#naomi solace
AU where Naomi Solace literally writes songs about her fling with the sun god and everyone is all like “aw she’s so poetic” but she literally did date a god and Will is just like the whole time
Fandom: Trials of Apollo
Rating:Gen
Genre: Angst/Family
Characters: Will Solace, Apollo, Naomi SolaceWill knew his relationship with his parents - both his parents - was better than most demigods’. He knew he should be grateful for what he had, and he was. Really, he was.
Day twenty-seven of TOApril organised by @ferodactyl, “The Words We Want To Say”. This got a lot angstier than I planned it to be, whoops. Sorry, Will.
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Will should be grateful for what he had. He knew that. His mother was still alive, she didn’t hate his existence for things outside of his control, and his dad actually remembered to give him the time of day. That put him in a better position than most campers, who were either lacking on the godly parent front (which was, really, the case for anyone who wasn’t cabin seven or twelve, as best he could tell), or on the mortal parent front (which was far too many of them; some year-round campers should have been able to go home, if their parents weren’t pieces of garbage).
He had no right to feel like he could have more, not when his mom was an call away and Apollo dropped into his dreams at least once a week to check in. He knew that, but it didn’t stop the selfish monster in his chest from trying to rear its head every so often.
Mom, why can’t I come and stay for a while? I miss you. Words that fought to burst free every time he spoke to her, caught ten minutes from her busy schedule where she had time for the son she promised she loved, even if it was easier living apart. Forget about the concert; what about me? He knew that music was her first love, before him, before Apollo and whatever romantic fling they’d had (Apollo always spoke highly of her in his earshot, and she never really had anything bad to say about Apollo, even after Will knew it was a short relationship that had ended with his birth, so it couldn’t have been the catastrophe some of the other campers’ parents went through). Sometimes he wouldn’t listen to anything that wasn’t his Mom’s CDs – and he had all of them, she always made sure he got the latest one before it was released, complete with a handwritten letter, much to the jealousy of the country music fans in camp who adored her music. Sometimes, he couldn’t bear to hear a single bar from one of her songs without wanting to break down and cry.
But he couldn’t complain, because she was alive, she did love him, he got to see her sometimes and she always made an effort to meet up if she was touring in the area. He wasn’t her first love, but she didn’t hate him for existing and that was more than too many demigods had.
So he didn’t. He kept the ugly creature locked away in his chest and smiled brightly as she told him about her latest album then told her the (censored) stories from camp before their time was up and her life called again.
A life that didn’t involve him. A life he wished involved him.
Apollo was different. Apollo was a god, with more duties than Will could wrap his head around, and laws governing how much he was supposed to be interacting with demigods – laws he knew his dad was pushing regularly, finding underhanded and sneaky ways to drop in on them without ever being in direct contempt of them. Ever since Will had arrived at camp, learnt about his heritage, he’d known not to expect much from his father.
He hadn’t expected to see his father more than his mother, but that turned out to be the case and Will knew to cherish that because so many demigods went their whole lives barely being acknowledged by their godly parent. Sometimes it felt like he was lucky just because Apollo remembered his name, let alone all the stolen dream visits he kept to himself because he knew Apollo wasn’t supposed to drop by as often as he did.
Still, that didn’t mean the ugly creature in his chest was satisfied with its lot. Stop looking like that, it wanted him to scream whenever Apollo strolled into camp looking like Lester, complete with acne and scars from wounds that Will hadn’t been able to heal. He didn’t, because Apollo being there at all was never something to be taken for granted and at least he didn’t look like that in dream visits, only sometimes in person – normally when Meg was around. Meg preferred the Lester look, he knew, and who was he to monopolise Apollo’s appearance when there were other, younger, more in-need campers that benefitted better from Lester?
It wasn’t easy to swallow down the voice, although the smile at his dad’s appearance came naturally enough that he didn’t think anyone else could see the selfishness inside. Nico suspected something, Will was sure, but he didn’t push and Will didn’t open up. Not about this.
Please don’t leave me, tried to slip from his tongue when Apollo said his goodbyes, whether in person or in a dream. Please stay a little longer. He couldn’t say that. He knew Apollo would be back – his dad never said it in so many words but there was always the air of until next time in the farewells, rather than any finality. He knew Apollo was pushing boundaries visiting as much as he did. He knew Apollo couldn’t stay any longer, couldn’t lavish any more attention on him than he did already.
It wasn’t like Apollo didn’t answer when he called, it wasn’t like his father ignored his existence. Apollo had other things to do, duties that came ahead of pandering to his son’s every wish and risking the wrath of broken laws. Will wasn’t important enough to break laws for, and he didn’t want to be (except the ugly little creature in his chestwanted to be, wanted to have a parent that put him first in their lives even though he was a demigod and demigods didn’t get that).
Put me first, the ugly creature in his chest shrieked at his mom when she said she had to go, now, because something or other needed her time (it was never Will who ‘had to go’, even though his job was saving lives, maybe because their calls were rare enough it just never coincided).
Put me first, it shrieked when Apollo turned up looking like Lester because Meg was there, because the other campers were more at ease when he didn’t look like an actual god in their midst and Will had never told Apollo that Lester’s appearance brought back too many bad memories. Put me first, when he had to go, just like his mom did, because time was up and Will was left with a warm hug and an unspoken feeling that Apollo would be back at some vague, undetermined point.
Please, put me first, it sobbed when both parents were gone and he was left alone, a demigod lucky enough to still have both parents, to have both parents willing to be in his life, who didn’t hate him – but selfish enough to want more.
Will swallowed down the words, tried to avoid the ugly little creature, the selfishness of his heart, and smiled at his mom, at his dad, as they left, telling them he loves them and getting the words back (if you love me why don’t you put me first just once, the creature wailed, trapped where no-one else could hear. Why don’t you choose me?).
After all, he was lucky to have what he had.
this implies so many things about naomi solace im not sure will wants to know
