➬ Summary | Ever since the day he walked through the front door of your cafe hand in hand with his sweet daughter on one gloomy afternoon in the middle of winter, he had captured your heart without him even knowing it. All the time, you had chosen to stay on the sidelines, watching him mend his broken heart in silence while he teaches his own daughter that it was okay to be a kid despite the pain that they shared. You know you shouldn’t be so infatuated with him or let this feeling go any deeper. Because nothing could prepare you when you are forced to watch him move on, completely unaware that he is about to be breaking your heart into pieces.
↳ Ratings | PG-13,+18 / M for Mature; appropriate warnings will be applied on each chapter whenever necessary.
➥Cross post | AO3 | Inkitt (coming soon!)
➥ Author’s Note | Originally commissioned by @rm4lyf ; I have decided to release this one as a drabble series to present the timeline more appropriately and make the storyline work. Chapters will be posted weekly.
➥ Music Companion (link to playlist)|The LOFT- Glass Walls //Katie - Thinking Bout You // JERO - With you // Code Kunst - O (feat. Lee Hi) // Dxvn. - Drowning // Ja¥en x District - dying ember // Angelicca - Your Only One // GATS & Oh Genius - Lost In You // Adrian Daniel - Nobody
i can’t believe there’s only one more chapter and we’re done. it has been a roller coaster ride of emotion with this fic. brilliantly written! a story of grief, recovery, moving on, and finding new love eventually. Seokjin with a little girl is adorable!
➬ Summary | Ever since the day he walked through the front door of your cafe hand in hand with his sweet daughter on one gloomy afternoon in the middle of winter, he had captured your heart without him even knowing it. All the time, you had chosen to stay on the sidelines, watching him mend his broken heart in silence while he teaches his own daughter that it was okay to be a kid despite the pain that they shared. You know you shouldn’t be so infatuated with him or let this feeling go any deeper. Because nothing could prepare you when you are forced to watch him move on, completely unaware that he is about to be breaking your heart into pieces.
↳ Ratings | PG-13
↳ Warning | involves grief, graphic depiction of tragedy/trauma, graphic depiction of a car accident scene, character death
Looking back, you would sometimes compare your life to the stories that you have read from those romance novels that you have loved so much when you were younger.
You were sixteen when you began to harbour a crush on your brother’s best friend. Both of them had been inseparable since junior high, especially after they both entered the basketball team together, and Aron had always spent a lot of time at your house to allow you to ogle at him at every chance you got.
At first, you had known that it would be impossible for him to reciprocate the feeling that you had for him, and yet you did nothing to stop it when the feeling had developed at some point when you kept on seeing him around. Still, you didn’t think much of it when Aron started spending more time at your house, sometimes stealing his chances to slip away from your brother to be able to see you even if all he did was to tease and joke around with you like an older brother would.
finally finally finally… a look into OC’s past, what a tragedy indeed! No wonder she doesn’t drive and his brother pick her up and drop her off. This just shows that each person has its own healing, healing is not timebound. Each person has their own way of coping up and healing and moving on. For Seokjin its a year, but for OC, no. Up until now she has not opened herself up. Or maybe, it takes the right person? For OC it took Seokjin’s arrival to finally let herself move on and feel something again, while Seokjin it was shorter coz OC was there on the very 1st day.
We are nearing the end, and i wanted so much for them to have their happiness - together or otherwise. They both deserve it.
I can never thank you enough, Dia! this is such an amazing story. I don’t know what you do in your dungeon, but this surpass everything i could ever want or expected. Thank you for not cutting corners. I always tease you about splitting story and about exceeding the word count you yourself has set, but it only shows how dedicated you are to a story.
➬ Summary | With love, comes challenge. Especially when you are in love with the one man who is at the top of the world while keeping you on the other end.
➬ Genre | Artist/Music Producer!Yoongi, Established relationship!au, Angst, Fluff, Smut
↳ Ratings | +18 / M for Mature
↳ Warning | possessive Yoongi, a few events of jealousy, multiple smut scenes, implied public foreplay, clothed foreplay, dry humping, semi-public sex, exhibitionism, rough sex, breast play, biting, clit play, hair pulling, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, self-masturbation (female), clothed sex, car sex.
↳ Word count | 22k words (I’m sorry for this T^T)
↳ Cross post | AO3|Inkitt (coming soon!)
↳ Music companion | Little Do You Know-Alex & Sierra | Youth - Daughter
➬ Author’s Note | Written as a commission for @minyoongail. | Thank you for giving me a chance to write for Yoongi again. Forgive me for the long wait. I hope you’ll enjoy this story.
THEN…
From the very first night you met Min Yoongi, you were instantly drawn to him.
To describe the moment perfectly, you could easily say that it had happened exactly the way wise people would describe this kind of attraction; that you were drawn to him like a moth to a flame.
It was an instant pull, the kind of attraction that you had never once felt for another person before. Not to the boys you have dated through college, not even for the hot specimen of a male sitting right next to your cubicle at the office you were attending through your internship.
To this day, you could only faintly recall the events which had led you into getting dragged along to the uncharted territory where Min Yoongi existed. It was Friday night, right on the weekly scheduled night out that you would spend with your friends, when the hours were getting late and the dive bar that you had frequently gone to each week felt too cramped and dull with all the men in suits who came in for a seemingly boring company party while acting like they owned the place.
“It would be fun,” you remembered one of them said as she suggested to try hopping into a different club instead of ending the night early.
Sooooo… i held off as long as I coukd coz i know its going to hurt. I read the teaser so i have an idea how much it will hurt. To be fair to the reader, we all have these kind of thoughts even if you’re not dating a renowned music producer. Its a given in any relationship, and i feel her with her struggles - the feeling of inadequacy, the sort of “power dynamics” (him being famous while her “normal”), the inner monologue of telling yourself that he loves you and that he’s faithful.
My chest was so tight the whole time i was reading this, up until the interview with Yoongi. After that i released a very huge breath. This is such a beautiful story, the way Yoongi makes it up to her with words and deeds, trying to prove to her that she’s loved and there is no one else.
It takes hard work to keep any relationship to work and this story is such a gem coz it gives you hope that there is happy ending.
➬ Summary | Ever since the day he walked through the front door of your cafe hand in hand with his sweet daughter on one gloomy afternoon in the middle of winter, he had captured your heart without him even knowing it. All the time, you had chosen to stay on the sidelines, watching him mend his broken heart in silence while he teaches his own daughter that it was okay to be a kid despite the pain that they shared. You know you shouldn’t be so infatuated with him or let this feeling go any deeper. Because nothing could prepare you when you are forced to watch him move on, completely unaware that he is about to be breaking your heart into pieces.
↳ Ratings | PG-13
↳ Warning | mentions of grief, implied/mention of character’s death
↳ Word count | 5,5k words
↳ Author’s Note | A longer chapter with this one (I’m sorry T^T) and another case of splitting a chapter into two to make things work. Roughly edited, so I might return to fix stuff once the story’s completed. I hope you’ll enjoy this one!
You can no longer remember the last time you found yourself in a moment like this. Surrounded by nothing else but warmth that you just want to embrace it forever and curl inside it to hide away from the painful world and never let go.
You had no idea what to expect when you came back from the back kitchen to find your older brother sitting in Seokjin’s booth. Never once had you ever imagined seeing both men sitting together and having a conversation the way they did, but watching it happening right in front of your eyes felt as if you were witnessing both of your worlds colliding together.
And surprisingly, you didn’t find anything wrong with it at all.
finally! thank goodness for Minhyun! i’ve said it before, i will not fault Seokjin for being blind. he just lost his wife and taking care of theor daughter as well. its too much to be honest.
but, finally! we’re going on a dinner! i am so excited for the next chapters.
and hello??? has anyone noticed how Dia split sweet melody into 2? i am not surprise anymore, really. thank you Dia, its just a testament of how much you work hard for every story you put out.
➬ Summary | Ever since the day he walked through the front door of your cafe hand in hand with his sweet daughter on one gloomy afternoon in the middle of winter, he had captured your heart without him even knowing it. All the time, you had chosen to stay on the sidelines, watching him mend his broken heart in silence while he teaches his own daughter that it was okay to be a kid despite the pain that they shared. You know you shouldn’t be so infatuated with him or let this feeling go any deeper. Because nothing could prepare you when you are forced to watch him move on, completely unaware that he is about to be breaking your heart into pieces.
Seokjin cannot shake the feeling that he may have gone over his head.
As a father, the only thing that Seokjin has ever wanted was to provide a good life for his daughter. All he ever wanted was to be able to do the best that he could to make sure that his little girl would continue to enjoy her childhood, especially for a child who had been much too young to understand grief the way adults could.
He has kept his chin up and stayed strong for the sake of keeping Soojin happy and teaching her how to be strong, hiding his own wounds while making sure that life will continue the way it should for her to grow up like any other children her age.
He has followed all the steps he had learned as a newly single father, took in everyone’s suggestions and did everything to the T. For everything that he has done, for every choice that he has made, he always made sure that Soojin would always come first.
The first decision that he has ever made for his own benefit was to start a relationship with a younger woman like Minnie.
its not surprising that it took a long time for Seokjin to come to these realizations. He lost his wife and he was grieving, he is not in a good space. Friends have good intentions most of the time, but i think going out on a date when he is not ready muddle his mind a bit, much less start a new relationship. On the other hand, our reader has 3 years to recover, yet she is not done yet. I dont think one can ever fully move on from any kind of loss. But, she is in a much better headspace and i admire her so much for not taking advantage of Seokjin’s situation, you know. I thought she was too late in letting her feelings known but now i realize that she ubderstand what Seokjin is going through coz shes been there before and she knows that he is not ready.
Whenever i read a series of mini series i always get scared coz as much as i want a happy ending i know that an author can go the way of realism, and sometimes that means the main character not getting together. I think that this is one of those story i wont mind if they end up just friends. For me a happy ending for them both is not to hurt that much over their loss, recover from their loss and find their happy ending, with or without each other. Dies that make sense?
Thanks Dia, this story is so much more than i expected. The prompt is something really close to my heart. Though a different loss, its still a loss. Thanks for breathing life into the prompt.
one of Jaemin & I’s friends (irl) has recently started up a writing blog, and she’d really appreciate it if some of you guys could show her some support! her name’s Victoria and she writes for different kpop groups, and does some really cool social media & text type stories. we would really appreciate it! thank you.
Note: This is very angsty, mentions of death and coping
———
His eyes open. He feels something weighing down on him, stopping him from moving. He stares at the ceiling, then looks over at the bedroom window, there’s no sunlight pouring through the curtain. He cant move his neck, shifting only his eyes over to the clock on the bedside table. The blue digital numbers reading 2:30 AM. Hoseok closes his eyes, hoping that he’ll just drift off to sleep again.
“Hobi? Where are you?”
Hoseok’s eyes snap open at the sound of your voice coming from somewhere downstairs. His eyes move to the bedroom door, his chest swelling with excitement. Finally, you’re home. He knew that you would come back. He tries to grip onto the bedsheets on either side of him to lift himself up, but no matter how much the muscles in his arms and hands tense, he can’t close his fist. He can’t move, like cement has been poured through his veins. He hears what sounds like your keys being set down, then hears you moving around as if searching for him. “Hobi?”
Hoseok tries desperately to yell out for you, but he can’t open his mouth. Instead he lays there with his chest heaving and his lips quivering, only managing small whimpers between his pursed lips. The footsteps start to get closer, and Hoseok hopes that you’ll find him and help him. Hoseok’s breath gets faster and heavier as he tries again to sit up, the footsteps arrive at the door and the knob slowly starts to turn. Hoseok is suddenly torn from his trance, his skin stings as if someone has thrown cold water onto him. He quickly sits upright, gasping for air and taking only a second to collect himself before he runs towards the closed bedroom door. He throws it open, hoping to see you on the other side, but instead he is faced with the empty hallway. His chest rises and falls as he stands there a bit longer, the darkness staring back and silently mocking him. Then he slowly starts to step backwards, until his thighs hit the bed and he falls back onto it. He spends the rest of the night with his head in his hands.
—–
“It happened again.” Hoseok says as he pulls out one of your jewelry boxes from the dresser, brushing off the thin layer of dust that has began to form. He hadn’t touched your things since you’d passed away.
“The sleep paralysis?” Yoongi’s voice asks from the other end of the phone.
“Yes.” Hoseok rubs his eyes, which are tired and swollen from multiple restless nights like the prior one.
“I think we should go see a doctor if they don’t stop. Maybe some sleeping meds will help.” Yoongi suggests. Hoseok nods as he examines the jewelry box, he’s been going through the things you left behind after the members suggested that getting rid of some of the clutter would help him be at peace of mind. Instead, he had found himself getting lost in the memory of every object. He opened the box and let out a sound of surprise when a piece of paper fell out, slipping past him and settling on the ground. He picked it up as Yoongi asked what he found on the other side of the line. Hoseok unfolded the paper, and the first line he read was “To My Hobi,” written neatly in your handwriting at the top of the page. He could hear your voice clearly in his head as he read it again, closing his eyes briefly to collect himself.
“I’ll call you back, Yoongi.” He didn’t wait for a reply as he hung up and continued to read the letter.
To My Hobi,
Hey, it’s me, Y/N. I am writing this letter as a precaution, because I do not seem to be getting better. I feel weaker each day, and spend more time asleep than awake. This was just supposed to be a cold. It wasn’t supposed to be this bad. I won’t tell you that I wrote this letter, because I know that it would hurt you that I am thinking like this. I am not saying that I will die, but I am just being prepared. I know that if you need to, you will find this letter.
If you are reading this it means that I have already passed. I cannot even begin to imagine how you are feeling or how you are taking this, since it hurts to picture such a beautiful soul like you having to deal with such a terrible situation. I am sorry to part with you like this, I am sorry that I left before you. But I want you to know, how much I truly love you. You embodied the word perfection and basked in all of its glory, and not a day goes by that I do not call myself lucky to be able to call you my husband. It is okay to be sad, it is okay to cry, it is okay to miss me. But please promise me that you will learn how to smile again. Please promise me that you will continue to live, and that you will not be afraid to love again. You are too great of person for me to not let go. Other people deserve to know Jung Hoseok, and other people deserve to feel the way you made me feel. Please continue to share your gift and your smile, with the world. You were my hope and sunshine, even in these last painful days. But at least now you will remember me as I was, and I will live forever in your house of memories. I love you. I will always love you. So please, smile for me.
Sincerely, Y/N
The paper was stained, it looked as if a tear had dried on it before. And now there was a fresh tear falling directly next to it, the paper shaking slightly in Hoseok’s hands. He set the paper down and settled his back against the dresser as he allowed himself to cry, letting his grief out in loud sobs. Perhaps he had been doing this all wrong. He could not forget you, no matter how hard he tried. Which is what he had been trying to do, because he thought that if he could erase all the feelings you’d given him, the pain would become enough to bare. But instead of treating you like a memory he wanted to forget, he should have treated you as a cherished recollection in his heart. For you, he’d build a palace in his house of memories. After he had calmed down enough, with his eyes puffy and his nose bright red, he called Yoongi back. He told him everything, and later that night, Hoseok went out to eat with the members for the first time since you’d passed away. Hoseok finally smiled again, and laughed. That night was the first night that he finally slept through.
Hi guys :) I’ve made the decision to open commissions on this blog as a way to help with expenses as a student (i have a job but ya girl still struggling )
The commissions will be available >here< through the commissions tab on my ko-fi! All the information is up on the ko-fi as well :)
I’ll still do my best to get back to regular posting on here anyway so there’s no pressure to interact with this, but I thought I’d give it a go anyway!
➬ Summary | When your countdown appeared on your wrist right on the morning of your eighteenth birthday, you had thought that perhaps the universe was on your side, especially since the final seconds were already ticking so soon. You just never expected to have your first meeting with your soulmate to be the day when you had to let him go. But hope was not lost when you still found love without the bond, and Jungkook showed you that it was possible to find happiness beyond the system that was written for you. Except that the universe doesn’t seem to have enough of its game, when your past sacrifice comes back hitting you straight in the face, just when you had believed that you had written off the perfect ending to your bittersweet tale.
↳ Pairings | Jungkook x reader / Namjoon x reader
↳ Genre | Soulmate!au, Second Chances!au, Angst, Eventual Smut
➥ Ratings & Warnings | +18 / M for Mature; mentions of alcohol consumptions/hangover, implied/depiction of a one-night-stand, possible infidelity, implied smut, sexual tension.
Jungkook can sense it even before he opens his eyes. Even the fog that seems to fill the crevices in his head can do nothing to stop him from noticing how foreign everything around him feels.
The warmth enveloping him.
The soft touch of sheets under his palms.
The thick, plushy pillows where his head seems to be resting on.
The feminine scent of perfume that seems to be wafting through the air around him, gently breezing past him like delicate hands teasing on his skin.
As he slowly finds the strength to open his eyes and force himself to wake up, Jungkook’s eyes flutter open to the warm morning sun greeting him from the open windows. As he stretches out his sore limbs, little by little, the remaining haze of his sleep is lifted, and he stops moving as he is immediately met with an astounding sight of his surroundings. His eyes grow wide the moment he realises that he has indeed fallen asleep in a completely different bedroom, lying on a different bed, with windows on the opposite side of the walls that are nearly twice as big as the ones that he has been looking out of since he had gotten on this island. He looks around, and everything that he is seeing officially confirms that he had not been sleeping in Yugyeom’s room.
His heartbeat begins to race in a state of panic, not knowing where he is. And while he rarely ever had any experience of waking up with a hangover or having any piece of his memory missing after spending the night out drinking, Jungkook quickly finds that he has no clear idea of what had truly happened last night. The last thing he remembers is sitting at the bar with Tasha, the one person he would have never expected to meet in such a place.
They haven’t met each other even once after their first and last encounter at Bovine months ago, yet it certainly felt as if they had been old friends the moment they started to talk to each other. Last night, they spent hours sharing drinks, exchanging stories, and laughing at the things they found astounding from any topic that they brought up while admiring the serenity that they found from spilling their thoughts about the universe and the lives of all human beings who are living in it.
Sitting up on the bed, Jungkook finds himself still wearing last night’s clothes. The faint headache that has come up when he was trying to move easily fades as he leans back against the headrest, though he still feels as if his entire energy has been depleted after all that drinking last night that he refuses to make any other move despite the urge to investigate further to find out where he is.
Letting his head fall back, he closes his eyes, trying to regain his memory and figure out just how he had gotten here. It is then when he hears someone knocking at the door. He barely has the chance to open his eyes or to even respond when the door opens and the slow movement happening at the door catches his attention.
“Knock, knock.”
Jungkook quickly turns to the doorway, blinking rapidly when he finds Tasha standing there while leaning against the door frame. Wearing simple clothing—a plain white T-shirt over a pair of pastel-coloured leggings, which is a complete contrast to the dress that she had worn last night—she looks refreshed, ready to start the day. And she also looks completely unaffected by the drinks that she had last night.
Jungkook’s eyes fall on her exposed wrist. The sight of the purple hydrangea tattoo appearing on her skin reminds him of the conversation that they both had last night. His eyes are still on her wrist when she raises her hand, lifting the mug that she has been carrying with her to cover the bright smile showing on her face. Her eyes seem to glint under the sunlight, clearly looking amused at what she is seeing, and her eyebrows are raised as she watches Jungkook silently trying to piece everything together. The frown he is wearing on his face clearly shows just how much he is struggling to do so.
“Wake up, sleepyhead. Don’t you even think about going back to sleep now,” Tasha greets him, finally snapping him out of it.
“What—” Jungkook straightens up further and glances around. “What happened last night? Is this your place? How did I get here?”
Instead of answering him, Tasha merely smiles at him. “Why don’t you freshen up first and then we’ll talk over breakfast? Or coffee? Do you drink coffee?” Jungkook absently nods while still looking like a lost puppy, so Tasha simply continues to talk. “Go take a shower. The bathroom is over there,” she says, pointing at the door on the other side of the room which seems to be leading to the ensuite bathroom. “I’ll have everything ready and have someone fetch you some fresh clothes to change into once you’re done.”
Jungkook opens his mouth to respond, but misses his chance to say anything when Tasha has already slipped away from the door when he turns to find her again. Deciding that he wouldn’t be getting any answers by staying put on the bed that feels almost too comfortable for him to lie on, he rushes towards the bathroom to freshen up, taking his time with it until he can finally find some clarity.
Even if he still can’t remember a few things from last night which had led him to end up in Tasha’s place. And in her bed, nonetheless.
He finds the clothes just as promised when he finally steps out of the bathroom, all prepared for him on the bed. The dark-coloured shirt and pants seem to fit him suspiciously well, but he chooses not to think much about it as he walks out of the bedroom. On his way to find Tasha, Jungkook looks around and soon finds that he is in a loft that looks like a part of the resort where he had been spending his night, judging from the familiar view of the beach and the ocean that he can see through the windows. He follows the scent of brewing coffee to find Tasha getting busy in the kitchen, surprising him as he sees her cooking on the stove herself instead of having her staff do it for her.
“Go take a seat. I’ll be ready in a minute,” she calls out to him while moving fluently around the kitchen, fetching him the coffee that she had made like a pro. “I have no idea what kind of coffee you’re into so I made a light one. I’ve put some extra cream on the side if you want some more.”
Jungkook takes the mug filled with coffee and turns away, deciding to take a look around rather than sitting idly by as he feels too restless to do so when he has a ton of questions running inside his head. He finds the living room looking homey and comfortable, a sign that she has been using this place quite often as her personal living space. He walks past the large-sized television hanging on one wall before stopping in front of a drawer nearby where he finds a few framed pictures being placed on display.
Looking at them makes his chest grow tight. He sucks a deep breath to ease the pain, though it seems too hard for him to do so when he only remembers how this setup reminds him too much of what he has back home—how you have decorated his living room in a similar way, with a low drawer full of trinkets holding various framed pictures on top that documented his entire life together with you.
Shaking his head, Jungkook focuses back on the pictures in front of him and starts to look closer into them. Most of them seem to have been taken while Tasha was travelling to different places as they are showing Tasha posing in various locations—either somewhere in South Korea or abroad—while some others are showing images of her with her family and friends. Then he stops as he finds a wedding photo placed near the center. The picture is showing a man wearing his wedding suit while smiling broadly with his arm wrapped around a younger woman who appears to be his bride pressed onto his left side. On his right, held under his other arm is Tasha, who is smiling warmly into the frame while she keeps her hand on the man’s chest as she stands politely close to him.
“Is this your family? I don’t recall you ever telling me that you have a brother,” he starts asking before he can stop himself. For a moment, he gets nothing but silence, until Tasha’s voice comes startling him once she has moved to stand next to him.
“That’s because I don’t. I’m an only child,” she says.
“Then, who are these people?”
Reaching out to pick up the photo, Tasha releases a soft sigh. “Oh, he’s my soulmate. But he’s married to someone else,” she easily says to him, catching him by surprise that he snaps his head to look at her with wide eyes, only to see her smiling back. “That’s his wife on his left. The photo was taken on their wedding day.”
Seeing that Jungkook is left too stunned to speak, Tasha softly laughs and places the framed photo back in its previous place before wrapping her hands around his arm to pull him away. “You’re in shock. I get it. Why don’t we sit down, have some breakfast and coffee so we can get rid of that hangover of yours while we talk? I’ll tell you everything about them.”
“You’re being too quiet.”
Jungkook looks up from his second cup of coffee—light, a bit sweeter and with extra cream, just like how she had suggested for him to take since she only makes strong ones—and returns Tasha’s gaze.
“You can probably see that I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything,” he says to her after a beat of silence and once he realises that he had barely touched his meal despite feeling the hunger ever since he woke up earlier. With a sigh, Jungkook decides to be honest and share what he has been thinking. “I have so many questions that I don’t know just where to start.”
Tasha nods and places her own mug of coffee down on the table. “Well, I can begin by telling you that nothing happened between us after we finished our last drink. You were drunk, not to the point that you blacked out because of it, but enough to make it hard for me to drag you home. I had Hyuk, the bartender, helping me to carry you out of the place safely, but then you refused to go home. You kept telling me that your friend wouldn’t be home and you refused to tell me his address, so I figured it would have been easier for me to drag you here instead since we’re only a few floors down.”
Jungkook has suspected this but still grimaces as he imagines the chaos that he had created. “I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble.”
Tasha waves her hand. “Oh, it’s fine. I already got something good out of it, at least. Consider us even,” she says to him with a wink and an elated smile taking over her face, while Jungkook’s face feels warm when he remembers seeing the aforementioned bartender from last night walking out of another bedroom merely moments before Jungkook sat down at the dining table. The man looked freshly showered and was refusing to join breakfast, saying that he needed to get back to work before his boss would scold him for slacking off. Though the man didn’t leave before kissing Tasha right on the lips one last time and promising to return for the night once he is off the clock and if she ever needs his company.
Jungkook has no idea how to feel about knowing that his new female friend was having a fling coming by while he was passed out right next door. But the bartender didn’t seem to mind it, nor did he seem to care about Jungkook’s presence in the room at all, and Tasha did apologise for taking the chance to have fun while he was out of it. At least the revelation had allowed him to breathe a sigh of relief, as it had confirmed everything that Tasha had just told him, that he truly hadn’t done anything stupid while he was crazy drunk.
Jungkook turns his gaze around the room to find the photo that he had found earlier, placed right at the spot where it would be visible even from the distance. “You and your soulmate—” he begins to question her. “What happened between you?”
Tasha raises her pretty eyebrows before her eyes find the very same photo that had caught Jungkook’s attention. A deep sigh slips out of her, though there is nothing more but affection and longing in her eyes when she thinks about the past. “I met Wooyoung in freshman year. He’s much older than I am and was already graduating then. We met during a joint event held between the university that I was studying in and the neighbouring university he was still enrolled in. It was a huge shock for us both when we met, to say the least, one that I had expected, with my timer running out before I stumbled into his path. I don’t really think either of us had been fully prepared for it either, so neither of us knew how to react. And then I found out that he had fallen in love with his childhood best friend who was also present at the time. They had been dating for years already.”
Tasha stops for a moment, taking a deep breath as she recalls the past. There is a faraway look in her eyes. Though, to Jungkook’s surprise, she looks more amused than hurt as she remembers what happened.
“Things were rough right after. Wooyoung and I tried to work things out and figure out how to handle things. You have probably guessed it, but the soulmate bond came to us so strong that it was hard for us to ignore it. But then, soon enough, we both realised that the only reason we were both attracted to each other was onlybecause of the soulmate bond while his first love would always remain to have a special place in his heart,” she slowly adds, smiling softly as the memory returns to her. “We sat down together after we figured it out—the three of us—and had a long talk about our future. They told me about her soulmate, how she had found out on her eighteenth birthday that she had lost him before ever meeting him the moment she saw that her mark appeared immediately after her timer ran out and once the cursive letter showed up on her skin, writing in red ink—”
Jungkook flinches and starts to brush his fingers absentmindedly on his own wrist as he remembers his own experience with his soulmate mark. He still remembers that morning as if it had only happened a short while ago. How he witnessed the numbers appearing on his skin, how his breath stilled when he saw how fast the timer had counted down to zero, and how the purple petals bloomed right after, before his soulmate’s initials began to write themselves in red cursive letters. He clenches his hands when he imagines that traumatic event happening to someone else. Someone like the bride in the photo that Tasha has kept between the other memorabilia gracing her home, who he had seen smiling so prettily and kindly to the camera with her eyes glowing in unshed tears of happiness.
When he looks up again, he finds Tasha staring back at him with a knowing look in her eyes, as if she knows exactly where his mind has been wandering to. “Yes, just like yours,” she whispers, nodding at his wrist. “At first, Wooyoung only wanted to stay beside her to support her, to help her deal with her heartbreak and help her get through until she could learn to love someone else. But love bloomed between them during that time. Before they even knew it, they were slowly building their future together. Until the day I came barrelling into their lives. Literally.”
Tasha softly laughs as she describes how she had crossed Wooyoung’s path at the campus festival, how she had tripped and nearly fall before he caught her, the perfect portrayal of how she came into their lives without any warning. Jungkook smiles as he listens to her story before a frown comes to his face. “It must have been rough on you to witness that.”
Smiling softly at him, Tasha simply lifts her shoulders. “It was, at first. But I got over it when I saw how much they were completely in love with each other,” she says, surprising Jungkook further when he sees the deep love in her eyes as she talks about her soulmate and his wife together. “There was never a place for me in their lives, other than what I’ve earned for helping them.”
“I don’t understand,” Jungkook murmurs, tilting his head.
With a sly grin on her face, Tasha leans closer to whisper as if she is sharing a big secret and someone else would be listening in. “You see, I helped them get married,” she says, and her grin grows wider as Jungkook’s eyes widen in shock. “They wanted to elope when their families were against them getting together. Especially when Wooyoung’s family found out by chance that I was his actual soulmate. So I pretended to steal him away from his lover, when in reality, I was flying them both off to one of the resorts that my Dad’s company was partnered with in Fiji so they could get married there. Of course, I had to come with them as an alibi for my absence and to act as their witness.”
“Why?” Jungkook gasps. “Why would you do that?” he questions her, though deep down, he can already guess what her reasoning might be.
Tasha leans back with a low chuckle. “I already told you once, didn’t I? I’m a sucker for romance. I love the whole idea of love, and to the idea of shoving your middle finger to the universe to show them that they are not always right and they don’t always get to decide who we fall in love with,” she says, laughing softly as if she is picturing herself doing it, to put her hand up and show her middle finger to the sky and to the universe that had tried to play around with her fate. “It also helped that Wooyoung was a complete stranger to me at the time and the bond only made me look at him more like an older brother than a possible lover once we got close to each other.”
Jungkook falls silent for a moment. “What did your family think? Your father?”
As he mentions her father, Tasha releases a deep sigh. “My Dad was a tough one to crack, but he was the first person to understand. I’ve always been a Daddy’s girl, being the only child he had ever gotten from his marriage with my Mom. He had wanted to have a son for a long time, but had initially come to love me just the same. As I was his only baby, he did get worried, at first. But I managed to convince him that it was my choice, and by choosing to help the one I was intended to be with to be together with the love of his life, I had somehow proven to him that I was someone who knew my priorities well and that I would know how to take care of the people I came to care about. Just exactly the kind of person he needed to inherit his entire business empire.”
Tasha smiles to herself as she recalls the events happening then, when she remembers how she had defied her own family. “He gave in after I promised that I would make it up by working my ass off to help him with the family business and to never shut away from any possibilities of finding my own life partner who would be good to me in the future once I’m ready for it.”
Once again, Jungkook is silent as he slowly lets everything that Tasha had just shared with him to sink in. Slowly sipping on his coffee, he begins to compare Tasha’s past to his current life. “Is that why you’ve been helping me? The reason why you took me home? Have you been planning to tell me all of this all along?”
Tasha smiles at him. “I took you home because it was what friends do to make sure the person they’re with is safe for the night. But yes, I did have a purpose for taking you with me and I have a reason for telling you all of this. I just want you to see that there is always another way. Another path to choose. We always have that choice, no matter what the world is making us believe when it comes to the silly soulmate system. It’s only a matter of whether or not we are brave enough to take it,” she slowly explains, before leaning closer once again. “I know what you’re doing. You’re giving them space to figure things out, aren’t you? That’s why you’re here instead of staying back there with her while she’s figuring things out.”
Swallowing hard, Jungkook admits how on point her words are and he can only nod to answer, earning a warm, knowing look from Tasha before she explains further, “That’s exactly what Wooyoung’s wife did for us too. She took a step back after she found out that I was his true soulmate, giving him the chance to embrace the universe’s gift—her own words.” Tasha lifts her hands and makes a gesture to depict quotation marks while laughing.
”But, instead of pushing us to be together, the time we had spent together had only helped open our eyes to see just how deep the love that they had truly was when he couldn’t find himself feeling the same deep love for me as what he had already felt for her.”
Leaning back, Jungkook takes a deep breath while taking it all in. Once again, he compares his own situation with hers, placing himself in the shoes of Wooyoung’s wife and thinking back to the reason why he is hiding all the way in Jeju, realising that he is doing the same thing as she did while you are experiencing what Tasha had gone through in the past. He was sure that taking himself out of the equation would help you figure things out and decide what would be best for you without him getting in the way. Except he is no longer sure if staying away for this long had been the best decision for himself and for everyone involved, when no matter how much he had wanted to make sure that you would be able to find your happiness, there is also a bigger part inside him that still insists to fight for you, to believe the words that you had told him about proving just how strong the bond between the two of you would be compared to what the universe keeps forcing on you.
If he wants to be honest, he has been feeling this way for quite a while. Maybe even since day one, when he was standing in Yugyeom’s studio apartment and feeling out of place and lost without you. But he just kept refusing to admit it, denying what his heart had wanted, all because he had also known that he wouldn’t be able to take his words and actions back after what he had done to you on the day he left.
Shaking his head, he accepts his fault for making such rash decisions and he regrets ever ignoring the voice inside his head that had kept telling him to stay and fight with you. Drawing a deep breath, he looks at Tasha and questions her, “How are you so open to this? How can you be so—”
“Amenable? Flexible? Carefree? Wild?” Tasha begins to fill in when he is unable to find the right word to describe her and her actions.
Jungkook grins. “Bold. Forward-thinking. And yes, easygoing, and also for being so open-minded and daring, even when it comes to believing in something that no other people had the courage to put their faith into.”
Tasha laughs softly before looking at him with a sharp look in her gaze. “Because I believe that there are far more important things out there beyond the silly soulmate system that had been created for us,” Tasha says as she pours more coffee into her empty mug, then does the same to fill Jungkook’s while she keeps talking. “It’s not like I don’t truly respect the soulmate system. But, I mean—sure, it sounds promising and completely hard to resist to have the entire universe making sure that we won’t have any problem finding someone to build our entire lives with. It truly is a gift that fates have it in them to make sure that we wouldn’t be alone in this world. It sounds like the perfect way to live knowing that there is someone out there made for us to love and to have our happiness written down for us since we were born into this world, don’t you think?”
“But—?”
“But—” Tasha grins. “Would it really be better and more real compared to the kind of love that we find for ourselves, the one that we would be willing to sacrifice everything for? If the universe can have a choice to play around with our fate—” she stops to give a pointed look on Jungkook’s wrist before continuing, “—then why can’t we have our choice to decide who to fall in love with?”
Jungkook blinks rapidly. All of a sudden, his chest feels tight and heavy when her words seem to strike him deep in his chest.
Because she is right.
And he feels like a fool for forgetting the fact that he had once believed the same thing as well.
All this time, he had always known that he has everything that anyone could have asked for and that he had found it with you. The kind of love that runs so deep that he feels his chest flutter each time he thinks about you. The love that has grown so deep that it becomes the reason why his heart is still beating at this very moment and why he has been hurting ever since the day he walked away. At first, he had truly believed that it would be best for him to step aside, just so you could embrace the gift that the universe is giving you. The gift that he had lost.
But walking away had only made him feel the pain that he has never felt before. Being away from you had only been complete torture. It makes him feel like he is dying inside, how the distance has slowly been chopping up his soul, taking it piece by broken piece that he no longer knows if he would have anything left of himself once the whole ordeal is over.
Once again, as if knowing where his mind is wandering off to, Tasha reaches out to grab his hand and gently says, “What you have with your girlfriend is real. Never doubt that part. I saw it with my own two eyes and I know exactly what I saw then when you were together. Why did you think I made all the effort of helping you with your surprise proposal if not because I believed in the love you had for each other?”
Shaking his head, Jungkook chuckles softly. “You’re right. You really did help me—a lot. And you didn’t even know what my situation was like back then, did you?”
Letting his hand go, she shrugs lightly and confesses, “I may not have seen it back then to know that you were not each other’s true soulmate, but I could sense something special going on between you. Something that was stronger than the soulmate connection that the entire world has been selling us. Call it a hunch from someone who had been there once.”
Jungkook bites his lips as he takes his time to think things over, before curiosity gets the best of him when he wonders how Tasha could be so strong and brave while he has been feeling so powerless against his own ordeal. “Have you ever felt—afraid, for defying fate? You’ve fought against them when you let your soulmate go so he could be with the one he loves, and now you’re trying to help me be together with the only person I’ve ever loved.”
With a light chuckle, Tasha gently shakes her head. “Have I been afraid of doing something so out of the ordinary and to defy the force that would be strong enough to ruin our entire lives under its will? Absolutely,” she admits to him before giving him a smug grin. “But it’s still not enough to make me stop doing it. I’ve always loved watching people chase the love that they choose, to fight for their happiness and get what they deserve. If I have the will and power to do something to help make it happen, I would do so with everything I have, knowing that it makes me feel happy by helping others feel the same thing. It gives me a sense of freedom that could heal my soul. And if that means that I’d be forever fighting against Fate to allow myself to feel this way, then I’ll do it over and over again.”
Jungkook looks down as he thinks deeply about her words, silently wondering if he would ever be able to be just as strong as she does. For the first time, after the day he came to find out that Namjoon was your soulmate, crushing every hope he had ever kept in his mind about having you in his life, he begins to find that missing sparks of hope blooming in his chest. Suddenly, the good faith that he had about his love for you returns full force after he had kept it dormant for the sake of giving you the chance to have what you had once wanted.
Now that the feeling has come back to him, the determination to fight against the universe and to get you back grows stronger. Though it doesn’t stop him from questioning himself—
Can he actually do it?
He keeps asking himself this as he thinks about fighting for his love and rebuilding the life that he has with you once again, no matter what it would cost him. But then he remembers how he had walked out and stepped away from you when you had insisted to make him stay so that you could fight alongside him to prove your love. He thinks about the past week that he was gone, knowing that the soulmate bond would have pulled you to Namjoon in his absence, leaving him to wonder—
Would it be too late for him to return home now and claim you back?
That same morning, you wake up in the same guest bedroom that you have been staying in, feeling so tired and broken.
You had kept the room dark, choosing to keep the lights off and keeping the curtains closed even when the dawn has long broken and the warm sunlight is forcing itself to come in. You cannot remember when you had fallen asleep, as you had found it hard to do so with your mind wandering all over the place while waves of emotions kept rushing through you all night to make you feel restless. The mixture of guilt, sadness, and hope, all collided into one before they all turned into despair before you were finally dragged into the darkness of your slumber only in your exhaustion.
Whatever glint of hope that you felt last night after receiving the call from Jungkook’s brother has now been replaced by self-condemnation and trepidation which keep intensifying each time the events from last night return to you. With a long exhale of sigh, you close your eyes, letting the memory replay itself in your head despite your wish to erase them and forget that they ever happened at all.
“It’s okay. Just give in. I’ll be here to hold you.”
Those were the words that Namjoon had whispered to you after he laid you down on his bed. It was obvious that he could see your fear when you were second-guessing yourself and while you were still trying to make sense of what was going on, and it was clear that he had noticed it as well when the bond between you took its form, as it gave its final effort of putting you both together.
But it was you who had pulled him down to you, and you had been the one giving him the kiss that should have sealed the deal.
You had come so close, just a step away from cementing your bond for eternity and severing the bond that you had built in your old life. You had already crossed the line merely seconds before, the remaining waves of your pleasure were still surging through you to remind you of it and your body was still calling for him. Yet, the moment you took in his scent, breathing in the warmth that was engulfing you in his embrace, something else inside you was shifting, and it was slowly winning, taking control to pull you out of the blinding haze.
And just then, the moment you closed your eyes, you realised that it was not his face that came into your mind. It wasn’t his voice nor his touch that your soul was searching for, and it snapped something inside you which slowly took away the fog that had clouded your sanity.
“Let it in. Let me in, baby. I know that deep down, you already know that this is so right.”
Those were the words that had compelled you into giving in to the bond and the sparks that had been building up between you all night. But right at that moment, as your soul began to cry out for another and started breaking apart inside you, everything about it felt so wrong.
With a sharp gasp, you gently pushed him away, breaking the kiss before it could have the chance to go further. Your heartbeat was still pacing rapidly in your chest, though each thrum was meant for a different reason, and the ache that came barrelling over you had nothing to do with him nor his presence. You had refused to open your eyes just then, unwilling to see the pain of your rejection reflecting in his eyes, something that you had no doubt would find after giving him such hope with what you had allowed to transpire.
And you simply refused to see reality, to know that the person holding you was not the one who you had truly wanted to be there and to have your heart broken once again knowing that he was not there.
But then a gentle brush of a finger on your cheek urged you to open your eyes, and you were surprised that instead of looking at you with disappointment and rage, Namjoon was staring at you with a warm, knowing smile plastered on his gorgeous face. It had taken you a moment and another wipe of his fingers on your face to realise that you had been crying, and that had been the reason he knew what was going on.
That your heart and soul had finally found their resolve to fight against the invisible force that had been taking control over you, and not even the soulmate bond could drown what your heart had truly desired.
And the one that your heart had been calling for was not him.
“I’m so sorry,” you had pleaded with him once reality hit you until your chest grew so tight you could barely breathe. You felt mortified, lost, and disgusted with yourself for allowing things to continue, and for ever giving him hope. And for coming so close to doing something more to severe what you had been trying to protect.
“Sshh—” Namjoon whispered to you, and you blinked your eyes to find him still smiling warmly, his gaze still filled with an understanding look instead of despair or disgust. “It’s okay, baby. I know.”
His gentle words had only made you cry louder, sending you into a sobbing mess as you fell apart beneath him. “I want him back.”
With a sigh, Namjoon continued to brush away your tears. “I know, baby. And he will come back to you. Even if he won’t, I’ll be the one dragging his ass back for making you cry every single night that he was gone.”
“This is—” you choked between your sobs and in the realisation that he had known how often you had cried yourself to sleep for missing Jungkook. You looked away from him, blinking away your tears so that you would be able to speak to him more clearly. Realising how vulnerable and exposed you were the moment the blissful fog faded from your mind, you pulled back and wrapped your arms around yourself, trying your best to cover your body from his eyes. “This shouldn’t have happened. None of this. I’m so sorry for allowing this to—”
“It had to happen,” Namjoon said, tipping your chin up just when you tried to hide from him. He made you look into his eyes, to be able to see that the same fog that had muddled his conscience had also faded from him and that he was able to think more logically now so he could calm you down. “We have both been focusing on the bond—with me who was feeling it for the first time and with you who kept fighting it—until it became the only thing we both felt above everything else. We had to let it happen so that we could open our eyes and see beyond that pull once it fades.”
Despite knowing that his words had been right, the way he said it to you still drew a bitter chuckle to come out of you. “Are you going to talk me out into believing that this was just one of those ‘getting it out of our system’ moments?”
“No, it’s nothing like that.” Namjoon gave you a sad smile before shrugging. “Maybe a little, but more like—” he stopped with a sigh, then reached out to grab a blanket from the other side of the bed which he then used to cover your bareness, wrapping it tightly around your body as if he wanted to keep your warm while protecting you from his roaming gaze. And he did it while he kept on talking, “—allowing yourself to see what your heart is asking for instead of what your body and mind is telling you to do.”
Keeping the blanket wrapped tightly around you, you kept your eyes low as Namjoon shifted away to find his pants and started putting them back on. “I’m so confused,” you whispered weakly to yourself, though it didn’t stop Namjoon from hearing them.
Lying beside you, Namjoon pulled you up until you were resting on his pillows, tucked nicely right next to him where he made you feel safe. “It’s okay to be confused. I know that you are. Honestly, I am too,” he gently said to you with a reassuring smile, one that didn’t truly reach his eyes. “But we’ll figure it out in the morning. I don’t think it would be wise to try and solve everything tonight, after what had just happened.”
You had taken that moment to ponder over his words, to wonder if you could truly believe everything that he was telling you. There was hope for a change simmering within you. Hope for a chance to reclaim the life that you had with the man that you truly loved. And yet the feeling fell short when you remembered how powerless you had been to stop things from carrying on, and how you had put yourself in this position despite your determination to wait for Jungkook’s return.
Namjoon must have felt your worries when he gently pulled you to him. His touch bared no lust when he held you to him, and his smile only offered to give you comfort as he laid down next to you, staying close to offer you his warmth and his company while you were shivering in your uncertainty.
“Stay with me tonight. I promised to hold you, didn’t I? Let me take care of you, _______,”
For the last time.
Those were the words that had been left unspoken, the words that had only made you feel even more guilty, knowing that you had been the one to cause the pain reflecting in his eyes when he pulled you into his arms for one last time, only to keep you safe in his hold until he was supposed to let you go.
Your chest still feels heavy when you take a look around the room. You try to ignore the feeling, however, and focus on making sure that you have everything packed with you and that you wouldn’t be leaving anything behind as you make your leave.
Once you are sure that you are completely ready to step away from this room once and for all, holding your travel bag in one hand and your purse in the other, you realise that you have never felt more resolved than ever, when you finally know what to do next.
Just a week ago, you had walked into this penthouse while feeling lost, dazed and confused from having two strong forces pulling you in two different directions. If only you had known then where to look, perhaps you wouldn’t have found your way here and things might have ended differently.
Much, much different than how things have turned out to be so far.
But you also know that you might have ended up living without knowing the answers to a lot of questions, haunted by the need to wonder about all the what-ifs and what could have been without ever knowing the truth. Without truly knowing what your soul has been searching for.
“You’re ready to leave?”
Namjoon appears in your path just as you walk out the door of your former bedroom. Looking just as weary as you are, he stares at you silently, not looking too shocked to see you packed and ready to go. His eyes fall on the bag you are carrying and his gaze softens for realising what is currently happening.
“I think it’s time. I’ve overstayed my welcome,” is the only thing you can say to him. You look at him a while longer, even if you have no clear idea what you are trying to find. To your reprieve, the pain that you had briefly seen in his eyes last night is no longer present, though you can also feel him putting up a wall when he straightens his shoulders and pushes his hands into his pocket.
Namjoon lowers his head as he smiles, and it is then when you can see a glimpse of remorse and pain flickering on his face, though you see no trace of them when he looks up at you again, all of his emotions are masked underneath the warm smile that he is giving you. Taking a deep inhale of breath, you realise how much it pains you to know that he is hiding his true feelings from you. The fact that he is masking his pain for your sake feels so wrong, but you also know that there is nothing that you can do about it. Not anymore, as you have made your choice and it had been some of the choices that you had made which had put the invisible strain that he is carrying and fighting so hard to hide. Once again, your guilt pinches at your heart, and you want nothing more than to fix things for him.
If only you know how to do it without sacrificing your soul.
Knowing that you no longer have the right to mess with his emotions, you do the only next best thing you know what to do.
“For what it’s worth, I did enjoy my time here with you and I’m grateful that we had a chance to see things clearly before moving on. I guess this way, at least, we’ll be leaving no place for all the questions and the what-ifs,” you calmly say to him, silently hoping that your words will not only be holding some truth in them for yous, but for him as well.
For years, despite thinking and believing that you had somehow moved on from his rejection, you have always known that deep down, you still had questions about what had happened. There had been times when you were up at night wondering about all the possibilities that had come from all the unknowing, while having no answers to help you find some peace in your heart to could actually heal you from your heartbreak.
You only realise now that have never once had the chance to find closure after his past rejection. Until now.
“Thank you for opening your doors for me and for allowing me to stay here. It’s been—” you softly laugh as you try to think of the perfect way to truly illustrate what you feel. “—quite a ride,” you finally say with a low chuckle, and you are pleased that it draws a smile from him too. With a sigh, you carefully add, “But I certainly won’t forget everything that we have shared for the past week, how much you have helped me and the friendship that we have built together. Thank you for your patience and for being so kind to me despite everything.”
Nodding his head, Namjoon seems to come to terms with the situation. Because the moment you find his gaze again, there is a glimpse of relief showing from his eyes. “You know that you’ll always be welcome here. My door will always be open for you whenever you need a place to run to,” he says with a smile, before quickly adding while jokingly, “But I truly hope that you won’t be needing it again so soon.”
Both of you smile and laugh at what he just said, and then his expression changes when he asks you, “I take it you’ve found out where he is?”
“Yes, his brother called me. He’s trying to see if he can help me get to Jungkook,” you reveal to him with a sigh, and you suddenly feel your chest grow tight as you recall the phone call that you had last night with Jungkook’s brother, how he had told you that a friend of his had informed him that she had met Jungkook and was watching over him for the time being.
The call had left you feeling restless, when your relief of finally getting some news of Jungkook’s whereabouts was trampled by your guilt. Though it didn’t stop you from feeling determined to get to him as fast as you can once you had slept on your raw emotions and after you woke up with a clear mind. You still have no idea how Jungkook would react if he ever finds out what you had done with Namjoon, but you would do everything to earn another chance to win him back, and you would do anything to be with the man that you love. You are even ready to spend your entire life making it up to him, as long as he gives you the chance to.
“I can help you with that. Just say the word,” Namjoon offers you, and it almost makes you laugh at the bitter fact that despite the disappointment that he must have been feeling because of you, Namjoon still wants to give a hand to help. Knowing him, there is no doubt that he is genuine with his offer.
With a wry smile, you shake your head. “You’ve done a lot for me already. But thanks for the offer,” you tell him then, looking straight into his eyes right after as you say to him, “I hope everything will go well with you in the future.”
Sighing in defeat, Namjoon gives you a smile and nods. “And for you too.”
Nodding at him, you give him one last smile before walking around him to make your way to the front door. You try your best not to tense up and to keep your chin up as you walk past him, but then he turns and calls your name gently when you are merely a few steps away from the door, his voice stopping you in your tracks.
“Would it have been possible for us to be together back then without feeling like crap?” he suddenly asks you before you even turn around to see what he is up to. Once you look over your shoulder, Namjoon lifts his shoulder in a simple shrug.
“I’m only asking before that’s what I’m feeling right now. It feels like crap because it made me happy that you were here, that I had a chance to spend time with you, to get to know you better, and for me to—” he stops and swallows hard, taking his time to find his words as he looks at you. “I loved being with you, and I know now that we would’ve been good together. But it makes me feel bad that we would have to sacrifice someone else to do so, if we ever choose to go down that route. But I also can’t help to wonder if things would have been the same as what we had this past week if I hadn’t acted like a coward and we had gotten together the way we were supposed to.”
Turning in your heels to get a better look at him, you can only shake your head. “I honestly have no good answer for that since I don’t know what would have happened if things had gone differently between us,” you regretful tell him then, stopping a moment to ponder the thought before speaking again.
“But, you know what? We could have. Maybe we would have fallen madly in love with each other once we gave each other a chance, or maybe we would have grown apart because we haven’t become the people we were meant to be if we had met then,” you say to him with a smile. “And yes, we would have been perfect for each other to the point that we’d make everyone else around us sick at how perfect we are together. But then again, sometimes things just don’t work that way. Not even if the universe had designed it to be.”
You turn to face him completely. If you are going to be absolutely honest with him, then perhaps it would be best to give him the honest truth, giving both of you the final closure that you have both needed to have for years. “That night, when I saw you in that room, I immediately fell for you so hard that it felt like my heart was trampled into pieces for believing that you wouldn’t be mine.”
Your confession seems to surprise him. Namjoon’s eyes grow wide for a brief moment before he smiles and nods at you. “I guess that’s the answer to everything,” he says, confusing you further when he suddenly seems like he has found his own resolve.
“What do you mean?”
When your gaze meets his once again, you find nothing more but clarity glowing in his eyes. “You loved me. You might even still love me now,” he says, giving you the kind of smile that no longer carries his remorse or the pain of having to let go of a huge part of his life that had been written for him. The only thing he shows you when he looks at you is relief, a sense of contentment and acceptance when he says, “But you are not in love with me.”
You flinch a little at this, and he must have caught it, because he immediately adds before you can speak in return, “And that is okay, because what you have is bigger than what we would have ever had since it is something that you have chosen for yourself, not something that had been chosen for you. You and I both know that you have always deserved to have more than that.”
Keeping your eyes on him, you know without any further explanation that he was talking about the soulmate bond, how he can see that you can have something more, just as long as you reach out for it.
For some reason, his words give you comfort. And then your mind wanders briefly to the past, to the younger version of his who had once held so much confidence and belief that he would be more superior than the soulmate bond and whatever fate was planning for him. “You said so then too, remember?” you question him while picturing the image of him standing in the kitchen area in some random fraternity house that you had never once walked into, drunkenly talking about his big dreams in front of his friends and his pretty girlfriend. “Somewhere between your words of rejection and your defiance against the soulmate bond, you had believed in it too. You had said then, in your own words, that there had to be something else beyond this soulmate system that had been designed for us. Something bigger, stronger, and perhaps it would matter more than what the universe wants us to find.”
There is a glint of something new in his eyes—is it pride? Acknowledgement? Or perhaps an understanding that he shares the same idea—when he nods. “And you have found it,” he says with a calm voice.
“I’m sorry,” you start to apologise, only to have him shaking his head.
“You don’t apologise for love,” he says, once again sighing in defeat, before he lifts his chin up. “I do, apologise, however, for not being worthy enough to hold on to you and to fight for us.”
You smile at him. “You are worthy, Namjoon,” you gently tell him.
And you mean it.
But you have given your heart and soul to another, and you are willing to fight to be with that person to the very end of your long journey.
Mr Choi-PA: Mr. Jeon has departed. We got him on the last flight of the day departing for Seoul
Tasha: Good. Thank you, Mr. Choi.
Tasha: You’re free for the night. I have nowhere else to go so I might just return to the loft once I’m done here
Mr Choi-PA: Yes, Ma’am.
Mr Choi-PA: I will be on standby at 7.30 AM to pick you up tomorrow for the meeting with Mr. Lee
With a smile on her face, Tasha types down a few more words of gratitude to send out to her driver and personal assistant before slipping the cellphone back into her purse. The elevator ride ends just then and the door opens to the rooftop bar. The same bar where she had spent hours drinking and sharing life stories with Jungkook just the night before.
After spending most of the day helping Jungkook plan out his return to Seoul, Tasha had joined her father who had come to supervise the resort while she sent Jungkook away with her driver taking care of business for her as he went back to his friend’s place to pack up his things and say goodbye. She is exhausted, drained from being a martyr as she helped a friend defy the century-old system that had been controlling all human beings in their chances of love and from spending the rest of the day going around the resort to deal with its management issues until late.
She feels so drained that there is nothing she wants to do more than to simply return to her loft and lie down in bed. Perhaps she could catch up with some sleep, taking back all the hours that she had lost from having her impulsive runt with Hyuk yesterday night.
But on her way back, she felt the sudden urge to have a nightcap before bed. Only that the idea of having one back in her loft while she is alone at home had sounded so sad. She felt the need to be in the crowd for some reason, even if it is only for the sake of drowning her thoughts with the loud sounds of people chattering and live music playing on the stage, which had been the reason why she made her way back up here before she would retreat for the night.
The bar counter doesn’t seem as crowded as the night before, and she finds no problem in finding an empty seat where she could settle herself into. She looks around, finding Hyuk being too busy tending the VIP guests on the other side of the floor to notice her, so she turns to call out the new bartender servicing the guests tonight to get her fill.
“Martini. Dry,” she immediately orders her usual.
“Do you want to open a tab tonight, Ms. Lee?”
She quickly shakes her head. “No, I’m just having this one before I go.”
One drink to celebrate yet another love story being written in history.
As she takes slow sips of her drink, savouring it instead of downing it so she could find a moment to relax, Tasha pulls out her phone, scrolling down the messages that she had been receiving all afternoon. A smile comes to her face when she comes across the last message that she had exchanged with Wooyoung, when he had let her know that he would be flying in with his wife next weekend for a short vacation while asking if they could meet. She feels excited as she imagines telling Wooyoung and his wife the story of Jungkook and his quest to find love, as the three of them had grown close after their saga that many years ago.
She suddenly feels the urge to laugh when she thinks about how her relationship with her soulmate had evolved over the years. How they have grown to have a sibling-like relationship since then. Even his wife has become a part of it, all because they still care about each other despite everything that had transpired between them.
She continues scrolling, stopping on the message that she had sent to Jungkook’s brother last night after watching Hyuk drop Jungkook in the guest bedroom back at her loft. It had been a relief that she had taken her time to exchange numbers with some of the family members who had attended the dinner party at Bovine that night a few months back, making it possible for her to send the news to Jungkook’s family before she would make sure to convince him to return.
Placing the phone back in her purse, Tasha tries to enjoy the moment, though she cannot help but let her mind wander off to Jungkook one last time. She is not the kind of person who enjoys meddling in someone else’s business. She had almost ignored the voice in her head that kept telling her to make an exception this time when she saw Jungkook last night at the bar.
Just like what she had told Jungkook this morning, Tasha has always been someone who adores romance. She may have never once truly experienced true love, yet she still loves the concept of love itself, and she still yearns for it just like how everyone else would wait for their own happy endings. That was the reason why she had taken it a stride when Wooyoung confessed to her for having someone that he had already loved before they met and how she agreed to stay with them as they tried to figure things out until the day they officially wed.
It was also the reason why she had felt such a strong pull in her soul to help Jungkook. And now that she had done what was needed, she cannot help but feel pleased with herself for listening to that inner voice of hers, to know that despite whatever the outcome might be, it was truly worth it when she saw the determination in Jungkook’s eyes when he told her that he was ready to return to Seoul to get back to you.
Lifting her glass of drink, she looks closely at the glowing liquid as she murmurs softly to no one in particular, “Isn’t love such a funny thing?”
“I’m sorry?”
A deep voice suddenly speaks to her. She snaps up and looks over to the man sitting beside her, who had, no doubt, heard what she had just said and is now looking at her curiously.
Tasha falls silent for a moment, astounded by the sight of the gorgeous man and the fact that he is looking straight into her eyes. Already well trained to regain her composure, she covers her stumble and shock with an easy laugh. “Oh, it’s nothing. I was just thinking out loud.”
The man laughs with her. “I do that all the time too, mostly when the music is loud like this and you can’t hear your own thoughts,” he says, pointing at the live band playing on the stage across the room. Tasha follows his gaze before turning back to him.
“You’re not enjoying the band?”
“Oh, I’m enjoying the music. It’s just…loud,” he says, chuckling at himself. And Tasha is surprised to find just how comforting his voice is when he does that. “But I honestly don’t mind it. I just got out of a different kind of party and this is the scene that I needed.”
“Another party?” she asks, raising her pretty eyebrows curiously. She finally takes a look closer at him then, scanning his looks—from the folded tuxedo jacket that he has hung on the back of his seat, the folded sleeves of his shirt, the bowtie that has been left hanging loose on his collar—
“Let’s see…Nice tux, sleek hair, must have been a fancy one. And something proper. I’m guessing it was a wedding?”
He raises his eyebrows, looking surprised. Judging from the way he laughs while looking astonished, she knows that she has hit the jackpot even before she confirms it himself. “You’re mighty observant. How did you know?”
Acting coy about it, Tasha lightly shrugs. “I work with people. I manage things to make sure that I can keep people entertained, so I’ve learned to read them to know how I could please them and fulfil their needs,” she says, stopping when she sees him making a curious face at her comment. It takes her a moment to realise that he might have taken it the wrong way.
With a chuckle, she waves her hand at him. “Oh no, darling. Not that kind of work. No offence to the ladies who work in that field, though,” she says, still giggling at his reaction, thinking of how adorable he looks whenever he is confused or lost. “I work in management, and I manage places where people would go to when they need to wind down and have fun. This bar, for example, is just one of them.”
The man nods, exhaling a soft chuckle as he says, “Ah, gotcha,” before he finally introduces himself as Matthew. Matthew Kim, a freelance developer who has been staying at a different resort on the island for the past couple of nights for the wedding he attended. She keeps repeating his name in her head for some reason, even as she gives him hers.
“So, what’s with the drinks?” she asks him curiously once she remembers that the resort did host a simple wedding reception at one of its open courts which isn’t supposed to end yet. “Did they not serve you enough alcohol at the party?” Even if she had called it a night and had vowed to not spare her mind in anything related to work, she cannot help but to start compartmentalising, trying to take notes to see if there is something that her staff might be missing out on.
Tossing his drink down his throat, Matthew laughs and shakes his head in return. “No, no, I’m just here to celebrate. I couldn’t do it properly earlier when I had too many eyes on me,” he says while raising his glass to her. “It was my soulmate’s wedding, after all.”
Her world immediately stops. “Your…soulmate?”
Matthew orders another round of drinks for the two of them while any plan that she has made about ending the night short simply vanishes into the back of her mind when he begins sharing his story. How he met his soulmate during high school reunion—she was an old schoolmate of his who had moved out to the States back in high school, before they ever had the chance to realise they were soulmates—and how their reunion had happened too late—for she had fallen in love with someone else while he had claimed himself married to his job and current lifestyle—and how he had found that there was no need for them to change everything when the bond between them could never change their feelings for each other, since they had only considered each other as friends. Unlike Tasha’s or Jungkook’s case, Matthew simply stepped aside to let his soulmate continue on with her life, without him, and he had chosen to accept her invitat
