➬ Summary | When your countdown appeared on your wrist right on the morning of your eighteenth birthday, you had thought that perhaps the universe was on your side, especially since the final seconds were already ticking so soon. You just never expected to have your first meeting with your soulmate to be the day when you had to let him go. But hope was not lost when you still found love without the bond, and Jungkook showed you that it was possible to find happiness beyond the system that was written for you. Except that the universe doesn’t seem to have enough of its game, when your past sacrifice comes back hitting you straight in the face, just when you had believed that you had written off the perfect ending to your bittersweet tale.
↳ Pairings | Jungkook x reader / Namjoon x reader
↳ Genre | Soulmate!au, Second Chances!au, Angst, Eventual Smut
There is nothing that Namjoon despises more than waking up to a warm morning with vicious throbbing happening inside his head.
The ache feels so potent that he can hear the sound of each throb echoing against his temple. He can even feel it all the way to his toes, feel how the world seems to move with it even when he is still lying in bed, unmoving. The kind of feeling that is completely unwelcome that he dreads opening his eyes.
He may not have always been a morning person, but Namjoon isn’t someone who would find himself in this predicament during a regular weekday, jeopardising what should have been a normally productive day for him. For years, Namjoon has maintained an image of himself where he is in complete control of his own self and need, always knows how to keep his composure in any given situation possible.
And yet, for the first time, he finds himself breaking all the rules and habits that he has created for himself. He can feel that contentment and control slipping out of his fingers only because he gave in to his sorrow. Even his body feels as if it is no longer his own, when every move he makes becomes a struggle and whatever he does only escalates it further.
Fucking hangover.
The entire room seems to tilt over whenever he tries to get up, while the spinning still doesn’t stop even when he closes his eyes to put everything to a halt, just like how he feels his world tilting and spinning in all directions. And it has been this way ever since the night he saw you at Bovine.
When his headache becomes too much, Namjoon gives up on trying and falls back on the bed. So far, his memory is a bit fuzzy and unclear. But as the pulsing headache slowly becomes numb, and just when he is not forcing himself to remember, they simply return to him, random bits and pieces of what had happened—starting from the night before to all day yesterday and then ending on the events unfolding just last night—come flooding back to him.
He remembers coming home late from the studio two nights ago, pissed at himself and feeling incredibly frustrated after his encounter with Jungkook that he decided to grab a bottle of liquor to soothe his uneasiness and wash down the aggravation that followed him home. Things didn’t turn better the next day, when he heard nothing from Jungkook and after he found out that his friend didn’t even make it to work.
Feeling lost, and distraught, thinking that Jungkook might have decided to spend the day with you to salvage and find some reassurance in his relationship with you, Namjoon spent the entire day being holed up inside his home, wallowing in his misery with the collection of liquors that he had kept in his home. He must have passed out or fallen asleep at some point because the next thing he realised, he had lost an entire day as it went past him. It was a miracle that he didn’t poison himself with all that alcohol, though he did remember stopping once in a while and the short naps he had in between helped him sober up each time. And yet even as time went by, even after all the effort that he had done to wash everything away with those liquors, the unsettling feeling inside his chest still lingered, as if it had been rooted so deeply inside him ever since the moment he had the talk with Jungkook.
It was sometime around sundown when he was awakened from another nap by the quick call that his assistant made to him from the lobby, notifying him about a guest who had come asking for him. The nap did so little to sober him up, and yet he made it to reach the front door, even with a few struggles as he tried not to stumble or fall over the coffee table on his way there.
The urgency of the phone call and how his assistant had stressed that he needed to hurry made him think that perhaps there was an emergency, something so urgent that he needed to deal with that nobody else could. He clearly was not expecting to find that the surprise guest that his assistant had sent to his door would be you.
It had taken him quite some time to process what he was seeing. At first, he had thought that he was dreaming when he saw you standing right outside of his home not too long after he was mulling over his situation with you. But then you charged at him, shoving him in anger and the pain he felt in his chest was enough to let him know that it was real. And he took every single thing you were throwing at him—every punch you gave to his chest and every word you screamed at him—so willingly. Because even in his haze, he still knew that he was responsible for everything that was happening.
That he was the reason why you were here.
And then you broke down right in front of him, and he nearly fell down with you when seeing you in that state had made him feel weak. Even now, as he is struggling to recover from his hangover, the dread that he felt from that moment still lingers inside him.
Once he feels steady enough to sit up, Namjoon leans back against the headrest, rubbing his palm across his bare chest as he can still feel the ghost of your touch that he had gotten from the moment you pushed him away and the fading warmth that he felt when he took you in his arms. The pain that you had inflicted on him was nothing compared to what he is feeling inside, though he knows now that he was also far too numb to feel anything last night compared to how raw he is feeling everything now.
But does he have a right to complain when he knows that you might be feeling more pain after what had happened? When what you had experienced had been too unbearable for you to deal with that not even his touch or his embrace had been enough to fix you.
That was why he had accepted everything that you gave him. Because he understood. And he took you in his arms because he understood how much you needed someone to hold you up and keep you from falling. Even if he couldn’t erase your pain, he knew that he had to offer you what he could give you then.
Although it doesn’t exactly justify what he did next.
It is the feeling of rage and disappointment that he has in himself that forces him to get up and leave his bed. He wastes no time and quickly freshens up, getting himself ready to face the repercussions as he marches out of his bedroom with the constant throbbing in his head accompanying every step he makes.
As he trots down his empty and silent home to reach the kitchen, Namjoon’s eyes linger on the locked door of the guest bedroom, the only other room in his penthouse that has rarely been used. Knowing what is waiting from the other side of the bedroom door gives him a sense of longing, even if he knows that he doesn’t deserve to even hope that something good may happen. Looking away from the room, his gaze falls on the foyer instead, right at the corner where he held you tight last night in his arms, holding you as an anchor that kept you from falling apart.
When he closes his eyes, he can still sense everything from that moment. Your warmth, the scent of your shampoo, the way you fit perfectly in his arms and how right it felt when you laid your head on his shoulder. That moment had been short, and yet it was still enough to make him feel complete. He felt as if his soul was awakened then, as if there had been a huge hole inside him that he kept carrying with him for years and you had managed to fill it so easily just by falling into his arms.
He had welcomed that feeling, just as he had welcomed his punishment from you. And he still remembers promising himself not to let you go, that he would always hold you up the same way, that he would never take any of it for granted just as long as he could keep you in his arms for as long as he could.
If only he didn’t royally fuck up right after, and let every chance of making it happen to slip away from his hands almost too soon.
Tormented by his guilt, Namjoon becomes determined to make things right. But first, he needs to make sure that he would do it while sober and that he would do everything the right way. While he has the coffee brewing on the kitchen counter, he picks up the phone and contacts the staff to take that first step of redeeming himself.
“Yes, sir?”
Namjoon clears his throat and keeps his voice low when he responds to his assistant. “Can you have the cook send out a complete breakfast set to my loft, please?”
“Anything specific, sir?”
Thinking and talking only worsen the ache lingering in his head. Closing his eyes, he presses his fingers on the bridge of his nose to try and stop his headache from rapidly increasing. “Nothing—just get me today’s special and some fresh fruit,” he says before quickly adding, “Make that two sets of everything.”
A movement catches his attention just as he ends the phone call, and he looks over to the guest bedroom and finds you standing in the doorway, looking like a deer caught in a headlight with your eyes looking around warily and your fingers fidgeting, as if you need to hold onto something to stop yourself from falling down again.
But what has his chest grow tight is the sight of you wearing his t-shirt, how it seems to be hanging loose on your body and its hem falling on your thighs. And he cannot deny how good it makes him feel to see you wearing something of his. The possessiveness that is building up inside him is driving him crazy, even more than how alcohol had driven his sanity to nothing but an intangible mess when he was supposed to be in control, even if it was only to offer support when you had most needed one.
His heartbeat starts pacing rapidly as he looks at your face and catches your eyes looking back at him, and more images from last night come rushing back to him. Not only for the comfortable warmth that he felt when he was holding you, but also for the cold realisation of how hurtful his actions had been to you last night.
“Perhaps it is a good thing that he is gone. Have you forgotten? You were supposed to be mine. Always have been.”
The dick comment that came out of his mouth makes him wince when he remembers ever voicing it out loud. He should have been consoling you instead of being a jackass about it and acted as if he was celebrating while you were in pain.
Namjoon would never be able to forget your reaction that came right after he said those things to you—the crestfallen look that took up your entire face, the pain in your eyes that became clear to him when they widened in shock after hearing his words, and how you pulled back so quickly, leaving Namjoon feeling mesmerised and too stunned to notice what you were about to do until it was too late. He didn’t realise what was happening until your palm landed right on his cheek and the sound of the loud slap you had landed on his face echoed through the foyer. He didn’t realise what had happened until his skin stung and the horrified gasp you made snapped him out of his shock.
Just as he recounts that very moment, his hand comes up to his cheek, touching the numbing pain on his skin. He is not entirely sure which one hurts the most—the slap of your palm that seems to linger or the constricting pain inside his chest that keeps rising and building when he tried to imagine what you were feeling then. But then everything comes to a halt once he looks at you again, the sight of you being engulfed in his oversized shirt and the knowledge that you had slept on his bed seems to calm his restless soul.
You clear your throat, looking flustered as you avoid his gaze while you remain standing there. “I think I should go…,” you murmur softly with a hoarse voice. “I know that I’ve overstayed my welcome. I shouldn’t have stayed anyway.”
“I was the one who offered. I couldn’t let you leave in the state that you were in last night,” Namjoon quickly says, wincing when he remembers how that night had ended. How right after you slapped him and while he was stunned into silence, you had somehow realised that he had been drunk when he opened the door for you, and how it pushed you to go around his kitchen and living room to find the missing bottle of liquor that he had left behind. His chest tightens when he recalls how you had then grabbed the bottle and started drinking your pain away, and how he couldn’t stop himself when—
Clearing his throat, Namjoon shakes the thoughts away and forces a smile. “And I don’t believe you are ready to go either. Why don’t you stay a bit longer and take your time until you settle down? At least stay for coffee and join me for breakfast. Maybe we can start all over and then later on, if you’d let me, I can lend my ear to listen or my shoulder to cry on if you want to.”
You open your mouth—ready to refuse him, no doubt—but stop yourself when you look conflicted. Knowing that you are at least considering it, Namjoon jumps at the chance and asks again,
“Please. It’s the least that I could do,” he says, quickly biting on his tongue to stop himself from saying, ’—after acting like such a schmuck to you last night.’
“We haven’t had a chance to talk either, have we? For us to talk properly, I mean, and without yelling at each other and while we are both sober,” he adds later on, drawing a smile to your face when you seem to realise that he is right. Namjoon’s lips turn to a wry smile when he realises that he had wasted the last few chances he had to talk to you before, how it had always ended with the both of you yelling hurtful things to each other instead of trying to figure out how to deal with the situation.
“Okay,” you whisper after a moment of silence, much to his relief, though he is still surprised that you would agree with him. Your gaze flickers toward the coffee machine as you sigh, before you meet his gaze again. “But I should probably freshen up real quick. Would you mind if I use the shower?” you ask him as you tilt your head towards the en-suite bathroom inside the room you had been sleeping in.
“By all means, help yourself,” Namjoon says with a genuine smile on his face, trying his best to hold back from adding—
Everything in this place will also be yours anyway. All of it.
It took you about 30 minutes to finish washing up.
Though it might have been more. You just know that you have lost track of time as you indulged in the luxury that the marvellous hot shower inside Namjoon’s en-suite bathroom had provided you.
It had not been your intention to stay that long in the shower, but after spending the first five minutes admiring his spacious guest bathroom and its entire fancy setup, it took you another five minutes filled with a lengthy pep talk about how much you deserved to enjoy this moment after what you have gone through before you could finally step into the shower. And you were soon filled with relief that you had talked yourself into taking it when you realised how good it felt as the hot water came running down your body. It almost felt like everything was being washed away—your fear, your pain, whatever was left from last night’s debacle—while the falling water felt more like magical fingers massaging your tense muscles until you could slowly relax. It had been too good and it felt like such a waste to step out early that you stayed longer than you should have, and you had only left when the hot water seemed to cool down and once your stomach began to protest, begging for breakfast.
After coming here completely on impulse and without carrying any personal belongings other than your small purse, you had worried about not having anything to change into. You can only sigh in defeat at the thought of the clothes that you were wearing yesterday turning into a complete mess after spilling some alcohol on yourself at some point following your impulsive act of barging into his home—hence why Namjoon had let you wear his t-shirt when it was somehow decided that you were staying for the night.
You had settled to the thought of wearing your dirty clothes again after your relaxing shower, telling yourself that you would only need to wear them on your way home anyway. But as you step out of the bathroom, wrapped in a fuzzy towel that you had found in the vanity earlier, you are surprised to find a pair of grey sweatpants and a fresh t-shirt left on the bed for you.
Taking no time to dress up, you bite down the smile that keeps trying to sneak its way to your face from thinking about how thoughtful he turns out to be. It feels like a complete turnaround after seeing the side of him that he had shown you last night, knowing that he cares enough to figure out about these things before you could.
The lavish breakfast setup and the scent of freshly brewed coffee welcome you when you walk out of the bedroom. For some reason, they bring some sense of warmth into Namjoon’s home, when all you had felt ever since you walked into this place has been nothing but hollowness. The place had seemed cold and so unfamiliar that it took you a lot of effort to feel comfortable when you laid to sleep last night. Seeing the vacant dining seats, you turn to find him standing all the way in the living room, looking out the massive window to watch over the city as it comes to life.
“This is a lot. Were you trying to feed an army?” you comment loudly before you can stop it, gaining his attention as he turns away from the window to look at you. The moment you meet his gaze, the smile on your face just comes to rise so easily, much to your surprise. And his, judging from the way he blinks rapidly as if he cannot believe what he is seeing. “Thank you for the clothes, by the way. I was already preparing myself to get through the day with the same clothes I was wearing yesterday.”
Namjoon smiles and shakes his head. “I thought you’d want something more comfortable to wear to make you feel better after that shower,” he says while making his way to you. The movement seems so natural that it almost feels like he is used to doing this—that he is used to having you here in his home. But Namjoon is quick to catch himself before getting too close, swiftly stopping and going around the table, taking the seat across from the one you are standing close to and putting the necessary distance between the two of you. “Come sit and eat with me.”
For a moment, you still feel hesitant to take his offer. Sitting here at the dining table with him seems too intimate, too soon, and too confusing. But there is something in his presence and in his words that seem to compel you into moving, eliminating every excuse that you could think of to escape as you easily slip into the empty chair right across from him without so much of a word.
The breakfast starts with silence, and for some reason, it feels oddly comfortable rather than it is being awkward to share this moment with him even when you barely know him. Things continue this way until Namjoon clears his throat and speaks first. “I want to apologise,” he starts, stopping briefly until you pay attention to him so he can continue, “I shouldn’t have said what I said to you, that was wrong of me. I won’t even justify my condition as it happened. I was drunk and caught off guard with the situation, but none of those things should give me the excuse to be an asshole.”
Your lips curl up to a small smile before you can stop yourself. “So you do realise that you were being an asshole?”
Namjoon scoffs in response to your teasing, though his shoulders sag in relief somewhat when you merely joke about it instead of yelling at him like how he seemed to have expected you to. “It’s quite hard not to,” he says with a shrug while giving you a remorseful smile that seems genuine. “I shouldn’t have said such a thing when you were going through so much already. Your life had changed irrevocably in the span of, what—hours?—after years of living in the stability which you had built with Jungkook as a huge part of your life. While it sucks for me to think about it, I understood. And it was way out of line for me to say such a thing when what you needed was someone to hold you up while you were falling.”
Once again, you are stunned speechless. His apology was something that you had expected to hear, but you had initially thought that he would simply say “I’m sorry” and then be done with it. And yet here he is, giving you such a lengthy apology and looking so terribly sincere with every word he says that you feel warmth blooming in your chest. There is also something else tugging within you as he was speaking, something that has your heart pumping and coming alive.
“You’re forgiven. For now,” you whisper to him as you return his gaze. With a sigh, you shake your head and murmur softly, “It must’ve been a shock to you when I came here unannounced, and to top it all, I created a scene—” you stop for a moment and your gaze flicker towards the living room, where the ‘scene’ from last night had happened. You wince when you remember how unruly your behaviour had been and add, “—and made a whole mess at your home when you probably wanted to have some alone time. And for that, I owe you an apology too.”
Instead of taking it, Namjoon only shakes his head. “There is no need for that. You were frustrated and needed someone to yell at. Someone you could put the blame on for everything that had gone down and I had been the most eligible bastard who deserved it, so I’m not going to blame you to take that opportunity when you could,” he says with a smile, drawing a chuckle out of you. But then he lowers his gaze, and the look that he is giving you is filled with concern as he watches you from under his eyelids. “Not to mention—it wouldn’t be fair for you to deal with this on your own when I have just as much part in this as you are.”
With his words reminding you of what had happened, the pain returns inside your chest, and you swallow hard to stop it from becoming stronger before it takes away your calm just when you finally start feeling better. Saying nothing about it, you lower your head and nod. “I didn’t know where I should run to,” you whisper, admitting how lost you had felt when Jungkook left. “And you were right, the moment I found out that Jungkook had learned everything from you, I acted out of instinct and rushed out here to—”
You look up at him just then, finding him lifting his eyebrows when you fail to finish your sentence. “To do what?” he asks, speaking softly and teasingly at the same time. “To punish me? To punch my face and release your anger?”
“All of the above, I suppose,” you answer him, allowing a shy grin to take over your face when he simply does the same. Although the grin quickly fades when your gaze falls onto his cheek, seeing the slightly pinkish shade on his skin which seems to take its time to fade and feeling the tingle on your palm that returns when you remember what you had done.
“I’m sorry, though. For assaulting you last night,” you start to apologise. Your cheeks are beginning to feel warm when you think about how reckless you had been, but you disguise it when you lift your hand and point it at him. “You know, the uhm—” you say to him, stopping to wave a hand at his cheek. “I’m sorry for slapping you.”
Namjoon laughs. “I already told you, I deserved it,” he says with a dimpled smile that has your heartbeat going so fast it nearly takes your breath away with it.
Your gazes lock to one another for a brief moment, and the air around you seems to sizzle. It prickles on your skin and makes your cheeks grow hot that you instantly look away to cease whatever it is that seems to be building between you. It is the connection, your conscience continues to remind you, but you deny it by simply ignoring it, refusing to acknowledge it for the sake of keeping it from becoming real. Thankfully, Namjoon no longer pays attention to you since the moment you severed that connection, already has his eyes on his phone as he continues to finish his simple meal, unaware that you now have your eyes on him again.
Your eyes linger on his face for a moment, silently taking him in while you have the chance to. The memory you have had of him from college and the pictures you have seen over the past few years have done no justice to what you are seeing up close. If you had thought that Jungkook is a perfect specimen of a human being, then Namjoon is—well, a different kind of perfect. While you have no intention of comparing him with your missing fiancé, there is no helping it when you keep seeing Jungkook’s face inside your head while you have your gaze on this man.
The one thing that you love about Jungkook is the soft features he has on his face even when his body is all firm and strong, but with Namjoon, everything about him is all hard, and all male. From the sharp lines on his face to his hard chest—you still remember how he felt under your palms when he pressed you against him—and his strong arms that made you feel small when he held you in his embrace.
As much as you hate to admit it, there is simply no way that you could possibly deny the attraction that is slowly beginning to sink in before you ever had the chance to realise it. When did it happen? Was it an instant pull, right when the soulmate bond snapped into place the night Namjoon’s mark appeared on his wrist? Or did it happen last night, right after you unleashed your anger on him and then you—
Your gaze trails down to find his lips, and almost instinctively the tingles start appearing on your lips just as you are once again taken back to last night, when in the middle of your frenzy, right when your mind was still clouded in the thick haze of your heartbreak and while you were slowly losing all control against the soulmate pull that your body simply—gave in. Right at that moment, you close your eyes, hoping that it would be enough to erase the flashing image of what happened in your blunder, only to feel your stomach dip when you fail and the memory returns.
Why did I have to kiss him?
You reach up and press your fingers on your lips, hoping to wipe the sensation away. But even as you try to do it by brushing your fingers across your lips, you can still feel it coming back to you each time the memory returns, and every single time it happens, your chest tightens with guilt.
It wasn’t that the kiss had been intended. Your emotions had been completely out of control, and the strong alcohol that you had drunk in the desperate need of erasing your pain must have clouded your judgement. You faintly remember Namjoon rushing to stop you from finishing his bottle, yet it only caused your rage to rise further, and you pushed him away while calling him names and accusing him to be petty and selfish for not wanting to share his drink. And when he finally caught your arm and glared at you to reprimand you, when the shove you gave against his chest wasn’t strong enough to draw him away, you ended up grabbing him by his collars and pulled him down until you could press your lips on his.
The kiss was meant to be brief, just something to shut him up because half of your mind had been thinking of smacking his lips with your palm and it was almost as if your body simply decided that using your lips would be a better idea. Clearly, your mind had already short-circuited just then to react so impulsively before you even realised what you were doing.
Despite the numbness and everything about last night that had become nothing but blurry fragments of moments, you still remember everything about the kiss. You still remember how his body stiffened when you reached out and pulled him down and how he was unmoving for a moment when you pressed your lips on his. You still remember how soft and tender his lips had felt when he began to reciprocate and pressed them against yours instead of pulling away, how he took over and seized control until your head spun with delight.
And you cannot deny the fact that your body came alight upon contact and how the tingles kept rising in the heat of the kiss, how it felt just as intoxicating as the drinks that you stole from him that you kept leaning in when he started to deepen the kiss, allowing his tongue to slip in while his hands pulled you closer to him. But the worse part of it all is the fact that instead of pushing him away, you simply relished the way your whole body was burning from the inside and out.
Thinking about it now makes your cheeks burn and your body heats up once more, but you shake it away. You had tried to convince yourself that it would be better for you to forget that it ever happened and move on. But now that he had put everything out in the open, after both of you had been so willing to own up to your mistakes, that decision simply flies out the window and you give in to the guilt that you are feeling inside.
Lowering your head to hide your burning face, you murmur to him, “Then I’m sorry for kissing you. That was—for the lack of a better word, completely inappropriate.” Unsurprisingly, hearing this only makes his smile grow wider, the dimples on his cheeks deepen when he chuckles so pleasingly as if he enjoys seeing you so flustered.
“I’m honestly not too sorry about it,” he softly says, and you almost swear that your heart nearly jumps out of your chest, most specifically when he slowly lifts his intense gaze to yours. You try to act like his words have no effect on you, but you doubt that you can hide it well when a grin comes onto his face. “But all is forgiven. Neither of us had been in our right minds when it happened.”
His words should be giving you some sense of relief, and yet again, your body reacts differently, when a rush of warmth engulfs you. It makes it even harder to deny it when both his words and the way he is looking at you are making you feel—wanted,even if you know that it is only coming from the bond you have between you and nothing else.
Nothing like what you share with Jungkook.
You say nothing to respond to his words, then simply turn away to enjoy your coffee so you would stop getting drawn to his intense gaze. “I don’t remember seeing you cook and there is no traces left in the kitchen showing me that you prepared breakfast while I was in the shower. Except for the coffee. Do you have staff helping you with all of this?” you ask him once another moment of silence settles in, choosing to change the topic just so you can stop thinking about the kiss again, which happens whenever your mind is idle.
Namjoon smiles bashfully. “I do. The staff belongs to the exclusive floors in this building, though. My boss, the benefactor behind the recording company, owns this building, and the staff is always on standby just in case we need anything. They always send me breakfast in the morning. All I had to do was ask for some extra portions so I can have you join me this morning.”
“You must have done it often, haven’t you? Invite someone to stay the night, feed them with lavish breakfast in the morning to woo them—” You have no idea where this thought had come from or what you are trying to accomplish by saying them out loud. And you certainly have not expected to feel a pang of jealousy for picturing all those women he had taken photos with sitting on this very same table with him, possibly in a more intimate way. You clutch onto your cold glass of water to stop yourself from pressing your palm onto your chest, right where the sting is coming from, though the feeling is quick to be replaced with guilt.
Because if knowing that he had shared his life with others before hurts you, even knowing that all he had gone through had been nothing more but short term relationships or flings, then how had he felt when he had to watch you with Jungkook?
“You may not believe me,” Namjoon speaks after clearing his throat, and you lift your eyes to find him looking straight at you so intensely that it makes you shudder in your seat. “But I’ve never invited anyone to stay the night here, or have the staff cook for them. Except for my family, of course.”
“Really? Not even your past girlfriends?”
You immediately regret asking him this when a spark of mirth comes to his eyes. When he seems intrigued at the fact that you are asking him about his past love life.
“How did you know that I’ve been with anyone else before?”
Gritting your teeth, you bite back the response that might end up with you confessing to him that you have been keeping up with his life over the past few years. It didn’t happen often, and not always on purpose either, when his photos just basically appeared even when you were not searching for anything related to him. With a forced smile, you simply answer him with, “Lucky guess. After all, you have always had a date clinging to your arms on the two occasions we met. Surely, it wouldn’t be wrong of me to assume that there are others in between.”
Namjoon blinks. Whether or not he believes you is not really your problem, though you are surprised to see a mix of shock and guilt in his eyes for a brief moment—and maybe a semblance of shame—before everything fades in the next blink. However, he still keeps his eyes on you when he says, “There had been a few casual relationships that I’ve shared in the past, some casual flings, nothing truly serious. Some of the women that people may have seen with me as my date have also been a part of—” he grimaces, “Well, you may call it as special arrangements.”
“What do you mean?”
Namjoon shrugs and gives you a small smile. “It means it was nothing but that, a front to show the public that I had connections. It helped boost the business when I showed up on dates with people who mattered in the business and it mostly helped them at the same time as showing up with me in public put their name out there for people and the media to recognise,” he says, once again surprising you when instead of telling you this while wearing a sense of pride on his face, all that you see on his face is a hint of shame, before he puts on another mask, and he wears a determined look on his face when he says, “So, the answer is no. They’ve never spent the night here and I’ve never opened my home to them. While I can’t say that I’m a saint either, I have had flings, friends with benefits, women that I could call when I needed a company, and oftentimes the public date that people were seeing me in would continue for the rest of the night, if you know what I mean. I can’t tell you all the details, but—” he stops to look at you in the eyes to add, “The time I spent with them had never been spent here, not in my home.”
Clearly, you have no idea how to react to that, or how to respond when he is looking at you with some sort of a hopeful look in his eyes. How could you even say anything when he just opens up that part of his life so easily, to be so easily honest instead of putting up a front just to amuse you? Unable to find anything to say, you look away, nodding at him as you tell him, “I see. Well, what you do at your personal time isn’t truly my business, is it?”
“Did. What I did in my personal time—” he quickly says with a firm voice, drawing you to find his eyes again. “Things have changed. It has to be.”
“You don’t have to change anything just because—” you begin to speak, hating the way your heart is giving some happy little flops in your chest just for hearing him say those things. Because it doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter. And you shouldn’t be jumping up and down in joy when his life doesn’t concern you. “We don’t even know each other to be saying things like this.”
“Then perhaps we can change that.”
“What?”
With a sigh, Namjoon leans forward to get closer to you, his eyes never waver from your face as he speaks, bringing back everything that had once been said between you the last time you met.
Before Jungkook left to give you space.
“Perhaps we can take this chance to get to know each other better. Past the memory of me being the douchebag who talked shit about the soulmate system and ignored you while you were waiting to see me, past the knowledge of me being Jungkook’s friend or the man who put up a front as if I have had a glorious love life in the past,” he says, and you can swear that there is a fire in his eyes, a look that tells you that he is not backing down. Not from this one.
“There is a reason why the universe had put the both of us together and matched us since birth. There is a reason why fate still insisted that we met, regardless of what had happened to us in the past that had kept us apart. Don’t you want to know what reason that might be?”
The weight of Namjoon’s offer sits with you all through breakfast. While it doesn’t do much to ruin the serene moment that you have been sharing with Namjoon right until the moment he said the words, it still has you growing weary and uneasy for the rest of the morning you spend with him.
It becomes a wonder for you when you manage to walk away from the dining table completely unscathed, even if your mind continues reeling over it without even being able to give him a sold answer. As if he can sense it, Namjoon merely smiles when you fall silent after hearing his offer and suggests that you would take your time to consider it.
“You don’t have to give me an answer or agree with it right away. Try to think about it, don’t let me force or affect any decision you make,” he says, before changing the topic just when you come close to start thinking of ways to escape and flee out of his home.
By noon, you are back at your apartment, sitting on the sofa right in front of the television, its empty screen looking back at you. Namjoon had sent his driver to take you home merely an hour ago, right around the same time he had suddenly acquired some motivation to get back to work and had decided that the driver would be of better use to drive you home while he did his duty from his fancy penthouse.
Feeling drained and sensing no other emotions but the emptiness that had followed you since the day before, you had fallen onto this sofa moments after you walked in and you have yet to move away from it since. You should be mulling over his offer, or perhaps plan out what to do to get Jungkook back and have him talk to you. But you are too numb to do anything, much less to function when you can barely think clearly, as if both your body and mind have shut down ever since you returned to your empty home.
Home.
Looking around, you take in your surroundings, gazing at the space that you had built together with Jungkook as a place where you would be—should have been—building your future together. You look at the beige-coloured walls around you which have been adorned with various framed pictures of the two of you and posters of everything that you both enjoy in life, at the room that is filled with all the mementoes that you have collected together with Jungkook through all the years you spent together.
Your mind takes you back to Namjoon’s home, which had appeared a complete contrast to your own. Despite calling it his personal space, Namjoon’s penthouse seemed scarce of intimate touches. It had felt too impersonal for you, with only essential things filling his home instead of the things that would make his personal space homely, with monochrome colours painting all the walls, spaces, and furnitures which seemed to be the opposite of the vibrant colours that you could find in yourhome.
And yet, as you are sitting here on your own, this apartment suddenly feels colder, hollow, as if the warmth that has been a huge part of it has been sucked dry the moment Jungkook stepped out of the door, the moment every bit of hope that you have built simply shattered when he turned away from you, taking all of that hope and your joy away while taking away your right to choose.
With a sharp inhale of breath, you finally snap out of it, and you soon fall in motion to start picking your life back up as much as possible.
You start by contacting your workplace, while you had informed your co-workers of your absence for the past two days, you decide to make it clear that the ‘family emergency’ you are currently dealing with will take some more time to fix and that you will need to take an early vacation leave before you can return to work. Then you start making more phone calls, sending out texts, doing the best you can to trace Jungkook’s whereabouts and confirm that he is okay, that perhaps you can find him and drag him back home to you.
Your stomach dips when Jungkook’s brother contacts you back only to let you know that your fiancé has yet to appear back at their hometown—not at their parents’ house, not at the brother’s house, and nowhere near their other relatives or old friends. Another call confirms what Namjoon had told you that Jungkook has yet to step foot at the company either, while none of your close friends claims to have been contacted by Jungkook since the day he was gone.
It takes a lot of convincing and pleading to Jungkook’s brother to make him believe that nothing is wrong and to make him promise that he wouldn’t let the news reach their parents. And it takes you a lot of vague explanations to answer all the questions that your friends throw at you with each call or text to keep them from finding out what is actually happening.
Your sister is the last person you call, and her voice immediately feels like a warm hug. Even before you start explaining to her all the details, Gahee seems to have sensed it, as if she had been expecting to receive this call for a long time.
“Gosh, I’m so sorry, _____, I have no idea what to say. Do you want to stay here with us until he comes back? Youngjae has a conference to attend out of town this weekend and I was just about to ask you to stay here to keep me company and help out with Gyeoul anyway,” she softly says.
“I don’t know,” you whisper into the call. “I want to be here if—when he comes back.” Your throat feels constricted that you can barely say those words, and you realise just how unconvincing you sounded even to yourself. Your eyes begin to prickle and burn with tears for the lost hope, but you suck a deep breath and hold everything in. Only for your effort to turn futile when your sister offers,
“I know that you want to wait for him. But would it be a good idea to wait on your own? At least when you’re here, you have Gyeoul and me to distract you. You wouldn’t have everything that reminds you of him suffocating and torturing you in your wait.”
Suffocating? Is that what this place is making me feel?
You begin to wonder about this just when your chest grows even tighter the moment your eyes fall on one of the photos that Jungkook had put on display. An old photo of you taken on your birthday two years ago.
You close your eyes briefly before taking another look around you just as you end the phone call. Not a moment too soon, the silence sinks in, as if it has been waiting in the shadows, lurking around you until the moment you are no longer busy with calls and texts to finally notice it and it would finally engulf you, wrapping itself around you until you find it hard to simply breathe.
Right at that moment, you know that you would never be able to survive sitting here in your silence and in the not knowing only to wait helplessly for Jungkook’s return. Determined to not let yourself drown in sorrow, you finally make your move.
By dusk, you have your personal things packed up. Essential things that you would need to get through the upcoming days and only enough spare clothes to get through the week. By nightfall, you are sitting inside an Uber ride taking you across the city. The hollowness follows you even after you are kilometres away from your apartment, though you can slowly feel it fading, chipped in with every added distance. You try not to think too much about where you are heading to, keeping your eyes looking out the window and watching closely at the city that still thrives while your entire world seems to be falling apart.
By the time you reach your destination, your chest no longer feels tight, though you still feel completely numb. And it doesn’t help eliminate your spiking nerves as you stand right in front of the doorway, your heart stammering in your chest as you are waiting for it to be opened.
The sound of the keys and the door clicking open feels like a gavel coming down to seal your fate. A sense of uncertainty plagues you as you are standing there, though it all fades so quickly when you lift your face and meet Namjoon’s eyes.
“I—I don’t know why I’m here, but—”
Once again, you feel as if your throat is clogged when you are not even completely sure how to explain yourself. The last thing you remember was feeling the dread of loneliness while being alone inside your home. That intense feeling had pulled you right out of it to find solace, only to lead you all the way here, back to his door.
While you are busy questioning yourself, Namjoon simply smiles at you and steps aside, widening the door behind him so you could step right past him. There is no question in his eyes, no doubt in his smile, and there is nothing but pure warmth engulfing you when he says,
“Come in. You’re always welcome here, _____.”
➥ Author’s note | Forgive me for the wait, but this one took a bit of time to finish. As you may have noticed, I have added another chapter on the masterpost. I have decided to split the original chapter into two, with chapter 8 as the filler chapter, while more intriguing stuff will happen later on chapter 9. I hope you enjoyed reading this one. Thank you for joining this emotional ride. Any feedback is welcome!
➬ Summary | When your countdown appeared on your wrist right on the morning of your eighteenth birthday, you had thought that perhaps the universe was on your side, especially since the final seconds were already ticking so soon. You just never expected to have your first meeting with your soulmate to be the day when you had to let him go. But hope was not lost when you still found love without the bond, and Jungkook showed you that it was possible to find happiness beyond the system that was written for you. Except that the universe doesn’t seem to have enough of its game, when your past sacrifice comes back hitting you straight in the face, just when you had believed that you had written off the perfect ending to your bittersweet tale.
↳ Pairings | Jungkook x reader / Namjoon x reader
↳ Genre | Soulmate!au, Second Chances!au, Angst, Eventual Smut
➥ Ratings & Warnings | +18 / M for Mature; mentions of alcohol consumptions/hangover, implied/depiction of a one-night-stand, possible infidelity, implied smut, sexual tension.
Jungkook can sense it even before he opens his eyes. Even the fog that seems to fill the crevices in his head can do nothing to stop him from noticing how foreign everything around him feels.
The warmth enveloping him.
The soft touch of sheets under his palms.
The thick, plushy pillows where his head seems to be resting on.
The feminine scent of perfume that seems to be wafting through the air around him, gently breezing past him like delicate hands teasing on his skin.
As he slowly finds the strength to open his eyes and force himself to wake up, Jungkook’s eyes flutter open to the warm morning sun greeting him from the open windows. As he stretches out his sore limbs, little by little, the remaining haze of his sleep is lifted, and he stops moving as he is immediately met with an astounding sight of his surroundings. His eyes grow wide the moment he realises that he has indeed fallen asleep in a completely different bedroom, lying on a different bed, with windows on the opposite side of the walls that are nearly twice as big as the ones that he has been looking out of since he had gotten on this island. He looks around, and everything that he is seeing officially confirms that he had not been sleeping in Yugyeom’s room.
His heartbeat begins to race in a state of panic, not knowing where he is. And while he rarely ever had any experience of waking up with a hangover or having any piece of his memory missing after spending the night out drinking, Jungkook quickly finds that he has no clear idea of what had truly happened last night. The last thing he remembers is sitting at the bar with Tasha, the one person he would have never expected to meet in such a place.
They haven’t met each other even once after their first and last encounter at Bovine months ago, yet it certainly felt as if they had been old friends the moment they started to talk to each other. Last night, they spent hours sharing drinks, exchanging stories, and laughing at the things they found astounding from any topic that they brought up while admiring the serenity that they found from spilling their thoughts about the universe and the lives of all human beings who are living in it.
Sitting up on the bed, Jungkook finds himself still wearing last night’s clothes. The faint headache that has come up when he was trying to move easily fades as he leans back against the headrest, though he still feels as if his entire energy has been depleted after all that drinking last night that he refuses to make any other move despite the urge to investigate further to find out where he is.
Letting his head fall back, he closes his eyes, trying to regain his memory and figure out just how he had gotten here. It is then when he hears someone knocking at the door. He barely has the chance to open his eyes or to even respond when the door opens and the slow movement happening at the door catches his attention.
“Knock, knock.”
Jungkook quickly turns to the doorway, blinking rapidly when he finds Tasha standing there while leaning against the door frame. Wearing simple clothing—a plain white T-shirt over a pair of pastel-coloured leggings, which is a complete contrast to the dress that she had worn last night—she looks refreshed, ready to start the day. And she also looks completely unaffected by the drinks that she had last night.
Jungkook’s eyes fall on her exposed wrist. The sight of the purple hydrangea tattoo appearing on her skin reminds him of the conversation that they both had last night. His eyes are still on her wrist when she raises her hand, lifting the mug that she has been carrying with her to cover the bright smile showing on her face. Her eyes seem to glint under the sunlight, clearly looking amused at what she is seeing, and her eyebrows are raised as she watches Jungkook silently trying to piece everything together. The frown he is wearing on his face clearly shows just how much he is struggling to do so.
“Wake up, sleepyhead. Don’t you even think about going back to sleep now,” Tasha greets him, finally snapping him out of it.
“What—” Jungkook straightens up further and glances around. “What happened last night? Is this your place? How did I get here?”
Instead of answering him, Tasha merely smiles at him. “Why don’t you freshen up first and then we’ll talk over breakfast? Or coffee? Do you drink coffee?” Jungkook absently nods while still looking like a lost puppy, so Tasha simply continues to talk. “Go take a shower. The bathroom is over there,” she says, pointing at the door on the other side of the room which seems to be leading to the ensuite bathroom. “I’ll have everything ready and have someone fetch you some fresh clothes to change into once you’re done.”
Jungkook opens his mouth to respond, but misses his chance to say anything when Tasha has already slipped away from the door when he turns to find her again. Deciding that he wouldn’t be getting any answers by staying put on the bed that feels almost too comfortable for him to lie on, he rushes towards the bathroom to freshen up, taking his time with it until he can finally find some clarity.
Even if he still can’t remember a few things from last night which had led him to end up in Tasha’s place. And in her bed, nonetheless.
He finds the clothes just as promised when he finally steps out of the bathroom, all prepared for him on the bed. The dark-coloured shirt and pants seem to fit him suspiciously well, but he chooses not to think much about it as he walks out of the bedroom. On his way to find Tasha, Jungkook looks around and soon finds that he is in a loft that looks like a part of the resort where he had been spending his night, judging from the familiar view of the beach and the ocean that he can see through the windows. He follows the scent of brewing coffee to find Tasha getting busy in the kitchen, surprising him as he sees her cooking on the stove herself instead of having her staff do it for her.
“Go take a seat. I’ll be ready in a minute,” she calls out to him while moving fluently around the kitchen, fetching him the coffee that she had made like a pro. “I have no idea what kind of coffee you’re into so I made a light one. I’ve put some extra cream on the side if you want some more.”
Jungkook takes the mug filled with coffee and turns away, deciding to take a look around rather than sitting idly by as he feels too restless to do so when he has a ton of questions running inside his head. He finds the living room looking homey and comfortable, a sign that she has been using this place quite often as her personal living space. He walks past the large-sized television hanging on one wall before stopping in front of a drawer nearby where he finds a few framed pictures being placed on display.
Looking at them makes his chest grow tight. He sucks a deep breath to ease the pain, though it seems too hard for him to do so when he only remembers how this setup reminds him too much of what he has back home—how you have decorated his living room in a similar way, with a low drawer full of trinkets holding various framed pictures on top that documented his entire life together with you.
Shaking his head, Jungkook focuses back on the pictures in front of him and starts to look closer into them. Most of them seem to have been taken while Tasha was travelling to different places as they are showing Tasha posing in various locations—either somewhere in South Korea or abroad—while some others are showing images of her with her family and friends. Then he stops as he finds a wedding photo placed near the center. The picture is showing a man wearing his wedding suit while smiling broadly with his arm wrapped around a younger woman who appears to be his bride pressed onto his left side. On his right, held under his other arm is Tasha, who is smiling warmly into the frame while she keeps her hand on the man’s chest as she stands politely close to him.
“Is this your family? I don’t recall you ever telling me that you have a brother,” he starts asking before he can stop himself. For a moment, he gets nothing but silence, until Tasha’s voice comes startling him once she has moved to stand next to him.
“That’s because I don’t. I’m an only child,” she says.
“Then, who are these people?”
Reaching out to pick up the photo, Tasha releases a soft sigh. “Oh, he’s my soulmate. But he’s married to someone else,” she easily says to him, catching him by surprise that he snaps his head to look at her with wide eyes, only to see her smiling back. “That’s his wife on his left. The photo was taken on their wedding day.”
Seeing that Jungkook is left too stunned to speak, Tasha softly laughs and places the framed photo back in its previous place before wrapping her hands around his arm to pull him away. “You’re in shock. I get it. Why don’t we sit down, have some breakfast and coffee so we can get rid of that hangover of yours while we talk? I’ll tell you everything about them.”
“You’re being too quiet.”
Jungkook looks up from his second cup of coffee—light, a bit sweeter and with extra cream, just like how she had suggested for him to take since she only makes strong ones—and returns Tasha’s gaze.
“You can probably see that I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything,” he says to her after a beat of silence and once he realises that he had barely touched his meal despite feeling the hunger ever since he woke up earlier. With a sigh, Jungkook decides to be honest and share what he has been thinking. “I have so many questions that I don’t know just where to start.”
Tasha nods and places her own mug of coffee down on the table. “Well, I can begin by telling you that nothing happened between us after we finished our last drink. You were drunk, not to the point that you blacked out because of it, but enough to make it hard for me to drag you home. I had Hyuk, the bartender, helping me to carry you out of the place safely, but then you refused to go home. You kept telling me that your friend wouldn’t be home and you refused to tell me his address, so I figured it would have been easier for me to drag you here instead since we’re only a few floors down.”
Jungkook has suspected this but still grimaces as he imagines the chaos that he had created. “I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble.”
Tasha waves her hand. “Oh, it’s fine. I already got something good out of it, at least. Consider us even,” she says to him with a wink and an elated smile taking over her face, while Jungkook’s face feels warm when he remembers seeing the aforementioned bartender from last night walking out of another bedroom merely moments before Jungkook sat down at the dining table. The man looked freshly showered and was refusing to join breakfast, saying that he needed to get back to work before his boss would scold him for slacking off. Though the man didn’t leave before kissing Tasha right on the lips one last time and promising to return for the night once he is off the clock and if she ever needs his company.
Jungkook has no idea how to feel about knowing that his new female friend was having a fling coming by while he was passed out right next door. But the bartender didn’t seem to mind it, nor did he seem to care about Jungkook’s presence in the room at all, and Tasha did apologise for taking the chance to have fun while he was out of it. At least the revelation had allowed him to breathe a sigh of relief, as it had confirmed everything that Tasha had just told him, that he truly hadn’t done anything stupid while he was crazy drunk.
Jungkook turns his gaze around the room to find the photo that he had found earlier, placed right at the spot where it would be visible even from the distance. “You and your soulmate—” he begins to question her. “What happened between you?”
Tasha raises her pretty eyebrows before her eyes find the very same photo that had caught Jungkook’s attention. A deep sigh slips out of her, though there is nothing more but affection and longing in her eyes when she thinks about the past. “I met Wooyoung in freshman year. He’s much older than I am and was already graduating then. We met during a joint event held between the university that I was studying in and the neighbouring university he was still enrolled in. It was a huge shock for us both when we met, to say the least, one that I had expected, with my timer running out before I stumbled into his path. I don’t really think either of us had been fully prepared for it either, so neither of us knew how to react. And then I found out that he had fallen in love with his childhood best friend who was also present at the time. They had been dating for years already.”
Tasha stops for a moment, taking a deep breath as she recalls the past. There is a faraway look in her eyes. Though, to Jungkook’s surprise, she looks more amused than hurt as she remembers what happened.
“Things were rough right after. Wooyoung and I tried to work things out and figure out how to handle things. You have probably guessed it, but the soulmate bond came to us so strong that it was hard for us to ignore it. But then, soon enough, we both realised that the only reason we were both attracted to each other was onlybecause of the soulmate bond while his first love would always remain to have a special place in his heart,” she slowly adds, smiling softly as the memory returns to her. “We sat down together after we figured it out—the three of us—and had a long talk about our future. They told me about her soulmate, how she had found out on her eighteenth birthday that she had lost him before ever meeting him the moment she saw that her mark appeared immediately after her timer ran out and once the cursive letter showed up on her skin, writing in red ink—”
Jungkook flinches and starts to brush his fingers absentmindedly on his own wrist as he remembers his own experience with his soulmate mark. He still remembers that morning as if it had only happened a short while ago. How he witnessed the numbers appearing on his skin, how his breath stilled when he saw how fast the timer had counted down to zero, and how the purple petals bloomed right after, before his soulmate’s initials began to write themselves in red cursive letters. He clenches his hands when he imagines that traumatic event happening to someone else. Someone like the bride in the photo that Tasha has kept between the other memorabilia gracing her home, who he had seen smiling so prettily and kindly to the camera with her eyes glowing in unshed tears of happiness.
When he looks up again, he finds Tasha staring back at him with a knowing look in her eyes, as if she knows exactly where his mind has been wandering to. “Yes, just like yours,” she whispers, nodding at his wrist. “At first, Wooyoung only wanted to stay beside her to support her, to help her deal with her heartbreak and help her get through until she could learn to love someone else. But love bloomed between them during that time. Before they even knew it, they were slowly building their future together. Until the day I came barrelling into their lives. Literally.”
Tasha softly laughs as she describes how she had crossed Wooyoung’s path at the campus festival, how she had tripped and nearly fall before he caught her, the perfect portrayal of how she came into their lives without any warning. Jungkook smiles as he listens to her story before a frown comes to his face. “It must have been rough on you to witness that.”
Smiling softly at him, Tasha simply lifts her shoulders. “It was, at first. But I got over it when I saw how much they were completely in love with each other,” she says, surprising Jungkook further when he sees the deep love in her eyes as she talks about her soulmate and his wife together. “There was never a place for me in their lives, other than what I’ve earned for helping them.”
“I don’t understand,” Jungkook murmurs, tilting his head.
With a sly grin on her face, Tasha leans closer to whisper as if she is sharing a big secret and someone else would be listening in. “You see, I helped them get married,” she says, and her grin grows wider as Jungkook’s eyes widen in shock. “They wanted to elope when their families were against them getting together. Especially when Wooyoung’s family found out by chance that I was his actual soulmate. So I pretended to steal him away from his lover, when in reality, I was flying them both off to one of the resorts that my Dad’s company was partnered with in Fiji so they could get married there. Of course, I had to come with them as an alibi for my absence and to act as their witness.”
“Why?” Jungkook gasps. “Why would you do that?” he questions her, though deep down, he can already guess what her reasoning might be.
Tasha leans back with a low chuckle. “I already told you once, didn’t I? I’m a sucker for romance. I love the whole idea of love, and to the idea of shoving your middle finger to the universe to show them that they are not always right and they don’t always get to decide who we fall in love with,” she says, laughing softly as if she is picturing herself doing it, to put her hand up and show her middle finger to the sky and to the universe that had tried to play around with her fate. “It also helped that Wooyoung was a complete stranger to me at the time and the bond only made me look at him more like an older brother than a possible lover once we got close to each other.”
Jungkook falls silent for a moment. “What did your family think? Your father?”
As he mentions her father, Tasha releases a deep sigh. “My Dad was a tough one to crack, but he was the first person to understand. I’ve always been a Daddy’s girl, being the only child he had ever gotten from his marriage with my Mom. He had wanted to have a son for a long time, but had initially come to love me just the same. As I was his only baby, he did get worried, at first. But I managed to convince him that it was my choice, and by choosing to help the one I was intended to be with to be together with the love of his life, I had somehow proven to him that I was someone who knew my priorities well and that I would know how to take care of the people I came to care about. Just exactly the kind of person he needed to inherit his entire business empire.”
Tasha smiles to herself as she recalls the events happening then, when she remembers how she had defied her own family. “He gave in after I promised that I would make it up by working my ass off to help him with the family business and to never shut away from any possibilities of finding my own life partner who would be good to me in the future once I’m ready for it.”
Once again, Jungkook is silent as he slowly lets everything that Tasha had just shared with him to sink in. Slowly sipping on his coffee, he begins to compare Tasha’s past to his current life. “Is that why you’ve been helping me? The reason why you took me home? Have you been planning to tell me all of this all along?”
Tasha smiles at him. “I took you home because it was what friends do to make sure the person they’re with is safe for the night. But yes, I did have a purpose for taking you with me and I have a reason for telling you all of this. I just want you to see that there is always another way. Another path to choose. We always have that choice, no matter what the world is making us believe when it comes to the silly soulmate system. It’s only a matter of whether or not we are brave enough to take it,” she slowly explains, before leaning closer once again. “I know what you’re doing. You’re giving them space to figure things out, aren’t you? That’s why you’re here instead of staying back there with her while she’s figuring things out.”
Swallowing hard, Jungkook admits how on point her words are and he can only nod to answer, earning a warm, knowing look from Tasha before she explains further, “That’s exactly what Wooyoung’s wife did for us too. She took a step back after she found out that I was his true soulmate, giving him the chance to embrace the universe’s gift—her own words.” Tasha lifts her hands and makes a gesture to depict quotation marks while laughing.
”But, instead of pushing us to be together, the time we had spent together had only helped open our eyes to see just how deep the love that they had truly was when he couldn’t find himself feeling the same deep love for me as what he had already felt for her.”
Leaning back, Jungkook takes a deep breath while taking it all in. Once again, he compares his own situation with hers, placing himself in the shoes of Wooyoung’s wife and thinking back to the reason why he is hiding all the way in Jeju, realising that he is doing the same thing as she did while you are experiencing what Tasha had gone through in the past. He was sure that taking himself out of the equation would help you figure things out and decide what would be best for you without him getting in the way. Except he is no longer sure if staying away for this long had been the best decision for himself and for everyone involved, when no matter how much he had wanted to make sure that you would be able to find your happiness, there is also a bigger part inside him that still insists to fight for you, to believe the words that you had told him about proving just how strong the bond between the two of you would be compared to what the universe keeps forcing on you.
If he wants to be honest, he has been feeling this way for quite a while. Maybe even since day one, when he was standing in Yugyeom’s studio apartment and feeling out of place and lost without you. But he just kept refusing to admit it, denying what his heart had wanted, all because he had also known that he wouldn’t be able to take his words and actions back after what he had done to you on the day he left.
Shaking his head, he accepts his fault for making such rash decisions and he regrets ever ignoring the voice inside his head that had kept telling him to stay and fight with you. Drawing a deep breath, he looks at Tasha and questions her, “How are you so open to this? How can you be so—”
“Amenable? Flexible? Carefree? Wild?” Tasha begins to fill in when he is unable to find the right word to describe her and her actions.
Jungkook grins. “Bold. Forward-thinking. And yes, easygoing, and also for being so open-minded and daring, even when it comes to believing in something that no other people had the courage to put their faith into.”
Tasha laughs softly before looking at him with a sharp look in her gaze. “Because I believe that there are far more important things out there beyond the silly soulmate system that had been created for us,” Tasha says as she pours more coffee into her empty mug, then does the same to fill Jungkook’s while she keeps talking. “It’s not like I don’t truly respect the soulmate system. But, I mean—sure, it sounds promising and completely hard to resist to have the entire universe making sure that we won’t have any problem finding someone to build our entire lives with. It truly is a gift that fates have it in them to make sure that we wouldn’t be alone in this world. It sounds like the perfect way to live knowing that there is someone out there made for us to love and to have our happiness written down for us since we were born into this world, don’t you think?”
“But—?”
“But—” Tasha grins. “Would it really be better and more real compared to the kind of love that we find for ourselves, the one that we would be willing to sacrifice everything for? If the universe can have a choice to play around with our fate—” she stops to give a pointed look on Jungkook’s wrist before continuing, “—then why can’t we have our choice to decide who to fall in love with?”
Jungkook blinks rapidly. All of a sudden, his chest feels tight and heavy when her words seem to strike him deep in his chest.
Because she is right.
And he feels like a fool for forgetting the fact that he had once believed the same thing as well.
All this time, he had always known that he has everything that anyone could have asked for and that he had found it with you. The kind of love that runs so deep that he feels his chest flutter each time he thinks about you. The love that has grown so deep that it becomes the reason why his heart is still beating at this very moment and why he has been hurting ever since the day he walked away. At first, he had truly believed that it would be best for him to step aside, just so you could embrace the gift that the universe is giving you. The gift that he had lost.
But walking away had only made him feel the pain that he has never felt before. Being away from you had only been complete torture. It makes him feel like he is dying inside, how the distance has slowly been chopping up his soul, taking it piece by broken piece that he no longer knows if he would have anything left of himself once the whole ordeal is over.
Once again, as if knowing where his mind is wandering off to, Tasha reaches out to grab his hand and gently says, “What you have with your girlfriend is real. Never doubt that part. I saw it with my own two eyes and I know exactly what I saw then when you were together. Why did you think I made all the effort of helping you with your surprise proposal if not because I believed in the love you had for each other?”
Shaking his head, Jungkook chuckles softly. “You’re right. You really did help me—a lot. And you didn’t even know what my situation was like back then, did you?”
Letting his hand go, she shrugs lightly and confesses, “I may not have seen it back then to know that you were not each other’s true soulmate, but I could sense something special going on between you. Something that was stronger than the soulmate connection that the entire world has been selling us. Call it a hunch from someone who had been there once.”
Jungkook bites his lips as he takes his time to think things over, before curiosity gets the best of him when he wonders how Tasha could be so strong and brave while he has been feeling so powerless against his own ordeal. “Have you ever felt—afraid, for defying fate? You’ve fought against them when you let your soulmate go so he could be with the one he loves, and now you’re trying to help me be together with the only person I’ve ever loved.”
With a light chuckle, Tasha gently shakes her head. “Have I been afraid of doing something so out of the ordinary and to defy the force that would be strong enough to ruin our entire lives under its will? Absolutely,” she admits to him before giving him a smug grin. “But it’s still not enough to make me stop doing it. I’ve always loved watching people chase the love that they choose, to fight for their happiness and get what they deserve. If I have the will and power to do something to help make it happen, I would do so with everything I have, knowing that it makes me feel happy by helping others feel the same thing. It gives me a sense of freedom that could heal my soul. And if that means that I’d be forever fighting against Fate to allow myself to feel this way, then I’ll do it over and over again.”
Jungkook looks down as he thinks deeply about her words, silently wondering if he would ever be able to be just as strong as she does. For the first time, after the day he came to find out that Namjoon was your soulmate, crushing every hope he had ever kept in his mind about having you in his life, he begins to find that missing sparks of hope blooming in his chest. Suddenly, the good faith that he had about his love for you returns full force after he had kept it dormant for the sake of giving you the chance to have what you had once wanted.
Now that the feeling has come back to him, the determination to fight against the universe and to get you back grows stronger. Though it doesn’t stop him from questioning himself—
Can he actually do it?
He keeps asking himself this as he thinks about fighting for his love and rebuilding the life that he has with you once again, no matter what it would cost him. But then he remembers how he had walked out and stepped away from you when you had insisted to make him stay so that you could fight alongside him to prove your love. He thinks about the past week that he was gone, knowing that the soulmate bond would have pulled you to Namjoon in his absence, leaving him to wonder—
Would it be too late for him to return home now and claim you back?
That same morning, you wake up in the same guest bedroom that you have been staying in, feeling so tired and broken.
You had kept the room dark, choosing to keep the lights off and keeping the curtains closed even when the dawn has long broken and the warm sunlight is forcing itself to come in. You cannot remember when you had fallen asleep, as you had found it hard to do so with your mind wandering all over the place while waves of emotions kept rushing through you all night to make you feel restless. The mixture of guilt, sadness, and hope, all collided into one before they all turned into despair before you were finally dragged into the darkness of your slumber only in your exhaustion.
Whatever glint of hope that you felt last night after receiving the call from Jungkook’s brother has now been replaced by self-condemnation and trepidation which keep intensifying each time the events from last night return to you. With a long exhale of sigh, you close your eyes, letting the memory replay itself in your head despite your wish to erase them and forget that they ever happened at all.
“It’s okay. Just give in. I’ll be here to hold you.”
Those were the words that Namjoon had whispered to you after he laid you down on his bed. It was obvious that he could see your fear when you were second-guessing yourself and while you were still trying to make sense of what was going on, and it was clear that he had noticed it as well when the bond between you took its form, as it gave its final effort of putting you both together.
But it was you who had pulled him down to you, and you had been the one giving him the kiss that should have sealed the deal.
You had come so close, just a step away from cementing your bond for eternity and severing the bond that you had built in your old life. You had already crossed the line merely seconds before, the remaining waves of your pleasure were still surging through you to remind you of it and your body was still calling for him. Yet, the moment you took in his scent, breathing in the warmth that was engulfing you in his embrace, something else inside you was shifting, and it was slowly winning, taking control to pull you out of the blinding haze.
And just then, the moment you closed your eyes, you realised that it was not his face that came into your mind. It wasn’t his voice nor his touch that your soul was searching for, and it snapped something inside you which slowly took away the fog that had clouded your sanity.
“Let it in. Let me in, baby. I know that deep down, you already know that this is so right.”
Those were the words that had compelled you into giving in to the bond and the sparks that had been building up between you all night. But right at that moment, as your soul began to cry out for another and started breaking apart inside you, everything about it felt so wrong.
With a sharp gasp, you gently pushed him away, breaking the kiss before it could have the chance to go further. Your heartbeat was still pacing rapidly in your chest, though each thrum was meant for a different reason, and the ache that came barrelling over you had nothing to do with him nor his presence. You had refused to open your eyes just then, unwilling to see the pain of your rejection reflecting in his eyes, something that you had no doubt would find after giving him such hope with what you had allowed to transpire.
And you simply refused to see reality, to know that the person holding you was not the one who you had truly wanted to be there and to have your heart broken once again knowing that he was not there.
But then a gentle brush of a finger on your cheek urged you to open your eyes, and you were surprised that instead of looking at you with disappointment and rage, Namjoon was staring at you with a warm, knowing smile plastered on his gorgeous face. It had taken you a moment and another wipe of his fingers on your face to realise that you had been crying, and that had been the reason he knew what was going on.
That your heart and soul had finally found their resolve to fight against the invisible force that had been taking control over you, and not even the soulmate bond could drown what your heart had truly desired.
And the one that your heart had been calling for was not him.
“I’m so sorry,” you had pleaded with him once reality hit you until your chest grew so tight you could barely breathe. You felt mortified, lost, and disgusted with yourself for allowing things to continue, and for ever giving him hope. And for coming so close to doing something more to severe what you had been trying to protect.
“Sshh—” Namjoon whispered to you, and you blinked your eyes to find him still smiling warmly, his gaze still filled with an understanding look instead of despair or disgust. “It’s okay, baby. I know.”
His gentle words had only made you cry louder, sending you into a sobbing mess as you fell apart beneath him. “I want him back.”
With a sigh, Namjoon continued to brush away your tears. “I know, baby. And he will come back to you. Even if he won’t, I’ll be the one dragging his ass back for making you cry every single night that he was gone.”
“This is—” you choked between your sobs and in the realisation that he had known how often you had cried yourself to sleep for missing Jungkook. You looked away from him, blinking away your tears so that you would be able to speak to him more clearly. Realising how vulnerable and exposed you were the moment the blissful fog faded from your mind, you pulled back and wrapped your arms around yourself, trying your best to cover your body from his eyes. “This shouldn’t have happened. None of this. I’m so sorry for allowing this to—”
“It had to happen,” Namjoon said, tipping your chin up just when you tried to hide from him. He made you look into his eyes, to be able to see that the same fog that had muddled his conscience had also faded from him and that he was able to think more logically now so he could calm you down. “We have both been focusing on the bond—with me who was feeling it for the first time and with you who kept fighting it—until it became the only thing we both felt above everything else. We had to let it happen so that we could open our eyes and see beyond that pull once it fades.”
Despite knowing that his words had been right, the way he said it to you still drew a bitter chuckle to come out of you. “Are you going to talk me out into believing that this was just one of those ‘getting it out of our system’ moments?”
“No, it’s nothing like that.” Namjoon gave you a sad smile before shrugging. “Maybe a little, but more like—” he stopped with a sigh, then reached out to grab a blanket from the other side of the bed which he then used to cover your bareness, wrapping it tightly around your body as if he wanted to keep your warm while protecting you from his roaming gaze. And he did it while he kept on talking, “—allowing yourself to see what your heart is asking for instead of what your body and mind is telling you to do.”
Keeping the blanket wrapped tightly around you, you kept your eyes low as Namjoon shifted away to find his pants and started putting them back on. “I’m so confused,” you whispered weakly to yourself, though it didn’t stop Namjoon from hearing them.
Lying beside you, Namjoon pulled you up until you were resting on his pillows, tucked nicely right next to him where he made you feel safe. “It’s okay to be confused. I know that you are. Honestly, I am too,” he gently said to you with a reassuring smile, one that didn’t truly reach his eyes. “But we’ll figure it out in the morning. I don’t think it would be wise to try and solve everything tonight, after what had just happened.”
You had taken that moment to ponder over his words, to wonder if you could truly believe everything that he was telling you. There was hope for a change simmering within you. Hope for a chance to reclaim the life that you had with the man that you truly loved. And yet the feeling fell short when you remembered how powerless you had been to stop things from carrying on, and how you had put yourself in this position despite your determination to wait for Jungkook’s return.
Namjoon must have felt your worries when he gently pulled you to him. His touch bared no lust when he held you to him, and his smile only offered to give you comfort as he laid down next to you, staying close to offer you his warmth and his company while you were shivering in your uncertainty.
“Stay with me tonight. I promised to hold you, didn’t I? Let me take care of you, _______,”
For the last time.
Those were the words that had been left unspoken, the words that had only made you feel even more guilty, knowing that you had been the one to cause the pain reflecting in his eyes when he pulled you into his arms for one last time, only to keep you safe in his hold until he was supposed to let you go.
Your chest still feels heavy when you take a look around the room. You try to ignore the feeling, however, and focus on making sure that you have everything packed with you and that you wouldn’t be leaving anything behind as you make your leave.
Once you are sure that you are completely ready to step away from this room once and for all, holding your travel bag in one hand and your purse in the other, you realise that you have never felt more resolved than ever, when you finally know what to do next.
Just a week ago, you had walked into this penthouse while feeling lost, dazed and confused from having two strong forces pulling you in two different directions. If only you had known then where to look, perhaps you wouldn’t have found your way here and things might have ended differently.
Much, much different than how things have turned out to be so far.
But you also know that you might have ended up living without knowing the answers to a lot of questions, haunted by the need to wonder about all the what-ifs and what could have been without ever knowing the truth. Without truly knowing what your soul has been searching for.
“You’re ready to leave?”
Namjoon appears in your path just as you walk out the door of your former bedroom. Looking just as weary as you are, he stares at you silently, not looking too shocked to see you packed and ready to go. His eyes fall on the bag you are carrying and his gaze softens for realising what is currently happening.
“I think it’s time. I’ve overstayed my welcome,” is the only thing you can say to him. You look at him a while longer, even if you have no clear idea what you are trying to find. To your reprieve, the pain that you had briefly seen in his eyes last night is no longer present, though you can also feel him putting up a wall when he straightens his shoulders and pushes his hands into his pocket.
Namjoon lowers his head as he smiles, and it is then when you can see a glimpse of remorse and pain flickering on his face, though you see no trace of them when he looks up at you again, all of his emotions are masked underneath the warm smile that he is giving you. Taking a deep inhale of breath, you realise how much it pains you to know that he is hiding his true feelings from you. The fact that he is masking his pain for your sake feels so wrong, but you also know that there is nothing that you can do about it. Not anymore, as you have made your choice and it had been some of the choices that you had made which had put the invisible strain that he is carrying and fighting so hard to hide. Once again, your guilt pinches at your heart, and you want nothing more than to fix things for him.
If only you know how to do it without sacrificing your soul.
Knowing that you no longer have the right to mess with his emotions, you do the only next best thing you know what to do.
“For what it’s worth, I did enjoy my time here with you and I’m grateful that we had a chance to see things clearly before moving on. I guess this way, at least, we’ll be leaving no place for all the questions and the what-ifs,” you calmly say to him, silently hoping that your words will not only be holding some truth in them for yous, but for him as well.
For years, despite thinking and believing that you had somehow moved on from his rejection, you have always known that deep down, you still had questions about what had happened. There had been times when you were up at night wondering about all the possibilities that had come from all the unknowing, while having no answers to help you find some peace in your heart to could actually heal you from your heartbreak.
You only realise now that have never once had the chance to find closure after his past rejection. Until now.
“Thank you for opening your doors for me and for allowing me to stay here. It’s been—” you softly laugh as you try to think of the perfect way to truly illustrate what you feel. “—quite a ride,” you finally say with a low chuckle, and you are pleased that it draws a smile from him too. With a sigh, you carefully add, “But I certainly won’t forget everything that we have shared for the past week, how much you have helped me and the friendship that we have built together. Thank you for your patience and for being so kind to me despite everything.”
Nodding his head, Namjoon seems to come to terms with the situation. Because the moment you find his gaze again, there is a glimpse of relief showing from his eyes. “You know that you’ll always be welcome here. My door will always be open for you whenever you need a place to run to,” he says with a smile, before quickly adding while jokingly, “But I truly hope that you won’t be needing it again so soon.”
Both of you smile and laugh at what he just said, and then his expression changes when he asks you, “I take it you’ve found out where he is?”
“Yes, his brother called me. He’s trying to see if he can help me get to Jungkook,” you reveal to him with a sigh, and you suddenly feel your chest grow tight as you recall the phone call that you had last night with Jungkook’s brother, how he had told you that a friend of his had informed him that she had met Jungkook and was watching over him for the time being.
The call had left you feeling restless, when your relief of finally getting some news of Jungkook’s whereabouts was trampled by your guilt. Though it didn’t stop you from feeling determined to get to him as fast as you can once you had slept on your raw emotions and after you woke up with a clear mind. You still have no idea how Jungkook would react if he ever finds out what you had done with Namjoon, but you would do everything to earn another chance to win him back, and you would do anything to be with the man that you love. You are even ready to spend your entire life making it up to him, as long as he gives you the chance to.
“I can help you with that. Just say the word,” Namjoon offers you, and it almost makes you laugh at the bitter fact that despite the disappointment that he must have been feeling because of you, Namjoon still wants to give a hand to help. Knowing him, there is no doubt that he is genuine with his offer.
With a wry smile, you shake your head. “You’ve done a lot for me already. But thanks for the offer,” you tell him then, looking straight into his eyes right after as you say to him, “I hope everything will go well with you in the future.”
Sighing in defeat, Namjoon gives you a smile and nods. “And for you too.”
Nodding at him, you give him one last smile before walking around him to make your way to the front door. You try your best not to tense up and to keep your chin up as you walk past him, but then he turns and calls your name gently when you are merely a few steps away from the door, his voice stopping you in your tracks.
“Would it have been possible for us to be together back then without feeling like crap?” he suddenly asks you before you even turn around to see what he is up to. Once you look over your shoulder, Namjoon lifts his shoulder in a simple shrug.
“I’m only asking before that’s what I’m feeling right now. It feels like crap because it made me happy that you were here, that I had a chance to spend time with you, to get to know you better, and for me to—” he stops and swallows hard, taking his time to find his words as he looks at you. “I loved being with you, and I know now that we would’ve been good together. But it makes me feel bad that we would have to sacrifice someone else to do so, if we ever choose to go down that route. But I also can’t help to wonder if things would have been the same as what we had this past week if I hadn’t acted like a coward and we had gotten together the way we were supposed to.”
Turning in your heels to get a better look at him, you can only shake your head. “I honestly have no good answer for that since I don’t know what would have happened if things had gone differently between us,” you regretful tell him then, stopping a moment to ponder the thought before speaking again.
“But, you know what? We could have. Maybe we would have fallen madly in love with each other once we gave each other a chance, or maybe we would have grown apart because we haven’t become the people we were meant to be if we had met then,” you say to him with a smile. “And yes, we would have been perfect for each other to the point that we’d make everyone else around us sick at how perfect we are together. But then again, sometimes things just don’t work that way. Not even if the universe had designed it to be.”
You turn to face him completely. If you are going to be absolutely honest with him, then perhaps it would be best to give him the honest truth, giving both of you the final closure that you have both needed to have for years. “That night, when I saw you in that room, I immediately fell for you so hard that it felt like my heart was trampled into pieces for believing that you wouldn’t be mine.”
Your confession seems to surprise him. Namjoon’s eyes grow wide for a brief moment before he smiles and nods at you. “I guess that’s the answer to everything,” he says, confusing you further when he suddenly seems like he has found his own resolve.
“What do you mean?”
When your gaze meets his once again, you find nothing more but clarity glowing in his eyes. “You loved me. You might even still love me now,” he says, giving you the kind of smile that no longer carries his remorse or the pain of having to let go of a huge part of his life that had been written for him. The only thing he shows you when he looks at you is relief, a sense of contentment and acceptance when he says, “But you are not in love with me.”
You flinch a little at this, and he must have caught it, because he immediately adds before you can speak in return, “And that is okay, because what you have is bigger than what we would have ever had since it is something that you have chosen for yourself, not something that had been chosen for you. You and I both know that you have always deserved to have more than that.”
Keeping your eyes on him, you know without any further explanation that he was talking about the soulmate bond, how he can see that you can have something more, just as long as you reach out for it.
For some reason, his words give you comfort. And then your mind wanders briefly to the past, to the younger version of his who had once held so much confidence and belief that he would be more superior than the soulmate bond and whatever fate was planning for him. “You said so then too, remember?” you question him while picturing the image of him standing in the kitchen area in some random fraternity house that you had never once walked into, drunkenly talking about his big dreams in front of his friends and his pretty girlfriend. “Somewhere between your words of rejection and your defiance against the soulmate bond, you had believed in it too. You had said then, in your own words, that there had to be something else beyond this soulmate system that had been designed for us. Something bigger, stronger, and perhaps it would matter more than what the universe wants us to find.”
There is a glint of something new in his eyes—is it pride? Acknowledgement? Or perhaps an understanding that he shares the same idea—when he nods. “And you have found it,” he says with a calm voice.
“I’m sorry,” you start to apologise, only to have him shaking his head.
“You don’t apologise for love,” he says, once again sighing in defeat, before he lifts his chin up. “I do, apologise, however, for not being worthy enough to hold on to you and to fight for us.”
You smile at him. “You are worthy, Namjoon,” you gently tell him.
And you mean it.
But you have given your heart and soul to another, and you are willing to fight to be with that person to the very end of your long journey.
Mr Choi-PA: Mr. Jeon has departed. We got him on the last flight of the day departing for Seoul
Tasha: Good. Thank you, Mr. Choi.
Tasha: You’re free for the night. I have nowhere else to go so I might just return to the loft once I’m done here
Mr Choi-PA: Yes, Ma’am.
Mr Choi-PA: I will be on standby at 7.30 AM to pick you up tomorrow for the meeting with Mr. Lee
With a smile on her face, Tasha types down a few more words of gratitude to send out to her driver and personal assistant before slipping the cellphone back into her purse. The elevator ride ends just then and the door opens to the rooftop bar. The same bar where she had spent hours drinking and sharing life stories with Jungkook just the night before.
After spending most of the day helping Jungkook plan out his return to Seoul, Tasha had joined her father who had come to supervise the resort while she sent Jungkook away with her driver taking care of business for her as he went back to his friend’s place to pack up his things and say goodbye. She is exhausted, drained from being a martyr as she helped a friend defy the century-old system that had been controlling all human beings in their chances of love and from spending the rest of the day going around the resort to deal with its management issues until late.
She feels so drained that there is nothing she wants to do more than to simply return to her loft and lie down in bed. Perhaps she could catch up with some sleep, taking back all the hours that she had lost from having her impulsive runt with Hyuk yesterday night.
But on her way back, she felt the sudden urge to have a nightcap before bed. Only that the idea of having one back in her loft while she is alone at home had sounded so sad. She felt the need to be in the crowd for some reason, even if it is only for the sake of drowning her thoughts with the loud sounds of people chattering and live music playing on the stage, which had been the reason why she made her way back up here before she would retreat for the night.
The bar counter doesn’t seem as crowded as the night before, and she finds no problem in finding an empty seat where she could settle herself into. She looks around, finding Hyuk being too busy tending the VIP guests on the other side of the floor to notice her, so she turns to call out the new bartender servicing the guests tonight to get her fill.
“Martini. Dry,” she immediately orders her usual.
“Do you want to open a tab tonight, Ms. Lee?”
She quickly shakes her head. “No, I’m just having this one before I go.”
One drink to celebrate yet another love story being written in history.
As she takes slow sips of her drink, savouring it instead of downing it so she could find a moment to relax, Tasha pulls out her phone, scrolling down the messages that she had been receiving all afternoon. A smile comes to her face when she comes across the last message that she had exchanged with Wooyoung, when he had let her know that he would be flying in with his wife next weekend for a short vacation while asking if they could meet. She feels excited as she imagines telling Wooyoung and his wife the story of Jungkook and his quest to find love, as the three of them had grown close after their saga that many years ago.
She suddenly feels the urge to laugh when she thinks about how her relationship with her soulmate had evolved over the years. How they have grown to have a sibling-like relationship since then. Even his wife has become a part of it, all because they still care about each other despite everything that had transpired between them.
She continues scrolling, stopping on the message that she had sent to Jungkook’s brother last night after watching Hyuk drop Jungkook in the guest bedroom back at her loft. It had been a relief that she had taken her time to exchange numbers with some of the family members who had attended the dinner party at Bovine that night a few months back, making it possible for her to send the news to Jungkook’s family before she would make sure to convince him to return.
Placing the phone back in her purse, Tasha tries to enjoy the moment, though she cannot help but let her mind wander off to Jungkook one last time. She is not the kind of person who enjoys meddling in someone else’s business. She had almost ignored the voice in her head that kept telling her to make an exception this time when she saw Jungkook last night at the bar.
Just like what she had told Jungkook this morning, Tasha has always been someone who adores romance. She may have never once truly experienced true love, yet she still loves the concept of love itself, and she still yearns for it just like how everyone else would wait for their own happy endings. That was the reason why she had taken it a stride when Wooyoung confessed to her for having someone that he had already loved before they met and how she agreed to stay with them as they tried to figure things out until the day they officially wed.
It was also the reason why she had felt such a strong pull in her soul to help Jungkook. And now that she had done what was needed, she cannot help but feel pleased with herself for listening to that inner voice of hers, to know that despite whatever the outcome might be, it was truly worth it when she saw the determination in Jungkook’s eyes when he told her that he was ready to return to Seoul to get back to you.
Lifting her glass of drink, she looks closely at the glowing liquid as she murmurs softly to no one in particular, “Isn’t love such a funny thing?”
“I’m sorry?”
A deep voice suddenly speaks to her. She snaps up and looks over to the man sitting beside her, who had, no doubt, heard what she had just said and is now looking at her curiously.
Tasha falls silent for a moment, astounded by the sight of the gorgeous man and the fact that he is looking straight into her eyes. Already well trained to regain her composure, she covers her stumble and shock with an easy laugh. “Oh, it’s nothing. I was just thinking out loud.”
The man laughs with her. “I do that all the time too, mostly when the music is loud like this and you can’t hear your own thoughts,” he says, pointing at the live band playing on the stage across the room. Tasha follows his gaze before turning back to him.
“You’re not enjoying the band?”
“Oh, I’m enjoying the music. It’s just…loud,” he says, chuckling at himself. And Tasha is surprised to find just how comforting his voice is when he does that. “But I honestly don’t mind it. I just got out of a different kind of party and this is the scene that I needed.”
“Another party?” she asks, raising her pretty eyebrows curiously. She finally takes a look closer at him then, scanning his looks—from the folded tuxedo jacket that he has hung on the back of his seat, the folded sleeves of his shirt, the bowtie that has been left hanging loose on his collar—
“Let’s see…Nice tux, sleek hair, must have been a fancy one. And something proper. I’m guessing it was a wedding?”
He raises his eyebrows, looking surprised. Judging from the way he laughs while looking astonished, she knows that she has hit the jackpot even before she confirms it himself. “You’re mighty observant. How did you know?”
Acting coy about it, Tasha lightly shrugs. “I work with people. I manage things to make sure that I can keep people entertained, so I’ve learned to read them to know how I could please them and fulfil their needs,” she says, stopping when she sees him making a curious face at her comment. It takes her a moment to realise that he might have taken it the wrong way.
With a chuckle, she waves her hand at him. “Oh no, darling. Not that kind of work. No offence to the ladies who work in that field, though,” she says, still giggling at his reaction, thinking of how adorable he looks whenever he is confused or lost. “I work in management, and I manage places where people would go to when they need to wind down and have fun. This bar, for example, is just one of them.”
The man nods, exhaling a soft chuckle as he says, “Ah, gotcha,” before he finally introduces himself as Matthew. Matthew Kim, a freelance developer who has been staying at a different resort on the island for the past couple of nights for the wedding he attended. She keeps repeating his name in her head for some reason, even as she gives him hers.
“So, what’s with the drinks?” she asks him curiously once she remembers that the resort did host a simple wedding reception at one of its open courts which isn’t supposed to end yet. “Did they not serve you enough alcohol at the party?” Even if she had called it a night and had vowed to not spare her mind in anything related to work, she cannot help but to start compartmentalising, trying to take notes to see if there is something that her staff might be missing out on.
Tossing his drink down his throat, Matthew laughs and shakes his head in return. “No, no, I’m just here to celebrate. I couldn’t do it properly earlier when I had too many eyes on me,” he says while raising his glass to her. “It was my soulmate’s wedding, after all.”
Her world immediately stops. “Your…soulmate?”
Matthew orders another round of drinks for the two of them while any plan that she has made about ending the night short simply vanishes into the back of her mind when he begins sharing his story. How he met his soulmate during high school reunion—she was an old schoolmate of his who had moved out to the States back in high school, before they ever had the chance to realise they were soulmates—and how their reunion had happened too late—for she had fallen in love with someone else while he had claimed himself married to his job and current lifestyle—and how he had found that there was no need for them to change everything when the bond between them could never change their feelings for each other, since they had only considered each other as friends. Unlike Tasha’s or Jungkook’s case, Matthew simply stepped aside to let his soulmate continue on with her life, without him, and he had chosen to accept her invitat
Y'all ever dream about how hot and bothered it would make you feel to listen to Namjoon roast your existence and then you begging him to let you lick his sweat off his neck and chest ✋
Rm serving me drinks but he trips and spills the drink on me and then breaks the floor and burns down the building and then I give him a huge tip simply for blessing me with his presence
summary: Your crush on Namjoon isn’t even that big. You don’t think he’s the most beautiful man you’ve ever met, your eyes never follow him across the room, and you definitely don’t pay attention to the way his thighs look when he wears those jeans.
rating: M(18+)
tags: sorta unrequited-ish not really though hehe, friends to lovers au, smut but also fluff at the end, dirty talk, namjoon uses baby and sweetheart, oral (m & f receiving), unprotected sex, kinda possessive joon makes an appearance, cum eating, choking but not really, that is probably all
wc: 6.4k
notes: my longest fic to date !! i hope you enjoy :-)
You’re not really sure what you’re doing here, your intentions are fuzzy but you know one thing for sure; Kim Namjoon makes you dizzy, makes your head spin.
These days, you can’t go twenty minutes without thinking, ‘I wonder what Namjoon is doing’ or ‘did Namjoon eat today?’ It’s almost pathetic. Scratch that, it is pathetic. Namjoon was introduced to you at the beginning of your freshman year in university by your first on-campus friend, Hoseok, as his lifelong best friend and confidant. Namjoon made the world’s best first impression on you, he was so smart and so humble and once you heard it, you couldn’t get his laugh to stop replaying in your head. Your small infatuation, if you can call it that, for Namjoon quickly turned into a pretty sizable crush, unable to remember a time where Namjoon wasn’t always on your mind.
That’s how you find yourself here, at that small gathering that Namjoon and Hoseok were throwing in their apartment. Through Hoseok, you made many of your close friends, namely Seokjin, who was a graduate student at the same university. It was Hoseok who invited you, but Seokjin had begged you to come, claiming something about these years being your prime and whatnot. Half convinced and half desperate to see Namjoon, you came but still, you don’t know why you’re here. It’s not like you coming would make any kind of dent in Namjoon’s evening. He’s always been a popular guy on campus, constantly surrounded by people, they seem to flock to him and his blinding, dimpled smile. So when Namjoon walks up to you and Seokjin with an extra drink in his hand, you have no idea how to react.
⤷Genre:romance; fluff; boyfriend!namjoon x girlfriend!reader.
⤷Warnings:themes of insecurity.
Namjoon’s hands were your haven.
And you were simply entranced by them, from the meticulous sculpt of his slim fingers that rivaled the finest art pieces to how they entangled with your own so perfectly.
You loved nothing more than to simply admire them from afar, but once your eyes delved into the perfectly sculpted crevices and nooks of his appendages, little else mattered.
And though they often brought graceless destruction to so much around him, there was no place you felt was safer than when your hands intertwined with his. And when his thumb tenderly rubbed soothing shapes into your palm, there was nothing that could touch you.
So you loved to merely touch them at all times, and every opportunity to hold them within your own was never overlooked; much to your shy boyfriend’s dismay.
Even now, as your own hands delicately played with his lithe fingers, not even the glittering Cosmos could capture your attention.
The image of his deft fingers curling around his fountain pen as he wrote whatever lyrics he conjured was almost far too tempting to merely forget, which resulted in your thievery of his limbs.
It was only once the twinkle of your eyes faded from your lover’s view did he care for your play as you placed your palm against his, seemingly comparing the two.
“What’s wrong, little peach?” His voice spilled from his lips like a soothing tea, waiting to warm and comfort you after a long day.
Your brows furrowed as your fingers hesitantly slipped from his own and a soft sigh pushed past your lips. “Nothing.”
A frown fell upon his dewy lips whilst his broad hands pulled away from your grasp just to wrap around your own that hid from him within your sleeves.
“I know when somethings bothering you, peach. Don’t lie to me.”
Though his demands were delicate to your ears, you winced at his soft whispers, you hated it when his voice gently delved into the soft tone that made you want to open your whole heart to him, and never twist the truth in the slightest.
Namjoon was much like a truth serum, the softest moments with him could easily pour the truth from your lips, without much of an effort from your boyfriend.
“It’s just so stupid, but I’ve been thinking about our hands.” You awkwardly confessed only for a wordless nod and a gentle smile from your boyfriend, that urged you to tell him all that troubled you.
“And how beautiful yours are- just like the rest of you,” you gestured to his strong body, before a quiescent chuckle bubbled from him just to flutter your heart before he beckoned you into his lap, “and mine just don’t feel worthy.”
His strong arms tangled around your waist whilst his nose tenderly traced your cheek, and his fingers you adored so much filled the empty spaces between your own.
“Nothing from you will ever be stupid to me.” He assured you, tapping the tip of your nose with his fingers before he brought your hands between your chests.
“And you should know these are so beautiful.”
He praised ever so softly, as if a breath would shatter the hands his fingertips grazed, before he carefully pressed his lips to your smallest finger and dipped his lips to next, he kissed every imperfection and blemish ten times before repeating his soft kisses ten times more.
Once he drew his velvety lips from the back from your hands, the warmth he placed within your belly burned along with your curiosity.
“Why?”
His head fell back just enough to look into your eyes as his hands rested upon the small of your back and hips, as goosebumps followed the path of his fingers along your spine.
“Because each one of them are yours.” He stated, as if it were an answer so clear, written within classic literature as a fact of life, and you were baffled at just how perfect he was to you.
Your lips parted in the stunned silence he hushed you with, unable to comprehend an answer to his beautiful comforts; but you hadn’t need to say anything at all for him interlace his hands with yours, to emphasize just how immaculately they joined together.
“If they weren’t, they could never fit so perfectly with mine.” He whispered, his eyes never leaving your tangled fingers until his twinkling eyes looked into yours.
“Everything about you is perfect for me, little peach.”
Perhaps it was the sincerity of his eyes locked upon yours, or how his hand that wasn’t wrapped so tightly within your own gently tucked your hair behind your ear, but you were far too wrought with his words to form your own.
So you did all you knew to do, you wordlessly mashed your lips into his own that had simply been pleading with you to kiss them at last.
The hold he had upon your hand tightened as his other hand cupped your cheek with a gentleness you could only expect from Namjoon, as he sweetly returned your shy kisses.
He gave you all of his understanding and love until your fears were irrelevant, all the while your hand remained tightly enclosed within his.
You get into a freak accident and wake up to your body surrounded by seven crying men. Or your unrequited love doesn’t seem so unrequited after all.
Chapter warnings
Minor cussing, Implied self deprecration but very slight
Chapter Rating: T (For Teen Audiences and Up)
Chapter 4: The Fairy Godmother
FLASHBACK
Twiddling your thumbs inconspicuously wasn’t such a good idea after all as your employer’s sharp gaze pierces you right in your jaded soul.
You didn’t mean to sound so cynical and judging from his tells, Eugene wasn’t too happy with you, or at least with how you viewed yourself.
His manicured nails beckon you forward and you gulp, eyes darting to the pile in front of you– Eugene Lee Yang, tarot master and occultist, absolutely hatedit when his readings were disrupted but once you came in through his door looking for all the whole disgusting world like a damned drenched train wreck, eyes bugging out with tears leaking to your puffy cheeks, he pauses, red lips pinched looking for an explanation which you give.
You fidget in your seat by his raglan couch, the sign by the door right below the Yin Yang Quatro’s flashy neon label saying ‘Closed for business’, as you silently try to assess a quick look at the spread laid out on the table.
One death card and two other major arcana.
Whoever the client was, the universe was basically telling him or her to fuck off from the situation and just let things be.
Yikes.
“Baby girl, look at me. ” He gripes and you flinch, staring at his kohl rimmed eyes.
Your boss was a very hot man, and if he wasn’t gay you would have considered your options but he was happily married to a wonderful husband and you were stupidly in love with the seven banes of your existence.
Hence the tears.
“So you’re telling me, that those stupid boys left you to fend for yourself while you were sick in bed?” He hums when you nod your assent meekly, sharp jaw twitching with annoyance as his fingers tap lightly over his silk jacket. “Were they aware?”
You shake your head, “I mean I did send them a text but I was left on read. Maybe they were just busy or something. ”
Eugene snaps his narrowed gaze to you and you gulp. “Huh. Busy. So you were seriously completely alone?”
Another shake of the head. “Some friends took care of me back at my own apartment so…” You trail off unsure if throwing Taemin into the mix with his consent was okay.
Eugene may be fairly strict with the shop rules but when it came to his employees, you in particular, he was an overprotective mama bear and anyone–rather, any man’snamementioned by you was automatically on his watch list.
Your boss pretends to ignore the friend part for a moment, “I see. And you don’t think you deserve any of their attention when you’ve been nothing but a good friend and room mate to them?”
“That’s not–”
Eugene holds a hand up to shush you. “Not yet done speaking, doll.” He sighs. “YN, you know I despise little girls without any backbone. What, you don’t think you’re beautiful enough to be appreciated by a bunch of fuckboys? Bitch, you don’t need them. You don’t need their attitude. You’re a queen. Act like it. ” He sniffs daintily.
You give him a watery giggle and he smirks.
“Besides, if they so much as leave you high and dry one of these days, I will go to your house and castrate them inch by fucking inch.”
Nothing could compare to an angry Yang boss.
END OF FLASHBACK
“Who the fuck are you?” The Beta Tau Sigma member frowns, arms tightening around you as his brothers close in forming a protective ring around the both of you and your physical body peacefully settled on the hospital bed.
The visitor merely raises a perfect, delicate brow, canine teeth bared for a moment only to recede when his irises pierce yours, and as if a magnetic pull traps you, you subconsciously fly–float to the stranger. “ Eugene!” You bleat happily, arms looping around the man’s lean shoulders.
Today he was wearing a baby blue silk coat and long skirt, looking for all the world like a top runway model. His red lips land on your hairline. “Hello, doll.” He coos and everyone, the Min included, stands stock still as the dress you had been wearing shimmers in the light like an ethereal pixie.
“Holy shit. Was that YN?!” Jeongguk, the wide eyed buck that he was furiously looks to the space where you presumably stood and back to your body with mild hysterics until one of his hyung’s, Seokjin was it, lightly knocks him upside the head.
“But hyung she just–”
Seokjin frowns. “Yes we all saw. It’s just…difficult to wrap our heads around the thought that two YNs are here. ”
Jimin, having had dried his tears long ago speaks up with a much clearer voice directed at Eugene. “I’m sorry, but we’ve known YN since we were kids and I’m afraid we haven’t seen you around before…sir?” He hesitates contemplating whether he was using the correct gender noun.
A sharp laugh echoes within the cramped space of the hospital room, and the boys shift awkwardly, some seeming anxious at the tone the other man had taken.
You let go of your boss and reluctantly float back to the others, Yoongi snatching you up to his side, pushing you behind him with a grim stare at the newcomer.
You remember that Eugene isn’t dangerous to you.
But Eugene Lee Yang was dangerous to those he disliked.
And it appears your boys weren’t faring well in that department.
So with a grimace, you stick closer to Yoongi, ready to tug him just in case your boss decides to chuck his expensive shoes against someone’s head in his wrathful wake.
Of course he would be mad.
You couldn’t count the number of times he’d witnessed you cry over these men you were now trying to cover for.
With all the lip chewing you were immersed in, someone addresses the huge elephant rearing its trunk over all of you.
“That question aside, what is happening here–uh, sir?” Hoseok is quick to beat his brothers to the punch, although quite warily.
He wasn’t going to be disrespectful to possibly the only person who could give a fucking explanation to everything. He had a gut feeling that whoever this man was, was someone who could help YN and he wasn’t taking any chances just so YN can recover fast.
He didn’t think he could live another week without being blessed with your lovely smile.
He actually fucking missed you already even if you were right here in spirit.
Eugene quirks a brow but his lips curl up in a genuine smile directed at the resident sunshine, and although he knew that all of them contributed to a majority of YN’s sadness, this Hoseok was the least guilty from what he’s heard so far.
“Jung Hoseok I presume?” Eugene asks and the boy stammers out an affirmative response. “Charmed. Yes, well. Before I answer any of your questions, YN if you would?” He gestures to you and you reach for him despite Yoongi’s quiet protest.
He didn’t like you leaving him for some other man no matter who they are.
Two things happen simultaneously as soon as you touch the Yang boss’s hands.
You feel a heavy weight settle over you, as if you were being pulled down by gravity.
And then your bare foot touches the hard, cold, bleached tiles one after the other and you shiver with a soft squeak.
“HOLY SHIT YN?!”
A chorus of quaky gasps fill the air and then you are swept up into the nearest person’s arms, this time Taehyung’s.
You turn your smooshed cheeks from your holder and shoot a glance at the Yang boss with pure joy. “H-how?”
Eugene smiles at you gently. But then he sighs, the shadows appearing on his face aging him for a bit, a tick in his jaw forms and he rolls his eyes. “Doll, you know I’m magical. But that’s beside the point. ” He sharply claps his hands garnering command at everyone’s undivided scrutiny.
Eugene was like that. Commanding with his presence at every turn.
“Gentlemen, if you could, I would love to be invited to your home as we have much to talk about as regards YN’s current…state. ”
Namjoon, ever the leader steps forward almost in an unconscious manner as if to assert his dominance, “As long as it will help YN, we are willing to do anything. ”
Unexpectedly, the Yang boss doesn’t laugh, doesn’t mock them, only considers them for a moment and then looks at you. “I can see what you meant, darling.” You flush for some reason and they all turn to look at you but your boss clears his throat, and straightens. “We don’t have the luxury to waste any more time. For YN’s sake, I suggest we go now. Because as of this moment, I am your fairy godmother and she’s Cinderella. Once the clock strikes midnight, it’s poof. If you catch my drift.”
Warnings: depressing themes; thrilling themes; mentions of blood/injuries;
Summary:Curious as to how your village came to be and having a thirst for knowledge, you venture into the Forgotten Forest in hopes of discovering the truth of your roots. But it seems you have bitten off more than you can chew.
WC:4.1~k
Note: Thank you for your patience <3 Feels great to back in Asterios and getting their stories written again! Let me know what you think of the new characters~ I’m excited for them to get the story going!
Forget Me Not’s swayed peacefully in the cool breeze, blues and pinks dancing elegantly against the forest floor. Amongst the world of gray the little flowers were the only burst of colors around. The only joy hidden in a sea of cold and colorless life. Trees around them lay in torn pieces, uplifted from the ground and tossed away. Beauty amongst destruction.
“Well that covers the entire West side of the Forest. No sign of any Orcs left.”
Even though the area looked awful, the Forgotten Forest appeared as quiet and eerie as it always had. However Felix could feel it in the air. Something happened here. Not the Orcs destroying large areas of the forest, no… something has changed… it has changed. The Forgotten Forest was no longer the same. He could feel it on his skin, sticking to him in an uncomfortable way. Felix’s face scrunched as he gently rubbed his arms.
“I feel it as well.” Hyunjin was eyeing the area. Even though they deemed the area clear, one could not be too careful. “Something happened here. Besides the Orcs.”
Hyunjin could already see the Council getting a field day out of all the events that happened that night: dozens of Orcs destroying the forest, a Human and a Dragon wandering around Asterios, not to mention that there’s something in the air that neither Fae could place their finger on…
Too much has happened to be a coincidence.
What are the odds of all these things happening in one single night? Over the course of a few days, Hyunjin mightbelieve it to be a mere coincidence. But over the span of a few hours at most? Absolutely not. And judging by the way Felix’s eyes, a usually beautiful opal color that shimmered, were clouded with the same thoughts. Perhaps even the same fears plagued his mind as well.
While inspecting the woods the two had a chance to discuss many things. One of which were the conditions of the Humans. Felix pointed out their lack of resources, the diseases he could feel radiate off of them from time to time. The number of survivors were dwindling. It did lead to an argument, one which had Hyunjin accusing Felix of being lazy and uncaring; why hadn’t he contacted the Council?
“I have. Have been trying for the past century. No one responds.”
Hyunjin had never heard anyone mention Felix’s attempts at contact. No one spoke of any issues going on in the lone and foreign land. He had attended every meeting and heard of all the comings and goings in Asterios. Or so he thought. But why hide these problems? The Humans were sent here to survive and thrive away from the possibility of extinction.
At least… that was what they were told.
Felix sighed and turned back to the Gateway, frowning as the portal began to glow brighter. “We got more company.”
Hyunjin stood next to Felix, both Fae standing prepared, ready to face whatever came through. Felix prayed to the Gods that it wasn’t another round of Orcs. If he had to see another one of their ugly, dimwitted faces again-
“Hyunjin! Felix!”
A tall figure stood before them, hair jet black with burgundy streaks with kind, round eyes that were a cool shade of blue. He wore a dark outfit; black pants tucked into black boots with a burgundy overcoat. A brooch pin of a silver compass was clipped to his cloak, matching the silver rings that shone on his fingers, each one with a different color stone that glowed eerily. The magic that radiated off of him was powerful, a force to be reckoned with. Despite the deadly force that was thrumming beneath his veins his voice was cheery and held a tint of worry.
“Yunho!” Felix grinned at the warlock before them, tackling the male into a hug.
The Fae’s heart was leaping in his chest at seeing his friend after all these centuries. The two worked closely together during the Mortal War, Yunho being one of the best Warlocks to work with the Fae. Felix always held guilt for not informing him, and many other good allies, on their plans of saving the Humans. Yunho would have wanted to know and help them with the cause, but at the time it was safer that only a small number knew of this location.
Hyunjin sighed in relief, walking to the pair. “Thank the Gods, I was worried we’d have another Orc attack- Wait. How are you here?” He froze midstep, staring at him. Yunho never knew of the Humans and their survival-
“Thank the Gods you two are alright,” Yunho sighed, patting Felix’s back, giving Hyunjin a soft smile. “The Council informed me, wanted someone with more knowledge on various types of magic to come out here. You made all of us worried.”
Hyunjin nodded his head, running a hand through his jet black hair. “I should have contacted the Council this morning-”
“More like two days ago, no one knew what happened to you or Felix.” Yunho’s voice was clipped and held worry as he eyed the two. Nothing seemed amiss, except that they looked a little tired. “They were worried sick.”
There was a beat of silence.
“I think I misheard you, Yunho. Did you ask for us to inform you of last night’s events before they even happened?” The tone used was accusing, the male on edge as he stepped closer to the Warlock. “Are you stating that you knew this would happen?”
The sun was still out, the last few rays sweeping against the trees, the Human and Dragon having left hours earlier.
“Last night? Hyunjin, you left nearly three days ago.” He looked just as confused as he felt, eyeing the two Fae. “It’s been going on three days since anyone last heard from you. Since you entered the Gateway,”
The two Fae looked at one another, confusion written on each of their faces. Felix’s mind was trying to figure out how one of them lost days of time…
“It’s changed. The magic.” He breathed, looking at Hyunjin. “What we felt, the shift that something wasn’t right. Our magic that created this place has been disturbed.“
“And in doing so it disturbed time itself?” Hyunjin frowned. “Is this even possible?”
“Unfortunately we do not have a concrete answer.” Yunho shifted his feet, staring at the trees with a similar scrunched up face that Felix wore earlier. He felt it too. The magic that clung to him left him uncomfortable. “But I feel it as well, the magic that was used here isn’t of Fae. To be honest… I’ve never felt this type of magic before.”
Yunho had been around for centuries, having even spent time in the Mortal War when he was a young Warlock. He’s been in contact with all the magic that Asterios held to offer. But this? This magic was different. He could sense it. There was something dark within it, but the core was…
“Ancient.” Yunho whispered. “This magic is as old as Asterios itself. I can feel it whisper against me now…” He cocked his head. “But who in Asterios has this type of magic?” Species were listed in his mind, but none held the ability to possess such strong magic.
At least, last time he checked they couldn’t.
“Orcs can’t learn magic, they don’t have the mentality to do such things.” Felix mused. “Everything was fine until last night… Something was with them. Something that was hidden from us as we were worried about those monsters and the Humans.”
“Speaking of, did the Humans see anything?”
It had been hundreds of years since Yunho said the word ‘Human’. Not since the Mortal War, not since they were all declared extinct by the Elven King Juro. He was still in a bit of denial about the whole idea of an entire species being hidden away for this long. Right under their noses. A conversation that happened mere hours earlier…
“I trust you, Yunho. This is a secret that has been held by this Council for the past three hundred years. No one, not even our own people, know of this. We are entrusting you to help us.”
The Warlock had never seen Ji-Yong so stressed. Not since the war at least. Yunho’s skin crawled at the desperate look on his face. A leader as strong and wise as Ji-Yong, as old and skilled, to be desperate to seek out a younger Warlock’s help was a desperate cry indeed. Yunho was one of the top Warlock’s in Asterios, he was no Soojin of course, but he was heavily trusted by his allies here. Especially Ji-Yong.
“My friend, you look ill. What seems to be troubling?” He tried to lighten the Fae with a kind smile and eyes, a small attempt to ease his mind.
No one could have prepared Yunho for this information.
“No, well…” The troubled look between the two only raised his blood pressure. “There were three Humans and a Dragon-”
“Three Humans? And a Dragon?” He looked between the two. “Ji-Yong only spoke of Humans being here? Are you also hiding Dragons as well? What next, you have a Kitsune-”
“Yunho, calm down!” Felix gripped the Warlocks shoulders. “Just Humans here. The Orcs had the Dragon. I think he traveled with them, well, more like was forced to…” He sighed. “It’s a mess. We need to tell the Council all what happened and about the time jump. Who knows how long you’ve been here now…”
Yunho nodded his head. “Agreed. One of you go, speak with Ji-yong about what happened here.”
“I’ll go,” Hyunjin walked towards the Gateway. “If Felix goes they’ll be much talked amongst the people. They’ll wonder where he’s been this entire time.”
“Excellent, be quick and report back. Let us know how much time has passed.” Yunho gave the Fae a small smile. “I’ll remain here to monitor the magic and try to decipher where this power originated, and make sure nothing else passes through with ease.”
Felix knew it was best he remained there. He knew these woods better than most; he’d know if something were to even shift in the slightest. “Don’t forget our little conversation from earlier… May the Gods grant you speed, Hyunjin.”
“And you, strength.”
- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -
More snow had fallen. The roads were covered in a blanket of cold white, Asterians bundling themselves in layers of clothing and thick boats to protect against the icy element. The night before held an icy wind that bit into your cheeks, dusting them in soft shades of pinks and reds. The brutal winds left your nose runny, face with a small burn, and body feeling weak and agitate.
But you had to keeping moving, the fear of stopping plaguing your mind.
Your hand shook ever so slightly, fingers dancing across the hard scales as Soojin placed more ointment on him.
“He won’t wake.” Your voice shook, eyes darting between the Dragon and Sorceress. Anxiety pranced through your veins like deer in the meadow; jumping and soaring quickly throughout your body.
The bag was weightless across your shoulders, feet moving swiftly and quickly across the old beaten path. Clothes swaying gently in the cool breeze, a small warning to move faster and get to your location faster.
“Draengon is the land of Dragons, where you must go next. This map is magic infused; it will lead and guide you.” Soojin shoved more and more items in the bag. Another magical item; no matter how much you toss in the cloth, it’ll never gain any weight. It’ll remain lightweight and easy to hold. With gentle hands she lifted the sleeping Dragon carefully. “The side pocket inside is where Namjoon will rest.”
Your fingers reached into the bag, gently touching the small head that nestled deep in the pocket. Hidden and safe. His body no longer holds the same intense heat you were accustomed to, adding on to your worry and only making your feet move faster. The snow crunched softly beneath every step.
“It’ll take a few days, but I know you can do it.” Soojin placed the bag over your head, Salem giving off a soft ‘meow’ in agreement. “Follow the map and what you’ve learned, Y/n, and you will save him.”
It was late when you left A Couldron’s Kiss, the sun was setting in the sky as you quickly left Silverwynn. Hood up, head down, steps fast. You didn’t dare stop, didn’t dare rest. There was no time and you wouldn’t be able to sleep a wink with Namjoon being in this grave situation. He needed the magic of his home to rest in, Soojin had explained that every species healed best when they were in their own homeland. The same magic that ran through Namjoon’s veins ran through Draengon.
“He’s been away from his home for far too long. Decades if I’m not mistaken. Pair that and being beaten this bad…” She locked eyes with you, gold eyes reminding you of liquid gold. “He needs the magic of his own kind. My magic can only do so much. He needs his home to fully heal and get better.”
You vowed to yourself that no matter what Namjoon would be home and safe. No matter the cost. You calculated that three days of traveling could easily turn into just over a day if you moved at a steady pace nonstop. When the late afternoon turned to evening you kept moving, kept traveling. Your feet might drag but you’ll get there sooner. And the little Dragon you grew fond of would be healed.
“Where in Draengon do I go? Where do I take Namjoon?” You had just finished dressing in the new outfit from Soojin, she kept the same color scheme of green’s and creams. The clothes were sturdy and laced with a bit of magic from Soojin- shielding your scent and being from others so no one could detect you were Human. Instead they’d assume you were a meek Witch, one with hardly any power. A perfect way to hide in plain sight.
“That’s the beauty of magic from home my dear. Once you cross the border, he’ll start to get better. It’s amazing how drastic the change will happen too. Just keep moving my dear.”
And so you kept moving, kept your head and moved forward. Fingers gripping the bag tightly as if someone would try to snatch the satchel from you. It was odd, having spent a few days with the small creature you found yourself growing rather protective of it. At time you wondered what would happen once you finished this mission…
‘Where will I go once I set you free?’ The snowy woods were quiet as your worries and thoughts grew louder and louder as more time passed. You figured you’d head back home…
Home…
Associating Arcrine with that word made your heart squeeze painfully. The village was never home…
Where was home?
The sun was slowly rising higher in the sky, casting golden orange rays across the frozen ground. Ice and snow turned into sparkling diamonds in the sun’s kiss, your cheeks absorbing the small amount of warmth it offered. The burn from last night still holding it’s sting on your face. The forest was silent, perfect for traveling though nerve wracking. You could easily see yourself making it no time, a small glimmer of hope rising your chest-
“Such a small, fragile girl shouldn’t be traveling alone…”
A voice, raspy and deep, spoke from right behind you. A shiver slithered down your spine as your steps faltered, cloak swaying to a stop as you stared at the ground. Your fingers screamed as you gripped the bag. Slowly you turned, head rising to meet the strangers gaze-
Your heart sank.
Before you stood an Orc, just like the ones that destroyed that Forgotten Forest a few days prior. A wave of panic washed over you as the creature gave you a smile full of rotten teeth.
“Give me the bag and come with me peacefully.”
No, Namjoon-
“Or I’ll use your bones as toothpicks.” The Creature, a male you assumed, stepped closer. “Your choice, little Human.”
- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -
“So this is the last of the Human race…”
Yunho’s voice was soft and in awe, his green eyes watching the little village wander about. Before them was the village of Arcrine, a place as gray and dreary as the forest that surrounded them. Felix and Yunho remained hidden in the trees, silently watching the mortal beings go about their day. To be honest he thought there would be a large amount of Humans thriving; hundreds, if not, thousands. However Felix informed him of the struggles they had faced: famine, disease, lack of resources, and now the magic in the forest going haywire…
It’s no wonder that species before him were so different from the one he had known.
The difference between the Humans he knew and the Humans he saw before him were startling. The Humans in Asterios were always loving and warm; smiles graced their features and they would always lend a hand to those in need. No matter their background. Their auras radiated with warmth and brightness. It had always amazed Yunho that a species with the shortest lifespan in Asterios could show the most amount of love he’s ever seen.
“We know our days are severely numbered Yunho. That’s why we smile and live each day as if it’s our last!”
He could hear his old friend’s voice in his head. Ruben was always the life of the party, always making those around him laugh. And his laugh, a deep and boisterous noise that caused everyone around to laugh with him.
These couldn’t be the same people.
The Human’s he was watching were staggered, heads down. There was no life in their faces, instead he saw nothing but pale lonely faces. Tired. Worn. It looked as though this land had beaten everything out of them.
But could anyone blame them?
Their ancestors were hunted like animals, slaughtered… They lost their homeland. They lost their heritage. Nothing but a hole remained in their past. Yunho could feel that hole ache for each of them, the soft wondering of if there was more to life than the same routine each day…
“You should have told us.” Yunho whispered. There was a bitter tone to his voice as he watched this Arcrine, Felix informed him of the name the earlier Humans chosen. “We would have helped.”
“So more people could know about them? So they could be hunted once more? No. This was the best choice.” Felix snipped back, not bothering holding back his tone.
“You would rather let them live like animals than try to give them life.” A dry laugh parted Yunho’s lips as he turned to face Felix. “They’re dying, Felix. Look at them. They barely have food, we have to-”
“Yunho.”
He’s never heard Felix sound so tired, so broken, so old before. He had to stare at his friend to ensure it was really him Yunho was talking to.
“When they see us, they will try to kill us. We are creatures to them, monsters if you will. There are generations of differences between them and the Humans we knew.” He leaned against a tree, watching a group farm in the distance. “I’ve sent several messages to the Council. No one ever listens to me when I reach out… It’s as though they stopped caring.”
“Why didn’t you send me a message through the Gateway? Hyunjin?”
“The Gateway only works one way. It sends directly the ones in charge, the Council. I can’t leave this place without fearing the Human’s safety. And whenever I send them a message I get silence.”
“You think… in the Council?”
“That there’s a mole.” Felix nodded his head. “I told Hyunjin this as well.”
“That’s the conversation you spoke of before he left. You warned him.”
“Precisely, while he’s there he will uncover as much as possible as quickly as possible.” Turning his gaze back to the Humans he sighed. “I’m praying that this is the start of something good. Something better for them.”
Yunho watched the village as well. He could only nod, not daring voice his opinions on the matter.
Doubt was the last thing they needed.
- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -
He knew.
He knew and he was going to kill you. Kill Namjoon-
“No.” Your voice rang out before you could think. There was no fear in your words, no hint at the panic that beat down on your lungs. Your words sounded icy, a firm answer to the creature before you. It surprised you, but something deep within you was ready to fight.
For Namjoon.
He scoffed and barked out a laugh. “No? You think you have a choice here-?” A scowl appeared on his face, a thick finger pointing right at you. “Some weakling like you stands no chance against me-”
“How about me then?”
A new voice, one that sounded soft and smooth compared to the Orcs. The two of you jumped a little, the newcomer having appeared out of nowhere to your left. Despite the small frame and average height, the woman stood tall and held a power to her that made even the Orc flinch. Her hair was a deep brown with eyes to match, eyes that seemed sweet were glazed with a coolness that caused a chill in your bones. She nearly blended in with the snow around you; whites and creams were what her outfit consisted of. The only color on her wardrobe was a black brooch pin, the shape reminding you of a jagged heart. Inside was a red stone that was steadily beating like an actual heartbeat.
Her ears came to a sharp point, but you couldn’t tell: was she Fae or Elf?
“The biggest differences between the two species: An Elves ear comes to a harsh point compared to their cousin, Fae, and an Elf cannot lie. They can never lie.”
You tried to remember what Felix and Hyunjins ears looked like but your mind went blank. You never paid much attention to their ears. They did look similar to this female’s ears… Was there a difference between the male and female Fae? You were never taught if there were. Soojin warned you to hide against all the species, especially Elves. The history of Asterios was enough evidence for you to try to stay away.
So if she was an Elf, you needed to leave. Now.
But your feet would not move. You were watching the scene before you with eyes wide, darting with each movement one of the creatures made.
“What’s wrong? Can’t go against a little girl like me?” Her voice held a mocking tone that made the creature growl.
In a moment the Orc took after the female, large arm raised to swipe at her in a bone crushing blow-
Crack!
Your mouth fell open as the creature was suddenly turned to stone. Cracks began to form throughout its form and in seconds it fell apart.
She didn’t even raise a hand at the Orc. Not a single eye was batted as she stepped over the now stoned being. No, her gaze was now fixed on you. Except the coolness was gone and in its place was curiosity.
“Did it hurt you?”
You blinked a couple of times, waiting to see if she would turn you into stone as well. “No… I’m fine.” You swallowed and eyed her up and down. She wore civilian clothing with a cloak much like yours.
'Can I trust you?’
“Orcs don’t usually travel around these parts,” She glanced around the woods. “It’s quite rare to see them here. Was there something he wanted from you?”
'Lie. Lie. Lie.’ “Just money I think.” ’Do better-’ “I didn’t even hear him approach me. Let alone you…”
Changing the subject back to being on her, you studied her, waiting for any indication of any fowl planning. “I apologize. I smelt his scent and wanted to investigate. Many women travel these roads alone, and, well, you know the rest.” She gave you a weak smile and stepped closer. “My name is Siyeon.”
“Call me Seeker,” You answered, offering a polite smile. Names held power, that much you were warned about. “It was a pleasure meeting you…” You turned on your heel to leave.
“W-wait!” Siyeon jumped forward, stepping next to you. “Let me travel with you!”
“I-what?” You frowned, head cocked. “Why?”
“You have weak magic,” She gave you a sad smile. “I fear what else might come for you. I’m also heading down this path. Actually I’m heading to the mountains in the South- Hope’s Height to be exact!”
Soojin spoke briefly of the location, Thunderbird territory. “Oh? Business with the Thunderbirds?”
Siyeon giggled. “Kind of, I’m meeting my sister there for a wedding. What about you? Where are you heading?”
One small truth. “I’m heading to Dreangon, to see the tropical lands and waterfalls.”
“Oh! That sounds wonderful!” Her smile seemed genuine, teeth as dazzling as the snow that surrounded you. “What do you say? Travel with me?”
'No. No. Not with him in my bag. Not while I’m trying to save Namjoon.’
The thought of the dragon resting in your bag only made your heart race even more. You needed to get going. Siyeon was extra baggage, yes, bit she was strong. She might be of help…
’…No.’
Something in your heart whispered weakly. Deep down there was a pull, as if a chain was tugging against your heart. It was so weak…
You had two options- deny the request, look suspicious, and see her down the same path eventually. And knowing your luck you’d run into her quite often.
Or…
'No.’
The whisper in your heart was stern, weak, and pleading. The chain was tightening, pulling desperately.
She could tag along, assist you until you reach Draengon. It was only one more day of traveling and she could help if you ran into more trouble…
'No. Please-’
“Yeah, let’s go.” You mimicked her smile. You ignored your heart, shaking your head a bit with a small laugh. “Fair warning, I’m in a bit of a rush.
You were sleep deprived. It was making your anxiety rise for no reason; if she wanted to harm you she would have done so the same time she killed the Orc. Judging by that move she was powerful, powerful enough to snap you with the snap of her fingers.
Travel with the Asterian, allow her to escort you safely to Dreangon as quickly as possible. No sleeping. No stopping.
Keep moving. It’ll be okay.
Simple.
“Good! I’m in a rush as well, I’m always late to these things!” Linking your arm with hers she grinned. “Let’s go!”
She gently pulled you further down the road, her voice feather light and warm as she spoke. There was even a skip in her step as she giggled about something she said. You smiled back, ignoring the chain that was still tightening around your heart. You didn’t even hear the small words whispered from somewhere within you.
Warnings: depressing themes; thrilling themes; mentions of death;
Summary: Curious as to how your village came to be and having a thirst for knowledge, you venture into the Forgotten Forest in hopes of discovering the truth of your roots. But it seems you have bitten off more than you can chew.
WC: 4.5k
Note: I love a good foreshadow :)
Tag List: Open- DM me if you want to be added! If I forgot you/your @ isn’t working, please let me know so I can try to fix it <3
A chill krept down your spine the moment you stepped foot into the living space. It was designed similarly to the room you had been staying in with the exception of a square table with cushions on the floor. Sliding doors were opened and showed the snowy landscape; a scene of the sun gently rising up and brushing against mountains in the distance. Even with the doors open the room was perfectly warm and cozy. The chill came from the scene set before you. Felix and Soojin sat side by side. The Sorceress was watching you gently, something hidden in those gold eyes that put you on edge. The Fae was staring at his lap, all the humor from moments ago disappeared entirely, causing a knot to form in your stomach.
“Y/n, Namjoon,” Soojin smiled and gestured across from them. “Have a seat.”
It all felt so familiar despite having never been in this room before; a memory was tugging on your brain as you watched Soojin and Felix for a moment. It wasn’t until you were fully seated that Felix looked up and suddenly you knew why this felt familiar. His eyes were the same eyes your mother held that day; eyes that were full of so many negative emotions, so much darkness…
The same eyes your mother had when she told you your father died.
Heart rate picking up you met his gaze head on as your brain slowly caught up. Felix shouldn’t be there with you. He made a promise before you left. But your brain prayed that Hyunjin decided to stay in the Forgotten Forest to allow Felix to leave. You pushed away the questions your brain was coming up with and stared at the Fae, hoping that you were misunderstanding his presence.
“This meeting will be the first of many,” Soojin was the one to speak up. “We will stay in contact with one another throughout these strange and dark times. Let’s begin with simple answers we have found.” She forced a smile at you and Namjoon.
‘So there’s more complications…’ Your mind was screaming as you forced a smile of your own.
“As you know, you are now in Draengon. This home was abandoned for centuries- we had to take shelter here while you recovered. While you were resting we searched for more answers to what was going on and found some news along the way. Namjoon and I discussed this already,” There was a proud gleam in her eye as she looked at the Dragon.
Namjoon’s back straightened as his eyes widened. “So… it’s true then?”
“Namjoon was the first Dragon to appear in Draengon in centuries.” Soojin was now explaining this to you. “With him being the only one present it means the land is technically his. All of Draengon, the magic within, is his to have. As well as his mates.”
His hand grabbed yours, green eyes meeting yours as he smiled at you. “We’re now the rulers of Draengon… the magic is ours.”
That was a simple solution? What was so simple about it? Your heart was already beating fast from Feix’s reactions. This might give you a heart attack for sure… “Joonie, that’s fantastic!” You meant it too, every word. The smile on your face was one full of many emotions. And you were thankful to have a mate that understood what you were feeling.
Moving your hand up to his lips, he gently kissed the back of your hand, calming your heartbeat. “It’ll make protecting you a bit easier.” He teased lightly, grinning a bit. He knew it was helping ease you, having felt the stress through the bond pulse wildly. Just as you, he was wary of what Felix had to say.
Speaking of…
The Fae cleared his throat, eyes focused on you. There was a bit of regret in his eyes. He didn’t want to ruin this moment for you. But he had no choice. You needed to know everything. With the way the world was playing out before his eyes he didn’t know if there would be another chance. Especially after what happened on that mountain top with Siyeon…
“Y/n, I have answers to many of your questions.” Felix sat up straight, placing his elbows on the table and hands clasped close to his face. He was nervous. You felt your arms lock up as you watched him. Your whole body felt stiff as you were bracing yourself both physically and mentally for what he would say. “You originally came to me to figure out why the Fog was there, why your village even existed, and how these things were happening.” Felix dove straight into detail about how your village was created. No detail left out.
A village of Humans that was originally created to help ensure their survival. A magical fog created to help keep the Humans away from the Gateway due to the amount of enemies that lay beyond the otherside. The people deemed insane for venturing into the woods and talking in tongues were innocent souls; they were not able to handle the magic that seeped into their minds and souls. They were speaking Asterian. The ‘monsters’ you heard them speak of were memories held inside the fog- memories of the Mortal War.
“The war was still fresh in our minds…” Felix whispered, relaying how they created the fog that day. “Perhaps our emotions created a tie to the fog through magic. It’s hard to tell…”
Felix was always there. Watching from afar with each new generation. He knew about the troubles and would send word to help. However he has recently discovered that every message was intersected and dismissed. No one knew of the problems they were facing. The night the Orcs came was when he finally saw a friend of his after centuries. It was then that they also realized that the time between Arkrine and Asterios were different. The Magic bending time itself with no rhyme or reason. A day in Arkrine could be a week in Asterios. Vice Versa.
“There’s a small group of us that now know of the traitor. These are people that we trust and we hope to find the one behind all this.” Felix swallowed, eyes burning into the table. His fist clenched and his voice, once steady, shook as he continued. “They will pay for what has happened.”
There was silence as his words hung around everyone. You shifted in your seat, heart leaping into your throat as you watched him. Deep down you knew this went further than the problems your village was facing. Something happened. You could feel it with every word he spoke. And when you made eye contact with him, eyes the color of opal jewels meeting yours, you felt yourself shake as his eyes mist over. The Fae you had first met and gotten to know, one full of laughter and mischievous, was replaced with a broken soul that look so ashamed.
“I failed Y/n.” He whispered the words, ears having to strain to hear him properly. “We waited until time was aligned once again before we left. It was only a few hours in Asterios but when I got back… a month was gone.” Your breath hitched. Leaning forward you gently took one of Felix’s hands. He shook his head, the tears finally spilling. “I failed my duty… Arkrine is no more.”
You blinked once.
Twice.
“No more?”
The words danced inside your mind but made no connection. How can a place no longer exist? It had been there for a few hundred years. Where did it go? As if reading your thoughts Felix shook his head. “It’s gone, Y/n… burned to ash.”
Burned to ash. ”Burned…?” You dropped Felix’s hand as you stared at him.
“When we arrived there was nothing but ash. And blood in the snow.” His hand gripped the table now. “I looked, we looked everywhere. The footsteps were covered by snow. Not even a trace of magic that could be tracked. Yunho and Hyunjin was-”
His voice sounded muffled with the ringing in your ears. Slowly the words sunk in and you began to understand what had happened. Felix was still talking, guilt written on his face. Soojin was rubbing her old friends back as she watched you, face full of mourning. They were your friends and were speaking to you, perhaps there were words of comfort. You wouldn’t know. All you could do was stare with your mouth slightly opened as your lungs burned-
‘Breathe.’
A deep voice. A steady voice. Only you could hear the whispered words. You took a deep breath in and slowly exhaled as something warm brushed against your side. You tore your eyes away and looked at Namjoon. His eyes were on yours, watching you carefully, reading and feeling every emotion that radiated off of you.
“Wait… you looked everywhere and didn find anything?” Soojin frowned. “Not a single thing?”
“Nothing.” His voice was thick with emotions. “It was all gone-”
“Then they survived.”
Everyone stopped and looked at the Sorceress with confusion. She stared back at each of you, eyebrow raised. “It’s basic knowledge- fire cannot burn bone. Even fire conjured from magic isn’t strong enough to burn bone.”
A small blossom of hope began to grow within you. “So… because Arkrine was empty…”
“I believe they were taken.” Her gaze went to yours. “If they were, then whoever took the Humans needs them alive.”
“Alive for what?”
“That’s the question, isn’t it?” She leaned forward and grinned. “We have more investigating to do.”
The gleam in her eyes only made the hope within grow. If they were alive. If Jongho was alive… you had to know.
- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -
Captivating. Mesmerizing. There were many words that could describe each movement. Small and delicate hands moved up in the air. Thin arms formed a perfect bow as little feet turned and turned on the tip of the toes. The sparkling and white dress flared out from the waist, icy winds pulling the fabric in different directions. And the wings-a soft and pale blue, moved with each breath and held a silver sparkle. Like the freshly fallen snow. Each movement was precise and sharp. Each step held intent and meaning; for every flick of the wrist more snow appeared. Every twirl brought about an icier wind. A being that could bring so much power was right before you.
In the palm of your hands.
“Pixies adore attention– it seems like they have a strong liking for you.”
Hot breath ghosted the shell of your ear and you welcomed it; the cold was getting to you and leaving a small chill in your bones. “They move so beautifully, it’s hard to look away.”
Your compliment didn’t go unnoticed as the Pixie in your palm stopped and took a small bow. Standing a mere few inches, the tiny being was all smiles as they watched you for a moment before flying off. You have come to learn that in Asterios it is the Pixies who ultimately dictate the weather along with many things that deal with nature. It was the first time you had seen them, however it’s common for the little beings to stay away. They are busy creating seasons throughout the land. It amazed you that something so small could create things so large. The two of you stood and watched the little being rejoin they’re group before taking off to spread winter elsewhere. Wherever they deemed fit.
“Felix and Soojin are about ready to head out.” Namjoon looked back at the simple home the two of you had been staying in. “Once they leave we’ll make the journey to higher ground.”
The day prior was filled with planning; where each would go, what their goals were, and so much more. Felix would be heading to Serentia where his group of trusted friends dwelled. There they will begin to sniff out the traitor and any accomplice they have. He already had a small list, being at the top was a Fae that missed the meeting but used to be heavily involved with the Council: Jimin. It has been said that the Fae had been skipping out on meetings and absent for quite a while.
Soojin will head back to Silverwynn. The large village see’s beings from all across Asterios; she’ll be able to hear any news quickly from there. The location was perfect due to its distance from all other species. The Sorceress believes that multiple races could be involved in the incident. Plus it’ll look suspicious if she were traveling throughout Asterios with a Fae and a Dragon.
Which left you and Namjoon. A list of things that needed to be done and at the top was finding a journal. Queen Flora, the last Human Queen, was known to record everything daily. Namjoon’s father being a strategist and his mother a commander, the pages might have some answers and clues as to how the war started. If you could learn how this began then you might have insight on how it could end. How to stop all this.
“Time to go back,” Soojin gave you both a sad smile. “Remember if you need anything, I’ll be there in a heartbeat.” Giving Namjoon a grin, she added. “As long as the new leader lets me in.”
“You’ll always have a spot here in Draengon.” Namjoon smiled at the Sorceress. The two shared a quick hug.
“Andyou,” She smiled and handed you a bag. “Take care of yourself. Both of you. Packed some goodies for you.” The wink made you raise an eyebrow but she quickly hugged you as well. Taking a few steps she nodded to Namjoon. “Alright Dragon. Send me home.”
Namjoon chuckled and waved his hand. You watched in awe as a small gateway appeared; a soft green in color and glowing virbantly. On the other side you could see her shop, A Cauldron’s Kiss, looking as peaceful and warm as it was on the night you first entered. A bit of nostalgia swam through you as you watched her walk back into her shop.
“Oh!” You jumped as something brushed against your leg. Salem blinked up at you for a moment, letting out a low purr before following his Sorceress into the Gateway. “Bye Salem!”
It disappeared in seconds.
“Perks of being the new ruler of Draengon,” Namjoon answered your unspoken question. “Much more power. More magic to use on creating things such as quick Gateways.”
“Yeah, lucky you.” Felix sighed, walking to stand across the two of you. “Goes from being a gecko to being a practical king.”
You chuckled and stepped up to Felix. “Thank you Felix. For helping me all those years ago and again now.” You gave him a hug, hands patting his back softly. “And for doing your best. You really did try…”
You knew he still held guilt for Arkrine. Still carried the weight of all that happened and blamed himself for it all. You could see how he would blame himself, but you never held an ounce of anger towards him. Just pity on the Fae that was left alone for centuries.
He froze for a second before his arms wrapped around you. “Of course, Y/n.” His voice was hushed as the memory from all those years ago came through; a little girl lost in the woods surrounded by swirling fog. He could hear your soft cries echoing against the tree’s even now. His arms tightened as the memory came and went. You both drop your arms, his eyes now on Namjoon.
Felix stood before the Dragon, back straight. “Take care of my little Kelpie.” His tone was almost fatherly, nearly making you bark out a laugh. Despite your history with the Fae, you two barely spoke to one another. However it was comical that in a way he did watch you grow up.
“I’ll always take care of my mate.” Namjoon’s voice was tight, eyes on the Fae. The two watched each other before Felix grinned up at him. Namjoon frowned, opening his mouth to ask what he was smiling about but Felix beat him to it.
“You like me.”
“I tolerate you. For Y/n.”
“Uh huh. Sure.” He nearly sang before stepping back. “Now please take me home. I have a mission to do, you know.”
You giggled while Namjoon shook his head and created a Gateway. “Now get out of here.”
Felix did a sarcastic bow and quickly leapt into the Gateway. You saw beautiful flowers of many colors, and marble before it disappeared. A moment of silence as the wind whistled through the trees. It was peaceful. But you two had work to do and another journey to make.
“Alright,” You turned to Namjoon. “Are you going to create a Gateway for us now?”
The Dragon looked down at you and grinned. “And waste having some fun? No way.”
“Fun?” You cocked your head, watching as he took a few steps back. “What do you mean? Are… Are we going to walk?” The idea of walking up any more mountains immediately left you feeling drained and weak. You were fully recovered from your last climb, which almost killed you, but the thought of more walking? You wanted to cry.
His laugh danced across the trees as he continued to step back. Your eyes were locked on his as his grin turned into a smirk. You wondered what he was thinking when his fingers undid his pants-
“Whatare you doing?!” You quickly spun around, face reddening as you heard the material drop to the ground. It didn’t help that he was laughing at your reaction. “Namjoon!”
“Y/n, you’re my mate. You’re allowed to watch, you know.” The tease was heavy in his voice as well as something else. He already had a deep voice, but somehow it was deeper. Indicating more. Much more. Because he wanted you to watch.
For one second you wondered what he would look like. What was hidden behind the fabrics-
‘Turn around and see.’
The words were growled out, you could hear his chest rumbling from behind you. The physical reaction from you was almost too much; you found yourself stiffen as your body began to heat up. Something inside yearned to turn around, to look, to maybe even touch-
You remained frozen, eyes on the ground as your cheeks were aflamed. It only got worse as he chuckled and you could hear more clothes being discarded. “You never told me what you were doing.” There was a slight pout in your voice, knowing that he was easily toying with you as well as offering. Tempting.
“With my people it’s custom for mates to fly together,” The rustling of clothes was gone however you heard him move further back. “The first flight is always the most treasured.”
You could hear it in his tone; he wanted to do this badly. The words were spoken softly, a caress to your ears, and with a hint of vulnerability. It touched your heart to know that he wanted to include you in everything his people did; species be damned.
“I thought we already had our first flight,” You mused aloud, hoping it wouldn’t bring back any bad memories.
“Doesn’t count when you’re unconscious and bleeding out, Y/n.” There was humor and a hint of sadness in his words. The memory was still fresh in his mind. “I’d like our first flight to be, well, the exact opposite.”
You chuckled and nodded. “Okay, fair enough.” There was a moment of silence, not even his footsteps could be heard. Then a wave of heat brushed against your back. The humidity rose for a moment and you wondered if he was okay when you heard a low growl.
Turning you stumbled back and away, looking up at Namjoon in his Dragon form. The tiny Dragon you used to carry around was long gone. Before you stood a mighty beast, one that at first glance you couldn’t recognize. The instinct to back away took over and you stumbled back with wide eyes and breath caught in your throat. The Dragon would have been terrifying if it weren’t for the sad whine it let out, watching you fall.
Namjoon was now over two hundred feet long. The size of him was hard to comprehend, having been used to carrying him around in your bag. As you slowly stood up he approached, each step careful, knowing the power he had in his claws. His head lowered down to meet your face, green eyes watching you carefully. Any sign of fear and he’d transform back without hesitation. The relief he had when you slowly smiled, reaching a hand out.
His scales were much larger, making the one in your pocket look like a pebble. But they were the same color- the dark green that almost appeared black until the sun hit it. Fingers brushed against his head, smiling as he purred under your touch. “Still a handsome Dragon I see.”
Lowering himself completely on the ground, he looked at you expectant and with excitement. The long, spiked tail behind him slapped against the ground. Like a dog. You laughed and carefully walked around him, reaching his side. There was a spot where the spikes didn’t exist, in the middle of his back. You began to carefully climb up, minding the scales and anything that could harm him. Sitting as securely as you could, you patted his side. You were ready. Excited with a small hint of nervousness.
One would think he would carefully take to the sky; going slow. But Namjoon was just as excited as you were. In the blink of an eye he was jumping off the side of the mountain the home was located on. You were free falling.
The scream was lodged in your throat as your body felt weightless- body lifting an inch off of Namjoon as your hands gripped the spikes that lined the spine in front of you. But there was no fear as you watched the two of you free fall for a moment, being surrounded by early morning fog and mist. Perhaps it was the bond that assured you that nothing bad was going to happen. Maybe it was just Namjoon, knowing he would never put you in harm’s way. Regardless of which, you found a grin on your face as felt his wings stretch and give a powerful flap.
You were flying.
- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -
Red leaves floated to the ground in a graceful and elegant dance. The white bark on the tree’s was a huge contrast to the reds of the leaves they held. Winter Pixies had yet to touch the area; there was no snow or even flurries. He knew it wouldn’t be too long before winter came this far North in Asterios. He needed to pick up his pace.
The Red Wood was not the best place to be. But there Yunho was, following a trace of magic that could have been linked to the Arkrine incident. At least they were allowing him to walk on their land, for now. One wrong move and he most likely won’t be making it back at all. They were a reclusive bunch who followed the orders of a cold and cruel Emperor. Which was ironic to hear, in Yunho’s eyes: being a cold hearted ruler, yet being a species centered around fire? Irony at its best.
It’s been over a day since Yunho stepped foot into the Forest of Flames, the Red Wood, the Bloody Forest… the list goes on depending on who you ask. The tracking started in Serentia, on the outskirts of the Fae’s personal Gateway. He followed it thoroughly while questioning individuals on the road. No one saw anything suspicious, however it’s only a matter of time before someone sees something. Or slips up.
His footsteps froze and he frowned before a frustrated growl erupted from clenched teeth. Another day wasted. Every minute was precious in trying to find the one behind Arkrine as well as (hopefully) the Humans. Yunho wondered if this was just a goose chase for him; a way of keeping him away from the truth. He almost went back but a twig snapping caused him to freeze in his steps.
“A Warlock around these parts? That’s quite odd.”
Standing a few meters away was a Fae female. She was one of the oldest looking Fae’s he has seen; skin worn and wrinkled from time, short and stout. She had a homey look about it, one that seemed sweet and soft. A grandmotherly look to her, a wicker basket to even complete the look.
“And a Fae is not?” Yunho was curious but knew looks could be deceiving. She might appear sweet but she most likely wasn’t all sugar. “What brings you out here?”
The older woman reached in her basket and revealed a bright red apple. “The Forest of Flames is known for having some of the best red apples- perfect for my treats I make.” She smiled. “What of you, Warlock?”
“Studying magic here. I wish to know as much as I can about all types of magic.” A half truth and half lie. “While walking here, have you noticed anything odd?”
“Besides you?” She grinned at her own joke. “I fear not my dear. Just the quiet woods. Makes me wonder what the Phoenix’s are up to some days.”
“They enjoy their isolation.” Yunho knew this was a dead end- the magic he was tracing had abruptly stopped. He doesn’t believe in coincidences; it basically led to the older woman. “I don’t believe I got your name.” His tone was light and casual, making conversation.
The woman smiled and gave him a nod. “They call me Sweetie. I own a bakery in Serentia.” She walked closer, reaching inside the basket to pull out a roll. “Try this, it’s a new recipe!”
Yunho knew the bakery she was speaking of, having walked by there multiple times himself. The aromas gave off were always tempting him, and he kept promising that one day he would step inside. Carefully he took the break and bit off a small bit.
“Oh gods, this is incredible.” It was soft, warm, and there was almost a sweetness to it- he couldn’t place his finger on. “You are a master at your craft.”
“I can’t take all the credit- I have a young apprentice. She’s talented, especially with bread! Her family has some fantastic recipes.” Sweetie was beaming with authentic pride, Yunho couldn’t help but smile with her.
“You must give her my compliments then.”
“I’ll be sure to! Honey is a wonderful girl, she’s super kind too! Be sure to stop by and pay us a visit!”
Sweetie walked off, humming a soft tune cheerfully. Yunho watched for a moment, sighing, he decided to backtrack and try one more time in following the trail. Something just didn’t seem right in these woods.
Warnings: depressing themes; thrilling themes; mentions of death; intense makeout scene?; Felix being a cockblock;
Summary:Curious as to how your village came to be and having a thirst for knowledge, you venture into the Forgotten Forest in hopes of discovering the truth of your roots. But it seems you have bitten off more than you can chew.
WC:3.7k
Note: Back at it again with Namjoon fluff. I’m just a simp for this man, I’m not sorry. But you get to know more about him this time around! And more~
Tag List: Open- DM me if you want to be added! If I forgot you/your @ isn’t working, please let me know so I can try to fix it <3
The new story’s poll last day is tomorrow! Vote and see which story of Asterios will be told next! Click here!
Your breath quickened as you looked up, eyes meeting those of a dark brown. They were void of all emotion and stared back into your terrified ones. Long fingers slide on either side of your face, holding your head steady. His face twisted into a smile that held sharp teeth as he watched tears glisten in your eyes. You could feel the pressure of his hand, watching his smile grow wider, wilder. Your breath hitched as his hands jerked violently to the side-
Cold, clammy, and shaking you shot up from the bed, breathing fast and hard as you looked around wildly. The large room, the one where you last remember falling asleep… You fell asleep here. You were no longer on the mountain with those two creatures. You had barely made it out alive…
An arm tightened around your waist, securing you closer to a solid surface of heat. It chased away the chill from the nightmare and settled your shaking bones.
“Y/n,” Namjoon’s voice came from your side. Bringing you closer he tucked your head into his neck. “You’re here. You’re okay.”
His words were soft, soothing to your ears and helped calm your racing heart. Hands stroked the top of your head while the other kept you against him. The tremors that traveled throughout your body disappeared as something softer vibrated through you. Closing your eyes you could feel the soft vibrations coming from Namjoon’s chest.
Like a cat purring.
It helped ground you enough to move yourself out of his grasp, heat spreading from your cheeks and down your neck. It was already embarrassing enough that you begged him to stay with you, and now the poor Dragon had to witness your nightmare? Refusing to make eye contact, you cleared your throat a little and settled on staring at your hands in your lap.
The safest option.
“I-uh… dream was… yeah…” You rambled pathetically, wincing at your own choice of words and just how scratchy your throat was.
There was a chuckle beside you as the Dragon sat up properly, arm wrapping back around you. Despite your attempt at distance he was keen on keeping you glued to his side. Green eyes danced in the early morning light, watching your face with a mix of amusement and adoration. “I’ll explain everything to you once you’ve been taken care of.”
Your eyebrows knit together, wondering what he meant but the growl in your stomach seemed to have answered your question. Your cheeks slightly flushed once more as Namjoon grinned. Fingers danced against your back as he leaned closer, watching your face redden like a tomato with embarrassment as he was mere inches away. He stared for a second, eyes scanning your face as you fidgeted slightly under his intense gaze.
“Cute…” The word spilled from his lips in a whisper, making your eyes widen. A grin was all he gave you as he stood suddenly. “I’ll take care of you.” Standing up, he made his way across the room, turning one last time to you. His eyes danced with amusement as he watched you for a second before he disappeared out of the room.
When the door slid shut you frowned, not knowing how to understand the feelings that were washing over you. All your life you had been used to isolation, independence, and being able to distance yourself with ease. But with Namjoon… it was different. And you found yourself enjoying the feelings that he brought, even if they did frighten you. Feelings you’ve never experienced before, that made you feel almost selfish. Almost.
You didn’t want to leave the peaceful room and found yourself longing to stay locked up in the safe walls, away from the chaos that was waiting outside that sliding door. You enjoyed how quiet and simple it was. But those feelings of want were paired with feelings of guilt. The village of Arcrine was never kind to you and a small part of you wanted to watch the entire place crumble and let whatever happens happen. But a larger part of you knew there were still good souls living in that place.
Good souls such as Jongho, a childhood best friend that stayed true to you. The baker’s daughter who did her best to give Jongho extra bread to take to you, despite the people not wanting you anywhere near them. For fear of the unknown. You could see it through their eyes: a child that can understand the talking’s of the insane was not something to smile upon. Rather it was entirely fearsome, worrisome. You still remember the horror that crossed your mothers face when you announced to the world that you understood them. All because you ventured inside the forest, where Felix found you. A small decision made by childish curiosity led you on the path that you were currently on: going from the village’s outcast to one of the few who could help them. All because you wanted to learn more and grow outside the forest that enclosed you.
And you almost had those answers that riddled you for decades now; all you needed to do was speak to Felix and ask the questions that lingered on Arcrine. Those answers could help guide you to a solution to the problems you faced regarding the fog, land, and disease. There was a sliver of hope that perhaps the magic of Asterios could save Arcrine and you could see Jongho and go home-
Home.
The very word brought images to your mind that before you wouldn’t have even thought about.
Your mind didn’t see your small home where one room fit your entire living space. There were no dark woods that were cursed with a fog. No Humans that spit on your existence and claim you to be cursed. The world of gray that you had known was no longer a place you wanted to be a part of. Wanted to go back. Instead you saw vibrant colors. Mountains as high as the sky, forests that held life and possibility. You wanted to see more, do more, and explore this new world. You could see yourself traveling in peace, learning more of the species around you, sharing knowledge and wisdom with Soojin. You wanted to watch a sunset with your hand being held in another that belonged to a handsome man with green eyes.
Your face fell in your hands, cheeks turning red all over again. ‘Gods, what is wrong with me?’
The door slid open and you peeked up to see the very man of your thoughts walking in, a large tray balanced in his hands. He placed the food before you and took his original seat at your side.
“These items are light on the stomach, easy to digest.” He began, pointing at the bowls before you. “Bone broth, rice, and some bread. There’s a glass of water,” He motioned to a taller glass then a smaller one. “And tea. Mixed together some lovely herbs to help soothe that throat of yours. Oh, and magic, per Soojin.”
You were quick at drinking the water and tea, not wasting a single minute as you gulped the water and sipped the tea. In one minute you had finished the glass and half of the tea. Whatever Soojin placed in the tea had your throat healing faster than you could blink.
“Whoa. Much better, thank you. I do have questions-” You paused, thinking for a moment. “A lot. And I don’t know where to begin honestly…”
“There’s so much to unpack… so much to finally tell you.” A small smile on his face as he looked at his lap. “As Soojin once said, stories are best told with good food. In your case, easy to digest food that is.” The two of you shared a laugh, recalling that day that seemed forever ago. “Looks like this time I’ll do all the talking while you listen.” You grinned as you remembered how you spoke of your family to the Dragon not too long ago. His arm slithered back around your waist while his eyes looked lost in thought for a minute. “We’ll start at the beginning…
“I was born here, in Draegon, 600 years ago. My mother was a general while my father was a strategist, and together served the Dragons of Draengon for centuries. Even when the Mortal War was upon us they served until the end. You see, Draengon fell when the Human’s mainland, Nysa, fell; the two were close allies and shared much military strength together. I was a fledgling at the time, a child who witnessed villages burning and Dragon’s being slaughtered. My mother did not make it, and despite his anguish at losing his wife, my father carried on for my sake.
“We spent my upbringing hiding from the Elves; they had always made Dragon hunting a sport. And once the war was over it only got worse. Magic flows through every creature here on Asterios, it gives each one a special ability. Along with breathing fire and scales that are near impossible to penetrate, we can also shift to different sizes. It allows stealthy travel as well as easier living spaces for those who prefer their Dragon form.
“My father took me high in the mountains of Draengon, a place the war hadn’t touched. We stayed there for a couple of centuries. When I was officially of age, my father passed. I knew his time was coming soon; losing his mate to survive and knowing he’d never hold her again,” The arm around your waist tightened, hand gripping the fabric of your shirt. “It’s a fate worse than death to live your life without the other side of your soul there. He was buried properly amongst his comrades, where my mother was slayed.
“For nearly a century I attempted to find other Dragons. I had hopes of finding a friend, companion, and if the gods allowed, a mate. But I remained alone in the mountains, hiding from the Elves that lurked around and wondering what my purpose was. Life held no meaning for me, I read all the books that were in that old library, searched high and low. My life felt as though it was dragging on. Until around two decades ago.
“Something in me was tugging, urging me to leave the safety of my nest. My Dragon, those instincts, were kickstarting. Although it warmed my insides there was something deep down that sensed trouble… I couldn’t explain it, but I had to go. I followed that feeling all the way until I reached the far Eastern side of Asterios. And then it was gone… I felt as though my heart broke. That the one thing that could bring joy into this life was taken from me. I searched every day and night desperately trying to get that feeling back. Until one night I gave up.
“I’ll be honest, I didn’t want to continue anymore. I was tired, alone, and wandering around aimlessly for 20 years. I was depressed and tired, and then the Orcs found me. Instinctually I tried to fight but honestly I was tired; what’s the point of living without having a purpose? I didn’t have one… And then a purpose found me. Hope found me.” A smile appeared on his face. “You, Y/n. You found me.” He fixed his gaze at you, a mixture of emotions flowing through them. “That night I was ready to die, but then I finally found you. An impossible gift from the gods.”
You can easily recall that night, the dream you had of him in his little form imprisoned. But you had to frown. You? A gift? Not something you were used to being called if you were honest. As if sensing your doubt you felt his weight shift on the bed.
“Y/n. My little Seeker.” His voice was closer, and turning your head you noticed that he had gotten closer. A hand cupped yours, thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand. “I was searching for you this entire time.” His eyes bore into yours, trying to get you to understand but he was met with confusion. Of course you didn’t know, couldn’t know, what he was talking about. You knew what he was feeling, that much he was sure of, but you’ve never learned of this.
Leaning closer he rested his forehead against yours, just like in Soojin’s shop. The contact grounded him, keeping him from shaking as the memories came flooding back.
“You don’t know how helpless I felt while we traveled.” He whispered, voice shaking slightly. “I couldn’t help you, couldn’t even talk to you.” Fingers threaded through your hair, he closed his eyes. “Each day that passed felt like an eternity. I was worthless, watching you carry the entire journey on your shoulders. And I still couldn’t protect you properly…” His jaw clenched. “That damn Elf. Siyeon,” The name was spat out, face scowling. “Led you to Draengon on the worst path imaginable; weather conditions, weak magic, and steep hills. I don’t know how… maybe the gods took pity on us… but my strength came back just before the bastard…”
“I failed you on that mountain. I failed to avenge you.” Namjoon looked sick, pressing his head harder against yours. His hands shook as he clung to you. “Seeing you there, seeing you suffering and ready to accept your fate for me. I wanted to kill them, I tried to kill them both. But you were fading, your heartbeat was already so weak. I did some damage to them before taking you away. I blindly followed those instincts and prayed to any god that would listen to keep you here. Keep your heart beating.”
“I saw it,” You blinked a few times as you recalled the passing scenes that made no sense to you at the time. “I could feel you…”
“You were clinging to life and I- I couldn’t let you go. I just found you- I did everything to keep you alive.” His lip trembled as new tears spilled as he closed his eyes. “But it wasn’t enough.”
You knew what he was speaking of. You remember hearing him, his scream…
“You died, Y/n. Your heart stopped, I heard it, feltit…” His shoulders quivered. “When your heart stopped I felt as though the world ended. I held you in this room. You were cold, frail, I didn’t see any signs of life-” He swallowed the lump in his throat. Green eyes shimmered with Until I felt you, through the bond. Barely there, you were hanging on… Ourbond saved your life. Your soul threaded with mine and refused to let go.” Namjoon opened his eyes, the whites red from the tears. His face turned into your palm, lips grazing the skin as he shivered. “The magic in our bond gave you the strength you needed. Your heartbeat was music to my ears and still is.”
“Bond…” A shimmering green rope of sorts came to your mind; clinging to it while screaming you were still here- “It’s green and shimmers.” Your voice sounded distant as you remembered. “I had to grab it, I was falling into darkness.” Chills danced across your skin. “It had a heartbeat-”
“My magic, running inside my veins, was bringing you back to me.” His thumbs brushed your cheeks, only now realizing silent tears streamed down your face. “That’s the beauty of our bond. And I never got to tell you…”
With your faces just inches apart you could see the raw emotions that played behind those hooded eyes. So many emotions swimming in shades of green, a color you wanted to drown in. You found yourself leaning closer, transfixed, but large hands kept you still.
“I almost lost you once, I cannot, will not, make that mistake again.” A hand dropped from your face, reaching into his pocket, and pulling out a small item; almost black at first glance, but once the sun shined upon it you saw the green coming through.
“Your scale, I thought I lost it-” You reached for it, fingers almost grasping the item but Namjoon enclosed it in his fist. You frowned and looked up at him. His face set with determination, eyes glued to yours with an unwavering look. Freezing up you thought that perhaps he was still mad about trading it when you first arrived. “Namjoon, I’m sorry-”
“Soojin was right when she first told you about the scale,” He ignored the apology, eyes trained on his fist. “We give it to people we truly care for. Anama Cara as the Fae like to call it. And Y/n, that is what you are to me.” His hands were gentle as he took one of your hands and placed the scale at the center of your palm. “The bond we have is no mere coincidence, nor is it a mistake. Whether it be from the gods or the stars themselves make no difference to me; nothing could change the fact that you, Y/n, are not justmy Human. Our souls are entwined together, predestined and fated. I was made for you, and you, me. Those feelings, the dreams, it was through this bond that we were able to find one another. I was able to find you, Y/n of Acrine, my mate.”
The world felt as though it stopped. In that single moment, nothing else mattered. Your heartbeat was echoing in your ears as you stared at Namjoon. And of course, it made sense. This would have sounded impossible but after being in Asterios, after all that you two have been through, you knewhe was right. The joy, the feeling of freedom, of love, of security, of wonder, of feeling at home…
It all leads back to Namjoon.
“We give our mates a scale, to represent that we will be with them, guard them, protect them, sacrifice for them, and above all else,” His fingers intertwined with yours, the scale being encased between both your hands. “To love them. Y/n, I know I failed at many of these promises. But I swear to you, I will never let you get hurt again. I will never let you be touched by that darkness again.”
Your lip trembled, head shaking slightly as a small laugh escaped you. “Sill Dragon, you can’t promise me those things.” Your voice shook with emotion. Namjoon frowned and you continued. “But you can promise to stand by my side, show me what love truly is, teach me what home feels like and to catch me when I do fall.” Clutching the Dragon scale you leaned forward, pressing a small kiss to his head. “As long as you’re with me, I’m okay.”
Arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you directly into his lap. His face buried in your neck, taking a deep breath as a shudder escaped him. You could feel a few tears stray from his eyes as he slowly rocked you with him. You nuzzled into his chest, listening to his heartbeat and the soft rumble that could easily make you fall asleep again.
Pulling you away gently, he offered a small smile. “You missed…” You frowned, wondering what he meant until he leaned in.
His lips caught yours, soft, careful, and steady. A hand reached up to the back of your head, fingers gently tangled into your hair, tilting your head at the right angle. His other hand remained at your lower back, hand pressing you closer, no space allowed between the two of you. Your hands wandered to his shoulders then up to the base of his neck, pressing yourself impossibly closer, deepening the kiss.
You earned a low growl from him, one that used to make your flight or fight kick in but now it caused a buzz to surge through your body, tingling down to your toes. His hand suddenly gripped your hair, making your lips part in a soft gasp. Taking advantage, Namjoon slid his tongue past your lips, claiming every inch of your mouth.
Heart beating wild, body feeling as though it were on fire, you had to have been in paradise. Pulling away for air, you felt his lips slide to the corner of your mouth, trailing down your throat. Teeth nipping at your skin for brief seconds before his tongue swiped across the area lovingly, almost apologetic. Your body arched towards his, head rolling back to give him better access, a silent plea to continue. Hand trailing down from your hair, pulling the flimsy cloth back to reveal more skin; his lips quite to pounce on the new territory. Your hips unconsciously rolled into his, a soft moan coming from you as he found a weak point. The Dragon was quick to assault the area thoroughly, reveling in the way you moaned with pleasure. You wanted more, your hands were dropping to his shirt, trying to rip it off-
You jolted at the sound of the screen door being pounded on. Followed by a voice you knew too well.
“Now that you two are mates, or whatever, it’s time we spoke about what else has been going on!”
You heard Felix’s footsteps fade, your breath still heavy, skin still warm from the intense contact. Looking at Namjoon, he was glaring at the door, eyes narrowed.
“I’m going to kill him,” He growled, voice still deep from the haze of lust that had taken over. His hands were still glued to you, fingers playing with your shirt.
Feeling yourself turn red at the realization that Felix and Soojin most likely heard and knew, you could only laugh. Keeping your head tucked into Namjoon’s neck you sighed. “He’s right though; we need to head back.”
Sighing he stood, pulling you up with him. “Fine. But then I’ll kill him-”
“No.”
Chuckling he took your hand and took you to the door, leading you down a hallway and towards a main room where a Sorceress and Fae were eagerly awaiting your arrival.
Warnings: depressing themes; thrilling themes; mentions of blood/injuries; mentions of death; FLUFF SO MUCH FLUFF
Summary:Curious as to how your village came to be and having a thirst for knowledge, you venture into the Forgotten Forest in hopes of discovering the truth of your roots. But it seems you have bitten off more than you can chew.
WC:3k
Note: Finally, FINALLY, you get to meet Namjoon. Figured after all the excitement we could use a fluffy chapter. So much fluff, protective Joon is here yessirrr and as always please enjoy and let me know what you think.
Here soon there will be a poll made where I’ll take a vote on who’s story should be written next! Itbetween a few candidates(:
You were drowning in a sea of darkness. Every breath felt like a struggle, as if tons of stone were pressing against your chest. You could feel your heart weakly beating, slowly straining against the weight that was pulling you down into nothingness. You couldn’t move. You couldn’t open your eyes, no matter how hard you tried. You were paralyzed in this dark and lonely void with nothing but your thoughts and your sore body. There were no memories of how you got so beat up, how you felt like you were bathing in ice, and why you were so exhausted. There were no memories, no recollection.
Just you, in pain, being pulled down.
But it seemed the gods pitied you. They gave you brief moments of solace. Where the pain disappeared for a minute or so. Where you could grasp on to a small piece of hope that you weren’t entirely alone.
These moments, fragments of seconds, where you found yourself escaping the void. The darkness would cease to exist and you’d find yourself elsewhere, with new feelings and emotions. Ones you couldn’t quite decipher. It was always when you felt yourself sinking further into the darkness, always when something went wrong. A small price to pay for a moment of painlessness.
The first moment was when you could feel your blood pressure rise suddenly, your heart pounding irregularly in your ears, something warm trickled down your nose with the smell of iron accompanying it…
Snow covered mountains flew by your vision as the ice winds slapped against your face. You felt yourself rushing forward with a need. You could feel the need to move faster rush through your veins, adrenaline spiking out of control. Your arms held something smaller, something still…
The second moment was when your lungs felt like they were burning, you were gasping for air but each intake felt like a small flame. No matter how much you gasped there never seemed to be enough air to breathe…
The sky was pitch black, moon high above illuminating the area. A dark wooden sliding door quickly came to view, you kicked it open without a second thought. Storming through the dark area, you knew where you needed to go. Arms pulling something cold closer to your chest as you stormed deeper into the place.
And the final moment was when your heart stopped…
Vision blurred as colors danced around, you dropped to your knees, you could feel the angry scream ripping out of your lips. You could feel the burn in your throat from the strain of your vocal chords. But the world around you sounded muffled. Your arms shook as you curled in on yourself.
Then you were back once more. Sinking faster into a sea of black, wondering when it will end. How it will all end… you could feel sorrow creep inside you as you realized how you didn’t want it to end. You wanted to open your eyes and break free from the dark prison. There was something out there that you wanted. No… There was someone out there that you needed. You couldn’t give up, you needed…
A shimmer of green caught your eye from above. Right at arms length.
It was a glowing rope; a beautiful shade of green illuminating the darkness around you. It was looks strong and the warmth radiated from it tickled your cheeks in a beautiful way. Every eternal instinct inside screaming to grab onto it, as though your life depended on it. Without hesitation your hand shot out. The rope felt smooth as you entangled your fingers through it, feeling a steady pulse thrumming inside. Every beat pulsing through the rope and through you.
You clung to it, not wanting to fall anymore, not wanting to let go and be swallowed by the darkness that surrounded you. Your tangled fingers refusing to let go as your arms shook under your weight. You pressed your head against the glowing mystery, shaking as you refused to drop anymore. The pulse was beating stronger now and you allowed it to radiate through you as well. Despite the pain that your body was in, despite the ache of your lungs and your heart that has decided to give up you felt something deep inside you scream one phrase:
I’m still here.
I’m still here.
I’m still here.
I’M STILL HERE-
Then there was light. It was a warm light.
You still felt tired but were no longer falling into a void, and there was something soft laying on you. Something that was a little heavy but not too heavy that it was hard to breathe, unlike how it was moments before. And there was a scent in the air that was soft and inviting. It had a soft earthy tone, the smell helping you feel grounded. It made you feel calm and at ease. That is until your memories came flooding back in like a tidal wave. Memories of a snowy mountain, of two creatures, a large Dragon, and you were falling…
Your heart stopped. It had ceased to beat.
In a panic your eyes flew open and felt your body stiffen at the sight before you. Gold eyes that were framed with long black fur stared back at you. Stared into your soul. You didn’t dare move, mind still foggy, worried what it would do when you felt a gentle vibration.
Apurr.
Salem.
You let out a long breath as the cat laid on your chest, watching with a relaxed aura about him. Shakily you lifted up an arm and gently gave the small feline pets, the silky fur and soft purring helping ease your anxious mind. But then you had to wonder- where were you and how did Salem get to you…
“Salem sure has his favorites.”
You jumped a little, Salem letting out a huff of annoyance as he shot the speaker a glare that held no bite. Sitting right next to you was Soojin, dressed in a long black dress with gold accessories that matched her gold eyes. She smiled at you, hand reaching for the one not occupied with Salem.
“Y/n, it’s so good to see you’re finally awake.” She whispered, thumb rubbing soothing circles on your skin. “We were so worried.” Her eyes matched the concern in her voice, gold iris’ boring into yours.
While you had so many questions running around in your head, there was only one that was at the forefront of your mind. Only one that mattered the most to you the most:
“Where’s Namjoon?”
Your voice was hoarse and sounded god awful. Your throat was still swollen and made even swallowing difficult. Every breath you took through your lips, which were somehow bruised and just as swollen, was held a painful bite.
You didn’t miss the way Soojin’s eyes lit up, a small smile gracing her lips. “Your Dragon is well, thanks to you. You saved his life.” Her voice was still soft as if she were speaking to a scared little kitten. “He has been restored back to full health, well, physically he’s all and well. He was worried about you too.”
You were going to ask where he was, your heart sinking at the thought of losing him and never being able to see the Dragon again when foots interrupted the two of you. It made you look around for the first time, realizing that you were in an unknown room that was quite large. The bed was low to the ground, but extremely soft, decorated in sheets of muted colors that were earth tones. Behind Soojin was a wall that was opened to reveal a snowy landscape that was breathtaking. And yet the room was perfectly warm and cozy.
On the other side was a sliding door that was left cracked open, you could make out two silhouettes. They were speaking in hushed tones, until one tried to side step the other, resulting in a deep growl and a raise of tone of the first figure.
A pat on your arm had you snapping your head to see Soojin shaking hers. “I swear, no one listens to me around here. Y/n, dear, give me a second.” She wasted no time in walking towards the sliding door opening it up just enough for you to see past her and into the darker hallway. Your eyes followed and watched as the light illuminated just enough to make out two men.
The one closer to the door was taller than the other male, his hair as brown as the earth and that looked soft, his skin having a soft golden hue to it. You could only see the back of his head, eyes wandering to see the muscles straining against the silk shirt, a color of emerald green. You should have felt shame eyeing the male up and down but you couldn’t tear your eyes away.
Soojin was hissing at the two and you found yourself unable to look away as the first male grumbled something back, still staring the second male down. You sat up, wincing, feeling the need to get up and make yourself known. The pain was pushed to the back of your mind, eyes still watching the trio with curiosity as well as something else. A pull tugging you forward and towards them. Or rather him.
Salem was gently pushed further down the bed, the black cat letting out a whine, clearly displeased at the new seating arrangement. It was hard to pull yourself up to a sitting position but you were determined to get your body moving. You watched as Soojin tried to shoo the two away with her hands and you almost whined as the first male began to leave. His back slowly moving away from the door had you trying to jump up after him, swinging one leg down to the floor-
“Ah-!”
“Mow.”
A soft whimper came from you along with a grumbled response from the cat, who glared at you from ruining his warm spot and lovely head pats. Your legs had given out the moment you applied the minimum amount of weight to them. The floor was warm, thankfully, but not soft in the slightest. You winced, allowing yourself to lay there pitifully with eyes closed and the urge to move forward trying to push you up. Your arms shook as you tried pull yourself up, having no strength left you welcomed the faceplant on the floor-
But hands caught you.
They carefully gripped your upper arms and slowly helped you into a sitting position. You were treated as though you were made of glass; one wrong move and you’d break. The hands were large, warm, and you could feel callouses decorating that skin. Your eyes followed the hands, seeing strong and thick arms, linked to a broad chest, finally up to a face that held your undivided attention.
Mere inches away was a handsome young man, with hair the color of coffee that fell into disheveled pieces and a face that was soft, kind. Full lips were smiling gently at you, dimples appearing and making your heart flutter. And the eyes, hooded and almost intimidating, the color of emeralds.
Eyes you have come to know all too well.
His hands reached up your shoulders and laid gently at the base of your neck, thumbs rubbing small circles on your cheeks with a carefulness you’ve never experienced. His eyes scanned your body and face, looking for signs of injury while you sat frozen to the spot.
The world around the two of you ceased to exist. You were drawn to him like a moth to a flame as your mind connected the dots. This was no stranger. You knew him. Your finger slowly lifted, almost as though you were in a trance, and carefully dragged it from his forehead to the tip of his nose. The same way you had pet your Dragon, as light as a feather. His eyes fluttered, his head tilting closer to you. His lips parted as he was about to speak-
“Oh praise the Kitsune, my little Kelpie is alive!”
The voice shattered your bubble, a voice you recognized from what felt like a lifetime ago. Your froze, cheeks heating up at the realization of your actions all while the young man before you tensed up, a low growl forming in chest. A growl that made you freeze up at the sheer viciousness behind it. You quickly pulled your finger back, hands in your lap as your head ducked down.
“Felix,” Soojin sounded like a whip, gold eyes narrowing at the blonde Fae from where he stood in the doorway. “Get out. Now.” Her tone made the man’s growl before you sound like a puppy’s bark. You flinched at her tone, not wanting to be behind the receiving end of it.
Her words were unheard as the Fae all but threw himself on you, wrapping you tightly in his arms. You nearly fell back, the hands that had secured you were gone and replaced by the Fae’s weight which you couldn’t hold. Arms pinned to your side you winced as his voice was right in your ear. "You’re safe, you’re alive- oof!”
Your head was spinning as you watched the Fae being dragged by the ear out of the room, Soojin seething and hissing at him. She was fast to grab him and get him untangled from you. She threw an apologetic look your way and closed the door shut, Salem following his Sorceress. Her voice was now rising elsewhere before disappearing altogether. Leaving you in complete silence. Leaving you alone with him. Speaking of…
His eyes were trained on the door, his face scowling at the paper. His hands were at his side, forming tight fists. The growl had grown increasingly so and there was a part of you that wanted to flee. Call it your basic instincts coming into play; hearing a growl and wanting to retreat. You felt frozen to your spot, eyes watching him, almost waiting for him to snap at you like a predator-
Green eyes clashed with your eyes and the growling stopped immediately. His hand quickly took your own, fingers threading your hands together. His eyes were pleading as he said. “Never you. I’d never do that to you.”
His voice was deep and soothing. It seemed to erase all your worries away and make you feel safe and sound. The instinct to flee was quickly replaced with a sense of security. You could only slowly nod your head, refusing to look away. As if he’d disappear forever in the blink of an eye. But you weren’t the only one. His eyes wouldn’t leave your face, drinking you in with an emotion that you couldn’t describe.
“Y/n…” His voice was in awe, a whisper. A smile reappeared on his face, dimples on full display. “My Human.”
A pleasurable shiver went down your spine hearing your name roll off his tongue. You smiled softly back at him. “Namjoon, my Dragon.” You’d be a liar to say your face didn’t flush along with his. But you maintained eye contact as a soft smile grew on your face. “Nice to officially meet you.”
Your voice was hoarse still, barely above a whisper, and sounded terrible. It honestly ruined the mood, especially compared to his voice that sounded smooth and sweet. Namjoon froze, eyes widening as he quickly stood up. You frowned for a moment, wondering what he was up to when you were suddenly scooped up in his arms with ease. The arms felt familiar around you, a memory bubbling at the surface of your brain but left just as quickly when you were tucked back in.
Namjoon was quick at securing the blankets around you, eyebrows knit together in concentration as he muttered under his breath. He ran a hand through his hair as he looked towards the door. His body froze, debating something before turning back to you. “I’ll be right back-”
“No, please stay.” You grabbed his hand, voice pleading and weak as you looked up at him. The thought of him leaving the room made your stomach drop as a feeling of sadness washed over you. You couldn’t explain why but you needed Namjoon there. You wanted to chalk it up to anxiety over his well being; the last time you saw him he was weak and barely holding on.
“You need water, food, rest-” He began to ramble off a list of things, but stopped when you squeezed his hand. It was weak and he could hardly feel your fingers gripping his, your hand still on the cool side.
And that cemented it.
No more words were needed as you gave him a small tug. Namjoon crawled over you, mindful of not accidentally hurting you. He laid on top of the thick blankets, one arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you closer, coaxing your head to lay on his chest where his heart was beating steadily. You embraced his warmth, eyes fluttering as you curled into his side, one hand reaching up to grip his shirt gently. Placing his hand over yours, his face dipped down to press his head to yours.
“Sleep my little Seeker. I’ll be here.”
So many parts of you were feeling mixed emotions and wanting different things. On one hand, you wanted to ask so many questions; what happened to Siyeon, where you were and how long has it been, and why was Felix and Soojin with you? Your brain wanted the answers right then and there as worries tried to plague your mind. Then there was another part of you that wanted to pry yourself out of Namjoon’s side; that he was still a stranger, that you shouldn’t be this open and touching to a man you’ve truly just met.
But those thoughts were drowned out by something you can’t describe. You trusted Namjoon entirely, he made you feel safe and secure. The answers could wait and the negative thoughts could burn for all you cared. You were both safe and alive and in that moment that was all that mattered to you.
You pressed yourself closer to his side, eyes fluttering closed as strong hands rubbed up and down your spine soothingly. His hand kept yours secure, thumb rubbing small circles on the back of your hand. His head was kept ducked down, cheek resting against the top of your hair, his heart beat music to your ears as you gradually fell into a deep and peaceful sleep. Your Dragon keeping you safe and warm.
Warnings: depressing themes; thrilling themes; mentions of blood/injuries;
Summary:Curious as to how your village came to be and having a thirst for knowledge, you venture into the Forgotten Forest in hopes of discovering the truth of your roots. But it seems you have bitten off more than you can chew.
WC:6.8k
Note: It ended up being 18 pages, hehe. Lots of action here, so enjoy reading and let me know what you think! As always, thank you for reading and enjoying the story <3
The high-noon sunlight streamed through the windows cascading onto the wooden floor. Thin sheets of curtain danced in the cool breeze, a hint of fresh water and leaves flowed along with it. The low tables held books scattered around, some open on random pages while others were left closed. Notes littered the table as well, on them were several different languages that could be found throughout Asterios. It was peaceful. Calm.
Serene.
The only sound that could be heard was the occasional page flipping, strong hands gently holding the leather while green eyes drank in every word, every letter. This was where he belonged, where he felt the most at peace. In a warm room with a cool breeze, surrounded by multiple types of writing that covered every genre one could think of. Tales of times old, documents that held sensitive information, and poems that painted the world in a beautiful light.
He was perched on a wooden bench by the window that overlooked the luscious green garden. Flowers bloomed as far as the eye could see, delicate shades of whites, pinks, and reds with a sweet aroma that flooded the entire area in a heavenly way. The smell was mesmerizing, intoxicating. Each deep breath brought another wave of relaxation onto his body.
A soft smile played on plush lips, dimples displaying as Namjoon read the poems by the author E. E Cummings. He had been a Human poet, creating many poems of the world, of beauty, of wonder, of love…
“I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart. I am never without it. Anywhere you go I go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is done by your doing, my darling.”
A voice with the depth of the ocean softly spoke the poem into existence, the words flowing easily past his lips. His mind wondered what it was like to have love like this? To have someone hold his heart in such a way that he would travel the ends of the world for them? There was a gentle tug at his heart that made him pause for a mere moment.
Eyes that could hold the galaxy watched him worriedly through steel bars…
“I fear no fate, for you are my fate, my sweet. I want no world, for beautiful you are my world, my true. And it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant and a sun will always sing is you.”
Green eyes slowly narrowed, the words echoing against the plain white walls. The serene feeling was slowly fading. He felt alone, as if the words were nudging him to a truth. Those eyes he recalled… it gently scratched against his mind… a memory…
His arms wrapped around a figure, clutching the smaller frame to himself. Unconscious, wounded, but by the gods was he thankful-
“Here is the deepest secret no one knows. Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope and mind can hide.”
A soft chuckle tickled his ears, fingers brushing against his head in a slow and tender way. Skin that was softer than his scales, but still held calluses from hard work. His tail curled around a small wrist, gently squeezing as always. They’re way of communicating-
“And this is the wonder that is keeping the stars apart. I carry your heart with me. I carry it in my heart.”
Thud!
The book slipped from his fingertips, the thud sounding muffled in his ears as he jumped up. His heart was racing, eyes scanning the room in panic. He was human again… no… he was… eyebrows knitted together as he stormed towards the screen door.
This wasn’t right. He can’t morph yet, he’s still too weak.
‘Where was Y/n? How did I get here-’
Illusion.
An illusion casted on his mind… playing a trick to keep his attention away from the problems.
Away from you.
His lip curled up in a snarl at the realization. Strong magic encased his brain, keeping him trapped in this dreamlike state. It was a simple and strong tactic, keeping him chained in his own head. He didn’t need to know why it was done nor who had done it, the spell was quite a simple thing to do: keeping him in this dreamlike state meant you were on your own. A Human wandering around Asterios without any help-
That was it. A Dragon and Human paired together was a dangerous combination. The two of you were coveted for multiple reasons and many would hunt you both down without a second thought. He remembers being at A Cauldron’s Kiss, remembers feeling weaker and drifting off to sleep. He can recall feeling trapped in a bag, swinging with every fast step you made. How your heart was racing, how he could smell your fear. His heart sank at the way your scent took on bitter notes, making his instincts flare up. But he still couldn’t move, his body nothing more than a pile of bones and meat in your bag.
He smelt herlast.
Bitter. Cold. It was as though ice was being shoved up his nose for a moment. He was still too weak to move and moments later he was falling asleep again. He needed to fight to keep his eyes open but it was no use- he fell asleep again.
Fell asleep here. Where this creature thought he could keep him still and away from you. A deep growl bloomed in his chest, the Dragon inside being awakened as well. He didn’t want to waste any time, large hands gripped the screen and slammed it open. The wood splintered in tiny pieces from impact, rage filling his vision
He blinked-
The world around him shifted.
Gone was the quante room with books, the serene feeling evaporated into one of cold and dark loneliness. Inside this darkness he saw a thick green rope of sorts, shimmering in the blackness that surrounded him. He was standing in a void of sorts… there was nothing but black and inky blues around him, with the exception of the beautiful shimmer of green. It was calling to him…
The mating bond.
The magic that connected him to you, he could see it. Namjoon could always feel it, the tug that was connecting him to you; the bond that could allow him to reach out to you. Despite the bond not being completed, it was remarkably strong and sturdy. There was no need to even tug it to test the strength- he could feel it. The strong connection humming around him, throughhim.
He was entranced at the way it pulsed softly, the way the magic was alive and thrumming with a beat. Long fingers reached out, the tip of his index brushed against the bond only to jump back with a sharp intake of breath. A shiver ran down his spine, his breathing labored and eyes wide as he stared.
Through the bond he felt you. Your heart, your breath, your feelings- it knocked the wind out of him. The feeling of you completely engulfed him, overwhelming his senses so that all he could feel was you. His Dragon purred at the feeling, ready to lunge towards the bond again while the man was trying to steady his rapid beating heart. Following his instincts, he reached out once more-
You were in the woods, snowflakes falling from the sky elegantly. The world had turned into a beautiful winter wonderland all around. No matter how beautiful the world around him was, his eyes were fixed on you, taking in your worn appearance. Dark circles were already appearing under your eyes, body swaying ever so slightly from the lack of sleep. A frown etched on his face, trying to take a step towards you but he couldn’t move. His body frozen in place to watch your tired appearance.
A growl came from his throat, frustration growing stronger as his feet refused to move. The need to pull you close, shield you from the cold, and get you rested. You weren’t safe alone in the woods-
‘No. No. Not with him in my bag. Not while I’m trying to save Namjoon.’
Your lips didn’t move, but he heard you. As always, hearing your melodic voice say his name caused a pleasurable shiver to swim against his spine. Your eyes were focused on a figure beside him, one he hadn’t realized was there. He was too focused on your wellbeing that the rest of the world seemed to fade away.
His heart stopped.
The woman looked young with sharp features. Dressed in whites and creams, he spotted the brooch that was clipped to her cloak-
You were in danger. He had to do something, but his feet wouldn’t move. Hell, he wasn’t even there, not truly; he could see all this through the bond but in reality he was still stuck in his small Dragon form somewhere in that bag of yours. He could feel you consider the options at hand; travel alone or go with her.His heart was racing, body trying to lunge towards you. With cracked lips he tried to find his voice-
“…No.”
He sounded far away, even in his own ears. He was too weak to communicate, too weak to usher you away. But he knew you heard him, watching your pupils dilate ever so slightly. But you were stubborn, Namjoon has learned this so many times. Especially if he was involved. Your eyes flickered across the woman’s face-
“No.” He shouted, trying to engrave the word into your thick skull, voice pleading to reconsider. He couldn’t tell how far you were, but he knew you weren’t too far away. You could make it alone, without help…
Your eyes blinked, eyebrows knitting as you heard him once more, still weak. Namjoon could see the gears in your brain working, could feel you weigh your options; there was fear in traveling with a stranger and traveling alone. An image of an Orc turning into mere ash danced across your mind, reminding you of her power.
“No, please-”
He was roaring, knees falling to the ground. He couldn’t move forward. Not a single inch. Fists clenched, he hit the ground and watched as your arm linked around the woman’s, leading you further away. Further towards trouble. But his voice was ignored, nothing but a ghost of a whisper to you as you headed forward once more.
“Y/n… Please…”
Body shaking, he knew you were going to continue forward and risk your safety to get him home. Namjoon wanted to grab your hand and drag you away, far away from the woman. From the trouble he knew would come. But he was useless- too weak to move, too weak to awaken and shift into his true form.
He could only wait and hope you get to Draengon safely.
- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -
Colors exploded from all around, beautiful shades of any color imaginable could be seen. It would be overwhelming for a newcomer, but to Hyunjin this was home. Despite winter approaching and the snow pixies making their rounds across Asterios, Serentia remained as vibrant and warm as ever. As though Spring reigned eternal in that area of the land. It wasn’t common for the Fae’s area to be left out of the seasonal changes, but Hyunjin assumed the pixies were merely slacking off and taking their time with rolling out winter.
His boots clicked against the smooth stone pathway, eyes the color of night darting around and surveying the old building. It was much like a large castle, open areas that allowed people to wander from the outside to the inside with ease. Vines and natural flora decorated much of the walls, creating an enchanting look. Almost like a fairytale. But after conversing with Felix, Hyunjin felt anything but enchanting when walking through the area. His gut twisted at the thought of dirty deeds being done within it’s walls. By his own friends.
“Hyunjin!”
Blinking twice, he watched as an old Fae jogged up to him. Stylish black hair with eyes the color of diamonds, Jay stood before him wearing a silk shirt that was blood red, black trousers and boots to match. Despite the smile on his face, Hyunjin could see the trouble in his eyes.
“Jay, nice to see you.” Hyunjin smiled back.
The other Fae’s glanced around quickly, smile still in place. “Quite fine, thank you. Actually-”
“Ah, Jay, Hyunjin! Perfect timing!”
Soft pink hair, all black attire, and eyes the color of coal. Ji-Yong clasped both Fae on the shoulders, grinning. “Glad you made it back Hyunjin, I assume Yunho is with Felix?”
“Indeed he is,” Hyunjin answered, watching both Fae closely. There was an uneasiness about them, their aura off. Long was the laid back Fae he worked with, the ones who would joke easily. They were tense, eyes scanning the area every chance they got. To an outsider it wouldn’t be noticeable. But working with them for centuries, Hyunjin could read them like a book.
Something was wrong.
“The Council is ready to meet,” Ji-Yong tugged them both towards a set of double doors. “We will be discussing what happened when you left, Hyunjin.”
‘Then why not meet in the actual main room? Why meet in one of the spare rooms they had?’ On the outside he nodded his head, but on the inside he was suspicious. All matters that were important were discussed in a large room where the Council sat in rows with levels. They were the Government of Serentia afterall; leading and guiding the Fae that lived in their borders. There were many members, a few dozen, but there were the main three that were the head of it all: Ji-Yong, Seo, and Taecyeon. The trio were the leaders, guiding them to making the best decisions for Serentia.
Jay frowned however. “With all due respect sir, shouldn’t we wait for Jimin? I was under the impression he was to come to this meeting.”
Jimin had been on the Council for as long as Hyunjin and Jay had- he was there when the Humans were taken and secured away from Asterios. He would want to know what was happening. He needed to know.
“Something has changed- he couldn’t attend.” Ji-Yong’s voice was tight and absolute- he wouldn’t tell them anything else. No room for questions.
The trio opened the door, Hyunjin frowning at the small table that sat a few members in stiff wooden chairs. The only light came from the large windows. Ji-Yong gave them both a shoulder squeeze. He knew the few members that were there: Woojin, Lee Know, Yeonjun, and Mingi. He’d consider each one a close friend of his, closer than any of the others that were seated in the government of Serentia.
The doors behind them clicked shut, the lock in place. No one could go in or out. And with the magic that surrounded the walls and doors, no one could even listen to them speak.
“Let’s have a seat and discuss what happened with the Humans.”
- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -
“And then there’s my brother, a total dimwit. I swear he has no brain half the time! Thankfully the god’s gave him his good looks or he’d be truly screwed!” Siyeon’s laughter danced across the tree’s. Besides her voice and the footsteps of the two of you, it was quiet. A cold and lonely silence.
You nodded your head, feet dragging along as Siyeon spoke of her life and family. Truth be told, you were only kind of paying attention. She spoke of a place called Crystera, her father being a pain in the ass to have her travel a lot; her brother always causing problems and the golden child; and then of her sisters: how one of them was to be wed to the King of Hope’s Height, while the other was due to travel to Wynteron for small business affairs. It sounded interesting, for sure, but truth be told you were dead on your feet from so much traveling and resting hardly at all.
It had been a full day with the young woman and the pair of you managed to make it to the mountains and you hoped it meant that Dreangon was close. Never once did you open the map since Siyeon brushed it off, claiming to know the way easily. Honestly you were glad to keep your bag closed and safely tucked at your hip; Namjoon may have been hidden safely in your bag but that didn’t mean accidents don’t happen. One glance and Siyeon may easily see him. Or perhaps sense him… So far the young woman made no comment whether she could feel the Dragon amongst the two of you. And thankfully she was all talk and hardly asked questions.
When prompted where you were from, you easily said Sylverwynn and how Soojin was your mentor. You made a whole story for yourself; a poor orphaned witch who Soojin took pity on and decided to help teach you how to use magic. Siyeon was intrigued and decided that she would be your mentor as well. Her tone was cheerful, proclaiming that if you were as weak as a witch that you claimed to be then she would help you as well. One question about the burnette led to her rambling more about her life story and the topic of you was dropped.
“Gods it’s getting worse,” Siyeon sighed, dark eyes glancing up at the snow falling from the sky. Bare branches were all around, Mountains could be seen on either side of you. Arcrine was tiny, a small village that held nothing. You still gaped at the mountains around you, seeing the giant landforms with a bit of awe in your eyes. “Luckily we’re almost there!”
Her optimism was much needed; her cheery voice and endless amount of stories really kept you going. “I sure hope so.” Your voice was raspy and eyes droopy. Lack of sleep, sudden falling temperatures and lack of proper nutrients lead you to this terrible state.
Soojin had given you bitter pieces of a dried fruit called Faeturine; small, round, and pink in color, the fruit tasted terrible compared to its pretty exterior. However one berry was enough to make you feel full for the rest of the day. Something in it shrunk your appetite, and you guessed it was the taste. The Sorceress warned you that it lacked basic nutrients; it was by no means anyway a proper meal. It was meant to help you get to Dreangon quickly.
“I’d give you actual food but I fear it won’t keep with the weather- it’ll go bad far too soon. Besides, that bag isn’t meant to store food.”
You grinned a little at the memory, allowing it to take your mind off of your aching bones and ice cold feet. The clothes Soojin gave you were incredible, but Siyeon did mention that the winter Pixie’s were playing rough around this area. You didn’t question it, knowing that you’d look suspicious if you were asking about something that was common in Asterios. Another question to add to your list.
While Siyeon rambled on about her sisters, hands waving around in the air, you slid your hand into your bag carefully. Fingers brushed the small scaled head, he was feeling warmer despite the snow; you must be close to Dreangon. The contact helped ease your fears and worries, if only for a brief moment.
‘We’re almost there Namjoon,’ You thought to yourself, eyes set forward with determination. ‘You’re almost home.’
- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -
Hyunjin sat back in his chair, watching them with wariness. After discussing every event that had happened so far, the members looked equally as exhausted and fearful as him.
“Someone from the Council must be behind these things.” Ji-Yong stated after a beat of silence, hand ruffling his pink hair. “Despite all of us getting along, it seems that we have some snakes in our ranks.”
“But why now?” Lee Know cocked his head. Dark blue hair fell into his silver eyes, glancing amongst all the people around them. “What could have possibly happened to make them want to destroy everything we’ve built?”
“I don’t think it happened just now, as Hyunjin said, Felix noted diseases years ago as well as a decrease in harvest and wildlife. The forest we picked was one that was prosperous and could easily last a few millennia…” Mingi tapped his fingers on the table, the Aqua colored head fell back against the chair. “Sounds like someone has been planning this for quite some time.”
The two fire redheads nodded in agreement, Woojin speaking first. “They’ve had to plot this just right, most likely interfering with Felix’s communication with us.”
“Thankfully only a handful of members are allowed access to the portal and the communications. As of now they are all guilty.” Yeonjun crossed his arm, eyes narrowed.
“… Yeonjun. You are one of the few people allowed access to communicate with Felix.” Mingi deadpanned.
The younger Fae’s eyes widened, gold shimmering with fear. “Oh my gods, what if it was me-”
“So we start by sniffing around, looking for clues.” Lee Know ignored Yeonjun’s panicked look, his eyes on Ji-Yong and Hyunjin. “Asking innocent questions, seeing who keeps disappearing…”
“Jimin is allowed access,” Woojin frowned. “You don’t think… He wouldn’t allow these things to happen right?”
A beat of silence before Jay spoke up. “Jimin wouldn’t allow it, no. Remember, he was the one who was the most torn up about this situation. He didn’t want to leave the Humans alone out there. He feared their safety.”
“What if this is his way of trying to get them back to Asterios?” Mingi shook his head. “He’s been missing a lot these days…”
“For now we will keep an eye on him,” Ji-Yong decided. “I’ll place the two fire heads to keep an eye on him. Mingi and Lee Know will start sniffing around the council and seeing if anything has come about.” Ji-Yong turned his attention back to Hyunjin and Jay. “Hyunjin, if the time issue is no longer a problem, I’ll need you to bring Felix and Yunho back here. The Humans should be fine for a couple of days, TYunho can watch the Portal for any comings and goings of any species.” Ji-Yong looked out the window with a sigh. “The sooner we figure out who’s behind this the sooner we can put a stop to it all and keep the Humans safe in their home.”
Hyunjin knew it was more complicated than that; the environment itself was no longer suitable for the Humans. The fog was creating problems, magic was leaking everywhere… He sighed and stood up. “Then I’ll get to it. Let me know as soon as anything happens.”
He didn’t wait for a good-bye, already on the move. The sooner he gets back to Felix and Yunho means the sooner they can solve these issues. An entire race was depending on them to fix this mess. And they didn’t even know it.
- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -
The sun was low in the sky by now, the temperature dropping dangerously low. Your teeth chattered as the wind picked up, dusts of snow slapping you in the face. The cold caused physical pain, your toes having gone numb, face broken into a wind rash no matter how many times you ducked your head down. Your legs felt like stone, the snow piling up to your shin now as you tried to make it through the unforgiving landscape.
Beside you, Siyeon quietly walked and struggled as well. With the wind picking up she gave up with conversation and instead the two of you settled with the sound of the howling wind and the creaking of the tree’s. When you stumbled her hand would shoot out and grip your arm tightly, guiding you through the piles of snow and ice.
No matter how much your body begged and face burned you continued forward, all because of the warm little body in your bag. You weren’t sure if it was due to the snow or your location, but Namjoon now felt like a mini fire against your hip. You kept one hand in the bag to warm you as much as possible. You prayed to the gods that everything was going to be okay, that you would be able to bring Namjoon home-
A nudge on your shoulder and you could barely see Siyeon through the raging snow flurries. She tossed a hand to her side and you spotted a valley between the base of two mountains. It was downhill from where you were, the slope not looking too good to travel on. You knew she wanted to go down there to get out of the winter storm that raged around you, but you needed to get Namjoon home. You shook your head and tried to move forward but were stopped. Grabbing your arm she tugged you forward with a fierce determination.
One minute you were standing on two weak legs and the next you were rolling in heaps and heaps of snow.
Ice scratched against your hands face as you tried to brace yourself, snow digging into your clothes and freezing what little body heat you managed to conserve. For a few minutes you kept falling, hard spots of ice bruised your body until you landed face down in the snow.
For a brief moment you could hear nothing but the sound of your jagged breath.TThe wind wasn’t harsh down in this valley, making it easier for you to hear. And slowly the pain began to radiate throughout your body, certain areas feeling worse than others. Even the cold couldn’t numb you as you whimpered and tried to pull yourself up. Exhaustion was taken over and your body was finally winning against your stubborn mind; you had no energy left.
A giggle sounded behind you, Siyeon’s giggle, and you opened your mouth to snap at her but no words came out, only a sharp intake of breath as a hand gripped the back of your head, fingers twisting into your strands. A harsh yank had you crying out, throat swollen and soar. Siyeon continued to giggle from behind as you were yanked to your knees. Your body shook underneath your own weight.
“Good work Siyeon, I knew you’d get her here. In record time too.”
You stilled at the new voice and felt the ice form in your veins.
Siyeon wasn’t your travel partner.
She was there to deliver you to wherever she needed you to go.
- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -
Felix leaned against the tree, watching as the leaves fell in huge heaps now. Reds, golds, and oranges flooded the forest floors and the air held a crisp to it. Winter was on its way at long last and coming in a hurry. Yunho sat against the trunk, watching the Portal with high interest, eyes narrowed in thought.
“Stick for your thoughts?” Felix tossed a twig at the wizard, a small smile on his lips.
Yunho chuckled, picking the twig up and twirling it with his fingers. “Just… this magic? The one that we feel? It’s nothing I’ve felt before. I wish there was a way to bottle it up and take it back. Soojin would be of huge help.”
“She already has a lot on her plate, with the Dragon and Human situation.” Felix winced, knowing he’d get an earful later. He didn’t think he’d see the Sorceress anytime soon, however she wasn’t one to forget something like this; he’d suffer for troubling her later. Probably get turned into a frog for the next century.
“There is talk of an up and coming Sorcerer,” Yunho mused, head falling back. “Young one at that. He’s rising in the ranks at a record speed… He might be of help. Goes by the name of Jung-”
The Gateway suddenly shimmered and turned bright, both beings stood up and watched as Hyunjin came through. A smile was plastered on Felix’s face, knowing that time hasn’t changed between the two dimensions: Hyunjin wouldn’t have delayed his arrival and on the Human’s side, it had only been a few hours.
“Ah, it seems time has been restored here.” Yunho grinned happily. “That’s good news, no more missing days between us.”
“So it would seem,” Hyunjin glanced around, double checking the Forgotten Forest one more time. “Ji-Yong wishes for you two to return. We’ll discuss the Humans in Serentia as well as make a plan.”
Felix froze, eyes dancing between the two before him and the forest around him. For several centuries he lived there and did his best to keep an eye on the Humans. Monitoring them, watching young ones grow old and be replaced by a new generation… It felt odd to leave it all behind.
“Felix,” Yunho could see the gears in the Fae’s head turning, the worry that tainted his features. “It’s time to come home. Just for a moment. We’ll travel back as soon as we can. One quick meeting and we all will return.”
The fact that his friend and ally was so willing to stick by his side despite hundreds of years of silence between the two had the Fae jumping at the wizard and grinning. “You do care!”
Hyunjin cracked a smile and shook his head. “Come on you two. The sooner we get this done the sooner we can come back and actually help these people.”
The trio were all smiles as they headed to the Gateway, not even taking one last glance back at the Forgotten Forest. Not realizing that it would be the last time they saw the enchanting forest be that peaceful again.
- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -
This voice was smooth, a male voice. But not one you have heard before. You couldn’t see him, could only feel his warm hand gripping your hair painfully. You winced as his grip didn’t let up.
“Anything for my big brother!” Siyeon giggled, you could hear her footsteps walking your way and soon she stood before you. The brooch on her cloak was now glowing crimson red. “Although I did like this one, are you sure we can’t keep her?” Looking behind you, she was pouting like a child. You watched as she began tossing something in the air. It was small, it was something you’ve seen before-
Namjoon’s Dragon scale.
Catching your eye, Siyeon grinned, holding the scale between two slim fingers. “You really need to be careful who you trust, Seeker.Not everyone in Asterios is as nice as that Sorceress.”
The woman who bought the scale was connected to these two. And they had been watching you from the beginning- everyone twist and turn they watched and waited. They even knew about Soojin-
You hissed as your head was craned back even further, snow flurries almost obscuring your view but you could make out enough; the same brown hair as Siyeon and eyes. Except he held a more powerful aura around him, making your skin crawl. His eyes stared back at you with an eyebrow raised.
“I don’t think father would mind if you were to keep one… but this one? It’s damaged.” He tisked, forcing your head in every direction. “I’m sure we can find a prettier one as well-”
“But I like this one!” Her foot stomped in the snow. Her hand shot out and gripped your face making you cry out. “See, it’s just burns and bruises! I can heal her! I’ve taken care of living things before-”
The man chuckled. “I’ve seen your ‘garden’; you can’t take care of anything. Every flower has wilted into nothing. She’ll die before the week’s over.” His face came closer, inches from your own. “But before we dispose of you tell me, Human, where’s the Dragon?”
Your heart stopped. Siyeon knew. Knew all along and decided to string you along in this weather, knowing it’d make you weaker. More reliable on her and too tired to fight. In fact… Namjoon wasn’t even on your person. The bag was gone completely, no longer hanging over your shoulder. The warmth of your little Dragon was gone. You wanted that to be a good thing but instead you felt your heart sink. Namjoon was too weak to be out in the snow like this…
You stare right back at him. Your lips formed a tight line, eyes narrowed at the figure in front of you. You could buy Namjoon a moment more of life if you gave them silence, refusing to answer. It was all you could do…
He waited before sighing. “Stupid girl, if you tell me where this creature is and I will kill you painlessly. Or do you want me to drag it out until Spring?” His tone got darker, voice deep, hand gripping your head so tightly you felt something warm trickle down the back of your head. Blood. His fingernails were sharp, cutting into your skin. “I don’t have the patience for this. Give me the Dragon.”
You couldn’t speak, lips chapped and bleeding at the cracks of the skin. Your eyes shed a few tears, knowing you had failed Namjoon and didn’t get him home safely. He wasn’t going to survive these creatures, whatever they are. Your heart broke as a few more tears ran loose, stinging your cheeks.
“You choose the Dragon over your own pathetic life?” His voice raised in anger. You could hear Siyeon let out a slow whistle, tisking just like her brother did to you earlier.
‘I’m sorry… I failed you.’ You watched as the male above you snarled, your silence saying enough; you weren’t going to tell him a single thing. The blood on the back of your head trickled down his hand, the white snow behind you speckled red. His other hand reached around your forehead, gripping your head in place. Your heart raced, fear washing over you like a tsunami as every cell in your body became aware that this was how you die. Snapped neck. Body left alone in the snow.
Even away from Arcrine you were fated to die alone without anyone. Your mind danced with memories, eyes flooded with each moment that you held dear: your mother teaching you how to use herbs, Jongho showing you how to hunt, and a little Dragon perched on your lap as you read a book on the world you would die in. The last memory caused more tears to stream down your face, fearing what would happen to your Dragon. You vowed to get him home… you failed him.
You felt his arms tense, ready to end your life in a fraction of a second.
You closed your eyes.
‘I’m so sorry Joon.’
You heard the male growl and you braced yourself, ready to meet whatever the other side had to offer-
Boom!
The sound nearly ruptured your eardrums, the earth vibrating and shaking beneath you. The hands dropped from you and you fell forward, body shaking with the ground. There was no snow around you now… the air rose in temperature, your skin damp as the snow and ice melted all around. A soft cry left your lips as you hit the hard ground, wincing. There was a hot gush of wind above you… no…
You were now facing Siyeon’s brother, his sister at his side. Both of their eyes were enlarged, staring right above you, mouths open wide. You could feel something brush against your back, it was hot, solid. Your eyes slowly looked up, spotting nothing but black…
Until a flash of emerald green caught your eye as he lowered his neck.
You watched in awe as what was once your little Dragon, who was roughly the size of a house cat, was now a creature larger than a house, towering over you. You laid limply at the base of his chest, watching his claws dig into the dirt, feeling the growl deep in his throat. A growl that would have made your heart stop dead in its tracks had you not had one thought repeating like a mantra in the back of your head.
‘He’s going to be okay.’
A small smile appeared on your face as you realized this. You did it. You brought Namjoon home. He was home and regained his power. He was safe…
Slowly your vision began to blur, the roar Namjoon let out sounding muffled by your own heartbeat. The beat was slow… you were tired. There were shouts, you remember seeing Siyeon watch you with wide eyes as her brother gripped her arm before emerald green engulfed your vision and heat radiated off of you. The world around you was hazy, slowly you were losing consciousness…
Something small and hard hit your hand. Your eyesight was blurry but you could make out the small and hard scale that came from Namjoon days prior. Shaky fingers curled around the scale and clutched it like a lifeline. You could no longer feel the pain that you were in. It was as though you were gently sinking into a warm bath. The smile never left your face as you felt yourself fade into darkness.
‘He’s going to be okay.’
- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -
Snow flurries danced across his vision, the snow piling around the village in large heaps. The entire area was painted in grays and whites, void of any color. But what else was new in Arcrine? The entire village was a colorless sea of despair. And it being the dead of winter was no help; at least in the other months there was some color that could give Arcrine a bit of hope.
“Jongho, the meeting is going to take place soon.”
A soft voice, one that reminded him of honey, came from behind. His dark eyes remained fixed on the Forest before them, trying to see if he could spot any being dwelling within. But as always it was silent, empty, and the fog remained low to the ground.
It had been months… You were still gone.
Jongho allowed her to tug his arm, leading him to the main hut. A large one built for meetings where everyone would cram into the area. Well, they used to cram into the building. Deaths have been on the rise due to disease, starvation, and the winter cold. What used to be a tight fit for everyone now became a loose one; another blow to their population.
The Baker’s daughter, many who called Honey due to her personality and voice, led him to seats in the back where no one else was. A perfect place for them to listen and watch without being in the middle of any fights or arguments. Honey sat stiffly on the old stool, eyes wide and surveying the area. She never liked crowds. Jongho sat close by, arms crossed as he stared at their ‘Leader’. The old man who was fat and round, had enough food to last for weeks… it sickened him to no end. His family never once sacrificed for the people, putting themselves first.
There were lines of stools for the common people while the village Leader and his family sat on nicer chairs on a small stage at the front. Each one looked well fed, all smiles, and were chatting excitedly. The people however looked hollow. Worn from the loss of people, food, and shelter. Hopeless.
The doors slammed shut as they usually did to indicate the start of a meeting, but Jongho heard a different sound.
Click!
The sound of lock being put in place. He frowned, feeling Honey grip his shirt tightly all of a sudden.
“Jongho-”She hissed but was cut off as the leader began to speak loudly.
“My dear subjects of Arcrine, this meeting is one of extreme importance. You see, we have some special guests.” His voice always made Jongho irritate; it was nasally, snobbish. It held a sense of vanity to it as though he were better than everyone else.
As if they all weren’t suffering the same hell together.
Jongho frowned but turned to see what Honey was shaking from, only freezing as he too looked out the window. His mouth hung open as a few more villagers began gasping as well. Where the Forgotten Forest met the village were tall figures making their way to Arcrine, with what appeared to be equipment. To many it looked like tall, bulky men but Jongho knew. Honey knew. They had faced such creatures before.
pairing: scientist!Namjoon x f!reader genre(s): smut, angst, drama, mystery, slight horror au(s): based on Frankenstein word count: 460 words for the teaser warnings (teaser only): mentions minor character death rating:18+
summary:Kim Namjoon had always been a curious child, with a strong desire to understand the world. After a tragedy strikes his family Namjoon is left heartbroken. Grieving, he seeks to create a companion in the most unorthodox way. But what happens when the very life he created turns against the master whom she was supposed to love?
a/n: i’m still working on the hyung line classic lit stories! this one is quickly spiraling out of control, so I’m just sharing this to keep myself accountable bc I need to finish this damn fic. I’ve already written and deleted so much from it T_T this also very unedited
The rain pummeled against the window, striking the glass panes with such brazen force that Namjoon thought his whole studio would shudder and splinter underneath the weight of tonight’s storm. Wiping the sweat from his brow, he lets out a deep breath, one he did not even know he’d been holding for the past few years. It was done.
A crack followed his sigh, like a bone being set into place, and then a great groan, and his creation sprung to life. Namjoon stood there, paralyzed, the awe beginning to melt away, and shock and horror setting in as he took in the sight of this new being. It was a woman, and yet it was not. For every feature he’d selected, eyes, lips, nose, and everything that was beautiful in its own right, fit together in the most grotesque of ways, and instantly his heart plummets. This was no human. This was nothing worthy of his love, or the labor he’d undertaken for the past two years. The empty void that had settled in his chest after his mother’s passing grew wider and wider, and Namjoon watches all his hopes and dreams become swallowed by the gaping vortex.
A bead of sweat trickles down his neck, escaping underneath his shirt, and Namjoon turns on his heel, running out of the room.
Panicked, he closes the door behind him, rushing across the hall to his own bed, drawing the scratchy covers over his head. His eyes flutter, willing for sleep to claim his restless frame, but it never comes. Instead, he lies awake, the pounding of his heart melding with the ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner, creating a haunting rhythm to represent the doom that has begun to loom over the house.
A loud crack jolts Namjoon awake from his miserable sleep - the lightning illuminating the room in a silvery glow, and there, at the foot of his bed -– the figure of the being he’d created! Round eyes, if they could even be called so, staring at him curiously, like a lost child. Mouth moving as though it was trying to speak, but no sounds escaped.
Namjoon softens at the sight of the poor creature, looking lost and confused. He reaches out towards it, hands shaking, and nearly jumps when he feels two leathery palms take his hand in between them. His heart thrums at the gentle display, amazed at how soft-natured the creature was, despite its extraordinary appearance.
Tightening his hand in the creature’s, he realizes that he cannot give up now. This dream, this vision, it must be worth something. For the beauty of creation lied not in the dazzling appearance of things themselves, but their ability to provide hope.
Genre/Au’s: Rom-Com, fluff with bits of angst - Coworkers!AU; enemies to lovers; Journalist!AU
Paring: RM x Reader
Words count:4.629
Rating:18+
Warnings: Cursing; Mentions of a car accident.
Tigering: Mentions of blood; Mentions of surgery; Mentions of a bad fracture.
Synopsis: After graduating your dream was to become a journalist and work to one of the biggest magazines in the country. But that pretty dream does not translate perfectly to reality. The magazine is on verge of bankruptcy, great journalists are moving the rival magazines and not being replaced, your boss is a jerk who doesn’t even know your name. Fate seems to be toying you around to its own pleasure, can you take control of your life and achieve your dreams, or you are going to be carried away by fate’s plans?
Author note: This fanfic follows the world of the Brazilian production Procura-se um marido series. I do not own the series or original content.
You stare at the crack in the wall behind Julia’s desk while playing with a paperclip. Why are Fridays always endless? Looks like the closer the weekend gets, the less the clock works. And you can’t wait to get rid of the claustrophobic feeling that dominates you. It is almost three in the afternoon, and you still haven’t turned in the zodiac. Last night, you had barely managed to stop sobbing as you told the recent events between you and Namjoon to Sabrina, let alone make that hateful work.
You even thought that Namjoon would hang you as soon as he found out you still hadn’t sent the zodiac yet, and there are only two hours left until the end of the expedient, but he doesn’t seem to have realized it. In the few times you worked up the courage to spy on him, he seemed distant and distracted.
And there you were, just as distracted as he, staring at nothing, a text file open and still blank. Ella left her desk and came to sit on the edge of yours. She starts questioning you about the day before.
“I wasn’t feeling well,” You explain weakly. “Namjoon accompanied me. We live close by.”
“If you weren’t well, why didn’t he take you to a hospital?” She arches her delicate eyebrows.
“It was just a passing discomfort.“
"Hm, I know.”
“Ella, if you take a good look at the way Namjoon treats me, you’ll realize that he hates me.”
She laughs. “Oh, Y/n, you’re so naive…”
You blushed, annoyed. You are tired of being treated like a child by everyone. But before you could take out your frustration on Ella, your phone rings.
“Y/n, hi. It’s Jessy. How are you, honey?”
“Oh… H-hi.” You look at Namjoon’s office. He is engrossed in something in the wall. You cast a quick glance at Ella and mutter through your lips, covering the mouthpiece of the phone: “It’s my grandmother.”
She raises an eyebrow but leaves you alone and goes mind her own business.
“Can we have lunch on Tuesday?” Jessy asked.
Oh my God. You shouldn’t be seen with Jessy, especially now that Hani had moved over to her side. Namjoon would know about your secret work in a microsecond. Although maybe that wouldn’t be bad. You mean, maybe Jessy might want to offer you a real job, one that pays the bills and makes you happy.
“We received very good feedback from your first article, and that pleased the owners,” she says excitedly. "I want to make you an irrefutable offer! I know you will be very pleased. I call letting you know which restaurant we meet. Until later.”
You stare at your phone like it was a glittering gem. A proposal. One where you can finally become the journalist you have always dreamed of being. And considering recent events, it wouldn’t be a bad thing to stay away from Namjoon. You don’t want to be around when Alexia walks back down the magazine. Worse still, when Delilah shows up there, telling everyone that it was because of me that she and her beloved Namjoon ended up together.
You phone rings again. You don’t recognize the number.
“Hello?”
“MS. Y/l/n?” asks the unfamiliar male voice.
“It is me.”
“This is Lieutenant Samuel. I found your contact in the docs of your brother.”
“Oh my God.” You take a deep breath. “What did Hoseok do now?”
“I’m sorry, miss. He had an accident. Was brought to the hospital and…“
Then everything becomes a meaningless hum. The room is blurred, the beating of your heart drowns out all the sounds around you. The phone falls off your hand. Someone starts screaming. And after many hands try to grab you. You realize it is you. Colored spots dance on your eyes. Your brother’s face, with its smirk, flicker between them.
"She’s turning gray. I think you’re going to faint!” Someone says.
“Then don’t just stand there, do something!”
“Y/n!” Namjoon’s voice calls. “What’s it? Y/n, are you okay?” You think you are being shaken. “What happened? Did anyone see what happened?”
“I don’t know, Namjoon. She was on the phone, then she started screaming.“
"What phone… Hello? Who…? Oh my God. How is he? At where? Everything is fine, thanks for letting me know, Lieutenant.”
You brother is in the hospital. You brother has been in an accident. Is unconscious in an operating room. They don’t know the extent of the injuries. You should be prepared, the lieutenant warned.
“I think she’s in shock!”
“Y/n, my angel, can you hear me? Blink if you’re understanding.”
With some effort, you blink.
Someone strokes your cheek.
“Don’t Cry. Please, my angel, don’t be like this. Hoseok will be fine. Are you listening to me? Your brother is undergoing surgery now, he will be fine. You’ll get out of this… Someone bring some water. And get the fuck off her!”
“Wouldn’t it be better to call a doctor?” someone suggests.
“I’ve heard that slapping someone in shock will do the trick.“
"Ella, shut up!” yells Namjoon, but his voice turns sweet when, squeezing you numb hand, he says, “I’ll take you home.”
That works better than Ella’s slap would have.
“N-no!“ You manage to mutter, blinking back the veil of tears that cover you blind. "I want to see Hoseok. I need to see my brother. I need to stay with him and…”
Oh my God, you can’t lose him!
“Hey! Calm.” Namjoon is drawing circles on you shoulder. “I’ll take you. Here, drinks some water. You are very pale.”
Drawing strength from the calm that Namjoon deliberately offers you, you manage to wrap your fingers in the plastic cup he is holding and take a few sips. The water tastes bitter.
“No, don’t cry.” Strong arms wrap around you, sweet lips touch your forehead. “Please, Y/n. Don’t lose hope. Your brother will want to see you well when he recovers.”
You lift your head and finally manage to see something. The face next to yours is writhing in anguish.
“Will he?” You mutter in a thin voice.
“Of course, he will! Hoseok is young and strong, and if he has half of your stubbornness, won’t let a simple accident finish him off.”
You nod, eyes locked with his. “He is stubborn. Enough,” you say.
"You see!” A slow caress, which starts at your temple and ends on your chin, takes away some of the chill that makes you shiver. “Have faith, my angel.”
You nod once more, sniffling and wiping your face with the back of your hands. You square your shoulders, trying to look strong. Inside you are torn apart.
“That’s the brave girl I know. Think you can stand?“
You can’t, but you do, thanks to Namjoon, who supports most of your weight as he puta an arm around your waist. He takes you to the garage and settle you in the passenger seat of your car. Namjoon starts and has a difficult time getting the car to move. Half numb, you explain the vehicle’s quirks and keeps quiet throughout the journey.
You are more in control when you entered the hospital, mainly because Namjoon hugs you again. The aseptic and white environment makes you nervous and, when you reached the third floor and enter the crowded waiting room, you see Lorena, the beautiful woman, always impeccably groomed, with disheveled wavy redhead and heart-shaped face, with puffy eyes from crying so much then, all your despair comes back, and you just don’t fall because Namjoon is still supporting you.
"Oh, Y/n!” She cries and hugs you. You falter and Namjoon hold you two up. “Hoseok… He… Oh, my God!”
“What happened?” You ask, being led to one of the armchairs.
Namjoon settles you next to Lorena, squeezing your shoulder in a gesture of comforting and hopeful.
“Hoseok was in his car, waiting for the light to open,” she said, torn apart. “A bus coming behind could not stop. The car was launched forward and stopped on the avenue just as a van was crossing. It hit the passenger side. The car is destroyed. They brought Hoseok here unconscious, and the police officer said there was blood everywhere!” she moans, covering face with her hands.
You swallow hard.
“He had an exposed fracture in one of his legs,” she goes on. “They don’t know about internal damage. That’s all I know so far.”
“Someone has to tell us something,” You object, half rising to your feet staggering, but Namjoon stops you.
“They will.“ And kindly makes you sit down again. ”- As soon as they have something to tell.“
You understand the logic he uses, and it makes sense. Ultimately, the lack of news should be a good sign. You look at him and nod once. Namjoon lets two fingers run down your cheek, before leaning back against the wall next to the window, crossing his arms behind his back as the other chairs are busy.
The time is slow to pass. Lorena, a few weeks pregnant, clings to a rosary and recites the prayers in a fervent whisper, eyes narrowed, as if she uses all her strength to communicate with God. Namjoon stays where he was, looking at you, supporting you and trying to keep you calm with his presence.
At one point, he walks up to reception and speaks quietly to the attendant. She nods once and reaches for the phone. a short nurse appears and goes straight to talk to Namjoon. The woman frowns upon hearing what he says and looks at you once, then nods and disappears. Instead of going back close to you, Namjoon just nods and heads for the corridor through which you had arrived. You jump out of your chair at the same
moment, going after him.
"Don’t go away, please!” - You beg in terror, reaching him before he can get to the elevators, because at that moment, you can’t bear that he will leave you. “I need you… No… don’t go away.“
Namjoon studies you face with something gleaming in his brown eyes. “I’m just going to the blood bank. Your brother must have needed a transfusion. Inventories are never high. I will try to help.” He opens his arms, kind of awkward.
You stare at him with a heart full of gratitude. “I will go too.”
“No, no! Stay here. She need’s you.” He points to the room where sister-in-law is.
Yes, Lorena needs you, but you need him.
“Will you return?” You want to know. And your voice is so small that is reminiscent of a child.
In a whisper that you could have sworn is from a man in love, he says: “I would never leave you.“ A small smile plays on his lips.
You nod and watch him leave, clinging to his promise to come back. You return to the unnervingly white waiting room and throw yourself into the chair beside Lorena, reaching out for her hand. She lifts her head, the puffy eyes, the quivering lip, the anguish stamped on every feature of his face.
"Thanks.” She sobs.
You pull her onto your shoulder and let her cry, trying to keep the tears under control. The short nurse, the one who had spoken to Namjoon earlier, appears with a tray in her hands and some plastic cups on top of it. Your heartbeat fast, in anticipation of what might come out of that woman’s mouth. However, what she says takes you by surprise.
“Your boyfriend told me what’s going on. Take this, honey.“ And she hands you a disposable cup, the kind of coffee, containing a white pill. ”-You will feel better.“
"What is it?”
“Just a muscle relaxant, don’t worry. I can’t do anything for you, lady.“ - She addresses Lorena with compassion. "Because of the pregnancy. I am really sorry. You can be sure that we will do what we can for your husband to be fine.” She hands her a glass of water.
You don’t want to take that relaxer, but the fact that Namjoon had the work of reaching out to her in an attempt to make you feel better somehow warms your heart. He wants to dope you, and that is more than any person had already done for you. You swallow the pill without any complaint.
“What am I going to do if he leaves me?” Lorena sobs when the nurse walks away.
“Hoseok will be fine, Lorena. I know he will.”
“How can you be so sure?” She lifts her head to look at your face.
“Because Namjoon said so".
“And does Namjoon have some supernatural power I don’t know about?”
“No. But he would never lie to me about something so serious.“ At the most inopportune moment, the conversation between Delilah and Namjoon in your grandmother’s house comes back to your mind.
“Are you two…?” she asks.
"Friends… most of the time,” he had replied regretfully.
Why would he feel sad about being my friend? And why didn’t he tell her that you were more than friends?
Oh wait, he did! Not exactly that you were lovers, but he said something that made it clear that somehow you are important to him.
“She's…too precious to me.”
Too precious for me.
Your eyes widen as realization washes over you.
Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
What did you do?
The surgeon, in mint green hospital gown splattered with blood, walks out of the double doors pulling off the disposable cap. Namjoon still isn’t back from the blood bank. Lorena and you get up, clinging to each other.
After introducing himself as Dr. Cesar and make sure that you are Hoseok’s family members, he says: “The surgery is over, Hoseok is stable. We reconstructed the tibia. He had three fractured ribs, but there was no perforation in any internal organ. There is a concussion to the skull, so he will remain under observation. But he It is going to be okay.”
You nearly sink to the ground at the news. The wave of relief is so intense that your limbs seem to have disconnected from each other. Hoseok will be fine, exactly as Namjoon had promised. Thank God!
“Can we see him?” Lorena asks, squeezing your hand.
“As soon as he goes to his room.“
Lorena releases you and, to the surgeon’s surprise, hugs him around the waist and starts sort of laughing and crying at the same time, uttering a selection of indistinct thanks.
Half an hour later, Lorena and you are led by a middle-aged nurse through the hallway that leads to the patients’ rooms.
“He’s still a little groggy. Try not to make him anxious and talk short. It is common to become disoriented after anesthesia.”
She opens the door carefully, letting you through. Lorena takes your hand, you don’t know if to give you some support or if she is looking for support for herself, it doesn’t matter. It is good to have her by your side at that moment. There is the man you both love madly.
You enter together. The dim lights left the environment devoid of rather dreary furniture, there is only one uncomfortable-looking armchair and a metal table with two chairs, in addition to the hospital bed. But it is the man lying in bed that makes your heart stop. There are bandages all over his body: his entire left side is destroyed. The head, chin, hand, and forearm. The leg is uncovered, a tangle of metal rods protruding of the orange painted calf, forming a cage around the meat.
Hoseok moves his head on the pillow. Purple half-moons lined under his eyes.
“Hi,” he says on a weak sigh.
“Oh, Hoseok.” You approach and strokes his forehead, avoiding the bandage on his temple. “You nearly scared me to death! You better never suffer another accident. I forbid you.”
The dry lips, full of tiny cracks, stretches slightly. “If you start crying now, I’m going to throw up.“
Lorena sobs loudly. She tries valiantly to fight back tears, but she can’t. Your brother bowed his head. You walk away a little to facilitate.
“Babe…” He sighs. It is almost a prayer, and it makes you smile. Hoseok admires her for a long time, as if he is absorbing it to keep it in his heart. "Lorena, you will marry me.”
She lets out a childish giggle. “Is that a request or an order?”
Your brother frowns. “Order, I think…?”
“Oh, Hoseok!” She follows him, stopping beside the bed and leaning over to kiss him with all the care in the world.
Hoseok groans, in a mixture of pain, relief and happiness. Despite the nurse’s recommendations, Lorena and you start asking questions, and a little confused, he answers them patiently. Lorena strokes his forehead in a steady, careful rhythm as you keep your fingers around his healthy hand. At some point, he stops what he is saying and simply he stares at his girlfriend, his eyes full of tenderness and wonder.
You think that, after the scare, Hoseok has found the answers he was looking for.
“Well, you guys have a lot to talk about,” you say, heading for the door. “I’ll look for Namjoon and we’ll be back in a bit.”
“He is here?” You brother asks.
“Yes, he was the one who brought me. I’ll be right back.“
"OK.” He looks away from his bride-to-be for a second and smiles at you. One of his incisors is chipped at the tip. “Just… don’t take long.“
You go to the waiting room at the end of the hall and sits down. Ten minutes then Namjoon appears. You throw yourself on him as soon as you sew him, burying your head on his chest, and starts talking about Hoseok’s condition.
“I just came here to get you. Come!” But he takes you by the shoulders and stops.
“Before I think I should eat something.”
“Yeah, you should eat after you donated blood,” You agree.
“I meant you, Y/n,” he explains in a whisper. “You are very pale. I would be more relaxed if you would at least have a coffee… with milk. With plenty of sugar, as you like.” Then the let go of you and shove his hands in his pockets.
A half-smile tugs at your lips. You never told Namjoon that you like very sweet coffee with milk. He knows this by watching you in the kitchen
of Just-facts? That attention makes your heart pound. He is taking care of you, worried about you. Because you are too precious to him.
You finally understand that he hasn’t lied to Delilah. He would never lie about something so serious, even if in a conversation with a stranger. He is that kind of man, of few words, but he does good use of them. He might not want you to be his, as he’d made clear on Saturday, but he cares about you. It is enough for you to want him close.
“Okay, let’s eat,” you agree.
His gentle hand touches your elbow, and he guides you to the cafeteria on the second floor. The place is small and less scary, with subtle colors in the tables and chairs, and a range of colors in packages of all kinds of goodies on the wall behind the counter. Namjoon orders two cheese buns, two waters and a latte. Once you are seated at a table by the window, he pushed the plate towards you, then adds three sachets of sugar to your latte and stirs it before handing it to you.
“Namjoon, thank you. For everything. For bringing me here, for donating blood for…“
“Don’t thank me, please.” He cuts you off, shaking his head. “I didn’t do anything expecting gratitude.”
“But you’ll get it even if you don’t want to. I will never forget what you did for me.”
He flashes a shy smile. “I wish I could offer you happier memories, then. Now please eat.“
You eat. The two buns in less than two minutes. Namjoon’s phone rings as you gulp down the latte.
"What is it, Ademir? Oh… fuck, I forgot.” He looks at his watch and rubs his forehead. “No, I know. I’ll see what can be done. Nothing runs yet. I’ll call you shortly.” And hangs up.
“Problems?”
“No… it’s just… a hole in the week’s issue.“ He averts his eyes, looking embarrassed, and that’s what gives you the hint.
Your zodiac.
“Oh, damn it, Namjoon! I totally forgot.” You leave the cup and reach for the bag on the back of the chair, pulling out your phone.
“Don’t worry about it now, Y/n. I’m going to fix it.“
"No! I should have handed in the zodiac by now, but… ”- there were so many things this week that I didn’t have the head to write anything. not that it is an excuse. You rummage through the bag until you find the deck. “But I do now, if you give me ten minutes.”
“What? In here?” He widens his eyes.
“I’m not leaving my brother’s side. So, I’m kind of out of options…” You look around, as if you were being watched. “Uh… don’t tell my grandmother that I will do this in a public place. She will kill me if she knows.”
He shakes his head uneasily. “Y/n, seriously, you don’t have to …”
“Yes, I do.” You interrupt him. “I’m professional. I fulfill my obligations… Sometimes with a little delay, but still. Will only take a few minutes.”
You shuffle the cards, thinking about the sign of Aries, opens the notes on your phone and starts typing. That one would definitely not be your best text, but at least you have something to present to the boss. following you keep shuffling, making your interpretations as the drawings that appear, unaware of Namjoon’s watchful gaze on you. When you finish, he looks at you with a twinkle in his eye.
“Tarot reader Liz, would you be so kind as to read my fortunes?” he asks, with a shy smile. “I tried it a few days ago, but a crazy woman didn’t allow it.“
“Don’t joke, Namjoon.”
“I am not kidding.” And from the look of his serious face, he isn’t. “I want you to read my fortune. Everyone says you’re good. I want to know how good.”
You are too grateful to refuse him anything at that moment. And he knows it. Grimacing, you hand him the cards.
“The risk is yours. I’m a charlatan. Shuffle them thinking about what you want to know.”
“Yes ma'am.” He closes his eyes as he shuffles.
“Now cut.”
He does as you ask before handing you the cards. You pick three of them.
“Look,” You begin cautiously. “I’ve never done this before, not even for Sabrina, and she’s already burned my patience to do it. So maybe what I say has nothing to do with your question. The interpretation is mine, but also yours I think.”
“Get straight to the point. What does it say?” He approaches, watching carefully the back of the cards.
You turn the cards a little apprehensively. You frown as you study the drawings. “Hmm… That’s good, I think. The mountain, the stars, and the sky,” you say, pointing to each image. “The mountain represents the challenges, and the stars are sources of light, so we can assume that the challenges will be trespassed with some ease. Heaven is…”
“There’s a dog in the card.“ He points, brow furrowed.
"I know. But it’s the card is the heaven. It symbolizes constancy, fidelity. So, your answer would be something like… the challenges will be overcome with someone very loyal by your side. Does it make any sense?”
“That’s not the reading that Liz would do.” He shows you that smile with the adorable dimples.
“Oh, is that what you want?“ You cleared your throat, folding your hands on the table. "Troubles in sight, but relax, you’ll get out of it easy, easy, with a little help from someone who is crazy about you. Is that good?”
He is serious, his eyes fixed on yours. “Much better. And thank you. I hope the cards are right. It’s good being able to count with someone in a bad moment.”
“My grandmother says cards never lie, but I’m not a real Romani, right? Can’t believe what I say.“ You gather the mess on the table and put everything back in your bag, then save the note with the zodiac and send it to Namjoon. "Done. It’s already in your mailbox. If you can, please correct it before sending it to the printer.”
“Always do this. I…” He takes a deep breath, looking down at your empty plate.
“You have to go,” You complete sadly.
"But I’ll be back,” he hurriedly, glaring at you. “As soon as everything is in order on the magazine.”
He gets up and you do the same. “Namjoon, I…”
You want to say so much to him. That you have understood that you finally understood, but he doesn’t seem too keen to talk to you about the subject. At least that’s what it looks like, as he averts his eyes and sticks his hands in his pockets. Your courage disappears.
“Thanks again,” You end up saying.
“Forget it. I really need to go to the magazine, or there won’t be time to run the edition. If you need anything, you know where to find me. I will be back later.”
He hesitates, and you get the impression he wants to go over and kiss you. But Namjoon does none of it. He just watches you for a moment and is gone. You stay watching his back until he disappears from view. You want to run after him and dump everything that is in your heart right there in a hospital corridor. Instead, like the coward that you are, you take your phone, open a new email, type just two words and sent it to him. Before you can change your mind, you press send and head for the third floor.
Ⓒ 2022 Sugarushsuga, do not copy, translate or repost.
Genre: fluff? | enemies to friends to lovers au | college au
Pairing: Namjoon x Reader
Warnings: my bad writing and my bad drawing,,, | English is not my first language
Summary: you’re starting your first year of college and you’ve never had a boyfriend before. Your brother Jungkook finds three love letters you wrote to your childhood (Jimin), middle school (Namjoon) and high school (Jin) crushes and sends them out. Little did he know all of them were attending the same college as you.
Love. Was there something better than love? You honestly didn’t think so. The idea of loving someone and being loved in return was the source of your inner and more secret desires. Holding hands, whispering sweet nothings to each other, hugging and kissing, sharing a lifetime with your soulmate was all your heart had ever desired. Love was everything to you and, as a famous poet once said, love was so powerful it could move the sun and all the other stars. Love was the essence of the Universe.
‘In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.’
You giggled again, tugging the book you were reading closer to your face. No matter how many times you had read that same passage, your heart still fluttered every time your eyes landed on it. You had underlined that exact passage so many times that the page was now slightly worn out. How many times had you wished to receive those words? You sighed, rereading the passage once again. In truth, you knew that passage by heart.
“Please, don’t tell me you’re reading Pride and Prejudiceagain?”
The voice of your brother startled you and you snapped out of your intense daydreaming. You closed your book and glared at him. “Get out,” you snarled at him.
Jungkook rolled his eyes and, uninvited, sat on your bed. “I will never understand how obsessed you can be with this Mr. Darky.”
“It’s Mr. Darcy!”
He shrugged, “whatever.” He then looked around your room and slowly whistled, “this is an A* mess. Weren’t you supposed to clean and pack everything up like…” he looked at his watch and then said, “fifteen minutes ago?”
You groaned, “I got distracted.”
“Well, I’m sure Mr. Dumpy-“
“Mr. Darcy!”
“-won’t mind if you actually start cleaning this mess,” Jungkook finished, shoving you aside with his foot.
You huffed and much to your annoyance, you knew that your baby brother was right. So you got up, but not without gently putting down your favourite book, and started shoving your clothes inside some random box.
“God, Y/N, why do you have to be so messy,” Jungkook groaned.
You rolled your eyes at him because, seriously, why did he have to act like the big brother here? But again, he was right.
“Why are you here anyway?” you asked while this time properly folding the clothes you decided to donate.
“I finished with my boxes half an hour ago,” he said with a grin, “and I had some spare time to use before Taehyung and Jimin arrive.”
At the mention of Jimin’s name, you could not help but blush furiously. You really hoped your ears weren’t as red as you thought. And yes, you might have had a slight crush on your childhood friend, Jimin.
“Jimin is coming as well?” you asked trying to sound nonchalant. Lucky for you, your brother wasn’t exactly quick when it came to matters of the heart.
Jungkook hummed, “yeah, I thought it would be nice since you guys are practically moving in together.”
You shrieked, “we are not moving in together!”
“Relax, Y/N,” your brother said, eyeing you like you just turned into a madwoman, “seriously, what’s up with you?”
How could you tell your younger brother that you have had a crush for your mutual childhood friend since the age of 10 and now that you and said friend were both moving to the same college you didn’t know how to keep your crush at bay? You couldn’t. Truth be told, you didn’t know how to act around Jimin without your brother and Taehyung being there as well. You were too scared that the boy would have found out.
“I’m sorry, Kookie. I’m just stressed with this whole college business,” you said, plopping carelessly on your small puffy chair.
Jungkook nodded, “it’s the end of an era.”
You didn’t mean to, but you started crying. You had tried so hard to not think about that for the whole summer and hearing your brother, who also happened to be one of your best friends, saying what you strongly tried to ignore was like a punch in the guts.
But it was the end of an era. You and Jimin were going off to college, leaving Jungkook and Taehyung behind. Your group, once inseparable, was splitting. No more movie nights, no more gaming, no more spending your days at the park chasing the ducks, eating ice cream together. You weren’t ready to say goodbye to all of that, to the best memories of your life. You weren’t ready to close the happiest chapter of your life. And certainly, you weren’t ready to embark into a more obscure, unsure and lonely chapter where your brother’s bunny smile wasn’t there to comfort you and Taehyung’s laugh wasn’t there to accompany you in the journey.
“No, Y/N, don’t cry,” Jungkook said moving closer to you.
You sniffled, “I’m not crying.”
Jungkook ruffled your hair, “sure you’re not.”
“I will miss the gang, you know,” you mumbled, deeply appreciating your brother’s efforts to comfort you. “It has always been the four of us and now we are going to split up.”
“It’s still gonna be the four of us,” Jungkook said with a soft smile and, seriously, when did he grow up so much? Where was your little brother?
“College doesn’t have to scare you this much, Y/N. It’s okay if you and Jimin will get new friends, our gang will just grow a little,” he said, patting your head lightly. You smiled at him, truly grateful for having him by your side when you needed him the most.
“Besides,” Jungkook said with a sly grin, “maybe you’ll manage to finally find a boyfriend.”
You groaned and pushed him away. “You are awful,” you said getting up from the bed. Jungkook laughed, showing you his signature bunny smile.
“Who knows? Maybe you’ll find your real life Mr. Dampy-”
“It’s Mr. Darcy!”
Jungkook shrugged again, “but seriously, how come someone as romantic as you never had a boyfriend?”
You arched an eyebrow, not quite sure why your little brother was suddenly curious about your love life. For a brief moment you were scared that your not-so-oblivious brother had caught up with your little crush and panic started clawing at your ribcage. You decided that the best tactic was to play dumb and play low, trying to be very careful not to spill any valuable information.
“It is a bit hard for a girl to find a boyfriend when she is surrounded by three very possessive boys,” you told him with an eye-roll.
Your brother chuckled, “okay, point taken.”
You snorted. Then, you started sorting out your clothes again, trying to decide what to bring with you to college and what to donate instead.
“But seriously, no one had ever caught your eyes?”
“Why are you so curious all of a sudden?”
Jungkook looked embarrassed and judging by his ears turning red, you knew that something was up.
“Kookie?” You sounded like you were about to tackle him to the ground to spill everything out of him. To be honest, you weren’t that opposed to the idea.
“Look,” he started, “it’s just that me and the boys are worried about you.” When you didn’t say anything, Jungkook groaned. “You’re always so happy whenever you think about love, we don’t want you to get hurt. Which is why Jimin is being appointed as your guardian.”
“What?!” you shrieked. You could feel all your blood draining inside of your body. Surely, he had to be joking. How were you supposed to forget about your crush for Jimin when he was going to be there every time you tried to talk to a boy?
“It was Tae’s idea,” he said, raising his hands in front of you. “Jimin agreed immediately and, honestly, I think you do need to be supervised.” He then noticed your face becoming painfully red and tried to placate your rising anger, “we just want you to have a good first love experience.”
You groaned, throwing a pillow at him. “And then you have the audacity of asking me why I never had a boyfriend! It’s because of you three.”
Jungkook had the decency of looking guilty, “I’m sorry, sis. We didn’t mean to ruin anything.”
You sighed, “do you realise I am the bigger sibling here, right? You don’t need to protect me, Kookie.”
Jungkook looked at his feet and muttered a quiet: “I just want you to fall in love with someone good.”
You tried to stay mad at him but, to be honest, you couldn’t. You know that your brother always had the best intentions and, if it meant you being happy, he would always try his best to work out a way to make that happen. Sometimes his plans had backfired, but his heart had always been in the right place. And that was Jungkook, always going the extra mile to help the people he loved and always trying harder whenever he failed. Truthfully, you loved him for that.
“You know I’m not really into that love thing,” you said, for the first time being truly honest with your brother. His head shot up immediately and the look on his face would have been hilarious if the situation hadn’t turned this dense.
“What? But you always read romance and dream about Mr. Darky-”
“Mr. Darcy!”
“-and you always talk about your wedding day. So, you’re telling me you don’t really like those things?”
You sighed and rubbed your eyes, “I do. But reality is different from fiction, Kookie. In the real world, there is no Mr. Darcy waiting for me and the thought of having a relationship is scary because I’m afraid I will be disappointed.”
You had never been so honest with someone before. You felt vulnerable and hoped that your brother wouldn’t want to carry on this conversation. Your heart ached enough already without the painful realisation that all your books and movies ever did was to make your expectations insanely high. Truth was, you were in love with the idea of love, but it was the kind of love that you could find in a book. Often, real life tended to disappoint you and if there was something that you cherished enough to not get it ruined by it, it was definitely love.
Before Kookie could say anything, your doorbell rang, and you took it as an excuse to exit the conversation. It was a coward move, you knew it, but your heart was feeling too raw for bravery. So, you ran downstairs to answer the door, leaving a sad but determined Jungkook behind.
***
“Is everything ready, Y/N?” Jimin asked.
You tried to not stare at him too much. Seriously, how were you going to survive college alone with him? You felt like dying. Like digging your own hole and bury yourself there without ever leaving it again.
“Yeah, it is. I have few boxes I want to donate first but aside from that I am good to go,” you answered.
Tae cooed, “aww, our baby Y/N is finally growing up.”
You shot him a deadly glare, “I’m the eldest! Show some respect.”
“Ah, I’m sorry,” said Tae with a grin, “old lady.”
You wondered if it was socially accepted to murder a friend for being called old. You supposed not, but maybe if no one found out…
“Alright, children! I’m done.” Jungkook had just entered your house with a big grin on his face. Ever since he started working out, he became quite the show off, and what better opportunity to prove everyone his bulky figure than carrying all your boxed in your car? You weren’t complaining.
“Good job, Hercules,” you said, “now let’s go or we will be late.”
“Ah, you guys go ahead,” Jungkook said.
You looked at him confused, “Kookie? Is everything alright?”
Your brother nodded and smiled at you. “Yeah, me and Tae have something to do first.”
“We do?” said a puzzled Tae. Jungkook shot him a deadly glare, so he coughed and said, “ah, yes we do. Very important indeed.”
You narrowed your eyes at them. They were definitely being suspicious, and you did not trust the knowing look that passed between them, but before you could question them, Jimin called your name and the fear of being late overcame your curiosity.
_
“So, how is it going?”
You rolled on your back, resting your phone in between your ear and shoulder while packing your books in the bag. “It’s been alright, I guess. I met a guy, Yoongi, on the first day and now we pretty much always go to lectures together.”
Jungkook hummed over the phone, “nothing else?”
You frowned, holding the phone with your hand. “You’re being weird.”
You heard your brother nervously chuckle from the other end of the phone and if you weren’t sure before that something was up, you definitely were now. You decided that you would investigate later considering that you were done for the day and all you wanted to do was go back to your room and have a nap.
“Have you seen Jimin much?” he asked you.
You sighed, “not much. I guess we’ve both been very busy. It has only been two weeks since we started.”
Your conversation carried on for a little longer and when it came to say goodbye to your brother you felt a pinch of nostalgia hitting you, wishing that both him and Taehyung could be there with you. You weren’t being completely honest with him about Jimin, but you were not ready yet to tell him that you had been trying to avoid since you arrived there. You were scared that being alone with Jimin would cause your feelings to resurface and potentially ruin your friendship.
“Y/N? Is that you?”
You were snapped back to reality by a guy approaching you. You stopped in the middle of the courtyard and blinked once, then you blinked again. Was that really…?
“Kim Seokjin?” you asked, not quite believing that the guy you had liked for awhile in High School was also attending your same college. Seriously, how small was the world?
Seokjin smiled at you, “I almost didn’t recognise you. You know, with the glasses and all,” he said waving at you.
You smiled, and you were quite sure you were blushing a bit. You had not seen Seokjin in months, and even before then you two weren’t exactly friends. Although Seokjin had always being very nice and charming to you, helping you out during Maths and always offering you a cookie whenever you had a bad day. Your crush for him had not been anything serious, you supposed. It had probably been the result of his caring attention and the fact that you had always wanted to believe in love so much that you portrayed your fantasies on the first handsome guy who so much looked at you.
You two started a conversation, catching up on each other’s life, on college. It was so easy to talk to him, especially now without your constant blushing and stammering. Jin made you promise to study together one of these days and, although your heart did not thump harder and no butterfly woke up in your stomach, you were happy. Perhaps this was the beginning of a nice friendship.
_
“I cannot believe that you really showed up hangover on your very first day,” you said to Yoongi, who in turn simply shrugged and took a bite of his sandwich.
“Surely is not that unreasonable?”
“Jimin! Don’t encourage him, please.”
You were sitting in the courtyard, technically studying with Jimin, Yoongi and Jin but practically you were all enjoying the sun and getting distracted. It was strange to be again in a group of four where your brother and Taehyung were missing, but Yoongi and Jin were slowly becoming good friends. It has been Jimin’s idea to study all together, he had suggested several times that although the gang would always be the gang, perhaps it was time for you two to expand your friendship group. So, you agreed and offered to ask Yoongi and Jin to come along while Jimin asked a friend of his, Hoseok, to join as well.
“Hello, you must all be the friends Jimin was telling me about.”
You turned around to look at the guy you could only assume to be Jung Hoseok and smiled at him. But before you could say yes, Yoongi mumbled something along the lines of “not sure we can say friends” but you elbowed him slightly and made room for Hoseok who, credit to him, did not lose his sunny smile after hearing Yoongi’s word.
“We are. Nice to meet you, I’m Y/N and Mr. grumpy here is Yoongi.”
And so, your life started taking an unexpected but utterly pleasant turn. You were making friends, you were happy, and there was no talking of love and relationship. All was well.
_
You were late. Terribly, unmistakably, and horribly late. You knew you should have not run in the hallways, but seriously what other choice did you have? Later on, when you would think of this exact moment, you will agree that arriving late for a lecture would have been a much better option than running straight into someone. And not just a random someone, no. Because life could not be kind to you, so the Universe had decided that the person you would knock over on the floor was no one else than your Middle School crush, Kim Namjoon himself, the pain of your existence and your fiercest rival. And of course, he attended your same college, how silly of you to think otherwise.
“Oh no no no, I’m so sorry,” you said while helping him collect his belongings. You didn’t know what to panic for: still being late for your lectures or encountering your nemesis?
“Why am I not surprised that you are here?”
His voice was just as icy as you remembered it to be. Or rather, just as icy with you as you remembered. Because there was a reason why he had been your Middle School crush, aside from the constant banter and the fact that at the time you were really into enemies to lovers type of books. Kim Namjoon had a sweet and calm voice, almost hypnotising. And now, almost 10 years later, his voice was also ridiculously manly. And the butterflies that you thought died inside your stomach? They were suddenly back, storming inside your body. Because his voice was not only manly, but also insanely attractive. And your betraying heart skipped several beats when your eyes landed on him. Kim Namjoon was a sight to see. Not only was he now tall (the perfect height for you to lean your head on this shoulder), but also a man. And you were only human, after all. A very weak one.
“Can you stop staring at me?” he asked not so friendly.
You wanted to hide, far away, somewhere where you would never have to encounter him again. Of course, he caught you staring at him, your luck was embarrassing. “Sorry, I was just surprised to see you here.”
He scoffed, “you surely did not think you were the only one smart enough to be here?”
Yes, maybe Kim Namjoon was now more attractive than you would have liked, but you also remembered how vexed he made you feel. “Does everything have to be a fight with you?” you hissed in return.
He rolled his eyes at you, “only with annoying people.”
You groaned, “you’re just as obnoxious as I remembered.”
“I beg your pardon? You’re the one who clashed into me, knocked all of my things on the floor and then stared at me for 10 minutes-”
“It was not 10 minutes!” you protested. Seriously, he was so irritating.
“Whatever, I don’t have time for this. Now because of you I will be late,” he said.
You gasped. Your lecture! You did not even respond to him, you simply sprinted away, hoping that the professor would allow you to enter the class (spoiler: he did not) and that you would never meet Namjoon again (spoiler: you did. Several times).
_
“And he’s so annoying! Why does he have to be friend with Yoongi? He’s infiltrating my group and soon enough they will get rid of me,” you said munching on your dumplings and pointing the chopstick at your screen where two confused Tae and Jungkook were looking at you. “He hates me!”
“Y/N, don’t you think you’re exaggerating?” Taehyung asked.
You shook your head, gulping down your last dumpling. “He despises me! Don’t you remember how he was in Middle School?”
Jungkook shrugged, “Namjoon-hyung was always very polite with me. I actually quite liked the guy.”
Taehyung nodded, “he really was!”
You groaned, pressing your face into your pillow, “I can’t believe you’re siding with the enemy.”
“You know what, Y/N? One might even think that you still like him,” said Taehyung with a smirk.
You frowned, “what do you mean ‘still like him’? What do you know?” You were now incredibly suspicious. How did he know about your, very much past, crush for Namjoon? As far as you were aware, no one knew anything about your love life.
Jungkook chuckled nervously, “he’s just joking. We must go now, bye sister!” And then he hung up on you.
Those two were up to something, and there was only one person that could tell you what was going on. It was finally time to find Jimin and put an end to your avoiding behaviour.
_
You were almost halfway through when you spotted Jin coming towards you, looking quite conflicted. You noticed his posture was strangely stiff and that he could not quite meat your eyes. When he said hello to you, his voice was tense.
“Is everything okay, Jin?” you asked. You watched him huff and fidget with something in his hand. An envelope. A pink envelope. A very familiar, pink envelope. Panic started crawling on you. It could not be real.
“I received this,” he said waving the letter at you, looking the very description of discomfort. “Look, Y/N, I am honoured, really, but I thought we were only friends. I didn’t know you felt differently.”
“Oh no,” you started panting, panic overwhelming you. You could not breathe; your world was spinning around you, and you could hardly feel the ground beneath your feet. “How did you-”
“Y/N! Are you okay?” Seokjin was now seriously worried about you.
You forced yourself to take in a couple of steadying breaths. “I did not send that,” you said with a small voice. You truly hoped this was just a nightmare, a cruel mistake at best.
Seokjin scratched his head, “but it has been signed by you?”
You laughed nervously, “I know. I have written it years ago. I never intended for it to reach you.”
“So… you love me?”
You shook your head, “no. Don’t get me wrong, at the time I thought I did but…I only wrote it to remind myself of how I felt. I don’t even know why you have it.”
He nodded, passing the envelope to you. “I think you should have it back then.”
You thanked him, taking the letter from him. “Seokjin?”
“Yes?”
“Are we still friends?” you asked hesitantly, not daring to meet his eyes.
He smiled at you and bumped your shoulder with his. “Of course we are. Although, I am a bit hurt that I was not the only one to receive such a beautiful letter.”
You froze, terror taking control of your brain. Not the only one?
“Namjoon seemed quite shocked when he read his.”
Oh no. No no no no no.
If Namjoon had received your letter, which was in itself already bad, then that meant that there was a chance that Jimin had gotten his.
_
You needed to find Jimin. Truthfully, you had no idea what to tell him. It was true, you did not love Seokjin, nor Namjoon, but how could you lie to your dearest friend? How could you look at him in the eyes and tell him that it had all been a mistake? But it’s not as if you could tell him the truth either. Perhaps, you thought, he didn’t receive his letter. Maybe, whomever sent them did not find the one addressed to Jimin. But who did send them? The only thing you could think about was that the box in which they were kept had mistakenly being put with the ones destined to be donated. And then the person who had found them had thought that they ended up there by accident when you were actually meant to send them out. It was your own fault for writing down the full address on each one.
“Y/N! Wait up!”
You stopped in your tracks and closed your eyes, hoping that maybe if you could not see him then he would not see you.
“What is the meaning of this?” Namjoon asked. You opened up one eye to look at him handing you his blue envelope. Of course he saw you.
You sighed and took the envelope. “A mistake, that’s what is it. I did not send it out, if that’s what you’re asking.”
He raised an eyebrow and folded his arms on his chest, “maybe not, but you still wrote it.”
Ouch. You scoffed, “don’t flatter yourself. It means nothing.”
“It said you love me. It said, and I quote, ‘I tried everything I could to stop loving the way my soul calls to yours’-”
You pressed your hands to his mouth, not even caring about invading his personal space or that this was the first time your skin came into contact with his. “Ah, ah! Don’t want to hear about it.”
“Look,” you said taking a step back but still watching carefully in case he decided to randomly quote what you wrote at the age of 13. “I wrote this years ago and never intended for it to reach you.”
“You addressed it,” he stated.
“Sorry?”
He huffed, “you wrote my full address. It came to my house and my mother had to send it to me here. If you never intended to reach me, why did you address it and stamp it?”
You opened your mouth to protest but could not think of many things to say that weren’t ‘I don’t know’. So, you stayed silent.
Exasperated, you looked around. Everywhere, really, so that you didn’t need to look at his piercing eyes. That’s when you noticed Jimin walking towards you, a yellow envelope in his hand.
You don’t know exactly what happened in your brain back then, but you had no time to ponder your next move. All you could think about was making sure that Jimin would never find out about your feelings for him. And so, there was only one thing left for you to do.
You wrapped your arms around Namjoon’s neck, and you kissed him. Despite the terror that seeing Jimin had caused you, you could not help but notice how warm and soft his lips were, how firm his body was against yours. And how his hand unmistakeably grabbed your waist for a brief second. How his lips had moved against yours.
It all lasted so briefly before he pulled himself away from you. You did not hear him asking you what you were thinking, all that you could notice was that Jimin had left. Your plan had worked, for now. All you needed to worry about now was a flustered and angered Namjoon.
You raised a hand to silence his stream of consciousness, “I need you to be my fake boyfriend.”
“Pardon?”
He was speechless, and rightfully so. You even doubted you were making any sense. But somehow it did, in some deep and twisted part of your brain.
“Jimin,” you started to explain, “he has the same letter you and Jin have. I wrote them in different periods of time and, before you ask, I don’t know why I stamped them. Maybe a part of him wanted one of you to know, to return my feelings. I don’t love you, nor Seokjin for that matter, but I do love Jimin. And he is the only person who can never find out.”
Namjoon stayed silent for several minutes, trying to take everything in. “What is it that you are asking of me, exactly?”
You sighed, “if I could pretend I am actually in love with someone else, if I can show him that that letter belongs to the past, perhaps I can still save our friendship. You don’t owe me anything, Kim Namjoon, but what I am asking of you is: will you be my fake boyfriend?”
Summary- Results of a pregnancy test lead to heavy conversations.
word count- 3.6k
pairing- idol!namjoon x ceo!reader
rating- PG 15
genre- series, idolau, fluff, smut, angst
warnings- unwanted pregnancy, talks of abortion, allusions to depression and anxiety, panic attack (brief), SO MUCH ANGST.
a.n- well after 2952905209582 years im back with an update and all I can say is im sorry but the angst is upon us! hopefully the next update won’t take me too long to finish! hope you enjoy this chapter and stay with this couple. I really do love them and im looking forward to you following the rest of their journey (as slow as it may be)
A special thank you to @casuallyimagining for hearing me screaming about this wip for ages and @m-yg93 for beta reading this for me! Love you both!
As always feedback appreciated. Send me an ask!
You stared at the tiles of the cold bathroom floor as you sat next to Namjoon, timer on your phone counting down the seconds to your fate. Your thoughts were dramatic, loudly knocking around your brain, but all you could focus on was the little grime between the white tiles that was missed by the cleaners. You had half a mind to get up to scrub it out just to give you something to do, but Namjoon’s hand was holding yours tight, his eyes glued to the pregnancy test placed in front of you. You had left it upside down to save yourself from the suspense – not that it helped.
“Are we… are we excit-” Namjoon began only to be cut off by the shrill alarm from your phone. The two of you stared at one another for a while, too scared to look at the results. With one hand still in his, you reached for the test, flipping it over to see the results
Two lines.
Positive.
You exhaled loudly, your heart pounding as you looked at Namjoon who was still staring at the little white stick on the floor, his mouth falling open. When he looked at you, his mouth turned into a huge smile, one that deepened his dimples and scrunched his eyes till they were invisible. While waiting for the results he didn’t know what he wanted it to say, but as soon as he saw it, he couldn’t help the way joy bubbled through him. You were pregnant. He was going to be a dad and before he knew it his hands were cupping your face and pulling you into a kiss, gentle and reverent, as if he was pouring all the love he had into it.
“We’re pregnant,” he sighed, his forehead on yours, his fingers gently stroking the nape of your neck.
“We are,” you replied, but instead of the exhilarated tone that Namjoon sported, yours was almost empty, devoid of any emotions. It made him startle, pulling away from you to gauge your neutral expression.
“Are we not happy about this?” he asked, only for you to stand up and walk towards the living room where you sat on the couch, staring into space. He followed you, sitting beside you, hesitant, a hand holding yours. You fingers remained limp as he entwined them, caging his heart in his chest as it banged against the walls, faster and faster.
He didn’t know how long you stared blankly at the wall in front you, unblinking, frightening him beyond belief. It could’ve been minutes, it could’ve been hours, your eyes pointed to the latest painting he had acquired decorating the blank wall. He looked away from you after a while, taking in the abstract as well, letting the rusty hues embrace him, comfort him like they did the day he ran across them at a gallery. But the smoky haze around the rust pounced on him, coloring his thoughts with fear he hadn’t seen in the artwork before, the fear of the inevitable, the fear of the inescapable. It clouded his lungs, making them heavier with each breath, stepping on his trachea, until suddenly you were moving, leaving his hand and reaching for the laptop on the coffee table in front of you, typing away.
“What are you doing?” he whispered, scared that if he spoke any louder you would shatter, or shatter him. He wasn’t sure which one he preferred.
“Setting up an appointment. Need to confirm with the gynaecologist,” you replied curtly, face vacant of any emotion, eyes scrolling the screen, searching.
“Oh… yeah of course. Yeah,” he murmured, trying to gather all his patience till it ran away from him and he was turning towards you fully, a leg coming up to rest against the cushions and hands moving to your shoulders. He traced your cheek with a finger, wanting you to let him into your head, searching your eyes that looked at him listlessly. Mustering a smile, he tried to reassure you, “But hey listen. We’ll be okay. It’s us. We can do this.”
“Namjoon. We’re not having a baby,” you said, firm and final. You didn’t want to fantasise about maybes, you needed solutions, a way to fix what might destroy your life, and for a moment, you didn’t care what Namjoon thought. He would be okay. You would make him understand eventually.
“What?” His voice was sharp, cracking through the silence, hands falling away from you, face tightening into the hard lines you rarely saw. And somehow you felt angry. You knew he wanted kids, he had always wanted kids, cuddling you in bed and waxing poetic about someone you’d both create, but he had to realise it was too soon.
“We’re not ready! Think about it. We’ve barely been together for two years! Having a baby right now is insane,” you ranted, tossing your laptop back on the coffee table just so you could look at him, make him understand how drastically your life could change. You expected Namjoon to fight, but instead he moved closer, cupping your face between his palms, gazing at you softly.
“What does time have anything to do with it? I love you, you love me. That’s all we need,” he assured. He knew that this was not the plan, he was supposed to give you the ring first, he was supposed to learn how to cook your favourite dish and surprise you on your honeymoon first, he was supposed to buy the house with the large yard that reminded you of your childhood first. But who was he to reject fate when it came knocking on his door?
“The timing isn’t right Joonie. You know it’s not,” you pleaded, tone softened to match his, but you could see the frustration growing within him, the tell tale tightening of his jaw sparking your earlier anger. Anger that ignited at his next words, spitting out of his mouth as he dropped his hands from your cheeks to your shoulders as if trying to shake some sense into you.
“Oh come on Y/N! Why are you acting like we’re sixteen and got pregnant? We’re almost thirty. We’re both financially stable. The timing’s not the issue here.”
“Of course it is! Or do you not remember crying on this fucking couch about your year long tour?” You brushed him off, standing up to give yourself some distance, but he followed suit, coming closer, confusing you with the whiplash of him yelling and then pleading all in one go.
“I’ll get them to move it around!” he insisted, running his hands over his face before he hugged you close, murmuring in your ear, “We’ll figure it out. It’s our baby.”
“It’s not a baby! It’s a collection of cells,” you pushed him off once again, trying your hardest to make him understand the gravity of the situation. Having a baby wasn’t a one time thing, it was something that could change all of your plans, that could change the course of your lives. “You can’t move around the tour! It’s impossible. We can have a baby in the future. It’s just not right.”
“Then I’ll fucking quit! It doesn’t matter. I’d do that for you,” he promised, determined, jaw clenching, fists balled at his sides.
“I don’t want that,” you implored, voice strained, goosebumps running up your spine. “I can’t get pregnant. Harry quit, I need to be in the comp-”
“Fuck the company! It’s our baby,” Namjoon yelled, startling you as he came closer. “If I can quit, so can you. We can still be happy!”
“I can’t quit! Are you insane?” you matched his volume, wanting so badly to knock some sense into him, your fists gripping his shirt at his chest.
“You have majority shares, you’ll be fine,” he promised, holding you, trying to comfort you but he just didn’t understand. How could you prove every misogynist that sat on that board that you were indeed who they predicted, just a woman abandoning her hard work to build a family?
“No,” you said, pushing him away once again, unaware of your strength as he stumbled back, a look of betrayal marring his features. “You can quit, but I can’t.”
“Why?” he protested.
“Because you’re already successful!” you yelled, feeling all the energy sapping out of you with your retort, leaving your knees shaking, your entire body quivering. “You’ve already reached your dreams. I can’t abandon mine. Joonie, please.”
The way you pleaded made his heart shatter, made him fall into a million pieces as he felt his eyes burn, his sinuses clogging with the dissonance of empathy and selfishness, because to Namjoon his dream wasn’t being an idol, it was you and now your unborn child.
“That’s not my dream… not anymore,” he declared softly, head bowed as if you had slapped him and you couldn’t take it anymore, sitting back on the couch to book the appointment.
“Let’s talk about it after the appointment,” you whispered, heart beating against your chest, clawing at it as you ran through contingencies, figuring out where you could get an abortion in a nation that had them criminalized. You knew you were breaking Namjoon, and you hated it, but he didn’t understand what was at stake for you. How many endless nights you had spent working to make a name for yourself, to make something out of nothing but your ideas and relentless grit. How you had faced rejection after rejection before uprooting your life, leaving your family behind, and now you were on the cusp of where you had envisioned yourself in your tiny dorm room so many years ago. How could he expect you to throw it all away? All for some fault in your birth control?
You ignored Namjoon as he sat on the couch next to you, his body as drained as yours, defeat pouring out of every pore. He couldn’t help silently weeping, hoping that you’d change your mind, that you’d suddenly tell him you were joking, wrap him in your arms and tell him congratulations. Then he could laugh, joke with you about scaring the life out of him, kiss you and run to his closet and pull out the ring. But the real joke was that you just sat there long after you had shut the laptop, the distance between you growing.
He hated it. He hated that somehow you felt like a stranger in that moment. He understood you, knew the pressures that threatened to bury you at every moment, but he still couldn’t help wishing that you would listen to him. He wasn’t alone when he fantasised about kids, you were there with him in the nights after he had exhausted your body, holding you warm between the sheets as he talked about the family two of you would create. You would tell him the names you wanted, about how you hoped your child wouldn’t lose the little shoes he had gotten so long ago now.
He wanted to reach out and comfort you, even though you had just broken his heart. It was stupid how you were also the only one who could heal him, reassure him that his dream wasn’t futile, that wanting you, wanting a family wasn’t as far off as it seemed in the moment. But as he gathered the courage, slowly inching his hand closer to yours, you stood up walking to the kitchen, leaving him frozen on the couch.
Cutting the vegetables for a meal always calmed you, but each time the knife hit the cutting board, you felt your heartbeat in your ears, your breaths getting shorter till you were squatting on the floor, head between your knees. You knew you would lose Namjoon, in all this time, there was a niggling thought at the back of your mind that he would wake up and realise that what he thought was love was an infatuation, much like others before him. However, you hadn’t thought of how you would push him away, how you would cut his heart out and present it to him. Your words ran through your head, harsh and selfish as you pictured the man you love getting more and more dejected, tears falling down your cheeks. You tried to compose yourself, control your breathing, remembering to count the rise of your chest. You breathed in for five seconds, letting the air inflate your lungs, holding it for another five, before expelling it out with your doubts.
It didn’t take long for the panic to subside, for your tears to dry – years of practice had that effect, and soon you were standing up once again, trying to dispel the disappointment that washed over you when Namjoon was still sitting in the living room, still staring at the wall like you had left him. You were disappointed in yourself, but you were still firm in your decision. You couldn’t give him what he wanted, not now.
Cooking dinner helped you collect your thoughts, get brave as you called him to the kitchen, yet not brave enough to hold him like you wanted to. Dinner was spent in silence, the tension of the fight lingering in the air like acid, peeling off your skin and leaving it raw. Every moment felt hesitant, laced with anxiety, heavy like gravity had increased tenfold. In bed, the two of you faced away from each other, an ocean between you of worries furrowing your brows and sinking your hearts.
But Namjoon was brave. Or maybe he was too scared to let the argument take roots in the foundation you two had worked hard to build. He could feel it seeping in, trying to lodge its claws in, and so in the silence hanging like tendrils of a willow, he said your name, letting it act as an anchor as he tentatively turned around, his hand reaching out for you, fingers gently grazing your back. When you ignored him, not knowing how to face him after the way you had acted, he tried again, mature and persistent.
“Can I hold you?” he whispered, his index finger poking your back ever so softly. It ached your heart, his timid tone making your lip wobble as you shrugged. He took that as an agreement because you had barely moved your shoulders before his body was around you, long limbs wrapping you in a safe embrace. The breath you released was hallowed, a shaky exhale burning your lungs and stinging your eyes. You grasped his hands tightly in yours, criss crossing your arms around your body and he moved closer, head almost on top of yours, needing to be closer.
“I love you.” His proclamation was comforting, even when his voice was waterlogged and his tears tracked from his cheeks to yours.
“Even if I don’t want this baby?” You needed to know. You didn’t know if you would change your mind. You were in no position to bring a child into the world, not yet. You needed the reassurance that he trusted you, and would wait for you. He was quiet for a moment, more hesitant than he had ever been with you and it made your heart pound beneath your chest, begging for an escape.
“Even if you don’t want this baby,” he confirmed, his nose tracing your cheek and you couldn’t help a tear escape along with a flurry of apologies that he kissed away. Sleep was elusive and his snores never came to comfort you with their lullabies. Lost in your own thoughts you stayed wrapped in each other till the sun was fighting to peep in through your drapes, alerting you that in a few hours you both would have to make the biggest decision in your relationship.
It was quiet in the little hospital room, bright lights and the plants secluded in the corner of the pastel room not bringing any comfort to the two of you as you sat stiffly in the plush chairs behind the large oak desk. The receptionist had quietly escorted you to the room to wait till the doctor was ready, and you were glad that Namjoon had less of a chance of being spotted in a gynaecologist’s office.
He held your hand as you sat together, grip unfaltering even when the nurse came in to draw some blood. He watched over his glasses as you drew in a sharp inhale when the needle pricked through your skin, your fingers around his tightening just a little. He wished he wasn’t in this situation, that time had been kinder and given you the successes you wanted at the same time as him so you felt ready to start a family to truly be with him. But nothing ever went according to plan for him, and even when it did, it didn’t work like he had thought.
He had experienced it in his career. The poetry he used to write in his childhood bedroom on his scattered desk had now transformed into lyrics echoed in strangers’ bedrooms. He had worked harder than anything to ensure that, put his youth as collateral, put his relationships as collateral for his success and he had achieved it. Yet, each moment felt frayed. He never had the opportunity to sit still long enough to actually relish the fruits of his labours to enjoy it before he was working on the next thing, trying to block out the voices that told him he wasn’t good enough. He worked to prove them wrong and when he did, they always relegated his efforts to luck. It was frustrating. This was not how he thought reaching his goals would feel like, bittersweet and fleeting.
It was the same with you sometimes. He never imagined a partner was in the cards for him, never imagined that someone would ever care enough about him to love him despite his flaws, but you had. You showed him that it was okay to break down, to let down his walls, and so he worked hard to ensure he never lost you, read books on how to be the perfect partner, a “female-written male character”. But even with your voice telling him he was enough, he was eager to move onto the next step to prove even further how perfect he could be for you. You didn’t pressure him into, you didn’t need to, he was conditioned to want more, to always want more. He just didn’t think you wouldn’t want more with him.
However, when the doctor walked in, he wished that he could convince you otherwise. Maybe if you could see the bundle of cells the two of you had created together, you could envision the future with him. He held your hand as the doctor talked, barely registering what she was saying because he was too anxious, too impatient for her to do an ultrasound. You wouldn’t want an abortion if you saw it, right? But nothing ever went according to plan for him. There was no ultrasound. The movies he had watched had lied to him. All the doctor did was look at a report on her tablet, smiling sadly.
“So Y/N, I’ve got some bad news,” she began and Namjoon’s heart pounded in panic, a sheen of sweat already appearing on his forehead. Her tone made a chill travel up his spine and he tightened his grip on your fingers, bracing himself. “Unfortunately, you are not pregnant.”
He knew he should’ve been relieved, just like you seemed to be, your shoulders relaxing and a breath escaping your lips, but his throat ran dry, all the moisture seeming to deposit into his eyes. You smiled at him and he reciprocated, happy to see you happy. He had to be happy, right? There was no reason to mourn something that was never there, but with every question you asked the doctor, he felt more helpless. Folding his hands in his lap, he stared at them solemnly. Apparently pregnancy tests could be wrong if they’re expired. He didn’t even know they had an expiration date, but then again did he know anything at all?
Turns out he didn’t even know you, feeling irrationally annoyed at the sudden pep in your step as the two of you made your way to the car. You were already on the phone scheduling something or the other with Siwon, oblivious to the tears in his eyes as he stared at the passing blur of the streets.
“Joon?” your voice broke him from his thoughts and he cleared his throat, humming in response. “You okay?”
He should’ve told you the truth, enlightened you to the flurry in his head, but when he turned to you, you seemed so relaxed, so happy that he didn’t have the courage to dampen the bright smile on your face. So he lied, “Yeah. I’m okay. You?”
You didn’t believe him. Somehow in your relief you had failed to notice how closed off your boyfriend had become. Sequestered in the corner, he seemed impossibly small in the seat, his shoulders hunched, his hands resting in between his joined knees. He seemed to be almost closing in on himself. You thought he would be relieved too, relieved that you didn’t have to make a monumental decision, that you didn’t have to change the trajectory of your relationship over a mistake, but his dejected aura made you forget about your earlier joy, your arms wrapping around him.
You were almost afraid he wouldn’t reciprocate your gesture but soon his arms were wrapping around you too, his face buried in your hair as he inhaled deeply. It was as if the edge of last night’s fight was still there, threatening to pop the bubble the two of you had created in the backseat of the car, but you were stubborn, holding him tighter and refusing to let the agony manifest again.
“We’ll be okay,” assured him as he straightened, his tired eyes staring at you.
“We’ll be okay,” he promised, a hand cupping your face before his lips met yours, gentle and loving.
“I have a challenge for you”, he broke the silence. “Hm?” You hummed from your place on his hold. “I think you already know it”, he said. You lifted your head to look at him in the eyes. Was this boy serious? He had to make it into a game, all because he was too shy to ask you to kiss him. It was cute. Min Yoongi was cute. His eyes looked back at you in anticipation. He was waiting for a reaction, challenge was a challenge so you still had the possibility to not do it. But you were no damn quitter.
