Requestedbyanon: “Hello glorious author-chan! I have a request for you. I have a fun little imagine for you. Can you make an Ikemen Vampire imagine of what their reactions would be like in modern times?”
A/N: I honestly don’t know what this is, like it ended up as the child of a drabble and a headcanon.
Warning: implied smut and nudity (come on Arthur is here)
Napoleon Bonaparte:
He’d be shocked and in awe at the same time.
Wanting to know EVERYTHING about how people live in the 21st century.
Is it a better, easier life? Is everyone treated equally and safe?
He’s astonished by the night lights as well, so bright and beautiful.
It’s absolutely unforgettable and he stays up at night a little longer to watch the busy city below, drinking the beautiful view until he falls asleep.
Also more content with the clothing fashion.
Yes it’s very unusual to him since he’s not used to it but clothes used to be so uncomfortable, especially for women.
Though he really didn’t feel comfortable with such revealing clothes.
He’s very cute about it around you though, hiding in your neck with flushed, embarrassed cheeks.
Leonardo Da Vinci:
Doesn’t show his amazement as much except through his tone of voice.
Wants to know how a phone works.
Surprisingly – or unsurprisingly – not having to explain it regularly, he picks up on it very quickly.
He’s very impressed.
Your days were divided into visiting shops, showing him technologies, public transport, probably every single thing about the city and cuddling in bed and showing him how the TV works because “the mattress is so comfortable”.
Even though you know how comfortable a surface is, never stopped him from falling asleep.
He really likes it in the modern day.
I think he would be one of the residents that would fit in rather quickly and easily.
Comte De Saint Germain:
It’s not that much of a shocker for him for obvious reasons but because you’d spent your life in modern day, he got to see your view and had a much positive outlook on it.
Not that it was negative to begin with, he just didn’t pay as much attention to it before and now that he has, it’s eye opening, in a way.
He loved the sparkle in your eyes as you rejoiced in the things you used to know before you travelled back in time.
It was a sight for sore eyes.
He enjoyed visiting with you, even though he spent more time seeing the twinkle in your eyes than being happy over the smaller things.
Comte is much more open about PDA for obvious reasons and he feels the modern day is something the both of you share as a precious memory now.
Arthur Conan Doyle:
His demeanour is one of someone who’s seen everything already but the huge smile and eyes just showed that he was a little boy excited about discovering everything.
Arthur dragged you around to tell him how things work if he couldn’t pick up on by himself.
You went to a mall and Victoria’s Secret caught his eye so fast it was S C A R Y.
“Try this sweetheart, and this and this-”
Yes, despite all your protests, you spent the whole day in the store trying on clothes for him.
He enjoyed it very much.
Arthur promised he would discover something new with you that didn’t involved being naked.
How nice of him *chokes*
It was a tiring day for you since you did all the standing, changing and displaying for him.
But the night provided to be very rewarding hehe
If you know what I mean
;)
You know what I mean, why am I saying this.
Theodorus Van Gogh:
He has a similar behaviour to Arthur at first, indifferent behaviour but very curious eyes.
You can tell he doesn’t want to ask questions but wants the answers.
So you just start talking and explaining things.
He’s a little flushed because he would have told you to stop talking by now but he doesn’t since you’re informing him on everything.
Theo would keep visiting until you got tired and wouldn’t hesitate to carry you back to your place and cuddle up on the couch.
Showing him how the TV works but he prefers sleeping in your bed because it’s so comfy and he can hug you.
Vincent Van Gogh:
“WOW!” *sparkly eyes*
Asks you about EVERYTHING
Holds your hand the whole time.
Also he apologises for always inquiring about everything.
Reassuring him that it’s alright.
Proceeds to go back to questioning everything.
Politely asks if you guys can go to an exhibition the next day to see paintings and saying yes.
Very gladly cuddling in your neck and saying how amazing everything is.
He’s too cute T-T
Vincent was smiling in his sleep because he got to discover so many new things with you and he couldn’t express how content he was.
Your heart is constantly melting as he acts like an overjoyed puppy.
He’s forever thankful to you and this will always be engraved in his memory.
Amadeus Mozart:
The pianist can’t physically hide his amazement.
“Can we go to an instrument store?”
Holds your hand tightly and keeps you close like he’s protecting you.
When in fact it should be the other way around given that you have lived your entire life in the modern day.
But you already knew that ♀️
His eyes light up more than they already did when you enter an empty store and there are three or four pianos.
Mozart let his fingers caress the smooth surface, taking in all the details of the instruments.
He’s relieved that they didn’t change as significantly as everything else in the world.
Lowkey wants to buy all the pianos because he wants to try them.
A very confused boy at attire.
And blushing at how more ‘revealing’ they are.
He could get used to this.
Jean D’Arc:
He would be in silent shock, staying close to you and looking around in amazement.
Jean would be pretty shy about asking too many questions, not wanting to bother you.
Reassuring him that it was fine, similar to Vincent.
Jean was somehow more considerate about it, not wanting to bother you with his inquiries.
Whispering questions and trying so hard to try and make sense of things himself, sometimes it works, kind of!!
Like Napoleon, he’s relieved the world is happier and fairer.
It was a huge shock for him at first, everything was different, but he was fortunate enough to be with you.
Now he reminisces of the experience as a magical moment that will forever be engraved in his memory.
Isaac Newton:
Absolutely astonished.
He has so many questions but he didn’t know where to start.
Similar to Jean, he was a little shy about asking questions and trying to solve things on his own.
Being surprised at how complex things turn out to be.
Isaac has mixed emotions about knowing that the foundation of physics are his three famous laws.
Because the world seemed overwhelmingly unknown and huge, he nearly clung onto you.
You locked your arm with his, seeing his unease but also not wanting to trouble you.
He felt better instantly and silently thanked you, blushing in embarrassment.
The first thing you taught him was what a phone was and about the kindergarden/school system.
You reminisce about how he went along into town with Napoleon to attempt to teach children.
It wasn’t a particular detail he would have inquired about but he feels strangely relieved about it.
He was touched by the small details you remember about him and he keeps it in mind.
It was an unforgettable experience for him to have with you.
But something he does not want to let go is the bed, it’s shockingly comfortable for him.
Osamu Dazai:
“Wow, are you seeing this (Not Y/N)-chan?”
“That’s not my name-”
“What is this?”
No shame about asking whatsoever.
“Miraculous!”
A lot of him grinning and praising everything and anything, including you.
“You’re delightful (Y/N)-chan, such an interesting answer!”
“D-did you just call me by my nam-”
“Are you coming (Not Y/N)-chan?”
“Nevermind,” you grumble, pouting as you follow behind him.
He chuckled, finding you so cute before cupping your cheeks and openly kissing you in public.
Dazai finds even more amusement with how flushed you are for a while as you clung onto his arm, answering questions with a breathy tone.
Despite his second degree humour throughout everything, he’s actually thoroughly enjoyed spending time doing this with you and becoming a treasured memory.
William Shakespeare:
He was actually rendered speechless for a long while.
Which was unusual for him obviously.
But it was a little disconcerting for him since he always had something to say.
You couldn’t help but eye him admiring everything.
Despite his unnerving silence, the way his eyes lit up was something that you didn’t know you needed to witness.
It looked like he found something to look forward to in life. (can’t relate lol)
That thought alone made you hopeful and sad at the same time.
He was always very polite and considerate about inquiring about things.
As in, he always read the ‘room’ before asking, wanting to stay in your good graces, even though he is already in them.
Finding the bed in your place being painfully heaven-like.
If he wasn’t as invested in learning about the modern world, he would totally examine and savour the beauty that is a bed.
Without you knowing, however, he would spend a lot of time studying you as well.
It was fascinating to him, seeing you enjoying yourself in your natural habitat.
Sebastian:
I mean he lived there before so there isn’t much to say.
He does reminisce a lot though, all previous memories rushing back.
Just as if the residents were a long dream.
One thing that surprised him a little was that he enjoyed spending time with you in the modern day so much that it’s in a smal, different compartment in his brain altogether.
Basically nostalgia but also happy new memories.
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You heard his gentle breathing first, as the sunlight tried to push through the bedroom curtains. The light was still soft as you stirred and turned to face him. You sighed with a soft smile as his fluffy hair mussed against the pillow, his lips parted ever so slightly. You drank in his profile as he slept on his back. You couldn’t help but ever so slightly wiggle up against him to cuddle, laying one hand gingerly on his chest. You felt him stir under you and you grimaced, hoping you hadn’t woken him up.
➳ welcome to my little headcanon series; The Baby Diaries. here is where I’ll create headcanons for pregnancy/delivery/raising kids featuring some of the people i write about. if you have any ideas you want to see in this series as headcanons, send me an ask! i’d love to incorporate your ideas into it! :) until then, have fun reading & i hope you enjoy! I’m so excited
Not waiting for you to do it, he grabs your hips, curls his fingers under the lace and rips your panties off. The sound of fabric tearing was drowned out by your startled gasp as he crushed his warm lips on yours. Plunging his slick tongue further in your mouth, he explored the wetness as if desperate. Pulling away long enough to murmur hotly, Seb growled in a hoarse voice.
⤿ summary [also requested by anon (thank you!)] : insecurities can be caused by many things but there is always one person to love each one of the things you hate…
warnings :18+, smut, reader is insecure about her vagina but i haven’t included a description of anything specific, fingering, pussy eating, tiny bit angst, fluff
*feedback is appreciated. please reblog so it can reach more people♡
You were gripping the microphone you were holding as you tried to calm yourself down. There wеre soo many people in front of you, and even after years of being an actress and going to Comic–Cons, you still couldn’t get over your anxiety sometimes.
You thought that grounding yourself with the cold surface of the microphone was going to calm your flipping stomach, but the harder you squeezed it, the warmer the metal was becoming, and this wasn’t helping.
It was worse than you expected, and you smiled awkwardly as one of your co-stars was answering a question.
‘Y/N?’ Sebastian whispered, and you jumped slightly because you thought he was on the other side, four people away from you. ‘You okay, baby?’ He asked concerned and saw the way you were holding for dear life the microphone in your hands.
‘I’m just anxious, but it’s okay.’ You mumbled and felt his big palm gently enveloping your arm, just above your elbow, squeezing it lightly.
He knew well how to calm your anxiety just with his touch, and you were only dating for a few months. It always seemed like he knew you better than anyone else, even better than you know yourself, but you knew him better, too.
‘I can’t wait for us to go home so I can finally calm you down a little.’ He groaned in your ear, not even carrying about the next question.
Your breath got stuck in your throat as you tried to form words in your mouth. Was he talking about sex? Probably. That’s why you just smiled tightly and whispered ‘Me too.’
But things weren’t that easy, not at all. Your anxiety was even worse when it came to having sex with Sebastian, which you never did because… well you still haven’t gotten to that part yet. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to or because you didn’t, you knew that he wanted this, but whenever stuff escalated between the both of you, you stopped him, always.
Being insecure about body parts was like being sick. It made you feel terrible. You couldn’t even enjoy the things you wanted to, just because of insecurity. An insecurity that was the end of many relationships for you. You realized how toxic they were, but they all ended when men stripped your panties and saw what was between your legs.
You couldn’t picture Sebastian reacting the way your exs did, but that feeling was still there. The feeling of not being good enough just because you were like this and there was nothing you could do to change it.
You arrived in front of Sebastian’s apartment, walking anxiously behind him as he unlocked the front door and opened it for you.
Before you could realize what was happening, he turned around on his toes, and his mouth found yours in an eager kiss. Both your tongues and teeth met each other as you were trying to pour every bottled-up feeling from today, every little piece of anxiety and awkwardness but not your insecurity.
Sebastian slowly walked into the apartment, still not breaking the kiss. You allowed him to lead you, but as soon as the hall ended, his hand left yours, and he wrapped his hands around your hips. He lifted you and placed you on the kitchen table.
‘Let me make you feel better…’ Sebastian tried to catch his breath after the heated kiss as his hands leisurely traveled down to the button of your jeans.
He looked at you from between your legs and unbuttoned them. At this moment, all you could think about was him being between your legs, waiting like a starved animal. But when he started to slide the jeans down your legs, your head snapped.
‘Stop!’ You shouted and lifted yourself on your elbows, shivering slightly from the cold surface of the table.
He immediately pulled away, shock written on his features, but what made your heart sink more was the worried look behind the shock.
‘Did I do something? God, I’m soo sorry! I didn’t want to hurt you!’ He started to ramble, his fingers ran anxiously through his hair.
‘Sebastian…’
‘I don’t know what happened. I just, I - ’
‘Sebastian!’ You shouted, and his rambling finally stopped. His head snapped up to look at you, eyes wide and watery. ‘I’m okay, baby. You didn’t do anything. It’s my fault.’
‘But you haven’t done anything wrong, sweetheart. Why are you saying it’s your fault? What’s wrong?’ His palms cupped your jaw, and you squeezed his wrists, closing your eyes for a moment.
‘All my past relationships ended when they found out about… about my vagina. I know it’s normal to have different types, and I know it sounds silly, but they never liked it. Like they were disgusted by the way it looks.’ You confessed, your cheeks becoming red.
‘Sweetheart, look at me.’ Sebastian put his index finger under your chin and lifted it so he could look into your eyes. ‘Those people had no idea how to love a woman. I’m not saying that I know how to love someone the right way, but I know that I love every part of you, no matter how it looks. I don’t want you to feel this way, and I’m sorry you had to go through this, but never think you’re less attractive because of your body. You are beautiful, and you should feel beautiful, baby. Every part of you is beautiful, and I’m going to show you how much I love every corner of your body if you let me.’
‘Please.’ You pleaded, your eyes watering a little from his speech. Sebastian removed your underwear and your shirt, tossing them to the side. He started kissing first your ankles, taking his time with your calves until he stopped for a while on your inner thighs. He slightly sucked on the soft skin there, leaving love marks all over them before his head disappeared between your legs.
‘So beautiful.’ He groaned against your core before his warm, damp tongue slid between your folds. You couldn’t help but moan, your grip around his waist tightened, bringing him even closer. Your hands ran through the soft locks of his hair as he sucked on your sensitive bud, making your spine arch in a rainbow shape.
‘I love you.’ You whimpered as his tongue twirled around the soft skin.
‘I love you.’ He murmured, the vibrations of his voice sent shivers down your spine before his tongue entered you.
You only hoped that his neighbors won’t hear your moans as they grew when his mouth wrapped around your clit and sucked harshly.
When his fingers replaced his tongue, opening and closing your soaking folds, you could taste yourself on his lips. His finger entered your hole as he felt your tight walls squeezing him inside of you.
The tight knot in your lower stomach continued to tighten until you couldn’t take it anymore.
It felt like a fresh wave washed over your body, and the tight knot was finally released, your walls clenching around his fingers.
‘You’re soo good, baby. I won’t let anyone tell you otherwise because you are the most beautiful woman. Every part of you and I will continue to do that until you understand it.’ Sebastian whispered against your lips, brushing your hair away from your face.
‘I don’t need anyone else to tell me… I just need you.’ You murmured against his lips before capturing them into a kiss.
⤿ summary [also requested by anon (thank you!)] : you reassure sebastian during the met gala.
warnings :fluff, one curse word, feeling insecure and people being rude
*feedback is appreciated. please reblog so it can reach more people♡
You were posing in front of the photographers whose camera flashes snapped and clicked with each photo being taken. Even after attending the Met Gala for many years now, you still got a little bit nervous as everyone yelled your name.
This year’s theme was Gilded Glamour. You loved those times and how women dressed back then in their pretty dresses and hair secured in a beautiful bun. That’s why you wanted to go a little extra on this event and it seemed to work. Everyone was in love with your dress.
You were wearing a long, white, satin dress with short sleeves, secured with an asymmetrical pastel pink bodice. The middle of the flowing material was tied with ribbon in the same pastel pink color as the corset. Two lines of pink satin waves were finishing the dress at your feet.
But the main highlight of your outfit was the flower décor all over the dress. Fake pink roses were attached all over the fabric, especially around the ribbon where part of the dress was tied like a bouquet and in your hair where it was tied in a half-bun. The outfit was completed with white satin gloves with a golden bracelet on each wrist and a pearl necklace ending with a golden charm.
‘Did you see what a terrible outfit Sebastian Stan is wearing?’ A voice came to your ears as you were trying to pose for more pictures. You tried to ignore it, thinking that it was probably something else and you only imagined it until you heard the reply.
‘It’s not even in the theme like how is he not embarrassed?’ Your heart sank into your chest as you quickly apologized and went in a search of your secret boyfriend. Even though you two had prepared together, you arrived at different times, still not wanting to expose your relationship. Most fans thought you were just really good friends, but that was far away from the truth.
The truth was that you and Sebastian were dating for over a year now, and keeping it a secret was the hardest part. Paparazzi don’t know privacy, but luckily you were known as good friends, so when pictures were taken they didn’t make a fuss. After all, you had been in 2 movies together.
As you were walking around the large space, you couldn’t stop thinking about how those girls talked behind his back. But while you were making your way through the crowd of people, you heard even more of those hateful comments.
Your eyes watered just at the thought of how happy he was before you left. He was happy to wear something different, to try something different. Yes, it was a challenging outfit, but he looked great in it, and you couldn’t be more proud of him when you saw him standing in front of the mirror.
But when your eyes fell on the man with a pink outfit who was posing for photos you saw the hurt in his eyes. You were still far away, but you hurried up to him.
‘Ew, ugly in pink!’ You heard in front of you and saw how Seb’s face immediately stopped to fake smile.
Rushing over to him, you hugged him, your face smashing in his chest as you felt the rushed beat of his heart. But as soon as he realized who was hugging him his arms wrapped around your waist, head resting on top of his head.
‘Hi.’ You whispered quietly, looking over at him and pulling away from his chest to pose next to him. ‘Hi, baby.’ He whispered back and snaked his arm around your waist, bringing you closer to his body.
‘I heard what that bitch said. You look stunning tonight, love.’ You kissed his cheek and saw them reddening under your compliment, which made you giggle.
‘Thank you, my love.’ Sebastian squeezed your waist, reassuring you that he was okay.
‘I love you.’ You said only with your lips but Sebastian understood, knowing too well how your lips moved when you told him that little phrase every morning.
‘I love you, too.’ He mouthed, and you smiled lovingly at the sight of him finally having fun at this too crowded party.
You couldn’t wait to go home and wash away all the stress he had to go through for this event. Sometimes pleasing fans is the most challenging thing people in your profession have to face.
Summary: Imani is tired of Sebastian’s shit. He doesn’t understand that if he doesn’t act right, she won’t be in the picture long.
A/N: I’ve been going through something and y'all bare with me.
“Sebastian?” Imani walked into his modern apartment. The couple has had their on and off moments and right now it’s really rocky for them.
“In my room!” He replied while she sat her keys down the kitchen countertop. She is 7 months pregnant with his son so she waddled all the way to his room. The problems they faced were he was always either texting another girl, liking their photos, or interacting with them in some way. Sebastian loves Imani but can’t get out of his old ways.
This is why their co-parenting but as of right now trying to fix their relationship. “Where you going?” Imani sat on his bed, taking off her sandals. Sebastian was just in his pants placing his shirt on the bed while he went to brush his teeth and etc.
“I have a couple of interviews today but I won’t be out all day. Maybe we could go on a date once I’m finished?”
Imani felt her face getting hot,“ Yes that sounds good.” Even though all their problems, he still had an effect on her.
“Anthony should be here in any minute.” He said walking into his bathroom. Imani nodded, getting comfortable on the bed. Sitting there for a couple for a second, rubbing her belly, his phone buzzed on the nightstand.
“I don’t want to be stressed for the next couple of days.” She mumbled trying to ignore it but it buzzed again grabbing her attention. Imani bit her lip, giving in to her suspicion,b and picked up Sebastian’s phone.
Holli- I miss you so much, baby.
Holli- Are you still coming over after your interview? Just hang out with Imeri next time.
It was the first two messages shown on the notification screen. Tears welled in Imani’s eyes because it was too good to be true. Using her face I.D. to get in. More fell as she read the countless texts between Sebastian and Ms.Holli.
Sebastian walked out of the bathroom seeing Imani holding his phone. He knew he was fucked. “Imani…”
“Yeah just hang out with Imeri next.” Imani gave a dry laugh wiping her tears. “I knew this shit was too good to be true.”
“She doesn’t mean anything to me, Imani.” Sebastian tries with her but she wasn’t listening.
“You don’t even have to lie Sebastian. We’re never going to fix what we have because you’re stuck in your old ways!” She cried struggling to put on her sandals since her bump was in the way. “Ugh, I can’t get this stupid shoe on!”
“Imani I’m sorry okay? I wasn’t thinking.” Sebastian reasons with her trying to take the shoe but she snatches away.
To him, texting other females never bothered him because no one has ever corrected him in the past. He has no self-control and doesn’t know it. But seeing Imani heartbroken over him tore him to pieces, he hates seeing her cry. “I’m so sorry.”
“You don’t mean it, Sebastian! This is all lies because once I accept it, you only be the perfect boyfriend for two days then you right back to being a hoe. I’m tired.” Imani gets out the bed, heading down the hallway. Sebastian grabs her hand to keep her from leaving. He doesn’t want Imani out of his life, she means everything to him plus she carries his son.
“Imani I’m sorry baby. I’m really in love with you and with all the strength in my body, I will do better for you.”
“Sebastian you don’t mean it. Let’s face it, this relationship is a mistake. Hell, I’m not even your type.”
“What the hell Imani, you are my type! Imani stops pushing me away. I know I need to work on myself but I also need you in my life too. You complete me.” Sebastian pulled her into his arms, feeling her stomach against him.
She completely broke down, “What…What did I do to deserve this??” Imani clutched onto Sebastian’s shirt. He closed his eyes placing his chin on top of her forehead. He just held her while she cried.
“Imani I’m going to be a better man for you and for our son. I promise.”
“Sebastian we can’t be together.” Imani pulled back from the hug, wiping her tears. Seb looked at her in disbelief.
“What? No!, Imani, I’m sorry I fucked up okay? Imani…” His face turned red from panic. She kissed his cheek, then walked out of his apartment. Out his life.
He just lost his future wife and son.
Sebastian now knew that his actions definitely had consequences.
———–
Okay so it’s something short but like I said I’ve been going through shit plus having baby fever so why not put those two together!
This was something just to take my mind off it.
If it’s corny, my bad, and plus I didn’t feel like repeatedly writing the word Y/N so I used an actual name.
Plus it’s probably gone be a while before I write something else. I move into college next weekend.
Summary: Euphoria goes to comic con with Sebastian because he didn’t want a recap of the last time when he left for a press conference to happen.
A/N: I saw a TikTok with them rude-ass girls and decided to add it to the series for Sebastian
I was at ACE Comic Con in Seattle with Sebastian because he didn’t trust me from last time. Right now I was backstage with Anthony joking around, just wasting time while also watching Sebastian interact with fans.
“You ready to go on stage?” Anthony asked looking for a working microphone. I looked at him like he was crazy.
“Me? I’m not going out there. This something you guys do. I’m just going to stick to instagram and modeling.”
“Nope you’re going out there.”
He found one and smirked at me. His lil evil ass.
“Anthony he’s trying to talk to a fan on hold!!” I tried to stop him but it was too late, Anthony had grabbed the microphone. He used his best movie voice which made me shake my head at his stupidity.
“And now for the best superhero in the Marvel Universe!”
You could literally see Sebastian’s smile dropped which made me laugh so hard I couldn’t breathe.
“The guy that gave you such lines as on your left. The guy who gave you such likes as cut the check. The guy who saved Captain America’s ass from Bucky Barnes for most of his Marvel Universe life. We give you…” Anthony tapped his hand against the microphone.
“Sam Wilson aka the falcon aka hot chocolate aka Chocolate-chino aka every fans best friend. Anthony Mackie everybody!”
He walked out leaving me back there by myself. So I sat down, getting on my phone. Without him back here, it was kinda boring.
“Ladies and Gentlemen give it up for the one and only Anthony Mackie.”
“Oh wait I’m not finished!”
Sebastian raised an eyebrow. “You’re not finished?”
“Nope! I told her she’s coming out here. She does the best makeup ever. One of the best models on Instagram. She is known to be Sebastian Stan’s girlfriend!” I raised my head up in shock.
“Is he for real right now? Omg !”
“Euphoria Luv everyone.” Still shocked I swiftly got out of the chair grabbing the first working microphone I see. It was a bunch of girls screaming for me but it also sounded like some guys too.
“It better be only girls screaming for my girlfriend,” Sebastian said lowly in the microphone making the audience laugh but I knew he was serious. “Heyy everyone!”
I waved sitting down in the middle of them but closer to Sebastian. He looked at me as if he was saying ‘what are you doing out here.’ I shrugged my shoulders pointing at Anthony.
“When did you first learn that there’d be a falcon.” The interviewer asked but Anthony ignored scooting closer to me. He wrapped an arm around me and Sebastian.
“He wants to be close.” Sebastian joked as we three cuddled up together. While the interviewer asked them questions, I drowned them out playing with my fingernails and whatnot. I’m not a celebrity so I’m not used to this.
“You alright?” My boyfriend whispered in my ear, taking me out of my daze. “I’m okay baby.”
“I think it was Iron Man, I got to meet RDJ ball out of control. I call him a ball of control Rob, that’s his nickname. First man introduced me to caviar ball out of control Rob. If you ever get the chance, eat caviar with RDJ. Just do that for yourself.”
Anthony explained and I agreed nodding my head. “Yes he’s right. If you ever get the chance, do it. It will be a fun time.”
“You’ve ate Caviar with RDJ before Euphoria?” The interviewer asked and I sat up on the couch, engaged in the conversation.
“Yes. We went for lunch one day, he didn’t have film. It was me, his girlfriend and him. He had me laughing the whole time. I really enjoyed myself that day.”
———-
More screams came from the crowd as Tom walked out on the stage. He was so excited to sit between us three. I gave him a big hug since I haven’t seen him in like 3 weeks.
“Bestieee!”
“Bestieee!”
“I can’t wait to come back to LA Euphoria. I’ve missed you and everyone else.”
“Me too. You’ve been gone for so long!” I smiled kissing his cheek. He gave me one back. I moved closer to Sebastian starting to get tired.
“You sleepy baby girl?”
“Yess I am. I don’t see how you guys do this.”
The interviewer spoke to us.“Let’s open to the audience guys. We got a bunch of people lined up starting with you.. What’s your name?”
————-
During the whole questions thing I noticed at the fans wasn’t fond of Anthony and I wasn’t going for it. I’m going to try to keep my mouth but this getting on my nerves.
“I need to see this movie.” Anthony held out his hand. Tom looks at him in disbelief.
“You’ve never seem Spiderman homecoming?”
“Pft no.”
I furrowed my eyebrows, I didn’t know Anthony ain’t ever seen it before. “For real Anthony?”
“ I haven’t seen the falcon- oh no there isn’t one.” Tom placed his hand on Anthony shoulder. I covered my face, laughing so damn hard. More people went and I kept quiet until 2 girls talked into the microphone. One girl had on a green shirt while the other had curly hair.
“Okay take it away ladies you’re going to bring us home.”
“Okay so I didn’t really have a question, just my friend ruthy back there has some fan art of Tom and Tessa and also.”The curly head pushed her hair behind her ear. “I just wanted to say that um, I have a pit-bull and so since Tessa is a staffy that’s just super cool and I love Tessa so pet her for me.”
Tom smiled, “I will thank you so much.”
Sebastian spoke up confused. “Who’s Tessa?” I leaned over speaking lowly.
“Babe it’s Tom dog.”
“His dog! Omg educate yourself!” The curly head basically yelled in the microphone. I sat up, glancing at her like she done lost her damn mind. I brought the microphone to my mouth.
“Girl who is you talking too?”
Everyone was laughing but I was dead the fuck serious. Tom pinched my side but covered it up with a laugh,“Euphoria chill.” Sebastian and Anthony shared a glance at each other. I just knew Tom felt embarrassed. I kept my eyes on her while the interviewer did some loud talking.
She began apologizing. “I’m sorry. I apologize I’m so sorry.” but I didn’t believe that fake ass apology.
“I get that you’re nervous but you need to calm it down. It’s just Tom.” I made known, feeling Sebastian’s hand on the small of my back.
“You’re making me look really bad guys.” Tom scratched his neck nervously.
“You have fun on the internet tonight.” Sebastian said slowly in the microphone to show how serious he was. Seeing this unfold, Anthony spoke up.
“Time out , time out. How do you know who Tessa is?”
She held her hands out, “He post Tessa all the time.”
“Oh he’s posting pictures of him and his dog?”
They both perked up.“Yeah!”
“He’s just hanging out at home with his dog?” Anthony egged it on with they rude asses.
“He posts her all on the time on instagram!”
“Baby I’m adult.” Anthony corrected her. She laughed out loud in nervousness.
“Yea I see her all the time so that justifies it.” I said and Tom nod his head towards me.
The green shirt girl speaks in the microphone “Okay so before I say anything uh I promise my friend Iris that I..” Anthony cuts her off.
“Y’all got a lot of friends.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Where yo friends at?” Anthony looked around for them.
“I’m sorry, friends maybe a term that you don’t know but.” Everyone in the crowd gasp at her little comeback. Sebastian looked at the curiously with his microphone underneath his chin. Yeah they finna get this clap back. I looked at Anthony and he shook his head basically saying he got it.
“I don’t know the term friends. I know the term family, when stuff get tight lemme see where your friends at. But grow a little bit, you’ll get there.”
The girl waved him off , “anyway, wow this is crazy. Okay I’m on your team Tom. I don’t care… about Mackie.” She waved him off again like he was dust. That was the most disrespectful thing she said. I just stared at Mackie, practically begging him to let me get her ass . He nodded his head indicating me for to do it.
The crowd was still oohing as I parted my lips to talk. “Look sweetcakes, the comebacks isn’t cute, it’s just plain-“
She scrunches her face up, “Who are you again?”
I leaned forwards placing my elbows on my knees. “I’m Euphoria Luv honey. Look me up on instagram before you call yourself trying to check me.” I tilt my head to the side, plastering a petty smile on my face.The crowd went wild ay my comeback but I wasn’t finished.
“ I’m not them, I don’t have a contract. Nine times outta ten this going to be my last time on stage with them. Honey I get that you nervous and trying to make the crowd laugh but you not going to disrespect my boyfriend and my brother plus embarrass my bestie.” I stood up smoothing out my skirt. “It ain’t cute so don’t think it is. Before you disrespect anyone else you need to stop disrespecting yourself with that too little shirt you got on and ya bestie too with them dry ass curls. Good bye.”
I drop the mic as it was so much commotion going on in the crowd. It was a mixture of laughter and ooing .All I heard was Anthony say “Mic. drop.” before I completely walked off the stage. I saw my manager stand there with her arms folded.
“You know that’s your last time on stage with them right?”
“I know and I don’t have a single regret either.”
“Good job for taking up for them though.”
“Thanks.” I kissed her cheek going into the break room.
——-
I felt a smack on my ass waking me up out of my nap. I went back to the hotel early because I was annoyed with being a comic con. I groaned rolling over to see my boyfriend taking off his shirt.
“How you sleep sassy pants?”
“I wasn’t going to let her disrespect you nor Anthony babe.” I sat up in the bed watching him undress. Sebastian picked up some black pants from his suitcase.
“I’m not mad babe, I just wanted to know how you slept.”
“But I know you have something to say Sebastian.”
“Alright fine, babe even though it was wrong, I’m glad you took up for us. Thank you.” He came over to my side of the bed. My worries of him being mad washed away. “That showed me you really care about me.”
Sebastian kissed my lips, and I grabbed his neck deepening it. He saw that I was turned on so he pulled back.
“Nope, we are expected to be at dinner with Chris,Mackie and Tom.”
I pout my lips,“But I want some dick.”
“You’re in time out.”
“For whatt??”
“For saying that girl had on a too little shirt!”
“I mean it’s true!”
—————————
That’s all. Nobody should be offended of this cause that comic con is old so yeah.
they were being rude that day and thought it was cute. man sometimes people take being obsessed over celebrities to the extreme. that shit is not cute!
plus never be rude to celebrities that wasn’t rude to you first!
A/N: Fight scene is next! Not looking forward to that i suck at writing them so i’ll probably stick close to the script for that or just be very vague with it, not edited or proof read!
Sam stood on his front porch, his phone still clutched in his hand as he stared at the call log. He let out a breath, hitting your name bringing the phone to his ear, when he heard it go straight to voicemail he let out a groan, squeezed his phone so hard that if he had that serum running through his veins he definitely would have crushed his phone.
He was feeling a mixture of emotions, he was frustrated with how vague you were, he was mad at Bucky for clearly not telling him everything he seen the headlines about you, the video footage of you walking out on Bucky followed by lightning lighting up the sky he thought it was just a fight, an argument because he knew first hand how stubborn Bucky could be but you were always so reasonable, Steve use to tell him you were the glue that kept them together, he was hoping that would be the case with Bucky, you and him.
He knew this wasn’t going to be easy, everything changed but he gave you your space, gave you time but 6 months was such a long time. He was nervous every goddamn day he would check his phone from any sign that you were alive and well, he would check the news. When he heard in the news a single lightning strike cracked a 100 year old tree in half, he felt some sort of relief but it was clearly intentional, he tried to get Bucky to talk to him but he was like a broken record with the whole “None of your business”
But he was so fucking nervous right now, that sounded like a goodbye and not just a see you later one like you told him but a your never gonna see me again goodbye. His mind couldn’t stop playing one of the last conversations with Steve he ever had about you on repeat.
2023 - A little before Steve Rogers Passing
“Hey Sam?”
“Yeah Cap?”
A small smile played on his face “You know you can stop calling me that, the shields yours”
An eye roll played out on Sam’s face “You’re always gonna be my Captain”
Nostalgia was written all over Steve’s face before it fell flat “Y/N hasn’t came by since the stones, i haven’t heard from her, im worried Sam”
“I’ve stopped by multiple times, called texted shes just not answering, I dont know whats going on”
“Bucky won’t tell me anything” he paused, liar Steve thought before continuing “They must be fighting again” a small smile on his face thinking of all Bucky’s and yours stupid fights.
Sam snorted “Makes two of us, i think shes just not handling all this” He gestured to Steve laying in a hospital bed “Well”
Steve nodded, he opened and closed his mouth, debating if he should say what he was thinking before starting “I know this is asking a lot of you Sam, but you need to look after her”
“You know i will Cap, always, shes family to me too”
“I’m gonna tell you something that only Y/N, Tony, Fury and I knew, you can’t tell Bucky it’ll just make things worse”
“Yeah of course, my lips are sealed”
Steve nodded “Y/n, she didn’t just go for a walk, fall asleep and wake up here” he referred to the 2000’s “She died”
Sam’s mouth dropped “What? that wasn’t in any file?”
“I know because we decided it was best kept a secret but a little bit after she woke up she couldn’t remember much but it came back to her, she was hysterical, we had to sedate her. It was like everything she felt before hit her all at once…. but we got her to talk, it wasn’t uncommon after the war for people to commit suicide”
Sam’s eyes went wide not liking where this was headed.
“Y/n, she lost us, she didn’t have anyone left. She attended not one but two funerals where there was no body, I couldn’t imagine what she felt.” Steve brought his eyes to look at Sam’s because he didn’t want to say it and he knew with Sam he wouldn’t have to “She, did it Sam, she went to — and she did”
“Steve, that’s a lot” Sam got up, he started pacing near the foot of the bed “That changes everything, i gotta —“
Steve cut him off “I know its a lot as long as you know she’s in there and alive that’s all that matters Sam”
“Why didn’t you tell Bucky, that’s his girl”
“He went through a lot, he was healing, she was healing, she promised me everything was fine”
“He’d kick down that door if he knew”
Steve had a small smile “Yeah i know he would, he wouldn’t let her out of his site, she’s his everything”
“Any idea why they’d be fighting?”
Steve shrugged “Can’t say i do Sam” he knew of course he did, Bucky came to him 2 weeks ago asking for advice about you. How he didnt know he was anymore, didn’t know who you were anymore. That he didn’t want to drag you through the dark tunnel of finding out who he was now, Steve told him that was stupid.
That’d you’d be more hurt by him saying he needed space, that he needed time because the two of you were already on borrowed time. Steve promised he wouldn’t say anything no matter how badly he wanted to, because he hoped at the time the two of you would sort this out before it was time for him to go but by the looks of things that wasn’t the case. It was a secret that was coming with him to the grave, he knew Bucky would tell Sam when he was ready, when that trust was built he just hoped it wasn’t gonna be too late.
The front door swung open “What the hell Sam? Was that y/n?! Don’t even lie to me i heard you say her name” Bucky’s brows were creased, pointing his finger at Sam.
Sam didnt say anything quite yet, he could see the smoke coming out of Bucky’s ears, he knew he had to tell him. It was the only way he couldn’t think of any other excuse that he wouldn’t question “We should go inside”
Sam turned to walk inside but Bucky grabbed his arm to stop him. Sam stared in his eyes. He could tell how worried he was, he could see the panic, the heartache, the sacrifices but most importantly the love he had for you.Sam kept walking nodded for Bucky to follow him to the table, he could hear his heavy footsteps trailing behind him.
He pulled a chair out and plopped down, Bucky stood there with his arms crossed “Sit down Buck”
“No”
“Bucky sit down”
Bucky lingered a little longer before giving in, pulling out the chair across from Sam “You better start talking Sam”
“I will, under one condition you don’t interrupt me and know I only didn’t tell you because Steve made me promise”
Bucky nodded so Sam started “One of the last time’s i went to visit Steve, he told me something that only he, Fury, Stark and of course y/n knew. It wasn’t in any of her files for good reasons, it was only needed to know per situation information, that’s why he didn’t tell you. He knew you were recovering, you were bettering yourself and this would have held you back, he told me he knew y/n would tell you when she was ready” He paused “What do you know about the night she disappeared?”
Still a scowl on his face he responded “That Peggy told her about Steve, after the funeral she just disappeared. Steve told me she fell asleep by our spot, that she just woke up and it was 2012, the ground absorbed her or something, right?”
Sam shook his head “She didn’t fall asleep Buck”
“What do you mean she didn’t fall asleep? So Steve lied to me?”
“Bucky, she died”
Bucky stood up, his chair flying back “What do you mean she died? So she’s a ghost?! Stupidest thing i’ve ever heard!” He was pacing now. “Why’d they lie to me!” He slammed his fist down on the table making Sarah jump in the kitchen
“She committed suicide” Sam wanted to break eye contact with Bucky because now he knew what you meant when you told him how Bucky’s ocean eyes would suck you in like a whirl pool, and Sam was drowning trying to get out as they filled with water
Bucky shook his head “No, no, no why would she do that Sam? Did he say why she would do that, my girl wouldn’t do that, she, she — “
“She lost both of you Buck, she lost you then she lost Steve. You two were all she had, man. There were no bodies to bury, she never got closure. Can’t imagine what she was feeling”
Bucky walked over taking a seat on the couch, he had millions of questions that he was scared to ask since the answer to his last one was weighing him down he was sure this was one he’d never be able to get off his shoulders.
“Steve said they ran tests and they were never able to find out how she was resurrected but there assuming it had to do with her powers there was no other logical explanation”
Bucky nodded, as silence took over for a brief moment, the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Till Bucky jumped up off of the couch “She lost Steve”
“We all lost Steve”
“No you dont get it” Bucky ran his hands down his face “She lost Steve, and I - fuck, im so stupid. I wasn’t thinking, “I gotta call her Sam, this is bad, do you think she w-would do it again?”
“Woah Buck, slow down” Sam was standing now “What are you talking about?”
“I told her I needed time, Sam, she gave me the ring back, we broke up. She lost me then she lost Steve”
“Did Steve know?”
“Of course he knew, he told me i was stupid, i am stupid”
“He knew, that’s why he told me, he knew she was gonna lose both of you all over again” Sam’s eyes widened “That was her on the phone, she told me she was proud of me, she was saying goodbye Buck”
“Well, call her back!” Bucky shouted
“I tried it goes straight to voicemail”
“She called me” Bucky whispered “A day ago, she didn’t say anything but I could hear her, then she just hung up” he paused “What if she already…”
“Don’t say it Buck, she’s not, she can’t be”
“We gotta go now, we gotta go to her place and kick her door down!” Bucky was already walking to the door
“48 hours ago a single lightning strike hit a 100 year old tree in the park” Sam blurted out
Bucky froze he knew exactly what he meant, and he knew exactly what you were doing when you did that “She let me go” he whispered, wiping the tear that escaped before turning around “She was letting me — usgo” his voice cracked
“Do you know where else she could have gone?
“Hey guys?” Sarah spoke from the kitchen “I hate to interrupt but you might wanna see this”
Both men entered the kitchen staring at the TV as Spiderman was on a video call with a news reporter but with his mask off.
“Just the truth.” Spiderman spoke
“Oh sure.” Jameson rolled his eyes
“I thought he wore a mask for a reason?” Bucky questioned
Sarah’s eyes widened “You two missed a lot while you were fixing that damn boat, they revealed his identity just some kid named Peter Parker from queens” she shrugged
“The truth is, that this is all my fault. I accidentally brought those
dangerous people here”
“Well, he admits it!”
“And if those people are watching, just know that I really did try to help you. I mean, I could have killed you -“ Peter says before holding up some weird box, Bucky and Sam look at each other briefly before Peter starts talking again “At any given moment. But I
didn’t. Because my Aunt May taught me that everyone deserves a second chance. And that’s why I’m here”
“And where is “here” exactly?”
“A place that represents second chances” He turns the camera slightly and you can see him at the top of the statue of liberty, as the camera turns back around for a brief second Bucky and Sam could have sworn they saw you before the camera turned back fully on Peter.
“Did you see that?” Bucky asks
Sam nodded “She did promise Stark she’d watch out after Spiderman, and if Peter is Spiderman shes gonna watch out after him to”
“The Statue of Liberty?! Good God, folks, he’s about to destroy another national landmark”
“But world, if you’re watching–“
“Believe me, the world is watching–“
“Wish me luck. Your friendly neighborhood SpiderMan could really use some.”
Peter’s video ends, Bucky turns to Sam “Do you have his phone number?”
“When i became Captain America they auto synced phone numbers in my phone, i’m not sure” Sam reached in his pocket
“Well check!” Bucky groaned
“What the hell do you think i’m doing?!” He started scrolling through his contacts “At least we know she’s alive”
“Yeah but not safe, what bad guys, plural might I add, is he talking about?”
“I got it, i found it” He turned his phone around to show Bucky ‘Spiderman’
Bucky ripped the phone out of Sam’s hand and hit call puting it to his war
I honestly am so in love with this fic ive had it in my head for so long, ive never had anything as planned out before as it is. I have the next part finished, will post it tonight or tomorrow, i dont wanna upload anything till i have the next next part done as well, im about 25% done part 8.
I have so many random scenes typed out to, i just need to find where they’ll fit since i dunno if you could tell im dragging this out a teeny tiny bit. I just wrote an intense scene and this is my favourite line in it so far (i think this will be after the fight scene);
“Bucky” You felt like you were swallowing knives saying his name “He was the moon, but you —“ Your voice shaky even though you’ve never been more sure in your life “You, Peter Parker, your the whole goddamn galaxy”
A/N: Ive never had a story planned like the way this one is, so its just an absolute breeze to write. In case theres any confusion this is a flashback part of the reader briefly during the couple months after Endgame + after Bucky told the reader he needed space.
You sat in the same spot you’ve been in since you got home from what you thought was your first real date with Bucky since the 1940s but you were so wrong. Disgustingly wrong.
You werent mad at him you could never be mad at him but god was your hesrt fucking shattered. You have no idea why you even bothered to get your hopes up anymore, especially after everything you’ve been through. How the hell did you not learn by now?
You were a mess and even that was an understatement you were a shell of a shell of a person you once were. Steve would have tried to talk some sense into you, try to reason with you about how the world needed you, and you’d reluctantly give him a nod, swallowing any and all feelings to the pits of your mind, turning into what he wanted, a soldier ready for a war.
Or, Tony would come by and first try to coax you out with humour. If he would even see a sliver of what he thought was a smile or a groan that sounded like it could be a laugh he’d consider that a win, and even though he tried so hard to be cool and collected because he had to be, he would let a sliver of that giant heart out and how could you say no to pushing through this for someone who wanted the best for everyone and only saw the best in you.
And Nat, would sit and wallow with you until you were done. She’s there for you without doing too much but it was more than enough. She’d make sure you got off your ass and took care of yourself. She’d put you before the mission, before the avengers, before herself. And seeing her show you such love even if it was subtle and not in spoken words but actions, you’d be sure as hell to show her you accepted that love and got off your ass.
Your mind played out each scene. You felt the way Natasha would lean down in front of you, the way Tony would give you a shoulder squeeze pulling you in for a side hug, the way Steve’s voice would bounce off the walls. It’s like you could see them, feel them, hear them but they of course weren’t there.
None of them were here anymore. They were all gone, they all left. They’re all dead and not coming back.
Your eyes were focused on the TV playing in the background, well was playing in the background till you saw the ‘NEW CAPTAIN AMERICA’ flash across the screen and it most certainly wasn’t Sam.
You tried your best to get your ears to focus but you could only hear ringing, you pulled yourself back in just in time to hear the woman on TV talking about you and your family.
“Now that Steve Rogers, Tony Stark and Natasha Romanoff are gone, who do we have left to save us if something happens again?”
The male news anchor weighed in “We have Spider Man”
“He’s got to be just a kid, the Falcon — Sam Wilson gave up the shield that Steve Rogers gave to him, how can he be reliable after that”
“Y/N Y/L/N”
She scoffed “How can we rely on someone who falls off the edge of the world after The Winter Soldier breaks up with her? The video of her aggressively walking out of that restaurant went viral for a reason and it wasn’t because of her being an Avenger but from the storm that followed, she should be locked up, someone with her capabilities she’s too unpredictable, unsteady”
“Now Sally, don’t you think you’re being a little too harsh on the girl? She lost her family while trying to help bring the rest of the worlds theres back”
“All I’m saying is when you’re a human with super abilities you have a certain responsibility to uphold and she’s just not doing that for me. I think the Avengers are over. I don’t feel safe with people like them hiding right under our noses”
“Y/N i know you’re in there, open up doll please” His voice was soft he was resting his forehead on the door. It had been almost a month since he last saw you. He walked by your apartment countless times. It was nowhere near his or near his therapist office but it was the only way he could feel close to you any more.
Especially when you wouldn’t answer his calls, you wouldn’t answer his texts and the only reason he figured out how to remotely do that was to reach out to you but he settled for listening to your voicemail the “Hi you’ve reached Y/N if you have this number odds are your probably in the compound with me and are too lazy to come find me” it would pause and you could hear Natasha in the background say “It was one time… okay maybe more than 10” then Steve and your laughter was heard before you continued “But if not i guess leave a message” then Tony shouted “She won’t get back to you bye!” before the beep was heard.
But 4 weeks was far too long he had to know you were alright. Sam told him he stopped by 2 weeks ago and could hear the TV on, and see your shadow under the door but you weren’t answering him either. So Bucky was hoping this wasn’t about him telling you he needed time. He felt so stupid doing that, he talked about it with Steve after you left, the night Steve told the two of you he was going to stay.
Steve told him he was being stupid, that it wasn’t by chance all three of you were alive just like it wasn’t by chance when he went to collect the infinity stones with Tony he just so happened to hide in Peggy’s office. It wasnt by chance, it was simply fate.
Bucky knew he was being stupid, he knew everything Steve and you had done for him, to get him back to save him. All the sacrifices you made but it was just so easy for Steve to toss him and you to the side he was scared that once you realized he wasn’t the same Bucky anymore you’d do the same. But you also weren’t the same Y/N he fell in love with anymore and nothing scared him more than falling out of love with you.
What was a little more time he thought?
You stood there staring at the door, you could see his shadow from under the door frame. You felt like you were on fire, it was quite literally possible for you to set yourself on fire too and you would set yourself on fire if it meant Bucky was here to beg for you back with ring in hand.
“Please, it’s about the shield about Steve. We need to get it back, back to where it belongs”
Burning.
“I’m done Buck” Your voice was hoarse, your throat scratchy, you’re positive he wouldn’t have even heard it if it wasn’t for the serum.
“What do you mean you’re done?” He banged a little harder “Open the door, let’s talk please”
“Go away, James. I don’t want you here”
He scoffed “You’re really going to do this? After everything Steve did for you?”
You winced, the glass cup in your hand shattering to the ground, water pooling around your feet. Putting out the fire that was burning in you momentarily.
It was silent for too long you didnt move, you stood there in the water, surrounded by glass shards.
“Y/N I didn’t — Im sorry” And he stood there a little longer, the floor creaked as he walked away.
“Bucky told me he came by” Sam paused hoping you’d say anything, he felt stupid talking to a door so he closed his eyes and pretended it was you “Y/N i know your hurting, i cant try to help you or to try and understand what your feeling unless you let me in. We dealt with loss and it hurts. I get that I do but we need to carry on for them, we need to pave the path for the future.”
You were laying on your couch watching your ceiling fan spinning around and around. It had been 12 weeks since Bucky stopped by, he didn’t call, he didn’t text. You were almost positive that this was Sam’s last effort in trying to coax you out but the truth was he wasn’t Natasha, he wasn’t Steve, he wasn’t Tony. And you weren’t even you.
You wanted to try so bad for Sam, he was so good, he was light, he was airy, and god was he so easy to talk to. Maybe that was why you couldn’t bring yourself to talk to him because then everything would come bubbling over, who knows what would happen then. Sally, the news lady was right, you were unpredictable, unsteady and not safe to be around. You didnt even wanna be around you anymore.
“I’m not sure how much of the news you’ve seen but a lot has happened” Pause “Bucky and I are going to work again, who knows we might even become friends, he’s going to help me with our family boat — We could use your help to, not just with the boat but to keep us from killing each other” He let out a small laugh “Ill text you where we’ll be, call me anytime y/n. Take care of yourself”
The floor started to creak, he was leaving. You tried to imagine what Sam looked like standing there, the truth was you forgot what he looked like, you forgot what they all looked like, they were burning memories fraying away. You’re sure you’d forget the sound of his voice in a couple weeks too, just like you did with all of them.
Bucky was your world and you were his, but that was before he was ripped away by Hydra, he promised he’d always come back to you, despite all odds and more importantly time, will he keep that promise?
The door clicked shut, the rain stopped pattering on the windows, but god was the air in here thick. You don’t know why you were surprised being stuck in a room with two Peters, it was of course going to be awkward, it was in their nature.
“So, you have super powers?”
You looked away from the door landing on the voice of the Spider man that stitched you up “Yup”
“That’s so cool” He grinned, his eyes lighting up like a child on christmas, it made something warm run through your veins.
“I mean, you have ’super powers’ too”
He nodded “Yes but, i hear your’s are better”
You let a smile take over your face “Well, too bad we couldn’t swap for a day to put that theory to the test”
“Crazier things have happened” The older Spiderman in the corner pipped in.
“Yeah, what’s going on?” you gesture between them
“Well, i can’t tell you, your Peter’s side but i was just doing my nightly patrol and next thing i knew it was day time, i was here, and it wasn’t my New York anymore”
You turned your head to the older Peter “About the same for me, i wasn’t doing patrol though, can i ask you something?”
“Yeah of course”
“Do you know how time works here? Because I have someone back home - in my universe, and it’s always been almost a full day since –”
“A full day? You’ve been here twenty four hours already?” You stood up clutching your side, walking towards the window.
The two Peters looked frantically at each other like they just got your Peter in trouble.
“H-he tried to call you earlier but we told him n-not t —“
You peaked over your shoulder “Lying for him already Parker?“
“W-what no!”
You tried to open the window but struggled because of your wound, tall Peter rushed over to help you. He moved to
lean against the window sill as you stuck your hand outside, closing your eyes “Time moves faster here, a minute there is an hour here, vise versa” Your eyes shot open, they were glowing white.
“Holy shi -“ The Peters spoke together, their voices blending as you listened to the universe, your universe.
The door opened and your Peter rushed in, followed by Ned and MJ, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. His senses are going off the chart “What’s going on?!” he frantically looked around till he zeroed in on you. Eyes white, with your hand out the window vibrating ever so slightly.
“We don’t know, she wanted the window open then she stuck her hand out, closed her eyes said something about time here and boom, her eyes were white”
Your Peter rushed over to you, being careful because of your wound, slightly shaking you “Y/n?! Y/n?! What’s going on?”
You could hear the chatter around you, making out the sound waves of each voice but your consciousness was to far gone to fully hear what was going on but you could sense the anxiety in the room but you were so close so you kept going till you saw it.
The multiverse was breaking apart, tearing at the seams. You could see each crack in the timeline, each cracking coming from your universe and Peter took part in delivering the final blow.
You heard a small voice that you could make out Peter’s, your Peters “You’re scaring me y/n, please stop”
Your eyes closed shut before reopening focusing on everyone in the room, as you tried to keep your balance.
“What was that?” Peter’s voice was quiet
“The multiverse is shattered” You voice was quiet, in complete disbelief of how reckless you all were.
Your Peter placed his hands on his hips “Well, yeah” he gestured to the two other Spiderman’s standing behind him “That’s why they’re here”
“No Pete, that’s not at all what i meant” You ran your hand through your hair “God this is so bad Peter, have you heard from Strange?”
Peter turned to look at Ned and MJ, all of their faces had guilt written all over them “About that”
“What’d you do Pete? I need the full story now, this is so bad”
Peter 3 stepped from out behind your Peter “I hate to interrupt but your bleeding, you must of ripped your stitches”
You looked down and sure enough you were bleeding through your bandages “Screw this” you mumbled, ripping the white wrap off, you started pulling out stitches, holding back your tears.
“Woah woah woah, no no” . Fluffy hair Peter started waving his hands at you.
Your Peter put his hand out to stop him “No shes gonna heal them”
“How is that” he pointed towards you ripping out the final stitch “Gonna heal them”
“Just watch”
And he did, they all did as you closed your eyes, a small humming noise came from your throat, only the three with heightened senses picked it up as a glow started to illuminate from your hands, you skin started glowing around the claw marks in your skin and it slowly started to mend back together, leaving scars in there place.
Your Peter moved to stand by you because he knew after this was done you were going to be exhausted, last time this happened Peter almost didn’t catch you as you were falling from the side of a building after you finished healing Tony.
“Holy shit”
“Yeah, what he said?” The eldest Peter pointed towards Peter 3, stunned.
Your eyes opened and you started leaning backwards but a firm figure caught you “Thanks Pete”
“Let’s get you to the couch, i have a lot to tell you”
“That you do”
“That was so cool Miss. Y/L/N!”
You chuckled sitting on the couch “Thanks Ned”
“So, start talking”
And he did, like he always did, everything meshed into one giant sentence but you’ve known Peter long enough to sort the story out in your head.
Rubbing your temples “You’re telling me Strange, our Doctor Strange cast a spell for you, because everyone knows who you are and you couldn’t get into MIT because of it? And everyone that knows Peter Parker is Spiderman from other universes, is here?”
He nodded “Its not as bad as it sounds, I have a plan”
You ignored him, your mind racing to try and put the pieces together “Wait, so where is Strange?”
“Well um, i kind of left him in the Mirror Dimension”
“I can’t believe this” You placed your head in your hands, shaking your head
“I know its bad y/n, I messed up so bad, but I’m gonn –”
You stood up, heading towards the door, you were about to have a full blown panic attack and the only person you wanted to call right now was Bucky, and you knew you couldn’t do that, you shouldn’t do that but you were going to cave.
“Y/n, please don’t go i need your help, i do - “
‘“I’m not gonna leave you Pete, I promise. I just need a minute, this is a lot.” You reached for his shoulder giving it a small squeeze “Plus you need to get them” you pointed at Ned and MJ “Somewhere safe, and that isn’t here”
MJ started shaking her head “Nuh huh, were staying right here”
You peaked over his shoulder towards them “Unless either of you have any super powers, or abilities i’m not aware of then you go, i’m not gonna be responsible for someone else’s blood on my hands” with that you shut the door behind you, making your way to the roof.
“She’s so cool” Ned breathed out
MJ turned to him “She just kicked us out”
Ned nodded vigorously “Yeah, we just got kicked out of an Avenger safe house by an Avenger, so cool”
She gave a small smile “Kinda cool”
Peter 1 turned towards them “She’s right though, you guys should go somewhere that isn’t anywhere near all of this”
“I can portal us to my Lola’s”
MJ lifted up Doctor Strange’s box “But were taking this with us”
“You can’t honestly be thinking of signing this y/n?” Steve was pacing as he held up the Sokovia Accords.
“What’s so bad about wanting to keep this” you pointed to all the Avengers in the room “Together, we do this together but i think the best way to fight those is to stay together, so we figure a way out“
“One hand on the wheel” Natasha smiled, nodding towards you
Steve ignored her “Y/n, if we sign these we’d be signing ourselves over to people like Hydra, the ones that took Bucky”
“How dare you bring Bucky into this” You pointed at Steve “This has nothing to do with him!”
He dropped the accords on the table “This has everything to do with him, he wouldn’t want you to sign this y/n! I don’t want you to sign this, we’re all we have left!” His features softened when he watched you flitch at his tone, lowering his voice he continued “Which is why we gotta stay together y/n”
“Give me a break Cap” Tony placed his drink down pinching his nose “If Y/n wants to sign let her sign” He came over and gave your shoulder a squeeze “At least one of you old timers seems to have a solid head on their shoulders”
Steve’s jaw clenched “Governments are run by people with agendas, and agendas change.”
Present
“Are you sure this is it? Its like in the middle of nowhere”
You nodded, grabbing cash out of your pocket “Yeah, this is it”
“I can take you further if you want”
Giving him a $100 bill, you shook your head “Its fine, thank you”
“Superheroes,” he muttered under his breath before driving back down the mainroad.
You watched the lights fade as you started walking forward, the gravel road crunching under your shoes.
You always loved nature, even before you found out what you were capable of. It was always a safe space for you, no judgement, just peace and quiet. You always wondered if maybe that was why you were gifted the way you were, your Grandmother before she passed when you were 10 she used to tell you all the time about how you were destined for great things, that she saw the life you were destined to live, and she told you to keep pushing through that the sun would shine upon you.
At the time you thought it was due to old age because that was crazy, but it turns out it wasn’t but you were still waiting for the sun to shine because all you could see was clouds and even now out in nature your mind was plagued with old memories invading your every thought, and never usually the good kind.
The Accords were what tore the team apart and you couldn’t help but think if you wouldnt of signed them then maybe things between Bucky and you would have been different, maybe Steve wouldn’t have left and maybe you wouldn’t be as alone as you were now. .
You were jittering, wrapping your arms around yourself to comfort you from your own mind.
Why were you so anxious? It was just Peter, young sweet Peter.
Peter Parker the one you haven’t seen or reached out to since Tony’s funeral and that was what 7 or 8 months ago, it had to have been almost a year. Time was flying by and you were doing nothing but watching it.
You should have checked up on him, it’s what Tony wanted you to do, he didn’t ask anything of you in his letter to you from his will he pretty much handed over ‘Superhero parent guardianship over the creepy crawler’ to you and you failed him.
But you had to try to give yourself the benefit of the doubt right? Because you were on your way to help him now, that has to count for something. And Tony didn’t know Steve was going to leave and Bucky was going to take half of you with him, abandoning the rest on the side of the road like excess baggage.
Your thoughts were loud but nothing was as loud as the rustling you heard coming from the bushes.
You froze “Who’s there” you lifted your hand up letting it illuminate light so you could see better “I’m not going to ask again”
You used your other hand to wave the trees to sway to the left, you saw glowing eyes staring back at you “Is that a threat?” was all your heard before a giant fucking lizard charged at you, his claw got your side before you had time to react fully.
“What the — “ You screamed, using the air around you to swirl around whatever the heck that thing was, lifting him off the ground and sending it far away from you. You heard it shouting at you as strong gusts of wind carried the creature with it.
You laid there clutching your side, panting. Staring up at the stars “Was that my punishment for not checking up on Pete?” You asked absolutely no one, but a small breeze made the bushes to the right of you sway, showing a dim light illuminating in the distance.
The house.
You grunted pushing yourself up “Was totally my punishment” you mumbled under your breath, as you limped towards the house.
“We could ask for more help”
“We have 3 Spidermans. What more help could we use?”
Ned shrugged “Other Avengers, there still some left with cool powers”
Peter 2 and 3 shared a confused look “Avengers?” Peter 2 questioned.
Peter 1’s eyes opened in shock “Neither of you have the Avengers?” he pointed between them “Thor? Captain America? Iron man?”
Peter 3 shook his head “Are they a band? Those are some awesome names”
Peter shook his head vigorously “No there earth’s mightiest heroes! I can’t believe you don’t have them”
The older Peter stepped forward “Will they help us? The more the merrier”
Ned cleared his throat “Well, lots of them are uh dead after Thanos, or off world, retired or gone rogue” he paused “But I know there’s for sure three that could help!”
The youngest Peter brought his eyebrows together “H-how do you know that?”
He shrugged “I tapped into one of your phone calls with Happy by accident”
“We’ll deal with that later but i could ask Y/n but i don’t know if she’ll answer she’s been distant since Mr.Stark”
“Drama in the superhero world?” Ned asked eagerly crossing his arms
“What about the other two?” Peter 3 questioned, ignoring Ned.
“I’m not, um close with them, I kicked their bu - ass’s one time in a fight and well i just don’t think that would go over very well”
Peter reached into his pocket grabbing his phone, staring at your number, he was hesitant he hasn’t spoken to you in months. It almost felt wrong bringing you into his mess, a mess that wouldn’t have happened if he went to you first.
“Hey Pete, you don’t have to do this” MJ reached over placing her hand in his
He gave her a soft smile “Yeah i do” he pressed on your number, it rang a few times he didn’t expect you to answer so fast “Y/n, I-I need your help, i mes -” he got up, leaving the room.
“So, Avengers” The older Peter tried to ease the silence after Peter 1 left
“Yeah what kind of powers does y/n have? Is she super strong, or fast, or is she magic too?” Peter 3 quipped excitedly
“Oh she has the coolest powers!” Ned started his eyes wide with excitement “She controls everything”
“Everything?” The Peters said in together
“Yeah like, the elements she can do whatever she wants with them, or like everything that has matter i think, i’m honestly not really sure that’s just what i’ve seen online” He shrugged casual
“That sure is something” The eldest Peter said in awe
“How do you get powers like that? Like did she get knocked over by the wind or something” Peter 3 quipped
“Uh no it’s actually super sad and complicated, they have her story in the smithsonian Peter knows it better then me, he wouldn’t stop bugging her for months about it, i think she was chosen? like by the earth or nature like the earth incubated her in the 40s after Captain America died, then she just showed up out of -“.
This universe Peter entered the room, Ned stopped talking almost immediately. Peter kept his phone in his hand, his eyes still lingering on it, he didn’t have to have the senses he did to know all the eyes were on him awaiting an answer, he cleared his throat “She’s on her way”
“That’s great! I’ve always wanted to meet her, this is so cool she’s like my 3rd favourite Avenger, well i guess she’s first now ever since –”
“Ned.” MJ glared at him, nudging him to stop.
“Oh, sorry dude”
Peter 1 waved it off “Just don’t bring up the Avengers okay? Especially Captain America and Sergeant Barnes, Please” His eyes looked over everyone, he received nods from everyone even though two of them in the room had no idea who they were. He knew Steve leaving was hard on you, that’s what Happy kept telling him about why you needed space from everything but then Peter read online about how the Falcon and Winter soldier were doing missions together and you weren’t there. So he knew something more was going on.
He sighed, rubbing his hands down his face, hoping that with y/n helping a weight would be lifted off his shoulders.
“You know you can talk to us right? I mean at the end of all this we won’t even be here in this universe anymore, and we don’t even know any of these people so we are not biassed towards anyone” Peter 3 offered a kind smile.
Peter thought about it before opening his mouth “It’s just there’s no one left, before it was so amazing, the avengers we were such a good team, i mean from the experience i have and i was only close with Mr. Stark and Y/N but from the stories they told me it was just like the best and now its all gone, everyones well gone” He paused before taking a seat on the couch next to MJ “There’s only a handful of us left and were divided again, not that we were even a team to start with and i just feel this weight on my shoulders, like i have these shoes to fill, there big shoes, and I know everyone has their own things to deal with and y/n has a lot going on, but i should have called her sooner, it’s just a mess, everything is a mess” he paused looking up at everyone “I have to fix it”
Before anyone could respond there was a knock at the door, Peter paused jumping off the chair “That must be her” he walked towards the door.
“That was oddly fast” Peter 3 spoke to no one in particular
“They’re called super heros for a reason” Ned laughed
Peter took a big breath before opening the door revealing you clutching your side “Hi Pete” you offered him a smile that most certainly did not reach your eyes.
His eyes shot down to your side, he quickly ushered you inside “W-what happened? Your bleeding” He wrapped his arm around your waist as you hobbled further inside.
“You weren’t kidding” You let out an airy laugh as your eyes scanned the room, just as you rounded the corner, 8 pairs of eyes peering into you.
“Are you okay?” An older gentleman wearing a suit shot up.
“Yeah there’s just like a giant lizard running around, and I was just not paying attention, distracted” you gestured to your head. ”It’s fine really, I just need the first aid kit over there” You pointed towards the bathroom.
The tallest Spider Man wasted no time in running over to retrieve it, as you took your arm off your side, you unzipped your jacket, your white shirt was now stained red.
“Why weren’t you wearing your suit y/n!” Your Peter raised his voice slightly “Mr. Stark said —“
“Do you wear yours everywhere you go?” You cut him off giving him a slight shove “And i do have it” you raised your arm showing him the bracelet around your left wrist “I just didn’t have time to activate it because i was caught off guard by a giant lizard” you took your white top off, just in your black sports bra now “Oh wow he got me good” 2 big gashes a couple inches long grazed your side.
The middle Peter was frantically going through the kit “I’m so sorry, i’ve been there” he pointed at your wound “It sucks, c- can i?”
You nodded, as he started to disinfect the wound “So this is quite a mess hey”
His eyes shot down to his feet “I know, I’m so –”
You put your hand up “Don’t apologise Pete, people make mistakes things happen, it’s okay” a shaky breath left your throat as the middle Peter brought out a needle to stitch you up.
“How can you say that? This is all my fault”
“We all make mistakes, but we fix them or we try our best to, that’s what matters”
“Mr. Stark would have been so mad at me”
“Yeah, he would have been” Peter’s eyes suddenly left yours, you reached your hand out to grab his “But he made so many mistakes to Pete, please stop being so hard on yourself, nobody’s perfect”
“An Avenger should be, i need to do better”
You smiled “The Avengers were far from perfect, they are probably the most imperfect group of heroes ever” Peter 3 was now bandaging your side, he gave you a slight nod as he finished.
“Thank you” You gave him the best smile you could but he didn’t even have to know you like your Peter did to see how it didn’t reach your eyes.
He felt flustered for the first time in a long time as your big ocean eyes stared into his, he scratched the back of his head “It’s not a problem really, he is my villain and all” he felt his heart slightly break as you turned to face your Peter again.
“So, are you gonna fill me in i have no idea what’s going on and why there’s two other versions of you standing in a safe house i swore id never come back to”
Peter’s mouth felt open as he looked around and he pointed at the ground “This is the…?” He trailed off knowing if his thoughts were true he wouldn’t need to finish
You nodded before you could answer another voice piped in.
“Wait, you don’t know what’s going on? You haven’t seen the news but your an Ave —“
“Ned” Peter’s and MJ voices meshed into one
Peters eyes looked back to you, you could see the sincerity in them “It’s fine Pete, uh no i haven’t seen the news, i’ve been out of the loop for awhile” You could feel your heart rate rise as it suddenly started raining outside, all eyes were on you as you swallowed the lump in your throat, 3 people in this room could surely hear how your heart rate picked up and 1 for sure knew that the rain outside wasn’t a confidence.
You could tell Peter was having an internal battle with himself, he reached out and gave your hand a squeeze before turning to his two friends “Can i uh, talk to you two outside?”
“Us?” MJ pointed between Ned and her
Peter nodded, walking towards the front door.
“But it’s raining”
Peters eyes went back to you “Not for long”
The two of them reluctantly got up, you closed your eyes again, you haven’t been so out of control of your powers in a long time, you were better than this, but were you really?
You couldn’t think of a good memory anymore to calm you down because they were all tainted.
TASM!Peter Parker x reader (eventually), Bucky x reader (Past)
Word Count: 2.1k
Warnings: Angst
A/N: Ive always loved Andrew Garfields Spider Man, but ive never really got around to writing for him and now that im getting settled in my new house I thought why the heck not. My heart beats for Bucky Barnes so I of course had to find away to add him in here lol.
This fic will of course be based off NWH (SPOILERS) But its not at all going to follow everything down to a T, The only thing that’s going to be the same is the fact the Spider man’s are in our universe and they want to cure the villains.
And in case you get confused while reading, the reader was born in 1920, grew up with Steve and Bucky, her and Bucky were engaged before he enlisted. Bucky and Steves storylines are still the same. Will of course get more into their relationship in further parts! And how she got her abilities.
You were out of touch with the world and everything that was going on in it, which had to be a lot - it was always a lot.
You finally mustered up the courage to leave your new home, scratch that apartment, nothing and no one was ever going to be home to you again.
You were done, done looking at the brighter side of things like Tony told you to do, you should have listened to Natasha, love was for children and you were so young when you fell in love with him, and the two of you were most certainly not children anymore.
Life was hard, you always knew it would be but you never in a hundred years expected your path to go the way it did.
How did you get it so wrong? You couldn’t stop thinking maybe you shouldn’t have mustered up the courage to talk to the boy next door when you were an adolescent, that you should have just let it be and maybe you wouldn’t have been sucked into the whirlpool that was your life.
That maybe you would have found a husband, had a couple of children and died at 80 like everyone you had ever known did.
Pairings: Bucky x reader, Natasha x reader (Platonic sorta), Steve x reader (Platonic)
Word Count: 3.5k
A/N: Found this deep deep in my drafts so that’s cool, its not edited or proof read, just trying to clear old fics out! There will be a part 2 I never finished this or made a part two when I wrote this so working on that now! Enjoy
Bucky and you had a long history, and I don’t mean long as in only a decade but 7 of them.
You were the girl next door literally,you grew up directly next door to Bucky. You moved in right before puberty hit not just the boys but you too.
It was always just you three and it was the first time you had any real friends, your father was part of the army, science sector of it so you were constantly moving never having enough time to actually make any life long friends let alone fall in love but when he went missing, later discovered dead in some secret lab he had under your house, your mother and you packed up and moved to the city that everyone wanted to live in, New York.
With the endless amount of possibilities or more so the endless amount of men your Mother could shack up with and have them support her and yourself. You didn’t mind of course as long as she was happy, you were happy.
That was until her latest husband David started yelling a lot, then he started drinking a lot, then he hit you for the first time. Your mother told you it was the wrong place at the wrong time, you walked into the house right as they were fighting and he struck you. You never said anything except went straight to your room, then climbed out your window back to where Bucky was.
And when he saw you, you broke down. He promised he’d always be here for you and you were the only girl that would ever have his heart. He was true to his word to a certain extent. That was until puberty hit and every girl was throwing themselves at him, it was inevitable he was gorgeous.
He went out with every girl in town, except for you because you weren’t as pretty as them even though he always would get drunk and end up climbing through your window instead of his, telling you just how you were the most beautiful girl he’d ever laid eyes on how he was so lucky to have you, but then the next day when you woke up he was gone, back out the window and back to holding some other dame in his arms.
But when the war got worse and people were getting their letters left and right you knew Bucky’s were coming and he stopped seeing other girls and he spent all his time with Steve and you.
It was different, he would hold your hand on the street, he would take you dancing, he would take you on dates. You found yourselves constantly under the sheets intertwined with one another and then one night when he thought you were sleeping he told you while running his fingers through your hair that it was only ever going to be you, it was only ever you and when he saw any future it was always with you.
He told you he was hopeless in love with you since the day he saw you standing by the moving truck holding a box and you tried your hardest not to open your eyes and tell him you were in love with him too.
The next day he enlisted and spent the last night he had with Steve and you at some Stark thing you cared nothing about but at the same time everything about because Bucky cared about it and you cared about Bucky.
And just like that he was gone and the first decade of your history had ended before it ever really started. When Steve showed up on your step to tell you about Bucky and to give you the book that Bucky wrote to you every single day, he told you he was going to avenge his death and he would come back to you, and then he never did either. When Peggy Carter knocked on your door to tell you about Steve you shut the door and shut anyone out that was left in your life.
Till sometime in the 50’s in the paper it said Howard Stark was looking for volunteers and you never forgot how much Bucky would beam at the opportunity so you showed up at the base and he said yes before you could even speak after hearing how you were Steve’s best friend.
You were injected with the closest hope to the next super soldier serum without the drastic physical changes. They called you Miss America, and you hoped you would have made your boys proud but when Howard noticed you weren’t ageing as you should they ran tests, discovering that your cells rengernated at an extremely fast rate now allowing you to age as you should before you could run more tests and possibly find an antidote or even how enchanced you really were, Howard was killed.
You were alone again, Peggy tried her best to keep you company and to keep you hidden, you should have been in your late 60’s like her but instead you looked 3 decades younger than her, she thought it would be best to fake your death so that’s what you did.
Y/N Y/L/N died in 1995 at the age of 75, your cause of death was undetermined. That’s when Lily Barnes was created, born in 1965 making you 30 years old, which is what you would stay looking for the next 2 decades, when they found Steve on ice you could have sworn you saw a wrinkle that was never there before.
When he found out Peggy was alive he was of course over the moon but when he saw you he couldn’t believe his eyes. He had Fury look into you and when he saw a death certificate, they found where you were buried and it was beside Bucky. But yet you were standing directly in front of him looking like you had only aged 5 years in the last 70. You told him everything, he was so mad at first but he came to terms with it when he realised he wasn’t going to be alone.
Fury tried to recruit you for the avengers but you wanted nothing to do with making new friends and losing them your heart simply couldn’t handle it. Fury understood told you he didn’t like it but he understood, he put you in a safe house Steve respected your wishes and besides Fury, Steve was the only one who knew where you were that until a red head knocked on your door, Steve beside her and he told you to suit up, you did no questions asked.
The next thing you knew you were on a jet, getting debriefed about someone by the name of Thano’s. But when you were getting close to a place called Wakanada, your heightened sense picked up on something you.
“Steve, what’s wrong?” You stood by Natasha putting all your weapons in their correct spot.
“What isn’t wrong?” Natasha tried to joke but you ignored it.
“Stevie” You asked again “You know I can tell that I can sense literally everything right?”
He gave you a soft smile “I forgot you were enhanced” he sighed “There’s something i haven’t told you”
“No shit” You smiled
“She doesn’t know?” Sam asked from the front seat, Steve shook his head in response.
“How much doesn’t she know?” Natasha whispered
“None of it”
Natasha looked at you, placing a hand on your shoulder “I’m sorry in advance, I didn’t know” she then proceeded to sit by Sam, giving Steve and you the space you apparently needed for this conversation.
“I’m so sorry y/n, i just, there was so much going on and you wanted to stay out of it and i know if you knew you would have been brought back in, but then Natasha happened and i didnt know about there history and he was so happy, I haven’t seen him smile like that since you, then Wakanda happened, he deserved to be free, he deserves to be happy and so do you and it was wrong of me not to say anything, your my best friend you took care of Peggy, I – “
“Steve, slow down, what are you talking about?” Your senses were in overload, you could feel every atom, every fibre in the air, alerting you that you needed to run, that you needed to fight.
He gave you the same eye’s he gave you when your Ma past, the same eyes he gave you when Bucky forgot about your birthday because Dot said yes to a date, the same eyes he gave you when he told you Bucky died. “He’s alive, Bucky’s alive”
“What? Steve that’s not funny”
“I know, I’m not joking” He reached just beside the shield and handed you a file that said CLASSIFIED in big red letters “Were arriving in an hour, I’m sorry I should have told you sooner, everything you need to know is in here. I’ll be right over there if you need me, I’m here for you”
The file was heavy in your hands, your mouth was dry. When you read his name at the top it felt you were swallowing a razor blade. You read everything as fast as you could, you held back tears, letting the metaphorically razor blade cut any emotions you wanted to have. You were angry, so angry, so hurt that this was kept from you, you wanted to kill Steve Rogers, you wanted to murder Captain America. But no more than you wanted to kill yourself, he was alive this whole time, the same time you were alive. You could have done something, why didn’t you know to do something? You should have felt he was still alive and in pain, he was your soulmate, he said you were soulmates. That was until you got to the second last page in the file, it was an HR paper from Stark Industries and your eyes were blurring with tears when you saw the world’s relationship and saw two signatures at the bottom one reading James Barnes and the other Natasha Romanoff.
“Landing in 5, 4, 3 – “ You heard Sam counting down, you placed the file down. You took a deep breath soaking in every fibre of information presented to you in the last hour. You stood up having an internal battle of whether you should kill Steve now or later, you wanted to strangle Natasha, but it wasn’t her fault, you couldn’t blame Bucky, she was amazing if you swung that way you would have fallen for her too, you should have known the second Steve told you he was alive, before you even opened the file, he always had a thing for redheads. You clipped your last knife to your thigh.
You gave Natasha a small smile and she returned it. You could feel Steve’s presence hovering beside you, as the doors whired open “Does he know?” you didn’t even look at Steve as the doors slowly opened.
“No” He sighed “Im so sore –”
You shook your head “Don't”
Natasha was the first one out, no doubt in your mind wanting to see Bucky, Steve followed shortly after, then Sam, then Bruce, the Rhodey, than you’
Her arms wrapped around his neck, her lips grazed his you heard her mumble an ‘i miss you’, that metaphorical razor you swallowed sliced your heart in half.
Steve hugged Bucky, whispering something to him and his blue eyes searched for you, disbelief written all over his face. He started to make his way to you, but stopped just before he could reach you, his eyes trailed over your figure, tears brimmed his eyes “Doll, I -”
You cleared your throat, shifting your demeanour from heart broken and love sick back to someone you swore you never wanted to be again and that was Miss America “We have a fight to win Sargent.”
He blinked a few times, shifting his gaze to Steve and he shrugged in return, he turned back to you “But I - “
Steve came up beside him “She’s right Buck”
Bucky looked like he was having an internal battle within himself before he nodded and the team made their way to the battle ground, Bucky never leaving your side, his pace stayed with you the whole time until the fight started, he kissed Natasha on the cheek wishing her good luck, before he got the chance to say something to you, your back was already turned getting in your fight stance.
You lost him for a while during the battle, while still keeping an eye on him without being too obvious. You did the same with Steve you knew he was more than capable and was no longer that little boy from brooklyn, even though you were still mad at him he was still your best friend, well one of them.
The fight dragged on, and when you thought you had any possible chance of winning, people started turning to dust all around you “no no no” you mumbled running closer to Steve, your eyes locked with Bucky “Y/n….” he trailed off before he was completely gone.
F i v e whole years.
Five whole years of losing Bucky again, five years of growing so close to Natasha you would consider her your best friend. It was just you two in the compound, you came back to the whole superhero lifestyle and tried your best to do anything you could to keep things running smoothly. It was hard half the fucking world was missing, but your whole world was.
You wanted to hate Natasha you did, she had everything you ever wanted in the palm of her hands and yet you couldn’t. She was everything you aspired to be. You were nothing like her and it made sense why Bucky kept anything you thought you had in the dark, it wasn’t because you thought he was savouring it, soaking up every moment, no it was because he was ashamed.
You wanted nothing more than to hate her, it would have made things so much easier but she was just as amazing as everyone made her out to be, you hoped you could somehow find a way to get Bucky back and selfishly you hoped he would wildy confess his undenying love to you but you knew that would never happen, and at the same time you were rooting for them, he was your everything then and she was your everything now.
You could push your heart break aside for decades again couldn’t you?
Could you die from a broken heart? You hoped it would make everything so much easier.
But you didn’t and here you were about to do fucking time travel. Standing on the platform you tried to tune out all the energy and nerves you could feel radiating off of everyone, a hand found its way on your shoulder “Were gonna get him back Natasha smiled at you before turning to the rest of your teammates, her family “See you in a minute”
“You know, i thought living as long as i have would have been the craziest thing to ever happen to me” You smiled thinking of all the crazy shit you experienced in your overly lived lifetime.
“But here we are, in space going to some place called Vormir, don’t be too full of yourself y/n’’ You laughed, bumping your shoulder against hers.
“Welcome” A voice echoed behind you. Grabbing your knife, Natasha reached for her gun. “Natasha, daughter of Ivan. Y/n, daughter of Lilith.
As you both made your way forward you tensed immediately recognizing who is in front of you.
“Who are you?” Natasha questioned, your knives still raised.
“Consider me a guide, to you and to all who seek the Soul Stone”
You eyed her cautiously before taking a step forward “Oh good, you tell us where it is, then we’ll be on our way”
Red skull looked at you “If only it were that easy”
He turned around starting to move forward, you looked at Natasha, she shrugged in response and then the two of you followed him near the edge of a cliff, what looked to be a sunset in the distance.
“What you seek lies in front of you, as does what you fear”
Natsha pushed ahead peering over the edge “The stones down there” Her back to you.
“For one of you” Red skull respond
You were overwhelmed, you could feel the stone, you could feel the calmness, the sureness radating off of Natasha, her pure willingness. Your feet dragged you forward, peaking over hoping the stone would be in reach, which you knew it wouldn’t be, because it would be crazy for something to be that easy.
“For the other” He continued “You must lose that which you love, an everlasting exchange” He paused dramatically, you swallowed the lump in your throat “A soul for a soul”
She took your hand in hers, pulling you away from the ledge. Taking a seat on a rock, while you leaned on one. You knew what you had to do, what had to be done “Y’know, I think our hopefully chatter doomed us”
She smiled at you “We cant seem to ever catch a break huh?”
“People like us never really do it seems”
She stood up turning to face you “And here i thought we found a little bit of break in each other the last 5 years”
You smiled back at her “It’s always too good to be true”
“Whatever it takes” She took your hand in hers
Swallowing back the lump in your throat “Whatever it takes”
She stared in your eyes, you felt nothing but love and longing radiating off of her “If we don’t get that stone y/n, millions of people stay dead, Barnes stays dead”
Nodding in agreement “He deserves a life Nat” You placed your other hand on hers “A great one and you —“
“I’m starting to think we mean different people here y/n”
“For the last five years Nat, all we’ve been trying to do is get to right here, that’s all its been about. Bringing every body back, getting Bucky back”
“Don’t you get all sappy on me now y/n/n”
“Nat..” you trailed off
“You think I want to do this? I’m trying to save your life you idiot”
You squeezed her hand “Yeah, well I don’t want you to. I’ve lived long enough Nat, this would be a great way to go” You smiled back your tears “Bucky has you, i have you” you looked off towards the sunset “It’s not that bad of a sight, y’know if its the last thing i see”
She placed her free hand on your cheek, turning your head to face her again “I loved Bucky” her eyes piercing into yours “But i love you more”
“No, Nat -“
“I wasn’t finished” Her thumb swept one out of a dozen fallen tears finding their way down your cheek “But he could never love me, his heart belonged to someone else but the little piece of it i got to see” she took a deep breath “was so good, so i know that when i do this it’ll be worth everything for you to finally get whats already been yours”
You shook your head as she brought your forehead to hers before she continued “Whatever it takes”
You savoured this moment the best and longest you could “Okay, you win” You released her hand before sweeping your leg under hers, placing your arm across her chest and pinning her down “Tell Bucky and Steve i love them”
She grunted before hitting your arm, and using her legs to flip you around before standing up and pointing her widow bite at you “You tell em’ yourself” before shooting it at you, an electrical charge attacked your body.
She started to run towards the edge before you recovered, grabbing your knife and aiming it at her leg grazing the side enough to knock her down.
Before you started to charge at full speed to the edge, as you were about to fall, she wrapped her arms around you shooting your grappling hook at the top of the cliff, you both swung back at full force smashing into the edge, you looked up “No no no” you tighten your grip on her but you could feel her slipping “How do you know i love you! This could be for nothing you dont know”
“I know”
You tried to reach her with your other hand for a better grip but failed
“Let me go”
“No” you sobbed “No please no”
“Its okay” she smiled
“Please” Tears were burning down your face, before she kicked off the wall her arm ripped from your grip.
“No!” You screamed till your throat was raw, as you looked down you saw her lifeless body laying there.
Everything went black and you could hear water running, you sat up frantically, you were no longer hanging off the cliff, as you lifted your hand out of the water a single stone laid in it. Your tears meshed with the water before you were being brought back.
“Did we get ‘em all?”
“Are you telling me this actually worked?”
You dropped to the ground, cheeks raw from crying, you could feel all eyes on you, “Y/n? Where’s Nat?” Bruce questioned, you turned to look at Steve, shaking your head no, avoiding all the other eyes because you wouldn’t dare look into there eyes, you were nothing to them.
TW: This story mentions su!cide read ad your own risk.
Word Count: 2k
A/N: I feel bad for not posting for awhile so I just went through my drafts and found this to post in the mean time. Im currently moving so super busy so having a hard time making time to write! Sorry x
Do you ever get to that point where everything just feels so god damn heavy.
Like the air around you is holding you down making it hard to even take a step forward and you want nothing more than to move forward but your stuck here watching everyone around you move on, leaving you in the dust because that’s where you were right now and every you loved was so far ahead you could no long reach forward and hold on to them for any kind of support.
The only thing you could do was fall, and you wanted to stay standing on your feet but the air was so heavy and your legs were giving out.
“Y/n?”
“Mmm?” Your eyes were darted up, searching for the face to the voice
Sam sighed raising his hand “I’m right here”
“Im sorry i was just in a daze”
He gave you a sad smile, his arms crossing over his chest “That’s been happening a lot lately, are you doing okay?”
Were you okay? How could you even answer that when you didn’t even know, you didn’t want to lie to Sam, it was Sam,he was your person when Bucky wasn’t here and Bucky hasn’t been here for 2 weeks because of a steak out mission he was on with Steve and you weren’t allowed to go because they only needed two people and you weren’t even in there roaster to be considered because of the incident.
You wouldn’t even call it an ‘incident’ because it was just a misunderstanding.
You weren’t suicidal at least you didn’t think you were at least not then, you didn’t mean to overdose but when you get tortured for 4 whole weeks the amount of pain your in after is a lot and you had a high pain tolerance so that was saying something you accidentally miscalculated when you were suppose to take your pain medication so you may have taken too much at once but everything hurt so fucking bad and you couldn’t wake Bucky because he barley got enough sleep and he looked so peaceful that night the way his eyelashes fluttered gently, and his perfect petal pink lips were slightly parted, no because that would have been selfish and the pain meds numbed everything anyway.
So you were on watch, even though that incidentwas a complete accident. Tony benched you until Cho cleared you and she wasn’t gonna clear you till Sam told her his honest opinion since you were abso-fucking-lutely not talking to another of of Stark’s half assed therapists and with Sam’s experience at the VA, they gave him the go ahead.
Here you were sitting on a couch in one of the compounds many meeting rooms with Sam sitting on a chair still staring at you waiting for a response. You loved Sam. He was patient, kind, empathetic and gave the best hugs. But you still didn’t have an answer for him.
You cleared your throat “When’s Bucky supposed to be back?”
“I’m not sure, check in is in —“ he paused to look at his phone “in about an hour”
You nodded, clicking your tongue trying to muster up the best smile you could, swallowing back the burning feeling in your throat fiddling your thumbs together.
“Y/n, you didn’t answer my question, i dont wanna push you but i care about you, your one of my best friends and i need you to be honest with me”
His brown eyes were peering into yours, they were soft with a hint of concern sparkling in them. Your heart rate started to spike, your palms were getting clammy, your eye sight blurring as tears threatened to spill over.
That heaviness you felt before was pushing you further into the leather couch, your palms were sticking to it like glue. You stood up abruptly your fight or flight kicking in “I can’t do this Sammy, i just can’t, its too much”
He stood up his hands were on your shoulders “You’re having a panic attack y/n, i need you to breathe with me”
You were shaking your head side to side, trying to follow his breathing but you had tunnel vision and the walls were caving in, the only thing you could see at the end of the tunnel washim “I need Bucky, i need Bucky, Sam” your hands were clawing at your throat trying to open it up to let air in “i need him, i can’t do this” You ran past him and out of the room, out of the compound.
Maybe if you kept running you could run to wherever Bucky was and you could be safe again, maybe the weight would be lifted off your shoulders.
You couldn’t breathe the air was suffocating you, the scars littering your body were burning, the ache in your heart was the only thing you could feel, the darkness clouding your mind telling you to go just close your eyes forever and all these feelings would just disappear, then you’d be how like you were before.
Before hydra, 4 months ago before they took you and kept you for weeks, before you the team finally found you, before you accidentally overdosed, before you were benched and before Bucky jumped at any chance to go on a mission to get away from who you were now. God you just wanted to go back to when you were you and not whoever you were now.
You couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe everyone might be better off without you.
If you weren’t here Sam wouldn’t be wasting a very rare day off spending the afternoon with you when you know he would much rather be anywhere else. If you weren’t here Bucky and Steve wouldn’t be steaking out the hydra base you escaped from. Tony wouldn’t have had to have held a press meeting taking away from his time with Pepper, Clint wouldn’t have come out of retirement to try and find you, Peter wouldn’t of missed the spring dance when he got the call they found you.
Everyone would definitely be better off without you.
Your thoughts were so loud you didn’t even hear the voice coming from behind you till you felt a hand touch your shoulder, you whipped around and it was Sam, he was holding his hand up letting you know he wasn’t going to hurt you like they did. He reached the phone out to you “It’s for you”
You shakily extended your hand grasping the phone in your hand bringing it to your ear, you didn’t say anything, you couldn’t say anything you were too busy trying to hold onto any air that you could.
“Doll?”
At the sound of his voice you choked out a sob and your knees gave out.
“You need to breathe for me okay? Can you try and do that please?”
You nodded frantically even though he couldn’t see you, you knew he would be able to hear the way your breathing slightly evened out.
You kept your eyes shut not bearing the possible waterfall that would escape them if you opened them. Maybe if the longer you kept the shut the better the chance you would have of drowning from the inside out.
“Good, that’s my girl” He paused waiting for you to respond but when he never did he continued “Sam told me what happened, are you okay?”
You shook your head no.
“Doll, i need you to talk to me”
“No” Your voice was quiet
You could hear him stand up, a chair sounded like it was being pushed back, and Steve mumbled something to him “What’s wrong? Were all here for you doll”
“But your not here Bucky”
He said something, you’re sure he did but the voice in your head was too loud to hear anything but your heart pounding in your ears.
You opened your eyes, staring at Sam as he was standing just a few feet away, you could see the worry lacing his face and you felt nothing but guilt, this was all your fault Bucky was risking the call being traced by hydra because of you.
You were selfish, you didn’t think of how much pain you were causing the people you loved the most around you, all because you weren’t strong enough to fight through the memories of what Hydra did to you. You were pathetic because Bucky went through 70 years of torture and you went through 4 weeks and were ripping at the seams.
You didn’t deserve any of them, you didn’t deserve to be an Avenger, you didn’t deserve to be here.
You were kneeling on the damp ground just at the base of where the trees surrounded the compound, past Sam you could see Tony pacing on the phone, surely talking to Ross about you and why the call was dragging past a minute.
And you knew, knew what had to be done.
Your bottom lip trembled “I love you James, so much” before you clicked the end button on the phone.
You sighed wiping away your tears, when Sam saw you pull the phone away from your ear he rushed over to help you up “How do you feel?”
“Thanks Sam” you handed him back the phone “for everything”
He put his arm around your shoulder holding you close to him “Of course y/n, what’s family for?”
The two of you made your way back towards the compound, Tony was no longer on the phone his arms were crossed at this chest “You okay kid?”
“I’m sorry”
He pulled you in for a hug “Nonsense, i needed someone to banter with today and he was the perfect candidate, so i should be thanking you”
You offered the best smile you could, you knew Tony saw right through it but he never said anything “Well i don’t know about you the two of you but i’m starving, was thinking pizza? Bump movie night up, my schedule is clear so that means everyone else’s is to”
Sam clapped his hands together “Now that’s the best idea i’ve ever heard come out of your mouth Stark”
A small laugh left your lips, you were gonna miss this.
“I’m gonna let that slide bird brain only because it made my favourite Avenger laugh”
“I’m gonna go to my room and freshen up okay?” you gestured to the dirt on you pants
“Yeah of course y/n/n, I got Friday on the pizza order, you think of a movie you wanna watch, Wilson will get the rest of the team and say we’ll see each other in an hour?”
You hugged Sam and Tony one last time “Sounds good boys, thank you for everything”
As you started to walk away you heard Tony tell “Uh were men?” and Sam laughed shouting “Don’t mention it”
By the time you got to your room, your mind was 99% made up.
The 1% you kept lingering on was Bucky. Would he miss you? Because you would miss him with everything in you. But you staying was going to hurt him more than you leaving. It was for the best, this was all for the best.
You sat down at your desk grabbing a pen and paper you started writing, the words flowed out like you were aching to say them for a long time, like somewhere inside of you had already thought and planned this out ages ago, but only now was it finally being executed.
This was where your story was meant to end, you were sure of it. You served your purpose, paid all your dues, it was your turn for peace and this was the only way you could think of finding it, if there was any.
You lined all 6 letters across the surface, smiling to yourself when they were spread perfectly, your eyes lingered on Bucky’s name and you picked it up, placing a kiss on his name, hugging it to your chest “I’m sorry” you said to no one but to everyone all at the same time.
Clicking the bathroom door shut, you turned the shower on, stepping in full clothed. You let out a shaky breath, a smile found its place on your face as your vision clouded, you were gonna see Natasha again.
You let the warm water soothe your skin, soaking in every droplet as you reached for the safety razor.
A/N: Not edited or proof read, next couple chapters gonna be pretty angsty, I promise one of the next parts will finally have the reader/bucky content.
After you were sure everyone was settled and no one would get in your way on the way to your room you finally left the jet. You felt like a ghost, your clothes smelt like a wet towel, your hair was frizzy and waving, only two things went well for you today: the overall mission of whatever those things were although you were sure they would be back, and that everyone on the team was safe.
You were trying your best to not focus on what you didn’t do, what you failed to do but what you could still do. You could run away and make sure you were never found, you could pretend you were okay and the whole thing was a misunderstanding, you could spill your guts to everyone but you weren’t sure which was the best option, you were praying they would be fourth.
When you finally made it to your room you couldn’t help but stop and stare at Bucky’s door just for a second, your hand lingering on yours a little part of you hoping he would sense you there and would open the door. The events of what happened mere weeks or was it months ago, replaying in your mind. You shuttered at the thought of it all, you slammed your door shut and instructed Friday to not let anyone in under any circumstances. You had tons of things you should be thinking about but your mind could only think of one thing, one person and that was Bucky.
You didn’t know what to make of the situation with Bucky. You could admit the timing of everything was absolutely horrible and you were absolutely not thinking straight when you did what you did. You were blinded by the darkness that was in you, the rage that’s in you, the guilt of every drop of blood that was on your hands and maybe this was your punishment for everything you had done wrong in life which was a lot. You didn’t even think of how it might affect certain people and by certain people you only meant two people, your ‘sister’ and Bucky.
Bucky would think it was his fault and of course it wouldn’t be it’s not like he pushed you over the edgeliterally, he actually jumped down with you, which made things even more confusing. No, he was just a factor to the whole equation, a huge factor but it was again your fault you relied on him too much for your own happiness it was greedy, right? Of course it was and that was the first mistake you made in the disaster of finally having your own life back after the Red Room. You didn’t even want to think of the three words you always dreamed of coming out of this mouth and when they finally did you thought you would feel more, you thought you would be overjoyed but you didn’t. Did you even want to be loved?
And god, your sister, you had loved her unconditionally and surely you could have told her how you were feeling but she would either call you a baby, tell you everyone has their own shit or she would cuddle you, you weren’t sure which option you wanted so you just never said anything. When you wanted, no needed someone the night you confessed your love to Bucky only to have the door slammed in your face you wanted to go to her but she would just simply tell you love was for children and you knew of her pass with Buc – the winter soldier. But when Sam said what he said about the noises he heard coming from Bucky’s room that night you could only assume the only person he would have in his room at that hour doing thatwas her because of their history and you couldn’t be mad at her you knew you couldn’t she didn’t know, no one knew to them it was just playful flirting between Bucky and you. But it didn’t mean it hurt, Natasha was your sister after all, the betrayal you felt was still there even if her knowledge of the love you had for Bucky wasn’t.
“I knew she was sad, i just didn’t know she was that sad” Wanda breathed out, after listening to what Sam had to say.
“Aren’t we all though? We all have baggage but nobody jumps off cliffs because of it” Natasha mumbled, picking at her nails.
All eyes snapped to her, Sam was quick to rebuttal “That’s a little harsh don’t you think?”
“Maybe a little but that wasn’t the point i was trying to make” She sighed leaning forward.
You came around the corner “Then what was it?“ You cocked your head to the side.
When no one said anything you laughed, it wasn’t a humorous laugh, it was dry and filled with pain “Weird my ears were bleeding like someone was talking about me, had to find out for myself” you grabbed a drink from the bar pouring yourself a glass of whisky, taking a sip “Oh please do continue, just pretend i’m not here” you winked.
“Y/n…” Sam took a cautious step forward eyeing his teammates.
You slammed the glass down “Really? No one has anything to say?” You started to pace “So you all freely can talk about me and the situation you know nothing about behind my back but when I am here” You gestured to the room, to everyone “Standing in front of you, no one cares? No one has anything to say?” You were almost yelling, your voice was raised suely echoing through the compound.
You weren’t going to lie to yourself. It felt good to yell, to finally express the emotions you were stacking on top of one another and pushing down for so long. But the longer the silence dragged on for, the longer you stared at the people that were supposed to be your family, the one you didn’t feel a part of anymore. You couldn’t help but think of all the times you were there, shoulders to cry on, the ears they wanted to, all the times you made sure they were truly okay, hoping that they would see that you weren’t okay, that you were just falling deeper and deeper into a hole.
“I am standing right here” Your voice no longer warranting the force it had just moments ago, but instead it was cracking at the seams “I am right here” your chest was rising and falling rapidly “I was hurting” a sharp inhale “i am hurting and i’ve always been here” a shaky exhale “I’ve always been here for all of you. I’m here now and you’re all here but no one is ever really there”
Natasha was the one that took a step forward, she just stared at you, the fire in her eyes burning into yours. Nat and you were close, she was your sister, the two of you a product of the same environment, you both lost each other along the way but when she escaped you were punished for her doing so, and was handed over to Hydra to be used as lab rat or a punching bag i depended on the day, while she was joining SHIELD. Her only request and requirement for joining the avengers was they had to find you and after ultron they did, you were finally home she said but nothing ever felt like home till Bucky.
Her voice firm and unwavering, ready for a challenge, her fist clenched “You were being selfish”
You were stunned, you flinched at her words, shock taking over your body soon followed by pure rage “I was, I was what? I was hurting! I am hurting”
“We’re all hurting!” She screamed a slight crack in her voice “But you don’t see us doing what you tried to do” Her finger jabbed into your shoulder pushing your back.
Tony came from behind Natasha placing a hand on her shoulder “Alright let’s calm down” She shrugged it off giving you a look you have never seen on her face, before she tried to stomped out of the room but your feet pulled you forward, heart racing “No, you don’t get to say that and leave!”
“Were done here” she whipped around “Im done”
You blinked, you could feel burning rage creeping its way up your spine “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I risked my life to save you! I risked my career to save you and this is how you repay me?” Her water line was brimming with tears, she scoffed “Your no sister of mine, my sister would never do something like that.”
You swallowed down your anger and betrayal “Your right” you smiled “Were not sisters and we haven’t been for a long time and we never will be again, Im done here” You turned to face the rest of the group “I quit”
“I am standing right here” Your voice no longer warranting the force it had just moments ago, but instead it was cracking at the seams “I am right here” your chest was rising and falling rapidly “I was hurting” a sharp inhale “i am hurting and i’ve always been here” a shaky exhale “I’ve always been here for all of you. I’m here now and you’re all here but no one is ever really there”
Warnings:Talking about the past, pet name, Bucky is a love sick puppy, sappiness like tooth rotten sappy. kissing, rough shower sex, mentions of alcohol.
Synopsis: The morning after leads to questioning gossip among the team and a nice hot refreshing shower.
“Hey, Has anyone seen Y/n? I can’t find her anywhere?” Wanda asks the team that all sit on the curved couches in the large main lounge room. The party has now but died down, leaving only a few close friends and the team to be wondering the compound.
“Last time I saw her, She was with Bucky on the balcony.” Sam wiggles his eyebrows, taking a smug filled sip of his beer.
“They’re not there anymore?”
“Now you think of it where did they run off to? I thoug—” Nat’s words got cut off at a shocked face Tony and panting Bruce, obviously trying to keep up with the playboy.
“You guys might want to take a look at this…” All the crew are quick to get up from their seats, heading down the hall to the meeting room. Tony Brings up the screen board that sits at the front of the room, while Bruce works the computer on the small desk next to it. A small USB flips through Tony’s fingers before he chucks it to Bruce.
“Come on what’s with all the tension, spill already.” Nat snarls slightly annoyed at the dark-haired for interrupting her earlier. Bruce stuck the USB in the computer, before beginning to talk.
“When people started to leave the party, Tony and I thought we should go have a little skim over the files that we got back from the latest mission.” Tony continued Bruce’s words;
“Most were basic information but One file caught our eye.” Tony threw the file onto the table, making it slide until it retched Steve that sat at the end. Opening it, The file contains, photos, documents, logbooks, and some note sheets about new experimentation that Hydra was doing.
“The file came with a USB, Which we decided to try and unlock but the coding on it is corrupted, showing us locked files. But we should be able to unlock it by tomorrow.” Bruce clicks a few buttons before showing locked files on the USB reading ‘Subject 02’, Surveillance 1-19, and More written in German.
“It seems this subject was the second to undergo heavy experimentation. The same unit Bucky was in.” It was like a pin dropped in the thick silence. Steve suddenly had full focus on the screen in front of them. Nat pulls a photo out of the file that’s on the large table, showing a little girl with her back facing the camera. Bright white wings covered in blood was the centrepiece of the photo, notes written on top, written in Russian and some in German.
“It says birth deformity? Does this mean this child was born with wings?” Nat passed the photo to Wanda, her shocked expression examines the photo.
“How is that possible?” Sam speaks up crossing his arms, leaning back on his chair, feeling a gross feeling in his chest from viewing the photos.
“We have no idea but we plan on getting answers tomorrow,” Tony said.
“What?” Clint almost coughed out confused at the man’s words.
“What he means is, we want to take care in this situation and try and understand what happened. We aren’t just going to barge in and harass Barnes on the matter.” Bruce cut Tony’s word, eyeing him with a stern stare.
“We can always get Wanda to read his cyborg mind.” Tony pops his lips with his words.
“Hang on, Buck knew her during his winter soldier phase? But he wasn’t himself what makes you think he’ll remember someone that probably meant nothing to him. There will be no need to read his mind.” Steve ticked off at the thought of his friend getting probed and invaded yet again. Bruce sighed at the tension spilling from Steve, trying to find the words to ease the room.
“We are not doing anything or telling Barnes until we open the USB. Who knows what we’ll find. But until then, we wait.” Bruce cuts all the chatter in the room off, wanting nothing more than to hurry up and get into the locked USB, so they can seriously get to the bottom of this new madness.
The bright sun creeps its way through the curtains of the warm room. Limps overlapping one another as soft snores are heard along with little grunts now and again. Bucky’s dream fades away slowly as his heavy eyes open, separating the sleep from the slit of his lids. His head moves ever so slightly, spotting your face tucked away in his chest, softly nuzzling your nose into him whenever you moved. Your hair is messy, makeup from last night is still on, but now it’s faded and smudged. Your warmth fills him with joy, having your weight gifting him security and comfort.
This was the first night in years he didn’t wake up from a night terror, nor did he have any sort of discomfort. Not even one. All he had was pure happiness, and it was all coming from the person his heart is aching for right beside him. You are the most beautiful thing to him. His angel that he wants to be with for the rest of his life. Your soft snores tickle his chest as your breath is hot. You twitch in your sleep, clearly dreaming of something entertaining to you. You are—
“James…” You whisper snapping Bucky from his thoughts of you. His face lights up hearing his first name slip from your tongue. He doesn’t like his first name, only making people he dislikes or don’t know to call him that, but for some reason, you calling him James makes his heart flutter. Seeing your glossy doe eyes stare back up to him. He can see little bits of sleep you haven’t rubbed out of your eyes yet.
“Morning Darling.” He gives you a soft smile. You nuzzled into his chest, trying to get closer to him, even if that is physically possible you don’t know. Taking in his scent you smile, finally happy.
“Morning Handsome.” You say in a cheeky tone. He chuckles at the nickname, rolling onto his back, keeping his hold on you, making your top half fall on top of him. You lift your head seeing him with a smile.
“Does coffee sound nice?” He growls out, his voice still gravelly from last night. You nod, moving off him slowly. A burning pain suddenly erupts in your lower half, hissing slightly at the pain. Bucky quickly notices, rubbing his thumb over your sore thighs while leaning on his arm.
“Sorry doll, it always hurts the morning after… I must have been a bit too rough.” He says with a little gilt in his words. You just kick them away, kissing his lips softly, saying you’re okay and it’s not too sore.
“Have a shower, put some comfy clothes on. We have the day off. I’ll go get the coffee and we can sit in your lounge, okay?” He gives you a gummy smile. You just laugh lightly at his expression, waddling over to him with your sore legs, gliding your hands up his slightly hairy chest.
“Or you can join me in the shower, and we can go get coffee together afterwards.” You let out a smile with your cheeky request. Bucky swears his heart jumped at the moment and all the blood from his brain went down south within seconds. Picking you up quickly, he almost runs to the connected bathroom to your room, wanting nothing more than to get under the hot water as soon as possible.
“Moring Caps, how are you.” Wanda and vision enter the main kitchen, seeing Sam and Steve sitting at the island bench having their morning coffee. Nat walks in soon after grabbing herself a cup also, taking a seat next to Sam. While they all chatter, Sam decides to make a sly remark.
“So Mr, Soldier boy still missing.” He jokes.
“He didn’t go to his room last night that’s for sure. I went to check on him this morning to see if he wanted to go on a morning run, but his bed was not slept in.” Steve tilted his head slightly taking a sip of his coffee.
“I wonder where he could be?” Vision spoke, rubbing his hand along Wanda’s back lovingly.
-
“J-James…” His kisses trail down your wet skin, as his fingers circle around your sensitive bud. You grip tight on his wet hair, feeling hot from the man in front of you and the hot stream pours from the showerhead.
-
“Maybe he had too much of Thor’s Asgardian alcohol and got drunk so he passed out somewhere?” Nat questions, not thinking that was too far of a stretch.
“Maybe he just got drunk off something else?” Sam wiggles his brows.
-
Bucky holds you tightly against the wet tiled wall, both of his hands squeezing hold rest on the underside of your thighs as he eases into you with a slow thrust. You choke out a breathless moan, nails digging into his back as you kiss him roughly. His thrusts are low and deep, hitting you harder than last night, wanting nothing but the deepest pleasure.
“That’s it darling, you take me so well. My best girl.” He darkly chuckles. His deep thrusts getting faster and hard to an almost inhuman speed.
-
“He’s probably still sleeping. Here let’s solve your mystery hmm?” Wanda chuckles, clicking the button in the centre of the table, bringing up the A.I Friday.
“Hey Friday, can you please tell us where Bucky is right now?”
“Mr Barnes Is taking a shower.”
“See he’s fine—He is located in on the east wing. He is also accompanied by Ms Y/n.” Wanda’s words were cut off by the A.I making Steve spit out some of his coffee.
“Damn Bucky going back for seconds ha, respect soldier boy.” Tony laughs as he enters the kitchen overhearing some of the conversations.
“Gross Stark.” Steve coughs, still choking on his coffee.
“Oh just because you are 100 years old doesn’t mean you should act like it blondie.” Tony scoffs out a chuckle, pouring himself a drink. They all end up talking, questioning how you two seem to become so close so quickly, wanting nothing more but for the two of you to hurry up and join them in the kitchen so they can ask all their gossipy questions.
