asking him about his past love life.

“How did you know that I’ve been with anyone else before?”

Gritting your teeth, you bite back the response that might end up with you confessing to him that you have been keeping up with his life over the past few years. It didn’t happen often, and not always on purpose either, when his photos just basically appeared even when you were not searching for anything related to him. With a forced smile, you simply answer him with, “Lucky guess. After all, you have always had a date clinging to your arms on the two occasions we met. Surely, it wouldn’t be wrong of me to assume that there are others in between.”

Namjoon blinks. Whether or not he believes you is not really your problem, though you are surprised to see a mix of shock and guilt in his eyes for a brief moment—and maybe a semblance of shame—before everything fades in the next blink. However, he still keeps his eyes on you when he says, “There had been a few casual relationships that I’ve shared in the past, some casual flings, nothing truly serious. Some of the women that people may have seen with me as my date have also been a part of—” he grimaces, “Well, you may call it as special arrangements.”

“What do you mean?”

Namjoon shrugs and gives you a small smile. “It means it was nothing but that, a front to show the public that I had connections. It helped boost the business when I showed up on dates with people who mattered in the business and it mostly helped them at the same time as showing up with me in public put their name out there for people and the media to recognise,” he says, once again surprising you when instead of telling you this while wearing a sense of pride on his face, all that you see on his face is a hint of shame, before he puts on another mask, and he wears a determined look on his face when he says, “So, the answer is no. They’ve never spent the night here and I’ve never opened my home to them. While I can’t say that I’m a saint either, I have had flings, friends with benefits, women that I could call when I needed a company, and oftentimes the public date that people were seeing me in would continue for the rest of the night, if you know what I mean. I can’t tell you all the details, but—” he stops to look at you in the eyes to add, “The time I spent with them had never been spent here, not in my home.”

Clearly, you have no idea how to react to that, or how to respond when he is looking at you with some sort of a hopeful look in his eyes. How could you even say anything when he just opens up that part of his life so easily, to be so easily honest instead of putting up a front just to amuse you? Unable to find anything to say, you look away, nodding at him as you tell him, “I see. Well, what you do at your personal time isn’t truly my business, is it?”

“Did. What I did in my personal time—” he quickly says with a firm voice, drawing you to find his eyes again. “Things have changed. It has to be.”

“You don’t have to change anything just because—” you begin to speak, hating the way your heart is giving some happy little flops in your chest just for hearing him say those things. Because it doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter. And you shouldn’t be jumping up and down in joy when his life doesn’t concern you. “We don’t even know each other to be saying things like this.”

“Then perhaps we can change that.”

“What?”

With a sigh, Namjoon leans forward to get closer to you, his eyes never waver from your face as he speaks, bringing back everything that had once been said between you the last time you met.

Before Jungkook left to give you space.

“Perhaps we can take this chance to get to know each other better. Past the memory of me being the douchebag who talked shit about the soulmate system and ignored you while you were waiting to see me, past the knowledge of me being Jungkook’s friend or the man who put up a front as if I have had a glorious love life in the past,” he says, and you can swear that there is a fire in his eyes, a look that tells you that he is not backing down. Not from this one.

“There is a reason why the universe had put the both of us together and matched us since birth. There is a reason why fate still insisted that we met, regardless of what had happened to us in the past that had kept us apart. Don’t you want to know what reason that might be?”

The weight of Namjoon’s offer sits with you all through breakfast. While it doesn’t do much to ruin the serene moment that you have been sharing with Namjoon right until the moment he said the words, it still has you growing weary and uneasy for the rest of the morning you spend with him.

It becomes a wonder for you when you manage to walk away from the dining table completely unscathed, even if your mind continues reeling over it without even being able to give him a sold answer. As if he can sense it, Namjoon merely smiles when you fall silent after hearing his offer and suggests that you would take your time to consider it.

“You don’t have to give me an answer or agree with it right away. Try to think about it, don’t let me force or affect any decision you make,” he says, before changing the topic just when you come close to start thinking of ways to escape and flee out of his home.

By noon, you are back at your apartment, sitting on the sofa right in front of the television, its empty screen looking back at you. Namjoon had sent his driver to take you home merely an hour ago, right around the same time he had suddenly acquired some motivation to get back to work and had decided that the driver would be of better use to drive you home while he did his duty from his fancy penthouse.

Feeling drained and sensing no other emotions but the emptiness that had followed you since the day before, you had fallen onto this sofa moments after you walked in and you have yet to move away from it since. You should be mulling over his offer, or perhaps plan out what to do to get Jungkook back and have him talk to you. But you are too numb to do anything, much less to function when you can barely think clearly, as if both your body and mind have shut down ever since you returned to your empty home.

Home.

Looking around, you take in your surroundings, gazing at the space that you had built together with Jungkook as a place where you would be—should have been—building your future together. You look at the beige-coloured walls around you which have been adorned with various framed pictures of the two of you and posters of everything that you both enjoy in life, at the room that is filled with all the mementoes that you have collected together with Jungkook through all the years you spent together.

Your mind takes you back to Namjoon’s home, which had appeared a complete contrast to your own. Despite calling it his personal space, Namjoon’s penthouse seemed scarce of intimate touches. It had felt too impersonal for you, with only essential things filling his home instead of the things that would make his personal space homely, with monochrome colours painting all the walls, spaces, and furnitures which seemed to be the opposite of the vibrant colours that you could find in yourhome.

And yet, as you are sitting here on your own, this apartment suddenly feels colder, hollow, as if the warmth that has been a huge part of it has been sucked dry the moment Jungkook stepped out of the door, the moment every bit of hope that you have built simply shattered when he turned away from you, taking all of that hope and your joy away while taking away your right to choose.

With a sharp inhale of breath, you finally snap out of it, and you soon fall in motion to start picking your life back up as much as possible.

You start by contacting your workplace, while you had informed your co-workers of your absence for the past two days, you decide to make it clear that the ‘family emergency’ you are currently dealing with will take some more time to fix and that you will need to take an early vacation leave before you can return to work. Then you start making more phone calls, sending out texts, doing the best you can to trace Jungkook’s whereabouts and confirm that he is okay, that perhaps you can find him and drag him back home to you.

Your stomach dips when Jungkook’s brother contacts you back only to let you know that your fiancé has yet to appear back at their hometown—not at their parents’ house, not at the brother’s house, and nowhere near their other relatives or old friends. Another call confirms what Namjoon had told you that Jungkook has yet to step foot at the company either, while none of your close friends claims to have been contacted by Jungkook since the day he was gone.

It takes a lot of convincing and pleading to Jungkook’s brother to make him believe that nothing is wrong and to make him promise that he wouldn’t let the news reach their parents. And it takes you a lot of vague explanations to answer all the questions that your friends throw at you with each call or text to keep them from finding out what is actually happening.

Your sister is the last person you call, and her voice immediately feels like a warm hug. Even before you start explaining to her all the details, Gahee seems to have sensed it, as if she had been expecting to receive this call for a long time.

“Gosh, I’m so sorry, _____, I have no idea what to say. Do you want to stay here with us until he comes back? Youngjae has a conference to attend out of town this weekend and I was just about to ask you to stay here to keep me company and help out with Gyeoul anyway,” she softly says.

“I don’t know,” you whisper into the call. “I want to be here if—when he comes back.” Your throat feels constricted that you can barely say those words, and you realise just how unconvincing you sounded even to yourself. Your eyes begin to prickle and burn with tears for the lost hope, but you suck a deep breath and hold everything in. Only for your effort to turn futile when your sister offers,

“I know that you want to wait for him. But would it be a good idea to wait on your own? At least when you’re here, you have Gyeoul and me to distract you. You wouldn’t have everything that reminds you of him suffocating and torturing you in your wait.”

Suffocating? Is that what this place is making me feel?

You begin to wonder about this just when your chest grows even tighter the moment your eyes fall on one of the photos that Jungkook had put on display. An old photo of you taken on your birthday two years ago.

You close your eyes briefly before taking another look around you just as you end the phone call. Not a moment too soon, the silence sinks in, as if it has been waiting in the shadows, lurking around you until the moment you are no longer busy with calls and texts to finally notice it and it would finally engulf you, wrapping itself around you until you find it hard to simply breathe.

Right at that moment, you know that you would never be able to survive sitting here in your silence and in the not knowing only to wait helplessly for Jungkook’s return. Determined to not let yourself drown in sorrow, you finally make your move.

By dusk, you have your personal things packed up. Essential things that you would need to get through the upcoming days and only enough spare clothes to get through the week. By nightfall, you are sitting inside an Uber ride taking you across the city. The hollowness follows you even after you are kilometres away from your apartment, though you can slowly feel it fading, chipped in with every added distance. You try not to think too much about where you are heading to, keeping your eyes looking out the window and watching closely at the city that still thrives while your entire world seems to be falling apart.

By the time you reach your destination, your chest no longer feels tight, though you still feel completely numb. And it doesn’t help eliminate your spiking nerves as you stand right in front of the doorway, your heart stammering in your chest as you are waiting for it to be opened.

The sound of the keys and the door clicking open feels like a gavel coming down to seal your fate. A sense of uncertainty plagues you as you are standing there, though it all fades so quickly when you lift your face and meet Namjoon’s eyes.

“I—I don’t know why I’m here, but—”

Once again, you feel as if your throat is clogged when you are not even completely sure how to explain yourself. The last thing you remember was feeling the dread of loneliness while being alone inside your home. That intense feeling had pulled you right out of it to find solace, only to lead you all the way here, back to his door.

While you are busy questioning yourself, Namjoon simply smiles at you and steps aside, widening the door behind him so you could step right past him. There is no question in his eyes, no doubt in his smile, and there is nothing but pure warmth engulfing you when he says,

“Come in. You’re always welcome here, _____.”

➥ Author’s note | Forgive me for the wait, but this one took a bit of time to finish. As you may have noticed, I have added another chapter on the masterpost. I have decided to split the original chapter into two, with chapter 8 as the filler chapter, while more intriguing stuff will happen later on chapter 9. I hope you enjoyed reading this one. Thank you for joining this emotional ride. Any feedback is welcome!

❥ Commissioned by @namgishope​​​

— © 2022 Yoonia, all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any kind is not allowed. translations are not allowed.

➬ Title | Slow Dancing: a mini series

➬ Summary | When your countdown appeared on your wrist right on the morning of your eighteenth birthday, you had thought that perhaps the universe was on your side, especially since the final seconds were already ticking so soon. You just never expected to have your first meeting with your soulmate to be the day when you had to let him go. But hope was not lost when you still found love without the bond, and Jungkook showed you that it was possible to find happiness beyond the system that was written for you. Except that the universe doesn’t seem to have enough of its game, when your past sacrifice comes back hitting you straight in the face, just when you had believed that you had written off the perfect ending to your bittersweet tale.

↳ Pairings | Jungkook x reader / Namjoon x reader

↳ Genre | Soulmate!au, Second Chances!au, Angst, Eventual Smut

➥ Ratings & Warnings | +18 / M for Mature; mentions of alcohol consumptions/hangover, implied/depiction of a one-night-stand, possible infidelity, implied smut, sexual tension.

➥ Word count | 11,6k words

➥Chapter List|Glossary|⤎Previous Chapter | Next Chapter ⇢

➥Masterlist

chapter ix. save your love

Something feels different.

Jungkook can sense it even before he opens his eyes. Even the fog that seems to fill the crevices in his head can do nothing to stop him from noticing how foreign everything around him feels.

The warmth enveloping him.

The soft touch of sheets under his palms.

The thick, plushy pillows where his head seems to be resting on.

The feminine scent of perfume that seems to be wafting through the air around him, gently breezing past him like delicate hands teasing on his skin.

As he slowly finds the strength to open his eyes and force himself to wake up, Jungkook’s eyes flutter open to the warm morning sun greeting him from the open windows. As he stretches out his sore limbs, little by little, the remaining haze of his sleep is lifted, and he stops moving as he is immediately met with an astounding sight of his surroundings. His eyes grow wide the moment he realises that he has indeed fallen asleep in a completely different bedroom, lying on a different bed, with windows on the opposite side of the walls that are nearly twice as big as the ones that he has been looking out of since he had gotten on this island. He looks around, and everything that he is seeing officially confirms that he had not been sleeping in Yugyeom’s room.

His heartbeat begins to race in a state of panic, not knowing where he is. And while he rarely ever had any experience of waking up with a hangover or having any piece of his memory missing after spending the night out drinking, Jungkook quickly finds that he has no clear idea of what had truly happened last night. The last thing he remembers is sitting at the bar with Tasha, the one person he would have never expected to meet in such a place.

They haven’t met each other even once after their first and last encounter at Bovine months ago, yet it certainly felt as if they had been old friends the moment they started to talk to each other. Last night, they spent hours sharing drinks, exchanging stories, and laughing at the things they found astounding from any topic that they brought up while admiring the serenity that they found from spilling their thoughts about the universe and the lives of all human beings who are living in it.

Sitting up on the bed, Jungkook finds himself still wearing last night’s clothes. The faint headache that has come up when he was trying to move easily fades as he leans back against the headrest, though he still feels as if his entire energy has been depleted after all that drinking last night that he refuses to make any other move despite the urge to investigate further to find out where he is.

Letting his head fall back, he closes his eyes, trying to regain his memory and figure out just how he had gotten here. It is then when he hears someone knocking at the door. He barely has the chance to open his eyes or to even respond when the door opens and the slow movement happening at the door catches his attention.

“Knock, knock.”

Jungkook quickly turns to the doorway, blinking rapidly when he finds Tasha standing there while leaning against the door frame. Wearing simple clothing—a plain white T-shirt over a pair of pastel-coloured leggings, which is a complete contrast to the dress that she had worn last night—she looks refreshed, ready to start the day. And she also looks completely unaffected by the drinks that she had last night.

Jungkook’s eyes fall on her exposed wrist. The sight of the purple hydrangea tattoo appearing on her skin reminds him of the conversation that they both had last night. His eyes are still on her wrist when she raises her hand, lifting the mug that she has been carrying with her to cover the bright smile showing on her face. Her eyes seem to glint under the sunlight, clearly looking amused at what she is seeing, and her eyebrows are raised as she watches Jungkook silently trying to piece everything together. The frown he is wearing on his face clearly shows just how much he is struggling to do so.

“Wake up, sleepyhead. Don’t you even think about going back to sleep now,” Tasha greets him, finally snapping him out of it.

“What—” Jungkook straightens up further and glances around. “What happened last night? Is this your place? How did I get here?”

Instead of answering him, Tasha merely smiles at him. “Why don’t you freshen up first and then we’ll talk over breakfast? Or coffee? Do you drink coffee?” Jungkook absently nods while still looking like a lost puppy, so Tasha simply continues to talk. “Go take a shower. The bathroom is over there,” she says, pointing at the door on the other side of the room which seems to be leading to the ensuite bathroom. “I’ll have everything ready and have someone fetch you some fresh clothes to change into once you’re done.”

Jungkook opens his mouth to respond, but misses his chance to say anything when Tasha has already slipped away from the door when he turns to find her again. Deciding that he wouldn’t be getting any answers by staying put on the bed that feels almost too comfortable for him to lie on, he rushes towards the bathroom to freshen up, taking his time with it until he can finally find some clarity.

Even if he still can’t remember a few things from last night which had led him to end up in Tasha’s place. And in her bed, nonetheless.

He finds the clothes just as promised when he finally steps out of the bathroom, all prepared for him on the bed. The dark-coloured shirt and pants seem to fit him suspiciously well, but he chooses not to think much about it as he walks out of the bedroom. On his way to find Tasha, Jungkook looks around and soon finds that he is in a loft that looks like a part of the resort where he had been spending his night, judging from the familiar view of the beach and the ocean that he can see through the windows. He follows the scent of brewing coffee to find Tasha getting busy in the kitchen, surprising him as he sees her cooking on the stove herself instead of having her staff do it for her.

“Go take a seat. I’ll be ready in a minute,” she calls out to him while moving fluently around the kitchen, fetching him the coffee that she had made like a pro. “I have no idea what kind of coffee you’re into so I made a light one. I’ve put some extra cream on the side if you want some more.”

Jungkook takes the mug filled with coffee and turns away, deciding to take a look around rather than sitting idly by as he feels too restless to do so when he has a ton of questions running inside his head. He finds the living room looking homey and comfortable, a sign that she has been using this place quite often as her personal living space. He walks past the large-sized television hanging on one wall before stopping in front of a drawer nearby where he finds a few framed pictures being placed on display.

Looking at them makes his chest grow tight. He sucks a deep breath to ease the pain, though it seems too hard for him to do so when he only remembers how this setup reminds him too much of what he has back home—how you have decorated his living room in a similar way, with a low drawer full of trinkets holding various framed pictures on top that documented his entire life together with you.

Shaking his head, Jungkook focuses back on the pictures in front of him and starts to look closer into them. Most of them seem to have been taken while Tasha was travelling to different places as they are showing Tasha posing in various locations—either somewhere in South Korea or abroad—while some others are showing images of her with her family and friends. Then he stops as he finds a wedding photo placed near the center. The picture is showing a man wearing his wedding suit while smiling broadly with his arm wrapped around a younger woman who appears to be his bride pressed onto his left side. On his right, held under his other arm is Tasha, who is smiling warmly into the frame while she keeps her hand on the man’s chest as she stands politely close to him.

“Is this your family? I don’t recall you ever telling me that you have a brother,” he starts asking before he can stop himself. For a moment, he gets nothing but silence, until Tasha’s voice comes startling him once she has moved to stand next to him.

“That’s because I don’t. I’m an only child,” she says.

“Then, who are these people?”

Reaching out to pick up the photo, Tasha releases a soft sigh. “Oh, he’s my soulmate. But he’s married to someone else,” she easily says to him, catching him by surprise that he snaps his head to look at her with wide eyes, only to see her smiling back. “That’s his wife on his left. The photo was taken on their wedding day.”

Seeing that Jungkook is left too stunned to speak, Tasha softly laughs and places the framed photo back in its previous place before wrapping her hands around his arm to pull him away. “You’re in shock. I get it. Why don’t we sit down, have some breakfast and coffee so we can get rid of that hangover of yours while we talk? I’ll tell you everything about them.”

“You’re being too quiet.”

Jungkook looks up from his second cup of coffee—light, a bit sweeter and with extra cream, just like how she had suggested for him to take since she only makes strong ones—and returns Tasha’s gaze.

“You can probably see that I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything,” he says to her after a beat of silence and once he realises that he had barely touched his meal despite feeling the hunger ever since he woke up earlier. With a sigh, Jungkook decides to be honest and share what he has been thinking. “I have so many questions that I don’t know just where to start.”

Tasha nods and places her own mug of coffee down on the table. “Well, I can begin by telling you that nothing happened between us after we finished our last drink. You were drunk, not to the point that you blacked out because of it, but enough to make it hard for me to drag you home. I had Hyuk, the bartender, helping me to carry you out of the place safely, but then you refused to go home. You kept telling me that your friend wouldn’t be home and you refused to tell me his address, so I figured it would have been easier for me to drag you here instead since we’re only a few floors down.”

Jungkook has suspected this but still grimaces as he imagines the chaos that he had created. “I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble.”

Tasha waves her hand. “Oh, it’s fine. I already got something good out of it, at least. Consider us even,” she says to him with a wink and an elated smile taking over her face, while Jungkook’s face feels warm when he remembers seeing the aforementioned bartender from last night walking out of another bedroom merely moments before Jungkook sat down at the dining table. The man looked freshly showered and was refusing to join breakfast, saying that he needed to get back to work before his boss would scold him for slacking off. Though the man didn’t leave before kissing Tasha right on the lips one last time and promising to return for the night once he is off the clock and if she ever needs his company.

Jungkook has no idea how to feel about knowing that his new female friend was having a fling coming by while he was passed out right next door. But the bartender didn’t seem to mind it, nor did he seem to care about Jungkook’s presence in the room at all, and Tasha did apologise for taking the chance to have fun while he was out of it. At least the revelation had allowed him to breathe a sigh of relief, as it had confirmed everything that Tasha had just told him, that he truly hadn’t done anything stupid while he was crazy drunk.

Jungkook turns his gaze around the room to find the photo that he had found earlier, placed right at the spot where it would be visible even from the distance. “You and your soulmate—” he begins to question her. “What happened between you?”

Tasha raises her pretty eyebrows before her eyes find the very same photo that had caught Jungkook’s attention. A deep sigh slips out of her, though there is nothing more but affection and longing in her eyes when she thinks about the past. “I met Wooyoung in freshman year. He’s much older than I am and was already graduating then. We met during a joint event held between the university that I was studying in and the neighbouring university he was still enrolled in. It was a huge shock for us both when we met, to say the least, one that I had expected, with my timer running out before I stumbled into his path. I don’t really think either of us had been fully prepared for it either, so neither of us knew how to react. And then I found out that he had fallen in love with his childhood best friend who was also present at the time. They had been dating for years already.”

Tasha stops for a moment, taking a deep breath as she recalls the past. There is a faraway look in her eyes. Though, to Jungkook’s surprise, she looks more amused than hurt as she remembers what happened.

“Things were rough right after. Wooyoung and I tried to work things out and figure out how to handle things. You have probably guessed it, but the soulmate bond came to us so strong that it was hard for us to ignore it. But then, soon enough, we both realised that the only reason we were both attracted to each other was onlybecause of the soulmate bond while his first love would always remain to have a special place in his heart,” she slowly adds, smiling softly as the memory returns to her. “We sat down together after we figured it out—the three of us—and had a long talk about our future. They told me about her soulmate, how she had found out on her eighteenth birthday that she had lost him before ever meeting him the moment she saw that her mark appeared immediately after her timer ran out and once the cursive letter showed up on her skin, writing in red ink—”

Jungkook flinches and starts to brush his fingers absentmindedly on his own wrist as he remembers his own experience with his soulmate mark. He still remembers that morning as if it had only happened a short while ago. How he witnessed the numbers appearing on his skin, how his breath stilled when he saw how fast the timer had counted down to zero, and how the purple petals bloomed right after, before his soulmate’s initials began to write themselves in red cursive letters. He clenches his hands when he imagines that traumatic event happening to someone else. Someone like the bride in the photo that Tasha has kept between the other memorabilia gracing her home, who he had seen smiling so prettily and kindly to the camera with her eyes glowing in unshed tears of happiness.

When he looks up again, he finds Tasha staring back at him with a knowing look in her eyes, as if she knows exactly where his mind has been wandering to. “Yes, just like yours,” she whispers, nodding at his wrist. “At first, Wooyoung only wanted to stay beside her to support her, to help her deal with her heartbreak and help her get through until she could learn to love someone else. But love bloomed between them during that time. Before they even knew it, they were slowly building their future together. Until the day I came barrelling into their lives. Literally.”

Tasha softly laughs as she describes how she had crossed Wooyoung’s path at the campus festival, how she had tripped and nearly fall before he caught her, the perfect portrayal of how she came into their lives without any warning. Jungkook smiles as he listens to her story before a frown comes to his face. “It must have been rough on you to witness that.”

Smiling softly at him, Tasha simply lifts her shoulders. “It was, at first. But I got over it when I saw how much they were completely in love with each other,” she says, surprising Jungkook further when he sees the deep love in her eyes as she talks about her soulmate and his wife together. “There was never a place for me in their lives, other than what I’ve earned for helping them.”

“I don’t understand,” Jungkook murmurs, tilting his head.

With a sly grin on her face, Tasha leans closer to whisper as if she is sharing a big secret and someone else would be listening in. “You see, I helped them get married,” she says, and her grin grows wider as Jungkook’s eyes widen in shock. “They wanted to elope when their families were against them getting together. Especially when Wooyoung’s family found out by chance that I was his actual soulmate. So I pretended to steal him away from his lover, when in reality, I was flying them both off to one of the resorts that my Dad’s company was partnered with in Fiji so they could get married there. Of course, I had to come with them as an alibi for my absence and to act as their witness.”

“Why?” Jungkook gasps. “Why would you do that?” he questions her, though deep down, he can already guess what her reasoning might be.

Tasha leans back with a low chuckle. “I already told you once, didn’t I? I’m a sucker for romance. I love the whole idea of love, and to the idea of shoving your middle finger to the universe to show them that they are not always right and they don’t always get to decide who we fall in love with,” she says, laughing softly as if she is picturing herself doing it, to put her hand up and show her middle finger to the sky and to the universe that had tried to play around with her fate. “It also helped that Wooyoung was a complete stranger to me at the time and the bond only made me look at him more like an older brother than a possible lover once we got close to each other.”

Jungkook falls silent for a moment. “What did your family think? Your father?”

As he mentions her father, Tasha releases a deep sigh. “My Dad was a tough one to crack, but he was the first person to understand. I’ve always been a Daddy’s girl, being the only child he had ever gotten from his marriage with my Mom. He had wanted to have a son for a long time, but had initially come to love me just the same. As I was his only baby, he did get worried, at first. But I managed to convince him that it was my choice, and by choosing to help the one I was intended to be with to be together with the love of his life, I had somehow proven to him that I was someone who knew my priorities well and that I would know how to take care of the people I came to care about. Just exactly the kind of person he needed to inherit his entire business empire.”

Tasha smiles to herself as she recalls the events happening then, when she remembers how she had defied her own family. “He gave in after I promised that I would make it up by working my ass off to help him with the family business and to never shut away from any possibilities of finding my own life partner who would be good to me in the future once I’m ready for it.”

Once again, Jungkook is silent as he slowly lets everything that Tasha had just shared with him to sink in. Slowly sipping on his coffee, he begins to compare Tasha’s past to his current life. “Is that why you’ve been helping me? The reason why you took me home? Have you been planning to tell me all of this all along?”

Tasha smiles at him. “I took you home because it was what friends do to make sure the person they’re with is safe for the night. But yes, I did have a purpose for taking you with me and I have a reason for telling you all of this. I just want you to see that there is always another way. Another path to choose. We always have that choice, no matter what the world is making us believe when it comes to the silly soulmate system. It’s only a matter of whether or not we are brave enough to take it,” she slowly explains, before leaning closer once again. “I know what you’re doing. You’re giving them space to figure things out, aren’t you? That’s why you’re here instead of staying back there with her while she’s figuring things out.”

Swallowing hard, Jungkook admits how on point her words are and he can only nod to answer, earning a warm, knowing look from Tasha before she explains further, “That’s exactly what Wooyoung’s wife did for us too. She took a step back after she found out that I was his true soulmate, giving him the chance to embrace the universe’s gift—her own words.” Tasha lifts her hands and makes a gesture to depict quotation marks while laughing.

”But, instead of pushing us to be together, the time we had spent together had only helped open our eyes to see just how deep the love that they had truly was when he couldn’t find himself feeling the same deep love for me as what he had already felt for her.”

Leaning back, Jungkook takes a deep breath while taking it all in. Once again, he compares his own situation with hers, placing himself in the shoes of Wooyoung’s wife and thinking back to the reason why he is hiding all the way in Jeju, realising that he is doing the same thing as she did while you are experiencing what Tasha had gone through in the past. He was sure that taking himself out of the equation would help you figure things out and decide what would be best for you without him getting in the way. Except he is no longer sure if staying away for this long had been the best decision for himself and for everyone involved, when no matter how much he had wanted to make sure that you would be able to find your happiness, there is also a bigger part inside him that still insists to fight for you, to believe the words that you had told him about proving just how strong the bond between the two of you would be compared to what the universe keeps forcing on you.

If he wants to be honest, he has been feeling this way for quite a while. Maybe even since day one, when he was standing in Yugyeom’s studio apartment and feeling out of place and lost without you. But he just kept refusing to admit it, denying what his heart had wanted, all because he had also known that he wouldn’t be able to take his words and actions back after what he had done to you on the day he left.

Shaking his head, he accepts his fault for making such rash decisions and he regrets ever ignoring the voice inside his head that had kept telling him to stay and fight with you. Drawing a deep breath, he looks at Tasha and questions her, “How are you so open to this? How can you be so—”

“Amenable? Flexible? Carefree? Wild?” Tasha begins to fill in when he is unable to find the right word to describe her and her actions.

Jungkook grins. “Bold. Forward-thinking. And yes, easygoing, and also for being so open-minded and daring, even when it comes to believing in something that no other people had the courage to put their faith into.”

Tasha laughs softly before looking at him with a sharp look in her gaze. “Because I believe that there are far more important things out there beyond the silly soulmate system that had been created for us,” Tasha says as she pours more coffee into her empty mug, then does the same to fill Jungkook’s while she keeps talking. “It’s not like I don’t truly respect the soulmate system. But, I mean—sure, it sounds promising and completely hard to resist to have the entire universe making sure that we won’t have any problem finding someone to build our entire lives with. It truly is a gift that fates have it in them to make sure that we wouldn’t be alone in this world. It sounds like the perfect way to live knowing that there is someone out there made for us to love and to have our happiness written down for us since we were born into this world, don’t you think?”

“But—?”

“But—” Tasha grins. “Would it really be better and more real compared to the kind of love that we find for ourselves, the one that we would be willing to sacrifice everything for? If the universe can have a choice to play around with our fate—” she stops to give a pointed look on Jungkook’s wrist before continuing, “—then why can’t we have our choice to decide who to fall in love with?”

Jungkook blinks rapidly. All of a sudden, his chest feels tight and heavy when her words seem to strike him deep in his chest.

Because she is right.

And he feels like a fool for forgetting the fact that he had once believed the same thing as well.

All this time, he had always known that he has everything that anyone could have asked for and that he had found it with you. The kind of love that runs so deep that he feels his chest flutter each time he thinks about you. The love that has grown so deep that it becomes the reason why his heart is still beating at this very moment and why he has been hurting ever since the day he walked away. At first, he had truly believed that it would be best for him to step aside, just so you could embrace the gift that the universe is giving you. The gift that he had lost.

But walking away had only made him feel the pain that he has never felt before. Being away from you had only been complete torture. It makes him feel like he is dying inside, how the distance has slowly been chopping up his soul, taking it piece by broken piece that he no longer knows if he would have anything left of himself once the whole ordeal is over.

Once again, as if knowing where his mind is wandering off to, Tasha reaches out to grab his hand and gently says, “What you have with your girlfriend is real. Never doubt that part. I saw it with my own two eyes and I know exactly what I saw then when you were together. Why did you think I made all the effort of helping you with your surprise proposal if not because I believed in the love you had for each other?”

Shaking his head, Jungkook chuckles softly. “You’re right. You really did help me—a lot. And you didn’t even know what my situation was like back then, did you?”

Letting his hand go, she shrugs lightly and confesses, “I may not have seen it back then to know that you were not each other’s true soulmate, but I could sense something special going on between you. Something that was stronger than the soulmate connection that the entire world has been selling us. Call it a hunch from someone who had been there once.”

Jungkook bites his lips as he takes his time to think things over, before curiosity gets the best of him when he wonders how Tasha could be so strong and brave while he has been feeling so powerless against his own ordeal. “Have you ever felt—afraid, for defying fate? You’ve fought against them when you let your soulmate go so he could be with the one he loves, and now you’re trying to help me be together with the only person I’ve ever loved.”

With a light chuckle, Tasha gently shakes her head. “Have I been afraid of doing something so out of the ordinary and to defy the force that would be strong enough to ruin our entire lives under its will? Absolutely,” she admits to him before giving him a smug grin. “But it’s still not enough to make me stop doing it. I’ve always loved watching people chase the love that they choose, to fight for their happiness and get what they deserve. If I have the will and power to do something to help make it happen, I would do so with everything I have, knowing that it makes me feel happy by helping others feel the same thing. It gives me a sense of freedom that could heal my soul. And if that means that I’d be forever fighting against Fate to allow myself to feel this way, then I’ll do it over and over again.”

Jungkook looks down as he thinks deeply about her words, silently wondering if he would ever be able to be just as strong as she does. For the first time, after the day he came to find out that Namjoon was your soulmate, crushing every hope he had ever kept in his mind about having you in his life, he begins to find that missing sparks of hope blooming in his chest. Suddenly, the good faith that he had about his love for you returns full force after he had kept it dormant for the sake of giving you the chance to have what you had once wanted.

Now that the feeling has come back to him, the determination to fight against the universe and to get you back grows stronger. Though it doesn’t stop him from questioning himself—

Can he actually do it?

He keeps asking himself this as he thinks about fighting for his love and rebuilding the life that he has with you once again, no matter what it would cost him. But then he remembers how he had walked out and stepped away from you when you had insisted to make him stay so that you could fight alongside him to prove your love. He thinks about the past week that he was gone, knowing that the soulmate bond would have pulled you to Namjoon in his absence, leaving him to wonder—

Would it be too late for him to return home now and claim you back?

That same morning, you wake up in the same guest bedroom that you have been staying in, feeling so tired and broken.

You had kept the room dark, choosing to keep the lights off and keeping the curtains closed even when the dawn has long broken and the warm sunlight is forcing itself to come in. You cannot remember when you had fallen asleep, as you had found it hard to do so with your mind wandering all over the place while waves of emotions kept rushing through you all night to make you feel restless. The mixture of guilt, sadness, and hope, all collided into one before they all turned into despair before you were finally dragged into the darkness of your slumber only in your exhaustion.

Whatever glint of hope that you felt last night after receiving the call from Jungkook’s brother has now been replaced by self-condemnation and trepidation which keep intensifying each time the events from last night return to you. With a long exhale of sigh, you close your eyes, letting the memory replay itself in your head despite your wish to erase them and forget that they ever happened at all.

“It’s okay. Just give in. I’ll be here to hold you.”

Those were the words that Namjoon had whispered to you after he laid you down on his bed. It was obvious that he could see your fear when you were second-guessing yourself and while you were still trying to make sense of what was going on, and it was clear that he had noticed it as well when the bond between you took its form, as it gave its final effort of putting you both together.

But it was you who had pulled him down to you, and you had been the one giving him the kiss that should have sealed the deal.

You had come so close, just a step away from cementing your bond for eternity and severing the bond that you had built in your old life. You had already crossed the line merely seconds before, the remaining waves of your pleasure were still surging through you to remind you of it and your body was still calling for him. Yet, the moment you took in his scent, breathing in the warmth that was engulfing you in his embrace, something else inside you was shifting, and it was slowly winning, taking control to pull you out of the blinding haze.

And just then, the moment you closed your eyes, you realised that it was not his face that came into your mind. It wasn’t his voice nor his touch that your soul was searching for, and it snapped something inside you which slowly took away the fog that had clouded your sanity.

“Let it in. Let me in, baby. I know that deep down, you already know that this is so right.”

Those were the words that had compelled you into giving in to the bond and the sparks that had been building up between you all night. But right at that moment, as your soul began to cry out for another and started breaking apart inside you, everything about it felt so wrong.

With a sharp gasp, you gently pushed him away, breaking the kiss before it could have the chance to go further. Your heartbeat was still pacing rapidly in your chest, though each thrum was meant for a different reason, and the ache that came barrelling over you had nothing to do with him nor his presence. You had refused to open your eyes just then, unwilling to see the pain of your rejection reflecting in his eyes, something that you had no doubt would find after giving him such hope with what you had allowed to transpire.

And you simply refused to see reality, to know that the person holding you was not the one who you had truly wanted to be there and to have your heart broken once again knowing that he was not there.

But then a gentle brush of a finger on your cheek urged you to open your eyes, and you were surprised that instead of looking at you with disappointment and rage, Namjoon was staring at you with a warm, knowing smile plastered on his gorgeous face. It had taken you a moment and another wipe of his fingers on your face to realise that you had been crying, and that had been the reason he knew what was going on.

That your heart and soul had finally found their resolve to fight against the invisible force that had been taking control over you, and not even the soulmate bond could drown what your heart had truly desired.

And the one that your heart had been calling for was not him.

“I’m so sorry,” you had pleaded with him once reality hit you until your chest grew so tight you could barely breathe. You felt mortified, lost, and disgusted with yourself for allowing things to continue, and for ever giving him hope. And for coming so close to doing something more to severe what you had been trying to protect.

“Sshh—” Namjoon whispered to you, and you blinked your eyes to find him still smiling warmly, his gaze still filled with an understanding look instead of despair or disgust. “It’s okay, baby. I know.”

His gentle words had only made you cry louder, sending you into a sobbing mess as you fell apart beneath him. “I want him back.”

With a sigh, Namjoon continued to brush away your tears. “I know, baby. And he will come back to you. Even if he won’t, I’ll be the one dragging his ass back for making you cry every single night that he was gone.”

“This is—” you choked between your sobs and in the realisation that he had known how often you had cried yourself to sleep for missing Jungkook. You looked away from him, blinking away your tears so that you would be able to speak to him more clearly. Realising how vulnerable and exposed you were the moment the blissful fog faded from your mind, you pulled back and wrapped your arms around yourself, trying your best to cover your body from his eyes. “This shouldn’t have happened. None of this. I’m so sorry for allowing this to—”

“It had to happen,” Namjoon said, tipping your chin up just when you tried to hide from him. He made you look into his eyes, to be able to see that the same fog that had muddled his conscience had also faded from him and that he was able to think more logically now so he could calm you down. “We have both been focusing on the bond—with me who was feeling it for the first time and with you who kept fighting it—until it became the only thing we both felt above everything else. We had to let it happen so that we could open our eyes and see beyond that pull once it fades.”

Despite knowing that his words had been right, the way he said it to you still drew a bitter chuckle to come out of you. “Are you going to talk me out into believing that this was just one of those ‘getting it out of our system’ moments?”

“No, it’s nothing like that.” Namjoon gave you a sad smile before shrugging. “Maybe a little, but more like—” he stopped with a sigh, then reached out to grab a blanket from the other side of the bed which he then used to cover your bareness, wrapping it tightly around your body as if he wanted to keep your warm while protecting you from his roaming gaze. And he did it while he kept on talking, “—allowing yourself to see what your heart is asking for instead of what your body and mind is telling you to do.”

Keeping the blanket wrapped tightly around you, you kept your eyes low as Namjoon shifted away to find his pants and started putting them back on. “I’m so confused,” you whispered weakly to yourself, though it didn’t stop Namjoon from hearing them.

Lying beside you, Namjoon pulled you up until you were resting on his pillows, tucked nicely right next to him where he made you feel safe. “It’s okay to be confused. I know that you are. Honestly, I am too,” he gently said to you with a reassuring smile, one that didn’t truly reach his eyes. “But we’ll figure it out in the morning. I don’t think it would be wise to try and solve everything tonight, after what had just happened.”

You had taken that moment to ponder over his words, to wonder if you could truly believe everything that he was telling you. There was hope for a change simmering within you. Hope for a chance to reclaim the life that you had with the man that you truly loved. And yet the feeling fell short when you remembered how powerless you had been to stop things from carrying on, and how you had put yourself in this position despite your determination to wait for Jungkook’s return.

Namjoon must have felt your worries when he gently pulled you to him. His touch bared no lust when he held you to him, and his smile only offered to give you comfort as he laid down next to you, staying close to offer you his warmth and his company while you were shivering in your uncertainty.

“Stay with me tonight. I promised to hold you, didn’t I? Let me take care of you, _______,”

For the last time.

Those were the words that had been left unspoken, the words that had only made you feel even more guilty, knowing that you had been the one to cause the pain reflecting in his eyes when he pulled you into his arms for one last time, only to keep you safe in his hold until he was supposed to let you go.

Your chest still feels heavy when you take a look around the room. You try to ignore the feeling, however, and focus on making sure that you have everything packed with you and that you wouldn’t be leaving anything behind as you make your leave.

Once you are sure that you are completely ready to step away from this room once and for all, holding your travel bag in one hand and your purse in the other, you realise that you have never felt more resolved than ever, when you finally know what to do next.

Just a week ago, you had walked into this penthouse while feeling lost, dazed and confused from having two strong forces pulling you in two different directions. If only you had known then where to look, perhaps you wouldn’t have found your way here and things might have ended differently.

Much, much different than how things have turned out to be so far.

But you also know that you might have ended up living without knowing the answers to a lot of questions, haunted by the need to wonder about all the what-ifs and what could have been without ever knowing the truth. Without truly knowing what your soul has been searching for.

“You’re ready to leave?”

Namjoon appears in your path just as you walk out the door of your former bedroom. Looking just as weary as you are, he stares at you silently, not looking too shocked to see you packed and ready to go. His eyes fall on the bag you are carrying and his gaze softens for realising what is currently happening.

“I think it’s time. I’ve overstayed my welcome,” is the only thing you can say to him. You look at him a while longer, even if you have no clear idea what you are trying to find. To your reprieve, the pain that you had briefly seen in his eyes last night is no longer present, though you can also feel him putting up a wall when he straightens his shoulders and pushes his hands into his pocket.

Namjoon lowers his head as he smiles, and it is then when you can see a glimpse of remorse and pain flickering on his face, though you see no trace of them when he looks up at you again, all of his emotions are masked underneath the warm smile that he is giving you. Taking a deep inhale of breath, you realise how much it pains you to know that he is hiding his true feelings from you. The fact that he is masking his pain for your sake feels so wrong, but you also know that there is nothing that you can do about it. Not anymore, as you have made your choice and it had been some of the choices that you had made which had put the invisible strain that he is carrying and fighting so hard to hide. Once again, your guilt pinches at your heart, and you want nothing more than to fix things for him.

If only you know how to do it without sacrificing your soul.

Knowing that you no longer have the right to mess with his emotions, you do the only next best thing you know what to do.

“For what it’s worth, I did enjoy my time here with you and I’m grateful that we had a chance to see things clearly before moving on. I guess this way, at least, we’ll be leaving no place for all the questions and the what-ifs,” you calmly say to him, silently hoping that your words will not only be holding some truth in them for yous, but for him as well.

For years, despite thinking and believing that you had somehow moved on from his rejection, you have always known that deep down, you still had questions about what had happened. There had been times when you were up at night wondering about all the possibilities that had come from all the unknowing, while having no answers to help you find some peace in your heart to could actually heal you from your heartbreak.

You only realise now that have never once had the chance to find closure after his past rejection. Until now.

“Thank you for opening your doors for me and for allowing me to stay here. It’s been—” you softly laugh as you try to think of the perfect way to truly illustrate what you feel. “—quite a ride,” you finally say with a low chuckle, and you are pleased that it draws a smile from him too. With a sigh, you carefully add, “But I certainly won’t forget everything that we have shared for the past week, how much you have helped me and the friendship that we have built together. Thank you for your patience and for being so kind to me despite everything.”

Nodding his head, Namjoon seems to come to terms with the situation. Because the moment you find his gaze again, there is a glimpse of relief showing from his eyes. “You know that you’ll always be welcome here. My door will always be open for you whenever you need a place to run to,” he says with a smile, before quickly adding while jokingly, “But I truly hope that you won’t be needing it again so soon.”

Both of you smile and laugh at what he just said, and then his expression changes when he asks you, “I take it you’ve found out where he is?”

“Yes, his brother called me. He’s trying to see if he can help me get to Jungkook,” you reveal to him with a sigh, and you suddenly feel your chest grow tight as you recall the phone call that you had last night with Jungkook’s brother, how he had told you that a friend of his had informed him that she had met Jungkook and was watching over him for the time being.

The call had left you feeling restless, when your relief of finally getting some news of Jungkook’s whereabouts was trampled by your guilt. Though it didn’t stop you from feeling determined to get to him as fast as you can once you had slept on your raw emotions and after you woke up with a clear mind. You still have no idea how Jungkook would react if he ever finds out what you had done with Namjoon, but you would do everything to earn another chance to win him back, and you would do anything to be with the man that you love. You are even ready to spend your entire life making it up to him, as long as he gives you the chance to.

“I can help you with that. Just say the word,” Namjoon offers you, and it almost makes you laugh at the bitter fact that despite the disappointment that he must have been feeling because of you, Namjoon still wants to give a hand to help. Knowing him, there is no doubt that he is genuine with his offer.

With a wry smile, you shake your head. “You’ve done a lot for me already. But thanks for the offer,” you tell him then, looking straight into his eyes right after as you say to him, “I hope everything will go well with you in the future.”

Sighing in defeat, Namjoon gives you a smile and nods. “And for you too.”

Nodding at him, you give him one last smile before walking around him to make your way to the front door. You try your best not to tense up and to keep your chin up as you walk past him, but then he turns and calls your name gently when you are merely a few steps away from the door, his voice stopping you in your tracks.

“Would it have been possible for us to be together back then without feeling like crap?” he suddenly asks you before you even turn around to see what he is up to. Once you look over your shoulder, Namjoon lifts his shoulder in a simple shrug.

“I’m only asking before that’s what I’m feeling right now. It feels like crap because it made me happy that you were here, that I had a chance to spend time with you, to get to know you better, and for me to—” he stops and swallows hard, taking his time to find his words as he looks at you. “I loved being with you, and I know now that we would’ve been good together. But it makes me feel bad that we would have to sacrifice someone else to do so, if we ever choose to go down that route. But I also can’t help to wonder if things would have been the same as what we had this past week if I hadn’t acted like a coward and we had gotten together the way we were supposed to.”

Turning in your heels to get a better look at him, you can only shake your head. “I honestly have no good answer for that since I don’t know what would have happened if things had gone differently between us,” you regretful tell him then, stopping a moment to ponder the thought before speaking again.

“But, you know what? We could have. Maybe we would have fallen madly in love with each other once we gave each other a chance, or maybe we would have grown apart because we haven’t become the people we were meant to be if we had met then,” you say to him with a smile. “And yes, we would have been perfect for each other to the point that we’d make everyone else around us sick at how perfect we are together. But then again, sometimes things just don’t work that way. Not even if the universe had designed it to be.”

You turn to face him completely. If you are going to be absolutely honest with him, then perhaps it would be best to give him the honest truth, giving both of you the final closure that you have both needed to have for years. “That night, when I saw you in that room, I immediately fell for you so hard that it felt like my heart was trampled into pieces for believing that you wouldn’t be mine.”

Your confession seems to surprise him. Namjoon’s eyes grow wide for a brief moment before he smiles and nods at you. “I guess that’s the answer to everything,” he says, confusing you further when he suddenly seems like he has found his own resolve.

“What do you mean?”

When your gaze meets his once again, you find nothing more but clarity glowing in his eyes. “You loved me. You might even still love me now,” he says, giving you the kind of smile that no longer carries his remorse or the pain of having to let go of a huge part of his life that had been written for him. The only thing he shows you when he looks at you is relief, a sense of contentment and acceptance when he says, “But you are not in love with me.”

You flinch a little at this, and he must have caught it, because he immediately adds before you can speak in return, “And that is okay, because what you have is bigger than what we would have ever had since it is something that you have chosen for yourself, not something that had been chosen for you. You and I both know that you have always deserved to have more than that.”

Keeping your eyes on him, you know without any further explanation that he was talking about the soulmate bond, how he can see that you can have something more, just as long as you reach out for it.

For some reason, his words give you comfort. And then your mind wanders briefly to the past, to the younger version of his who had once held so much confidence and belief that he would be more superior than the soulmate bond and whatever fate was planning for him. “You said so then too, remember?” you question him while picturing the image of him standing in the kitchen area in some random fraternity house that you had never once walked into, drunkenly talking about his big dreams in front of his friends and his pretty girlfriend. “Somewhere between your words of rejection and your defiance against the soulmate bond, you had believed in it too. You had said then, in your own words, that there had to be something else beyond this soulmate system that had been designed for us. Something bigger, stronger, and perhaps it would matter more than what the universe wants us to find.”

There is a glint of something new in his eyes—is it pride? Acknowledgement? Or perhaps an understanding that he shares the same idea—when he nods. “And you have found it,” he says with a calm voice.

“I’m sorry,” you start to apologise, only to have him shaking his head.

“You don’t apologise for love,” he says, once again sighing in defeat, before he lifts his chin up. “I do, apologise, however, for not being worthy enough to hold on to you and to fight for us.”

You smile at him. “You are worthy, Namjoon,” you gently tell him.

And you mean it.

But you have given your heart and soul to another, and you are willing to fight to be with that person to the very end of your long journey.

Mr Choi-PA: Mr. Jeon has departed. We got him on the last flight of the day departing for Seoul

Tasha: Good. Thank you, Mr. Choi.

Tasha: You’re free for the night. I have nowhere else to go so I might just return to the loft once I’m done here

Mr Choi-PA: Yes, Ma’am.

Mr Choi-PA: I will be on standby at 7.30 AM to pick you up tomorrow for the meeting with Mr. Lee

With a smile on her face, Tasha types down a few more words of gratitude to send out to her driver and personal assistant before slipping the cellphone back into her purse. The elevator ride ends just then and the door opens to the rooftop bar. The same bar where she had spent hours drinking and sharing life stories with Jungkook just the night before.

After spending most of the day helping Jungkook plan out his return to Seoul, Tasha had joined her father who had come to supervise the resort while she sent Jungkook away with her driver taking care of business for her as he went back to his friend’s place to pack up his things and say goodbye. She is exhausted, drained from being a martyr as she helped a friend defy the century-old system that had been controlling all human beings in their chances of love and from spending the rest of the day going around the resort to deal with its management issues until late.

She feels so drained that there is nothing she wants to do more than to simply return to her loft and lie down in bed. Perhaps she could catch up with some sleep, taking back all the hours that she had lost from having her impulsive runt with Hyuk yesterday night.

But on her way back, she felt the sudden urge to have a nightcap before bed. Only that the idea of having one back in her loft while she is alone at home had sounded so sad. She felt the need to be in the crowd for some reason, even if it is only for the sake of drowning her thoughts with the loud sounds of people chattering and live music playing on the stage, which had been the reason why she made her way back up here before she would retreat for the night.

The bar counter doesn’t seem as crowded as the night before, and she finds no problem in finding an empty seat where she could settle herself into. She looks around, finding Hyuk being too busy tending the VIP guests on the other side of the floor to notice her, so she turns to call out the new bartender servicing the guests tonight to get her fill.

“Martini. Dry,” she immediately orders her usual.

“Do you want to open a tab tonight, Ms. Lee?”

She quickly shakes her head. “No, I’m just having this one before I go.”

One drink to celebrate yet another love story being written in history.

As she takes slow sips of her drink, savouring it instead of downing it so she could find a moment to relax, Tasha pulls out her phone, scrolling down the messages that she had been receiving all afternoon. A smile comes to her face when she comes across the last message that she had exchanged with Wooyoung, when he had let her know that he would be flying in with his wife next weekend for a short vacation while asking if they could meet. She feels excited as she imagines telling Wooyoung and his wife the story of Jungkook and his quest to find love, as the three of them had grown close after their saga that many years ago.

She suddenly feels the urge to laugh when she thinks about how her relationship with her soulmate had evolved over the years. How they have grown to have a sibling-like relationship since then. Even his wife has become a part of it, all because they still care about each other despite everything that had transpired between them.

She continues scrolling, stopping on the message that she had sent to Jungkook’s brother last night after watching Hyuk drop Jungkook in the guest bedroom back at her loft. It had been a relief that she had taken her time to exchange numbers with some of the family members who had attended the dinner party at Bovine that night a few months back, making it possible for her to send the news to Jungkook’s family before she would make sure to convince him to return.

Placing the phone back in her purse, Tasha tries to enjoy the moment, though she cannot help but let her mind wander off to Jungkook one last time. She is not the kind of person who enjoys meddling in someone else’s business. She had almost ignored the voice in her head that kept telling her to make an exception this time when she saw Jungkook last night at the bar.

Just like what she had told Jungkook this morning, Tasha has always been someone who adores romance. She may have never once truly experienced true love, yet she still loves the concept of love itself, and she still yearns for it just like how everyone else would wait for their own happy endings. That was the reason why she had taken it a stride when Wooyoung confessed to her for having someone that he had already loved before they met and how she agreed to stay with them as they tried to figure things out until the day they officially wed.

It was also the reason why she had felt such a strong pull in her soul to help Jungkook. And now that she had done what was needed, she cannot help but feel pleased with herself for listening to that inner voice of hers, to know that despite whatever the outcome might be, it was truly worth it when she saw the determination in Jungkook’s eyes when he told her that he was ready to return to Seoul to get back to you.

Lifting her glass of drink, she looks closely at the glowing liquid as she murmurs softly to no one in particular, “Isn’t love such a funny thing?”

“I’m sorry?”

A deep voice suddenly speaks to her. She snaps up and looks over to the man sitting beside her, who had, no doubt, heard what she had just said and is now looking at her curiously.

Tasha falls silent for a moment, astounded by the sight of the gorgeous man and the fact that he is looking straight into her eyes. Already well trained to regain her composure, she covers her stumble and shock with an easy laugh. “Oh, it’s nothing. I was just thinking out loud.”

The man laughs with her. “I do that all the time too, mostly when the music is loud like this and you can’t hear your own thoughts,” he says, pointing at the live band playing on the stage across the room. Tasha follows his gaze before turning back to him.

“You’re not enjoying the band?”

“Oh, I’m enjoying the music. It’s just…loud,” he says, chuckling at himself. And Tasha is surprised to find just how comforting his voice is when he does that. “But I honestly don’t mind it. I just got out of a different kind of party and this is the scene that I needed.”

“Another party?” she asks, raising her pretty eyebrows curiously. She finally takes a look closer at him then, scanning his looks—from the folded tuxedo jacket that he has hung on the back of his seat, the folded sleeves of his shirt, the bowtie that has been left hanging loose on his collar—

“Let’s see…Nice tux, sleek hair, must have been a fancy one. And something proper. I’m guessing it was a wedding?”

He raises his eyebrows, looking surprised. Judging from the way he laughs while looking astonished, she knows that she has hit the jackpot even before she confirms it himself. “You’re mighty observant. How did you know?”

Acting coy about it, Tasha lightly shrugs. “I work with people. I manage things to make sure that I can keep people entertained, so I’ve learned to read them to know how I could please them and fulfil their needs,” she says, stopping when she sees him making a curious face at her comment. It takes her a moment to realise that he might have taken it the wrong way.

With a chuckle, she waves her hand at him. “Oh no, darling. Not that kind of work. No offence to the ladies who work in that field, though,” she says, still giggling at his reaction, thinking of how adorable he looks whenever he is confused or lost. “I work in management, and I manage places where people would go to when they need to wind down and have fun. This bar, for example, is just one of them.”

The man nods, exhaling a soft chuckle as he says, “Ah, gotcha,” before he finally introduces himself as Matthew. Matthew Kim, a freelance developer who has been staying at a different resort on the island for the past couple of nights for the wedding he attended. She keeps repeating his name in her head for some reason, even as she gives him hers.

“So, what’s with the drinks?” she asks him curiously once she remembers that the resort did host a simple wedding reception at one of its open courts which isn’t supposed to end yet. “Did they not serve you enough alcohol at the party?” Even if she had called it a night and had vowed to not spare her mind in anything related to work, she cannot help but to start compartmentalising, trying to take notes to see if there is something that her staff might be missing out on.

Tossing his drink down his throat, Matthew laughs and shakes his head in return. “No, no, I’m just here to celebrate. I couldn’t do it properly earlier when I had too many eyes on me,” he says while raising his glass to her. “It was my soulmate’s wedding, after all.”

Her world immediately stops. “Your…soulmate?”

Matthew orders another round of drinks for the two of them while any plan that she has made about ending the night short simply vanishes into the back of her mind when he begins sharing his story. How he met his soulmate during high school reunion—she was an old schoolmate of his who had moved out to the States back in high school, before they ever had the chance to realise they were soulmates—and how their reunion had happened too late—for she had fallen in love with someone else while he had claimed himself married to his job and current lifestyle—and how he had found that there was no need for them to change everything when the bond between them could never change their feelings for each other, since they had only considered each other as friends. Unlike Tasha’s or Jungkook’s case, Matthew simply stepped aside to let his soulmate continue on with her life, without him, and he had chosen to accept her invitat

In His Hands || knj

⤷Genre:romance; fluff; boyfriend!namjoon x girlfriend!reader.

⤷Warnings:themes of insecurity.

Namjoon’s hands were your haven.

And you were simply entranced by them, from the meticulous sculpt of his slim fingers that rivaled the finest art pieces to how they entangled with your own so perfectly.

You loved nothing more than to simply admire them from afar, but once your eyes delved into the perfectly sculpted crevices and nooks of his appendages, little else mattered.

And though they often brought graceless destruction to so much around him, there was no place you felt was safer than when your hands intertwined with his. And when his thumb tenderly rubbed soothing shapes into your palm, there was nothing that could touch you.

So you loved to merely touch them at all times, and every opportunity to hold them within your own was never overlooked; much to your shy boyfriend’s dismay.

Even now, as your own hands delicately played with his lithe fingers, not even the glittering Cosmos could capture your attention.

The image of his deft fingers curling around his fountain pen as he wrote whatever lyrics he conjured was almost far too tempting to merely forget, which resulted in your thievery of his limbs.

It was only once the twinkle of your eyes faded from your lover’s view did he care for your play as you placed your palm against his, seemingly comparing the two.

“What’s wrong, little peach?” His voice spilled from his lips like a soothing tea, waiting to warm and comfort you after a long day.

Your brows furrowed as your fingers hesitantly slipped from his own and a soft sigh pushed past your lips. “Nothing.”

A frown fell upon his dewy lips whilst his broad hands pulled away from your grasp just to wrap around your own that hid from him within your sleeves.

“I know when somethings bothering you, peach. Don’t lie to me.”

Though his demands were delicate to your ears, you winced at his soft whispers, you hated it when his voice gently delved into the soft tone that made you want to open your whole heart to him, and never twist the truth in the slightest.

Namjoon was much like a truth serum, the softest moments with him could easily pour the truth from your lips, without much of an effort from your boyfriend.

“It’s just so stupid, but I’ve been thinking about our hands.” You awkwardly confessed only for a wordless nod and a gentle smile from your boyfriend, that urged you to tell him all that troubled you.

“And how beautiful yours are- just like the rest of you,” you gestured to his strong body, before a quiescent chuckle bubbled from him just to flutter your heart before he beckoned you into his lap, “and mine just don’t feel worthy.”

His strong arms tangled around your waist whilst his nose tenderly traced your cheek, and his fingers you adored so much filled the empty spaces between your own.

“Nothing from you will ever be stupid to me.” He assured you, tapping the tip of your nose with his fingers before he brought your hands between your chests.

“And you should know these are so beautiful.”

He praised ever so softly, as if a breath would shatter the hands his fingertips grazed, before he carefully pressed his lips to your smallest finger and dipped his lips to next, he kissed every imperfection and blemish ten times before repeating his soft kisses ten times more.

Once he drew his velvety lips from the back from your hands, the warmth he placed within your belly burned along with your curiosity.

“Why?”

His head fell back just enough to look into your eyes as his hands rested upon the small of your back and hips, as goosebumps followed the path of his fingers along your spine.

“Because each one of them are yours.” He stated, as if it were an answer so clear, written within classic literature as a fact of life, and you were baffled at just how perfect he was to you.

Your lips parted in the stunned silence he hushed you with, unable to comprehend an answer to his beautiful comforts; but you hadn’t need to say anything at all for him interlace his hands with yours, to emphasize just how immaculately they joined together.

“If they weren’t, they could never fit so perfectly with mine.” He whispered, his eyes never leaving your tangled fingers until his twinkling eyes looked into yours.

“Everything about you is perfect for me, little peach.”

Perhaps it was the sincerity of his eyes locked upon yours, or how his hand that wasn’t wrapped so tightly within your own gently tucked your hair behind your ear, but you were far too wrought with his words to form your own.

So you did all you knew to do, you wordlessly mashed your lips into his own that had simply been pleading with you to kiss them at last.

The hold he had upon your hand tightened as his other hand cupped your cheek with a gentleness you could only expect from Namjoon, as he sweetly returned your shy kisses.

He gave you all of his understanding and love until your fears were irrelevant, all the while your hand remained tightly enclosed within his.

Tag list: @holaaaf@yourwonderbelle@lolalee24

                             Fake Texts

SVT

#1 - So, Who is your bias? (Gyu&Hosh)

#2 - So, who is your bias? (DK, Gwan, Won)

#3 - So, who is your bias? (Won&Gyu)

Babe? I think I need stitches… (Ver)

BTS

I need answers, Jimin

So, when isyour birthday? (V&JK)

Jungkook confesses

Jin has an emergency

Taehyung asks you out

Christmas with Yoongi

EXO

We Don’t Talk Anymore (D.O) 

Lip Rings (Baek)

Sehun and Bubble Tea

                              Stories

SVT

Wonwoo - Late Shift - F

Hoshi - Nurse - F

Dino - Movie Night - F

Wonwoo - Unaware - F

Wow, this is a long time no see, is it not? :) I hope you enjoy this slightly angsty story. I will post an update about my life in a few days, I promise!! <3 

- 

Namjoon looked up from the documents he was frowning at as a knock sounded on his door. When he saw you slipping into his office and clicking the lock behind you, he couldn’t help but smile, already leaning back in his chair and spreading his legs slightly, a clear invitation to take a seat. You did so with a Cheshire grin on your face, hand immediately smoothing down the strands of Joon’s hair, quite uselessly. You’re about to mess them up soon, either way.“Report,” his voice rumbled playfully, large palms settling over your hips, dragging you closer to him so your chests pressed together.

“Time for your mandatory break, leader,” you played along, thumb swiping against the bags under Joon’s eyes in a nurturing manner. The chest pressed up against yours shook with laughter, and Joon slid his hands up your body to cup at your cheeks and pull you in for a kiss that was long overdue.

You couldn’t exactly pinpoint the moment when you two became an item. You probably couldn’t even say when this began.

There was that one time the two of you couldn’t get back to the tower in time, a while ago when it was still necessary for every able-bodied individual to participate in runs. It was a mixture of adrenalin, fear of the future and the extreme need to be held that had the two of you reaching for each other like people starved.

After that, you had no talk about what you were. The two of you weren’t exactly a secret, Jungkook walked in on the two of you more than he’d like (hence the newly installed lock on Joon’s office door), but you weren’t as public about your relationship as Hobi and the Doctor.

This was enough for you, you settled with a little sigh as your lips molded against his, and you wiggled in Joon’s lap for comfort.

As you rubbed against him, Namjoon groaned deep in his throat, hands sliding down the expanse of your back to perch on your ass, swatting at it as you giggled at the rumbled “behave” that left his lips.

Namjoon led the tower with a firm hand, but it never slipped into dictatorship or terror as you had heard from other groups. He fairly often offered his position up for taking and consulted each decision with as many people as he could.

He was a good leader, fair, kind, but also able to make decisions a few would. He relied on the whole group, and he was a shoulder you could lean on when the night got a little too dark.

And that’s what you hoped you were to him at this point.

Many times Joon was the first one to rise and the last to sleep, hunched over maps of scavenged territories, scheduled runs, and inventory documents, trying to figure out the necessary steps that needed to be done. Even though he no longer participated in runs, he was still as active as he was before, when he was jumping from roof to roof.

You felt his body relax underneath you, the lazy smile that stretched over his lips evident as he trailed kisses down your neck. The tenseness of his shoulders disappeared under your touch, which you encouraged with a hum, gently grinding down into his crotch. Joon responded in kind, nipping at your neck in playful warning.

“If you keep this up, I won’t get back to work when I’m supposed to,” he warned and you laughed, scratching at his scalp.

“Oh my god, I would totally hate if you ended up kissing me all afternoon. Please don’t,” sarcasm heavy on your tongue, you laughed when Joon sent another swat to your ass.

You dipped down to kiss him once more, when you suddenly felt your skin vibrate in something you hadn’t experienced in a while. You couldn’t have been imagining it, because Joon tensed up as well, brows furrowing as he tried to locate the source of the sound.

As if a switch went off, it both came to you at the same time and you few off his lap, ripping the door open as Joon grabbed at the radio, ordering all runners to find near shelters and get out of sight.

From the windows, you saw the military truck, mounted with numerous blades, spikes and spears which were getting overwhelmingly weighed under by the mass of dead bodies that blindly followed the booming music resonating from the two venue sized speakers on top of the truck.

All the masses of undead had flown to the source of disturbance, looking like ants from the top of the building. With how loud the truck was, you knew it was not only the walkers that were coming, but also the rabid virals that were much quicker.

You reached the entrance to the tower out of breath and turned on the electric traps while grabbing at the radio stationed near the two alert guards.

“The entrance is armed, I repeat, the entrance is armed,” you huffed, trying to catch your breath.

“Do NOT return to the tower,” but you watched with mouth agape as someone sprinted around the corner, two virals on their trail. Before you could say anything, the person launched themselves in the air, somersaulting over the electrified fence and landing in the rubble on the other side.

The mindless zombies ran straight into the trap, and before they could attempt to flee, their nerves were charred and the smell of rotten burning flesh got in the air.

Quickly shaking off, the runner rose and climbed the barricades to safety. Jungkook was bleeding from where he cut his palms as he landed in the rubble, and he had a smaller gash on his forehead, but other than that he was fairly okay, and it was okay for you to smack him up the side of his head for scaring the soul out of you, something you just told him. Jungkook grinned sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck.

“Sorry, noona,” he murmured, wiping at his bloodied brow. “The tower was the closest safehouse for me.”

“And the one near the van?” you handed out the melee weapons to the two guards- after the drama with the girl who saved Yoongi’s life, guns were forbidden by the entrance, replaced by spiked bats, axes and machetes.

“It’s overrun. Some of the virals smashed through the front entrance and there were already some walkers in there.” your heart dropped as you heard this. Before you could ask, Jungkook beat you to it.

“None of ours were there. I checked it out and cleaned some of the walkers when the two virals saw me.” you sighed out in relief, walking over to the windows. The music was harder to hear now, slowly going farther away, leaving behind empty streets. The further away the car was, the more runners began to check in.

Hope was just fine, monitoring the situation from the nearby watchtowers. Yoongi took the opportunity to practice his aim and test out of well his homemade silencer worked.

And when you looked over at Jungkook, he had a look on his face as if he was the king of the world. His smugness and the amount of injuries on him didn’t match him just escaping two virals.

You eyed him warily.

“What did you do?” he shook the backpack in his hand, before throwing it to you.

“Finally got there.” your heart got stuck in your throat as you wasted no time in ripping it open, eyes almost glittering in happiness at the amount of pills that spilled out.

“You didn’t!” you exclaimed and immediately rummaged through it, checking what he got. Painkillers, cough drops, anti-inflammatory pills, disinfectants, numerous bandages at the bottom, and so much more.

“I wasn’t quite sure what to take, so I just got the basics. When hyung writes me a list, I’ll go back at take some more.”

“Did you keep it open?” Jungkook shook his head.

“Lured in two walkers and then locked the door. Covered it with some rubble, just like I found it. I hid some things that seemed to look important away and ransacked the place, so it looks like it’s been raided. Tried to do more, but I heard the music.” Jungkook frowned, but nevertheless you threw your arms around his neck, hugging him tight. You knew how low you were running on some specific medicine, and just this backpack stocked you up for weeks.

“You’re a hero, Kookie,” you cooed, pulling back to press a kiss against the smudged cheek. Underneath the soot, you could see the blush shining through as a tiny giggle escaped his lips.

“Ah, noona…” he mumbled in embarrassment, wiping at his forehead. The wound didn’t look very dangerous, but you still took it up to pull out one of the disinfectants Jungkook scavenged to clear it out. The two of you shuffled away from the entrance, leaving the two guards to peer over the ledge and make sure no stray walkers found their way inside.

“So, you saw the van even before?” you asked as you soaked a piece of cloth with the alcohol. Jungkook winced before he nodded.

“Yeah, they went down the main road. There was quite a bit of walkers behind them, because of the music. The women also shot at them, so it brought even more traffic in.”

“Women?” you jumped, not even realizing when Namjoon joined the two of you. Jungkook’s eyes twinkled as he looked up at his hyung, nodding.

“Yeah, they had assault rifles and also explosives. They threw some in the crowds every now and then, thinning the herd.”

“Did you recognize anyone there?” you gently pressed your thumb against the crease between Kook’s eyebrows, as he frowned in thought.

“I don’t think so. I’m not sure, they had these weird masks over their faces.”

“Masks?”

“Yeah, like red masks with a white hand over it? Remember Lord of the Rings, hyung? Something like that.” It was Namjoon’s turn to frown, his look souring. You reached out, grabbing at his hand in comfort, but the squeeze he returned was feeble at best.

“Damn,” he cursed, running a hand through his hair and biting at his lower lip in frustration.

“I gotta go.” your stomach dropped, as he turned on his heel, leaving both you and Kook staring after him in alarm. Both of you turned to look at each other, puzzled and confused. Torn between wanting to follow him and ask what’s going on and to stay behind and tend to Jungkook’s wound, you silently watched as Namjoon took the bare necessities and ordered the electric trap to be turned off, before he disappeared over the ledge, leaving the building.

“Where did he go, noona?”

You wished you could answer him.

-

It has been a while since Namjoon had gone out alone. It has been a while since he had gone out, period, but even when he did assign himself a run, the others made sure he would be accompanied by the more experienced runners. There was not much need for him to be with someone, anyways- the streets were almost cleared out completely. If there wasn’t as much rubble and occasional fires sprouting up, he could pretend as if no apocalypse happened in the first place.

The wind was blowing softly, ruffling through his hair and bringing the stench of death to his nostrils. The smell that would have made him puke just mere months ago now seems like something natural to him. He tenses only once the stench increases, signifying the approach of an enemy; luckily, he seems to be following the van’s tracks meticulously, because all the fast virals are gone, and only a straggler shuffling from inside appears here and there. Even so, he doesn’t take any chances and opts travelling on rooftops when possible.

He heard of the rumors, but he didn’t want to believe them. It seemed surreal, but seeing the van on his own eyes, and hearing Jungkook speak of the people using it confirmed his suspicions.

He travelled swiftly, jumping from one roof to another, using the ground only if absolutely necessary. There weren’t many walkers he offed, some stragglers who got stuck when the van passed their way, only now getting loose. He still had some time left before the sun went down, but he didn’t want to waste any chances.

The army base on the outskirts of town was said to be abandoned and overrun with dead soldiers. Since there is a theory that the sounder the body was before the infection, the more dangerous zombie it would create, people steered clear from the institution of possibly extremely agile undead shuffling about. The closer he got, the more disposed bodies appeared to be lying on the ground. Here and there, he saw crucified zombies, warning signs for the living to turn back, and yet he ignored them all. Normally, he wouldn’t so easily walk into a human settlement; just because his people and the tower were friendly didn’t mean that the others wanted to keep humanity afloat. He already heard of gangs overpowering smaller groups, of mafia hoarding the important supplies and trading them for guns or people. There was talk of human trafficking, of gladiator style games being set up where prisoners desperately fought against unleashed zombies without a weapon.

He might be making a grave mistake, Namjoon thought to himself, frowning, as he neared the reinforced gates of the institution. Already from afar, he could see at least three assault rifles pointed at him, the women wielding them growling at him to state the reason why he came. He came closer, hands in the air.

“Are you the Harpies?” Namjoon called out, trying to stay calm even though he knew his voice attracted potential undead lurking afar.

“What’s it to you?” one of the guards scoffed back, hoisting the gun higher up.

“I’m your leader’s husband.”

-

The headquarters of the Harpies was full of life, and mostly female. Since he was brought in, he has not seen a man, but instead was met by a horde of battle-toughened women who eyed him suspiciously. It wasn’t surprising; he wasn’t one of them. There was no white handprint on him, indicating his allegiance to the group. The placement of the handprint didn’t seem to be of importance: he saw it on the crown of a bald woman’s head, over clothing, printed over someone’s throat in a ghastly reminder of how the virus has society in a choke-hold.

Weapons also seemed to be heavily distributed amongst the members. There was not a single woman without some kind of weapon, be it an assault rifle all the way down to a knife strapped over the waist.

After patting him down and disposing of his weapons (“We might give them back…if we don’t forget,” crooned the guard with a sly grin as she slid his handgun from the holster hidden under his shirt), Namjoon was led down the hangar, instructed to keep his eyes forward. He seemed to attract attention; did they think of him as a hostage? Did he freely turn himself over to the enemy, the sudden thought came to his head. What if they would hold him hostage and blackmail the tower for pharmaceutics or food? A weight suddenly set over his shoulders. He and Yoongi had a mutual understanding on how to deal with situations like these; calmly assess if the price is adequate. If not, see if there is a different way to get one of them out. If not, establish a shrine of remembrance for the fallen comrade, because having one dead is better than dozens. You flashed through his mind just as he reached the end of the hangar, and the door to the former commander’s office opened.

A woman stood with her back to him, pondering over a huge map which spread all over one wall. Her hair slicked back, held in a tight braid.

“Boss, there is some guy who says he knows you,” came the introduction from one of the guards. Immediately, the woman scoffed.

“Who the fuck has the balls to come over he-” and as she turned and sighted Namjoon, her grumbling cut off, the frown on her face replaced by a ghost of a smile he had remembered from before.

“Namjoon,” she breathed out, waving the guards away with a flick of her wrist. Her voice. It still haunts him in his dreams sometimes, calling out for him. And he usually wakes up, the presence of her name on his lips.

“Mina.”

-

There were three hours left before the sun came down, and yet you still couldn’t stop pacing. Namjoon broke the most vital rules one has to abide when they go out: always say where you’re going and have some kind of communication channel on you. Namjoon broke both, and it was unlike him, and it freaked you out.

You tried to entertain yourself by doing other tasks; bringing Jungkook up to the doctor to make sure there were no other injuries on him, before dumping him off at his room to rest. You then took his bag over to Seokjin, who almost wept with happy tears at the sight of so many necessary medicines being dumped on his desk. You catalogued all of them and then made changes on the roster of most vital items the runners had to keep their eyes out for. It did put your mind somewhat at ease, knowing that there were so many items taken off there, and that there is a place where you can go and restock.

That made you call up Jimin and one more runner, marking the pharmacy on their maps and sending them off to see if they can find other necessary items. There was still enough time, as the pharmacy was shockingly close. How could they have missed it?

On your way back from assigning their run, you passed by Yoongi and the girl who rescued him; she recently underwent restorative surgery to have her ankle put back into place, which rendered her basically immobile. The senior runner took it up to help her get from spot A to B. You were glad to see that she is getting used to the tower. Being in isolation for so long can seriously harm a human being, but she is slowly making progress to grow more accustomed to the life here. The kids seem to help- they like her voice and so she and Yoongi make bedtime reading rounds every now and then, reading from the frayed books that were left behind by former residents. Thinking about children had you turning on your heel, walking over to the Teacher. She has been quiet on supplies for a while, especially because Donghun always seemed to scoff at any supplies she asked for. You didn’t agree with him- school was necessary even in times like this, to teach the children basic facts about the world, and to give them a semblance of what normal life looked like.

At first she resisted, affirming she needs nothing new, but seeing that the walls of the make-shift classroom have doodles all over them confirmed that they do need some sort of paper, and maybe if they were lucky, some arts and crafts supplies to keep the children busy. You also took note of her state; it seemed to be a struggle for her to get up from the floor, and the cushion probably isn’t cutting it anymore as a good seat. You will soon need diapers and possible baby formula.

You visited the doctor afterwards, mentioning the new possible addition to the tower, and asked her if there are any specific items she will need for the procedure. As Joon still didn’t turn on his radio or tracker, you had nowhere to be and the initial check-up for the vital things for birthing turned into an inventory checkup of the medical resources. Even though the whole tower voluntarily gave it up in favor of disinfectants, you found out that you were running low on alcohol, and you immediately informed the current runners outside to swipe up whatever hard liquor they could get their hands on. Jimin just sent you a message, informing you on their trip to  the pharmacy- they found everything on the list and more, but still decided to stock up on medicine the tower already had an abundance of - if needed, they could trade it for other material in the long run.

The sun was already low on the horizon as you left the doctor’s office. With a shaky hand, you raised the radio to your lips, voice so unsure you almost couldn’t let a sound out.

“Joon?” his name got swallowed by the static, and the more you listened to the gritty sound of nothingness coming back at you, taunting you, the more your heart tightened in fear. What is happening?

-

Namjoon would never expect to meet her again in these circumstances; her offering him tea in her great office. Despite being a leader, it was evident that Mina was out on the van mission as well. Her arms, already blackened by new tattoos that ran from her shoulders down to her wrists in bold strikes, had blood splattered all over them. She followed his gaze, smirking.

“Sorry about that,” she said nonchalantly, as she wiped down a bit of brain matter from her bicep. “Didn’t get enough time to get ready.” Giving up on her task, she dropped the towel in a nearby bin, sitting back in her chair.

“I wasn’t expecting company, you know.” To this, Namjoon chuckled himself. “To be quite honest, I didn’t think I would be going around making visits either.” it was strange, seeing her like this, so familiar and yet so strange. The face staring at him was the first thing he saw in the morning for many days, and yet looking at her now didn’t evoke the same giddiness of love as it had before.

He was filled with apprehension. He felt like he was locked inside a cage with a sleeping tiger, not knowing whether he fed or not.

“Your van stirred up quite a bit of trouble for us.” Mina nodded, lifting her legs to rest them on her desk. “Yeah, we usually don’t go down there, but we noticed an increased number of walkers.” Her striking eyes pierced his, and the breath stuttered in his chest. Even though he felt like he didn’t know her, Mina was still beautiful.

“Was it from you?”

“No. We are keeping a good job at staying whole.” at in that moment, as something flashed through Mina’s eyes, he knew he shouldn’t have said that. Something along the lines of pain flickered in them, but it was gone as quickly as it came. Mina gave him a wry smile.

“I’m glad to hear that.”

Silence spread among them; nobody quite knew what to say. If he still had it, Namjoon would’ve been fidgeting with his wedding band at that moment. But that comfort was lost in the apocalypse.

“And so, what are you doing here?” Mina snapped from her thoughts, a smile spreading across her face.

“The world evidently has gone to shit, Namjoon. It has been months, and there has been no outside contact from any government institution. There has been no cure for the bite, apart from immediate amputation if a limb was the source of the disease.” Kicking away from her desk, Mina stood up, walking over to the large map painted on the wall. Namjoon took it as an invitation to join her, studying the various symbols spread across the area of the town.

“At this point, we don’t operate under the presumption that the people might get better. We expect things will just go downhill from now on. And we need to start cleaning up.” Namjoon’s stomach dropped at her final sentence. The purge, something Namjoon strongly opposed and tried to stop, is going to happen. He looked up from the map to stare at his former wife’s profile, somewhat stunned. How a woman who was adamant about leading the ants out of their kitchen instead of killing them could lean over a map of the city they built their life in and actively plan to get rid of their neighbors, their co-workers, their…

The door slammed open and a woman with a smile that could light up the room entered. Mina’s head snapped up and she grinned fully at the newcomer, opening her arms, which the woman took as an invitation to jump into her embrace. Her movements were so full of life, so active, Namjoon only later noticed that her arm was crudely cut at the elbow, something that did not seem to slow her down in the slightest. The white handprint went over the stump from where her forearm would grow.

Namjoon choked at his spit when his former wife and the newcomer shared a kiss, this being the first time they saw each other since Mina returned from the vehicle mission. Not knowing what to do, Namjoon screened the room, trying to find something, anything he could keep his eyes on while his wife greeted her lover. Hearing her chuckle, he turned to her, a sly grin throning on her face. With one arm still wrapped around her lover’s waist, she pointed to the area around her neck with a suggestive lifted eyebrow.

“I see you’ve also been busy in your tower, Joon.” red seeped into his cheeks as he pressed down on the new bruise you left behind, and the thought of your earlier escapades made his stomach clench with guilt. He left without telling anyone his whereabouts, without checking in. There was still a couple of hours left for him to return, he analyzed as he looked out the window. It was only after Mina spoke that her lover seemed to have acknowledged his presence.

“Darling, this is Namjoon. He leads a group downtown.” She tilted her head in curiosity.

“So you met during the raid today?” Mina laughed at the same time as Namjoon smiled.

“No, we’ve known each other even before the apocalypse. He probably saw our mark and it reminded him of me.” Mina hit the nail on its head. He still remembers the white handprints on the red wall, ones he had passed every time he went to work. Her lover laughed, shaking her head.

“What did you come here to do, Namjoon? Are you here to trade?”

The handprints on the wall stood out, blooming from the bottom, and crowning out into a tree. Namjoon’s bigger palmprint was always complemented with Mina’s slender fingers.

He shook his head. “I came to offer a chance to merge groups.” Mina, whose smile was still civil up to that point, turned sour. With a tightening of her arm, she pulled her lover back to her, pressing a firm kiss to her temple.

“Hyeri, love. Can you give us some privacy? I’ll tell you everything tonight.” Hyeri, seemingly sensing something important from her lover, nodded in understanding. She returned the gesture, kissing the tip of Mina’s nose, which made her giggle slightly, before taking leave.  

The tree seemed to travel through the history of their relationship. Some palm prints would hold small keepsakes, such as the movie tickets of their first date, an old key to the first apartment they rented together, pictures of them with their families, friends…

As the door clicked shut, Mina’s gaze turned cold.

“You want to collaborate with the Harpies?” her voice was unlike the one he knew for so many years, and it made a shiver run down his spine.

“We have many doctors,” he tried to appease the anger in the woman’s face. “Scientists even, ones that are working on trying to find a cure…”

“And have they been successful?” she cut him off, leaning back against the wall. Only then he saw that the wall was covered with pictures of women. Some had a red “X” placed over them. Namjoon knew very well what that meant.

The tree trunk continued with pictures from their wedding. He still vividly remembers the feeling of the day, but the visual aspect of it disappeared in the smoke of the destroyed city. The pictures are still probably stuck to the wall, back in their own apartment, with everything else that makes his heart tug in pain.

“No…I mean, n-not yet, but they could be! Mina, those are our people out there.”

“They’re not.” Mina’s glare was stone-cold, and if he did not see the white of her knuckles, he would have thought this was easy for her to speak of.

Their wedding pictures were followed by pictures of house renovations. They bought a run-down apartment near the center of town, and it took a while and many pain-filled days to mold the place in what they hoped would be the home that they would grow old in. It was in a great location; supermarkets were nearby, the public transport was a minute away, parks were near, bordering with a kinder garden.

“They’re not our people. If you need to tell yourself that to appease your survivor’s guilt, I completely understand that. But they stopped being human the second their eyes turned grey and they reached out to bite at you.” Namjoon clenched his jaw, looking away from his former wife.

The following pictures on the family tree were of Namjoon and Mina looking bright and happy. Pictures of Mina’s body. A black and white grainy picture which only doctors could decipher but held so much happiness.

“Everybody deals with this pandemic their way, Joon. I cannot sit around and try to keep my women safe, knowing that every day there is more of them and less of us. I need to work on trying to give my people a sense of fulfillment, and if it is by killing the monsters and ensuring our safety, so be it. If it is marked with the price of some of mine dying or losing limbs in the fight, so be it.”

The bundle of sheets held the most precious treasure of them all, and it hung from the family tree as a valuable fruit. And the two types of handprints would be joined by another.

“What if it is reversible?” he found that he couldn’t speak aloud. The words were as fragile as his belief in them, just barely above a whisper.

“What if we can bring back all those that are suffering at this point?”

“And what if we can’t, Namjoon? What if they keep mutating, and there will be a tipping point where they will overpower us?”

He still remembers the days when he would play fight with her. Where he would act as if the tiny hands pushing at his calf were strong enough to topple him down. He would still wake up in a sweat, shivering as he dreamt of a dark lake where the same small hands were pulling him under.

“I don’t think I can go around and systematically kill them all, Mina…what about…what about us?” his eyes held too much pain, and it made Mina step up to him and cup his face in her palm. The way she brushed under his eye made him almost believe none of this happened. It almost made him believe that she just woke him up to coax him to a breakfast and then work. He almost didn’t want to open his eyes.

He saw them. He saw Mina, holding their daughter. He saw his firm, he saw his colleagues still alive, he saw him and Yoongi drinking beers by the river. He almost thought all of this was just a horrid, horrid nightmare.

But then he opened his eyes, and he was still standing in Mina’s office. He saw Mina, eyes full of pain and inherent understanding that there might not be another time they meet. Her hand slid down to his neck, brushing against the hickey that you left behind, and her eyes filled with tears. The last time he saw her crying was when she left him, running off with the protype version of the harpies. The last time he saw her crying…

“Our relationship died when our daughter reached out for me with the intention to kill instead of love.” her voice cracked. Something broke in him, and he gathered Mina in his arms. He embraced his wife. The woman that he studied with, dated with, fell in love with. He held tight both the woman who gave birth to their only child and killed it away three years later.

“I will die trying to kill them all, Joon.” The hug couldn’t have lasted more than mere minutes, but it felt like hours. When Mina pulled away from him, she wiped at her eyes viciously. Turning towards the window, she took a deep breath, and Namjoon could see how she visibly tried to hide all the pain behind the wall of hatred she built. The sun was almost down. He had less than an hour to get back, and he felt tired. So, so tired.

“If you need the help of the Harpies, we will be there. In return, we do expect your help in regards with medical assistance if one of us falls ill. However, we prefer death to undeath.”

She turned to him, and he no longer saw his wife.

“If you see me stumbling around the town, Namjoon…please, kill me. I don’t want to be them.”

“I’m really sorry, Mina. I…” I didn’t want this to happen. I didn’t want us to end this way, on the opposite spectrum of life. I didn’t want to leave the body of our only child underneath the tree of memories we grew for ourselves.

All these words were stuck in his throat and didn’t want to leave, and yet Mina understood them all. She smiled at him sadly, secretly glad he did not continue.

“I know, Namjoon. You should go, before the sun falls down.”

She led him down the compound, and returned his weapons, as promised. As he turned to say goodbye to his wife, he saw Hyeri standing on the side. She reciprocated his small nod with a wave of her hand.

“Good luck, Mina.”

“Stay safe, Namjoon.”

—-

The tower was already lit up in evening mode. People were slowly heading off to bed, already used to the schedule organized by the sun. Guards changed for the evening, every runner that was scheduled to be on a run returned. All their loot was put into inventory and new lists were made up for the next day. The children were all washed and put into beds. Some of the doctors were already sleeping, preparing themselves for the potential crisis that could happen in the middle of the night.

And yet there was one person still unaccounted for. One person because of which you still didn’t turn on the UV light traps.

The sun was already behind the mountains, but the skies were light. There were still a few minutes left before the light would die out and the monsters would come out to hunt the unsuspecting victims.

You were sitting at the edge of the entrance to the tower, legs swinging nervously. A machete lay across your lap and you tested your grip on it every now and then, feeling the weight of it in your hand. Would you be able to do it if the necessity rose up?

The radio was still silent. Namjoon probably didn’t even take it with him, so it turned out to be useless at this point. The only thing that was left for you was to wait for him and trust him to come home. The urgency with which he left…it was something that he could not postpone, and something he had to deal with, no doubt. But why did he not tell you?

It wasn’t as if you were together together. You were fooling around, were you not? But why did you feel as if your heart were about to jump out of your chest and shatter on the floor when you thought of him getting hurt? Where was he?

“___.” deep in your thoughts, you didn’t hear him step over the rubble. With a loud gasp and a sob lodging in your throat, you jumped down to meet him, hands flying over his body to ensure that it is indeed him, and he indeed returned in one, unbitten piece.

“Namjoon! Where did you— what did you…” the tears streamed down your face with no control at this point, and you only did freeze when you felt something drop on the hand resting on his chest. Your skin was unblemished, so it was not blood.

Namjoon was silently crying, gripping you hard as if someone was about to snatch you away from him. His chest shook with held back sobs, and your heart broke to see him like this.

Leaning up on the tips of your toes, you pressed a deep kiss against his plush lips. You slowly helped him get up the barricades, bypass the guards and their questioning looks. You made sure the tower was secure and the night defenses were in place.

Afterwards, you led him to his room. Helped him strip down, wash off the dust and the tears from his broken face. Held him when he couldn’t anymore, and after he calmed down, led him to his bedroom, holding him so tight, wishing you could protect him from all the evil in the world.

As the two of you lay in bed, you thought the exhaustion and tears pushed him to sleep, however when you tried to wiggle out from underneath him, he held you tighter.

“Stay.” he rumbled quietly, slowly sitting up, pulling you up with him. He heaved a big sigh, running a hand through his damp hair.

“Is…is everything alright?” Namjoon shook his head in response, grabbing at your hand and squeezing it.

“There…there is something I need to tell you.” he played with your fingers, looking down at your hands. Bringing them up to his lips, he kissed at your fingertips gently.

“A…a story. About myself. About…why I left today.” you nodded in understanding, returning the affection by peppering kisses to the hand you brought up to your face.

“It’s a long story,” he warned, but you shook your head, dismissing his worries. He stared at you for a bit longer, before reaching over to the nightstand, pulling out several objects. They scattered between the two of you.

A photo of a couple, a suede ring box, and a strand of hair in a little bag. You watched the things, trying to piece them together.

“Before all of this, I was married. Her name was Mina, and we met in university. Shortly after graduating, we moved into our first house and within the first year of living together, Mina gave birth to our daughter. We were very happy; years flew by and they felt like days. That all changed when the sickness came.”

“This Alfredo is so good.” I shoved more food into my mouth. My boyfriend of two years, Namjoon, laughed at me. We were at a Italian restaurant for a date. He reached over and grabbed my chin and wiped the sauce from the Alfredo off the corners of my mouth. After he retreated back to his seat I looked down and avoided eye contact with him.

“Awh is my baby blushing?” Namjoon teased.

“S-shut up.” I stumbled with my words.

Namjoon got out his seat and pushed mines back, grabbing my hands to pull me out the chair. We walked through the building with velvet walls and dimmed lights with candles on each table. We got outside to a balcony.

“It’s cold out here Nam.”

I turned back around to go back inside but he wrapped me in a hug. He wrapped some of his jacket around me and I breathed out in delight as my face was resting on his warm chest. He rocked us from side to side lightly. I looked up at him and smiled at his face illuminating off the moonlight. I kissed his cheek and then his lips. He kissed me even harder and I pulled away.

“Now you have lipstick on your lips.” I giggled and tried to wipe it off with my thumb.

Namjoon’s phone started to go off and I pulled away for him to get it. He looked at the screen and hesitated to answer but he did at the end. He held up a finger as he stepped back into the restaurant.

That was 5 weeks ago.

“Joonie don’t you want to order pizza and then maybe watch cartoons and have cuddles that will lead to a fucking session?” I asked with a cheeky grin.

His eyes was still glued to that damn phone. He was typing away and I poked his arm. He looked up, “Yeah?”

I scoffed, “You didn’t even hear a word I just said.” I pouted.

“I’m sorry baby,” He scoped me in his arms and kissed my lips. “We can do whatever you want.”

“I want you to fuck me.” I flipped my hair over my shoulder with an innocent smiled.

His eyes went wide for a second before he snapped back into his perverted mind. He layed me underneath him on the bed and started to kiss me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his torso. I pushed my tongue in his mouth while his hand went under my thin tank top. I jumped when his phone started to go off again for the 4th time today while we been together. It hasn’t even been two hours yet.

Namjoon reached over to grab his phone and I looked at him like he was the dumbest guy alive. Was he serious? I pushed him off me and stormed out the room to the bathroom. Must’ve been his manager.

That was 4 weeks ago.

I haven’t had a moment with him to myself in weeks now.

I was off to my best friend’s house to chill since Namjoon was stuck in the studio again for the third time this week. I didn’t argue when he blew me off since I know how much his work means to him. I don’t want to be that needy girlfriend that boys hate. I was chill and I respect his work ethic.

“You should’ve called me an hour in advance.” My friend Alice tightened her robe as she let me in her house.

“Sorry, didn’t know you’ll be doing that nasty stuff.” I laughed at her.

She giggled and told me to wait while she went to get properly dressed. I flopped on the long couch as if this was a second home to me; actually it was. The smell of an expensive candle that was burning on the glass table in the middle of the living room came to my nose. I mentally checked myself to steal one of her candles before I left.

“Girl if you don’t get off my couch like that.” She came back in with a hoodie that obviously wasn’t hers, seeing how big it was on her.

I flicked her off and continued to lay on her couch while she sat on the chair that was opposite of me.

“So what’s up?”

“Nothing much, I was bored and Namjoon is in the studio still so yeah.” I sat up and took off my shoes.

Alice nodded but after a second her eyebrows started to scrunch up, leaving a confused expression on her face. “He’s always in that studio, he’s sounds like Yoongi now.”

I laughed, “Yeah he does doesn’t he?”

She nodded and eyed me. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it back with a shake of her head. Now I was confused.

“What is it?” I spoke up.

She hesitated before giving an answer, “It’s just…when’s the last time you two hung out?”

“Umm..,” I kept thinking over these last 3 weeks and strange enough me and my boyfriend hasn’t really hung out once. “I don’t know honestly.”

“Oh…” She bit her lip and quickly placed a smile on her face. “Want some tea?” Alice got out her seat and rushed to the kitchen without even getting an answer from me.

I frowned, something was off with her. She was hiding something from me. I fiddled with my fingers and thought about her question over in my head again. Why hasn’t me and my OWN boyfriend at least went out a date or something in 3 whole weeks? That’s almost a month! I slumped in my seat and the thoughts i didn’t even want to think started to invade my mind. Alice came back with the tea and my favorite mug she always let me use when I came over here. She handed me the tea with a sympathetic smile.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” I looked at my best friend with a hundred worries in my eyes.

She looked down at her mug and back up at me, “You know me and you are basically blood sister’s right?”

I nodded timidly, fearing the worse.

“Well as your sister I feel like I should tell you I feel weird about you and Namjoon’s relationship right now.”

My mouth got dry and I felt like I knew what she was about to suspect.

“Like what?” The words came out crokey, my throat suddenly hurting.

She placed her mug down on the table and pushed her long curly hair out her face to look me in the eyes but before she could say anything her boyfriend Yoongi came out from the hallway with a full outfit on. He waved at me but all I could do was give him a half hearted smile. He came over to give Alice a kiss on the cheek before walking to the door.

“Have you been in the bangtan studio lately Yoongi?” I blurted out. I needed answers asap.

“Yeah, why?” He shoved his hands in his pockets.

“You been there these past three weeks?”

He nodded, “Why…wassup?”

I looked at my best friend and she shook her head, her hands tapping against her thigh; a habit she does whenever she gets pissed off or worried. After nobody answered Yoongi just shrugged and grabbed his keys before bidding goodbye to us before heading off to the studio.

“Text him.” Alice urged me.

I nodded and got my phone out my bag with shaky hands. I cursed at myself for trying to get emotional over this. I trusted him, he wouldn’t hurt or disrespect like that…would he?

I grabbed my black iPhone and unlocked it. I went to me and Namjoon messages. I looked back at our past ones for a second and sighed nervously. It was just him giving me one word replies and my stupid ass steady trying to get him to say more. Why would he say more to me when another girl has his attention? No, don’t think like that.

I sent him a message and awaited for his reply which didn’t take long surprisingly.

babygirl: hey nam, can i come to the studio?

24 minutes to respond.

babyboy: nah im busy rn

babygirl: oh okay…well i love you.

Read.

I blinked back some of the tears that was threatening to spill over. I will not cry, nope not now at least. Alice came and sat by me and looked down at the messages. She looked at me and I smiled at her to assure her I was alright even though I really wasn’t.

“It’s okay to cry. ” She rubbed my back but I shook my head.

“Let me text Yoongi.” She got up and went back to her room to retrieve her phone before proceeding back into the living room.

While she texted him I started to think of all the things that could’ve went wrong in the relationship. What did I do that made him want to stray off and find somebody else? What happened?

“He isn’t at the studio…” Alice trailed off with a quiet tone. She showed me her messages of Yoongi saying how Namjoon wasn’t in the studio. I slipped out a laugh that wasn’t humorous at all. It was quite dejected.

“I have to go.” I packed all my stuff back in my purse and got up to head to her front door.

“I’m sorry girl.” Alice walked me out and squished me in one her hard to breath hugs. Any other time I would’ve pushed her off but right now I needed it.

“Just come by if you need me, no matter what time.” I nodded and walked out with sorrow written all over my face.

// home.

I sat on the couch in me and Namjoon’s house with just a candle lite. A door opened and closed back signaling Namjoon was finally home; at 2 a.m.

“Shit it’s dark as fuck in here.” His heavy voice sent chills down my spine.

The lights flickered on and my eyes stayed put on the candle that was burning slowly.

“Hey Nam.” My voice came out raspy, like i’ve been screaming all day.

“H-hey…I thought you’ll be a-asleep by now.” He nervously smiled and came around the couch to see my face.

I shook my head and a tear rolled down my face. I knew I had to ask him the golden question but I was afraid of the answer. I didn’t want to lose the person I thought I would spend the rest of my life with.

“Hey, don’t cry. What’s wrong?” He rubbed my arm but I jerked away from his touch.

“Have you been cheating on me?” I finally looked at him.

He stared at me and I studied his eyes, his body movement, the way he told me he did even before it came out his mouth officially.

“Namjoon please just tell me.” I whispered.

“Yeah…I cheated. I’m sorry.” He looked down in his lap as if he was ashamed of what he did.

I quickly raised off the couch and dodged into our bedroom before he could see me break down. I slammed the closet door open and grabbed a random duffle bag before snatching clothes off hangers. My face was heated and my mind was dizzy. All I could do was let the tears roll down my face fast and try not to scream out.

Namjoon walked in and grabbed my arm to stop me from grabbing my stuff but i snatched my arm away.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” I pushed him away from me and he almost fell back with a shock expression on his face.

“C'mon ____ be rational right now!”

“BE RATIONAL? YOU FUCKING CHEATED ON ME!” I screamed in his face and wiped my hot cheeks with the back of my hand.

He snatched my duffle bag off the floor and started to throw shit back out. I reached over to grab it but he held it from me.

“You ain’t leaving this damn house until we talk.”

I screamed out of frustration. I threw my hands up, “WHAT IS THERE TO TALK ABOUT? YOU FUCKED SOME OTHER BITCH, THAT’S ALL THIS IS!”

“LET ME EXPLAIN ____!”

“NO! FUCK YOU!” Push.

“I HATE YOU SO MUCH!” Push.

“WHY ME NAMJOON!?” Push.

And he finally grabbed me and wrapped his arms around me as I shouted profanities towards him. I started to hit his chest to let me go but he just held me tighter.

“Let me go…” My voice was almost gone.

He shook his head and I heard him sniffle and that pissed me off even more. He has no right to be angry. Nobody forced him to cheat on me. “GET OFF ME!” I pushed him off and stumbled to the other side of the room. I was a mess right now.

“What did I do? Is it because I was to clingy? Am I not interesting anymore?”

“That’s not it—”

“THEN WHAT IS IT!?”

“Baby,”

“Don’t call me that bullshit!”

Namjoon put his hands up in defense and continued “It’s just I wanted some extra attention–”

I picked up the duffle bag and threw it at him when he said that. I stormed over to my keys and purse.

“____ please,” He walked towards me.

“No, we’re done. Fuck this.” I walked out the room and practically ran out the house and into my car. I slammed my car door and started to cry even more. This was it, this was my last time being with the man I love. I placed my head on my steering wheel and sobbed. I sat up and wiped my eyes and grabbed my keys to start the car up.

(tbc.)