#new jersey
Hello everyone. Originally, this post was supposed to be devoted to the year 1978, however something came up, and by something, I mean this 2.2 million-dollar, 5,420 sq ft 4 bed/4.5 bath house in Colt’s Neck, NJ.
You see, usually, when a listing goes viral, I’m content to simply retweet it with a pithy comment, but this house genuinely shook something in me, genuinely made me say “what the (expletive)” out loud. It is only fair to inflict this same suffering onto all of you, hence, without further ado:
Looks normal, right? Looks like the same low-brow New Jersey McMansion we’re all expecting, right? Oh, oh dear, you couldn’t be more wrong.
Guess who’s making a list and checking it twice?
Guess who’s gonna find out who’s naughty or nice?
Guess who’s coming to town?
Guess who’s coming to town to drag your ass into hell?
A gentle reminder that it is not yet Thanksgiving.
But oh. Oh. It continues:
If you’re wondering what’s happening here, you’re not alone, and sadly there is no convenient way to find out via a kind of haunted house hotline or something.
I can’t even label these rooms because frankly I’m not even sure what they are. All I am sure of is that I want out of them as soon as humanly possible.
r̸̘̆e̴̝̻̽m̵̡̼̚ȩ̵͑̎ͅm̷͍̮̉b̸̥̈e̶̯̺̽͗r̸̝͊͠ ̸̡͎̅̀t̴̯̲̓ȯ̷̮̫ ̷̜̅̀ŵ̶̟̱ā̴̭̘s̸̥͋h̴͉̿ ̵̡̑y̸̩͈͑o̷̹̭͛͝ů̷̩̮̔r̶̜̃ ̴̠̗͋ẖ̴̈́͛a̸̢̟̐͒n̶̩̟̆ḍ̵̍̀s̴̨̈́
How is it that a room can simultaneously threaten, frighten, and haunt me? Me, of all people!
My eyes do not know where to go here. They go to the window, they go to the fireplace, they go to the massive mound of fake plant and statuary currently gorging on the leftmost corner of the room, they go to my hands, which are shaking.
“Hello, I would like to get in touch with the Ministry of Vibes? Yes, I’ll hold.”
I haven’t been this afraid of a shower since I went to Girl Scout camp in the fifth grade and there was a brown recluse spider in the camp shower and I screamed until the counselor came in and told me it was only a wolf spider but it turns out those still bite you and it hurts.
I love watching Still Images on my Television Set :)
Nobody make a sound. He’s watching you.
i spy with my evil eye:
:)
Their souls are trapped in these photographs forever :)
Okay, phew, we made it out alive. Here’s the back of the house I guess.
Well, I hope you’re as thoroughly disturbed as I am. Seriously, I’m going to have trouble sleeping. I mean, I already have trouble sleeping, but this is just making that existing problem so much worse.
If you like this post, and want to see more like it, consider supporting me on Patreon!
There is a whole new slate of Patreon rewards, including: good house of the month, an exclusive Discord server, weekly drawings, monthly livestreams, a reading group, free merch at certain tiers and more!
Not into recurring donations but still want to show support? Consider the tip jar! (Tips are much appreciated since I am making a cross country move in two weeks!!!)
Or, Check out the McMansion Hell Store! Proceeds from the store help protect great buildings from the wrecking ball.
ok heres this big long thing about that movie i mentioned earlier
ok. two rival pizzerias each run by a different family in verona
veronaNEW JERSEY, that is!
we start with a pizza-making montage and actually its fucking awesome
its to the tune of some rollicking good-feels half-acoustic pseudo-rock jam,
something about having a real nice time and throwing around the words “nothing at all” in a semi-soaring voice
yep just another jack johnson clone thats so awesome ok moving on
heres gina prestolani just graduated from art school in chicago i guess oh so fortuitously literally running into our male love interest joe who knocks all of her PHOTOGRAPHS out of her hands
they pick them up without even looking
what is this sorcerynot sure how they dont know each other theyve pretty much lived in this town all their lives it seems
gina returns home where her dad informs her that photographers dont make money
and if she pursues that particular passion she will never ever get married
all this with a wink in his eye and a playful tug on her cheek
ends with “you’ll make much more money being a teacher” which probably nobody has said ever
FORGET ABOUT ME SUSPENDING MY DISBELIEF, IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN NOW
intimacy
.
.
.
Host @outofthe.box.events
Venue @school_house_studios
Model @mikaylarosebecker
Hair @loveliescustomhairart
Make Up @carmellinabeautyco_
Jewelry @maplelanejewelry
Florals @rebloomflorals_weddings
Lingerie @sheinofficial
.
.
.
#portraitsofinstagram #photographer #boudoir #njphotographer #portrait #boudoirphotographer #boutiquestyle #model #flowers #flowersofinstagram #beautiful #lingerie #sheinhaul #shein
Glass swizzle sticks with vintage glasses
Stained glass pumpkin
Upcycled stained glass panel
Fused glass suncatchers
Stained glass sunrise
Stained glass starburst