Love You More | (Sneak Peek)

“Are you sure?”

All his attention was on you, like the two of you were the only ones here, which you most certainly weren’t. His eyes gazing into yours like they held the whole god damn universe, which they didn’t but to him it was so closest he would get to the stars. Like how could anything else possibly matter besides this exact moment. He was waiting so patiently but eagerly for the words to flow out of your mouth. Like your lips held the key to world peace — his world.

“I’ve always done what was asked of me, what i thought i was supposed to do. Everyone has always made my choices for me but… this time — this choice is all mine. I am choosing this, i am choosing you”

MASTERPOST

Love You More | pt.8

TASM! Peter x Reader, Bucky x Reader (past)

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: Fight scene is next! Not looking forward to that i suck at writing them so i’ll probably stick close to the script for that or just be very vague with it, not edited or proof read!

TW! This part mentions suicide

Masterlist (coming soon) | Masterpost

Sam stood on his front porch, his phone still clutched in his hand as he stared at the call log. He let out a breath, hitting your name bringing the phone to his ear, when he heard it go straight to voicemail he let out a groan, squeezed his phone so hard that if he had that serum running through his veins he definitely would have crushed his phone. 

He was feeling a mixture of emotions, he was frustrated with how vague you were, he was mad at Bucky for clearly not telling him everything he seen the headlines about you, the video footage of you walking out on Bucky followed by lightning lighting up the sky he thought it was just a fight, an argument because he knew first hand how stubborn Bucky could be but you were always so reasonable, Steve use to tell him you were the glue that kept them together, he was hoping that would be the case with Bucky, you and him. 

He knew this wasn’t going to be easy, everything changed but he gave you your space, gave you time but 6 months was such a long time. He was nervous every goddamn day he would check his phone from any sign that you were alive and well, he would check the news. When he heard in the news a single lightning strike cracked a 100 year old tree in half, he felt some sort of relief but it was clearly intentional, he tried to get Bucky to talk to him but he was like a broken record with the whole “None of your business” 

But he was so fucking nervous right now, that sounded like a goodbye and not just a see you later one like you told him but a your never gonna see me again goodbye. His mind couldn’t stop playing one of the last conversations with Steve he ever had about you on repeat. 

2023 - A little before Steve Rogers Passing 

“Hey Sam?” 

“Yeah Cap?”

A small smile played on his face “You know you can stop calling me that, the shields yours”

An eye roll played out on Sam’s face “You’re always gonna be my Captain” 

Nostalgia was written all over Steve’s face before it fell flat “Y/N hasn’t came by since the stones, i haven’t heard from her, im worried Sam”

“I’ve stopped by multiple times, called texted shes just not answering, I dont know whats going on”

“Bucky won’t tell me anything” he paused, liar Steve thought before continuing “They must be fighting again” a small smile on his face thinking of all Bucky’s and yours stupid fights. 

Sam snorted “Makes two of us, i think shes just not handling all this” He gestured to Steve laying in a hospital bed “Well” 

Steve nodded, he opened and closed his mouth, debating if he should say what he was thinking before starting “I know this is asking a lot of you Sam, but you need to look after her”

“You know i will Cap, always, shes family to me too”

“I’m gonna tell you something that only Y/N, Tony, Fury and I knew, you can’t tell Bucky it’ll just make things worse”

“Yeah of course, my lips are sealed”

Steve nodded “Y/n, she didn’t just go for a walk, fall asleep and wake up here” he referred to the 2000’s “She died” 

Sam’s mouth dropped “What? that wasn’t in any file?”

“I know because we decided it was best kept a secret but a little bit after she woke up she couldn’t remember much but it came back to her, she was hysterical, we had to sedate her. It was like everything she felt before hit her all at once…. but we got her to talk, it wasn’t uncommon after the war for people to commit suicide”

Sam’s eyes went wide not liking where this was headed. 

“Y/n, she lost us, she didn’t have anyone left. She attended not one but two funerals where there was no body, I couldn’t imagine what she felt.” Steve brought his eyes to look at Sam’s because he didn’t want to say it and he knew with Sam he wouldn’t have to “She, did it Sam, she went to — and she did”

“Steve, that’s a lot” Sam got up, he started pacing near the foot of the bed “That changes everything, i gotta —“

Steve cut him off “I know its a lot as long as you know she’s in there and alive that’s all that matters Sam”

“Why didn’t you tell Bucky, that’s his girl” 

“He went through a lot, he was healing, she was healing, she promised me everything was fine”

“He’d kick down that door if he knew”

Steve had a small smile “Yeah i know he would, he wouldn’t let her out of his site, she’s his everything”

“Any idea why they’d be fighting?”

Steve shrugged “Can’t say i do Sam” he knew of course he did, Bucky came to him 2 weeks ago asking for advice about you. How he didnt know he was anymore, didn’t know who you were anymore. That he didn’t want to drag you through the dark tunnel of finding out who he was now, Steve told him that was stupid. 

That’d you’d be more hurt by him saying he needed space, that he needed time because the two of you were already on borrowed time. Steve promised he wouldn’t say anything no matter how badly he wanted to, because he hoped at the time the two of you would sort this out before it was time for him to go but by the looks of things that wasn’t the case. It was a secret that was coming with him to the grave, he knew Bucky would tell Sam when he was ready, when that trust was built he just hoped it wasn’t gonna be too late. 

The front door swung open “What the hell Sam? Was that y/n?! Don’t even lie to me i heard you say her name” Bucky’s brows were creased, pointing his finger at Sam. 

Sam didnt say anything quite yet, he could see the smoke coming out of Bucky’s ears, he knew he had to tell him. It was the only way he couldn’t think of any other excuse that he wouldn’t question “We should go inside”

Sam turned to walk inside but Bucky grabbed his arm to stop him. Sam stared in his eyes. He could tell how worried he was, he could see the panic, the heartache, the sacrifices but most importantly the love he had for you.Sam kept walking nodded for Bucky to follow him to the table, he could hear his heavy footsteps trailing behind him. 

He pulled a chair out and plopped down, Bucky stood there with his arms crossed “Sit down Buck”

“No” 

“Bucky sit down” 

Bucky lingered a little longer before giving in, pulling out the chair across from Sam “You better start talking Sam” 

“I will, under one condition you don’t interrupt me and know I only didn’t tell you because Steve made me promise”

Bucky nodded so Sam started “One of the last time’s i went to visit Steve, he told me something that only he, Fury, Stark and of course y/n knew. It wasn’t in any of her files for good reasons, it was only needed to know per situation information, that’s why he didn’t tell you. He knew you were recovering, you were bettering yourself and this would have held you back, he told me he knew y/n would tell you when she was ready” He paused “What do you know about the night she disappeared?”

Still a scowl on his face he responded “That Peggy told her about Steve, after the funeral she just disappeared. Steve told me she fell asleep by our spot, that she just woke up and it was 2012, the ground absorbed her or something, right?”

Sam shook his head “She didn’t fall asleep Buck”

“What do you mean she didn’t fall asleep? So Steve lied to me?”

“Bucky, she died”

Bucky stood up, his chair flying back “What do you mean she died? So she’s a ghost?! Stupidest thing i’ve ever heard!” He was pacing now. “Why’d they lie to me!” He slammed his fist down on the table making Sarah jump in the kitchen 

“She committed suicide” Sam wanted to break eye contact with Bucky because now he knew what you meant when you told him how Bucky’s ocean eyes would suck you in like a whirl pool, and Sam was drowning trying to get out as they filled with water

Bucky shook his head “No, no, no why would she do that Sam? Did he say why she would do that, my girl wouldn’t do that, she, she — “

“She lost both of you Buck, she lost you then she lost Steve. You two were all she had, man. There were no bodies to bury, she never got closure. Can’t imagine what she was feeling” 

Bucky walked over taking a seat on the couch, he had millions of questions that he was scared to ask since the answer to his last one was weighing him down he was sure this was one he’d never be able to get off his shoulders. 

“Steve said they ran tests and they were never able to find out how she was resurrected but there assuming it had to do with her powers there was no other logical explanation” 

Bucky nodded, as silence took over for a brief moment, the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Till Bucky jumped up off of the couch “She lost Steve”

“We all lost Steve”

“No you dont get it” Bucky ran his hands down his face “She lost Steve, and I - fuck, im so stupid. I wasn’t thinking, “I gotta call her Sam, this is bad, do you think she w-would do it again?”

“Woah Buck, slow down” Sam was standing now “What are you talking about?”

“I told her I needed time, Sam, she gave me the ring back, we broke up. She lost me then she lost Steve” 

“Did Steve know?”

“Of course he knew, he told me i was stupid, i am stupid”

“He knew, that’s why he told me, he knew she was gonna lose both of you all over again” Sam’s eyes widened “That was her on the phone, she told me she was proud of me, she was saying goodbye Buck” 

“Well, call her back!” Bucky shouted 

“I tried it goes straight to voicemail”

“She called me” Bucky whispered “A day ago, she didn’t say anything but I could hear her, then she just hung up” he paused “What if she already…”

“Don’t say it Buck, she’s not, she can’t be” 

“We gotta go now, we gotta go to her place and kick her door down!” Bucky was already walking to the door

“48 hours ago a single lightning strike hit a 100 year old tree in the park” Sam blurted out 

Bucky froze he knew exactly what he meant, and he knew exactly what you were doing when you did that “She let me go” he whispered, wiping the tear that escaped before turning around “She was letting me — usgo” his voice cracked 

“Do you know where else she could have gone? 

“Hey guys?” Sarah spoke from the kitchen “I hate to interrupt but you might wanna see this”

Both men entered the kitchen staring at the TV as Spiderman was on a video call with a news reporter but with his mask off. 

“Just the truth.” Spiderman spoke 

“Oh sure.” Jameson rolled his eyes 

“I thought he wore a mask for a reason?” Bucky questioned

Sarah’s eyes widened “You two missed a lot while you were fixing that damn boat, they revealed his identity just some kid named Peter Parker from queens” she shrugged

“The truth is, that this is all my fault. I accidentally brought those

dangerous people here”

“Well, he admits it!”

“And if those people are watching, just know that I really did try to help you. I mean, I could have killed you -“ Peter says before holding up some weird box, Bucky and Sam look at each other briefly before Peter starts talking again “At any given moment. But I

didn’t. Because my Aunt May taught me that everyone deserves a second chance. And that’s why I’m here”

“And where is “here” exactly?”

“A place that represents second chances” He turns the camera slightly and you can see him at the top of the statue of liberty, as the camera turns back around for a brief second Bucky and Sam could have sworn they saw you before the camera turned back fully on Peter. 

“Did you see that?” Bucky asks

Sam nodded “She did promise Stark she’d watch out after Spiderman, and if Peter is Spiderman shes gonna watch out after him to” 

“The Statue of Liberty?! Good God, folks, he’s about to destroy another national landmark”

“But world, if you’re watching–“

“Believe me, the world is watching–“ 

“Wish me luck. Your friendly neighborhood SpiderMan could really use some.”

Peter’s video ends, Bucky turns to Sam “Do you have his phone number?” 

“When i became Captain America they auto synced phone numbers in my phone, i’m not sure” Sam reached in his pocket

“Well check!” Bucky groaned

“What the hell do you think i’m doing?!” He started scrolling through his contacts “At least we know she’s alive”

“Yeah but not safe, what bad guys, plural might I add, is he talking about?”

“I got it, i found it” He turned his phone around to show Bucky ‘Spiderman’ 

Bucky ripped the phone out of Sam’s hand and hit call puting it to his war

“What the hell man, that’s my —“

Bucky put his finger up “Put y/n on the phone”

Love You More | pt. 7

Word count: 1.8k

TASM!Peter x reader, Bucky x Reader (past)

Warnings: swearing maybe

A/N: The fight scene is gonna be in one of the next few parts, i think were gonna hear from Bucky in the next part Not edited or proof read!

Masterlist (coming soon) | Masterpost

“You have someone?”

“No. I got no time for uh, Peter Parker stuff, you know? —

Do you?”

“Uh, that’s a little complicated”

“No, I understand. I guess it’s just not in the cards for guys like us”

“Well, I wouldn’t give up. It took a while, but we made it work”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, me and Mj, my Mj — It uh, it gets confusing here” Peter 2 smiled slightly before noticing the grim look of heartbreak on Peter 3s face, he continued “You don’t think you have one?”

He shook his head “Nah, those days are long behind me” he smiles looking out the window at you, the way the wind was blowing in your hair made you look like the most angelic human he’s ever seen, he watched the way the moonlight shined off the side of your face perfectly illuminating the swoop of your nose down to your lips setting his heart best into a frenzy. You looked slightly anxious and he wanted nothing more than to make sure you were okay.

Peter 2 followed his eyeline, when his eyes found you he couldn’t help but grin,looking back at the other Peter “All our universes might have a couple things in common but doesn’t mean all of them have to have everything in common”

“Whaddya mean?”

“I mean like you two have web shooters, I don't”

“Now you’re just bragging” Peter 3 tossed his head back laughing, he could feel your gaze on him.

He laughed, “No no, just wait, I’m getting there. And maybe our two share an MJ” he gestured to himself and the youngest peter who was still down stairs on the phone waiting for the last cure “but maybe there’s another universe out there where another Spiderman is like me” He paused briefly “Or one where Peter has ay/n instead of an MJ”

He looked down fiddling with his mask “I don’t think my universe has either”

“Maybe that’s because your y/n is here”

“Hey! Are you two ready?” The youngest Peter popped back up the stairs “Final cure is finished, Neds gonna portal us over there any second now, then ill take a video and send — Wheres y/n?” He stopped realizing you weren’t in the room.

“She’s still on the phone” Peter 2 gestured to the window

Peter 1 walked over to the window “She looks anxious” He placed the bag containing the cures on a small side table “I should go check on her” He started towards the door.

The eldest Peter gave Peter 3 a look, a knowing look as he raised his eyebrow, nudging his head towards the door. Peter 3’s eyes went wide in realisation.

He jumped up off the stool “Is it okay if I go instead?”

Peter 1 stopped, turning around he looked at Peter 2 who nodded then back to Peter 3 “Y-yeah of course but we have to go any second now, okay?”

Peter 3 noded fiercely “Yeah, of course i’ll be fast” he never felt like he was moving so slow but so fast in his life. His heartbeat was speeding up the closer he got to you.

“Y/n, holy shit, what are you up to? It’s been…” He paused you could see his demeanour changing when the realisation dawned on him exactly how long it had been “way too long”

You could hear Bucky and some girl talking in the background before Sam was shushing them. He mumbled “Dont worry about it” and then you could hear a chair being pushed back.

He moved on was all you could think about after hearing him laughing with a female voice, and of course Sam was leaving the room so you wouldn’t have to hear it. “Yeah” you let out an airy breath “It has been”

“I stopped by a few times”

“I know”

“I called, i texted, Buck he wouldn’t tell me anything y/n, you were – you are like family to me, I wanted us to stick together it’s what Steve wanted and, I-I didn’t even see you at the funeral”

“I’m sorry Sam, i just -“ you sniffled “It’s been hard since, everything” you paused “Im trying”

“Don’t apologise, you never have to apologise to me for anything. We were supposed to stick together as a team, a family. I’ll always be here for you, i’m just happy to hear your voice i was worried for awhile”

“I was at the funeral, I was just…”

“Hiding?” Sam finished for you

“Yeah”

“Why?”

“I just needed some time, We lost so many people, Steve left, Bucky left, i just needed to wallow, comprehend everything look for the light at the end of the tunnel”

“Did you find it? The light”

You looked through the window, into the dimly lit house, they must have moved upstairs while your Peter was on the phone. You watched him toss his head back, his hands clapping together at something the oldest Spider Man was saying to him.

“I think, i’m not sure but i’m going to find out” Moving your attention to the small pond of water just off to the side of the house “That’s why i called, I just want to thank you for being patient with me, always being there for me and i know you’re going to be the best Captain America Sam, I’m so proud of you”

“Why does this sound like a goodbye?” He was putting the pieces together, and he wasn’t liking the finished product that connected in his mind, a puzzle he wasn’t sure he wanted to see the end of.

Letting out a shaky breath, your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest, blood was flowing heavily to your ears, you spun around finding those golden brown eyes, meeting yours and you knew with the way he was looking at you he could tell you were getting anxious.

Your eyes gazed into his, even at the distance you were you couldn’t help but feel that metaphorical string pulling you to him, screaming at you that you were doing the right thing for once “Sam it’ll never be goodbye, our paths will always cross again, it’s just a see you later”

“Y/n” he was changing his tone from friendly to his newly discovered Captain America voice “What’s going on?”

“Thank you for everything Sammy” Before he could respond you hung up, smashing your phone in the process, Tony made sure you could never be tracked and where you were planning on going your sure your phone wouldn’t work anyway.

You sighed, allowing yourself to feel the breeze around you that wasn’t your doing, like the universe was telling you that you were doing the right thing.

“Are you alright?”

You spun around, your hair blowing behind you “You ask me that a lot”

“I’m a curious person by nature”

“And look where that got you, what was it bitten by a radioactive spider?” You scratched the top of your head pretending to think

He placed his hands on his hips. “God you’re witty, I gotta say I love it.“ He paused taking a deep breath “ I can’t complain, it led me here” He took a step closer “And i just can’t stop but feeling like all the paths i took, all the winding roads, the bumps were all leading me here” he point to the ground

You were trying your best to stay calm, to slow your heart rate back down because you were getting into an emotional territory you haven’t been to in a long time, so you took a gulp of air “To this spot of grass?”

He slowly reached out, his palms were sweating, he couldn’t even hear your heart beating even if he wanted to because his was beating just as loud. He tried to calm down so he could hear yours, he wanted to make sure you were feeling what he was and this wasnt all just in his head, because there was no way, in a logical sense that he could feel this way so soon about someone he just met not to long ago that existed in another universe, this surely couldn’t be a coincidence, maybe Peter the other Peter was right, maybe you were meant to be his Y/n.

The way he felt when he was close to you was like he was floating which was such an extraordinary feeling but scary as well because it made him think what if this was just a dream and he mostly likely was but on the small chance he wasn’t he had to take the leap.

He’d been wrong so many times he just wanted to be right this one last time, this pull he was feeling towards you was real it had to be, he stopped believing in fate after Gwen but this had to be fate there was no other explanation for the feeling in his heart. He licked his lips, shaking his head “No, to you”

You felt like the air was knocked out of you, your heart pounding in your throat. He was so close, you could feel his warm breath on your face, chills ran up your arm “Peter”

“Tell me to stop and I will” He placed his hand ever so gently on your cheek

It was nothing like the one that used to be placed there, the one that lit a match, setting a fire in you and then let it burn in suffocating you in your glass house; till nothing was left but the ashes.

It was something you weren’t used to but god you wanted to be selfish, you were so ready to take and so you did, you lifted your lips to meet him.

When they connected you couldn’t help but feel a shock, this was it, this was him it had to be, he had to feel this too. You cursed at the stars because they were aligning but in a different universe.

You both pulled away, he rested his forehead on yours, between heavy breathing he mumbled out “That was..”

“Yeah..”

“Did you feel…” He paused because he knew if you knew what he meant you did feel it.

You nodded “I did”

He placed a piece of hair behind your ear, his forehead still resting on yours, he could see your eyes getting glossy “I know” he said sadly “Maybe in another universe” his thumb caressing your cheek “Another lifetime”

“Why not this one?” You spoke softly before he had the chance to question you, a glowing circle appeared in the middle of the lawn, the two of you jumped apart.

Just in time as the last two Peter’s made their way out the front door of the safe house.

“You two ready to go?” Your Peter pointed towards the two of you, his eyes lingering on you to make sure you were okay.

You nodded “Always”

I honestly am so in love with this fic ive had it in my head for so long, ive never had anything as planned out before as it is. I have the next part finished, will post it tonight or tomorrow, i dont wanna upload anything till i have the next next part done as well, im about 25% done part 8.

I have so many random scenes typed out to, i just need to find where they’ll fit since i dunno if you could tell im dragging this out a teeny tiny bit. I just wrote an intense scene and this is my favourite line in it so far (i think this will be after the fight scene);

“Bucky” You felt like you were swallowing knives saying his name “He was the moon, but you —“ Your voice shaky even though you’ve never been more sure in your life “You, Peter Parker, your the whole goddamn galaxy”

Love You More Masterpost

Love You More | pt.1

TASM!Peter Parker x reader (eventually), Bucky x reader (Past)

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: Angst

A/N: Ive always loved Andrew Garfields Spider Man, but ive never really got around to writing for him and now that im getting settled in my new house I thought why the heck not. My heart beats for Bucky Barnes so I of course had to find away to add him in here lol.

This fic will of course be based off NWH (SPOILERS) But its not at all going to follow everything down to a T, The only thing that’s going to be the same is the fact the Spider man’s are in our universe and they want to cure the villains.

And in case you get confused while reading, the reader was born in 1920, grew up with Steve and Bucky, her and Bucky were engaged before he enlisted. Bucky and Steves storylines are still the same. Will of course get more into their relationship in further parts! And how she got her abilities.

Never proof read or edited lol

Enjoy x

Masterlist

ps: I changed my username :P

Fall 2024

You were out of touch with the world and everything that was going on in it, which had to be a lot - it was always a lot. 

You finally mustered up the courage to leave your new home, scratch that apartment, nothing and no one was ever going to be home to you again.

You were done, done looking at the brighter side of things like Tony told you to do, you should have listened to Natasha, love was for children and you were so young when you fell in love with him, and the two of you were most certainly not children anymore.

Life was hard, you always knew it would be but you never in a hundred years expected your path to go the way it did. 

How did you get it so wrong? You couldn’t stop thinking maybe you shouldn’t have mustered up the courage to talk to the boy next door when you were an adolescent, that you should have just let it be and maybe you wouldn’t have been sucked into the whirlpool that was your life. 

That maybe you would have found a husband, had a couple of children and died at 80 like everyone you had ever known did. 

When you appeared out of thin air, you knew with everything you were made of nothing was right or where it should be and when that door in the white room opened up and Steve walked thru you couldn’t help but laugh, did you really die of heart ache and go to heaven, because that made more sense then it being 2011 when you could have sworn two seconds ago it was 1945 and Steve was dead. 

And you were waiting anxiously for Bucky to walk in the door Steve came through, because if he was dead, and you were dead, Bucky had to have been there too right?

Wrong.

You were oh so very wrong because it wasnt heaven, it was some safehouse on the outskirts of New York that some government agency called SHIELD occupied, and Bucky was still dead, Steve wasn’t and neither were you.

Fall 2012

“Were going to be okay y/n/n, i promise” His hand reached out to squeeze yours 

You gave him the best smile you could “How is any of this okay Steve? I have no idea how I’m here or why? I just went out for a walk after that lady told me about you and next thing i know im here? And you’re here, you’re supposed to be dead” You were standing up now and rain was hammering against the window “And he’s still gone, how is that fair? How is this okay?” 

A man burst into the room you were in “If you don’t calm her down were gonna be under water here in a few seconds”

Your eyes shot back to Steve “What’s he talking about?”

Steve sighed and stood up off the chair “I haven’t told her yet” 

The man rolled his eyes and adjusted his stance to face you “Look sleeping beauty, i know this is a lot, i get that i truly do, i feel for you, but we’re beating around the bush here”

“Stark” Steve warned 

The man waved him off, his brown eyes still staring into yours “You have powers, yes super powers, abilities whatever you wanna call em”

A crackle of thunder boomed from above you. 

He gave you a reassuring smile as he pointed to the window “All that, is you, your doing that”

Your mouth parted, you shook your head and averted your stare to Steve “He’s telling the truth y/n”

“I always am”

You took a step towards the window looking outside, you could feel it inside you, you closed your eyes, taking a deep breath, watching his smile play out behind your eyes. 

You felt them both behind you, Stark spoke “Pretty cool aint it”

Opening your eyes you see the rain dried up, a rainbow taking its place in the sky. 

Steve smiled at you, placing an arm around your shoulder he whispered in your ear “For Bucky”

You weren’t sure how you felt about that memory, you were so greatful at the time to at least have one of your boys back in your life. And you were so happy to have a new one, Tony meant so much to you, he was one of the best people you had the pleasure of meeting in your century long life. 

But of course that didn’t last long, nothing good ever does. 

You thought after what Tony kept telling you that this was ’it’, this was the big fight, the fight of your lives, you thought maybe you would have been able to pull a win out of thin air like the team always seemed to do even in a last second ditch effort. But that was when the team was whole, and not scattered, tossed around carelessly.

As you were on a planet in outer fricken space, you watched everyone slowly turn to dust, as the fight you thought for sure you’d win scatter into thin air like everyone seemed to be doing. You held onto Peter’s hand offering any support you could, but when he was gone your started to feel it. 

Summer 2018

“Tony” you voice was hoarse

He looked up from the spot Peter just was, your hand still where his left yours “No”

“I’m sorry”

Realization dawned in his eyes, leaning forward picking your hand up “No kid, not you too”

You watched your hand turned to dust “Its okay, its okay” 

While you were dusting away you weren’t sad, you knew that they were going to find a way to bring everyone back, to win. And even if they didn’t would being gone really be that bad? Surely you over stayed your welcome being over 100.

Till you and everyone was back but at a high cost, that you weren’t sure was worth paying.  Your home, the compound certainly was destroyed, and you lost some members of your family along their whole 5 year journey, another 5 years added onto your ticking time bomb of a life, you thought it was finally time for the light to stop flickering with tragic horrible unthinkable things, that it was time for it to stay on guiding you to the end of this dark twisting tunnel but you were so wrong, you always were. 

You weren’t even hurt, or heart broken, it would be an honour to feel something, anything but you were walking down the dark streets of New York and the rain was hitting your skin and it wasn’t calming or causing you joy like it use to it, it was just adding to the weight of all the burdens you were carrying. 

104 years

o n e hundred and four years, was a long time to be alive for, it was a number most people never even got the chance to see but you did. 

You’d hear people ramble about how Steve and you should be so grateful for getting the chance to live as long as you had, how lucky you two were to experience two such different decades but you didnt feel lucky or greatful, you felt betrayed and like your chance at ever being truly happy was ripped out from underneath you. 

You didn’t care for the powers you were burdened with, you wanted to go back, back before Steve was Captain America back to when Bucky was on one knee in front of that stupid oak tree outside of your parents old house with lit latterns scatteted along the lawn, back to when the ring was on your finger and not back with the owner. 

Back to before after you risked your life for the sake of your boys just to have them blind side you. 

Back to before Steve went back for a woman you had never even heard of till she was on your doorstep telling you about Steve and the crash. 

Before you went out of your way to fight to get the love of your life back, to when you waited and waited to finally have your chance at love with him just to have him call it off because neither of you were who you were back then. 

You had never felt more alone. 

Had never felt more betrayed. 

Then Steve left. 

Fall 2023

“You’re what?”

Steve sighed “When I put the stones back I’m going stay, I’m going to find her, I’m going to taste a bit of the life Tony was telling me to get it”

“You’re just gonna leave us, just like that?” Your hand ripped out of Bucky’s, you were standing up now “W-when we finally have a chance at being happy like before?!”

“Doll” Bucky tried to reach for your hand again

You stepped further away “I can’t believe after everything you’re just going to leave me again! What if something happens and, and your not here and we fail Steve” your exterior cracking

He stood up taking you in his arms as you sobbed, gripping onto him for what would be the last time“You’re not going to fail Y/n/n, because the world has you, and you have Bucky, you have each other”

-

Then Bucky left and took apart of you with him. 

-

Spring 2024

“I just feel it’s for the best right now doll” His eyes were pleading with yours, hoping that you would understand where he was coming from, but you didn’t. 

“I don’t understand Buck”

He placed his hand on the table reaching for yours but you pulled away placing your hand in your lap before he could grab it, you seen him swallow back the heart ache “I just, this is the first time in 70 years where I’m free and -“

“You want to be free from everything that reminds you of the past and that includes me?” Your voice was laced with betrayal. 

His mouth dropped he shook his head violently “No, not at all doll, I just want some time, time to figure out who i am now”

You nodded, pushing your chair back. 

“Don’t go please, i love y —“

You pulled your necklace out from underneath your shirt, unclasping it, taking it off, a single ring hanging off of it, you placed it beside his gloved hand. 

“You kept it?”

Licking your lips, tears welling up in your eyes “I waited for you, i fought for you, it was supposed to be you Buck, i thought it was gonna be us, i was wrong”

He picked up the family heirloom in between his fingers “Please keep it, it’ll always be yours, my heart will always be yours doll, i just need some time” 

You shook your head, putting your coat on “I’m tired of waiting Bucky”

That was 6 months ago, he tried to call you, you never answered, Sam showed up more than a handful of times, you never opened the door. When Steve passed you watched from a distance you watched Bucky look for you and Sam reassure him you’d be there because you had to be there it was Steve, but you never made an appearance like they wanted.

Were you really that bad at making choices? So bad that you’d never be anyone’s first choice.

Your fingers trailed over the old oak tree with a heart engraved in it with ’Y/N + Bucky = Always & forever’. 

What a lie, what a sham. 

Your hand gripped onto the tree, your nails digging into the bark till they were bleeding you let out an agonizing scream till the rain started to fall down rapidly, the wind picked up, the sky screamed with you and the roots from the tree ran up it cracking it down the centre till the heart wasn’t whole anymore, matching yours perfectly. 

A buzzing in your pocket pulled you away, you prayed it wouldn’t be him and maybe luck was finally on your side because as the raindrops littered across your screen the name ‘Peter Parker’ illuminated your phone. 

You let out the breath you were holding “Hi Pete”

“Y/n, I-I need your help, i messed up so bad, i’m sure you have a lot going on but i just, i need help, p-please”

The rain eased up, the sky no longer crackling with heartbreak. 

You took your hand off the tree, spinning around as your wet hair was sticking to your face. “Of course Pete, whatever you need, I told you I’m always here for you kid, where are you?”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you — “ You could hear him letting out the breath he was holding “That safe house, the one just north of where the compound use to be”

The one you woke up in.

“Okay, I’ll be there as soon as i can, do you need me to bring anything?”

You were fast walking waving your hand at any taxi you could till one finally stopped. 

“Just be ready for anything”

A fight, be ready for a fight. 

“I’ll see you soon Pete”

“Bye Y/n”

You hung up “Just drive straight i’ll tell you when to stop”

You rested your head on the back of the seat, your head pounding along with your heart. 

The driver peaked in the rear view mirror “You’re that Avenger right? The one that can like-“ he paused making gestures with his hands “Like control earth or something like that, right?”

You sighed “Something like that, yeah”