Hydra agent #1: *Points weapon at Y/N and Bucky* What is your purpose in this base?
Hydra agent #2: Yeah. And no lies.
Y/N: Well, then, I confess, it is my intention to commandeer one of these ships.
Y/N: Pick up the rest of the Avengers in Switzerland, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out.
Hydra agent #2: I said no lies!
Y/N and Bucky: *Looks at each other and rolls their eyes*
Y/N, to Bucky: You take idiot number one and I’ll take idiot number two.
Bucky: You got it.
*A few moments later*
Y/N: Well that was easy.
Bucky: Yeah, tell me about it.
Y/N: Say, why don’t we go get some pizza before we go pick up the others?
Bucky: Alright! But you’re paying this time.
Y/N: Aw, come on! I paid last time.
Bucky: No, you didn’t. You drove us to get pizza then you “accidentally” left your wallet in the truck, went to go get it and didn’t come back in until I paid.
Y/N: Pfft! I- thought I left it in the truck! *Mumbles* it just so happens I had it in my jacket the whole time…
Bucky: Ya know I have super hearing right?
Y/N:…
Y/N: *Starts running* Last one to the ship pays for pizza!!
Being caught in the cross hairs of The God of Mischief would scare a saner person but not you, you enjoy it. There’s just something about Loki that draws you to him, and you couldn’t help it even if you wanted to. Tricking the Trickster is exhilarating but you quickly find yourself becoming attached to him as you’re unwillingly dragged on the adventure of a lifetime.
While The Avengers race to get you out of Loki’s clutches, you find yourself teaming up with him to try and defeat an enemy who threatens everything you hold dear.
When you’re tangled up with the God of Chaos, there’s no way of winning and it’s anyone’s guess which you’ll lose first, your heart or your life?
All his attention was on you, like the two of you were the only ones here, which you most certainly weren’t. His eyes gazing into yours like they held the whole god damn universe, which they didn’t but to him it was so closest he would get to the stars. Like how could anything else possibly matter besides this exact moment. He was waiting so patiently but eagerly for the words to flow out of your mouth. Like your lips held the key to world peace — his world.
“I’ve always done what was asked of me, what i thought i was supposed to do. Everyone has always made my choices for me but… this time — this choice is all mine. I am choosing this, i am choosing you”
A/N: Fight scene is next! Not looking forward to that i suck at writing them so i’ll probably stick close to the script for that or just be very vague with it, not edited or proof read!
Sam stood on his front porch, his phone still clutched in his hand as he stared at the call log. He let out a breath, hitting your name bringing the phone to his ear, when he heard it go straight to voicemail he let out a groan, squeezed his phone so hard that if he had that serum running through his veins he definitely would have crushed his phone.
He was feeling a mixture of emotions, he was frustrated with how vague you were, he was mad at Bucky for clearly not telling him everything he seen the headlines about you, the video footage of you walking out on Bucky followed by lightning lighting up the sky he thought it was just a fight, an argument because he knew first hand how stubborn Bucky could be but you were always so reasonable, Steve use to tell him you were the glue that kept them together, he was hoping that would be the case with Bucky, you and him.
He knew this wasn’t going to be easy, everything changed but he gave you your space, gave you time but 6 months was such a long time. He was nervous every goddamn day he would check his phone from any sign that you were alive and well, he would check the news. When he heard in the news a single lightning strike cracked a 100 year old tree in half, he felt some sort of relief but it was clearly intentional, he tried to get Bucky to talk to him but he was like a broken record with the whole “None of your business”
But he was so fucking nervous right now, that sounded like a goodbye and not just a see you later one like you told him but a your never gonna see me again goodbye. His mind couldn’t stop playing one of the last conversations with Steve he ever had about you on repeat.
2023 - A little before Steve Rogers Passing
“Hey Sam?”
“Yeah Cap?”
A small smile played on his face “You know you can stop calling me that, the shields yours”
An eye roll played out on Sam’s face “You’re always gonna be my Captain”
Nostalgia was written all over Steve’s face before it fell flat “Y/N hasn’t came by since the stones, i haven’t heard from her, im worried Sam”
“I’ve stopped by multiple times, called texted shes just not answering, I dont know whats going on”
“Bucky won’t tell me anything” he paused, liar Steve thought before continuing “They must be fighting again” a small smile on his face thinking of all Bucky’s and yours stupid fights.
Sam snorted “Makes two of us, i think shes just not handling all this” He gestured to Steve laying in a hospital bed “Well”
Steve nodded, he opened and closed his mouth, debating if he should say what he was thinking before starting “I know this is asking a lot of you Sam, but you need to look after her”
“You know i will Cap, always, shes family to me too”
“I’m gonna tell you something that only Y/N, Tony, Fury and I knew, you can’t tell Bucky it’ll just make things worse”
“Yeah of course, my lips are sealed”
Steve nodded “Y/n, she didn’t just go for a walk, fall asleep and wake up here” he referred to the 2000’s “She died”
Sam’s mouth dropped “What? that wasn’t in any file?”
“I know because we decided it was best kept a secret but a little bit after she woke up she couldn’t remember much but it came back to her, she was hysterical, we had to sedate her. It was like everything she felt before hit her all at once…. but we got her to talk, it wasn’t uncommon after the war for people to commit suicide”
Sam’s eyes went wide not liking where this was headed.
“Y/n, she lost us, she didn’t have anyone left. She attended not one but two funerals where there was no body, I couldn’t imagine what she felt.” Steve brought his eyes to look at Sam’s because he didn’t want to say it and he knew with Sam he wouldn’t have to “She, did it Sam, she went to — and she did”
“Steve, that’s a lot” Sam got up, he started pacing near the foot of the bed “That changes everything, i gotta —“
Steve cut him off “I know its a lot as long as you know she’s in there and alive that’s all that matters Sam”
“Why didn’t you tell Bucky, that’s his girl”
“He went through a lot, he was healing, she was healing, she promised me everything was fine”
“He’d kick down that door if he knew”
Steve had a small smile “Yeah i know he would, he wouldn’t let her out of his site, she’s his everything”
“Any idea why they’d be fighting?”
Steve shrugged “Can’t say i do Sam” he knew of course he did, Bucky came to him 2 weeks ago asking for advice about you. How he didnt know he was anymore, didn’t know who you were anymore. That he didn’t want to drag you through the dark tunnel of finding out who he was now, Steve told him that was stupid.
That’d you’d be more hurt by him saying he needed space, that he needed time because the two of you were already on borrowed time. Steve promised he wouldn’t say anything no matter how badly he wanted to, because he hoped at the time the two of you would sort this out before it was time for him to go but by the looks of things that wasn’t the case. It was a secret that was coming with him to the grave, he knew Bucky would tell Sam when he was ready, when that trust was built he just hoped it wasn’t gonna be too late.
The front door swung open “What the hell Sam? Was that y/n?! Don’t even lie to me i heard you say her name” Bucky’s brows were creased, pointing his finger at Sam.
Sam didnt say anything quite yet, he could see the smoke coming out of Bucky’s ears, he knew he had to tell him. It was the only way he couldn’t think of any other excuse that he wouldn’t question “We should go inside”
Sam turned to walk inside but Bucky grabbed his arm to stop him. Sam stared in his eyes. He could tell how worried he was, he could see the panic, the heartache, the sacrifices but most importantly the love he had for you.Sam kept walking nodded for Bucky to follow him to the table, he could hear his heavy footsteps trailing behind him.
He pulled a chair out and plopped down, Bucky stood there with his arms crossed “Sit down Buck”
“No”
“Bucky sit down”
Bucky lingered a little longer before giving in, pulling out the chair across from Sam “You better start talking Sam”
“I will, under one condition you don’t interrupt me and know I only didn’t tell you because Steve made me promise”
Bucky nodded so Sam started “One of the last time’s i went to visit Steve, he told me something that only he, Fury, Stark and of course y/n knew. It wasn’t in any of her files for good reasons, it was only needed to know per situation information, that’s why he didn’t tell you. He knew you were recovering, you were bettering yourself and this would have held you back, he told me he knew y/n would tell you when she was ready” He paused “What do you know about the night she disappeared?”
Still a scowl on his face he responded “That Peggy told her about Steve, after the funeral she just disappeared. Steve told me she fell asleep by our spot, that she just woke up and it was 2012, the ground absorbed her or something, right?”
Sam shook his head “She didn’t fall asleep Buck”
“What do you mean she didn’t fall asleep? So Steve lied to me?”
“Bucky, she died”
Bucky stood up, his chair flying back “What do you mean she died? So she’s a ghost?! Stupidest thing i’ve ever heard!” He was pacing now. “Why’d they lie to me!” He slammed his fist down on the table making Sarah jump in the kitchen
“She committed suicide” Sam wanted to break eye contact with Bucky because now he knew what you meant when you told him how Bucky’s ocean eyes would suck you in like a whirl pool, and Sam was drowning trying to get out as they filled with water
Bucky shook his head “No, no, no why would she do that Sam? Did he say why she would do that, my girl wouldn’t do that, she, she — “
“She lost both of you Buck, she lost you then she lost Steve. You two were all she had, man. There were no bodies to bury, she never got closure. Can’t imagine what she was feeling”
Bucky walked over taking a seat on the couch, he had millions of questions that he was scared to ask since the answer to his last one was weighing him down he was sure this was one he’d never be able to get off his shoulders.
“Steve said they ran tests and they were never able to find out how she was resurrected but there assuming it had to do with her powers there was no other logical explanation”
Bucky nodded, as silence took over for a brief moment, the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Till Bucky jumped up off of the couch “She lost Steve”
“We all lost Steve”
“No you dont get it” Bucky ran his hands down his face “She lost Steve, and I - fuck, im so stupid. I wasn’t thinking, “I gotta call her Sam, this is bad, do you think she w-would do it again?”
“Woah Buck, slow down” Sam was standing now “What are you talking about?”
“I told her I needed time, Sam, she gave me the ring back, we broke up. She lost me then she lost Steve”
“Did Steve know?”
“Of course he knew, he told me i was stupid, i am stupid”
“He knew, that’s why he told me, he knew she was gonna lose both of you all over again” Sam’s eyes widened “That was her on the phone, she told me she was proud of me, she was saying goodbye Buck”
“Well, call her back!” Bucky shouted
“I tried it goes straight to voicemail”
“She called me” Bucky whispered “A day ago, she didn’t say anything but I could hear her, then she just hung up” he paused “What if she already…”
“Don’t say it Buck, she’s not, she can’t be”
“We gotta go now, we gotta go to her place and kick her door down!” Bucky was already walking to the door
“48 hours ago a single lightning strike hit a 100 year old tree in the park” Sam blurted out
Bucky froze he knew exactly what he meant, and he knew exactly what you were doing when you did that “She let me go” he whispered, wiping the tear that escaped before turning around “She was letting me — usgo” his voice cracked
“Do you know where else she could have gone?
“Hey guys?” Sarah spoke from the kitchen “I hate to interrupt but you might wanna see this”
Both men entered the kitchen staring at the TV as Spiderman was on a video call with a news reporter but with his mask off.
“Just the truth.” Spiderman spoke
“Oh sure.” Jameson rolled his eyes
“I thought he wore a mask for a reason?” Bucky questioned
Sarah’s eyes widened “You two missed a lot while you were fixing that damn boat, they revealed his identity just some kid named Peter Parker from queens” she shrugged
“The truth is, that this is all my fault. I accidentally brought those
dangerous people here”
“Well, he admits it!”
“And if those people are watching, just know that I really did try to help you. I mean, I could have killed you -“ Peter says before holding up some weird box, Bucky and Sam look at each other briefly before Peter starts talking again “At any given moment. But I
didn’t. Because my Aunt May taught me that everyone deserves a second chance. And that’s why I’m here”
“And where is “here” exactly?”
“A place that represents second chances” He turns the camera slightly and you can see him at the top of the statue of liberty, as the camera turns back around for a brief second Bucky and Sam could have sworn they saw you before the camera turned back fully on Peter.
“Did you see that?” Bucky asks
Sam nodded “She did promise Stark she’d watch out after Spiderman, and if Peter is Spiderman shes gonna watch out after him to”
“The Statue of Liberty?! Good God, folks, he’s about to destroy another national landmark”
“But world, if you’re watching–“
“Believe me, the world is watching–“
“Wish me luck. Your friendly neighborhood SpiderMan could really use some.”
Peter’s video ends, Bucky turns to Sam “Do you have his phone number?”
“When i became Captain America they auto synced phone numbers in my phone, i’m not sure” Sam reached in his pocket
“Well check!” Bucky groaned
“What the hell do you think i’m doing?!” He started scrolling through his contacts “At least we know she’s alive”
“Yeah but not safe, what bad guys, plural might I add, is he talking about?”
“I got it, i found it” He turned his phone around to show Bucky ‘Spiderman’
Bucky ripped the phone out of Sam’s hand and hit call puting it to his war
“No. I got no time for uh, Peter Parker stuff, you know? —
Do you?”
“Uh, that’s a little complicated”
“No, I understand. I guess it’s just not in the cards for guys like us”
“Well, I wouldn’t give up. It took a while, but we made it work”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, me and Mj, my Mj — It uh, it gets confusing here” Peter 2 smiled slightly before noticing the grim look of heartbreak on Peter 3s face, he continued “You don’t think you have one?”
He shook his head “Nah, those days are long behind me” he smiles looking out the window at you, the way the wind was blowing in your hair made you look like the most angelic human he’s ever seen, he watched the way the moonlight shined off the side of your face perfectly illuminating the swoop of your nose down to your lips setting his heart best into a frenzy. You looked slightly anxious and he wanted nothing more than to make sure you were okay.
Peter 2 followed his eyeline, when his eyes found you he couldn’t help but grin,looking back at the other Peter “All our universes might have a couple things in common but doesn’t mean all of them have to have everything in common”
“Whaddya mean?”
“I mean like you two have web shooters, I don't”
“Now you’re just bragging” Peter 3 tossed his head back laughing, he could feel your gaze on him.
He laughed, “No no, just wait, I’m getting there. And maybe our two share an MJ” he gestured to himself and the youngest peter who was still down stairs on the phone waiting for the last cure “but maybe there’s another universe out there where another Spiderman is like me” He paused briefly “Or one where Peter has ay/n instead of an MJ”
He looked down fiddling with his mask “I don’t think my universe has either”
“Maybe that’s because your y/n is here”
“Hey! Are you two ready?” The youngest Peter popped back up the stairs “Final cure is finished, Neds gonna portal us over there any second now, then ill take a video and send — Wheres y/n?” He stopped realizing you weren’t in the room.
“She’s still on the phone” Peter 2 gestured to the window
Peter 1 walked over to the window “She looks anxious” He placed the bag containing the cures on a small side table “I should go check on her” He started towards the door.
The eldest Peter gave Peter 3 a look, a knowing look as he raised his eyebrow, nudging his head towards the door. Peter 3’s eyes went wide in realisation.
He jumped up off the stool “Is it okay if I go instead?”
Peter 1 stopped, turning around he looked at Peter 2 who nodded then back to Peter 3 “Y-yeah of course but we have to go any second now, okay?”
Peter 3 noded fiercely “Yeah, of course i’ll be fast” he never felt like he was moving so slow but so fast in his life. His heartbeat was speeding up the closer he got to you.
“Y/n, holy shit, what are you up to? It’s been…” He paused you could see his demeanour changing when the realisation dawned on him exactly how long it had been “way too long”
You could hear Bucky and some girl talking in the background before Sam was shushing them. He mumbled “Dont worry about it” and then you could hear a chair being pushed back.
He moved on was all you could think about after hearing him laughing with a female voice, and of course Sam was leaving the room so you wouldn’t have to hear it. “Yeah” you let out an airy breath “It has been”
“I stopped by a few times”
“I know”
“I called, i texted, Buck he wouldn’t tell me anything y/n, you were – you are like family to me, I wanted us to stick together it’s what Steve wanted and, I-I didn’t even see you at the funeral”
“I’m sorry Sam, i just -“ you sniffled “It’s been hard since, everything” you paused “Im trying”
“Don’t apologise, you never have to apologise to me for anything. We were supposed to stick together as a team, a family. I’ll always be here for you, i’m just happy to hear your voice i was worried for awhile”
“I was at the funeral, I was just…”
“Hiding?” Sam finished for you
“Yeah”
“Why?”
“I just needed some time, We lost so many people, Steve left, Bucky left, i just needed to wallow, comprehend everything look for the light at the end of the tunnel”
“Did you find it? The light”
You looked through the window, into the dimly lit house, they must have moved upstairs while your Peter was on the phone. You watched him toss his head back, his hands clapping together at something the oldest Spider Man was saying to him.
“I think, i’m not sure but i’m going to find out” Moving your attention to the small pond of water just off to the side of the house “That’s why i called, I just want to thank you for being patient with me, always being there for me and i know you’re going to be the best Captain America Sam, I’m so proud of you”
“Why does this sound like a goodbye?” He was putting the pieces together, and he wasn’t liking the finished product that connected in his mind, a puzzle he wasn’t sure he wanted to see the end of.
Letting out a shaky breath, your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest, blood was flowing heavily to your ears, you spun around finding those golden brown eyes, meeting yours and you knew with the way he was looking at you he could tell you were getting anxious.
Your eyes gazed into his, even at the distance you were you couldn’t help but feel that metaphorical string pulling you to him, screaming at you that you were doing the right thing for once “Sam it’ll never be goodbye, our paths will always cross again, it’s just a see you later”
“Y/n” he was changing his tone from friendly to his newly discovered Captain America voice “What’s going on?”
“Thank you for everything Sammy” Before he could respond you hung up, smashing your phone in the process, Tony made sure you could never be tracked and where you were planning on going your sure your phone wouldn’t work anyway.
You sighed, allowing yourself to feel the breeze around you that wasn’t your doing, like the universe was telling you that you were doing the right thing.
“Are you alright?”
You spun around, your hair blowing behind you “You ask me that a lot”
“I’m a curious person by nature”
“And look where that got you, what was it bitten by a radioactive spider?” You scratched the top of your head pretending to think
He placed his hands on his hips. “God you’re witty, I gotta say I love it.“ He paused taking a deep breath “ I can’t complain, it led me here” He took a step closer “And i just can’t stop but feeling like all the paths i took, all the winding roads, the bumps were all leading me here” he point to the ground
You were trying your best to stay calm, to slow your heart rate back down because you were getting into an emotional territory you haven’t been to in a long time, so you took a gulp of air “To this spot of grass?”
He slowly reached out, his palms were sweating, he couldn’t even hear your heart beating even if he wanted to because his was beating just as loud. He tried to calm down so he could hear yours, he wanted to make sure you were feeling what he was and this wasnt all just in his head, because there was no way, in a logical sense that he could feel this way so soon about someone he just met not to long ago that existed in another universe, this surely couldn’t be a coincidence, maybe Peter the other Peter was right, maybe you were meant to be his Y/n.
The way he felt when he was close to you was like he was floating which was such an extraordinary feeling but scary as well because it made him think what if this was just a dream and he mostly likely was but on the small chance he wasn’t he had to take the leap.
He’d been wrong so many times he just wanted to be right this one last time, this pull he was feeling towards you was real it had to be, he stopped believing in fate after Gwen but this had to be fate there was no other explanation for the feeling in his heart. He licked his lips, shaking his head “No, to you”
You felt like the air was knocked out of you, your heart pounding in your throat. He was so close, you could feel his warm breath on your face, chills ran up your arm “Peter”
“Tell me to stop and I will” He placed his hand ever so gently on your cheek
It was nothing like the one that used to be placed there, the one that lit a match, setting a fire in you and then let it burn in suffocating you in your glass house; till nothing was left but the ashes.
It was something you weren’t used to but god you wanted to be selfish, you were so ready to take and so you did, you lifted your lips to meet him.
When they connected you couldn’t help but feel a shock, this was it, this was him it had to be, he had to feel this too. You cursed at the stars because they were aligning but in a different universe.
You both pulled away, he rested his forehead on yours, between heavy breathing he mumbled out “That was..”
“Yeah..”
“Did you feel…” He paused because he knew if you knew what he meant you did feel it.
You nodded “I did”
He placed a piece of hair behind your ear, his forehead still resting on yours, he could see your eyes getting glossy “I know” he said sadly “Maybe in another universe” his thumb caressing your cheek “Another lifetime”
“Why not this one?” You spoke softly before he had the chance to question you, a glowing circle appeared in the middle of the lawn, the two of you jumped apart.
Just in time as the last two Peter’s made their way out the front door of the safe house.
“You two ready to go?” Your Peter pointed towards the two of you, his eyes lingering on you to make sure you were okay.
A/N: Ive never had a story planned like the way this one is, so its just an absolute breeze to write. In case theres any confusion this is a flashback part of the reader briefly during the couple months after Endgame + after Bucky told the reader he needed space.
You sat in the same spot you’ve been in since you got home from what you thought was your first real date with Bucky since the 1940s but you were so wrong. Disgustingly wrong.
You werent mad at him you could never be mad at him but god was your hesrt fucking shattered. You have no idea why you even bothered to get your hopes up anymore, especially after everything you’ve been through. How the hell did you not learn by now?
You were a mess and even that was an understatement you were a shell of a shell of a person you once were. Steve would have tried to talk some sense into you, try to reason with you about how the world needed you, and you’d reluctantly give him a nod, swallowing any and all feelings to the pits of your mind, turning into what he wanted, a soldier ready for a war.
Or, Tony would come by and first try to coax you out with humour. If he would even see a sliver of what he thought was a smile or a groan that sounded like it could be a laugh he’d consider that a win, and even though he tried so hard to be cool and collected because he had to be, he would let a sliver of that giant heart out and how could you say no to pushing through this for someone who wanted the best for everyone and only saw the best in you.
And Nat, would sit and wallow with you until you were done. She’s there for you without doing too much but it was more than enough. She’d make sure you got off your ass and took care of yourself. She’d put you before the mission, before the avengers, before herself. And seeing her show you such love even if it was subtle and not in spoken words but actions, you’d be sure as hell to show her you accepted that love and got off your ass.
Your mind played out each scene. You felt the way Natasha would lean down in front of you, the way Tony would give you a shoulder squeeze pulling you in for a side hug, the way Steve’s voice would bounce off the walls. It’s like you could see them, feel them, hear them but they of course weren’t there.
None of them were here anymore. They were all gone, they all left. They’re all dead and not coming back.
Your eyes were focused on the TV playing in the background, well was playing in the background till you saw the ‘NEW CAPTAIN AMERICA’ flash across the screen and it most certainly wasn’t Sam.
You tried your best to get your ears to focus but you could only hear ringing, you pulled yourself back in just in time to hear the woman on TV talking about you and your family.
“Now that Steve Rogers, Tony Stark and Natasha Romanoff are gone, who do we have left to save us if something happens again?”
The male news anchor weighed in “We have Spider Man”
“He’s got to be just a kid, the Falcon — Sam Wilson gave up the shield that Steve Rogers gave to him, how can he be reliable after that”
“Y/N Y/L/N”
She scoffed “How can we rely on someone who falls off the edge of the world after The Winter Soldier breaks up with her? The video of her aggressively walking out of that restaurant went viral for a reason and it wasn’t because of her being an Avenger but from the storm that followed, she should be locked up, someone with her capabilities she’s too unpredictable, unsteady”
“Now Sally, don’t you think you’re being a little too harsh on the girl? She lost her family while trying to help bring the rest of the worlds theres back”
“All I’m saying is when you’re a human with super abilities you have a certain responsibility to uphold and she’s just not doing that for me. I think the Avengers are over. I don’t feel safe with people like them hiding right under our noses”
“Y/N i know you’re in there, open up doll please” His voice was soft he was resting his forehead on the door. It had been almost a month since he last saw you. He walked by your apartment countless times. It was nowhere near his or near his therapist office but it was the only way he could feel close to you any more.
Especially when you wouldn’t answer his calls, you wouldn’t answer his texts and the only reason he figured out how to remotely do that was to reach out to you but he settled for listening to your voicemail the “Hi you’ve reached Y/N if you have this number odds are your probably in the compound with me and are too lazy to come find me” it would pause and you could hear Natasha in the background say “It was one time… okay maybe more than 10” then Steve and your laughter was heard before you continued “But if not i guess leave a message” then Tony shouted “She won’t get back to you bye!” before the beep was heard.
But 4 weeks was far too long he had to know you were alright. Sam told him he stopped by 2 weeks ago and could hear the TV on, and see your shadow under the door but you weren’t answering him either. So Bucky was hoping this wasn’t about him telling you he needed time. He felt so stupid doing that, he talked about it with Steve after you left, the night Steve told the two of you he was going to stay.
Steve told him he was being stupid, that it wasn’t by chance all three of you were alive just like it wasn’t by chance when he went to collect the infinity stones with Tony he just so happened to hide in Peggy’s office. It wasnt by chance, it was simply fate.
Bucky knew he was being stupid, he knew everything Steve and you had done for him, to get him back to save him. All the sacrifices you made but it was just so easy for Steve to toss him and you to the side he was scared that once you realized he wasn’t the same Bucky anymore you’d do the same. But you also weren’t the same Y/N he fell in love with anymore and nothing scared him more than falling out of love with you.
What was a little more time he thought?
You stood there staring at the door, you could see his shadow from under the door frame. You felt like you were on fire, it was quite literally possible for you to set yourself on fire too and you would set yourself on fire if it meant Bucky was here to beg for you back with ring in hand.
“Please, it’s about the shield about Steve. We need to get it back, back to where it belongs”
Burning.
“I’m done Buck” Your voice was hoarse, your throat scratchy, you’re positive he wouldn’t have even heard it if it wasn’t for the serum.
“What do you mean you’re done?” He banged a little harder “Open the door, let’s talk please”
“Go away, James. I don’t want you here”
He scoffed “You’re really going to do this? After everything Steve did for you?”
You winced, the glass cup in your hand shattering to the ground, water pooling around your feet. Putting out the fire that was burning in you momentarily.
It was silent for too long you didnt move, you stood there in the water, surrounded by glass shards.
“Y/N I didn’t — Im sorry” And he stood there a little longer, the floor creaked as he walked away.
“Bucky told me he came by” Sam paused hoping you’d say anything, he felt stupid talking to a door so he closed his eyes and pretended it was you “Y/N i know your hurting, i cant try to help you or to try and understand what your feeling unless you let me in. We dealt with loss and it hurts. I get that I do but we need to carry on for them, we need to pave the path for the future.”
You were laying on your couch watching your ceiling fan spinning around and around. It had been 12 weeks since Bucky stopped by, he didn’t call, he didn’t text. You were almost positive that this was Sam’s last effort in trying to coax you out but the truth was he wasn’t Natasha, he wasn’t Steve, he wasn’t Tony. And you weren’t even you.
You wanted to try so bad for Sam, he was so good, he was light, he was airy, and god was he so easy to talk to. Maybe that was why you couldn’t bring yourself to talk to him because then everything would come bubbling over, who knows what would happen then. Sally, the news lady was right, you were unpredictable, unsteady and not safe to be around. You didnt even wanna be around you anymore.
“I’m not sure how much of the news you’ve seen but a lot has happened” Pause “Bucky and I are going to work again, who knows we might even become friends, he’s going to help me with our family boat — We could use your help to, not just with the boat but to keep us from killing each other” He let out a small laugh “Ill text you where we’ll be, call me anytime y/n. Take care of yourself”
The floor started to creak, he was leaving. You tried to imagine what Sam looked like standing there, the truth was you forgot what he looked like, you forgot what they all looked like, they were burning memories fraying away. You’re sure you’d forget the sound of his voice in a couple weeks too, just like you did with all of them.
Masterlist|A/N: Will not follow NWH story line to a T, Ill try my best to stick to the MCU timeline but if I don’t, sorry!
“I love him, but I will always love you more”
Bucky was your everything, you fought teeth and nail till he was free from his own mind, so you could finally have your chance to be together, because surely the fact you were both alive in 2024 it had to be destiny.. right? But then he broke your heart and everything you thought you knew with it, will some boy from another universe be able to pick up the pieces you wanted sobadlytoburry
YALL IM SO EXCITED FOR PART 6 its gonna be a flash back of those 6 months when reader went AWOL and shit everyone out during when Bucky said he need ‘time’
Masterlist|A/N: Will not follow NWH story line to a T, Ill try my best to stick to the MCU timeline but if I don’t, sorry!
“I love him, but I will always love you more”
Bucky was your everything, you fought teeth and nail till he was free from his own mind, so you could finally have your chance to be together, because surely the fact you were both alive in 2024 it had to be destiny.. right? But then he broke your heart and everything you thought you knew with it, will some boy from another universe be able to pick up the pieces you wanted sobadlytoburry
Pairings: Bucky x reader, Natasha x reader (Platonic sorta), Steve x reader (Platonic)
Word Count: 3.5k
A/N: Found this deep deep in my drafts so that’s cool, its not edited or proof read, just trying to clear old fics out! There will be a part 2 I never finished this or made a part two when I wrote this so working on that now! Enjoy
Bucky and you had a long history, and I don’t mean long as in only a decade but 7 of them.
You were the girl next door literally,you grew up directly next door to Bucky. You moved in right before puberty hit not just the boys but you too.
It was always just you three and it was the first time you had any real friends, your father was part of the army, science sector of it so you were constantly moving never having enough time to actually make any life long friends let alone fall in love but when he went missing, later discovered dead in some secret lab he had under your house, your mother and you packed up and moved to the city that everyone wanted to live in, New York.
With the endless amount of possibilities or more so the endless amount of men your Mother could shack up with and have them support her and yourself. You didn’t mind of course as long as she was happy, you were happy.
That was until her latest husband David started yelling a lot, then he started drinking a lot, then he hit you for the first time. Your mother told you it was the wrong place at the wrong time, you walked into the house right as they were fighting and he struck you. You never said anything except went straight to your room, then climbed out your window back to where Bucky was.
And when he saw you, you broke down. He promised he’d always be here for you and you were the only girl that would ever have his heart. He was true to his word to a certain extent. That was until puberty hit and every girl was throwing themselves at him, it was inevitable he was gorgeous.
He went out with every girl in town, except for you because you weren’t as pretty as them even though he always would get drunk and end up climbing through your window instead of his, telling you just how you were the most beautiful girl he’d ever laid eyes on how he was so lucky to have you, but then the next day when you woke up he was gone, back out the window and back to holding some other dame in his arms.
But when the war got worse and people were getting their letters left and right you knew Bucky’s were coming and he stopped seeing other girls and he spent all his time with Steve and you.
It was different, he would hold your hand on the street, he would take you dancing, he would take you on dates. You found yourselves constantly under the sheets intertwined with one another and then one night when he thought you were sleeping he told you while running his fingers through your hair that it was only ever going to be you, it was only ever you and when he saw any future it was always with you.
He told you he was hopeless in love with you since the day he saw you standing by the moving truck holding a box and you tried your hardest not to open your eyes and tell him you were in love with him too.
The next day he enlisted and spent the last night he had with Steve and you at some Stark thing you cared nothing about but at the same time everything about because Bucky cared about it and you cared about Bucky.
And just like that he was gone and the first decade of your history had ended before it ever really started. When Steve showed up on your step to tell you about Bucky and to give you the book that Bucky wrote to you every single day, he told you he was going to avenge his death and he would come back to you, and then he never did either. When Peggy Carter knocked on your door to tell you about Steve you shut the door and shut anyone out that was left in your life.
Till sometime in the 50’s in the paper it said Howard Stark was looking for volunteers and you never forgot how much Bucky would beam at the opportunity so you showed up at the base and he said yes before you could even speak after hearing how you were Steve’s best friend.
You were injected with the closest hope to the next super soldier serum without the drastic physical changes. They called you Miss America, and you hoped you would have made your boys proud but when Howard noticed you weren’t ageing as you should they ran tests, discovering that your cells rengernated at an extremely fast rate now allowing you to age as you should before you could run more tests and possibly find an antidote or even how enchanced you really were, Howard was killed.
You were alone again, Peggy tried her best to keep you company and to keep you hidden, you should have been in your late 60’s like her but instead you looked 3 decades younger than her, she thought it would be best to fake your death so that’s what you did.
Y/N Y/L/N died in 1995 at the age of 75, your cause of death was undetermined. That’s when Lily Barnes was created, born in 1965 making you 30 years old, which is what you would stay looking for the next 2 decades, when they found Steve on ice you could have sworn you saw a wrinkle that was never there before.
When he found out Peggy was alive he was of course over the moon but when he saw you he couldn’t believe his eyes. He had Fury look into you and when he saw a death certificate, they found where you were buried and it was beside Bucky. But yet you were standing directly in front of him looking like you had only aged 5 years in the last 70. You told him everything, he was so mad at first but he came to terms with it when he realised he wasn’t going to be alone.
Fury tried to recruit you for the avengers but you wanted nothing to do with making new friends and losing them your heart simply couldn’t handle it. Fury understood told you he didn’t like it but he understood, he put you in a safe house Steve respected your wishes and besides Fury, Steve was the only one who knew where you were that until a red head knocked on your door, Steve beside her and he told you to suit up, you did no questions asked.
The next thing you knew you were on a jet, getting debriefed about someone by the name of Thano’s. But when you were getting close to a place called Wakanada, your heightened sense picked up on something you.
“Steve, what’s wrong?” You stood by Natasha putting all your weapons in their correct spot.
“What isn’t wrong?” Natasha tried to joke but you ignored it.
“Stevie” You asked again “You know I can tell that I can sense literally everything right?”
He gave you a soft smile “I forgot you were enhanced” he sighed “There’s something i haven’t told you”
“No shit” You smiled
“She doesn’t know?” Sam asked from the front seat, Steve shook his head in response.
“How much doesn’t she know?” Natasha whispered
“None of it”
Natasha looked at you, placing a hand on your shoulder “I’m sorry in advance, I didn’t know” she then proceeded to sit by Sam, giving Steve and you the space you apparently needed for this conversation.
“I’m so sorry y/n, i just, there was so much going on and you wanted to stay out of it and i know if you knew you would have been brought back in, but then Natasha happened and i didnt know about there history and he was so happy, I haven’t seen him smile like that since you, then Wakanda happened, he deserved to be free, he deserves to be happy and so do you and it was wrong of me not to say anything, your my best friend you took care of Peggy, I – “
“Steve, slow down, what are you talking about?” Your senses were in overload, you could feel every atom, every fibre in the air, alerting you that you needed to run, that you needed to fight.
He gave you the same eye’s he gave you when your Ma past, the same eyes he gave you when Bucky forgot about your birthday because Dot said yes to a date, the same eyes he gave you when he told you Bucky died. “He’s alive, Bucky’s alive”
“What? Steve that’s not funny”
“I know, I’m not joking” He reached just beside the shield and handed you a file that said CLASSIFIED in big red letters “Were arriving in an hour, I’m sorry I should have told you sooner, everything you need to know is in here. I’ll be right over there if you need me, I’m here for you”
The file was heavy in your hands, your mouth was dry. When you read his name at the top it felt you were swallowing a razor blade. You read everything as fast as you could, you held back tears, letting the metaphorically razor blade cut any emotions you wanted to have. You were angry, so angry, so hurt that this was kept from you, you wanted to kill Steve Rogers, you wanted to murder Captain America. But no more than you wanted to kill yourself, he was alive this whole time, the same time you were alive. You could have done something, why didn’t you know to do something? You should have felt he was still alive and in pain, he was your soulmate, he said you were soulmates. That was until you got to the second last page in the file, it was an HR paper from Stark Industries and your eyes were blurring with tears when you saw the world’s relationship and saw two signatures at the bottom one reading James Barnes and the other Natasha Romanoff.
“Landing in 5, 4, 3 – “ You heard Sam counting down, you placed the file down. You took a deep breath soaking in every fibre of information presented to you in the last hour. You stood up having an internal battle of whether you should kill Steve now or later, you wanted to strangle Natasha, but it wasn’t her fault, you couldn’t blame Bucky, she was amazing if you swung that way you would have fallen for her too, you should have known the second Steve told you he was alive, before you even opened the file, he always had a thing for redheads. You clipped your last knife to your thigh.
You gave Natasha a small smile and she returned it. You could feel Steve’s presence hovering beside you, as the doors whired open “Does he know?” you didn’t even look at Steve as the doors slowly opened.
“No” He sighed “Im so sore –”
You shook your head “Don't”
Natasha was the first one out, no doubt in your mind wanting to see Bucky, Steve followed shortly after, then Sam, then Bruce, the Rhodey, than you’
Her arms wrapped around his neck, her lips grazed his you heard her mumble an ‘i miss you’, that metaphorical razor you swallowed sliced your heart in half.
Steve hugged Bucky, whispering something to him and his blue eyes searched for you, disbelief written all over his face. He started to make his way to you, but stopped just before he could reach you, his eyes trailed over your figure, tears brimmed his eyes “Doll, I -”
You cleared your throat, shifting your demeanour from heart broken and love sick back to someone you swore you never wanted to be again and that was Miss America “We have a fight to win Sargent.”
He blinked a few times, shifting his gaze to Steve and he shrugged in return, he turned back to you “But I - “
Steve came up beside him “She’s right Buck”
Bucky looked like he was having an internal battle within himself before he nodded and the team made their way to the battle ground, Bucky never leaving your side, his pace stayed with you the whole time until the fight started, he kissed Natasha on the cheek wishing her good luck, before he got the chance to say something to you, your back was already turned getting in your fight stance.
You lost him for a while during the battle, while still keeping an eye on him without being too obvious. You did the same with Steve you knew he was more than capable and was no longer that little boy from brooklyn, even though you were still mad at him he was still your best friend, well one of them.
The fight dragged on, and when you thought you had any possible chance of winning, people started turning to dust all around you “no no no” you mumbled running closer to Steve, your eyes locked with Bucky “Y/n….” he trailed off before he was completely gone.
F i v e whole years.
Five whole years of losing Bucky again, five years of growing so close to Natasha you would consider her your best friend. It was just you two in the compound, you came back to the whole superhero lifestyle and tried your best to do anything you could to keep things running smoothly. It was hard half the fucking world was missing, but your whole world was.
You wanted to hate Natasha you did, she had everything you ever wanted in the palm of her hands and yet you couldn’t. She was everything you aspired to be. You were nothing like her and it made sense why Bucky kept anything you thought you had in the dark, it wasn’t because you thought he was savouring it, soaking up every moment, no it was because he was ashamed.
You wanted nothing more than to hate her, it would have made things so much easier but she was just as amazing as everyone made her out to be, you hoped you could somehow find a way to get Bucky back and selfishly you hoped he would wildy confess his undenying love to you but you knew that would never happen, and at the same time you were rooting for them, he was your everything then and she was your everything now.
You could push your heart break aside for decades again couldn’t you?
Could you die from a broken heart? You hoped it would make everything so much easier.
But you didn’t and here you were about to do fucking time travel. Standing on the platform you tried to tune out all the energy and nerves you could feel radiating off of everyone, a hand found its way on your shoulder “Were gonna get him back Natasha smiled at you before turning to the rest of your teammates, her family “See you in a minute”
“You know, i thought living as long as i have would have been the craziest thing to ever happen to me” You smiled thinking of all the crazy shit you experienced in your overly lived lifetime.
“But here we are, in space going to some place called Vormir, don’t be too full of yourself y/n’’ You laughed, bumping your shoulder against hers.
“Welcome” A voice echoed behind you. Grabbing your knife, Natasha reached for her gun. “Natasha, daughter of Ivan. Y/n, daughter of Lilith.
As you both made your way forward you tensed immediately recognizing who is in front of you.
“Who are you?” Natasha questioned, your knives still raised.
“Consider me a guide, to you and to all who seek the Soul Stone”
You eyed her cautiously before taking a step forward “Oh good, you tell us where it is, then we’ll be on our way”
Red skull looked at you “If only it were that easy”
He turned around starting to move forward, you looked at Natasha, she shrugged in response and then the two of you followed him near the edge of a cliff, what looked to be a sunset in the distance.
“What you seek lies in front of you, as does what you fear”
Natsha pushed ahead peering over the edge “The stones down there” Her back to you.
“For one of you” Red skull respond
You were overwhelmed, you could feel the stone, you could feel the calmness, the sureness radating off of Natasha, her pure willingness. Your feet dragged you forward, peaking over hoping the stone would be in reach, which you knew it wouldn’t be, because it would be crazy for something to be that easy.
“For the other” He continued “You must lose that which you love, an everlasting exchange” He paused dramatically, you swallowed the lump in your throat “A soul for a soul”
She took your hand in hers, pulling you away from the ledge. Taking a seat on a rock, while you leaned on one. You knew what you had to do, what had to be done “Y’know, I think our hopefully chatter doomed us”
She smiled at you “We cant seem to ever catch a break huh?”
“People like us never really do it seems”
She stood up turning to face you “And here i thought we found a little bit of break in each other the last 5 years”
You smiled back at her “It’s always too good to be true”
“Whatever it takes” She took your hand in hers
Swallowing back the lump in your throat “Whatever it takes”
She stared in your eyes, you felt nothing but love and longing radiating off of her “If we don’t get that stone y/n, millions of people stay dead, Barnes stays dead”
Nodding in agreement “He deserves a life Nat” You placed your other hand on hers “A great one and you —“
“I’m starting to think we mean different people here y/n”
“For the last five years Nat, all we’ve been trying to do is get to right here, that’s all its been about. Bringing every body back, getting Bucky back”
“Don’t you get all sappy on me now y/n/n”
“Nat..” you trailed off
“You think I want to do this? I’m trying to save your life you idiot”
You squeezed her hand “Yeah, well I don’t want you to. I’ve lived long enough Nat, this would be a great way to go” You smiled back your tears “Bucky has you, i have you” you looked off towards the sunset “It’s not that bad of a sight, y’know if its the last thing i see”
She placed her free hand on your cheek, turning your head to face her again “I loved Bucky” her eyes piercing into yours “But i love you more”
“No, Nat -“
“I wasn’t finished” Her thumb swept one out of a dozen fallen tears finding their way down your cheek “But he could never love me, his heart belonged to someone else but the little piece of it i got to see” she took a deep breath “was so good, so i know that when i do this it’ll be worth everything for you to finally get whats already been yours”
You shook your head as she brought your forehead to hers before she continued “Whatever it takes”
You savoured this moment the best and longest you could “Okay, you win” You released her hand before sweeping your leg under hers, placing your arm across her chest and pinning her down “Tell Bucky and Steve i love them”
She grunted before hitting your arm, and using her legs to flip you around before standing up and pointing her widow bite at you “You tell em’ yourself” before shooting it at you, an electrical charge attacked your body.
She started to run towards the edge before you recovered, grabbing your knife and aiming it at her leg grazing the side enough to knock her down.
Before you started to charge at full speed to the edge, as you were about to fall, she wrapped her arms around you shooting your grappling hook at the top of the cliff, you both swung back at full force smashing into the edge, you looked up “No no no” you tighten your grip on her but you could feel her slipping “How do you know i love you! This could be for nothing you dont know”
“I know”
You tried to reach her with your other hand for a better grip but failed
“Let me go”
“No” you sobbed “No please no”
“Its okay” she smiled
“Please” Tears were burning down your face, before she kicked off the wall her arm ripped from your grip.
“No!” You screamed till your throat was raw, as you looked down you saw her lifeless body laying there.
Everything went black and you could hear water running, you sat up frantically, you were no longer hanging off the cliff, as you lifted your hand out of the water a single stone laid in it. Your tears meshed with the water before you were being brought back.
“Did we get ‘em all?”
“Are you telling me this actually worked?”
You dropped to the ground, cheeks raw from crying, you could feel all eyes on you, “Y/n? Where’s Nat?” Bruce questioned, you turned to look at Steve, shaking your head no, avoiding all the other eyes because you wouldn’t dare look into there eyes, you were nothing to them.
TW: This story mentions su!cide read ad your own risk.
Word Count: 2k
A/N: I feel bad for not posting for awhile so I just went through my drafts and found this to post in the mean time. Im currently moving so super busy so having a hard time making time to write! Sorry x
Do you ever get to that point where everything just feels so god damn heavy.
Like the air around you is holding you down making it hard to even take a step forward and you want nothing more than to move forward but your stuck here watching everyone around you move on, leaving you in the dust because that’s where you were right now and every you loved was so far ahead you could no long reach forward and hold on to them for any kind of support.
The only thing you could do was fall, and you wanted to stay standing on your feet but the air was so heavy and your legs were giving out.
“Y/n?”
“Mmm?” Your eyes were darted up, searching for the face to the voice
Sam sighed raising his hand “I’m right here”
“Im sorry i was just in a daze”
He gave you a sad smile, his arms crossing over his chest “That’s been happening a lot lately, are you doing okay?”
Were you okay? How could you even answer that when you didn’t even know, you didn’t want to lie to Sam, it was Sam,he was your person when Bucky wasn’t here and Bucky hasn’t been here for 2 weeks because of a steak out mission he was on with Steve and you weren’t allowed to go because they only needed two people and you weren’t even in there roaster to be considered because of the incident.
You wouldn’t even call it an ‘incident’ because it was just a misunderstanding.
You weren’t suicidal at least you didn’t think you were at least not then, you didn’t mean to overdose but when you get tortured for 4 whole weeks the amount of pain your in after is a lot and you had a high pain tolerance so that was saying something you accidentally miscalculated when you were suppose to take your pain medication so you may have taken too much at once but everything hurt so fucking bad and you couldn’t wake Bucky because he barley got enough sleep and he looked so peaceful that night the way his eyelashes fluttered gently, and his perfect petal pink lips were slightly parted, no because that would have been selfish and the pain meds numbed everything anyway.
So you were on watch, even though that incidentwas a complete accident. Tony benched you until Cho cleared you and she wasn’t gonna clear you till Sam told her his honest opinion since you were abso-fucking-lutely not talking to another of of Stark’s half assed therapists and with Sam’s experience at the VA, they gave him the go ahead.
Here you were sitting on a couch in one of the compounds many meeting rooms with Sam sitting on a chair still staring at you waiting for a response. You loved Sam. He was patient, kind, empathetic and gave the best hugs. But you still didn’t have an answer for him.
You cleared your throat “When’s Bucky supposed to be back?”
“I’m not sure, check in is in —“ he paused to look at his phone “in about an hour”
You nodded, clicking your tongue trying to muster up the best smile you could, swallowing back the burning feeling in your throat fiddling your thumbs together.
“Y/n, you didn’t answer my question, i dont wanna push you but i care about you, your one of my best friends and i need you to be honest with me”
His brown eyes were peering into yours, they were soft with a hint of concern sparkling in them. Your heart rate started to spike, your palms were getting clammy, your eye sight blurring as tears threatened to spill over.
That heaviness you felt before was pushing you further into the leather couch, your palms were sticking to it like glue. You stood up abruptly your fight or flight kicking in “I can’t do this Sammy, i just can’t, its too much”
He stood up his hands were on your shoulders “You’re having a panic attack y/n, i need you to breathe with me”
You were shaking your head side to side, trying to follow his breathing but you had tunnel vision and the walls were caving in, the only thing you could see at the end of the tunnel washim “I need Bucky, i need Bucky, Sam” your hands were clawing at your throat trying to open it up to let air in “i need him, i can’t do this” You ran past him and out of the room, out of the compound.
Maybe if you kept running you could run to wherever Bucky was and you could be safe again, maybe the weight would be lifted off your shoulders.
You couldn’t breathe the air was suffocating you, the scars littering your body were burning, the ache in your heart was the only thing you could feel, the darkness clouding your mind telling you to go just close your eyes forever and all these feelings would just disappear, then you’d be how like you were before.
Before hydra, 4 months ago before they took you and kept you for weeks, before you the team finally found you, before you accidentally overdosed, before you were benched and before Bucky jumped at any chance to go on a mission to get away from who you were now. God you just wanted to go back to when you were you and not whoever you were now.
You couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe everyone might be better off without you.
If you weren’t here Sam wouldn’t be wasting a very rare day off spending the afternoon with you when you know he would much rather be anywhere else. If you weren’t here Bucky and Steve wouldn’t be steaking out the hydra base you escaped from. Tony wouldn’t have had to have held a press meeting taking away from his time with Pepper, Clint wouldn’t have come out of retirement to try and find you, Peter wouldn’t of missed the spring dance when he got the call they found you.
Everyone would definitely be better off without you.
Your thoughts were so loud you didn’t even hear the voice coming from behind you till you felt a hand touch your shoulder, you whipped around and it was Sam, he was holding his hand up letting you know he wasn’t going to hurt you like they did. He reached the phone out to you “It’s for you”
You shakily extended your hand grasping the phone in your hand bringing it to your ear, you didn’t say anything, you couldn’t say anything you were too busy trying to hold onto any air that you could.
“Doll?”
At the sound of his voice you choked out a sob and your knees gave out.
“You need to breathe for me okay? Can you try and do that please?”
You nodded frantically even though he couldn’t see you, you knew he would be able to hear the way your breathing slightly evened out.
You kept your eyes shut not bearing the possible waterfall that would escape them if you opened them. Maybe if the longer you kept the shut the better the chance you would have of drowning from the inside out.
“Good, that’s my girl” He paused waiting for you to respond but when he never did he continued “Sam told me what happened, are you okay?”
You shook your head no.
“Doll, i need you to talk to me”
“No” Your voice was quiet
You could hear him stand up, a chair sounded like it was being pushed back, and Steve mumbled something to him “What’s wrong? Were all here for you doll”
“But your not here Bucky”
He said something, you’re sure he did but the voice in your head was too loud to hear anything but your heart pounding in your ears.
You opened your eyes, staring at Sam as he was standing just a few feet away, you could see the worry lacing his face and you felt nothing but guilt, this was all your fault Bucky was risking the call being traced by hydra because of you.
You were selfish, you didn’t think of how much pain you were causing the people you loved the most around you, all because you weren’t strong enough to fight through the memories of what Hydra did to you. You were pathetic because Bucky went through 70 years of torture and you went through 4 weeks and were ripping at the seams.
You didn’t deserve any of them, you didn’t deserve to be an Avenger, you didn’t deserve to be here.
You were kneeling on the damp ground just at the base of where the trees surrounded the compound, past Sam you could see Tony pacing on the phone, surely talking to Ross about you and why the call was dragging past a minute.
And you knew, knew what had to be done.
Your bottom lip trembled “I love you James, so much” before you clicked the end button on the phone.
You sighed wiping away your tears, when Sam saw you pull the phone away from your ear he rushed over to help you up “How do you feel?”
“Thanks Sam” you handed him back the phone “for everything”
He put his arm around your shoulder holding you close to him “Of course y/n, what’s family for?”
The two of you made your way back towards the compound, Tony was no longer on the phone his arms were crossed at this chest “You okay kid?”
“I’m sorry”
He pulled you in for a hug “Nonsense, i needed someone to banter with today and he was the perfect candidate, so i should be thanking you”
You offered the best smile you could, you knew Tony saw right through it but he never said anything “Well i don’t know about you the two of you but i’m starving, was thinking pizza? Bump movie night up, my schedule is clear so that means everyone else’s is to”
Sam clapped his hands together “Now that’s the best idea i’ve ever heard come out of your mouth Stark”
A small laugh left your lips, you were gonna miss this.
“I’m gonna let that slide bird brain only because it made my favourite Avenger laugh”
“I’m gonna go to my room and freshen up okay?” you gestured to the dirt on you pants
“Yeah of course y/n/n, I got Friday on the pizza order, you think of a movie you wanna watch, Wilson will get the rest of the team and say we’ll see each other in an hour?”
You hugged Sam and Tony one last time “Sounds good boys, thank you for everything”
As you started to walk away you heard Tony tell “Uh were men?” and Sam laughed shouting “Don’t mention it”
By the time you got to your room, your mind was 99% made up.
The 1% you kept lingering on was Bucky. Would he miss you? Because you would miss him with everything in you. But you staying was going to hurt him more than you leaving. It was for the best, this was all for the best.
You sat down at your desk grabbing a pen and paper you started writing, the words flowed out like you were aching to say them for a long time, like somewhere inside of you had already thought and planned this out ages ago, but only now was it finally being executed.
This was where your story was meant to end, you were sure of it. You served your purpose, paid all your dues, it was your turn for peace and this was the only way you could think of finding it, if there was any.
You lined all 6 letters across the surface, smiling to yourself when they were spread perfectly, your eyes lingered on Bucky’s name and you picked it up, placing a kiss on his name, hugging it to your chest “I’m sorry” you said to no one but to everyone all at the same time.
Clicking the bathroom door shut, you turned the shower on, stepping in full clothed. You let out a shaky breath, a smile found its place on your face as your vision clouded, you were gonna see Natasha again.
You let the warm water soothe your skin, soaking in every droplet as you reached for the safety razor.
When Tony starts seeing the same person everywhere he goes, he gets a little anxious about their motives, what happens when that same person steps in when an ‘accident’ happens?
Requestedby@clapoftheass“hello, i hope i’m not bothering you by sending a direct message — this was for your “chaotic prompt” thing. im not sure if you’re familiar with the terminator movies, but if so i was wondering if i could request a gender-neutral terminator reader insert in which the reader is sent from the future to protect tony stark from other not-so-friendly terminators. basically, in the future, war between man and machine had begun and tony found a way to stop it. and the reason why the reader is the only kind one is because ( future ) tony reprogrammed her. and the reader and tony build a sort of friendship. anyways, hope this makes sense! thank you.”
A/N: Hope you like it! Gender neutral fic.
Warning:violence.
“Do I really have to be here?” Tony kicked the ground.
“Stop whining, I don’t want to be around you either.” (Y/N) voiced, scanning around the deserted area.
“You know that’s not true.” he peeked around, taking a sip of his cold drink now, given that they were in a whole other area of the US, near a deserted glassblower factory. Fortunately, everything was still in place and they easily started heating the oven. Now it was brewing secretly, waiting for something to be added to it.
“I see it.” (Y/N) spoke, seeing it on a motorcycle in the distance as it left a trail of floating sand behind the vehicle, “get into position.”
Tony breathed out, walking into it as the terminator crept behind the walls staying at his level. If Tony could align it to the oven, (Y/N) could break through the weak wall, pushing it straight into the oven after the millionaire shoots the chain that keeps the oven door sealed shut.
(Y/N) watched as it entered the building, looking around with the usual straight face a terminator like this conventionally had for some reason.
It didn’t seem to care about being discreet. A fault that had never been revised since they started sending terminators back in time – unless it was sent by a human.
“Come over here so I can kill you.” it spoke.
“What a nice way to phrase that.” Tony expressed sarcastically, backing up to get it to maintain it’s distance with him as they approached the front of the oven.
(Y/N) took calculated steps forward, morphing one arm into a spear and hiding behind a table that was facing the oven perfectly, a few meters away.
Only two meters for the terminator to do and then it was her turn to work.
It stopped before it got to the oven, suspiciously eyeing around, suddenly remembering the other terminator that had stopped it from completing its mission in the first place.
Gritting their teeth, the other hand shifted into a sledgehammer.
Sensing the terminator’s location, it walked towards the table, unable to get close enough when (Y/N) jumped out, bashing the sledgehammer into its neck, kicking it in the chest, making it stumble backwards.
“Now!” it was his queue, with his hand armour, he shot the chain and rushed to his safe spot. The heavy door fell open, nearly breaking it’s hinges under the weight as the chains made a clunking sound as they hit the floor.
Pinning it down against the oven door, they both felt the intense heat emanating from the active oven but it only grew (Y/N)’s determination. With the spear they had, they stabbed it through it’s throat, watching it as it grasped it to try and pull it out of itself.
Pushing it more into it, the terminator didn’t calculate that it would push it right back into their chest, making them stumble back and let it grasp their black T-shirt, slamming (Y/N) right at the roaring mouth of the stove.
With a hand around it’s throat, they attempted to keep it away enough to stop it from pushing them right into the fire.
“Duck!” Tony spoke. Obliging, (Y/N) followed his command, hearing as he shot into its head, disorientating it, “In your own time!”
With one last effort, the terminator threw it straight in the oven, watching it struggle as it attempted to escape.
(Y/N) watched it slowly grow lifeless as the last pieces of skin burned off, slowly melting and mixing with the metal until it wasn’t regnisable. The last thing to go was the red light in its eyes.
Stark closed the oven, slowly dragging them away.
“Are you okay?” he inquired.
“Yes, it’s done.”
****
“Sorry again, I’ll see you in a bit.” he hung up, placing the phone in his jacket pocket.
“Happy now?” (Y/N) asked.
“Very much.” he took a bite out of his sandwich “You have to stick around for a while, don’t you?” his voice was slightly muffled from the mouthful he just took.
“Don’t get too comfortable, it feels like I might do what you people do, which is throwing up.” they shot him a grim look.
“I want you to be my bodyguard.” he expressed, “It’s your job right? To protect me? Plus I can show off how cool my protector is to the over Avengers.”
“I’ll pass, thank you.” (Y/N) shook her head, “I have no interest in being ‘shown off’.”
Tony frowned.
“How do you-”
“Morgan taught me.” His mouth fell agape.
“Wow, I-”
“Yes, she’s much better than you, anyways, for the purpose of keeping you safe, I cannot display myself publicly, as in, in front of an audience. I thought that would be obvious.” the witty remark didn’t go unheard.
“Well just shift into another person, you can do that, can’t you? So it seems like different people every time, I thought that would be obvious?” he mimicked (Y/N)’s tone of voice.
There was a moment of silence before the person in question spoke.
“You’re lucky it’s in my program not to display any forms of violence towards you.”
“I’m guessing verbal violence wasn’t included in the program.”
“…Eat your sandwich.”
Comments, votes and feedback improve motivation, writing and publishing, so it is in your best interest to leave some! :)
Want to be tagged? Let me know in whichever way you are the most comfortable with!
When Tony starts seeing the same person everywhere he goes, he gets a little anxious about their motives, what happens when that same person steps in when an ‘accident’ happens?
Requestedby@clapoftheass “hello, i hope i’m not bothering you by sending a direct message — this was for your “chaotic prompt” thing. im not sure if you’re familiar with the terminator movies, but if so i was wondering if i could request a gender-neutral terminator reader insert in which the reader is sent from the future to protect tony stark from other not-so-friendly terminators. basically, in the future, war between man and machine had begun and tony found a way to stop it. and the reason why the reader is the only kind one is because ( future ) tony reprogrammed her. and the reader and tony build a sort of friendship. anyways, hope this makes sense! thank you.”
A/N: Hope you like it! Gender neutral fic.
Warning: subtly(?) stalking
“Here they are, as requested.” A woman entered, placing the folder on his desk.
“Thank you,” he nodded, only opening it when the door shut behind her. His fingers glided over the surface of the only three pictures of the figure that he had seen one too many times.
The first one was a side profile, kind of blurry in the very populated area that is the train station. The following one was the stranger looking down to the ground, a few meters away from him as he exited a car for a charity event. The last one was a little chilling, the person was looking straight into the camera as the image grew very pixelated among a very clear view of red irises.
All were collected CCTV footage, all had the same outfit, black cap, black cardigan, t-shirt and trousers.
Pressing on the phone, calling Pepper immediately – who knew of the situation – picked up quickly.
“Did the picture match anyone?”
“No one, we have no idea who it is.” The dirty blond answered.
“Alright,” Tony ended the call and sighed.
Who is this?
****
“You okay?” Happy questioned as he glanced in the rearview mirror.
“I’m fine.” he pulled the knot of his tie and brushed the creases off his suit. Head to attend a public speech for the press but he couldn’t lie saying he was confident.
Where was this stranger from? Why were they spying on him? Are the other Avengers spied on?
Halfway through his speech, he felt a little calmer, not having spotted the not-too-familiar face anywhere.
Fortunately for him, it was only at the end of his speech that he saw the slanted-down cap he’s seen too many times at the back of the room.
Needless to say that the questions after the speech were somewhat difficult.
****
Under his light grey cap, sunglasses and casual clothes, he went to get a coffee. Maybe he wouldn’t be detected if he isn’t under the public eye.
So far so good. He marched into the coffee shop. Then it hit him. Maybe this person was an artificial mutant who had little control over their power just like Pietro and Wanda and seeking help? If they didn’t show up today, this hypothesis might just be a step in the right direction as they have to helplessly rely on the media to seek him out.
After buying his coffee, Tony stepped out of the shop and walked through a smaller road with fewer people.
Suddenly, someone slammed him into the wall, making his drink spill all over the floor. He held his shoulder painfully.
A tall person he’s never seen before stood tall about him, slowly pulling a gun out of his jacket. His eyes widened.
It all happened in the matter of seconds, but the recognisable cap came into view, punching the man’s jaw, grasping his arm and slicing it in half after morphing their arm into a blade.
Pulling the cut off limb and slamming it into his face, they grasped his arm, pulling him up and dragging him away.
“Follow me, get in the car.” they ordered, unlocking a black car that was in a covered car park.
“Who are you?” Tony scanned the person suspiciously.
“Just get in the car.” He didn’t budge. Rolling their eyes, they sighed, “If I wanted you dead I would have left that other guy finish you off, wouldn’t I?”
Reluctantly, he obliged, slipping into the passenger seat and waiting for the person to start the car.
****
“And if I don’t create it, everyone dies.” He concluded.
“Yes,” (Y/N) confirmed, keeping an eye on the cars behind them from the rear-view mirror.
“How did you come back from-”
“I can’t tell you.”
“And where are you taking me now?” The millionaire inquired, “Because a few people will wonder where I am.”
“It’s not the time we have to get rid of this last one, I’ve made sure to terminate the ones I could find before they got to you but until this one is off our tail, you can’t contact anyone until then.” (Y/N) explained.
“How are we going to terminate it, then?” he raised an eyebrow at the Terminator.
“I know just the place. Do you have your gear? I won’t be able to end it on my own since we’re made of the same material.”
“Of course I do, I’m always prepared.” Tony smirked.
“You’re insufferable.” the robot’s eyes rolled it’s eyes before exiting out of the departmental road, onto a smaller road.
“You have alot of temperament for someone who isn’t really alive.” he sassed.
“I wonder where I got that sprinkle of attitude from.” (Y/N) raised a challenging eyebrow at him.
“I knew there was a reason I liked you.” Stark smirked.
“I can’t believe Pepper has put up with you for this long.” a disappointed sigh escaped them.
Comments, votes and feedback improve motivation, writing and publishing, so it is in your best interest to leave some! :)
Want to be tagged? Let me know in whichever way you are the most comfortable with!
