James Barnes (Bucky) is your new flatmate and so far living together has not gone very well.
2K.
Warnings:Not a smut,kinda soft but with a little bit of spicy. (Eng not my first language.)
You hadn’t even been living together for two months and you already couldn’t stand that asshole named James Buchanan Barnes. The cost of living in New York was exorbitant and when your flatmate left you alone without a previous notice you had no choice but to accept the first stranger who answered your ad, well the first one who didn’t look like a serial killer or a pervert. How wrong you were… Sleeping at night had become impossible, when James didn’t bring a girl, he spent the nights tossing and turning in his room. That man didn’t know what rest meant. If things went on like that, your bosses were going to throw you out of work, nobody wanted a zombie for an employee.
You needed a way to bring the matter up and make it clear to your flatmate that he had to learn to be less noisy. But how could you look him in the face and tell him that his hoarse moans were keeping you awake at night?
Well ,that morning was going to be the definitive one, during breakfast you would tell him. The night before the blue-eyed man hadn’t brought any friend with him, so you wouldn’t have to face a naked stranger, just a freshly risen James, with tousled hair, no shirt, and grey sweatpants that left little to the imagination. Shit, if you hated him so much for depriving you of a good night’s rest, why did you bite your lip until it almost bled when you were in the same room?
“Good morning,” his deep morning voice caught you off guard, making you almost choke with your coffee when he showed up in the kitchen.
“Morning” was the only thing you could mumble, all the determination you had gathered a few minutes before, disappeared in the presence of that man. “I was about to make pancakes, do you want some?” you managed to pull yourself together, your main idea was to soften him up with some treat and then drop the bomb.
“Sure” he accepted, a little suspicious. The fake smile on your face did not go unnoticed. Normally the only thing he got out of you in the mornings was a grunt or two.
You turned your back to him to focus on making breakfast, you just hoped you didn’t burn anything, you knew your kindness hadn’t gone unnoticed and James was analysing you from head to toe, making your stomach tingle from that intense stare.
You devoured the pancakes in complete silence. In the short time you had lived together you hadn’t found anything in common, so apart from things to do with the rent or the bills, you had nothing to talk about. But Barnes didn’t seem to mind, he was too captivated by the way you were sucking on the honey-coated fork, although it didn’t escape his notice that you wanted to tell him something, even he could hear the gears in your head turning.
“Just say it.” he grunted as your tongue went from playing with the fork to your lips, that game was starting to cause him problems in his sweatpants, and it wasn’t easy trying to hide his half-erection.
“Eh?” your innocent expression made him even more upset.
“If you have something to say to me, say it now, I don’t have all morning,” he sounded more abrupt than he meant it to, but that only made all your pent-up rage of those days come out of your mouth, unfiltered.
“All right, that’s what you want… how about you keep your fucking voice down when you bring someone to the flat or better yet, why don’t you join one of those sex addiction groups? Because you’ve got a fucking problem and I’m not going to put up with any more sleepless nights,” you blurted out without thinking, your eyes fixed on the blue ones that seemed to open wider and wider with every word that came out of your mouth.
Barnes’ astonished face turned into a grin of amusement as he recovered from your speech, “Ohh, honey, I think you’re overreacting. You’re not jealous that I’m the only one having fun at night, are you?” he took you by your chin, caressing your jawline.
“How dare you?” you slapped him away and you were really close to punch him in his pretty face but you restrained yourself. Revenge sounded better. If he wanted to go the hard way that’s how it would be, you were going to give him a taste of his own medicine.
***
You had been chatting with a guy for a few weeks, he was cute but just not interesting enough to want to get to know him more. He had insisted a couple of times to meet and you finally found the reasons to do so. That idiot James was going to have to eat his words. Who did he think he was? The worst thing is that you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Barnes all day. You only wanted to get revenge, right? It had nothing to do with the fact that that caress had left you longing for something you couldn’t yet put into words, but your imagination had, and it had given you a very clear picture of what it would be like to have James on top of you. Fuck! You just wanted to forget about it, and focus on your revenge. The date was set up, you and that guy were to meet at a bar near your house, just a little warm up before taking him with you and show Bucky how things worked.
A few hours later you were playing with your Martini. That man was really boring; he only knew to talk about him and his exes. He was so absorbed in himself that he didn’t care if you were listening or not and you only could think about running away, but you had already gone too far… With a coy smile you touched his arm and batting your lashes you tried to get his attention. "I know a better place to talk.” you said almost without recognizing your own voice. “My flat is very close… What do you say?” you made yourself sick. Why is it that deep down all felt so wrong?
By the time you got to your flat you were shaking in your boots, you were regretting your wonderful idea, but your stubbornness prevented you from letting James get away with it. As soon as you turned the key the last thing you expected to find was your enemy waiting for you to return, or that was the impression you got when your gazes met, Barnes had got up from the sofa and seemed to want to say something to you, but it was enough for the dark-haired man to see your companion for that feeling to disappear. “Who is this guy?” James asked with his worst manners.
“Oh, Hi, I didn’t know you’d be home” you lied through your teeth. “We don’t want to disturb you, my friend and I will be in my room.” you tried to sound as innocent as possible. It’s fair to say that you had completely forgotten the guy’s name.
“Y/n can I talk to you for a moment?” James approached you, blocking your way to your room, but you didn’t have time to dodge him because all you could think about was how good he smelled. Someone had taken a shower and his cologne was knocking out all your common sense. It was lavender and mint, right? At that point the other guy seemed to have ceased to exist.
“We can talk later.” you managed to articulate as you came to your senses.
“Don’t do this…” he stopped you by grabbing your wrist but not forcibly, just to stop you from running off with that loser. His voice sounded almost the same as always, but if you hadn’t been so nervous you would have noticed that his eyes were tinged with desperation.
“Okay, okay, what’s going on here?” That big mouth remembered how to talk. The weird vibes you two were giving was too much to handle for his small brain. James stepped away from you and you froze, not knowing what to say. “Is this some weird thing like couples who like to see each other with someone else?” he added, leaving you dumbfounded. Before you could react, your flatmate did.
“Get out of my fucking house!” he imposed, bringing out for the first time the soldier he once was. One of the few things you knew about him was that he was a veteran, but that was something he never used to talk about. His dog tags hanging around his neck gave you an idea.
Then, it all happened so fast that it seemed unreal. Barnes was shoving your date out and he was being more dick than ever. After slamming the door shut, James cornered you against it. “What the fuck was that all about?” he questioned, blocking your escape with his muscular arms. He was pissed off, you could tell by the swollen vein on his forehead and how his breath had become heavier.
“I just wanted to have some fun…” you managed to articulate with your eyes locked on the ground as you were unable to look him in the face, too embarrassed by everything that had just happened. “Besides, I don’t owe you any explanation.” you dared to add.
“So you want to have fun, right?” he seemed to snap, “I can fix that.” his voice lowered a few tones and your whole body shivered when he made you look at him. “You only have to ask nicely…” his gaze looked wolfish and hungry. If he needed a reaction from you to keep going, the way you were biting your lips was enough, but at that point he wanted to make you beg.
“Why should I?” you arched your brows with all the strength you had left. He was driving you crazy, but in a completely different way than before, however you didn’t want to give up so easily. Barnes stroked your arm, barely touching you, but immediately causing goose bumps all over your skin.
“Because that’s all you can think about since this morning.” he saw right through you, but it didn’t save him from being a jerk. That was enough… You were tired of him playing with you.
“Fuck you!” you pushed him with all your might, but before you could get away, he lifted you over his shoulder and carried you to his room. On the way you kicked as much as you could, but it was like hitting a wall. He left you on the edge of his bed, and crouched down in front of you with his hands up, wanting you to know that he was coming in peace. “I know I owe you an apology.“ he looked genuinely sorry, “This morning I behaved like a dick.”.
“Only this morning?” you mumbled, avoiding his gaze because you knew you would be unable to resist his puppy eyes. James sat down next to you and let out a low snort.
"I know I haven’t been the best flatmate.” Then he plopped down on the bed and his gaze was lost somewhere on the ceiling. “I have no excuse, but this is the first time I’ve lived with anyone after leaving the army.” he confessed and it felt like that was the first time you had a real conversation. “I guess I’ve lost my manners.”
You dropped down next to him, mirroring him. “Your manners aren’t the problem, you just need to stop moaning so loudly,” you chuckled to yourself and rolled onto your side to make yourself more comfortable, finding yourself face to face with James. You felt your cheeks flush, you had never seen Barnes like that before, without that armour that seemed to accompany him everywhere he went. “I’ll try my best.” he laughed with you.
You let silence fall between both of you and just stared at each other. Without really knowing how, the distance between you was getting shorter, your eyes kept going back and forth from James’ eyes to his lips, he seemed to notice and with a soft grin in his face he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear.
➳a/n:this chapter just makes me squeal. WE ALSO FIND OUT THE TWINS NAMES. i gave them so much thought, and i felt like the two i chose were utterly sweet . enjoy! :) also domestic Bucky is my favorite Bucky.
➳summary: When you experience the most intense night of the summer alongside Bucky, who you nickname Steel Blue, you weren’t expecting to fall pregnant. When a positive pregnancy test meets your eyes a few days before school starts, you know it belongs to the man who you’d never see again. Until you walk into your Romanian Linguistics class and he’s your professor.
➳pairing: Professor!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader
➳warnings:unprotected sex, unplanned pregnancy, slight age-gap, smut throughout book, angst
➳ dedicated to my beautiful best friend pitifulbaby
As the month continued to pass by, you were now settled into October.Midterms were up, you were slowly preparing for the babies’ arrival in February, Millie was helping you with nursery themes, and somehow Bucky and Nikki became best friends despite being polar opposites of each other.
➳a/n:this chapter just makes me squeal. WE ALSO FIND OUT THE TWINS NAMES. i gave them so much thought, and i felt like the two i chose were utterly sweet . enjoy! :) also domestic Bucky is my favorite Bucky.
➳summary: When you experience the most intense night of the summer alongside Bucky, who you nickname Steel Blue, you weren’t expecting to fall pregnant. When a positive pregnancy test meets your eyes a few days before school starts, you know it belongs to the man who you’d never see again. Until you walk into your Romanian Linguistics class and he’s your professor.
➳pairing: Professor!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader
➳warnings:unprotected sex, unplanned pregnancy, slight age-gap, smut throughout book, angst
➳ dedicated to my beautiful best friend pitifulbaby
As the month continued to pass by, you were now settled into October.Midterms were up, you were slowly preparing for the babies’ arrival in February, Millie was helping you with nursery themes, and somehow Bucky and Nikki became best friends despite being polar opposites of each other.
➳a/n:this chapter just makes me squeal. WE ALSO FIND OUT THE TWINS NAMES. i gave them so much thought, and i felt like the two i chose were utterly sweet . enjoy! :) also domestic Bucky is my favorite Bucky.
➳summary: When you experience the most intense night of the summer alongside Bucky, who you nickname Steel Blue, you weren’t expecting to fall pregnant. When a positive pregnancy test meets your eyes a few days before school starts, you know it belongs to the man who you’d never see again. Until you walk into your Romanian Linguistics class and he’s your professor.
➳pairing: Professor!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader
➳warnings:unprotected sex, unplanned pregnancy, slight age-gap, smut throughout book, angst
➳ dedicated to my beautiful best friend pitifulbaby
As the month continued to pass by, you were now settled into October.Midterms were up, you were slowly preparing for the babies’ arrival in February, Millie was helping you with nursery themes, and somehow Bucky and Nikki became best friends despite being polar opposites of each other.
Opting for baggier clothes to at least try and seclude your growing bump, it was getting harder. Students were beginning to stop and stare, Bucky consciously paying attention to the room’s shifting. He would give you gentle gazes and darling smiles to help push you through to the end of each lecture before he’d finally wrap his arms around you when the classroom had emptied.
“Alright, remember! Our midterm is on Wednesday.As long as you answer the questions in the study guide and practice, all of you will be fine. Don’t hesitate to ask any questions, either. I’m here to watch you succeed.”Bucky informed the students as everyone began to pack up their belongings.
Once the room had cleared except for Millie who was checking her phone, she turned her eyes over to you. “Nikki’s waiting for me out front. Have fun house-searching!” She exclaimed. She lowered her head to press a quick kiss to your belly before hitting Bucky on the arm and leaving.
He greeted you with a wide grin, those gorgeous steel-blue eyes casting into yours. “Come here, mama,” He said, walking forward to wrap his hands through yours. You erupted into a quiet giggle as Bucky pulled you close, your bump pressing to his well-defined abdomen. He sighed, reaching his hands forward to wrap around your stomach.
“Not going to lie, I miss being able to hold you close,” He chuckled, making you smile.
“Well,your children are wreaking havoc in the womb right now. I swear one of them is bouncing on my bladder,” You sighed heavily. “And hey! We can still touch… I’m not that big yet.” You growled, earning Bucky to smile, and leaned forward to peck your lips.
“I know, I know… I’m just teasing. Are you ready to go look at these houses? The realtor just texted me.” He questioned.
Your heart flooded with warmth. “I can’t believe this… We’re actually getting our own house together.” You breathed out, gently biting at the skin on your lip. Bucky hugged you as close as he could.
“It’s surreal, I know… But I can’t wait to start this journey with you.” He whispered, kissing your ear. “And just think… Whatever house we do decide on? I’ll get to have sex with you in every single room, just to break it in and really make it ours.”
“Bucky!” You exclaimed, swatting his shoulder. “It only took one night in a hotel to make this happen… Be careful.” You reminded him, eyes narrowed.
Bucky beamed with another laugh before grabbing his keys off the desk and leading you out of the classroom. As you two walked down the halls and hopped on the elevator to take you to the bottom floor, you leaned your head on his shoulder. Life had become so much different since Sharon disappeared.
The last you saw of her, she was being handcuffed and thrown into the back of a cop car while Millie was essentially let off the hook for beating Sharon to a bloody pulp with a baseball bat. Your and Bucky’s relationship only seemed to strengthen and it gave you both ample time to focus on one another plus the idea that you would be parents sooner rather than later.
The car ride to the first house was filled with you and Bucky exchanging words back and forth about what you were both looking for in homes; family homes. When you arrived to the first listing, your eyes widened. It was beautiful.A two story brick home with a fenced in backyard. Flowers dotted the outside area with a well-manicured lawn, bringing you to gasp.
“Wow, this is stunning,”Bucky admitted with a smile, wrapping his hand through yours. The two of you exited the car and were greeted by the realtor, a friendly woman by the name of Denise. She grinned at the two of you, a folder in hand with some of the property’s biggest hits.
“Bucky, Y/N! What a pleasure to see you both,” Denise grinned as she shook both your hands before her eyes settled on your swollen belly. “Wow, I think you’ve grown since I saw you last week!” She exclaimed, bringing you to smile sheepishly.
As she led you inside, your eyes were captivated by the large front entryway. It was decked with cherrywood floors and the space was huge.
“This home is four bedrooms and two baths… It also has a fenced-in swimming pool in the back. Bucky, since you’re a professor, there is also an in-home office for you.” She explained. You could hardly listen, your excitement was bubbling when you walked into the spacious kitchen that looked out into the living room. The bar was set up with a huge chandelier hanging overhead, the countertops were a fine marble. The color scheme was simplistic, but with pops of color being introduced on the cabinet doors. There was a huge pantry with a sliding barndoor that you were obsessed with, Bucky quickly noticing how you gravitated.
Bucky fell in love with the in-home office. He could already see himself settling in and getting classwork done or maybe he visualized you seated on his lap for a round of fun while he sent his stressors away. He could envision house parties here with Steve, Sam, Millie, and Nikki. He saw the potential in the home and already, this was both of your favorites on the list.
The bedrooms were huge, with a grand master easily decided to be your and Bucky’s if you opted for this home. The bathroom seemed even bigger with a tub big enough to fix three. His and hers vanities were colored in a dark grey paint with marble countertops that had flicks of silver.
Another room was seen, this one quickly being envisioned to be the twins’ nursery. You could already see you and Bucky painting the walls different colors and theming it to whatever you had come up with. Tears welled in your eyes as you passed throughout the other areas until you were finally taken onto the balcony that was attached to the master bedroom. Large french doors opened up to a well-manicured backyard with a swimming pool in the very center that was fenced around with a slide attached.
“I can already see myself having coffee out here every morning,” You whispered, hanging onto the railing of the balcony. Bucky smiled, leaning forward to kiss your cheek as he wrapped an arm around you. Denise had left the two of you alone to explore the home for yourselves after she listed the other pros such as the best school in the district wasn’t but two miles away. Recreational activities for the kids were on every corner, along with it being in close proximity to the college for Bucky.
“Doll, I’m already in love with it, and this was only the first house.” Bucky laughed, kissing your neck as he wrapped his arms around your waist. He rested his two large palms on your belly and gave it a subtle stroke, feeling light taps of feet kicking against his hands. “And I think the twins agree.” He added with a gentle, heartfelt smile.
Giggling quietly, you couldn’t believe this was happening.
“Let’s check out the pool then head to the next one?” You suggested, Bucky agreeing. When you made it down to the backyard and you saw how large it was upon stepping out of the two french doors leading toward it, you had to cover your mouth to withhold the threatening gasps. Denise already knew that sound meant you were hooked.
“Should I even show you two the other three homes?” She laughed, bringing you and Bucky to share a look.
“I think it’s a good idea, yeah,” Bucky answered. “Just so we know.Right, Doll?”
“LOOK AT THE SWING! THEY HAVE A BACKYARD SWING!” You exclaimed from somewhere out in the open. Bucky’s eyes lifted when he saw you seated on the wooden swing, kicking your legs back and forth as you giggled like a teenager. Bucky broke out into a wide grin.
When Denise showed you two the other three homes, immediately none of them compared to the one with the pool and in-home office. As the day drew to a close, Denise was already preparing an offer on the first home.
“Decision has been made? The two-story home on Carter Avenue?” She asked for clarification. You and Bucky held each other’s hand, both of you grinning from ear to ear.
“That’s the one,” You smiled, already seeing yourself in the future. You envisioned the pitter-patter of toddler feet racing down the halls while you and Bucky chased in behind them, until they would turn into elementary, then middle, even high school teenagers. It swelled your heart and made your world spin quickly, causing you to leane further into Bucky for support.
“Alright, let’s get an offer together and I’ll send it over to the owners.” She smiled in satisfaction.
As you both left with your hopes lifted that this very house would be yours soon, Bucky and you sat in the car for a few moments of sweet silence. You both looked up at the home, your smile erupting.
“I can’t believe this… We’re actually looking to buy a house together.” You expressed with a bright smile. Bucky laughed, reaching a hand over to wrap it around your thigh.
“I know… I can’t wait to do this with you,” He said, his eyes casting into yours. You slowly turned your head to face him, not helping but to lean over the best you could in order to give him a kiss.
You felt a few more kicks swell in your belly, making you gasp. They were much harder than before and you giggled, hurrying to grab Bucky’s hand. You rested it on your side and his eyes widened as he felt them for himself.
“You guys are excited too, aren’t you?” Bucky asked in a sweet voice.
Soon, the two of you were back at Bucky’s shared home with Steve and Sam. The two had gone out for the night while Millie opted to spend the night at Nikki’s, giving you and Bucky some privacy… And that meant the two of you were sprawled out in bed together, binge-watching a series while Bucky graded last-minute papers.
Once he wrapped up and joined you for cuddles, you licked your lips. “Bucky, what are we going to name them?” You asked.
“I thought they’re being named Razzle and Dazzle Barnes?” He laughed, referencing Millie. You slapped his shoulder playfully, rolling your eyes as you tossed back a chip.
“I’m being serious!” You smiled. “I’m due Febuary 25th, but honestly, twins normally don’t make it to 40 weeks… And even though it seems like we have time - we really don’t. I’d like to start calling them by their name… Even if they don’t understand it yet.” You laughed.
Bucky nodded his head in agreement. “What were you thinking? Twins usually have rhyming names or the same letter.”
You bit down on your lip. “But do we really want to go traditional?”You asked.
Bucky shok his head. “No, these kids are different from others. So, they deserve two different names… How about we compromise. You name one baby, I’ll name the other?” He suggested.
You smiled excitedly. “You name the girl, I’ll name the boy?” You raised your eyebrows.
Bucky wrapped his arm around you. “I was hoping you’d let me name her… Because I already had a name in mind.”
Your eyes widened. “Really? Because I already have a boy’s name in mind…”
Bucky moved to sit up, taking this moment seriously. “You go first.” He ushered.
He helped you to sit up. You swallowed the lump that threatened to form. You had the name picked out since you were younger and you hoped Bucky would appreciate it. The first name was easy, and now that you knew Bucky, you wanted to honor him.
“Lucas Buchanan,” You answered. “And we can call him Luke for short.”
Bucky’s eyes widened. “You… You want to give him my middle name?” He asked, his eyes suddenly blurring. You nodded and that’s when you felt him pull you into his lap, his arms wrapping around you.
“Lucas Buchanan Barnes… I love that,” He laughed, kissing you passionately. You smiled widely, thankful and relieved that he approved.
“Alright! Tell me what you have for a girl,” You grinned excitedly.
Bucky smiled. “I’ve given it a lot of thought.. I have a feeling you’ll certainly be up for it, but I was just thinking of how one person in our lives has helped us so much. After all… I wouldn’t have found out you were pregnant without her telling me…”
Your eyes started to widen.
Bucky inhaled.
“I want to name our daughter after the best…Eliza Millie,”He announced
“Bucky,”You gasped, covering your mouth. It was your turn for tears to well up. He held you closer, his lips pressing against yours as you held his cheeks.
“Luke and Eliza,” You whispered. “I think they’re perfect.”
Bucky grinned. “Just like the woman carrying them,” He winked, making your cheeks heat up.
Before you realized it, the two of you found yourselves tucked away beneath the sheets, your hands roaming across one another freely. You were basking in the glow of Bucky,never having been more thankful for somebody in your life. Everything was beginning to make sense now.
Matt Murdock x Mutant!Reader, Bucky x Mutant!Reader Part 5
A/N: Part 5 is here my lovelies! I hope you all enjoy! As always, feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated and let me know if you would like to be added to the tag list. Have a lovely day! ✨✨✨
Summary: Imagine being the daughter of Wolverine and an FBI agent. You used to be a part of Bucky’s past. A distant part of his past that he had forgotten over time, until one day, he sees your face shadowed behind the public eye, like an apparition, almost as if you didn’t exist. Confused over your existence and questioning whether what he saw was real, broken memories of you come flooding back to him, and Bucky finds himself scrambling to search for clues that would lead to who you are and why he feels as if he had seen you before. You on the other hand had moved on, starting a new life for yourself and even finding yourself working with a certain lawyer. After the horrors you faced, you wanted to leave your past behind you, eventually forgetting mostly everything that ever happened. That is until the former Winter Soldier brings those memories all back.
Warnings: language, angst, blood and violence. Trigger warning, this chapter involves descriptions of a crime scene: homicide and sexual assault against a minor, so please do not read this if you feel this may affect you. I will also input trigger warnings around the areas that this theme is mentioned.
You pulled up to the sight of the crime scene you were just called into after working on some files at the office during the morning, parking your car on the side of the road that led to a local hiking trail as the lights of the cop cars danced across your face in patterns of reds and blues. You remained in your seat for a moment, your knuckles turning white from gripping your wheel as you stared off into the distance, drowning out the sound of the police radios with deep and steady breaths as you tried to prepare yourself for what you might come across. You usually liked to keep yourself preoccupied, whether it was your work or other simple things like reading a book, it helped to distract you from whatever it was you needed to take your mind off of. But now that you didn’t have your head buried in files and reports, your thoughts began to drift off to what had happened earlier. Various speculations ran through your head as you tried to analyze the things Matt had said to you and why he had even done so in the first place. Perhaps you were overthinking it. Sure, Karen was an extremely attractive woman, and you found yourself feeling silly for even thinking of the idea as if Matt knew what she looked like. But it wasn’t so much that, it was the way she looked at him that made you doubt everything he told you. Maybe the things he said were just a ploy, one of his lawyer tactics to get you to get over the anger you had for him so that you would end up helping with his case. If there was one thing he was good at, it was his way with words. Matt almost always knew what to say and he could be persuasive at times. And if there was one thing you were good at, it was knowing whether he was being honest or just being full of bullshit. If only you could have deciphered which one if it weren’t for your emotions getting in the way.
Turning off your engine, you stepped out of your car, squinting your eyes against the glare of the sun and searching the faces of the officers nearby. After throwing on your sunglasses you spotted the familiar head of dark brown curls sticking out from behind a Buick. Upon spotting you, your partner Pedro who was leaning against his car, waved you over. “Gomez.” You walked over to him, giving him a short and polite smile.
“Afternoon y/l/n. You feeling better?”
“Yeah. So what have we got here?”
“They found a dead body about a mile off the trail.” Pedro told you before walking alongside you to the destination.
“Any witnesses?” You brought up, your eyes focused on the dirt and pieces of mud that started to coat the tops of your boots while keeping a lookout for anything that could be a piece of evidence as you trudged deeper into the thicket of trees.
“A park ranger. Said he heard something between the trees and went to check it out and that’s when he found the body.”
“And the suspect?”
“Fled the scene before anyone arrived.”
“Any identification of a vehicle?”
“As of yet, no.”
“What about the media? They haven’t heard about this yet have they?”
“No. I have a few officers stationed outside in specific areas to block off all possible access to the scene.
"Good. Not a word of this to the press. Not until we know what’s going on.”
“Got it.”
Some time had passed, though not much. The sun was still high in the sky, its rays shrouded by the dense leaves and branches of the trees that covered the grounds. The smell of pine, damp soil from the moisture left over by the morning fog, and the smell of sap leaking from the cracks of trunks filled the air as Pedro and you hiked off the trail and ventured deeper into the woods, following the two officers in front of you. When you began to approach the area of concern, there in the distance your ears picked up on the sound of people moving about, paired with the soft chatter of voices as they discussed important issues with each other that seemed to blend with the preferred quietness of some. You noticed how some of them were unsettled, their muscles stiff as they carried out their duties while the rest carried an air of composure and focus resulted by the years spent working in the field. The familiar dark blue uniforms of the police and the black windbreakers with the printed word “Forensics” in white block letters were seen moving about the area inside the yellow tape that went around the perimeter.
“Here we are.” Pedro commented as the two of you ducked under the tape while making sure to be extra cautious where you stepped. “Hey, before you go any further,” Pedro stopped you, his eyes searching the ground as he tried to find the right words to say. “this…..this one is different. It might…….upset you.”
***Trigger Warning Beginning***
You gave Pedro a puzzled look, searching the clouded look in the dark chestnut depths of his irises that were shadowed beneath his brows that were currently knitted together. Being mindful of his words, you turned your head in the direction on your left where the trees had formed a clearing, the sun shining some light onto the patch where most of the others were gathered. You had caught note of the faint smell while you were still a distance away, a smell that you could never get used to, the sharp and stinging smell of rot that burned the inside of your nose and made you want to hurl. You knew there would be a dead body before you even arrived at the scene. Having knowledge that a location had a dead body was one thing, seeing it was another. The thing when expecting corpses was that you never knew just what to expect.
Just a few feet away, towards the center, a few personnel of the forensics team were crouched near the ground with their cameras, their flashes going off in clicks and sparks of white as they snapped multiple shots involving different angles of the body that was there. It seemed as if time had slowed down as you moved closer to investigate, your feet were heavy, like someone had tied weights to them using iron chains that burned against the flesh on your ankles. You could feel the eyes of those around you, hear the heartbeats of the members of the crime scene unit as they took a quick look at your stone like face before stepping aside as you passed. You nearly gasped at the sight, feeling your heart stop in your chest and fall to your stomach as your eyes bore into the lifeless face of the girl that lied there, a child.
“My god.” You breathed out with a clenched jaw, the ends of your lips turned downwards as you struggled to get ahold of the image. The girl, of age 14 or 15, lied there unsettlingly amongst the patch of grass, her skin ghostly white and the curls of her blonde hair splayed out behind her. It looked almost as if she were sleeping, and the somewhat peaceful image that was displayed haunted you to the core because of the monstrosity that lurked behind it. She was placed on her back with her hands folded neatly above her stomach, holding a single lily between her thin fingers. She was dressed in this white georgette dress that stopped a bit above her knees, the white fabric hinting just the faintest shade of pink while flowers adorned her hair, an assortment of lilacs and daisies. One would think that after working in this field after a certain amount of time, you’d get used to seeing stuff like this. But no, it never got easier. If anything, you just didn’t vomit like you did the first time you saw one.
“There’s speculation this one might be tied to the other 3 girls that were found.” Pedro crossed his arms over his chest as he watched you get a closer look.
“The other three? You mean the other 3 girls that were found in rivers in Massachusetts and Rhode Island? I read the files.”
“What can you make of it?” Pedro asked as he pulled out a notepad and pen from his pocket, the tip of the pen hovering over the paper as he waited for your observations.
“The murder victim is female, age 14 or 15.” You stated, pulling up the fabric of your pants before crouching down to your knees while slipping on a clean pair of gloves, the dry texture of the latex sticking against your skin as you pulled it over your wrists. “This one is fresh, killed not too long ago unlike the others that were in the later stages of decomposition. I’d say the time of death was……7 hours and 16 minutes ago. There’s….some bruising on her wrists that look like rope marks, silk.”
“Silk?” Pedro quirked a brow. “How can you tell?”
“The imprint of fibers.” You pointed to her wrists.
“What else?”
“He had her locked up, tied her up to make sure she wouldn’t escape. But he didn’t starve her, no, she was well fed. It looks like the suspect put some makeup on her. Not a lot, just some blush on her cheeks and some lipstick. Her nails are clean. She was……..groomed well, there’s hardly any traces of dirt on her. She has………..” You gulped, your nails digging into your palms as you pressed the back of your knuckles against your mouth.
“What is it?”
“There’s uh, bruising………near her inner thighs and uh……….signs of sexual assault.” Your voice came out in a broken whisper. “…………Have the forensics found any traces of semen?”
“None.”
“He made sure to wash her up. Fucking bastard piece of shit.”
“Hey.” You felt Pedro’s hand on the back of your shoulder. “You okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. Can we please move further?”
“……….What do you call the cause of death?”
“There’s no severe signs of strangulation or physical trauma.” You sniffed over her body with twisted lips, using your senses to pick up on any certain smells that could be a clue before recoiling from the acidic scent that burned through your nostrils, making you cough as a result. “Nightshade poisoning from ingestion. Hang on………..she’s wearing perfume.”
“Perfume? Any idea what brand?”
“………..Eleganter Schwan 06.”
“Say what?”
“Wait…….there’s more.” You stopped him, closing your eyes and breathing in the air. “There’s……leftover traces of cologne…………Clive Christian’s Original Collection.”
“You think the suspect was wearing it?”
“Positive.”
“How did you know what brands they are?” Pedro looked intently in surprise at the side of your face, watching the way your eyes darted around as you started to put everything together.
“I was studying abroad in France the summer of my sophomore year in uni and the place I was staying at was right next to a perfume shop. I used to have this little routine where everyday after class I would stop by the shop and test out the little sample bottles, a new perfume each day until I found the one I liked.”
“Makes sense, so what’s your analysis?”
“The suspect is a male, early 40s. He’s careful, made sure to leave no witness or any pieces of evidence that could lead back to him. But this,” you pointed towards the girl. It’s like he wants to show off, like he wanted us to find her.”
“Why the hell would he want us to find her?”
“To show off. If he wanted to hide her he could’ve hid her or dumped her in the river like the rest but no. The bastard wanted to show off his twisted sense of sentiment, which explains the elaborateness. He’s also wealthy.”
“Wealthy? What makes you say that?”
“The perfume and the cologne. They’re priced at about half a thousand each. The dress is Armani which is close to a thousand dollars.”
“Jesus. Who the hell would spend so much on someone they’re about to kill?”
“Someone with a lot of money to spare.”
“What else can you make out?”
“Whoever did this……this man, sounds disgusting but I think he loved her.”
“People don’t exactly kill the ones they love.”
“Which is why he did all this, it’s……..his way of honoring her death.” You gestured to the flowers. “You see, he thought he loved her, most likely has a twisted idea of what love is. But no, this man was obsessed with her, obsessed with her innocence, which explains the color of her dress and the flowers, they represent innocence and purity. His obsession with her also explains why he fixed her up like this. See those faint markings on her throat?” You pointed to the barely noticeable purple markings that lined her throat. “He tried to strangle her, but didn’t have the heart to finish the job. He also could have stabbed her or shot her, but that would have ruined her….image, so he poisoned her. I have a feeling this was his first planned target. Probably saw her somewhere in public when she caught his eye, maybe walking home from school? But he didn’t want to get to her yet so he killed the other three to satisfy his impulses. He took care of her, in his own sick way. Made sure to use soft ropes that are somewhat gentle on the skin, fed her and dressed her, and adorned her with flowers as if she was some kind of taxidermy that needed to be prepped and displayed.”
***Trigger Warning Ends Here***
“That’s one hell of an analysis Special Agent y/l/n.” You heard someone behind you speak up.
“Sir.” You stood up, turning around to your boss, the special agent in charge of your unit, Jack Morgan. He was a tall, thin man of age 50 with scattered gray hairs that lined the ash blondes of his hair. A pair of clubmaster glasses sat on the hook of his nose, the bottom rims of the frame somehow disguising the dark circles that sat under his hollow eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there.”
“No worries.” He waved you off with a polite smile sitting on his thin lips. “Any clue that might lead to identifying the suspect?“
"Not yet sir.” You shook your head. “I’m working on it. But I feel close.”
"Well. We better get this bastard in handcuffs fast before he does it again.” Jack nodded with his hands in his pockets before walking off to speak to one of the deputies. “Let me know if you find anything y/l/n.”
“Of course sir. I’ll let you know.”
“So what now?” Pedro turned towards you as the two of you walked away for a moment.
“I’ll look into the surrounding buildings near the school she went to including the ones around her home, see if there is a possibility he lives in one of them, or at least visits them and etc. I’ll also check into the local perfume retailers, see which ones carry the brands I mentioned and get a list of who had bought them. We also need to keep a lookout on any gardens in the area. He mostly likely has a garden set up specially for his poisonous plants.”
“Sounds like a plan. I’ll see what I can find too.” Pedro nodded before noticing the distant look into your eyes. "You okay? I know this case mustn’t have been easy for you.”
“It’s just…..a lot to take in you know.” Your shoved your hands into your pockets as you kicked the dirt at your feet. Your voice had a slight tremble in it as a shiver ran through your body. You couldn’t tell if it was the cold breeze or the crime scene itself that wanted to make you curl into your blanket and hide. But, you were also beyond furious, disgusted, and even scared, scared of what this asshole of a man was capable of. You couldn’t even seem to get yourself to stay still. Your hands and legs were itching to throw on a pair of mma gloves and go to the nearest martial arts club and go full force on a punching bag, kicks and jabs and all, maybe even throw the damn thing though the wall. Better yet, you wanted to find the fucking bastard that did this, maybe even beat his face in a little, use him as your punching bag before locking him up. But more than anything you were furious with yourself, upset that you weren’t able to find out who this sick fuck was.
“You think you’re able to…..you know.” Pedro nodded towards the corpse of the girl. Him and your boss were the only other people, or non-mutants rather, that knew about your past and what you could do, after all, it was Charles who had recommended you to them. After you were pardoned, they needed to know just who was coming in to work for them.
“I don’t know.” You faltered. “I’ve done it before with living people, but this, this is different. I’m a telepath, not a necromancer.”
“She was killed recently.” He noted as he followed the doubtful look in your eye. “Maybe there’s a chance some remnants of her……energy or…soul is left.”
You stared into the face of the girl for some time, your lips pursed in thought at the paleness of her face that was probably once radiant and full of life, now cold and lifeless and never again given the chance to do the things that most children her age will be given the chance to experience. Everything was stolen from her. You couldn’t imagine what the parents must be going through, to hear that their little girl was lying dead somewhere due to the hands of some murderous bastard serial killer. “…………I can try. See if it works. I just………don’t know if I’m ready for what I might see.”
“You don’t have to if you don’t to.”
***Trigger Warning begins here***
“No. Whether I want to or not is not important. But this,” you pointed towards the girl. “This is important. I need to be up close though in order to see if I can pick up on something.” You walked back over to the girl’s body once the forensics team had left, crouching down on the ground where she lay while Pedro kept a lookout for you to make sure no one noticed. You breathed in a heavy sigh, taking a few reps of deep and heavy puffs of air to prepare yourself for whatever horrors you might face before closing your eyes and hovering your gloved hand over her head. Your mother had the gift of sight, just like you, and she too was able to read the thoughts of those around her. But the visions she received were different than yours, she was able to see ahead into the further, of events that have yet to come. You tried to hone in on the advice Charles had taught you. Being a telepath himself, he was able to help you with a few things in order to harness your power, like reaching out for something that had meaning, something that invoked a strong sense of emotion in you. So you followed his steps.
At first there was nothing, just the sounds that were present to the mortal ear; like the gentle breeze that whispered through the leaves of trees, the sound of footsteps against the patches of grass and dirt and mud, the chirping of birds perched in the branches of the trees around you, and the few uttering of voices discussing a mixture of the mundane and subjects related to the case. There was a certain stillness in the nature around you that one would have thought to be peaceful had they not seen the corpse that laid amongst the grass, and the feeling of it twisted your stomach in words you could not explain. It was too sunny for a day such as this.
With another deep breath, you started to zone out your surroundings, cutting out the voices and the sounds of nature until you could hear the sound of everyone’s heartbeats, and then finally their thoughts. In the beginning, it was chaos. You winced against the many voiceless words that belonged to the minds of those around you, each one thinking of something different than the other. Step by step, you cut them out, focusing instead on the mind of the lifeless body of the girl that laid in front of you. You struggled, straining to see anything, hear anything, but there was nothing, just emptiness. Yet you pushed on, desperate to find something. Your brows were knit together at the center of your forehead from your effort, the strain you were inflicting on yourself causing a vein to pop out at your temple.
And then there it was, faint, and hidden in the depths of something beyond the physical, like looking at a screen or a mirage far off in the distance. So you reached towards it, focused all your strength on that faraway image. And then it hit you like a bus. You were engulfed with screams, screams that belonged to the little girl that completely enveloped you and pierced your ears. It felt as if these invisible iron chains had wrapped around you, pulling you closer into the depths of her mind. And that is when the nature of your surroundings had vanished and you found yourself looking through her eyes. There was this room, but all you could see was the ceiling, a white tiled ceiling with designs molded into each panel and a chandelier hanging from the center. Your arms and legs were tied, constricting you of any moment on what felt like a bed beneath you. A dark shadow moved from the side of the room, and that’s when you saw him, a face of a man hovering over you, the angle of the light casting a shadow on his face that made him resemble a demon with a sickening smile that stretched from ear to ear.
***Trigger Warning ends here***
You awoke from the vision with a start, your heart pounding and your forehead beaded with sweat as you struggled to breath, choking on the air in your lungs. You felt a warm liquid run down from your nose, the taste of copper filling your lips as a sickening sensation suddenly overcame you.
“Y/n?” You heard Pedro’s voice, muffled against the ringing in your ears as if a loud explosion had damaged them. You struggled up to your feet, the world around you spinning as you swayed with each step. You heard his voice call out for you again, but all you could focus on was your vision becoming more blurry by the second with each step you took as you tried to exit the area. After pushing past the yellow tape, you held onto the tree next to you for support, the throbbing in your head getting more powerful by the second. With a cold ice-like sensation washing over you, you doubled over and vomited onto the dirt in front of you before collapsing to the ground, your vision becoming black as you lost all consciousness.
When you had awoken, you found Pedro crouched next to you, his eyes trained on your face as he pressed a cold washcloth against your forehead.
“Ugh….” You groaned, shifting your body to notice that Pedro had sat you up against the tree. “Did I pass out? And please tell me I didn’t fall on my puke.”
“You were unconscious for a good two minutes. And no, you didn’t fall on your puke. You okay?”
“I don’t know. I got dizzy all of a sudden.”
“……….You saw something didn’t you?” Pedro had stopped, lowering the washcloth down to his side as his eyes searched yours, both out of concern and out of curiosity.
You stared at him for a moment with a solemn expression, the pain you had experienced through the girl visible in your eyes. “……….She was in so much pain.” You choked out. You wanted to cry, to scream, anything to make all that you felt go away. But you couldn’t. You couldn’t so much as shed a tear or else you would risk being taken off the case for involving too much emotion.
“…………What about the suspect?”
You looked away for a moment, recounting the things you had seen. “I……I couldn’t see his face. The room was dark. She was in so much pain Pedro.” You lied. Lied about not having seen his face. You had seen every detail of that bastard’s face, and it was everything you needed. You knew what you had to do.
Pedro nodded his head in understanding before listening quietly at what you had told him about what the girl had been through, his jaw clenched in anger. He felt guilty for making you preform such a task, believing that he had endangered you in some way. “I shouldn’t have put you through that.”
“No Pedro, it’s fine. You didn’t do anything wrong. I agreed to do it. It was to help with the investigation, to help catch this sick bastard remember?”
“You should go home.” Pedro gave you a regretful smile. “Get some rest. You look like shit after that.”
“You’re telling me.” You gave him a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder before getting up with a grunt as he helped support you up.
“Need me to walk you back to your car?”
“Nah. I’m fine. Thank you though Pedro.” You went back to your car, giving Pedro a wave as you went while he watched you go with a look of worry written across his dark olive skin. Something was off about you, and he had a gut feeling that you had not told him the whole truth regarding the vision you had.
When you returned back to your parked car, you took out your keys and unlocked the door, opening it up to get into the driver’s seat until a small piece of paper caught your eye, falling down right beside your feet. You stared suspiciously down at the dark gray rectangular piece of cardstock that looked to be a business card, seeing no print or writing on the side that was currently facing up. “What in the?” You muttered out, taking a quick glance around before dropping down to pick it up. The card was thick and smooth, of a matte finish, and felt heavy in your hands as you brought it up to your face. Small ridges lined the surface as you ran your thumb across the texture. Something about this card seemed off, causing the world around you to feel cloudy as an unnatural feeling started to form in the pit of your stomach. With trembling hands, you turned the card around to see a five letter word hand written across in maroon ink. A name. Laura.
If Only I Could Get To You First (Bucky Barnes One Shot)
Summary: Bucky Barnes and you have been best-friends, but unknowing to the other you both are also in love with the other. Though everyone else seems to know.
Pairing: Modern!Bucky Barnes x Plus Size!Fem!Reader
Warnings: Modern AU, swearing, past domestic abuse (non descriptive), mutual pining, fake dating, confessions, best friends, angst, fluff, i just want to squish bucky into a hug, brock rumlow is a dick head, hurt/comfort, love confessions, crying, loving from afar
In the list of bad ideas your best friend compelled you into, only two ever worked out in your favour.
One was sneaking into your first high school party, you’d had your first kiss.
The second was when she pushed you onto the dance floor at the frat house’s halloween party and you bumped into the warlock.
“Woah, easy there.” He’d caught you with a charming grin and his blue eyes. Your lungs would not breathe till he would tell you too.
“Are you alright?” Those blue eyes to a once over, checking for any sign of injury.
“I’m—I’m so sorry, I lost my footing.” You look to the side to glare at your best friend but she is luckily not in your line of vision.
“Woah, doll, who is on the receiving end of that glare?” He wonders loudly over the music which somehow doesn’t bother you.
“My best friend pushed me.” You explain, sighing.
“We could work on a hex.” He offers, you let out a laugh, he’d interpreted your last minute outfit well enough, deep red turtle neck and skirt with a borrowed blonde wig.
“You’re the first person to know who am I.” You smile, he bows.
“The others are beneath our intellect. Do you want to move to the side?”
You nod, his hand finds yours and the night floats away.
“James Barnes, warlock for tonight. What is your name Sabrina Spellman?” He offers his name and then you give him yours.
Conversation flows on, in the little nook of the house.
Movies, TV Shows, a heavy argument about Professor Snape and Dumbledore and then academic choices.
Time went on numbers exchanged, as were memes.
Coffee tumblers refilled over hours every Wednesday.
Movie marathons, study dates, celebrating A pluses and even the occasional C minus.
Pranking his very unhygienic third roommate by placing cups of detergent all over his room and a few cups of water.
————————————————–
You had known his close friends called him Bucky, it was never defined across the months of your blooming friendship if you could call him that name.
Bucky wondered why you hadn’t yet, maybe you did not consider him as close as he presumed. He had no inclination to ask out of fear to ruin the friendship he found within you.
it changed one night, at three a.m. your phone vibrated near your head, you were still dressed in the day’s clothes. Work had been terrible, so you deserved a night off of regular activities.
Reaching for the angrily vibrating device your bleary vision widens, you pick up the call.
“James? Is everything okay?”
“Could I come over?” Is all he asked, sounding broken.
You answered with an instant yes, quickly changing into a jumper and a hoodie. waiting for him in the living room.
His knocks sounded hesitant, almost as if he were reconsidering his choices.
You’re greeted by a heartbreaking sight.
James Barnes, with his hair a tousled mess, eyes puffy and red. Your heart seizes with worry.
“Natalie and I broke it off. I well, Sam saw her out with Zemo. She did not even deny it. How could she do this to me, Firefly?” He even sounds broken, as your nickname falls from his lips.
He lets you pull him into your warm embrace, his arms wrapping around you, pulling your body close into his. He sighs deeply as he finds comfort.
The tears do brim anew, his shoulders shake.
“Bucky,” You hesitate, a hand stroking the back of his head. You guide him to the couch, retrieving your stash of ice cream and running back to him.
He gives a half hearted smile seeing the flavour, a shared favourite.
You give your own beaming grin of encouragement.
“Here is your mission choose you accept it.” You hand him a spoon. He chuckles slightly.
“To finish this entire pint of ice cream with me.”
The ice cream doesn’t stand a chance.
————————————————–
Bucky has good days and bad ones for three months after the break up, the timing awful between midterms and assignments but they served distraction.
To celebrate the end of the torturous examinations you both make your way around New York City. In search of 1 am pizza.
“How are you?” You know it is a question she could dodge but the way he seemed to carry himself slowly coming into his own had given you hope.
Bucky only stiffens for a moment at the question, progress you deem.
“Honestly I feel it was a good thing.” He takes a bite; the cheese pulls and he grins in approval. You take a picture of him as he makes a silly face, both laughing now.
“I might not date for a while but I know I will eventually.” He informs of the decision.
“That is good.” You pat his back, taking your own bite as he in turn takes a picture of you pulling a silly face.
Slowly your phone memory is filled with several outings with your now extended group of friends, and several more with Bucky. He returns back to himself after a few months more, after a few okay-ish dates and he finds himself seeking your company.
He grabs a bouquet of your favourite flowers, his legs need no guidance to the familiar path of your home. Bucky stands near the entrance as the doorman, Percy smiles at him with kind eyes.
“She’s gone out.” Percy tells him, therefore Bucky waits, leaning against the wall phone in his hand scrolling through the fresh batch of micro sized comedy he could send to you.
Familiar sounding laughter pulls him in, your bright face greets his view, then your fingers curl around an arm. He follows the touching limbs to see the face of Rumlow.
You seemed so radiant around the man. Bucky clutches the bouquet tighter as though in an attempt to ground himself or stop his heart from breaking before it could even be given to you.
Rumlow turns you before you can leave his embrace to go to your apartment. Your laughter carries through to Bucky. He watches, lips pressed into a thin line.
Rumlow pulls you close, whispering something your ear, you bite your lip nodding.
Bucky could hear his heart cracking over the noise around him, as your lips are upon that man’s own. He turns, walking away still clutching the bouquet.
Bucky Barnes and you — best friends through college. Maybe that shouldn’t change.
Bucky nods to himself, his feelings probably arose because of the time spent together and your friendship growing deeper. So he tucks this little crush upon you away, and decides that best friends is what you both are meant to be.
————————————————–
Seven months after graduation, Natasha nurses your busted lip. Vodka on the table is also for drinking she tells you. It soothes the ache from your broken heart and lip.
Your phone still unresponsive from the one person you need. How many texts does it take for a best friend to respond?
“I could call him.” Natasha offers as you shake your head.
“I, my texts should be enough, I left him calls as well.” You explain, “Could, could you ask Steve where is he?”
Natasha studies your face, she knows you’re hurt over Bucky not responding. Brock Rumlow was the furthest thing from your mind and heart.
“I will,” She promises and your phone rings, your best friend’s face flashing across the screen.
You take the call knowing the odd time difference between the two of you had her more on edge.
“Hey,” You greet.
“Don’t hey me, did you report him?” She all but yells.
“I don’t want to associate any further—,”
“Bullshit, you absolutely should report that piece of shit unless Barnes has murdered him already, so you cannot call the cops cause then he will be in jail.” She cuts you off.
“I don’t think he knows yet.” You admit, Natasha looks at you, quietly speaking to Steve and updating him about what occurred.
“What do you mean? Is he okay? Because Barnes would not let that asshat breathe. Hell I’m taking the next plane out of Melbourne.” Her nails on the keyboard resound.
“No, no, don’t! Just, okay, look Nat patched me up and she also said vodka’s good for the pain as well so I’m fine and he’s, he’s probably busy…” You defend Bucky, once again.
“Babe, he has been busy awful lot since he started dating that bimbo bitch.” She clicks her tongue, annoyed at the man.
“Look can we just, drop the whole thing, I, I think I need to sleep, and you need to get to work.” You remind her.
“Just leave me messages through the day alright and no memes or links coherent language only.” She warns you.
“Yes alright coherent language only.” You promise.
Nat comes by with a plate of food, placing it in front with a fork. You stare at the pasta for a minute.
“I called Steve, he got through, Bucky is out with her…” She trails off.
“Oh, did Steve say anything?” You hesitate to ask, Nat shakes her head.
“He knows you wouldn’t like her to know so he just made sure Bucky would check his messages.” She gnaws at her bottom lip struggling to say something.
“What?” You look at her.
“You should really report him, this wasn’t the first time was it?” She states you look down at your hands.
“No.” You close your eyes at the admission.
“How long have you kept things from us? From Bucky?” She places a gentle hand over your forearm.
“He, he was very particular, no where where anyone would know. Started two months ago. I tried breaking up after the first time but—,” Your vision blurs, the tears are harder to hold back.
“Do you want me to take pictures? I know we can file a case, or at least a restraining order…” Natasha tries to coax you to listen to her but you just shake you head.
“I can’t I don’t want more trouble, Nat. It’s over he’s gone. The fight was more about him shifting to L.A. and me not wanting to follow.”
“Are you in love with him still?”
“I never was, I just, I thought I could learn to love him and then he just tried to beat it into me…” You shudder in remembrance.
Natasha leaves the topic, knowing that it was difficult to walk away even let alone relive the ordeal.
It is four days later at the scheduled game night that you see Bucky, you don’t greet him.
He furrows his brow when you move away from the living room to the bathroom before he can take a good look at you.
“Where’s Rumlow?” He questions and the room turns silent.
“Did you not see her messages?” Steve crosses his arms.
“What messages?” Bucky retrieves his phone.
“Barnes, when did you last speak to her?” Nat questions then scoffs as Sharon wraps her arm around his wrist pushing the phone down.
“A few days ago, why?” He answers, running a hand along Sharon’s arm.
“Bucky.” She pouts.
“What is it baby?” He questions, being distracted from the conversation at hand by his girlfriend.
“Bucky you should go speak to Y/N.” Steve adds with a bit more seriousness.
“What happened, is she, is Firefly alright?” He looks up in worry.
“Ugh, she always wants your attention.” Sharon whispers loudly, “Does she not have her own boyfriend?”
“Don’t you have better things to do than cling to Bucky’s arm? Or is your default personality trait whiny girlfriend only?” Natasha uses the same tone as Sharon.
Sam covers up his laugh with a cough.
“Bucky.” Sharon whines again then moves away to go to the balcony sniffling and tears welling up.
“Crocodile tears.” Nat rolls her eyes.
“Nat.” Bucky gives an exasperated look, chasing behind Sharon to mend things.
“Steve, please let me punch him.” Nat pleads.
“You know she doesn’t want us to tell him, how has he not responded after the texts? We all got them.” Steve sighs taking another sip of his beer.
You return, wiping you eyes, for any stray tears or mascara.
“Whats got her in pain now?” You ask, a look of disdain taking over. You try not to stretch your lip as the sting from the cut still presents itself.
“Nat called her whiny.” Sam chuckles.
“Nat…” You sigh.
“What, it’s about time we call her out.” She shrugs.
“How are you holding up?” Sam questions, eyes on your busted lip.
“Eh, been better will be better soon I guess?” You shrug and wince as the pain in your shoulder blade presents itself.
“And now she’s making a face at me!” Sharon accuses you and then goes back to the balcony.
Bucky’s heavy sigh echoes through the room.
“Firefly, can you not? I know you all don’t like her much but I do okay? Christ some best friend you are,” Bucky turns back to once again console his girlfriend running a hand through his hair in frustration.
“Some best friend?” Your cold tone makes Bucky turn to face you, a quip ready on his exhausted tongue, he doesn’t get to speak because he finally takes in your appearance.
The bags under your eyes, the redness housed within them, the busted lip you have and the slight wince as you take a deep breath.
“I’m going to kill him.” Bucky connects the dots in his mind.
“No need, these were days ago, I needed you and you were not there James.” You accuse, tears brimming once more.
“I, Steve said to see my texts but I had none from you… Steve why did you not say anything?”
“You could have called me. You, I left you voicemails, crying sobbing, asking for you. For your help. You weren’t there. They didn’t say anything because I wanted to tell you but then again, your time and devotion is pre-booked. Let me know when a slot opens up, I can summarise the whole thing in two minutes, the least I can do as some best friend.” You sneer, walking towards the door in no mood to stay any longer.
Bucky mechanically follows you,
“Firefly, I—, I swear I don’t have any messages, I’m not lying!”
“You could have called!” You accuse.
“I was out—,” Bucky tries to grasp your hand.
“Like I said, I know you’re too busy, for me.” You press the call button several times more waiting for the elevator to come up faster.
“That is no excuse, I’m so sorry, I just, please stay, we can talk.” His hand reaches to grab your shoulder. A painful sound escapes you and you flinch away from him.
“Where else did he hurt you?” Bucky’s tone holds no emotion, you look up at his face, the stoic expression masks his feelings but the anger in his blue eyes is reaching its summit.
Your eyes shift to the elevator when it dings to signal the opening of the doors.
“You aren’t leaving.” Bucky informs you.
“I do not want to talk about this.” You tell him, feeling like your heart might break again.
“I do. I need to know what did he do, because he won’t be breathing after I’m done with him.”
“It doesn’t work that way.” Your eyes shift to Sharon who rolls her eyes at you, then puts on a pout when Bucky turns to look at her.
“Bucky,” “Not now Sharon.”
Bucky turns back, but you’re inside the elevator. He steps ahead to join you, the doors begin closing his fingertips just graze the border where the sensors would have the automatic doors reopen.
He’s pulled back by his arm by Sharon, you look down. Heart breaking again, that you can’t even be prioritised by your best friend. He won’t even fight for you.
Bucky catches the quiet sob that escapes past your lips at wrapping itself around his heart squeezing upon it.
“Do you have any semblance that someone else could have bigger problems that you?” Bucky looks at Sharon, taking his arm out of hers.
“Baby,” She begins her fake tears again.
“God, not with this again. Sharon, seriously please.” Bucky groans in frustration.
“You want to spend all your time with that stupid bitch.” She complains as Bucky turns to press the elevators if he is fast enough he can catch up to you.
“She’s my best friend. She needs me.” Bucky glares at Sharon.
“No, she does not she managed to find help elsewhere four days ago, she just wants your attention.”
“What the fuck did you say?” Natasha verbalises the question brewing within Bucky.
“I-, no I said nothing! Nothing!” The blonde stutters in defence.
“Oh I’m going to smack this fucking bitch—,” Nat is pulled back by Steve.
“Did you delete Firefly’s messages and voicemails?” Bucky’s voice is low and cold, almost similar to what yours was towards him.
“I—, no,” Sharon gulps audibly, sweat breaking across her forehead.
“You have one more chance, did you fucking delete messages my best friend left for me, at a time she needed me?” Bucky’s hands form fists. Sharon had kept asking to take pictures on his phone, then sending herself the ones she liked thats when she must have deleted all of your communication to him.
“Bucky, it’s always, Firefly this and Firefly that, what about me?” Sharon defends, trying to move close to Bucky.
The elevator dings, opening on the floor. Bucky crosses the threshold.
“I’m going to send the elevator back up, I want you out of my life. My house key can be dropped off here at Natasha’s, don’t you dare try to contact me or anyone. It is over.”
Sharon’s final plea falls on deaf ears as the doors are closed and Bucky lets out a heavy sigh. He brings out his phone trying to call you as he jogs through the crowd towards the nearest station, checking the watch he knows the next train leaves in ten minutes.
Bucky calls out your name through the station, his breathing erratic. You have your hood up, not wanting to be spotted by him.
You can hear his calls, the way your phone vibrates in your pocket a frantic echo of his own booming voice.
“I’m sorry, I really am so sorry, it is no excuse she deleted the messages, fuck, I should have called. I should have been the one there. I’m your best friend. I should have caught on earlier.” He tenderly cups your face between his hands, guilt seeping into his bones.
His thumbs wipe your tears, you don’t want to have a public meltdown.
“Come on let’s get you home, I think we still have time to grab ice cream from Mrs. Lorena’s store.” His warm hands leave your face, but the warmth returns on your hands as he intertwines them with his, you want to cry all over again.
Bucky takes charge of leading you through the night train, you both stand in favour of the elderly couple who need the seats. They look at the two of you warmly.
You feel small, your hand never leaving his, he stays close with almost a protective stance over you.
Bucky notes the change in your demeanour. How you’re hiding away, flinching at loud sounds.
It eats at him how these small things had inculcated themselves into you the past months you were with Rumlow. He didn’t care about the consequences, he will beat the shit out of that fucker.
Your mind races, back to the night you first went out with Rumlow. Somehow your mind kept comparing what he did to Bucky. As though your tall brunette best friend should be the standard of all men.
————————————————–
You weren’t going to call Rumlow back, realising that maybe the reason you were comparing him to Bucky was because you were in love with your best friend, your Bucky.
The conversation was going to be simple, carry a bouquet of his favourite flowers, a letter in your hand filled with your confession. Your nerves singed with each step towards his door.
You rang the bell, once, twice; then you heard the laughter and kisses. Your heart sunk, you scrambled to hide at the other end of the hallway.
Bucky came into view with Sharon, the business major. They make their way to his door, lips meeting ever so often, you feel each one deliver a crack to your heart.
Maybe, maybe you were meant to be best friends only. The door closes and you can hear their sounds, you move past the corridor and exit the building.
Nodding to yourself, Bucky Barnes and you best friends through college.
————————————————–
“Firefly?” Bucky waves a hand in front of you, you blink, looking around.
“Huh?” You speak before realising.
“I asked where is your key ring?” Bucky looks at you in worry.
“Oh um,” You fish around for the familiar keyring handing it to him.
Bucky opens the door at sets down the bag of groceries. How long did you space out for?
“So, here is your mission, should you choose to accept it,” He brings out your favourite ice cream tub from the bag.
Your face breaks out into a grin, a laugh finally reverberating in your chest rather than sobs.
“Is it to eat this ice cream and talk to your idiot best friend.” Bucky holds up two spoons as an offer.
You grab one, then grab the tub and make a run for the living room couch.
“Oh no you don’t!” Bucky chases after you, you twist around the last minute your foot and his tangling with the fluffy carpet under the coffee table, you both land on the couch.
Bucky is above you as your foreheads collide and the tub of ice cream rolls onto the floor.
“Are you okay?” He questions, as you rub your forehead and his, the ache dies down slightly of the impact.
“Sort of,” You wince, then look at him.
The two of you lock gazes, heat blooms between you both. Red tinged cheeks.
Bucky had wondered how it would be, to hold you this close.
You had wondered how it would be, to have him in your arms.
Both of you break out of your thoughts and scramble to sit up. Ankles still caught in the carpet, you both slide down the couch, ending with your straddling his hips.
His hands move to your hips and yours wrap around his neck.
Bucky feels your warm breath fan across his face, how is it you fit so well against him, as though you belong next to him.
You feel his fingers gently squeeze your hips, how is it that your arms encircle him as though he belongs between them, next to you.
You feel something poke your thigh. Bucky’s eyes widen.
“Um, is is that…”
“No um, no,”
Bucky panics at your suggestion quickly moving you from his lap to beside him on the floor.
The spoons clatter to the floor between his legs.
The sigh that leaves from Bucky’s lips has you laugh, he joins in. Shoulders shaking and heads thrown back in mirth.
Your head on his shoulder and his resting on of top yours.
Laughter and giggles filling the apartment after months.
————————————————–
It is another month later when you all are at your weekly game night at Bucky and Steve’s place.
“Barnes, who are you taking to the wedding then?” Sam questions between shuffling the deck of Uno Cards.
“What wedding?” You curiously look up Bucky sighs, shoulders deflating.
“Maya is getting married, and insisted I bring someone along, and well they wanted to meet my girlfriend but I’ve broken up.” He explains, placing a chip in his mouth.
“So just tell them?” You quirk an eyebrow.
“You remember Maya right?” He looks at you with an incredulous gaze.
“And Mr. Barnes here hasn’t told her, he’s broken up. Wanted to show off the whiney girl.” Sam announces.
“Winnie Barnes would not approve.” Steve adds quietly and Bucky groans.
Nat gives you a look before looking down into her phone. You blink a few times not understanding what that look meant.
Your phone chimes, your eyebrows furrow at the message.
Best Friend: go as his fake date to the wedding, his family adores you.
Me: who even told you?
Best Friend: not important.
You look up with a glare at Natasha.
Best Friend: don’t glare at her. She’s an innocent baby.
Me: I’m not doing the fake date thing. Not with Bucky, it will be hard.
Best Friend: come on, he looks at you the same way.
Me:he doesn’t. and also bye. i’m not having this conversation again.
You place your phone back, looking up at the four of them staring at you.
“What?” You question, picking up your seven cards.
“Do you have any solution for Bucky?” Steve wonders, you look at Nat, she shrugs innocently.
You narrow your eyes at her.
“Let me think.” You bide your time. Bucky inhales deeply, seeing his own set of cards.
Your phone chimes again, you control the groan that whats to leave you.
Best Friend: listen, just trust me okay? When have I said something that turned to shit?
Me: its only twice your plans have not turned to shit.
Best Friend: ouch. this won’t turn to shit come on, help him out. I’ll ask Nat to let you win.
Me: as if I need to be let to win.
Best Friend: she has 4 draw fours.
Me: what the fuck?
You look up and Nat discreetly shows you proof.
“Say the word and you get them.” Nat whispers.
More encouragement comes through from your best friend.
“What if, Bucky, you take a fake date…” You clear your throat.
“Maya will catch on its a fake date and then it will be a mess, I just will fake a work thing.”
“What if I go? As your um fake date?” You offer, placing your cards face down near the space between you and Nat.
“Are you sure? I mean they may believe it…” Bucky trails off in thought.
“I mean, only if you’re comfortable… Just Maya will be upset if you don’t go at all and not having a date should not stop you—,”
“No, I think it should work, we know each other well enough to pretend to be in love.” Bucky grins.
You try not to wince, “Yup, yeah, won’t be hard to pretend.” You agree.
“Thank you, Firefly.” Bucky beams for the remainder of the game even as you beat his ass with your exchanged cards.
————————————————–
BestFriend: so who wants to bet on they return as an official couple? I place a 100 bucks.
Natasha: add my 100 to that
Sam: nah man they’re too scared to admit it.
Steve: they won’t damage the friendship.
Best Friend: Oh lil Samuel and lil Steve ya’ll better be ready to pay up.
————————————————–
You grasp the handle of your suitcase a little tighter as Bucky’s car pulls around the corner. You walk closer to the edge where he could park for a few moments as you would load up your things.
Bucky set the car into park stepping out and greeting you with a wide smile. You return the gesture, he envelopes you into one of his warm hugs. Easing your nerves.
“Here give it to me and you can hang the dress near the suit.” Bucky takes your small suitcase and you open the backseat door his navy suit hanging from the hook, you place your own dress near it. Checking for any folds and then getting into the front seat with him.
“So um,” He says after a few moments of silence.
“Yeah?” You look at him, he seems nervous.
“We need to get our stories straight…” He hints you nod.
“When did we start dating, first date, who asked who?” You list, he nods.
“Guess watching those rom-coms proved to be useful.” He chuckles, you swat his arm lightly.
“Okay so we sort of confessed a few months ago, but we were scared to ruin the friendship.” He offers, which in a sense was true for him, though he never confessed. Even though he had fallen for you.
“Yes and we decided to date other people, but those didn’t work out so we decided to give it a shot cause the feelings never went away.” Which was true you think, at the back of your mind you were in love with him.
“Okay, yes so we’re dating since a month and a half…” He offers, you hum in agreement.
“Yep and first date…” you pause to think.
“Ice cream parlour.” He offers, you smile that was actually your first outing as friends.
“Yeah, and you had the cherry stuck to your nose with whipped cream.” You begin to laugh.
“Oh right miss, whipped cream moustache.” He gives you a look, chuckling as well.
“Oh right, you looked like a clown.” You roll your eyes.
“And you were my sidekick.” Bucky teases.
“Alright, alright, and we both confessed, got each other flowers and stuff.” You admit, you had put the flower in resin.
Bucky grips the wheel, he had gotten one flower’s petals from the bouquet preserved.
“Yeah, that, that sounds romantic enough.” He clears his throat. The earlier tension seeping back into him, was this a mistake? What if he said something stupid.
“Hey, um, Buck?” Your hand rests on his shoulder.
He looks at you at the stop sign.
“If, if at any point you feel the whole faking thing gets too much lets you know keep a safe word and we’ll you know revert to being best friends and try to exit that situation okay?” You offer.
“You’re perfect you know? I was nervous what if it gets too much for either of us and this yeah the safe word is sensible.” He agrees.
“So whats our safe word?” You question.
“Draw-four.” His mouth twists as though he can taste the loss against your multiple draw fours that you saved just for him at the one on one game.
You can’t help but laugh, “Okay, draw-four it is.”
Bucky shakes his head, shifting the gear as the green light comes into view.
“Also, Firefly, I want you to be comfortable I know what the fucker did might linger or come back at random moments, I know you’re doing well with therapy but if it gets too much or if anything triggers you, please tell me. I will get you out of that situation or help you as you need okay?” He says, you feel your chest constrict at the intensity of him caring about you.
“I will, Bucky, I promise.” You give his hand a squeeze oer the gearshift.
————————————————–
The two hour journey to the venue has you both slightly tired, mostly hungry. The rehearsal dinner was the event you both had to dress up first for, as you both enter the venue.
A squeal has you both turn.
“Maya.” Bucky grins opening his arms for his cousin to come crashing into him.
“I thought you were going to ditch my wedding.” She complains but then bounces excited, “Now introduce me to your date!” her eyes turn to you, widening.
You offer a smile your congratulations to her caught in your throat as she screams excitedly once again.
“Oh my god, I knew it! I knew this would be best friends to lovers! James you did good! Wait till I tell Aunt Winnie and Becca!” Maya cheers pulling you into a hug. You hug back and Bucky scratches the back of his neck giving you a nervous look.
Maybe it would not be hard to convince them that you both were in love he thinks…. The only problem was how does he convince himself not to blabber to you.
You feel Maya’s excitement seep into you as well when she pulls away, jumping slightly.
“Congratulations!” You cheer.
“Girl, you have to tell me how did you both realise.” She raises a finger up in warning.
“I will, I will.” You give a promise to the bride.
“What is all this commotion?” Winnie Barnes steps out of the room that Maya was in, her smile widening as she spots her son.
You admire them as they hug after months of staying apart.
Winnie pulls away from the hug, running a hand over Bucky’s hair and then cupping his jaw.
“Ma, don’t cry you saw me yesterday on video-call.” Bucky wipes her tears.
“Not the same,” She pats his head, placing a kiss on his forehead.
“I love you.” He engulfs her in a hug again.
“I love you too, sunshine.” She smiles warmly.
“Now where is this mystery date of yours, hiding things from your Ma,” She gives him a small glare, Bucky widens his eyes. He scrambles to turn and his hand is outstretched towards you, you intertwine your fingers with his, stepping next to him.
“Bucky, you better not be lying.” She looks between the two of you, his grip tightens on your hand.
“We’re not, Mrs. Barnes—,”
“Sweetheart, Winnie for you always.” His mom corrects you, a warm smile.
She cups your cheek as well.
“So he finally came to his senses.” She teases.
“We both did…” You add with a smile, looking up at Bucky, admiring him.
Bucky looks down at you, your gazes transfixed upon each-other his blue eyes inviting.
Bucky wants to be lost in your eyes, drowning in their deepness. Submerging himself in the affection that they currently hold for him.
A flash has you both turn and shake your heads.
“I need one for the album.” Maya reasons and Bucky sighs.
“Send me a copy?” You offer trying to dissipate the tension.
“Why don’t you both settle into your room? And no funny business.” Winnie warns, you both pale.
“Ma, I would, no—,” Bucky stutters, a blush coating his cheeks.
Winnie looks at you, before laughing.
“He better be treating you right, sweetheart, if not just tell me. I’ll sort him out.” She gives him a warning look.
Then Winnie cups your cheek, “I am so happy you’re with him.” She says earnest.
Guilt gnaws at you, Winnie probably would be heartbroken if she knew you both were lying through your teeth.
“Sir, Ma’am, your room is ready, we’ll have the luggage delivered to your room in the next ten minutes.” The receptionist hands you the keycards.
“Well go freshen up I’ll see you both at seven-thirty for the rehearsal dinner.”
With a final hug to Winnie and Maya both of you sauntered into your room. Bucky looks at the bed. The only bed.
“Um, I’ll take the sofa.” He offers.
“Bucky that sofa is not even going to fit your legs…” You inform him.
“We’ll just make a wall of pillows?” You offer.
“Are you sure?” His mind wanders to the night you were in his arms, straddling his lap.
He coughs to remind himself; not to let his mind wander astray.
You nod, at what you don’t know, it’s not like you both haven’t cuddled or been in each other’s physical space before. Road trips you both pretty much sat next to each other fell asleep listening to songs so why was this different?
“Is it cool if I shower first?” Bucky turns to the bathroom, “Oh fuck me.” He mutters.
“What?” You follow his line of vision.
What kind of hotel was this?
The wall between the bathroom and bedroom wasn’t opaque it was a glass, a very transparent glass. The door was made on frosted glass, but again you would be able to understand what was going on.
You gulp audibly.
Bucky opens the door to check if there is a curtain or towel to cover the pane.
The bathroom proves to be larger, inside, the toilet seat away from the view only the glass shower and bathtub can be perceived from the glass.
You peek from the glass as Bucky rests his hands on his hips as he looks around for a solution.
“Shower with swimsuits?” He offers an idea.
“Bucky I didn’t carry one…” You scratch the back of your neck, suddenly everything feels incredibly warm.
“Underwear then…”
“How about we just shower while the other one faces away? Or lays in bed…” you counter.
It seems plausible, Bucky purses his lips, then nods.
“So um, you lay down, stretch your feet out and I’ll um, shower first then I’ll lay down…” He runs a hand through his hair and then over his stubble.
You nod, grabbing your phone and turning to the bed.
Bucky grabs his toiletries and powers through going to the very open bathroom. Maybe the hot water will fog up the glass?
You immediately text your best friend and Natasha about the one bed and very daunting bathroom situation but they just send stupid laughing emojis in response.
You groan.
Some friends they are, the shower runs and from your angle on the bed you can’t see a thing apart from the ceiling of the bathroom, you sigh.
It would just be easier to admit to Bucky you have feelings for him. You can’t risk your friendship though.
Bucky sighs in content as the droplets hit his skin. The warm water taking away the stress of the day and tenseness in his shoulders. He watches the rivulets trail from his body to the anti skid flooring. One hand on the wall.
His mind briefly wonders what would it be like to have his ex here and then he dismisses the thought. Sharon and he were supposed to be a one off a distraction from his growing feelings for you.
Then she got clingy, demanding every waking minute of his to be hers to fill with herself and her own needs and wants.
Bucky sighs again, the suds of soap now turning clear. He grabs the towel, checking the glass sure enough it is fogged up by the heat.
He puts on his boxers and jeans as he exits and your voice catches in your throat as a lone rivulet makes its was down his neck then chest then abdomen, ending just over the taut band of muscles and you feel as though the world is in slow motion.
“Take a picture it will last longer.” Bucky teases bringing you out of your staring.
“I h-hope you didn’t use up all t-the hot water.” You stutter get up grabbing your set of things from your bag.
The outfit for tonight was a simple purple jumpsuit that brought out your curves, and chest. Long sleeves but very comfortable.
Bucky lays down, texting Sam and Steve finally about what was happening. They both offered him advice on avoiding the shared bed but then the picture of the couch he sent had them agree with your pillow wall idea.
As the shower runs he feels himself grow less confident in his plan to have you both pretending, he was so sure he’d slip up.
When you exit Bucky’s lips part the deep purple of the jumpsuit bringing out the colour of your skin and eyes. The neckline of the outfit was probably his favourite, it was low, and accentuated your chest as the sleeves were the ones that had slits on them.
It showed skin but in a way that was risqué but classy.
The fabric hugged the curve of your hips and Bucky wanted to pull you close to him just so he could feel your warmth.
“Take a picture it will last longer.” You tease him and he shakes his head, observing you do your make up. He’d seen it before the way your tongue would poke out in concentration as you picked which eyeshadow to use or if the colours were going well with what you were wearing.
You turn to him once you’re done,
“Can you see if these are even?” You sit next to him on the bed closing your eyes.
Bucky’s eyes are on your lips and not eyelids. He traces their outline with his gaze, appearing so soft and so inviting.
“Bucky? Is the eyeliner equal?” You open your eyes as he looks up at your confused expression.
“Yes, um w-was just ma-making sure they were equal…” He stammers out quickly getting up and to further aid drying his hair. He was growing it out again.
The two of you make it downstairs, Bucky’s arm slips around your waist before you enter. Pulling you close to his warmth. You smile up at him.
“You look beautiful.” He admits looking down at you with a smile that sends flutters through your stomach.
“You look quite handsome yourself.” You offer him an equally butterfly inducing smile.
Bucky knows his heart will break this weekend but if he gets to pretend to be yours then its worth it.
You look up at Bucky stealing a final glance before walking through the door. You suddenly realise that maybe, maybe basking in this pretend would at-least give you a taste of happiness, even if the magic would end come Monday morning.
As the two of you find your seating next to Rebecca, who also is elated at you being the secret girlfriend. The dinner begins to go by without a hitch.
Emotional words are said in the practice speeches and the love between Maya and her to be husband, Marcus; is felt through all the attendees, tying them all together.
Bucky has his arm around the back of your chair, as you all wait for dessert. He doesn’t realise it when he begins to trace soft patters along your mid back. You lean into his comforting touch, allowing him to continue.
When you look up at him, your breath hitches at how intently he looks at you. Those azure eyes taking in every bit of your own eyes.
“Oh come on, just kiss already.” Rebecca’s voice stops the patterns being drawn upon you.
“W-what?” You look at her in confusion.
“You both look like you want to tear into each other.” She rolls her eyes, “Just kiss we’re all adults. Well except the kids table in the corner but,” Rebecca shrugs.
Bucky leans in deciding to kiss your cheek just to shut his sister’s mouth. You then turn to face him just when his lips were to brush you cheek.
His soft, slightly chapped lips brush over yours, his eyes widen for a moment. Then he closes them, his hand cups your jaw. You feel that damned fluttering feeling again, as you kiss him back. Your palm resting on his chest. His heart thundering wildly against his chest.
The kiss lasts for a few moments, that feel as though time was slowed down, all too soon you pull away from him. Biting your own bottom lip and a deep blush creeping across your chest and neck.
“What did you just start dating?” Rebecca comments, “That looked like a middle schooler’s kiss.”
Bucky tries to make sense, you try to make sense as well. Because what the fuck, you both just kissed each other.
“We aren’t into PDA.” You defend with a sip of your drink to soothe the nerves.
Your hand rests on Bucky’s knee, a grounding action that the two of you needed.
Back, in the room; he begins to undo his shirt, he’s halfway done when he pauses.
“Firefly?”
You turn to face him, the make up from your face gone.
“Bucky?”
“Was, was the kiss okay?” He fidgets with the cufflink as he undoes it.
“I um, guess yeah? Why?” You bring your eyes back up to his,
“No, no, um Rebecca’s comment just well, what if we don’t appear that comfortable?”
“Do we practice kissing?” You wonder, god just dig a six feet deep hole and bury yourself in it.
“I, thats not, I’m not—,” He lets out a frustrated sigh, closing the space between you two.
Your ears begin a ringing at the way his cologne floods your senses.
Bucky’s warm hands cup your cheeks,
“I’m not, not trying to take advantage of this but um, maybe we could table kissing? Because I guess handholding and all of the other things we’ve done as, as best friends, so…”
“Yeah no um, yeah I get what you’re saying,” you agree.
“No kissing then.”
“Nope, no kissing.”
With the rule established you both wind down for the night the pillow wall is built and the covers are pulled over your frames.
Exhaustion tugs at your body but sleep seems to be at its wits end not wanting to arrive to you.
Bucky shifts around in bed, staring at the pillow wall. That should not have been the first kiss between the two of you.
His mind is running a mile a minute, he wonders if you’ve fallen asleep.
“Bucky, you awake?” Your soft whisper has him tug one pillow away.
“Hey,” His soft smile greets you with his hair tousled and eyes craving sleep.
“Hey,” you smile back, your eyes on the verge of sleep, a few strands of your hair curling around your forehead.
“Can’t sleep?” He wonders and you nod.
“You too?” You ask and he nods.
“Do you want to talk till we fall asleep?” You offer as a plan.
“Sounds like a plan.” Bucky’s heart feels warm.
It is quiet for a moment before Bucky decides to tell you about his promotion at work. It’s hardly been time at the firm but they recognise his potential.
You reach across the wall and hug him, Bucky grins and wraps his arms around you, relishing the moment.
“Thats great! I’m so proud of you!” You cheer him on, he grins. You both slowly pull away from the hug. Returning to your respective sides.
The conversation flows from there, about what his new responsibilities would be and how he would have to divide his time. Both sets of eyelids get heavy and Bucky dozes off mid conversation, you chuckle lightly. Brushing his hair back and then slumber find you as well. With your hand resting on his cheek.
————————————————–
It’s very warm for the cooler spring day that was predicted.
Bucky is usually feeling like a furnace but today he is exceptionally warm as well. Not that he is complaining but something about the warmth is inviting.
A soft whimper presents itself to Bucky and his eyes peel open. You’re pressed against flush him, his head was buried in the crook of your neck, an arm around your waist. Your arm resting above his own.
“Firefly…” He tries to coax you out of slumber.
“Five more minutes…” You mutter sleepily, shifting around till you face him and your head rests on his chest. How do you have a death grip on him to not let him escape he doesn’t understand.
“Firefly… we gotta get to breakfast…” Bucky manages to free his hand and brushes his thumb over your cheek bone.
Honestly he wouldn’t leave the bed if he woke up to you everyday.
“Shhh, the dough is resting.” You grumble, shifting closer.
“The dough?” Bucky grins amused.
“I’m the dough, must rest in the oven.” You complain again.
“I thought you’re my Firefly.” Oh he’s going to ask you about this.
“I can be two things.” You pull away looking at him.
Bucky looks at you, waiting for the sleepiness to leave you.
“Bucky?” You ask, then look down at your intertwined bodies, well you clinging onto him.
“Firefly, good morning.” He chuckles and then you move away from him all too soon.
“Why didn’t you wake me earlier?!” You sit up on your side, face hidden in your hands.
“Because the dough needed to rest.” He says matter of factly
“What dough?” You question, then it hits you the drunken analogy you had come up with your best friend and Nat,
“Oh that no, um, i’m, i’m going to the bathroom.”
You grab your phone and things as quickly as possible, Bucky remains laying in bed you know he’s still laughing, the endearment is clear in his demeanour but you have half a mind you’re going to be called dough from now on till you spill the reason.
Me: i sleepily blabbed to him about resting the dough.
Best Friend: you know this is why I too up night classes here, to stay awake for the fresh batch of well rested dough stories.
Nat: So how was the resting of the dough on the very hot oven?
Me: i hate you both. It was a drunken analogy about Bucky being warm.
Best Friend: that made you want to be dough resting in the oven.
Nat: so when will you get to baking? Now that you have rested.
Best Friend: oh I think very soon, Bucky’s probably stiffly up to the right temperature.
Me: i will smack you both. stop it.
You groan silently. Keeping your phone on the counter. Useless, your friends are useless comedians at your expense.
Breakfast passes by in the hotel as an uneventful affair, Bucky and you decided that meal times without family intervention would be on best friend mode so the conversation was mutual topics and trying to see if you could squeeze in a marathon of harry potter movies to commemorate the time you did the same in college a year ago.
The ceremony is at five which gives you a few hours to kill before absolutely needing to get ready.
“Do you think we should ask your mum or Maya if she needs any help? It just feels weird being just a guest…”
Bucky’s hair is falling upon his forehead when he looks up at you. Unthinkingly you reach over to help move it, and for a moment he wants to just have your fingertips run through his hair as he lays next to you.
“I, yes, we should.” He wonders if you can hear his heart beating almost as if it will leap out of his chest.
And you both find yourselves barely making it in time to get changed for the ceremony. Bucky takes over ironing duty since he knows your absolutely need to wash your hair before an event otherwise you don’t feel yourself.
In the nick of time you make it, Bucky eternally grateful you had his cufflinks set up and he helps you zip up the dress.
You both are panting by the time you reach the attached ballroom. With just two minutes till the bridal march. The wedding planner shoos you both off with a glare as if Bucky and you never helped set the decor because five people of her team fell ill.
“Shouldn’t have fixed that centrepiece.” You grumble as Bucky snickers before you settle into the seats.
“Firefly, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have left it unfixed.” He whispers leaning in,
“I would.” You whisper back.
“You’re too nice.”
“I’ll break it. Let the reception begin.” You warn him.
He wraps his arm around your shoulder bringing you close.
“I think the dough needs some rest.” He teases.
“James.” You warn, the redness of your cheeks only urging him onward.
“James—,” Your voice caught in your throat at his proximity. He licks his lips, eyes on your soft ones. You’re wearing that red lipstick from the brand you frequently stayed up at night to order from, and he could lie and say the shade does nothing for you because your lips seem so inviting the shade of red adding to your allure.
If you ask him for his heart he’d give it to you right there, he’d get on his knees and beg you to have it.
The bridal march breaks his reverie and both of you stand up with the crowd as Maya walks down the aisle with her father, looking every bit of an angel in her wedding gown.
When you look at her fiancé, your heart lurches, he’s crying tears of joy watching her close the final bit of distance between them and their forever.
As her father gives her hand in her to be husband, the intimate look of hidden smiles they share almost has you look away.
Bucky watches the ceremony play out, Maya and Marcus have to say their vows now and he knows they were best friends before Maya admitted her feelings and they have been together four years before they got engaged.
“I believe the couple have prepared their own vows.” The minister gestures and Marcus’ best man hands him his folded papers.
“Maya, I met you in high school and you were instantly my best friend.” Marcus begins.
“We made a list of promises of what we would do and a set of friendship rules, you may not remember but I still have those pieces of decorated cardboard.”
Maya laughs, recalling the memory.
You look up at Bucky, recalling the moment from where you both turned into each other’s best friends.
“The first time as best friends when we had an argument was over where would we go to for college, because in all honesty you and I can only function if we’re close enough to share our one braincell.”
Their entire bridal party laughs at the joke.
You recall the time you were paired with him to play Charades and the two of you sucked so horribly that the entire group banned the game.
“That day I was so angry but when I went back home I saw those cardboards. I knew college could be done anywhere but my best friend? I couldn’t leave her. That is the best damn decision, I made, well that and proposing to you and today standing in front of you, vowing to be by your side, even when you hate me leaving my clothes scattered on the floor, loving you even when I may be annoyed at you for not being able to pick a place for dinner,”
Maya lightly swats him, then wipes a tear.
You stare at Bucky catching the smile on his face, you wonder what he thinks about, then you feel him about to look at you so you look ahead.
“To cherish you even when things around us may push and shove us to not remember what we’re together for, to nourish and nurture our love, our life,
to work on myself to be the best I can be for you. To support you in everything you need me to support you, to catch you if you stumble, to be held by you if I tumble. I vow to be your best friend, love and husband as long as time is ours.” Marcus gazes lovingly at his bride.
Bucky tears his eyes away when he hears your sniffle. You wipe your tears with the back of your hand. His hand shifts to wipe your tears and to hold you closer. Press his lips to your temple in promise.
“Marcus, how am I supposed to speak now?” Maya complains with a chuckle that masks a small sob.
Her groom shrugs innocently making all the teary eyed faces laugh.
“My Marcus, the day you entered my life, was the most ordinary day I thought but little did I know your doodle of a covalent bond in my notebook would be setting up the reaction for an extraordinary life ahead where I get to stand at the altar with you.” Maya looks up at him, Marcus smiles at her, eyes getting watery.
“When I admitted my feelings to you, I was scared to lose you. So scared that I was going to hold my silence. Then you brought those damn sliders from the place we went to as best friends and I knew I had to tell you how much more love my heart held for you.”
Buck looks down at you, every memory with you playing in his mind, taking in Maya’s words and replacing them with moments he has with his Firefly.
“I vow to not nag you for your clothes strewn across the floor.”
Bucky adores you as you laugh. Then looks back at the bride and groom.
“I vow to be brave when you need me to for myself and for you. I vow to let my fears show so you can be brave for me and yourself. I vow to cherish you for who you are and who you become. To nourish and nurture our love, our life. To work on myself for being the one you need through any stage of life we are at; to be your best friend, love and wife as long as time is ours.”
You gaze up at Bucky when his hand moves in your periphery, you catch the redness of his cheeks, he cried as well. Your hands ache to offer comfort.
Bucky gazes at you, both of your visions blurry from the tears.
“Beautiful words, now I ask you, Marcus Finnegan, do you take Maya Barnes as your lawfully wedded wife?” The minister questions Marcus.
He places the wedding band on her finger.
Bucky grasps your hand in his, fingers curling around the space between yours. You look from the half intertwined hands to Bucky questioningly.
He isn’t going to let you go, no.
If he had gotten to you first that night, maybe if he was brave enough he could have prevented the heartbreak.
“Now I ask you, Maya Barnes, do you take Marcus Finnegan as your lawfully wedded husband?” The minister questions Maya.
She places the wedding band on his finger.
You curl your fingers around his hand, letting tears flow down your cheeks. You hope with all your heart you’re interpreting his gesture correctly. If only you had gotten to him first that night.
“I present to you family and friends, by the power vested in me, Mr. and Mrs. Barnes-Finnegan. You may now kiss the bride.”
The cheers and clapping around the ballroom die down into a dull buzz, Bucky cups your cheek with his left hand, pulling your lips onto his own. The kiss filled with a longing and hunger that you both carried for months. Salt mixes with the taste of his lips. Fears slowly let gone off as you grasp his left hand that rests upon your cheek.
When the two of you pull away for air, hidden by everyone standing to keep clapping for the newly weds allowing you both to be tucked away in your little corner.
“Why didn’t we say anything?” Bucky laughs through the tears.
“I was scared to lose you.” You rest your forehead against his, Bucky wipes your tears as you wipe away his own.
“Firefly, I’m never letting you go. Should have walked upto you and that fucker.” He finally admits, confessing his entire plan to you.
“I kept thinking of doing the same when you were with her, showed up with your favourite flowers too. Have it preserved back home…”
“I’ve kept it preserved too.” Bucky admits, joy ceases his heart at your elation.
Your lips meet again, this time with lesser longing than before but the need to have each other ever present. Bucky’s lips peppered kisses all over your face, drawing out laughter from you.
Each mirthful moment tucked away for him to keep.
Your head resting on his chest as his arms around your waist, the slow notes of the song cascade around the two of you, Bucky had you on the dance floor from the first song, dinner left for later.
You tilt your head back looking up at him with so much adoration.
“Waited so long to have you look at me this way.” He admits.
“Always looked at you this way when you weren’t looking.” You confess.
“Never looking away from your gorgeous eyes, Firefly.” He promises, his lips ghost over yours, as you rise on your tip toes even with heels to kiss your Bucky.
synopsis:y/n and bucky were always bickering, bucky loved to tease and make fun of y/n, y/n didn’t enjoy it as much as he did though. but bucky does something stupid and reckless much to y/n’s surprise.
pairing:college!bucky x college!reader
warnings:cheating, violence, blood, she/her pronouns will be used for y/n, hints of enemies to lovers, cursing
taglist:@sp1deys @inu1gf @stanmixtapes @wilczachannn @peterparkertheloml(send an ask to be added!)
author’s notes: hi everyone!! sorry for being super inactive :( i had covid for a little bit and it made me eat shit (not literal shit) worst experience of my life! please wear ur mask!!
“hey, where’s the princess today?” bucky laughed, a smirk growing on his lips as he sat down at the table his friends were sat in. it was the group of friends’ regular hang out, the great ‘lucky cat café’, that was not so great, the coffee was shit, but at least that meant the group always had somewhere to sit.
sam, natasha and steve all looked at each other, an uncomfortable and uneasy atmosphere suddenly arising at the mention of y/n.
“what? what happened?” bucky’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, originally thinking that maybe y/n had been running late, but the awkward side glances the three were sharing said otherwise, “seriously guys, what’s up?”
“well, um..” natasha took a deep breath, “y/n can’t make it today, she’s busy.”
“that’s bullshit.”
“what? miss her already, buckaroo?” sam teased, trying to distract him.
“i’m being serious, what happened?” bucky questioned, staring at steve. bucky knew steve the best out of the three and he especially knew that steve would be the easiest to crack, “c’mon punk, you seriously keeping secrets from me now?”
“uh..” steve stared right at natasha, who just stared him down as intensely as bucky was, “this isn’t fair, you both aren’t playing fair.”
“fine, if no one is going to tell me, i’ll find out myself,” bucky rolled his eyes, getting up from his seat.
“barnes, wait.” natasha stopped him before he could even attempt to leave, “don’t. she doesn’t want anyone to bother her.”
“tell me what the fuck happened then,” bucky didn’t sit back down, but instead stared at the redhead. she looked guilty and the grimace on her face told bucky he wasn’t going to be receiving good news.
“you know ben, right?” natasha asked.
“yeah, her douchey boyfriend, what about him?” bucky narrowed his eyes.
“he cheated on her, now sit your ass down before you do something stup-“ natasha was interrupted by bucky.
“i’ll be back.”
“james, don’t you dare.” natasha glared at him and he took off running before the redheaded woman could even attempt to stop him.
“JAMES!” natasha yelled, watching him run out the cafe through the windows.
steve started to awkwardly laugh and put his hands up, “hey, i’m just glad it wasn’t me that cracked!”
“shut up, rogers.” natasha hit him on the arm, making him let out a whiny ‘ow’.
“we should really go after him..” sam pointed out, bringing attention back to the fact there was a wild bucky on the loose.
“yeah, we should.” steve agreed.
“you both say not moving an inch out of your seat?” natasha raised an eyebrow, smirking.
“y’know maybe he can actually confess to her instead of acting like a school boy and picking on her,” sam suggested, shrugging his shoulders.
“we all know he’s not going to y/n.” steve sighed.
“c’mon let’s get the dog back on a leash.” natasha got up from her seat, dumb and dumber quickly following after her.
after catching up to bucky, sam and steve each grabbed one of bucky’s arms pulling him away from the unconscious man laying on the ground, bucky may have knocked him out, but ben still managed to get a few decent hits on bucky, the bruises along his jaw and around his eye telling that much along with the blood trailing down his face from his nose.
“buck, enough! leave it!” steve yelled at bucky, who was still struggling in both steve’s and sam’s arms.
“i’m not done! this fucking asshole-“ bucky’s yelling was interrupted by steve.
“i said leave it! it’s not worth it!” steve yelled at his childhood friend, who slowly stopped resisting the two men holding him and just let his arms hang around their shoulders.
“jesus james, are you trying to get kicked out of this college? c’mon, let’s get you somewhere you can get cleaned up.” natasha sighed at her friend, “don’t think i won’t be kicking your ass later.”
“wouldn’t doubt it for a second..” bucky chuckled, then groaned at the metallic taste in his mouth. he spat the blood filling his mouth at the ground and sam started to scold him.
the four of them all rushed into nat’s dorm room, the one she shared with y/n and they laid bucky down on the small couch the two had managed to squeeze in there.
“what the fuck is going on?” y/n got out of bed quickly, staring at the four that had just barged into her dorm.
“hey doll, how’s it hangin’?” bucky smiled lazily, putting his arm up to wave at y/n.
“what the fuck happened to him?” y/n stared at natasha and then walked over to bucky, “what did you do, james.”
“what ever happened to… ‘hello!’, ‘how are you?’, ‘what’s up’?” bucky laughed, staring up at y/n’s face that was looking at his bruised face.
“you look like shit, barnes.”
“should see the other guy, doll.”
“y/n, sorry about this, but do you mind.. fixing him up?” steve asked, feeling guilty about even asking her for a favour.
“yeah, yeah, of course, just someone tell me what the fuck is going on,” y/n responded, getting out a first aid kit and taking out some alcohol wipes.
“ben.” was all that natasha had to say for y/n to understand and it was really only what she could say. y/n’s body stiffened and she turned to bucky with a sad expression. sure, she didn’t really hate him, but the two always bickered, why the hell did he go after ben.
“bucky, did you fight ben?” y/n asked, now crouching beside him, whilst ripping open the alcohol wipes.
“that’s our cue to get the hell out of here, see you!” sam grabbed steve and nat, making a beeline to the door.
“more like i beat his ass, darling,” bucky chuckled.
“what is wrong with you, why would you do that?” y/n sighed, cleaning the blood off his face.
“i know what he did,” bucky’s voice was more serious now, “i can’t believe he would even fucking think of doing that to you, let alone actually doing it! no one gets to be an asshole to you, y/n.”
y/n smiled slightly at his sincerity, “buck, you’re an asshole to me all the time.”
“yeah, well i’m special, no one gets to be an ass to you, but me.” he smiled back at her.
“you’re so stupid, bucky..” y/n grabbed the nearest bin and threw away the bloody wipe, “seriously, you didn’t have to do that, i know you’re constantly itching for a fight, but .. you really shouldn’t have done that.”
“it’ll teach a lesson to your next boyfriend for sure.” he grumbled, a hint of jealousy laced in his words.
“yeah? what if you were my next boyfriend,” y/n joked, but bucky’s eyes widened and he stared at her.
“i’d treat you a lot better that’s for damn sure!” he laughed, but his laughter was cut short as he groaned in pain at the bruise starting to hurt on his jaw.
“you really are a reckless idiot, james.”
“what can i say? reckless is my middle name,” he smirked.
“yeah, okay, buchanan.”
“not funny, don’t call me buchanan,” he tried to be serious, but seeing y/n smile just made his heart soften, “you know, you can talk to me about it if you want?”
y/n sighed and her gaze dropped, “i already knew.”
“what?” bucky looked confused at the confession.
“i knew he had been cheating on me.. for months now, but i thought.. hey, he’ll stop.. he loves me really, y’know?” y/n chuckled bitterly, whilst bucky just stared at her in shock, “i loved him, but every time i checked his phone i loved him less and less, i just felt trapped in the relationship. i guess in a weird way, i’m glad i caught him with my own eyes, because i’d have an excuse to dump him without sounding like a paranoid girlfriend… i’m so stupid.”
“hey, hey, hey, you aren’t stupid,” bucky sat up and let y/n lean her head on his knees whilst she was crouched on the floor, “you are one of the smartest girls i have ever met in my entire life, y/n, jesus sometimes you speak and i just don’t understand what on earth you are saying! would it kill you to speak at a dummies level for once, so i can understand ya? y/n.. he’s just a dumb guy and there will be so many more guys for you, hell, any guy out there would be winning the lottery to call you their girl! i know i’d kill to get to call you that, you’re an amazing girl, don’t doubt it for a single second, okay?”
y/n had looked up at him and he held her face in his bruised hands gently, smiling at her. she had a shaky smile on her lips and the tears were spilling out of her eyes, but not for ben, but because of how touched she was by bucky’s words.
“you’re such an asshole, buck.” y/n laughed.
“wow, okay, not the response i was expecting!” bucky sarcastically joked, sliding down on the the ground next to her and opening his arms for a hug, which she gladly accepted. the smell of his cologne made her smile, it was a cologne that only dads and old men would wear and it made y/n smile.
“how can you say that stuff and expect me to not be in love with you,” y/n mumbled into his shirt, hiding her face from him, dreading the rejection she expected to get from him. bucky’s arms just wrapped around her tighter and he squeezed her, a dopey smile spreading across his face.
“maybe i’m hoping that will happen,” he whispered into her hair.
“you still gonna make fun of me for doing stupid shit, right?” y/n chuckled.
“wouldn’t dream of stopping,” he smiled, placing a kiss onto the top of his head, “when you’re feeling better and after you’ve healed from that asshole, how about i take you out somewhere? like.. a date.”
“i’d love that.”
“the only asshole you’ll be seeing from now on is me.”
“buck, as romantic as that is, you realise how weird that sounds,” y/n laughed, pulling away slightly to look at his face.
“i didn’t mean.. no, i didn’t mean it like that! you little weirdo, get your head out the gutter!”
“my bad, my bad!” y/n laughed at the flustered man in front of her.
Warnings:My blog is 18+ and though there’s no smut in this piece, minors DNI. Domestic abuse, break up, humiliation, mutual pining, friends in love, drink driving, car accident, coma, chasing justice/vigilante attitudes, fairy tales, Disney, fluff, lots of angst, anger, guilt, happy ever afters
Prompt: Fairy tale
A/N: So this is my contribution to the 500 follower writing challenge hosted by @tom-whore-dleston It’s a new one for me because I’ve had to use a fairy tale for this one. So I’ve tried to use the fairy tale to feed into a modern situation and at the same time reflect that the same fairy tale has importance to the reader. Sleeping Beauty is an important one to me as the first feature length Disney cartoon I watched, and I was in awe of it.
This hasn’t been beta read and all of my mistakes are my own. Please feel free to like, comment and/or reblog as I look forward to feedback and interacting with people who choose to read my work. I appreciate you all. I hope you enjoy it.
She was Steve’s. The point being ‘was’. Where was he now as she lay in the hospital bed in a coma? She was Steve’s but he never really cared for her. He picked her as the perfect smoke screen and made everyone believe he was in love. She was Steve’s, it was the excuse that always stopped Bucky from admitting his true feelings for her. She was Steve’s, the line she repeated in her head like a mantra even though she didn’t love him, she loved someone else and was terrified of Steve. She was Steve’s until he decided it was right for him and Peggy to go public by breaking up with Y/N via a Snapchat post, not even a one-to-one message but a post of him and Peggy while saying ‘Y/N, I got myself a real woman’ and it was posted for all to see. She was Steve’s no longer and was fighting for her life after a drunk truck driver careered into her car.
Bucky hadn’t left her side, the symphony of beeps from various machines stopped the silence creeping in and forming negative thoughts and nightmares of worst possible outcomes in his mind. She couldn’t die, he couldn’t lose her. She was his safe haven in a world that had become darker than he’d ever anticipated. Nat and Sam walked into the room and sat with Bucky. Nat handed him a cup of coffee from the nearby coffee shop instead of getting the mud in a cup from the hospital vending machine. He accepted it gratefully with a swift nod and looked back over to Y/N. She looked like she was peacefully sleeping. Blissfully unaware of the situation she was in, you could be forgiven for thinking she was in a complete state of calm. Sam placed a comforting hand on Bucky’s shoulder.
“Buck, you’ve been here since the accident happened three days ago. You need to go back to the compound, get some sleep” he advised. Shrugging him off with a light scoff, he took Y/N’s hand in his, rubbing her fingers softly with his thumb.
“If she wakes up, I need to be here for her” he insisted.
“What good to her are you if you are too tired to function?” Sam spoke quietly.
“Sam’s right Bucky, you need to sleep. We’ll be here if she wakes up. Sam will call you straight away as well” Nat offered seeing the pain in Bucky’s eyes. The internal fight to stop tears flowing because she looked helpless and fragile.
“But I should be here” Bucky tried to push.
“I know she’s your best friend, but she’d understand that-”
“You don’t get it Sam, she’s not just my best friend, I love her Sam. I’m in love with her!” he kept his voice low, but it was strained as though he was arguing. Sam’s eyes panned. He was about to speak when Nat walked over to Bucky.
“Buck, listen to me, what would Y/N tell you to do?” she asked firmly.
“To… to go home and sleep,” he sounded defeated and shook his head, “fine, I’ll go” he conceded, “but you must call me instantly if she wakes up” he instructed. Nat agreed and sent him out to the waiting car to be taken home.
Nat sunk down on the chair in the corner of the hospital room. Sam was still processing Bucky’s words. How had he missed it?
“You know it was obvious right” Nat said laughing at Sam’s inability to realise Bucky’s feelings towards Y/N were deeper than he’d anticipated. “She’s in love with him too, but she thinks he doesn’t see her that way”
“She was with Steve though” Sam countered looking even more confused.
“No, he coerced her into a relationship where he was bullying and abusing her. The trouble is no one wanted to say or do anything to stop it except Bucky. Even I was at fault there. She needed us and we let her down. I mean don’t you remember the quiz night Tony held with us where we were in teams of two and had to answer questions about each other to see who really was a perfect match” she chuckled at the memory. Sam’s smile spread across his face as he recalled that night…
Tony sat back looking all smug as yet another duo failed to get more than 10 out 15 in the ‘How Well Do You Know Your Partner?’ game. In all fairness he was teamed with Pepper, but the others were teamed with friends. Bruce and Thor did pretty well achieving a solid 10, Wanda and Vision got 11 and Nat scored 11 with Clint. Sam was teamed with Rhodey and scored a 7. Originally Y/N wasn’t going to play. Steve was off on yet another ‘solo’ mission (a jaunt to Peggy’s) but everyone convinced her to take part and she agreed to work with Bucky, her best friend. She leaned into him, putting her face on his shoulder as she laughed uncontrollably at Peter scoring 5 with T’Challa. It was almost as bad as the 2 Y/N scored with Steve last time they played. Tony rubbed his hands together all excited as he sat forward.
“Y/N do you and Tin Man actually think you’ll beat mine and Pepper’s score of 13?” he was so confident. Y/N and Bucky looked at each other with a smile.
“We’ll give it a shot Tony. Friday has our answers and is ready to reveal them with each question asked”
“Let’s make it interesting” Tony beamed. Bucky looked at him with confusion.
“What do you have in mind?” Bucky quizzed.
“If you score higher than me and Pepper you will win two thousand dollars. If we have higher than you, then you and Y/N will be responsible for dinner for everyone for a whole week” he offered.
“You’re on” Y/N grinned.
Question after question was fired, each one was a correct answer. Question 10 came and went, then 11 and 12 all correct. Nat was enjoying her role as quizmaster for the couple and witnessing the faces on others as the responses kept coming back with a ‘ding’ from Friday.
“Question 13 – if going on a date, what physical preparation is made to show they expect sex?” Nat’s words were met with ‘ooohs’ and ‘aaahhhs’ knowing this was quite an intimate ask. Silence fell upon everyone as they looked on at Y/N and Bucky. They were deep in thought and glanced at each other. Bucky’s lips curled into a cocksure smile as Tony waved them off with a scoffing laugh thinking there was no way they’d equalise.
“When Bucky goes on a date and is hoping to have sex he puts on extra cologne, brightens his teeth and ensures he has brand new underwear that doesn’t look like it’s got that washed and owned for a while look” she revealed.
“Friday?” Nat called for clarification. Friday dinged again and showed Bucky’s written response that was almost word for word. Bucky now needed to respond with the right answer to get the 13th point.
“Y/N will wear black underwear” he answered simply, watching her blush. As Friday dinged yet again, Tony’s eyes widened in shock as some of the other Avengers were equally as surprised. This wasn’t necessarily something all best friends knew.
“Question 14 – what would you want your wedding song to be?” Nat questioned.
“Bucky would pick Moonlight Serenade by Glenn Miller” Y/N didn’t even waste time and her reaction was met with Bucky letting out a laugh as he pulled Y/N to him and placed a kiss on her forehead. Friday confirmed the answer and Bucky divulged Y/N’s being From This Moment by Shania Twain. Y/N’s grin was so bright knowing he’d got the answer. They got to the last question and were currently 14 for 14. Steve stormed in interrupting them and demanding Y/N go with him. He was shouting at her saying she was an embarrassment. Dragging her away from everyone, people heard Y/N begging Steve to stop hurting her wrist. Her bruises the next day were proof that he stopped hurting her wrist and hit her elsewhere leaving her with a black eye and bruised ribs. She didn’t spend time with the rest of the Avengers for the next few days. Bucky had caught a glimpse of her and had a confrontation with Steve which ended up in more bruises for Y/N. Bucky’s heart was heavy with guilt and pain. He loved her more than anything and this was killing him. What he didn’t realise is that every tear she shed, every prayer she made was to let her out of her hell with Steve so that she could find some way of spending more time with Bucky and telling him of her feelings. With each passing day, new strike and inky bruise, she feared the day would never come…
Bucky tried to sleep, he tossed and turned in his bed. He knew that he’d promised to rest but he couldn’t get his mind off Y/N. Lying on his back, he rested his forearm over his eyes. The thin white bedsheet clung to him like a second skin as it sat over his legs and waist. He was angry at Steve. Angry at himself and angry at the drunk driver who only came away with a few scratches and a fractured finger while Y/N was in a coma, had suffered a ruptured spleen and a broken leg. He hated seeing her in pain, any kind of pain. She’d been through enough at the hands of Steve. He remembered seeing the bright smile on her face when Steve broke up with her. He was furious that Steve did it in a way to humiliate Y/N, but she just grinned at Bucky. He was trying to hide his fury at Steve. Y/N’s smile melted his heart but what disintegrated his tension were the words she whispered when he hugged her. She simply stated ‘I’m finally free’. How could he not be happy for her when she was relieved to be free from the violent clutches of Steve. It made him think of how she spent that night. Everyone was rallying around her in absolute concern.
Y/N sat on the sofa in the community lounge just flicking through a magazine as Wanda and Nat came in and sat either side of her. She looked from side to side at the women who were like Cheshire cats with the way they were grinning at her.
“You should come out with us tonight” Wanda suggested.
“Why?” Y/N asked slowly.
“After Steve’s actions, you need to get out there, show him what he’s lost out on” Wanda was trying to ensure Y/N wasn’t going to crumble, worried that Steve may have had some emotional hold on her.
“Or just have a good old-fashioned night out with the girls” Nat chimed in trying to steer the conversation away from Steve. Y/N closed the magazine and put it on her lap as she sighed.
“Nat, Wand I love you both. I really do but I’m fine. All I want is a night in, just relaxing watching a movie or something in the knowledge that everything is my choice” she explained to them. Disappointment flashed on Wanda’s face while Nat accepted Y/N’s response and patted her hands supportively to let her know they were there if she needed them. As they left Y/N to it, Bucky entered the room and joined Y/N on the sofa, he put his arm around Y/N, and she put her head on his shoulder.
“So what’s the movie choice tonight sugar-plum?” he asked.
“You can pick it, or we can watch the game tonight. It’s the Ravens versus the Falcons and you know I’m a Ravens girl” she chuckled.
“Game it is, I’ll order the pizza” he informed her. It wasn’t long before Sam and Clint joined them and were cheering the Falcons. Bucky couldn’t help but taunt Sam as he had to pay Y/N fifty dollars when the Ravens won. The conversation among the four of them drifted to cartoons and Disney, with Clint declaring how sick he was of Frozen. Likewise, Sam was fed up with Toy Story as his youngest nephew seemed to love watching it over and over. They then started talking about their first Disney film. Bucky revealed it was Snow White and he took Rebecca to see it, he was fascinated by the animation while Rebecca was in love with the story of a hero saving the day. Sam divulged that his was the Fox and the Hound and that, as a kid, he was convinced that the Owl was voiced by his auntie. Clint expressed his love for Robin Hood and proceeded to sing the theme tune that Y/N and Sam joined in with, reminiscing over the classic. Y/N then sat back and told of her first experience watching a Disney cartoon. It was Sleeping Beauty. It remained a favourite of hers because she felt that Aurora and Prince Philip had been destined to be together. He saw her when she was a baby, then met her in the woods where they sang and danced together. It was a love at first sight kind of thing and then he risked his life to rescue her. Bucky intently listened observing every little gesture she made. He felt butterflies at seeing her so free, so happy and so involved in a group chat. The dark cloud that once hung over her had been lifted and this was the true Y/N shining in front of him. He knew in that moment he would have to tell her how he felt. He didn’t just love her as a friend, he had fallen helplessly in love with her. But as fate would have it, the day he was planning to tell her was the day he received the news of her car accident…
Nat and Sam had sat by Y/N’s bed, nothing had changed. The machines beeping were like harpies screeching as they fought to take the life of their victim. Sam hated sitting there and knowing nothing could be done. He checked his phone and looked over to Nat.
“The driver has been released on bail. He is claiming that he was drinking to numb the pain of betrayal and heartache and that Y/N was driving erratically as he hit her. Andy has sent me the details of the guy” Sam spat with disgust. Nat almost twitched at the news.
“When Bucky gets here, I have something to take care of that you might want in on” she informed him.
“Does it involve dealing with this asshole?” Sam raised his phone indicating the drunk driver.
“Time for you to learn the art of creative termination Sam. Sometimes it needs to be done” her icy tone was enough to scare most people. Coupled with the look of hate in her eyes, Sam knew there was no talking her out of it. She loved Y/N like a sister and seeing Y/N in the state she was in was killing Nat.
Bucky arrived at the hospital again, he looked refreshed but felt disheartened by the lack of news regarding Y/N’s progress. He watched Nat and Sam leave and pulled the chair right up to the bed. He sat down and clutched her hand in his and began to tell her the story of Sleeping Beauty in hope that she might wake up. The doctor had told him that talking to Y/N would help because studies showed coma patients could hear people talking to them. He felt his heart lurch as there was no real response. He knew what he had to try. He had thought about it non-stop on the way to the hospital. He got up and sat next to Y/N on the bed. Holding her hand in his, he took a deep breath as he gazed down at her. Even in her fragile state, she was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
“Y/N, I don’t know if you can hear this. I… I… I hope you can,” he stuttered. “The day you were brought in here I… I was planning to tell you something,” he took a deep breath as he paused. “You see, ever since I’ve been back from Wakanda, you’re the only person who really goes all out to make time for me. You have spent time getting to know me and have become my best friend. I can’t and don’t want to ever imagine a life without you in it,” tears pricked the corners of his eyes at the mere thought of her no longer being around. “I remember watching you talk about Sleeping Beauty; you were so carefree I just wanted to kiss you and tell you how much I love you. And that’s the thing Y/N, I’m in love with you” the lump in his throat could be heard as he could no longer stop rogue tears from rolling down his cheeks; he sniffled and tried to wipe his tears away before continuing to speak. “The way you bite your lip when nervous, the way you softly smile and tilt your head when you’re listening to me talk after a nightmare, the way you hug me and reassure me when I’m having a panic attack, the way you kneel down and talk to children putting yourself at their level to make them feel at ease, your never-ending compassion and the time you make for all of us. It’s all those little things and more that I love. I’m sorry I didn’t do more to protect you from Steve. If you wake up and if you’ll have me, I’ll spend the rest of our lives together showing you that you are my princess and how much I love you. Just please, please wake up. I need you Y/N” his tears flowed as he bared his soul to the unconscious woman.
He leant down and placed his lips on hers in a tender chaste kiss. As he sat up, he observed her. Nothing. He knew he was being irrational hoping it would make a difference but the romantic in him had to try. That’s when he felt it – a slight twitch of her fingers. It happened again and her eyelids began to move, immediately Bucky pressed the button to call for a nurse. Rushing in, the nurse saw what was happening and called for a doctor.
He paced the floor waiting outside her room. He tried not to get his hopes up. He’d read of several cases where a patient would seemingly wake up but end up having a fit before their heart would give out. He wasn’t one for praying but he prayed that this wasn’t the case. He began to overthink it all. What if she could hear him but not being able to respond would result in a said fit and heart failure? What if he’d just killed the woman he truly loved? His mind was ruminating over the same thoughts over and over until the doctor came out.
“Sergeant Barnes” he enquired to get his attention. Bucky rushed to him instantaneously. The doctor could see all the questions and fear in Bucky’s eyes that he was struggling to manifest into words. “Y/N is awake and is asking for you. Her voice is rather weak, be patient with her. Give her some time as she is trying to make sense of things. The nurse is making her comfortable. Is there anyone I need to call?” he asked as Bucky’s face was awash with happiness.
“I… erm Wilson, Sam Wilson or Natasha Romanoff” he fumbled with his words anxious to see Y/N. The doctor nodded at him and let him into Y/N’s room.
She was propped up against the headrest. She looked weak but as she saw Bucky, her sunshine smile lit up the room. He sat next to her on the bed facing her. Their gaze was locked, and she nodded at his unspoken question as to whether she was ok.
“You’re… you’re awake” his voice almost a whisper.
“Because of you. I heard you Buck, I felt the kiss and I love you too, so much. Whenever Steve would drag me away, I just wanted to be with you. Safe in your arms. You are my everything Bucky” she croaked. He clutched her hands and kissed her knuckles before leaning towards her and kissing her with restrained passion so that he wouldn’t hurt her given her current health status.
“I love you Sleeping Beauty” he beamed, the love in his eyes just radiating.
“I love you too Prince Charming” she responded in kind as Bucky promised her that he’d make sure they have their own happily ever after.
— Summary: If religion was the safe haven where Bucky found reasons to be alive and see the good in this world again, loving you was where he found the freedom to be more than just expectations once again. Human emotion, connection and need more than anything else. Also, devotion. Bucky already understood that one, but with you, it reached heights he never dreamt of before.
— Word count: 7.5k
— Warning(s):This work is intended for 18+ audiences. Minors, DNI. Explicit depictions of sex. Religious theme. Smut. I do not allow for my work to be copied, translated, or reuploaded on any other platform.This whole monstrosity is @buckspumpkin ’s fault <3
From the moment he met her to the moment they befriended.
Every step of the way, every interaction, smile, deep conversation outside the church, random encounters in the city—Bucky knew it. He was aware of it, and yet, he did it anyway. He fell for the power in your voice, for the mind behind those eyes, for the soft and electrifying touch of your hands. Bucky was presented with temptation and he fought it until he longer wanted to. Until all that was left inside of him was desire, longing, and need. Temptation won, but only because there was no game anymore: Bucky was presented with you in his life, and for the first time in many long years, his life expanded once again.
From the moment Laura brought you to the Church’s congregation party for the holidays and introduced you, he knew he should stay away.
It was the eyes.
Laura pointed at you, and said, “Father, this is Y/n, my best friend who I’m always talking about.”
He had been polite back then. Bit down on his usual winning smile when meeting new people because something about the glint in your eyes hooked a piece of his chest when they met his.
Bucky had given you the polite smile, and said. “I’ve heard quite a lot about you. Nice to meet you, I’m Father James.”
He extended his hand, which you shook without breaking eye contact.
Then, you said: “Nice to meet you, Father,” and Bucky’s insides burned despite the cold weather surrounding him.
That day, he couldn’t escape fast enough.
You were a friend of one of his congregates, so there was no way he could be rude, but every time he glanced in the direction where you were, talking and smiling with other people who frequented the church, your eyes met his and Bucky felt like a deer caught in the headlines.
An animal in the jungle, like one of his favorite documentaries—he suddenly understood the prey when they felt the eyes of tigers and lions on them.
Frozen.
Bucky’s throat felt dry every time you did it. You looked at him over the rim of your cup, and it was like your eyes searched for something, and they could see beyond his cassock and coat.
Whatever you were looking for, Bucky wanted no part in helping you find out.
She’ll be gone by the end of the day, he thought all night long. There’s no need to worry.
If only he knew.
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It was a fun discovery to learn that while you believed in nothing, you believed in everything at the same time.
It took Bucky three months of meeting you outside the Church when you picked up Laura from the masses and having brief, but sweet exchanges with you to accept the fact that you were a really nice person.
Funny, intelligent, sweet.
He stopped escaping whenever you were around. Stopped running away whenever Laura brought you by force to one of the fairs or events, and surrendered with ease to the reality of it all: apart from your non-belief, you seemed like someone he’d be close friends with.
Which is where you two ended up after he found you drunk at the city square and walked you home.
That was the first conversation ice-breaker. And from then on, Bucky simply accepted you.
Which meant you know popped up outside the church with good beer and the newest thing you were reading about regarding space to talk to him.
For those visits, you usually showed up at the end of the day, after your work hours. You stayed for a couple of hours talking to him about nonsensical things until a real topic was approached and you two shared things that Bucky forgot he thought about sometimes.
“You know, these are starting to feel like my own confessional,” he offered.
You chuckled, hiding behind your beer. He still saw the way your nose scrunched. “I don’t know if that’s supposed to be a compliment or not.”
“It is!” He laughed. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Why wouldn’t—Father. C'mon. Those things are creepy as hell.”
“First of all: blasphemy. Second of all—stop laughing, I’m serious. That was very blasphemous.” He adored listening to your silly laughter. “And second of all: they are not creepy. They’re just… methodic.”
“Yeah, the method being ‘scare people until they talk’. I’ll give it to the Church: clever, at least.”
He’s thinking about that day and the things you said about the hour of Twilight when he hears the doorbell.
Bucky halts everything he’s doing.
It couldn’t be you.
He looks at the clock—00:52.
Fuck.
What were you doing here?
This week had been hell, both figuratively and literally.
The tragedy that happened in the city and the heartache that followed everyone like a dark cloud ended up inside his church, as darkness usually does. It’s where it goes to be diluted, but being the tool of change as he is, Bucky’s the one who ends up feeling like a truck ran over his back.
Itcouldn’t be you.
Bucky heard from Laura about how pissed off you were about everything. 'Religious people and their ways of meddling in people’s lives and their bodies and their ways of handling life’, as you claimed, and everything wrong attached to it.
He hadn’t seen you around the city all week long.
“James Buchanan!”
That is definitely your voice.
Bucky swears under his breath, puts on the first hoodie he sees, and doesn’t even bother checking on his reflection to know he looks like shit.
He’s tipsy and tired, and there’s no need to bother putting out his tobacco before he goes downstairs to open the back door for you.
Out of all the people who could see him in this state, you’d be the last one to judge him.
When he opens the door, he sees you’re on the same boat as he is.
Tired, and trying to cope.
He sighs, opening the door wider. “Thought you had eloped town by now.”
“I unfortunately am stuck to this hell hole.”
Turning around, he sees you taking off your boots and placing them on the shoe rack.
“Put on a slipper, it’s still wet outside,” he tells you. “I was going to bed.”
Behind him, he hears the sound of you scoffing. “No, you weren’t.”
“Yes, I was,” he argues.
What follows is silence, and Bucky sighs. You know him too well.
He opens the door that leads to his small herbs garden outside where two chairs are already placed next to each other and waits for you to make yourself at home.
He wonders if it’s one of thosedays.
“You know… you’re really nice to talk to, Father James.”
He kind of hated when you called him that. It felt teasing. Laced in the taste of wine.
“Do you?”
“I do. You don’t shy away from answering questions. People nowadays don’t wanna have conversations. It’s exhausting. You, though—you… think about it. Answer me. I can talk without feeling like I’m being judged—”
“Oh, sometimes you definitely are.”
He likes your laughter. The more it sounds like this—free and caught off guard, the more delicious it is.
“I’ll take your word for it.That was just me wanting to thank you for being a nice ear, I guess.”
“The same goes for you.”
It’s becoming more and more common for Bucky to be stuck in a memory of you before reality calls him back to the moment.
The door clicks behind him and he looks over his shoulder to see you holding two beers, a cigarette in one hand, and the tiredness in your shoulders.
Dropping your body to the chair next to his, you hand him the beer and then light up your cigarette.
For a while, all you two do is sit there sharing sips of your drinks and looking at the brick wall ahead of you. Bucky’s hyper-aware of you and your movements, as always, and notices from the corner of his eyes when you start distracting yourself with the new flowers in his garden.
It’s when he sees a single tear running down your cheek that his body comes alive.
Bucky feels alert in a second.
Sick to his stomach.
He wants to reach out and clean the tear from your cheek, but it wouldn’t take away the pain that let it fall.
He waits, though, because he knows you wouldn’t be here unless you wanted to talk about it.
Then it hits him—she trusts me.
He has to swallow that pill down with large gulps because it would get stuck in his throat otherwise.
He remembers as clear as day hearing you say how hard it was for you to trust people. To let people in.
“Sometimes, I barely want most people in this town to know I’m a human being. The less they see of me the better, you know? They’re just—fucking vultures. Waiting for a sign of weakness to start roaming your body and getting to pick it apart.”
Through the sips of his beer, Bucky wonders how many people have seen you cry other than him.
You clear his throat next to him, and all thoughts are vacant from his mind.
He turns his head to you, attention solely focused.
“Did you do a mass?” You ask, voice rough as sandpaper.
You’re questioning whether the people who died got a mass this week. Bucky has to breathe through the ’why do you ask, why, but WHY’ and simply answers. “I did, yeah.”
You nod, sniffle and clear your face in your sleeve. “Cool. That’s good.”
Bucky feels he’ll puke if he doesn’t get a little more than that, so he takes a deep breath and reminds himself that he can be brave. “There’ll be a lantern reunion at the lake.”
You turn to him, eyes red and vulnerable, and Bucky has to grip tighter on the can to stop himself from cleaning your tear-stained cheeks once again. “A what?”
“A lantern reunion. It was Laura’s idea, actually,” your friend was a blessing to his congregation, and it made Bucky smile a little to think so. “People from the congregation will go in a fortnight to the city lake a little further in the mountains and light up little candles in their names. Push it into the lake as sort of a goodbye and a desire for good passage.”
“Into heaven?” you ask, smiling sarcastically.
Bucky’s gotten so used to it that it doesn’t even rattle him anymore.
“Into anywhere,” he answers.
The sarcasm drops from your face like rain does out of nowhere from the sky, and you sigh. “That’s nice.”
“Is it?”
“It is.” You take a sip, and Bucky feels it in his chest the blow before it comes. “Naya would’ve loved it. Probably reminded her of Tangled or something like that.”
The name hits clear as day as part of the list Bucky read on Sunday.
“Was she a friend?” He asks.
You shake your head. “Goddaughter.”
Your jawline is sharper than ever before. Razor-sharp. Bucky realizes when he pays attention to more than just your eyes, the usual lovely, deep, and telling eyes, that the rest of your face lacks any of your kindness and softness—you’re angry. Properly raging, he imagines.
It’s the first time he’s seen the emotion on you, and it rattles something in the attics of Bucky’s brain.
Ghosts of his past, of guns, violence, and the range that humans could go to.
“Tell me about her,” the words fall from his lips, and Bucky feels like prey once more when your eyes snap back to him. “If you want to, of course. I—I’d like to hear it.”
For a moment, you only watch him, eyes searching all over his face.
“Why?” You ask.
Bucky shrugs his shoulder, sipping a little more. “Because… offering my condolences won’t do any good, although you do have them. And talking about the occurrence serves no purpose, either.” Both of those options are weak at best. “Hearing about who your goddaughter was, on the other hand, sounds nice.” He wonders how close you two were. Was she the daughter of a best friend? Bucky knew you had no sisters. “D'you have sisters?” He asks to confirm. “I thought you didn’t.”
The ghost of a real smile appears on your face. “I don’t.”
“Right.”
“She's—was… she was my best friend’s daughter. Hugh.” The smile turns more real than ghost-like. “He and I have been friends since middle school.”
Wow. That’s longer than Bucky’s been in this town. “That is a long time.”
“Notthat long, c'mon Father. Don’t call me old.”
Bucky laughs. “You’re not a sweet summer child, that’s for sure.”
“Wow!” You say, joining him in laughter.
“Your generation is a mystery to me, I’ll tell you that.”
“Ugh—there you go again with 'your generation’. You’re not that much older than me, Father,” you give him a pointed look.
Bucky hums. “I beg to differ. There’s more than a decade bridging this,” he gestures between you and him.
“Fine,old man. Whatever you say,” you chuckle, and sip the rest of your beer, crushing the can in your hands. “Anyway. Hugh’s not usually here—he works two towns over most of the time.”
“Is he married?” He asks out of curiosity.
You shake your head. “Nope. Naya’s mom was a fling.”
“Got it.” From that, he deduced you had a lot to do with the girl while growing up. “Was she a lot like you?”
You laugh. “A mix of Hugh and me, yeah. I spoiled her quite a lot.”
Bucky smiles. “Tell me more.”
And you do.
Bucky listens to you tell him about Naya, and she comes to life inside his mind.
He saw the picture of everyone involved, but now he can see the glint she had in her eyes, the quirks you mention, the passions in her heart.
He does his best to stay present in the conversation, letting go of any pain related to the tragedy in order to give you a good ear as you mentioned he has.
It hurts almost as much as if he was thinking about it all.
The oscillations in your smile between heartbroken and sad, and heartfelt. He feels the changes like shrapnel under his skin.
After a few more beers, the talk changes every now and then. From kids to raising them without parents, to the dangers surrounding newer generations—like always, talking to you is a rollercoaster of topics, and Bucky thinks he’s done a good job of taking your mind out of the dark places it was.
Until you stop, look at the wall in front of you again, and the tears start streaming down again.
Bucky’s heart breaks all over the wet ground, getting dirt all over the pieces.
He’s closing the distance between your bodies before he thinks better of it.
His arms wrap around your shoulders and you bury your face in his chest, letting go of your pain in the safe space of his arms.
Bucky lets you cry for as long as you need to, and when the quiet sobs diminish to only your sniffling, he still holds you close.
“I feel… like barbed wire. I don’t know.” Your voice is thick with emotion, and Bucky squeezes around you subconsciously. “There’s so much rage inside me, Buck.”
“That’s okay. It’s the normal thing to fill you.”
“You wouldn’t say that if you knew all the things I’m thinking. I—I’m not the best person ever, but the things I’d do right now…”
Bucky shakes his head. You’re human, he thinks. “You’re a good person even with those thoughts.”
“You don’t know that,” you argued.
“I do, though,” Bucky counters. “All the things you want are a response, not an initiative. That’s how I know.”
At that, you stay in silence. Bucky feels you moving your head—before, you had your forehead resting against his chest, but now you move your head to the side and lay your cheeks against him, making yourself comfortable.
“You’d judge me, though,” your voice is barely above a whisper. “They’re horrible things.”
Bucky scoffs. “I’ve done my fair share of horrible things in life, Y/n. I’ll never be in any position to truly judge someone else,” he tells you.
Then it hits him—I trust her too.
“I don’t believe that,” you whisper.
“It’s the truth.” Bucky’s past is his own, but he allows you to have this. “I was a tool for a long time, one that did many wrong things. I hardly think that you wanting to kill the people who did this with your bare hands is something so atrocious.”
“I’d think you’d judge upon murder, Father.”
“Not my place to do so,” and if he was being honest with himself, never would be. The things he believed in were symbolic.
“Is this what a confessional feels like?” you ask with a chuckle.
Bucky rests his head on top of yours. “It’s the idea.”
“I like it. It’s not so bad.” You take a deep breath, and Bucky feels it.
I like it too, he thinks. Why does it feel mutual?
“D'you want some food?” he asks. He needs something to do with his hands that doesn’t involve holding you.
It takes you a moment to answer. “Sure.” You pull your head back a few inches to look up at him, and the smile he sees in your eyes takes his breath away. “Thanks, Father.”
This feels as holy as any of my prayers.
Bucky feels dizzy.
“Thanks for trusting me,” he answers, and then lets you go. His arms feel empty and cold the minute they leave your frame. “C'mon. I’ll make us sandwiches.”
“That’s not food,” you argue behind him.
“It is in this house,” he rolls his eyes, knowing you’re just doing it to tease him. “Ungrateful youth, I swear.”
“I’m not being ungrateful, I’m being factual. You know, back during the Roman Empire in Grece, they…”
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The night of grief changes nothing and everything at the same time.
Bucky knew you were a person beneath all the exterior of perfection, but it takes seeing you cry for him to realize why he deemed everything he saw to be that way—he saw beauty even in your imperfections. He met you by chance, befriended you by fate, and because the Universe wrote you and him to be this way, something about your existence read as beautiful from top to bottom. Breathtaking. It never occurred to him that he’d find something else to look at and see unadulterated and raw light, but there you were. Whether it was talking to friends, working, running past him at eight in the morning, or crying in his arms, the aura around you glowed in holy light, and Bucky had only one night of absolute existential crisis before acceptance washed over him.
He might have found his peace in god, but the god he believed in never excluded the Nirvana existing in love.
Accepting things as they were hurt much less.
Everything about him felt holy.
The whole month you stayed away from him, that’s all you could think about.
Bucky felt holy. His blue eyes on you, the gentleness in his words, and the shy cocking of his neck whenever he was under the light of a compliment—holy, holy, holy.
That’s why you hated how much you desired to corrupt all the purity within every thought permeated by him.
It made you a little sick at first. Desiring him and still talking to him normally as if you didn’t touch yourself to thoughts of Bucky fucking you and stretching you around his cock while filth dripping from his lips was a hard task, but no one could say you were one to shy away from a challenge.
All of that goes away when he cooks for you.
Theshame in wanting him.
From that day on, you allow your mind to drift wherever it pleases.
To his words, his eyes, his lips, the feeling of how strong his arms were — how did I miss that, what is that damn black thing hiding, why does it feel so warm and firm, oh my god — and anything in between. His voice. The way he curses under his breath as if Jesus is not listening if he talks low enough. How much lower his voice can go.
Letting all those thoughts roam free is both a blessing and a curse.
When you see him the day following a dream where Bucky did all the things your mind wanted him to and a bit more, you realize where the curse part walks in.
It’shard looking him in the eye when you have vivid images of his hand gripping your neck. It’s sad that all you have is images, but they’re more than enough to make you take a step back every now and then.
You can’t get wet if you don’t get a whiff of his perfume.
Can’t feel embarrassed and hot all over if he doesn’t make one of his silly jokes under his breath.
It takes you a few weeks of escaping him here and there before you receive it, at 11:50 pm on a Monday night:
What would you say if I told you I need my confessional bubble?
The message stares at you, and you stare back.
The feeling of his hug around you comes to you like the scent of someone being dragged by the wind.
Where are you?
The church. I was organizing some stuff. Come over?
Not one to say no to him, you drive there with your heart beating in your palms and the familiar knot on your throat of someone haunted by their own thoughts.
At the church, you find Bucky with a glass in his hands and all the pictures and remains of the shrines packed in one corner.
“Evening, Father.”
Bucky turns around sharply, and you see that he’s not drunk nor tipsy yet. His look is sober, and his eyes lighten in color when they see you.
“Hey.” He points to the stuff on the floor. “I’m gonna put this in the back. I’ll be back in a minute—you’re very fast. How fast did you drive?”
Probablytoo fast because I was anxious. “Maybe you’re just slow, Father James.”
Bucky’s eyes narrow, and your mind goes oh-oh. He looks at you with narrowing eyes, but then the mirth is back on his face. “Ha ha.” He picks up the boxes. “I’ll be back.”
“Won’t I burn in your absence?” You call after him, trying to contain your smile.
Bucky looks over his shoulder just so you can see him rolling his eyes.
You chuckle. Was there even a need to be nervous?
This is Bucky.
James.Father James. He’s a good guy, and a great friend, and a pretty funny person for someone who is so mysterious.
In his absence, you start walking aimlessly through the church.
You’re here very rarely. Paying attention to the details of it is not the first thing in your mind but, with nothing to do, you notice all the beauty in the place: the colorful glasses, how polished and shiny the wood benches and every other wood surface looks, and then it catches your eyes.
On the far right corner, close to the altar, there it is.
The confessional.
You’re walking to it before you notice what you’re doing.
It’s bigger than you expected.
Your hand comes up to touch the wood and its patterns—the velvet drape which closes one of the sides is blood red, and you raise both eyebrows at it.
Gorgeous.
The other side is closed with a wooden door, though. You imagine it’s where the priest enters, and because you’re friends with the one who runs this church, you let yourself in.
The space is big enough to fit two adults if they’re squeezed close together.
You take a seat, looking over the side where you can see very little from the open spots in the wood.
Then, you hear his footsteps coming back out there.
“Y/n?” He calls out, sounding confused.
You think about coming out, but then…
Confessional bubble.
You open the door minimally, put only your hand outside, and wave. “Here,” you singsong.
There’s a second of silence in which you wonder if Bucky is genuinely offended for the first time about something you’re doing, but then you hear his laughter approaching.
You hear his body passing through the drapes and sitting next to you.
“Not where I’d expect to find you,” he says from the other side.
It’s with the first sentence that you realize what a terrible, miscalculated, poor idea this was.
Your senses go from 0 to 100 in a second. They’re all tunneled to his voice, and you can smell his perfume permeating the small space.
“Y/n?”
“I was curious,” you answer. Your voice is low, and you swallow down the nervousness. It should be fine. What could go wrong? “Plus… this seems like a cool bubble.”
“I told you it was, you never trusted me in that,” he answers.
You chuckle. “I didn’t know about all the velvet.” And the stripping of your senses. God, I feel dizzy.
“It’s charming, isn’t it?”
You are, your traitorous mind replies. “Yup.” You take a deep through your mouth and let it out slowly. “What was in your mind, young padawan?”
Bucky laughs. “Wrong religion.”
“Right, my bad—what’s in your mind, my sheep?”
“You’re not so bad at this.”
“And you’re great at deflecting,” you bite back, smiling already. Your body relaxes on its seat, and you start picking on your t-shirt. “I thought you wanted to talk.”
“I did.” Bucky hums. “Didn’t think you wanted to, though.”
What?“What?”
“I was gonna ask you to go grab a bite with me so I could hear how you’ve been doing these past couple of weeks. I haven’t seen much of you,” his voice sounds a little small, and you hate yourself for a second. “I imagine you’re busy.”
Does trying to get rid of thoughts of you naked count as busy?
You bite your bottom lip nervously. “Not that busy,” you reply. “Just… processing.”
“Right. I thought about that too,” he says. Bucky takes a deep breath and you can hear that too. “I just… missed your company.”
You smile at that. “Awn. Thanks, Buck. I missed you too.”
“Did you?”
“Of course,” you say. “You know I like company better than most. More than, like, 99% of this town, for sure.”
“I’m flattered,” he chuckles. “I thought I did something wrong, that’s all. I—you’d tell me if I had, right?”
That ties knots inside your brain. Your neurons seem to clash with each other, and you look from side to side trying to find out if that was a joke.
“What could you possibly have done to me?” You ask with laughter.
“Dunno.” Bucky seems to be thinking, so you wait. “I can be annoying sometimes.”
“Have you met me?”
He laughs again. “You’re peculiar.”
“Most people go for 'annoying’.”
“Most people are pussies,” he replies back so quickly that you burst out laughing.
“Father James!” You tell him in a reprehending tone. “This is not the place for such language.”
“I think you’ll find out that we’re in the only place of holy grounds where you can say whatever the fuck you want,” he chuckles.
“Is that so?”
You can almost see him shrugging his shoulders. “It’s how I always felt.”
“Cool. This is the blind spot, then?”
“Exactly.” Bucky seems to be tapping on the wood, and you recognize his nervous tick. “Maybe you can use the blind spot to tell me why you’ve been avoiding me, then.”
Shit.
The silence is as much of a confession as you trying to play it dumb would be.
“Y/n…”
You hate how he makes your name sounds like a plea.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” you tell him. “I swear.”
There’s a heartbeat of silence, and Bucky seems to believe you. “Okay.” The sound of a thud tells you he rested his head against the wall at the back, and you do the same. “So… did something happen? To you, I mean.”
Yeah, you did.
Thinking that’s not the reply he wants, you hum thoughtfully. “I’m… trying to work with life’s limitations.”
There’s another moment of quiet, and then Bucky snorts. “That was vague as shit, Y/n.”
“It’s the truth!” you laugh.
“I know it is, but it doesn’t explain anything,” he counters. “What limitations?”
How do I answer this? How do I tell him it’s him without putting him under the spotlight? I don’t wanna lose you, Bucky. I like what we have. I like this.
You like him.
“No judgments. Remember?” He asks.
Fuck. Fine, here goes nothing, you think. “I… have been thinking a lot. About someone. In ways that I’m not sure this person would want me to.”
Out of all the silences, this is the heaviest one.
You hear him breathing in deep, and it feels like his body has strings attached to yours.
“You’re insecure about having… feelings for this person?” His voice is rough. Carefully curated out of any emotions.
You realize you’re speaking to Father James rather than Bucky.
“Kinda,” you reply, surprised that you don’t care about the switch in roles.
“Why would they be bothered?”
The million-dollar questions.
Your palms are sweating. Your body has the low humming of when blood is pumping everywhere at a higher speed, and all the anxiety you had when you first saw his message rushes back.
“'Cause I’m pretty sure they’d view it as… something bad,” you reply.
“Feelings are never bad.”
“No?”
“No. They’re natural. The person might not want them, but if they view them as bad, that means they’re not worthy of it.”
“No—what I meant is—maybe they would feel bad about being on the receiving end of it.”
“Again, that makes no sense. Why would they be offended by it?”
“I don’t know. 'Cause they don’t want me?”
“That’s their loss. Still doesn’t mean your feelings are bad. They could be unreciprocated, but never bad.”
“Maybe that’s what I’m scared of,” you confess. Fuck, this thing works. “I don’t wanna face the fact that it could never be mutual.”
“Thatis scary,” he whispers. You still hear it.
“Yeah.”
“You’ll never know, though. Unless you tell them, you can’t know if it is or not.”
You laugh, humorlessly. “I don’t think I need to. Not for this.”
“Why not?” asks Bucky.
“Because the chances of him wanting me or anything are slim to none.”
“I find that hard to be true, Y/n.”
“What percentage of priests lead a personal life outside their calling, Father James?”
The question comes out breathless and it finishes the job of setting your body on fire.
On the other side, the silence is deafening. You can’t see him, but your mind paints the picture easily: Bucky standing there, frozen in his spot as the realization dawns on him.
Then, his reply comes and what was left of your body turns to dust.
“A low percentage. But some of us do.”
You have to bite your bottom lip to swallow a whine. His name still comes out. “Bucky.”
“You’ve been thinking about me all this time and you thought I would be upset about it?” He sounds breathless. Your body is not only alive now, but it’s also starting to respond to the drop in his voice.
“They’re not very holy thoughts,” you chuckle humorlessly.
“Tell me.”
Two words and your legs constrict against one another. Your core feels like a furnace, heating up more and more by the second.
“I… are you serious?”
“Very.” Bucky sounds as affected as you. “Tell me what thoughts were so bad they drove you away from me.”
“I… I had dreams.” You want to touch yourself so badly that you start squirming in your seat. “About you.”
All he does is hum in reply.
“You kissed me. And then… you told me I was going to accept all that you wanted to give me. And I said yes. So you started to get… more—of me. You took off my clothes. And said you needed to let out some… steam. To let out some things that have been inside of you.”
There, your words were cut short.
The images of Bucky kneeling in front of you and eating you out like he never had a meal before in his life.
“Go on,” his voice breaks through the smoke.
It sounds like an order.
Your body shudders, and you try to grip on reality before the dreams take over. “You ate me out.” The whisper sounds louder than any of his sermons you had the pleasure of hearing. “And…” I can’t say it. I can’t. You can feel the wetness dripping to your panties, and you have to sit on top of your hands to stop them from starting to roam your body.
“Finish it.”
Where did he learn to command people like that?
“I asked to do the same.” How could you not? All you wanted was to choke on the weight of Bucky on your tongue. “And then you fucked me. Slowly. And… kept telling me about how long it had been. How good it felt to stretch me out.” Why am I going into details? You whimper. “Bucky.”
“Is that why you were away? You dreamt about me being inside of you and that’s it—your brain stopped working around me?”
“I got off to those dreams too many times to not think about them when I saw you.”
“Fuck.” Bucky must move next to you because you hear the sound of his clothes ruffling. “You touched yourself thinking about them?”
“Yeah.”
You hear his breath intake, and the next sound drops your heart to your feet.
Bucky gets up, the drapes ruffle and then, the door of the confessional is opening.
The sight of Bucky standing tall over you with his black t-shirt tucked inside his pants and the tent of his dick straining against his slacks makes your mouth dry before it starts to water.
“Show me,” says Bucky. Then he drops to his knees in front of you, reaches both hands to your knees, and places them there. He looks up into your eyes to ask, “Can I?” and you nod, dumbly and shaking, as Bucky spreads your knees open. You’re wearing loose pants, and his hands go further up to their hem so he can pull them down.
Allowing him to leave you in nothing but your panties feels like a fever dream.
With your pants pooling in your ankles, Bucky lets hands drag on the skin of your legs and thighs.
“You’re right,” he says. “It’s been years.” His hands reach your waist, and your shaking comes to a halt with the firmness that they touch your pelvis bones. “And yet, I think I’ve thought more about pleasure and connection these past months than I did my whole life.” Bucky moves his body closer until he’s nestled between your legs, and when his head inches closer to your cunt you realize what he’s about to do, whining at the thought. “I dreamt about this, too.”
He presses his nose on the hood of your pussy, inhaling deeply and making your legs turn from solid to liquid.
Bucky runs his nose there, and when he hums against your core, you feel it inside of you. “You smell so fucking good, dove.”
“Oh,god.”
Bucky gropes your ass and shakes his head. “No. Forgot my name already?”
“James, please. Please,” you whine, your legs coming up to his shoulders.
He lets you, helping your legs to secure around his neck, and when you look down and see he’s smiling, you know you’re fucked.
“It’s been a while, so let me take my time. I think I still remember how to do this,” Bucky says.
Then, he pushes your panties to the side and groans out loud.
“So fucking wet for me. Shit.” He pushes his nose again, getting it wet with your slick. “Fuck,” he dives in.
Bucky’s tongue gives gentle licks against your clit, as if savoring it first.
When he feels your legs spreading wider and he has more room to work with, he truly starts his job. His tongue licks on your folds, then dips from the bottom all the way up, licking a stripe across your cunt before his mouth attaches itself to your clit.
Bucky sucks on the hard nub with his tongue, alternating between slow and hard-pressured jabs to quick flicks of his tongue from side to side.
Your hands are covering your mouth to stop the screams from coming out.
He slurps on the slick and the more the works his tongue on your clit and then pushes down to your open cunt, the wetter you get.
Time ceases to exist with Bucky knelt between your legs.
He goes slow, then fast, then very slow just to hear your whines getting louder. He laughs in your pussy, and the vibrations crawl up inside of you.
At one point he looks up and with a hard grope on the back of your thighs gets your attention on him again.
His beard is glistening, wet. He’s smiling like he’s seeing something funny for the first time in ages, and when he asks, “Do you like penetration?” as if he doesn’t know the answer, you feel like crying.
“Please.”
He takes pity on you. “It’s okay, dove.” Bucky’s right hand leaves your legs and his fingers join his mouth between your legs. He coats his fingers in your slick before he pushes the middle one all the way in, slowly at first, then he removes it all the way and pushes back in with his tongue.
“Bucky!”
“Hmhm,” he hums against your pussy. “Is this what you dreamt of, dove?” He asks before latching onto you again and sucking on your clit like it’s a lollipop.
The coil in your lower stomach seems like a rubber band ready to snap, but you need more.
“Bucky. Bucky,” you call.
“Hm?”
“I wanna cum with you inside me. Please?”
Bucky’s hand squeezes involuntarily on your leg. He looks up and kisses your inner thigh. “You do?”
“Please.”
“Will you let me take you for a bite afterward since I couldn’t help myself and I’m doing everything backward?” He asks, already getting up.
You nod a bit desperately. “I’ll let you bite anything, just—please.”
He laughs. “Get up.”
You do, and it’s a tight squeeze to switch places with him, but you two manage. Bucky sits on the place you sat and unbuttons his pants, pulling out his cock from the confine of his briefs.
You step out of your pants and sit on his lap, trying to keep all the feelings daring to pool out inside while you feel like everything about you is already stripped bare in front of him.
“You sure you want this, yeah?” I asked.
At that moment, Bucky pulls you close by his waist. It’s almost easy (keyword being almost) to ignore the outline of his hard cock between your legs when he’s holding your face like this.
There’s barely any light illuminating the inside of the confessional, but there is enough for you to see him glowing. Glistening. Smiling like he’s watching something unfold.
He holds your face in his hand and pulls you in for a kiss.
I hadn’t kissed him yet.
Bucky kisses you with slow, soft tenderness at first.
It’s almost his way of saying he means everything—he means this, and he means what he said about being a part of the cleric who still allows themselves to have a life outside their work.
When his tongue opens up your mouth sinfully, that’s when you feel him twitch underneath you.
His arm around your waist pulls you even closer, and you get him. You’d want to merge with him right now if you could.
“Put me inside you,” he pulls back his face only a few inches to say those words, then dives in for another kiss.
Your mind is too dizzy with everything that is James to do anything but obey.
You reach beneath you to hold his cock in your hands and guide it to your entrance.
Perhaps you should care that none of you discussed the important things you should have before you let him inside you, raw and deep like this, but all you want is this:
Feeling him stretch you out.
When his tips fit and you can let go, both of you groan at the same time. He’s big.
He’s thick, and he’s leaking, and when the tip pushes in, gliding easy with how wet you are, you have to pull back from his kiss so you can breathe.
Bucky groans louder and hides his face in the crook of your shoulder.
“You’re big,” you whisper, sliding down further until he’s bottomed out. “Oh my…” can’t call out for Jesus, but you’re still shaking and finding a new reason to worship right there and then. You might be drunk on desire, or drunk on how high Bucky made you by eating you out, or how close you were to cumming before he made you get up. Maybe all of the above. “Father James—feels so good.”
The slap comes as a surprise, but the sting and your scream are both pleasurable.
“Don’t call me that again,” he growls. He bites your neck, and moves his hip for the first time.
“Why not,” you whine. It feels so good. You feel so full. “Feel so full, Bucky.”
“I know, dove.” He bucks his hip upwards, thrusting deep and slow. “You’re so fucking tight,” his voice is strained, and you pull his face back to yours, cupping his neck. With his eyes on yours, Bucky’s face softens. “Feels good?” He asks with another pointed thurst.
You nod, riding him in the same rhythm as his thrusts. “Hmhm.”
“You look beautiful on top of me,” he mutters, kissing your chin, you cheeks, and your eyelids, each kiss pointed with another deep thrust.
“We’re gonna do this again, right?”
Bucky hums, and thrusts harder. FUCK.
“Ah, there it is,” he mutters, as if talking to himself. “Was looking for that.” He thrusts again, confirming to see if he’s found your g spot. The way you clench and moan his name are enough of an answer. “We’ll do this many more times. I just—need—fuck, need to do this proper.” Bucky pins your hips in place and takes over the movements. “Shouldn’t be fucking you, dove. Not here, not like this.”
“I’mso fucking wet, Buck,” you cry. “You wouldn’t let me go home to get off thinkin'—oh—about you—fuck, right there;”
“I wouldn’t?”
“Bucky.” It’s louder than before. Both a moan and a prayer.
His thrusts become more erratic, and Bucky’s own moans and prayers start sounding much like yours.
So tight, dove. Fucking made for me. Stop clenching your pussy, Y/n, fuck. I’m gonna fill you up, d'you want that? Hm?
“Don’t pull out,” you whine.
“No?”
“No.” You shake your head. He should, your mind says. I don’t care, your body responds, hips going harder to meet his harsh thrusts.
“Want to feel me leaking out of you?”
Fucking hell. Where was this holy mouth hidden? “Yes!”
“Say it,” Bucky’s grunting, and his forehead is sparkling with sweat, and you feel the sweat dripping down your back.
“Wanna feel you dripping out of me, Buck.”
“Fucking—Y/n, I’m gonna cum. Are you close, dove?” He holds you by the neck, and brings your mouth to his. “Tell me how to make you cum. Tell me.”
“Hard. Deep.”
Bucky’s a good listener anywhere. He pins your hip in one place, buries himself as deep as he can go inside of you and mutters about how good it is to feel your cunt stretching out around his cock, then pistons his hips in place just like that, hitting that spot inside of you so mercilessly that you’re excused to scream as much as you do.
When you yell that you’re gonna cum, all he says is, “Please. Please, dove. Show me. Cum for me. Cum only for me, Y/n.”
With another scream that leaves your throat aching, you feel your walls convulsing and your legs shaking as an orgasm knocks you out.
Bucky cums by muffling his own screams in your neck, and you feel the warmth of him spilling inside of you.
If there were any ways for you to not surrender and devote to him, they’re all burned and gone.
This feels like the beginning of all things holy for you.
Summary:this is my entry for @pellucid-constellations ’s #loveletterswritingchallenge i sincerely enjoyed writing this, it was so much of fun to come up with a story that left me all fuzzy and happy.
Pairing:bestfriend!bucky x plus size female!reader (set in an AU)
Warnings: fluff, angst, recount of bullying comments experienced by the reader, mentions of fatphobic comments, fluff, mentions of anxiety attacks, swearing, mutual pining, no smut, sam and natasha have the braincell in the two friendships. please note if any of this triggers you please do not read. you are responsible for the media you consume.
A.N: this is my first time writing a plus sized reader, being plus sized i’ve always wanted to explore writing for a reader who looks like me, i hope i’ve done well, if not i will strive to improve my writing so please be kind, thank you. that being said, i am immensely proud of what i have written.
i will share my new crayons if you share your sparkle pens.
-bucky’
‘dear bucky,
i want the blue crayon, you pick a sparkle colour, i will share it with you
-y/n’
‘dear sparkle,
i want the purple sparkle, because its your favourite, i wanna be your favourite too.
-bucky’
‘dear bucky,
you are my favourite.
and you can have the purple sparkle.
-sparkle’
‘dear sparkle,
i think we are going to be best friends.
-bucky’
‘dear bucky,
i think so too.
-sparkle’
Fifteen.
“what do you mean you are moving away?” You ask, confusion laces through your features.
“It means I have to go to a new city, my dad got a new job, they gave him a fancy house. Sparkle I don’t want to move.” Bucky is looking sullen, his blue eyes hold a sadness that is slowly seeping into his heart with every minute that passes.
It is slowly sinking in what is going to happen, he has go leave everything here, his childhood home, the mini play house at the backyard, this swing set you both have been sitting on since time began, and you.
DO NOT PLAGIARIZE, REPOST, TRANSLATE OR DO ANY OF THAT CHEAP SHIT.
I walked through the door with you
The air was cold
But something about it felt like home somehow
And I left my scarf there at your sister’s house
Gleaming and glittering were the wide smiles on yours and Bucky’s lips.
Like how the relationship looked from the outside.
Soft and tender were the touches of his hand on your thighs.
So unlike his intentions.
Fluttering with happiness and love was your heart.
So was his but not quite like yours.
Bucky’s laugh thrummed the air in the car, getting carried away with the wind whipping your hair like your own laugh mingled with his in perfect harmony.
But, you failed to realize that at the least that might be the only perfect thing the two of you had to go. The naivety of love and the foolishness of the heart can most definitely make even the wisest person do things like this.
“ No, really. This man actually came up to me saying that.” Bucky shook his head, gushing on his words as your head tossed back in laughter.
“ Why are people like this?” You laughed out loud.
Summary:After moving back to your home town, you run into the one person you weren’t prepared for.
Warnings:Angst, mentions of past abuse (mental, manipulation), fluff.
The multiple piles of boxes stared you down, daring to unpack them — to unpack your life, to re-setup your life — but all you could do was stare back. It didn’t help that the box truck of furniture was staring at you from its spot in the driveway, mocking you for not hiring a moving company to unload it for you.
You didn’t think you’d ever end back up in the tiny lake town you grew up in, but here you are, standing in the small house you bought with most of the money you kept hidden from your ex-husband. It was halfway across the country away from him, and you would’ve gone further if you could have, but your little town was always safe when you were younger. No tourists, not too much crime, other than the crimes from the big city just twenty minutes down the highway. Not even your ex-husband knew it was your home. You figured it’d be the best spot to restart.
Sighing, you decided not to unpack just yet, and grabbed your car keys. Your car was already unhooked from the trailer and you needed groceries, and what better time to go get them than when you don’t want to do what really needs to be done.
Pairing: Serialkiller!Bucky x SerialkillerFem!Reader
Words:1.8k
Warning(s):torture, fluff, blood, gore, and swearing
A/N: I had way too much fun with this oneshot/drabble! i hope you enjoy! Also, requests are open :D
Gotta make a move to a town that’s right for me
Town to keep me movin’
Keep me groovin’ with some energy
His pleads were drowned by the suffocating music, the crackling radio echoing through the barren halls, the faint voice sounding like a distant whisper. He screamed into the rag that was stuffed into his mouth and used as a gag, his body convulsing as the knife sliced another cut into his skin.
Summary: Sam and (Y/n)’s mission to retrieve information from the Flag Smashers is hijacked by Bucky. The three find themselves accompanied by an extremely flirty John Walker, something that doesn’t sit well with Bucky.
Author’s Note: Enemies to lovers trope w buckyyyyy I canttt. Defensive Bucky omgggg.
She heard him before she saw him. With a groan she entered the hangar.
“I’m gonna go see if Redwing’s right. ‘Cause I have a feeling they might be part of the Big Three.” Sam told (y/n)’s worst nightmare, Bucky.
“What Big Three?” Bucky asked.
“The Big Three.” (Y/n) answered. “Androids, aliens and wizards.”
“You’re late,” Sam said, turning around to face his partner. “But you’re right.”
Bucky groaned, looking at his own personal hell, (y/n). “That’s not a thing.”
“Of course it’s a thing!” She said, rolling her eyes. “Maybe aliens, androids and wizards weren’t a thing back in the 1800’s when you were first alive. But they are a thing now.”
“For the last time, I wasn’t born in the 1800’s.” Bucky huffed. “So, what? You’re saying you’re gonna fight Gandalf now?”
“How do you know about Gandalf?” Sam asked furrowing his brows.
“He probably read it when it first came out.” (y/n) laughed.
“I’m gonna ignore the obvious insult, but yes, I did in fact read it back in 1937.” Bucky said shaking his head. “But there are no wizards!”
“Doctor Strange!” Sam retorted.
“Is a sorcerer.” Bucky replied, not backing down.
“Aah!” (Y/n) chuckled. “A sorcerer is a wizard without a hat! I’m right!”
Sam nodded happily. “The fact is these guys use brute force just like you.”
“The incredibly annoying guy in front of us with the staring problem.” (Y/n) added, making Bucky face her and stare.
“I’m coming with you guys.”
She rolled her eyes and left, heading towards the jet. “No, you are not!”
On the plane, Bucky and (Y/n) were in an incredibly intense staring match. “Can we please just throw him off the plane?”
“I’ve got a vibranium arm, I’ll survive the fall.” Bucky said, giving off a fake smile.
“Let’s go (y/n).” Sam said, passing her the chute.
Sam quickly headed to the door and dropped down.
“This is the only one we have,” (Y/n) said with a smile, strapping on the parachute. “Hope your arm breaks the fall, R2D2.”
Bucky felt his blood boil, she always knew how to push his buttons. With one swift move he ripped off the leather sleeve on his jacket, pulled her closer to him and strapped on to the parachute that was already wrapped on her shoulders, kicking both of them off the plane.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” She mumbled as they both slowly descended, his short stubble grazing against the skin of her neck. He turned to face her, their lips not even an inch from each other.
“What? Do I make you nervous doll?” Bucky smirked. If there was one thing he knew about her, it was that she hated being close to him. “Afraid I’ll steal a kiss?”
She only rolled her eyes and faced the other way.
As they came down, the chute got caught in one of the tree branches. Ripping it in two. They both fell down hard, getting tangled in all of the ropes and fabric. With a thud, (y/n) ended up on top of Bucky.
“I have all of that on camera. You guys know that right?” Sam said, Redwing flying on top of the two.
“Ugh! Get off of me.” (Y/n) groaned, rolling off of Bucky.
“Get out of my face, Sam, or I’ll break it.” Bucky said, the air still knocked out of his lungs.
“Y’all make a cute couple and all, but I need you to head north.” Sam replied through the speaker, laughing.
The trio found itself in an abandoned warehouse. The walls burnt down and filled with graffiti, dust flying everywhere.
“Wow Bucky, this is a nice place. You never told us that you had a house in Munich.” (Y/n) said looking around the grimy scene.
“This looks nothing like my house.” He mumbled. “You should ask your mom what it looks like, she told me she liked the décor last night when I was bang-“
“Hey! First graders! No ‘yo mamma’ jokes.” Sam said, motioning for them to get closer to where he was.
(Y/n) shot him an annoyed look. “By the way, my mom is a classy woman. She doesn’t go for guys like you.”
“Well, you better double check because last time she was in my bed, she told me she loved-“
“What did I just say!” Sam interrupted. “I can’t take you guys anywhere!”
“I’ll see you guys in there… or not.” Bucky said, leaving Sam and (Y/n) behind.
“Look at you, all stealthy.” (Y/n) said through the earpiece. “You spend two days in Wakanda and come out White Panther.”
“It’s actually White Wolf.” Bucky retorted.
A second later, Sam and (Y/n) were next to him.
“What did we miss, Pink Pony? Oh yeah, nothing.” (Y/n) whispered.
“How many times am I going to have to tell you, it’s White Wolf.”
The three of them saw the identical vans leaving the warehouse.
“While you two were over here fighting, the criminals left, and they have a hostage! Now follow me!” Sam yelled, leaving the two behind.
Bucky quickly caught up to the first vehicle. “They’re stealing medicines, vaccines. I found the hostage.”
The hostage let out a devious smile before kicking Bucky off of the car. “Shit!” He was pulled by two of the other Flag Smashers, immediately put into a fight.
Sam quickly dropped (Y/n) to where Bucky was, dropping punches left and right. Making one of the two men holding the former Winter Soldier back, double back in pain. “You’re welcome.”
Before they noticed, a shield came into the fight. It was John Walker and Lemar Hoskins. But not even with two others could they win. (Y/n) was flung off of the van, falling into a nearby field. She was soon accompanied by both Sam and Bucky.
“Don’t you two look romantic.” (Y/n) teased as she saw both men panting.
With a shocked look in his face, Bucky said: “Those were all super soldiers.”
The three of them had a look of defeat in their faces when they saw the jeep approach them. In the back sat none other than the fake Captain America and his sidekick.
“So that didn’t go as planned, huh?” Walker said as the car came to a halt, the back opening for them to climb up. But they kept on walking. “C’mon you guys know we’ve got to work together.”
“That’s not happening.” Bucky said.
“For the first time in forever, I’m with Barnes on this one. Not in your wildest dreams, Walker.” (Y/n) replied, her gaze still focused on the road ahead of her.
“Oh, (y/l/n), you don’t wanna know what we do in my wildest dreams.” John Walker said with a smug smile. “The fact is, we stand a better chance if we-“
“Just cause you carry the shield doesn’t mean you’re Captain America.” Bucky replied.
“Look, it’s twenty miles to the nearest airport. You three need a ride!” John said and Lemar nodded.
They all found themselves crammed on the back of the car. Sam and Bucky facing John, Lemar and (Y/n).
“The super soldiers say they’re trying to get things back to how it was during The Blip. Maybe they’re just trying to help.” Sam explained.
“They’ve got a funny way of showing it.” (Y/n) rolled her eyes.
“Look, if we work together, we’ll have the perfect team. We have the government backing us up, you two are great fighters and well, (y/n) brings the looks.” Walker smiled, resting his hand on the back of where (y/n) was sitting.
“Thinking a woman can only bring in looks is so outdated. Move your hand one inch and those fingers will be laying on the floor.” She hissed.
“Oh c’mon. I know you bring more than looks, I’ve seen how you fight. But I can’t deny you look good.” The fake Captain America said, not even disguising his flirting.
“Aren’t you married?” She asked, disgusted.
“You know what they say,” John said, taking his hand and placing it on the small of her back. “Eyes that don’t see, heart that doesn’t hurt.”
Before anyone could even reply, (Y/n) had Walker facing the other way, arm locked and twisted behind his back. In this position, he could see the way Bucky’s eyes were burning holes into his face.
“Okay okay! I’m sorry.” John said and she let go of him. “I’m sorry, I just wanted to pay you a compliment.”
Once his hand was free, he faced the front again, seeing Bucky’s eyes follow him. “Does he always just stare like that?”
“You get used to it.” Sam said.
Bucky saw how John placed his hand on (y/n)’s thigh. Before any other words came out of his mouth, Bucky stood up and grabbed Walker by the collar. “I thought she had left it pretty clear. Don’t, fucking, touch her.”
John was choking, trying to get Bucky off of him.
“We’re getting off.” Bucky said, not waiting for the car to stop, jumping off.
As they all exited, the only thing they heard was Walker say: “Whenever you want someone else to be your guard dog, (y/n), call me.”
She flipped him off and kept on walking.
“I was handling the situation.” She told Bucky, he just growled under his breath.
Summary: I found a questionnaire for couples and I thought what if the relationships I write about answered these?
BUCKY X READER
Who hogs the blankets at night?
Everynight Bucky has to wake up and pull you close in your burrito of blankets. He smiles everytime and finds you eventually in the middle of the stack as he tries to shield his chest from the cold. He kisses your forehead before he goes back to sleep to wake up with you tucked in all of the blankets again by morning.
If you two fall asleep on the couch it usually turns Bucky into a blanket hog however. He tucks it around the corners of your legs to get himself comfy before you know it he is asleep and turned over with a blanket wrapped around him like a toga. You giggle every time and snap a picture while you can.
Who eats the uneaten pizza crust?
As you take small bites around the edge of the crust you toss the pieces onto your plate and sigh as you clean your fingers with a napkin. You paused the movie and walked over to the counter and set your plate down. You turned around to grab something to drink as Bucky came over and gasped.
“What?”
“You don’t eat the pizza crust? That’s the best part!” He loudly stated as he picked up one of the pieces and chewed it.
“I don’t like the taste of plain dough. You can have them if you want.”
“Just another reason we were made for each other, Doll.” He smiled as he pulled you against him for a hug and joined you on the couch with your pizza crusts.
Who is crying over a sad movie?
Your nose was tucked against the blanket as Bucky ran his fingers through your hair. You had agreed to watch this movie Bucky suggested and it was pulling at your heart strongly. You held back your tears for most of the movie but just as the two old lovers who thought they didn’t love each other admit their feelings you feel tears coming to your eyes. You sat up and scooted closer into Bucky’s side as you watch intently. The woman reached up from the wheelchair and laced her fingers with the man’s. “I love you.” The woman said just loudly enough for the man in the hospital bed to hear. “It took you long enough.” As the two people hugged you felt a tear breech over your eyelid and fall over your cheek. As romantic music played in the background the old woman crawled into the bed with the man and they shared a soft kiss. You grabbed Bucky’s hand and pulled it against your chest, getting his attention on your tears. As the screen went black you heard the heart monitor go into a dead tone and tears fell rapidly. You sniffled into your hands as you let the tears fall and the movie ended to show real life pictures of the couple. Whimpering a bit Bucky pulled you onto his lap and kissed your temple. “I didn’t know it would make you cry.”
“It was just so sweet, to be together like that, their entire lives they were in love with each other and they finally got their moment and died! How are you not bawling?!”
“Aw it’s okay baby. We have hundreds of years together.” You snuggled against his chest as you got to pick the next movie for the night.
Who talks smack on game nights?
“Who is the queen now?!” You exclaimed as you placed a hotel on each of your owned properties on the monopoly board.
“Don’t get too cocky now Princess.”
“I’m gonna win! Daddy’s gonna loose!” You chided happily as he landed on your most expensive place. Holding your hand out with a winning smirk you heard him grumble as he gave you the money he owed for rent. “Thank you for visiting.” You laughed as you rolled the dice and landed on the free parking space. “Yes!”
“You have to be cheating.”
“Don’t be a sore looser James.”
“Watch it Doll. You haven’t won yet.”
“It’s hard to hold it back when I know what’s gonna happen!” You were excited you had never won a game and you were promised no punishments for anything that happened for the rest of the night. You smiled as he landed on yet another one of your properties and paid you even more of his money. You laughed as you drew a chance card and read that you had to pay housing fees for each hotel, which costed 175 for each one. You brushed it off saying how you would just win it back on your next roll, seeing free parking was near. Bucky rolled and sucked on his lip as he moved to the free parking spot and picked up the stack of paper money you had just set down.
“Looks like my luck is changing Doll.”
“Not for long.” You rolled and landed on a railroad. Rolling your eyes as you counted out $400 dollars for Bucky he flashed a playboy smile at you.
“I’ll take an apology now and wont punish you.”
“No. I will still win this!” You huffed as Bucky rolled again and landed on community chest which had him land on go and collect another 400. You rolled and landed on luxury tax which broke you down to your last 100. As you nervously passed Go your money went back up to three but you landed on Bucky’s railroad piece.
“Gonna have to mortgage Sweets.”
“Shut up.” You chewed on your thumb a bit before picking up your yellow set along with your orange and selling them to the bank to get just enough to pay Bucky rent. “There, Let’s hurry this up.”
“Woah! Someone isn’t so happy now that they are losing.”
“I’m not losing, just a bit behind.”
“Mhm. C’mere, I miss you.” You stood up as Bucky made his move on the board and blushed as he pulled you down to his lap. “That’s better.” He pressed a kiss against your neck, causing you to lean back against him. “Better focus before you lose.” You huffed as you grabbed the die and rolled and landed on go to jail.
“Fuck!” You yelled and you felt Bucky’s hand moving around to tease you and eventually forget the game.
Bucky
Who hogs the blankets at night
Everynight Bucky has to wake up and pull you close in your burrito of blankets. He smiles everytime and finds you eventually in the middle of the stack as he tries to shield his chest from the cold. He kisses your forehead before he goes back to sleep to wake up with you tucked in all of the blankets again by morning.
If you two fall asleep on the couch it usually turns Bucky into a blanket hog however. He tucks it around the corners of your legs to get himself comfy before you know it he is asleep and turned over with a blanket wrapped around him like a toga. You giggle every time and snap a picture while you can.
Who eats the uneaten pizza crust
As you take small bites around the edge of the crust you toss the pieces onto your plate and sigh as you clean your fingers with a napkin. You paused the movie and walked over to the counter and set your plate down. You turned around to grab something to drink as Bucky came over and gasped.
“What?”
“You don’t eat the pizza crust? That’s the best part!” He loudly stated as he picked up one of the pieces and chewed it.
“I don’t like the taste of plain dough. You can have them if you want.”
“Just another reason we were made for each other, Doll.” He smiled as he pulled you against him for a hug and joined you on the couch with your pizza crusts.
Who is crying over a sad movie
Your nose was tucked against the blanket as Bucky ran his fingers through your hair. You had agreed to watch this movie Bucky suggested and it was pulling at your heart strongly. You held back your tears for most of the movie but just as the two old lovers who thought they didn’t love each other admit their feelings you feel tears coming to your eyes. You sat up and scooted closer into Bucky’s side as you watch intently. The woman reached up from the wheelchair and laced her fingers with the man’s. “I love you.” The woman said just loudly enough for the man in the hospital bed to hear. “It took you long enough.” As the two people hugged you felt a tear breech over your eyelid and fall over your cheek. As romantic music played in the background the old woman crawled into the bed with the man and they shared a soft kiss. You grabbed Bucky’s hand and pulled it against your chest, getting his attention on your tears. As the screen went black you heard the heart monitor go into a dead tone and tears fell rapidly. You sniffled into your hands as you let the tears fall and the movie ended to show real life pictures of the couple. Whimpering a bit Bucky pulled you onto his lap and kissed your temple. “I didn’t know it would make you cry.”
“It was just so sweet, to be together like that, their entire lives they were in love with each other and they finally got their moment and died! How are you not bawling?!”
“Aw it’s okay baby. We have hundreds of years together.” You snuggled against his chest as you got to pick the next movie for the night.
Who talks smack on game nights
“Who is the queen now?!” You exclaimed as you placed a hotel on each of your owned properties on the monopoly board.
“Don’t get too cocky now Princess.”
“I’m gonna win! Daddy’s gonna loose!” You chided happily as he landed on your most expensive place. Holding your hand out with a winning smirk you heard him grumble as he gave you the money he owed for rent. “Thank you for visiting.” You laughed as you rolled the dice and landed on the free parking space. “Yes!”
“You have to be cheating.”
“Don’t be a sore looser James.”
“Watch it Doll. You haven’t won yet.”
“It’s hard to hold it back when I know what’s gonna happen!” You were excited you had never won a game and you were promised no punishments for anything that happened for the rest of the night. You smiled as he landed on yet another one of your properties and paid you even more of his money. You laughed as you drew a chance card and read that you had to pay housing fees for each hotel, which costed 175 for each one. You brushed it off saying how you would just win it back on your next roll, seeing free parking was near. Bucky rolled and sucked on his lip as he moved to the free parking spot and picked up the stack of paper money you had just set down.
“Looks like my luck is changing Doll.”
“Not for long.” You rolled and landed on a railroad. Rolling your eyes as you counted out $400 dollars for Bucky he flashed a playboy smile at you.
“I’ll take an apology now and wont punish you.”
“No. I will still win this!” You huffed as Bucky rolled again and landed on community chest which had him land on go and collect another 400. You rolled and landed on luxury tax which broke you down to your last 100. As you nervously passed Go your money went back up to three but you landed on Bucky’s railroad piece.
“Gonna have to mortgage Sweets.”
“Shut up.” You chewed on your thumb a bit before picking up your yellow set along with your orange and selling them to the bank to get just enough to pay Bucky rent. “There, Let’s hurry this up.”
“Woah! Someone isn’t so happy now that they are losing.”
“I’m not losing, just a bit behind.”
“Mhm. C’mere, I miss you.” You stood up as Bucky made his move on the board and blushed as he pulled you down to his lap. “That’s better.” He pressed a kiss against your neck, causing you to lean back against him. “Better focus before you lose.” You huffed as you grabbed the die and rolled and landed on go to jail.
“Fuck!” You yelled as you ended up having to pay to get out of jail and landing on the railroads owned by Bucky.
Who always sings with the radio?
As Bucky drove to the cabin he had surprised you with for an anniversary you clicked on the radio. He smiled as the music grew louder in the car and you rolled down the windows. You laughed as you danced in your seat with the music before your voice began to carry through the car. Bucky grabbed your hand and brought it up to his lips with a kiss.
“Sing with me!” You searched through your playlist for your wedding song and a shine grew in his eye. Bucky took a turn and you held your free hand out of the window.
Who would accidentally burn the kitchen down cooking?
You rushed over to the sink to finish rinsing the potatoes before your meat began to burn. You had been working for hours in the kitchen and this was your second attempt to make dinner for Bucky. He had been sent on a month-long mission and even if he skipped dinner and went straight to dessert you still wanted it to be perfect for him. He had texted you when his plane landed and how long it would be until he was home. You took a deep breath before mixing and sliding the meal into the oven. Prepping the next step for your potatoes you smelled the air and cursed yourself for forgetting the pie on the top rack of the oven. You had set the oven to broil to try and crisp the skin of the fish you were cooking and completely forgot about it. You pulled open the oven door after shutting the oven off for the area to fill with black smoke. You began coughing and couldn’t hear the door open. Bucky immediately dropped his bag and searched for you.
“Doll?!”
“There’s no way you’re home already?!” You stomped your foot on the floor as you felt him pulling you away from the stove. You moved your hand to clear the air around you a bit before rushing over to the windows to let the house air out.
“Are you okay?”
“Yea. I was trying to make you a special dinner.”
“Well I’m glad I got home before you burned down the house.”
“But now dinner is ruined.”
“That’s okay, I’m craving something sweet anyway.” Your laughed echoed as he carried you to the bedroom.
Who does the shopping?
You tried taking Bucky with you to the grocery store but it was proving to be difficult. He was excited at all of the new food and loaded up your cart with these useless things he would never finish and would end up going out of date. After the five hours spent in the grocery store you sat down with him and told him to list off things he wanted to try because you were going to the store alone from now on. He whined to go with you but eventually gave up when you promised to buy him one new thing each time.
Who kills the spiders?
You screamed at the top of your lungs before hopping on the center counter and tucking your feet under your butt.
“What’s wrong Doll?”
“Spider. Sink. Get it!” You waved your hand over to the area and whined when you saw it move higher up the side of the sink.
“Calm down. Hand me a paper towel.”
“Ew, here.” You tossed the sheet in the air for it to miss Bucky’s hand completely and fall to the floor.
“Doll, It’s not gonna reach you over there.”
“Don’t care. Kill it.” Bucky reached down to pick up the sheet before pressing it against the spider and crumpling it up in the trash.
“Better?”
“My hero.” You wrapped your arms around him for a hug before you each went back to cleaning.
Who is the Morning or Night person?
Every morning Bucky wakes you up with kisses and cuddles because he has been laying in bed for an hour now wanting to get up. Sometimes you could convince him to stay in bed with you and it would always be a loving lazy morning, where you wouldn’t leave until noon. Other times Bucky was trying to wake you up to spend the morning with him. He always asked about going on his run with him or having breakfast at the cafe downstairs. You would always try to make it to some of his early activities the same way he would spend the day in bed with you.
But ever so often you would sleep the mornings away and Bucky would be asleep as you read a book into the night. You were a night owl. Always had been always will be. Something about the mystery of the night always pulled you towards it. Bucky would try to stay up with you but he would fall asleep on the couch with you awake at 3 in the morning finishing a movie.
Who is more loving?
Bucky is loving with gestures. He will tell you he loves you every day no matter what but if it comes to it he will always choose a gesture to make you blush and have a permanent smile on your face because you know how special you are. Bucky is going to say you, but that’s because you showed him how to love. He knew before HYDRA but after he had lost every part of him and basically have to restart. You reminded him of his favorite feeling in the world and he would do anything to hold onto it.
Summary: When Bucky fell from the train in 1945, he didn’t just leave behind his family and friends. He left behind the girl he was going to marry, a girl he never stopped loving. Decades later, Bucky continued to search for her, only to find out that she had disappeared without a trace in 1955.
But when Steve hands over the shield to Sam Wilson, he also has something for his childhood friend—a redacted S.H.I.E.L.D. file code-named Operation: Freefall, a file with more questions than answers. With Sam’s help and a handful of Pym Particles, the file sends Bucky on a trip to the past, trying to solve the mystery and save the woman he still loves.
Series Warnings: Post TFATWS, Endgame Compliant, Canon-Adjacent, Time Travel, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood, Injury, Mention of Past Death, PTSD, Survivor’s Guilt, General Winter Soldier Warnings, Period-Typical Racism, Angst, Reunited Lovers, Eventual Smut.
Chapter Warnings: TATWS spoilers, Mention of Death, Angst, Self-Blame,
A/N: This series has been a long time coming. I first put out the teaser for it in January, and although I have (an embarrassing amount) of WIP’s right now, I just don’t want to wait to start on this one anymore. Hope you like it!
“So I really have to stay here.” You sighed, sitting on Bucky’s bed in his room at the compound which was a stark difference to the place you both used to live back when you were with HYDRA. For example this place had pillows.
“Yes y/n. If we’re really going to take down Strucker once and for all, I need to make sure you’re safe.” He answered, sitting at his desk chair.
“Do I at least get to go home and grab some things then?” You questioned, laying back against the bed “I need clothes, my skincare bag, my blades.” You listed.
“We can go back there together later on—”
“I’ll go alone.” You interjected.
“But for now, let me introduce you to the gang, they should be back now.” He said excitedly, standing up.
“Gang?” You snorted.
“My palls.”
“You’re gonna make me gag.” You huffed as Bucky took your hand, pulling you up before you both left the room. You both headed back towards floor 7 which you assumed was the common area considering that when you arrived, everyone who you assumed were Becky’s ‘palls’ were there. They all seemed lost in a task before they sighted you and Bucky walking in. You felt slightly nervous under their gazes but you took a deep breath, relaxing yourself especially when your gaze met Lokis. He gave a curt nod of acknowledgement that you were thankful for. You shuffled closer to Bucky.
“Who’s your friend?” A man who you definitely recognised as Captain America asked, wriggling his brows as he stepped towards you.
“Take another step pretty boy and I’ll castrate you.” You grinned.
“Y/N!” Bucky exclaimed.
“Feisty.” Loki smirked.
“She’s not a friendly.” Steve murmured, taking a step backwards. 
“Y/n, this is Steve.” Bucky introduced. You replied with a quick smile before your stoic expression returned. “And this is Wanda.” He continued, gesturing to the girl that had a wide smile as she looked at you. You returned it recognising it’s falseness. It hid pain.
“I recognise you.” She spoke.
“I must have one of those faces.” You lied knowing that she looked familiar too.
“Remind me, how do you know eachother again?” Steve interjected. You glanced at Bucky who visibly winced. Looking away from him, your eyes met a different pair. Clearly she realised to.
“We used to date.” You smiled seeing that Bucky clearly wasn’t going to answer.
“No.” The red head who you recognised as Natasha Romanoff interrupted “they’re bound by trauma. Look at how close they’re standing plus Bucky gulped when you asked.” She continued, talking to Steve.
“Oh you’re good.” You smirked, looking at her.
“Oh you have no idea.” She winked.
“As the hot redhead put it, we’re bound by trauma.” You announced.
“Trauma?” Steve questioned.
“HYDRA.” Bucky murmured as you nodded.
“Baron Wolfgang von Strucker” Wanda spoke just above a whisper “that’s where I know you from.”
“We were there together. We took HYDRA down together and now we’ve got to team up again to take down Strucker because apparently we missed him last time. One final fight. That’s why I’ve been grounded here.” You huffed.
“You’re not grounded.” Bucky clarified.
“Course not, I just can’t can’t leave.” You sighed.
“She’s here because if anyone finds out what we’re doing, she’ll be in a lot of danger. We have to protect her.” Bucky said to the group who were watching you both bickering.
“If I needed to I could protect myself.” You opined, gesturing to yourself as your sleeve rode slightly up exposing the tattoo on your arm.
“You’re the Taipan.” Natasha said with a small gasp, noticing the snake tattoo. It was your turn to wink. “I knew you were a woman, a man could never be so swift.”
You looked over at Loki, giving him a small smile remembering his earlier remark. He returned the gesture by rolling his eyes.
“Why thank you Romanoff. I’m a fan of your work too well, your work before you teamed up with these lot.” You praised.
“Well an ally of Bucky’s is an ally of ours, you have my protection.” Steve assured. “Regardless of how violent you are.” He said under his breath. You gave him a small smile.
“I will do everything in my power to help you take down Strucker.” Wanda agreed.
“I’d be honoured to work with the Taipan plus I’m never one to turn down a fight.” Natasha said with a coy smile. You gave her a thankful one before you turned your attention towards Loki who was yet to speak.
“Hm, this could be fun.” He sniggered “count me in, I’ll protect you y/n.” He teased, raising his brow as if he was your knight in shining armour.
“Don’t need your protection.” You answered quickly.
“Y/n.” Bucky warned.
“Thank you Loki, thank you for your protection.” You answered.
“Right so you’ve met Steve, Wanda, Natasha and Loki, that concludes my friends, the rest are either on a mission or off earth.” Bucky said, saying the last bit slightly uncomfortably.
“Nice. Can I go home and grab some clothes now?”
“Grab something from my room to sleep in, we’ll sort out you going home tomorrow.” Bucky decided.
“You.” You scoffed, lowering your weapon as your eyes met Bucky’s.
“Why am I not surprised?” He sighed, lowering his weapon too.
“Look, stay out of my way. I’m not here for you or any of yours.” You assured.
“You might not be here to kill me today but there’s always tomorrow.” He countered.
“You’re right James, you should stay vigilant.” You grinned darkly “now are you going to let me pass or am I going to have to bring your death prematurely?” You questioned nonchalantly, running your eyes over your nails.
“Y/n, you know I can’t let you go.” He said, shaking his head.
“I thought you’d say something stupid like that. You never fail to disappoint.” You answered unamused.
“Well you know me doll, ever the pleaser.” He smiled, opening his arms.
“Move.” You commanded.
“Can’t do that.”
“Move now or I really will kill you.” You said again.
“Not gonna happen.” He tutted.
“Moveee!” You shouted, pushing Bucky out of the way as your target raised an axe ready to hit him with it. You quickly disarmed him before swiping his legs, bringing him crashing to the floor. You got on top of him, tightly gripping his throat with one hand as you slapped him across the face with the other. “Naughty boy.” You scolded.
Bucky stood up, blinking the dizziness away that he felt after being pushed to the floor unexpectedly by you. Looking down at you, he saw you straddling a man on the floor as you strangled him.
“Y/n stop!” He ordered, pulling your arm to drag you off of him.
“James get off of me.” You shrugged him off, gripping the man below you’s throat with two hands now.
Bucky pulled you off of the man, pinning you to the ground.
“Do you have any idea what you’ve just done!” You screeched as your target quickly stood to his feet before trudging out of the room, holding his neck.
“I can’t knowingly let you kill people.” Bucky answered, knitting his brows.
“He was my target you dick and a very dangerous one. It’s taken me weeks to finally track him down and now I’ve lost him again.” You stressed.
“Tough.” Bucky stated, still pinning you to the floor.
“How did you even know I was here?” You asked, as Bucky eventually got off of you when he was certain the man had gotten far enough away from you.
“You’re not the only one who’s been tracking someone down.” He replied knowingly, helping you to stand.
“So you’re following me now, great.” You sighed, holding his arm as you stood up.
“I wouldn’t say following—” he began.
“Stalking.” You cut in.
“Keeping an eye on you.”
“Watching.”
“Weirdo.”
“I’m not a weirdo, I was curious to see what you’ve been up to since—.” He began to speak before pausing as if lost for words as he looked down at the ground.
“Before we destroyed HYDRA?” You finished for him.
“Yeah.”
“Bit of this bit of that.” You sniggered.
“But nothing meaningful, nothing you’re proud of.” He spoke, looking back up at you.
“I am very proud to have earned the name The Taipan unlike you, what is it they call you again? Bucky?” You chuckled.
“Seems I’m not the only one who’s been keeping tabs.” He quipped.
“You’re not special, I keep tabs on everyone I’ve had some sort of past with, especially those concerning HYDRA.” You answered causing Bucky to slightly wince at the mention of the awful organisation.
“I’ll take your word for it.” He winked, quickly recovering.
“Well it’s been nice talking but I’ve got a job to fulfil.”
“Unfortunately I cannot let you do that. The man that you just tried to kill is under the protection of SHIELD.”
“The good guys I am to assume? You do remember that he literally just tried to kill you.” You huffed.
“Well—that’s besides the point.” Bucky quickly answered.
“So where do we go from here then?”
“You follow me.” He suggested.
“And why would I do that?” You tittered.
“Because there’s one last person we missed.” He answered.
You inhaled sharply knowing what he was referring to, narrowing your gaze as you took a step closer to Bucky. Missed? Who could you both have possibly missed you thought, panic and anger rising through your body.
“Who?“ you demanded.
“Strucker.” Bucky answered lowly.
“Strucker?” You gasped, swallowing thickly “th—that can’t be possible. We torched that building, the whole lot. How can he have survived?” You rambled, anxiously running a hand through your hair.
“I don’t know. All I know is that he is alive, laying dormant but alive.” Bucky answered.
“And what have you and your new friends been doing about it? Sitting around? Pretending you’re a superhero when you’re nothing but a coward.” You seethed.
“You know just as well as I do that it’s not as simple as just taking Strucker out. If he’s alive then he’s not working alone. We have to divide and conquer. Now, I could do this by myself or you could join me.” He offered.
“I will not stop until that bastard is in hell.” You said through gritted teeth.
Bucky’s hands roamed the sides of your body as he kissed you deeply. You began undoing your robe before he stopped the kiss, pulling back from you.
“Y/n wait, I spoke to Darcy.” He began.
“I really don’t wanna hear that right now.” You stressed, lifting his top up before he lifted his arms, helping you with the action. Once he was topless, you began peppering kisses over his chest. He wanted to stop you, he needed to speak to you but in that moment he couldn’t focus on anything other than the feeling of your lips against his skin. Feeling your lips trailing lower, he stepped backwards.
“Y/n stop.”
“You don’t want me?” You spoke sadly, looking away from him mostly out of embarrassment. Bucky instantly regretted pausing your moments, in reality there was nothing he wanted more but his earlier conversation with Darcy was keeping him from claiming you. The sound of you sniffling shook him from his trance. What the hell he thought, pulling you towards him by the cord that kept your robe tied before pressing his lips to yours again. As your robe slowly unravelled, you felt Bucky’s skin against yours. You melted in his embrace, gasping into the kiss when you felt him pick you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist, not breaking the kiss as he walked you backwards towards the bed. He practically threw you onto it before positioning himself above you. His lips travelled over your neck before he moved lower, placing soft kisses along your sternum as you closed your eyes. He cupped one of your breasts before flicking his tongue over your nipple causing you to open your eyes as you looked down, watching his actions. His other hand massaged the other one as he wrapped his lips around it, taking the erect bud into his mouth.
“Bucky.” You called out in ecstasy, hips beginning to slightly raise off of the bed.
“So pretty baby.” grinned, voice low as he looked up at you before releasing your breasts and once again travelling lower leaving open mouthed kisses down your abdomen. You didn’t even realise now naked you were until you felt Bucky opening your legs wider, exposing you to him. You felt the cold air against your core as Bucky kissed your inner thighs. There was no time to feel self conscious, Bucky’s mouth was already so close.
“Fuckk.” You moaned as he leisurely licked a stripe from your entrance before sucking on your clit. You began rocking your hips against his face as he circled your clit, eliciting small moans from you. Your hands lightly pulled at his hair causing him to groan against you sending vibrations straight to your core. Bucky wrapped his lips around your clit, continuing to suck on it as one of his fingers found your entrance. You praised him further feeling his finger entering you, curling inside as he continued to lap at your clit. You felt him humming against you in content as if he was feeling just as good as you were. “I’m soo closee, don’t stopp.” You begged, feeling yourself so close to the edge. Bucky’s tongue moved faster as his finger pumped in and out of you quicker, wanting to make you climax. Eyes tightly shut, your mind drifted to a memory you often thought back to every time you came.
“I’m so close sooo closee.” You moaned, desperately trying to buck your hips as Loki held you down, refusing to allow you to move as he ravaged you, his tongue nudging your clit as he used two fingers to enter you.
“Cum for me.” He commanded, lifting his head slightly as he continued moving his fingers in and out of you. Following his command, you let go, swimming in euphoria before Loki lowered his head again, drinking you in. He left you so pleasured, so sated. You were near unconscious from the blissful overstimulation.
Feeling the band snap, you gripped Bucky’s hair as you came, hips thrusting upwards as he continued to toy with your clit.
“Yesss Lokiii.” You moaned until you realised what you had said.
Bucky stopped his movements, eyes widening as he heard you.
“Ohmygosh.” You gasped as he sat up.
“Never gotten that one before.” He said awkwardly, running a hand through his hair.
“Ohmygosh Ohmygosh.” You continued, putting a hand over your mouth as you closed your legs, sitting up too.
“It’s fine. I know you’re not in love with me.” He chuckled.
“I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine, honestly.” He lied, standing up and retrieving his top before using it to wipe his face.
You quickly picked up one of the sheets on the bed, wrapping it around yourself as you stood up in front of Bucky who was avoiding your gaze.
“Bucky you are amazing and boy do you know how to use your tongue but—” you began.
“But I’m not him.” He sighed. Instead of answering, it was your turn to look down. “Thought so.” He mumbled, turning around.
“Wait!” You called after him “I’d be happy to return the favour I mean—you’re really hard.” You said, glancing down at his erection through his jeans.
Bucky cleared his throat, picking up a pillow from the bed and using it to cover his boner before he spoke.
“No, no it’s fine.” He assured, making his way to the door. “But you should hear Darcy out if you still have feelings for Loki.” He said before leaving. Hearing the door close, you let out an embarrassed shriek before collapsing into the bed. Fucking great!
Warnings: angst/hurt; mentions of assault, Non-Con (not graphic);
18+; please pay attention to the warnings.
It had been almost three weeks since that night in that no name town. Three weeks since Bucky kissed you on the dance floor, and then again outside of the bar, as the team giggled and stumbled their way back to the Quinn jet. You had laid your head against Bucky’s shoulder as the plane’s autopilot feature brought you all home, and listened to the laughter of your family, as they planned the next getaway. And in that moment, Bucky’s gloved hand entwined in yours, you felt like you were in paradise. A little bubble that nobody could break.
But as soon as the plane landed, and everyone stumbled to bed, it was as if the world shifted and the feelings you had on that dance floor turned into memories. And Bucky slipped away like sand through your fingers.
It started small. You’d place a hand on his shoulder as you passed in the kitchen, and he’d glance up and give you a small smile before excusing himself to the gym. You had figured he was just getting back into his routine, which was completely fine, you had your own to return to. But it started to weigh on you the more he pulled away. You’d gesture for him to sit in the seat you saved during movie night, but he’d flop down on the floor near Sam, pretending to be engaged in whatever random thing Sam was talking about. And yeah, that had hurt. More than you wanted to admit. But you’d give him space because you wanted him in your life, and you figured he’d come around eventually. You were sure that the kiss meant something to him. To you both. He’d come around.
That was weeks ago.
The team had been discussing the next outing, deciding to just stay in New York and deal with the crowds and attention as it came. Tony planned to research a darker, smaller bar, away from the hustle and bustle of the city, so things would go as smooth as they did last time. And you all deserved it. Nat was still recovering from a recent mission that had her out of commission the last few days, locked in her room, refusing to see anyone. She finally emerged and announced this outing, insisting that the entire team needed it. You had looked at Bucky timidly, but he averted his eyes, smiling at Sam being pulled away by Nat to secretly discuss their next karaoke performance. The team was abuzz as Tony returned with the name of a bar close to the outskirts of the city, and everyone went their separate ways to get ready for the night. Everyone but you and Bucky. He looked tense, both hands clamped to the side of the island table in the kitchen, and you approached him cautiously.
“Hey, Bucky?” You whispered, watching carefully as his head jerked up looking at you fully for the first time in weeks, before letting out a deep breath, the ghost of a smile playing at his lips. Just as soon as it was there, Bucky was stone faced again, wrenching his hands from the table and facing you.
“Hey,” he responded, glancing behind him, almost as if he was plotting his escape through some secret hatch.
“Hey,” you said again, suddenly nervous. Bucky glanced back at you, a look of impatience in his eye, and your cheeks heated in response. You took a breath, stealing yourself for the conversation you knew you needed to finally have with the super soldier in front of you.
“Bucky, can we talk about what happened?” Bucky met your eyes briefly, letting out a puff of air and running his hand through his cropped hair.
“What do you mean?” You let out a frustrated breath, scoffing at his feigned ignorance, Bucky giving you a weary look.
“You know what I’m talking about, Bucky. You’ve been avoiding me for weeks.” Though you fought it, your breath hitched on the last word, and Bucky’s eyes shot up to yours, bright and alert. He took a half a step toward you, before thinking twice and taking two steps back. In any other moment it would have been comical to see such a tough man so nervous, but you waited patiently for him to finally engage with you somehow. He let out another breath, glancing down at the floor.
“Sweetheart…” He paused, considering his next words. “I shouldn’t have gotten so caught up in the moment.” He finally blurred out, eyes rising to meet yours. “Your friendship means too much to me, I can’t risk losing that.” You stood silent as his words washed over you, confusion quickly morphing into anger. Bucky took your silence as an answer and gave you a weak smile, before turning on his heel and heading toward the exit behind you.
“My friendship?!” You spun around and shot at his back, making him jolt to a stop in the doorway. “You’ve been ignoring me for weeks, Bucky,” you continued, keeping your voice more measured and even.
“If you didn’t like me, all you had to do was say so.” Your voice came out a level above a whisper, as you confessed what was weighing on you for weeks. Bucky kept his back turned to you, and you were silently begging him to turn around, to say anything to deny what you had just said. But the soldier simply hung his head and exited, never once turning around to see the tears slip down your cheeks.
You swiped at both cheeks angrily and stomped to the third floor toward where Nat and Wanda were surely getting ready for the night. You bust through the door, heading to Nat’s closet, muttering “I need to borrow a dress.” As you rifled through the fabric hanging in the closet, you didn’t catch the worried look the two women exchanged behind you.
————————
Tony was right that the bar was quiet, but there were still quite a few people huddled around and moving on the dance floor, the DJ pumping out a top 40 dance remix, much to Nat and Sam’s chagrin.
But after a few shots of whiskey that you made them take with you, they were more than willing to pull you with them in the dance floor, the red cocktail dress you borrowed from Nat threatening to expose you with every move you made. As you waltzed through Nat’s room earlier you vowed to forget about Bucky, even if just for tonight, and your plan was working for the most part. When a pair of muscular arms snaked around your waist, and a voice muttered “dance with me?” in your ear, you were brought back to the night a few weeks ago, but you nodded your head, and the four shots in your system did their job, forcing you to sway back and forth with the stranger, shaking your hips.
The stranger looked pleasant enough, shoulder length blonde hair briefly making you think of Bucky again, but you pushed the thought out of your head and tried to focus on the strangers hands warm at your lower back. You closed your eyes and leaned into the man when Tony had walked up, pulling you roughly from the stranger’s hands.
“What are you doing?” Tony yelled over the fast beat of the music, shooting a warning look at the man’s protests behind you. You pushed against Tony’s arms, but his grip was firm, so you looked up at him, Tony’s eyes softening as you met them.
“Are you okay?” He practically mimed, struggling to be heard over the music. You nodded yes before Tony’s attention was pulled from you by a few screaming drunk girls wanting to take a picture.
You took advantage of your “dad’s” distraction to pull out of his grasp and shimmy back to the stranger, taking the shot he offered you in one gulp, and wincing as the liquid burned its way down your throat. The music changed to something a bit slower, and the man wrapped his arms respectfully around your waist, you placing your hands on his shoulder. Though you were looking into green eyes, you were imagining blue ones, and a hint of vanilla and spice hit your nostrils. You looked around, but Bucky was nowhere in sight so you settled into the strangers embrace, hoping to get the blue eyes out of your mind, even if just for one song.
As you continued to sway, your mind began to get a bit fuzzy, vision blurring, and you tried to remember how many shots you had taken. Surely it wasn’t more than four or five; you would be drunk, but not this drunk.
You continued to try to shake the haze from your mind, not realizing the man was slowly backing you off of the dance floor away from your friends and down a hallway toward what must be the bathroom. You tried to push out of his grasp, but you were spiraling fast, and halfway down the hall, the man was practically dragging you toward the woman’s bathroom his hands under your armpits. You tried to protest as the door to the bathroom swung open and you were dropped with a thud onto the floor inside, but your mouth wouldn’t move, your brain struggling to send the words to your lips. Your vision was darkening at the edges and you couldn’t make out who was crawling on top of you anymore, or whose hands were hiking up your dress and yanking down your underwear, the elastic burning across your thighs. You moved your hands weakly pushing at the man’s, who slapped them away easily. You hadn’t felt so human for decades, and the thought had you spiraling further into your drunk, and drugged mind. You were numb to the entire situation, blacking out as you heard the clank of a belt buckle.
You were awakened what had to have been hours later by a scream, and water being thrown on your face. You didn’t react, unable to process what was happening to you, simply opening your eyes, and looking up into wild red hair.
“Y/N! Oh my god baby!” Wanda was screaming gripping your shoulders and pulling your body into her lap, struggling with your dead limbs. But all you could think was that Wanda had never called you “baby” before. Even when you were laying up in the hospital with several broken ribs and a massive concussion. It wasn’t like she was emotionless, but pet names were never a thing between you two. What happened? You felt Wanda’s warm hands smooth down your legs and you flinched at her touch.
“I know, baby, I’m sorry,” she replied, an octave or two away from speaking to a toddler. “I’m just fixing your dress.” Taking in her words, you had a sudden flashback to the clinking of a belt buckle, and the calluses on the stranger’s hands. You felt a tear slip out from your eyes, and you wanted to swipe at it angrily, but you couldn’t make your limbs move the way you wanted them to. Your arms felt like they did when you slept on them wrong and it took a minute for the blood to return and allow them to function. You were too lost in that thought to focus on what was happening around you.
Between whispers to you, Wanda continued to shout toward the exit, until Nat finally strutted in, unaware of what she was about to see as she casually came through the door.
“Wanda, what are you shouting fo—” she stopped mid sentence, taking in the scene in front of her, her mouth twisting into a perfect ‘o’ complete shock forming on her face.
“Nat, get Bucky, please, I can’t lift her.” You could tell by Wanda’s voice that she was crying, and by the way Nat spun on her heel and rushed out the door, it was obvious that the situation wasn’t good. The weight of it all hit you, and a flood of tears leaked out of your eyes, a soft moan coming out of your mouth.
“Shhh, baby, it’s all gonna be fine. I’m just gonna move you away from the door okay?” You tried to nod, but your head merely lulled to the side and you tried to confirm for Wanda to move your lower half away from the door, your dignity on display for everyone with your short dress and discarded underwear. Wanda scooted slowly on her knees, pivoting your body so your feet were pointed at the sinks, pulling your dress down the best she could, and smoothing down your hair. You laid there another minute or two, when the door opened again, revealing a solemn Natasha, and panicking Bucky. You refused to meet his eyes as he rushed through the door, Nat locking it behind them for privacy.
Bucky threw himself on the floor next to you, shouting at Nat and Wanda to tell him what happened, and you had the sudden urge to yell at him to stop shouting at the two women, but your lips and throat disobeyed you, nothing but a tiny squeak emitting from your lips.
“She had been dancing with that guy…” Wanda began, explaining that she noticed you had disappeared from the dance floor and had found you laying on the floor passed out moments ago. Her words had your shooting your eyes up to look into hers. You had only been in the bathroom a few minutes? It felt like hours since the stranger pulled you in here. Wanda left out many of the details of how she truly found you, but Bucky was smart enough to put the pieces together, glancing around you and spotting the ruined piece of fabric, bunched up near where you were sprawled out. Bucky let out a noise at the realization that sounded more like a growl than anything else, and rose to his feet in one quick motion, walking purposefully toward the door. You watched him with your eyes, as Nat put her hands on his chest, halting his movements.
“Barnes, stop.” She commanded, using her best in charge voice.
“We don’t have time to kill him, Tony can track him down later. We need your help to get Y/N out of here, me and Wanda can’t lift her on our own.” Bucky stopped at her words, glancing back over his shoulder and looking into your eyes. Whatever he saw there must have made his decision for him, because he stomped back to your side, and lifted you effortlessly into his arms. Despite your broken heart screaming at you to stop, you lifted your head as much as you could and rested it into the crook of Bucky’s neck, reveling in his warmth. Wanda reached up gently to fix your dress and you cursed your decisions hours ago to wear such a revealing garment. Not because of what happened to you, but for the impracticality of it. With you securely in his arms, Bucky headed toward the door Nat unlocking it, but pausing before opening it.
“I’ll keep an eye out for the guy while you take Y/N home. Wanda, you’ll tell everyone Y/N got sick and Barnes is taking her home. I know it’s not ideal, but Tony and Sam will burn this place to the ground with everyone in it if they find out wha happened to her right now.” Bucky let out a low growl again at Nat’s words, but she ignored him, continuing with her plan.
“We’ll discuss what to do when we get back to the compound.” Wanda nodded in response, Bucky simply fixing his gaze on the door waiting for Nat to open it. You let a few tears slip from your eyes as you listed to the plan, the drop of them against his neck making Bucky flinch, which made the tears come faster. Nat opened the door after another beat and everyone went their separate ways, her and Wanda back to the noise of the bar, and Bucky out a side door marked “employees only,” that thankfully led outside.
You figured Bucky would hail a cab, but were surprised when he stepped onto the sidewalk taking purposeful steps toward the Avengers compound. It would be a long, quiet walk, so you moved your head the slightest bit closer into the crook of Bucky’s neck, seeking comfort more than anything. You could feel how tense Bucky was, and you weren’t sure what was making him more tense, the anger you could feel coursing through his body, or the discomfort from having you in his arms. Either way you wished more than anything that you were able to ask what was going on in his head. Almost as if he read your mind, Bucky spoke to you for the first time since your conversation in the kitchen hours earlier.
“I was outside,” he started. His voice rough and full of unreadable emotion.
“I was outside when Nat found me.” You couldn’t move your head to look into his eyes, so you fluttered your eyelids against his neck slowly, hoping that let him know you were listening.
“I couldn’t stand seeing you in that guys arms. The way he whispered in your ear and you rewarded him with a full smile. I couldn’t take it. So I went outside. And he—“ he trailed off, unable to say the words, his jaw clenching.
“He hurt you while I was outside.” You felt Bucky’s arms tense around you as he spoke, and you heard the regret, and anguish he was feeling. But also the red hot anger. You couldn’t respond, even with a million thought flying through your mind, but you didn’t have the chance to anyway as you neared the blue lights of the compound, and Bucky hurried his steps.
Bucky rushed up the stairs of the building heading toward the fourth floor and opening the door to his room, and you were hit with the unmistakable scent of Bucky once again, a wave of comfort washing over you. He set you lightly on his bed, fixing the pillow under your head, and disappearing, returning a second later with two glasses of water and a salt shaker. He slowly positioned your body to a sitting position, placing the first glass of water to your lips, being careful to guide the liquid into your mouth the best he could. When you’d drank some of the water, Bucky placed it back on the bedside table, hesitating, before grabbing the next glass and dumping the entire salt shaker into it, spinning the liquid around to mix it, and looking back at you.
“Sweetheart,” you were used to pet names from Bucky, but this time a jolt ran through you, as you heard concern and love in his voice for the first time in weeks. He looked a bit panicked again, unsure of what he was about to say, so you tried to urge him on with a raise of your eyebrows, your facial muscles unfreezing a bit. Bucky sighed before continuing.
“I think he drugged you, sweetheart. And you should try and throw up to see if it helps.” Bucky was still holding you in a sitting position, but your head felt less and less heavy sitting on your neck, and you were able to nod up and back down once, Bucky giving you a small smile, before hoisting you into his arms again, grabbing the salt water, and heading into his bathroom, where he sat you gently in the bathtub leaning you against the edge to grab some towels from under the sink.
“Okay, doll,” Bucky said with a small grimace. “This is going to suck a bit.” You blew some air out of your lips, and raised your eyebrows again, urging Bucky to continue. He lifted the cloudy water to your lips and tilted your head back so some of it could fall down your throat. Almost immediately, a warmth was flooding to your throat, and your body heaved. Bucky removed the glass, tipping your head forward as you threw up onto the towel Bucky had laid across your lap.
“That’s so good, baby, almost done.” Bucky muttered as you sputtered a few times, dry heaving once more before you were done, your body slumping in exhaustion. Bucky wiped the sweat from your forehead and used another towel to wipe around your mouth, throwing both to the other end of the tub, and hoisting you up and back into his arms. You were dizzy from the motion, but could already tell your limbs were beginning to cooperate, and you were able to hold your head up better.
Bucky laid you gently back on the bed, turning to his closet to get you something different to wear. You were able to slowly scoot yourself to the headboard, a quiet thud sounding as your back hit it, Bucky glancing back at you, a small smile on his face as he saw what you were doing. You still felt incredibly foggy, and couldn’t form a complete sentence, but you were able to move your arms a little, elbows stiff from not being used in awhile. And you could feel some bruising developing across your back from where you were dropped casually to the floor of the bathroom. Bucky returned with one of his shirts and a pair of sweatpants, holding both out for you. You grabbed the shirt slowly, your arm trembling a bit from the motion, and Bucky dropped the sweatpants to the floor, turning to give you some privacy.
“Thank you,” you said, your voice coming out barely audible, like a puff of air. You slowly pulled the straps of Nat’s dress down, setting a mental reminder to wash it before returning it to her, and slipping Bucky’s shirt over your head. You lifted your hips and pushed the material off the dress down your legs and settled the shirt to rest against your upper thighs, leaning against the headboard again. The serum was helping you recover faster, you could tell, but the act of dressing had you exhausted, practically huff and puffing like you ran a marathon. Bucky waited a beat more, before glancing over his shoulder to see that you were finished.
He reached for your discarded dress, folding it and placing it on the chair near where you sat, moving his weight from foot to foot, as he looked anywhere but at you.
“You must be exhausted.” He finally said, glancing at you to see you nod once in response. He seemed to relax at that, and motioned to the bed continuing.
“You can stay here if you want, I’ll sleep on the couch over there of course.” You stared into Bucky’s eyes as he finally looked into yours, before he turned and headed toward the couch. You gathered up all your courage and took a deep breath to make sure you were heard.
“Bucky,” you started, The soldier turning around and letting out a soft “hm?” in response.
“Please, stay with me tonight.” You hadn’t wanted to sound as desperate as you did, but the entire night all you had wanted was Bucky, and that hadn’t changed. When he came storming into the bathroom earlier you couldn’t deny that you were glad it was him coming to save the day. You were far from a damsel in distress most days, but feeling like Bucky cared tonight eased some of the hurt from the conversation earlier in the kitchen. Bucky seemed to weigh his options, chewing on his bottom lip as he thought before slowly nodding and coming to sit at the end of the bed, pulling the comforter back so you could slide down to a laying position.
“I’ll be right here, doll.” Bucky whispered, clicking off the lamp by the bed, the quiet and the dark calming the mood in the room. As you tucked yourself under the blankets and into a little ball, you reached out for Bucky, grabbing hold of his right hand tight, as if he were the only thing anchoring you to reality right now, which was probably more true than not. You’d never admit it, but you were terrified of what awaited you behind closed eyelids. Would you dream of the bathroom?
You couldn’t remember what had happened on the cold floor earlier and the realization had you shivering, and you felt Bucky tuck the blanket around your legs a little tighter, mistaking your body’s movement for being cold. You smiled at him gently, as he slowly moved his thumb across the back of your hand, holding it tight in his own. Your eyelids were beginning to droop when you heard crashing and raised voices from the floor below, where the main living room and kitchen was. Bucky let out a long breath, and pulled your hand away from his, looking into your eyes to see you were still awake.
“I’ll be right back, Y/N, okay? I’m going to go see what’s going—“ you gripped his hand tight again, not letting him finish his thought, silently begging him to not leave you alone. He gently pulled his hand away again, giving you a reassuring smile.
“I promise I’ll be right back. 5 minutes, okay?” You only looked at him, and he leaned forward slowly, placing a soft kiss to your forehead, moving back when he heard another crash from below.
As he reached the door he turned back toward you, uttering out a quick “get some sleep,” before disappearing through the door, closing it with a soft click.
And suddenly, you were alone.
A/N: I’m not sure how I feel about this one, and I’m sorry if it’s not what people expected… it’s just kind of where the story led me, for better or worse. Probably a part 3 coming.
Summary:On a rare Avengers team trip, you and Buck find yourself getting closer and closer. What could this mean for you and him?
Warnings:none; absolute fluff
It was incredibly rare to have a day out with the entire team.
Tony did some research and found a city with low engagement with the Avengers online, so there was less of a chance of being mobbed by people. Tony didn’t say so, but you knew he did the research mostly for Bucky, who wasn’t exactly on the public’s good side lately. You caught him wearing a glove over his left hand more and more when he’d go out, and he cut his hair, surprising everyone when he casually walked into the kitchen one morning, his hair shorter than anyone had ever seen it. He was hiding himself away from everyone, and it worried you more and more every day that you found him punching away at a bag in the weight room, or up on the roof, looking down at the city below. All he wanted was to be accepted, and you could tell he wasn’t sure what to do anymore.
But as you all walked down the sidewalk of the small downtown area, you saw the slight smile on Bucky’s face, shoulder to shoulder with Nat, who was relaying in detail the many drinks she was planning to have tonight (it had been a while since we had gone out). Bucky caught you looking at him and gave you a little wink, the small lift of his lips growing bigger, and you were rewarded with a full smile, which made your insides flutter.
“I saw that,” Wanda whispered to you quietly, snapping your attention back to the sidewalk, your cheeks reddening. It wasn’t a secret that you had a large crush on the former soldier, but still, being caught didn’t help the anxiety you had about whether or not Bucky felt the same way. Some days you were sure he liked you, especially when he sought you out at movie night, or went out of his way to bring you your favorite bagel from the bakery down the street. But other days? It felt like he wanted nothing to do with you, his brooding silence effectively ripping your heart out of your chest.
“Was I that obvious?” You asked Wanda quietly, who gave you a knowing smile.
“Yes,” she giggled, wrapping your arm with hers, “but it’s not like everyone doesn’t know! Well, everyone but Bucky that is.”
You heard Sam snicker next to you and you shot him a look that begged and demanded that he keep his mouth shut. He held up his hands in surrender, and you faced forward again, following behind Tony’s perfectly tailored suit in front of you.
“Hey,” you heard a voice close behind you, and felt Wanda’s arm slip out of yours as she fell to the back of the group next to Natasha, taking Bucky’s spot. You glanced up into blue eyes, the little flecks of gold in the corners standing out in the afternoon sun. Bucky’s deep voice sent shivers through your body, and you tried to keep it together as you smiled brightly at him. His eyes crinkled up at the corners, as he walked to catch up, both of your shoulders brushing against each other as you continued to follow Tony, who was talking Bruce’s ear off about the latest science whatever, words you couldn’t even begin to understand.
As you walked, you were reminded that one of your favorite things about Bucky was his ability to make people feel comfortable even in complete silence. You both continued to walk quietly, content to simply be in each other’s company, something that both comforted and confused you. You were focusing on the brush of Bucky’s shoulder against your own when you heard the scream. The rest of the team continued walking, but you and Bucky stood still, both unsure if you had heard the scream in the first place, with your enhanced hearing. The second scream, had you both sprinting in the opposite direction, Wanda, Natasha, and Sam whipping around to follow you both without question.
You kept pace with Bucky, flying down a grass hill toward a tall building on the horizon, Bucky pulling a knife out of nowhere, unsure of what you were heading toward, and all of you woefully unarmed. As the building grew closer, you noticed a group of people crowding outside, a woman crying loudly, while the man next to her held on to her tight. Nat stopped to talk to the couple, as you and Bucky rushed inside of the building, neither thinking about what you might find inside of the doors. You glanced around quickly, the carpet damp, water pouring from the floor above down the walls and onto the floor beneath your feet.
“Pool on the top floor flooded!” Nat shouted through the open doors, “Woman’s 3-year-old son is in the building somewhere.”
You nodded at Nat silently, grabbing Bucky’s hand and pulling him quickly to the staircase, water rushing down the stairs. It reminded you of the sinking scenes from the Titanic that the team had just watched last week, both Bucky and Peter having not seen it. You hesitated, glancing at the heeled boots you were wearing, and Bucky smirked down at you, before squeezing your hand and taking the stairs two at a time. You followed carefully behind, trying to not slip and fall backwards down the stairs. You might be a super soldier, but you weren’t immune to gravity.
Bucky rushed through the doors to the pool room a step ahead of you and glanced around surveying the scene. Nat had been correct, the pool room was in fact flooded, every surface slippery, as the water rushed out the open door from an unknown location. Bucky looked at you with confusion on his face, and you shrugged, glancing around to find the woman’s son. This was definitely not the situation you were expecting when you heard the scream minutes ago. You strained your ear over the rush of water and heard the soft sniffling from over in the corner. You nudged Bucky, and headed toward the sound, noticing the small boy huddled in the corner, arms wrapped tightly around his legs as he shivered, sitting in a puddle of water. You approached slowly, not wanting to scare him.
“Hey sweetheart,” you murmured, the little boys head lifting, scared eyes focusing on you. His lips began to quiver, and he let out a quiet, “mama,” that broke your heart. You nodded in understanding, reaching a hand out to him slowly.
“Yeah, honey, let’s take you to go see mama.” The boy seemed to consider your words, before nodding, a pout on his face, choosing to stand fully and grab your hand. You grasped it tightly and walked with the boy, splashing lightly through the water. Bucky held the door open for you two, and the boy eyed Bucky curiously, as you gripped his hand harder, guiding him through the water and to the stairs, careful to keep him from getting swept away by the rushing water. You could feel Bucky behind you, but you kept your eyes on the stairs, so you didn’t trip, finally making it to the bottom floor and back out the door, toward the crying mother and father, and your team.
“Johnny!” The woman cried, rushing toward the little boy, who let go of your hand and waddled quickly toward his mother. Bucky came to stand next to you, as the woman cried out “thank yous” toward you two, soft applause erupting from the crowd, murmurs of “it’s the Avengers,” rustling from person to person.
“So much for anonymity,” Tony signed, clapping Bucky on the shoulder, and repositioning his sunglasses, leaving to speak with the sheriff who had pulled up moments ago.
“Nice work you two,” Sam said, coming to stand next to Bucky. “Sorry it took us a second to figure out what was going on, not all of us have super hearing and super speed.” You stuck your tongue out at Sam in response, feeling Bucky chuckle next to you. The crowd was beginning to thin, people going back to their lives, as the police sorted out whatever was happening in the rec center that caused it to flood, and Tony returned to the group, reporting that the sheriff offered his thanks.
“Let’s get a celebratory drink!” Natasha offered to the team who all nodded vigorously, and took off back toward the downtown area, Nat and Wanda practically skipping in excitement. You glanced at Bucky and smiled wide when he took your hand lightly in his and tugged you with him to follow the others.
The bar Nat and Wanda rushed into was small, but had plenty of booze for the team, and Nat began practically vibrating with excitement that they had one of her favorite Russian vodkas that for some reason or another you couldn’t get in New York. Before long the bottle had appeared on the table, and Nat was serving up warm shots that had your stomach turning. After the first four you started dumping yours in Bucky’s glass, giving him a lazy smile, that you hoped hid the fact you were already a few sheets to the wind. You would have felt much more self-conscious if everyone else at the table wasn’t just as drunk if not more than you. It seemed as if only Nat and Bucky were able to hold their liquor, super soldier serum be damned! Before long, games started to break out across the table, Tony and Peter engaged in an arm wrestling match; Bruce and Wanda yelling over everyone about some sort of book they apparently disagreed with each other about; and Nat and Sam fighting over a microphone that someone decided to give to the table, a karaoke machine appearing up on a little stage in the corner.
Nat and Sam finally agreed on a song, both heading toward the stage as the slow music began.
“it’s late in the evening,” Sam drawled into the microphone, surprising everyone with the velvet baritone of his voice. “She’s wondering what clothes to wear. She puts on her makeup, and brushes her long blonde hair. And then she asks me do I look alright?”
Couples began to flood the dance floor, holding each other close as Sam and Nat perfectly harmonized.
“And I said yes, you look wonderful tonight.”
Wanda started to drag Peter to the dance floor, the skinny guy crying that he didn’t even dance at school dances, and Bruce and Tony began to sway back and forth at the corner of the dance floor, drunk enough to not feel an ounce of embarrassment, arms wrapped tight around each other’s shoulders.
You watched on with love for each member of your team, and as the second verse began, you looked up at Bucky, who had been watching you the whole time.
“Dance with me, Buck.” You meant it to sound more like a question, but it came out more demanding than you expected, and Bucky let out a soft chuckle, grabbing your hand and leading you to the dance floor.
“And then she asks me, do you feel alright?”
You were a bit unsteady on your feet, and Bucky pulled you close to him, gripping your waist tightly with his gloved hand to keep you upright, as you held on tight to his right, swaying to the beat of the music.
“I haven’t danced since 1943,” Bucky whispered, placing his lips against the skin behind your ear making you shiver, and you rested your head against his chest, breathing in what could only be described as Bucky’s distinct scent. Something like vanilla and spices.
“And I say yes, I feel wonderful tonight.”
Bucky held you tight to him as he gently turned you both in perfect circles, making you a bit dizzy, both by the movement and the feeling of being in his arms. You moved your hands up to wrap around his neck, resting your head on his shoulder, feeling like you were at your high school prom again. Only with your dream date. A man who saved lives for a living. And liked way too much sugar in his coffee, and watched westerns and Taylor Sheridan movies religiously. You adored this man and the thought had you smiling into his shoulder, pressing your face to his shirt to hide your grin.
I feel wonderful, because I see the loving light in your eyes, and the wonder of it all is that you just don’t realize how much I love you.”
You and Bucky continued to sway to the soft guitar instrumental, loving the feeling of Bucky’s arms wrapped around your waist, and you hoped this moment would never end. You glanced up from Bucky’s shoulder and met Nat’s eyes as she sang into the microphone, Sam standing at her side giving you an obvious thumbs up. You groaned internally, hoping Bucky wasn’t watching the two on stage.
“So I give her the car keys, and she helps me to bed. And then I tell her, as I turn out the lights…”
You glanced up into bright blue eyes that hadn’t stopped looking at you, and Bucky surprised you with softly singing the final few lines of the song.
“I said my darling you are wonderful tonight. Oh my darling you are wonderful tonight.”
And before you knew what was happening, as the final beats of the song wore down, Bucky was leaning forward, pressing his lips to yours in a soft kiss that took your breath away.
Summary: After almost 50 years of separation, they finally reunite.
Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of death, emotional,
This is kinda inspired by the song ‘loch lomond’
Not Prof read so let me know of any mistakes I guess.
The minute steve marched back into the base without Bucky by his side gave it away.
Or maybe it was the fact that he was tearing up.
Either way, she wasn’t ready to hear it.
That he wasn’t ever going to come home again.
Well… at least until they ran into each other In Wakanda nearly 50 years later.
—-
Cold.
That’s what she felt.
The cold that resides in loneliness. Her soon to be husband was gone. She was alone.
He broke his promise.
She knelt in front of the army men, head down. She felt to numb to cry, so instead she just stared at the ground, her throat hurt too much to speak.
Steve knew how she felt, he felt the same way as her…
They were all friends sense birth, all with each other till the end of the line.
He dropped down with her, hugging her shaking form. Only then did her guard break down, releasing a stream of sobs. She’s never cried that hard before.
She hugged Steve back and they both clung to one and other for dear life.
He was going to be by her side through everything… he promised himself,
Which would soon be broken when she got kidnapped by hydra agents.
For weeks he searched,
But once he had to land the space craft into the ice,
Her and Bucky were lost to him,
Until recently.
—————
He found her first, during Ultron, she was kept with the twins.
Having the super solider serum, along with powers of her own. Once he got her to remember him, she explained everything that happened to him.
And then the grief that she pushed down, the Greif for Bucky, came back up.
Shortly after, she went to Wakanda, to be rehabilitated.
And it worked, She was getting her mind back. The Greif for her long lost fiancé never really left tho.
—-
After he found Bucky, he had to make sure he could fix what hydra did before she was aware that he was still alive.
When Bucky walked off that space craft, he felt the air shift. Maybe it was the new scenery? No, this was something he’s felt before.
Steve didn’t tell him she was alive, he wanted to get the annoying fighting out of the way first.
——————
“This is where you will be staying for during your visit Mr. Barnes. I trust you will find it comfortable”. T’Challa smirked as he turned and started to walk back to his home.
Bucky yelled a quick thank you, and started towards.
Suddenly, everything and nothing made sense.
It was her.
The her, that he never got to say goodbye to.
She turned around, dropping the things in her hands, body going limp with shock.
Both of their hair was longer.
Faces older.
But it was him. And it was her.
Their faces both dropped.
They both took small steps forwards, eyes never leaving each other’s.
When they were close, she reached up, and touched his cheek slowly.
His hand gently fell on top of hers, his movements also slow.
They didn’t speak, not for a few moments.
Seemingly understanding each other’s desire to just sit in remembrance.
When the moments did past, she was the first to speak.
“James?” Her voice cracked, as tears slowly pooled from her eyes. His weren’t dry either.
He said her name with the same flavor. It felt different. He hasn’t said it in years.
Their hands began to feel each other’s hands, arms, and faces.
Charmaine is an intern for Tony Stark, soon she meets the team and they become her family. One mission was all it took.
1.Meeting➞ Where Charmaine meets the team for the first time after having a panic attack.
2.Shit Bucky➞ Charmaine cooks for the team and gets to know them more.
3.Charm Bracelet➞Charm gets to know Bucky more and feelings starts to grow.
4.Alright, that’s enough ➞A little bit jealous of bucky but finally confesses his feelings to the guys as well as charm do.
5.Don’t do this to me ➞Charmaine’s first mission with the team but doesn’t end well and the team loses a member.
6.Eternal Flame ➞ Mazikeen has finally got a hold of two of her deadliest weapon.
7.1 year later ➞ It’s a year after Charmaine is fully Eternal Flame along with Cyan. The team is fully accepting that she isn’t coming back anymore.
8.I’m not naming my child Thorina. ➞ Lori does a big gender reveal for the whole team but by the end of the night, Thor and Steve are able to reveal something.
9.Stay ➞ Two weeks have passed and Charmaine tries to get used to being in the house but Mazikeen still has that effect on her.
more to come!
I really want to finish this series and maybe post it on Wattpad. This will give me a reason to finish so you guys can enjoy.
TW: eating disorder. (This is a personal experience of mine except I didn’t have a Bucky or Bruce to help me through it so be nice?) This is mostly unedited I’m gonna be honest.
!Fatws! Bucky x !stark! reader but it’s not really there if I’m honest
Y/N pov
“Hey doll, how was your day today?”
Bucky said hugging me from behind
“it was alright same old same old, working on suit upgrades and more innovative tech stuff.”
“Sounds boring… is it cool if I make us dinner tonight?”
“You never have to ask to make dinner my love I’m just not sure if I’m very hungry today, sorry”
“Is work stressing you out? I can tell stark to go easy on you, would that help at all?”
“Don’t bother you know him, he’s all work no fun. But thanks anyway”
“Well you should try to eat something, you hardly ate anything yesterday and I bet it was the same today.”
He’s to good to me. I’ve known something was wrong for a while I’ve just chosen to ignore it, I don’t have time to deal with it anyway.
“I’ll try, for you.”
“Thank you doll.”
After eating what I could which consisted of four green beans, a spoonful of mashed potatoes and two bites of chicken, a total of 29.25 calories. We settled down and watched a movie.
“Darling is everything okay? You seem a bit off, I don’t know how to explain it but something seems wrong.”
“Bucky, I’m fine I promise.”
I seal the sentiment with a kiss on his cheek and he did seem convinced but left the conversation at that for the night.
6 months later
“Y/N can you bring me the box on the counter?” Bruce asked.
“Yeah of course.”
I go to grab the box but it was heavier than I expected and I fell. Bruce comes jogging over checking if I’m okay.
“What happened y/n, did you trip or something?”
“No it was just a lot heavier than I thought. I’m fine”
Bruce picked it up with no trouble, I blame it on hot head in there but me and him both know that’s not true.
“Y/n somethings wrong and we both know it. Your losing strength and don’t think no ones noticed your hair thinning, you’ve gotten so much smaller. What’s going on.”
“I think you can take a pretty good guess. Just please don’t tell dad, he’ll make a huge deal about it and I really don’t need that.”
“Does Bucky know?”
“No, no he doesn’t. We’ve both been to busy with training and missions to spend real time with each other. Once that ends he will.”
“Y/n you have to tell someone. It’s only going to get worse if you keep doing it.”
“You don’t think I know that Bruce.”
“I’m saying it’s getting bad. I’m surprised I’m the first to see it. Y/n it’s dangerous. Just promise me you will at least tell Bucky. Please?”
“… fine. But if anyone else find out… I don’t know or want to know what will happen.”
Bucky’s pov
Somethings wrong with y/n. She hasn’t been eating hardly anything, I’ve only seen her drink water and occasionally a vegetable, but she goes straight to the training room after and work for hours on end. I’m worried about her.
“Buck… can I talk to you?”
“Actually I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something too.”
“You first”
“You first”
We both say in unison.
“Uh you can go first”
“Bucky… I haven’t been eating. I’m losing muscle and my hair is thinning. I don’t know what to do.”
I was right. Somethings wrong. How do I help her?
“I’ve noticed that. That’s what I was going to talk to you about actually. I can hell you in any way you need me to doll please don’t be afraid to ask me for anything my love.”
“I don’t really know how to get better. Just like, when we’re training don’t let me overwork myself and, if you could, eat with me. I think that would help.”
“Of course my love.”
Imma leave it there because it’s 5:00 am and I have things I need to do tomorrow. Love you <3
ALT
