#only lovers left alive

I left before you won’t go

When you separate an entwined particle and you move both parts away from the other, even at opposite ends of the universe, if you alter or affect one, the other will be identically altered or affected.

Adam, Only Lovers Left Alive (2013)

only lovers left alive: apocrypha

Adam goes on his first date in years, after having been on-and-off with the same person for roughly half a millennia. It goes better than one could have expected.

Chapter 2: Working for the Knife

I used to think I’d be done by twenty, but now at twenty-nine the road ahead appears the same. Maybe at thirty I’ll see a way to change that I’m living for the knife.

—

Lilith stood in the bathroom mirror, trying to figure out a good way to do a half-up-half-down hairstyle. Though, when she’d grown frustrated with her forelocks she elected to tie her hair back with a bandana and tossed a hair-tie in her knapsack—just in case. After a long day of trekking through the city to see historic buildings and local restaurants Lilith was ready to see some urban decay. Though, before they left to meet Adam downstairs, Lilith rummaged through the zipper bag of jewelry she’d brought for her black onyx bracelet. It was a gift from her grandmother, part of a tradition among the women in her family. It was meant to ward off the mal de ojo, and protect her from spiritual harm.

“Ooh, what’s this bracelet?” Calaghan asked.

“It was a gift from my grandma. It protects me from ghosts. Well, bad ghosts.”

“Is where we’re going haunted? I am not bringing a ghost home with me.”

Lilith shrugged with a playful grin. “Maybe, maybe not. We’ll see.”

“Oh, don’t say that.” Calaghan groaned.

Once they were in the elevator, Lilith saw a text from Adam.

[ Adam 8:35 PM ]

I’m parked in 3H. They have the street blocked off for street sweeping.

[ Lilith 8:55 PM ]

Okay! We’ll be right down.

When they exited the elevator in the lobby, they walked out a set of glass doors leading to the parking garage. Lilith was nervous to actually formally meet Adam. Sure, he was nice in the bar. But, what if he was just putting on? She struggled to silence the thought that Adam was just sweet-talking her in the hopes that she’d sleep with him. Instead, she tried to override the oncoming spiral of doubt and anxiety with a song she’d heard playing on the bus radio.

Sarah pressed the button for level 3. “So, are you excited?”

Lilith pursed her lips. “I’m trying to fight off the anxiety, but damn, that bitch has hands.” She felt the aforementioned anxiety dissipate as the group’s laughter echoed off the walls of the garage.

“It’ll be fine. I’m sure he’s really nice.”

They boarded the cramped elevator and Lilith could feel her heart slowly sinking into her feet as it rose to the third floor. “Well, as long as he doesn’t kill me, he’s in the running for date number two.”

“Ain’t that the truth.” Calaghan murmured.

When they got to the third level, they went searching for the H-section. They found Adam leaning against the door of his vintage Jaguar, casually looking around for them. As his eyes scanned the strangely empty garage, suddenly the three women were nearly right up next to him.

“Oh! Hello,” He chuckled, “you scared me.”

“Yeah, it’s my secret magic power.” Lilith replied. “I’m also only five-foot-two, so, there’s also that.”

Adam laughed. He missed a sardonic wit. “Shall we?”

“Yes! I wanna see some bones or something.” Lilith grinned.

“Bones?” Calaghan asked. 

“Well, yeah, like maybe some bird bones. I don’t know where things die! I assume empty buildings have a lot of bones.”

“Is that why they say houses have good bones?” Sarah asked.

Lilith thought about it for a moment. “Huh. Yeah, maybe.”

Adam walked around the hood of the car to unlock the door and let them in. Sarah and Calaghan sat in the back, allowing Lilith to take the shotgun seat. However, as Adam started the car, she was too fascinated by the car door to get in.

“I love your car. Is it an original?” Lilith asked, after finally sitting down and following the line of the dashboard.

“It is, actually. Are you a fan of vintage cars?”

“Sort of, but mostly for the aesthetics of it. Those cars with the glossy glitter vinyl seats are my favorite. Oh! And the ones with the candy color paint jobs.”

“Those are nice,” he mused, as he pulled out of the parking lot and started off to their first destination, “I’ve never been a fan of the bright colors, honestly, but I’ve seen quite a few nice ones.”

“I actually really like yours. It’s like, not beige but a warmer oat color, you know? It’s not boring like, black or blue.”

“You think black is boring?” Adam tried to hide the slight wounding he took, as his closet was almost exclusively black and dark navy.

“Oh, no, I love wearing black. I feel like there’s a million ways you can wear black. But like, black cars just feel boring. Black, white, and blue are just like, I dunno—Kinda…”

“Conformist?”

“Yeah! Everyone has one! Even a red car is cool. The Creator gave us colors like orange and purple and you’re gonna paint your car white? Okay, Jan.”

Adam couldn’t push back the smirk growing on his face. “If you got to paint your own car, what color would you paint it?”

Lilith answered without hesitation. “Green—Like, lime green bordering on neon green.”

“Really?” He was intrigued. “No other color?”

“Well, maybe like, a bright yellow.” Lilith thought for a moment. “Like, the Pussy Wagon in Pulp Fiction? I’d paint my car like that. I’d add flames on the side, though.”

She decided to float a controversial opinion to test Adam’s waters. “Quentin Tarantino sucks but the idea of a ‘Pussy Wagon’ car is appealing—when it’s not driven by a rapist.”

“I know,” Adam groaned, “he’s so pretentious.”

Adam passed. “Oh my god, right? Like, ooh, you had three good movies, good for you! Talk to me when you can make a new Legally Blonde. Elle Woods is a feminist icon and I doubt Mr. Foot Fetish can top that. It is a bulletproof movie.” She paused. “The second one, not so much—but when has a sequel ever been good? Except the sequel to The Mummy, that one does slap.”

“I’ve never seen those.” He admitted, beginning to fully smile at Lilith’s enthusiasm. “What do you like about them?”

“Well, I like that in Legally Blond, Elle has to confront this very narrow idea of femininity she’s been forced to grow up with as part of a wealthy white family, and instead goes out on her own to prove a point to her bitch-ass boyfriend. But, like, along the way she realizes she actually enjoys all the things she was doing just to be spiteful, and learns how to create her own expectations entirely, by combining this hyperfemininity she enjoyed before with this highly masculine space. Then, she creates this space where, even if there are women who don’t ascribe to the same femininity as she does, they can still find a place within law because she is, arguably, the epitome of everything men fear and still unquestionably successful.”

“Is it a drama?”

“No, it’s actually a comedy,” Lilith chuckled, “But there are like, a thousand different studies on what it represented when it came out and why it became such a cult classic.”

“What about the other one? The Mummy, you said?”

“Yeah, that one is more like… What’s a good way to describe it,” Lilith mused, “Have you ever heard of Abott and Costello?”

Adam stifled the snort that rose. “Yes, I’m actually a big fan, believe it or not.”

“Okay, well, you know the one with the mummy? It’s basically that, but with Brendan Frasier and Rachel Weisz and a lot of sexual tension. I think it was the bisexual awakening movie of the 2000s.”

Calaghan laughed from the back seat. “I hate that you’re right.”

“I speak only the truth.” Lilith cheeked. “Like, you can’t tell me Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, and Obed Fehr didn’t stick with you.”

“Stop, stop, I’m already gay!” Calaghan wheezed.

Adam pulled to a stop in front of the Ford factory. Lilith watched his hand grip the stick shift in her peripheral vision. She quickly looked away when he caught her looking at the vein winding up his forearm from the wrist. In the heat of the embarrassment, Lilith quickly hopped out and pulled a respirator mask from her bag to pull on. She hoped it hid the rising blush on her face. 

“Are you sensitive to dust?” Adam asked. The genteel tone was odd to him, even though it came out of him.

“Not really, I just have weird allergies. Like, everything will be fine and then I’ll have a sneezing fit for no reason, and it’s like, ‘Oh, guess what! Now you’re allergic to rust particles,’ or some shit like that.” Lilith waved off his concern. “It’s just easier if I use this.”

He took note of it before leading them around one side of the building into a doorway that was missing its door. Lilith assumed it had just fallen off the hinges, given the decay of the metal and stone around it. They walked in and saw an expansive warehouse full of graffiti and broken glass and metal.

“Watch your step,” Adam said, more to Lilith than her friends, “there’s more broken glass than you think.”

“Thanks—” Calaghan said, before yelping. “Oh god.”

“What? What happened?” Lilith whipped around from where she had been wandering ahead of Adam.

“I saw a possum… Oh god, it was just there.” She breathed in and out slowly.

“Oh, where? I brought peanuts.”

Lilith slowly walked over to the possum’s hiding place beneath a dilapidated desk shoved against the wall. “Hey, bud.” She said softly. “Want a peanut?” She shrugged off her knapsack and took out a Ziploc bag of unsalted, raw nuts. She held one out to the possum, who sniffed it cautiously. “I’ll leave a couple here for you. If you want some more, we’ll be back in a bit. Okay?” She took out a small handful of nuts, maybe five or six, and left them in a little pile for the possum to take from as it pleased. “See ya later, bud.”

Lilith walked back over to where Adam stood, slightly stunned that she’d been so brazen to just approach a wild animal. When he gave her friends a questioning look, they laughed.

“Yeah, she does that.” Sarah noted.

“Our first week on campus, she made friends with a pack of crows like that.”

“And I’d do it again!” Lilith called back from where she was. She was kneeling by a line of desks in a row a few yards away.

If Adam didn’t know any better, he’d think Lilith was a witch. He chuckled to himself and followed after her at his own pace. He heard vague mention of witches from what Eve had told him. Ancient bloodlines that coalesced into great power when put into the proper hands. He lamented the loss of such treasured knowledge during the eras of racist fearmongering that led to witch burnings. So many had to go into hiding for fear of being burned alive at the stake, at the hands of those much stupider than they were. Though, if he was putting any stock in his own perspective, Lilith was keeping it alive and thriving. He watched as she sized up the desk she was kneeling next to while her friends took pictures and scribbled in their notebooks. She let her hand hover over the larger, bottom drawer of it before pulling away and hovering over the smaller one on top of it. Though, she abandoned this one, as well. Lilith crawled over to the other side of the desk and opened both drawers there, lifting the blank, faded papers.

“Are you looking for something?” Adam joked.

“Yeah.”

He was a little surprised. “What are you looking for?”

“I dunno. I just feel like something’s in here.” She replied nonchalantly.

Lilith pulled a small compact mirror from beneath the pile of papers in the larger bottom drawer as well as an empty leather wallet. She took a pocket knife and a few silver bracelets from the smaller top drawer. They ended up on the top of the desk and she tried scavenging for more. Adam was intrigued. Lilith ended up peeling a flat piece of sheet metal from the bottom of the top drawer and found two decrepit copies of Playboy, as well as a few small photos of a baby and a family in front of their home. Lilith took special care to lift these from the drawer and took an extra moment to study them before placing them on top of the desk as well. The photos and other paper items went into a bigger Ziploc bag, and the smaller items into an exterior pocket on the knapsack.

“Did you find what you were looking for?”

“Yeah!”

“Which was?”

“I think it’s the pictures.” Lilith said, oddly distant from their conversation.

“You think?”

Lilith shrugged. “That’s what it feels like, yeah.”

“Hm.” Adam considered that for a moment. Though, while he let his mind wander, Lilith was gone exploring again.

They spent most of their time in the manufacturing plant this way. Even though Adam was the resident expert, they were mostly following Lilith around as she traversed the expansive complex. They lost her for a moment, somewhere near the darkest corner. When Adam saw a flash of light in his peripheral vision, he caught a glimpse of her. She was squatting on one leg on top of a precarious pile of rubble to snap pictures of the graffiti that had been sprayed over the years. Though, he found it odd that she had climbed so high up to get a photo when there were perfectly stupid scrawlings closer to the floor. Was he… worried about her? He couldn’t tell. The thought had crossed his mind that she could get hurt. It made him feel… something. He didn’t like whatever he was feeling, be it worry or confusion or a mixture of both.

“Lilith, darling.” He called out gently.

“Yeah?”

“How did you get up there?”

“I climbed it. The rocks are actually pretty sturdy. Like, they’ve been here a while and they’re not going anywhere.”

“Are you sure? It seems a little high.”

“I mean, I can get down.” She laughed.

He held his hands up in mock defense. “If you say so.” He ended up chuckling.

Their next stop was a concert hall Adam was fond of. Though, he warned Lilith she may not find very much given how hollow the building was. He explained that it had been there much longer than the Ford building and was in significantly worse condition. Lilith didn’t mind. If anything, she seemed more excited to see the concert hall than the Ford building. She let slip a peculiar thought that Adam had replaying in the back of his mind the entire rest of the car ride: There’s something nice about empty, old buildings. If you listen really close, you can hear the past in them. It’s wonderful.

It was much darker now, as if the sun and moon were conspiring to keep something hidden away here. But instead of fixating on her loss of better sight, Lilith focused on the stars. He walked over to where they stood in the long, soft grass and tried not to disturb their meditation on the sky.

“Looking for something again?” Adam asked, as Sarah and Calaghan went ahead of them into the open mouth of the concert hall.

“Stars, I guess. It’s a clear night.” Lilith shrugged. “I remember hearing that you can see Cassiopeia and Perseus from Detroit this time of year, but I might be looking in the wrong direction.”

“Do you study Greek mythology?”

“Sometimes, for fun. I used to be way into this YA series based on Greek gods when I was in middle school. I bought a whole illustrated book and everything of the different myths and family trees. I think I still have it at home somewhere.”

“You do strike me as an avid reader.” Adam joked.

“Yeah, if only the unread books on my shelf heard you say that. I think they’d start throwing themselves at you.”

They laughed at the idea. When their cheerful noise died down, they were still standing next to one another and quietly considering the night sky. Their shared appreciation was interrupted when a pack of coyotes scurried across the grassy field. There was an odd pause, though, as they suddenly stopped to look at Lilith and Adam standing there. Adam knew the coyotes came out more often during this season, so it didn’t really bother him that much.

What bothered him was that the leader of the coyote pack began to approach on its own. It started to approach Lilith.

He grasped for her hand and held it unexpectedly tight.

The universe froze for a moment.

Then, just as soon as it had approached, the coyote was sauntering back to its pack and leaving. Adam released a breath he didn’t know he was capable of holding. Once again, there was that vague inclination to think there was something more to Lilith than she was letting on. He had never seen a coyote just stop in its tracks like that, let alone any other wild animal. His grip on Lilith’s hand loosened only slightly.

“Are you alright?” He asked. His voice was barely above a whisper.

“I think so. I mean, they’re not coming back.” Lilith breathed in and out. “Let’s go inside.”

Lilith began walking toward the decaying skeleton of the concert hall, fingers still interlaced with Adam’s. Even though he was supposed to be leading the group, he simply went along as she began leading him. He was a lost, stray dog following the stranger who gave him crumbs off her plate. They walked past Adam’s car and into the expansive cavern where Sarah and Calaghan were marveling at the vaulted ceilings and remnants of painted accents. Lilith, as expected, walked past the party and tried to find their way around the space. Adam tried to keep his eye on her as best he could. She didn’t know what kind of hazards were littered around this empty hall. Though, while he was standing with Calaghan and Sarah, he noticed Lilith wandering over to one he knew very well.

Lilith felt pulled to walk to a decrepit corner of the concert hall. She followed the impulse cautiously, and tried to tread lightly to keep from tripping or falling. Adam was busy answering a question about the history of the concert hall when he noticed Lilith was missing. He didn’t think much of it. She was probably looking for something again. What caught his attention was that, when the group turned to see where she had gone, she was standing at the edge of the pit where he and Eve had dumped Ian’s body. She was morosely still, staring at who-knew-what. Before he knew it, Adam was running over to her to wrap his arms around her and yank her away from the edge.

“Get away from there.” He said in a panicked, gravelly voice.

Lilith was startled at first, before she looked up and saw someone standing in the pool of electric blue liquid. It was a young man, standing nearly knee deep in the oddly foul pool. His face was deeply pale, with deep dark circles under his eyes. He had wavy chestnut hair, just shy of shoulder length. He didn’t look angry or aggressive. Lilith thought he just looked sad. Bittersweet, even, like he expected his death but he wasn’t exactly unhappy about it either. What struck her the most was his bright yellow jacket. Even when she was a little girl, Lilith had always wanted a bright yellow jacket. Something about it just stuck with her. Though, when Adam had pulled her away, she noticed two puncture marks on the young man’s neck. There were coagulated drip marks around them.

Adam’s touch suddenly felt different on Lilith’s skin. It sparked a shooting pain on Lilith’s neck that left her feeling dizzy and light-headed. She started to go limp in his hold, and couldn’t hear Adam asking if she was okay. The last thing she saw before the blackout was the brief glimpse of the starry night sky through a massive hole in the ceiling.

When Lilith was finally able to open her eyes, she saw hospital lights above her. Thankfully, they were turned low. She took a deep breath in and ended up choking on it when someone at her bedside exclaimed.

“Oh, god,” Gasped Sarah, “You’re awake.”

Lilith was confused. “What happened?”

“You walked over to this pool of sludge and passed out. Adam said it was leftover waste from chemical dumping, and the fumes must have made you sick.”

Lilith sat up on her elbows and looked around the room. Calaghan was walking in with a plastic clamshell container of food and a soda. She saw Lilith sitting up and sighed with relief. She came in with a doctor who Lilith assumed led her to the hospital cafeteria. Adam was nowhere to be seen.

The doctor was pleasant and calm. “Hello, Sleeping Beauty.” He said, with a quiet tone. “We were a little worried about you.”

“What happened?” She asked again.

“Ah, well,” He picked up the chart clipped to the foot of Lilith’s hospital bed, “you presented symptoms of dizziness and light-headedness prior to losing consciousness, so we ran some light bloodwork. There was no indication of any issues in your blood pressure, hypertension, or a blood sugar spike; so, given that all of that was ruled out, it seemed the most beneficial to chock it up to an episode of hyperosmia.”

“Hm.” Lilith responded.

“All that’s necessary is to make sure that your basic facilities are all in-tact, and you’ll be free to go home.” The doctor turned his attention to Lilith’s friends. “It should only take a minute. You’re free to wait in the hall if you’d like.”

They looked to Lilith for confirmation. “Are you going to be okay?” Calaghan asked. “Do you want us to stay?”

Lilith weighed her options for a moment. The smell was irritating, and it made her a little nauseous; but, she wasn’t dizzy until Adam touched her. The image of the puncture wounds in the young man’s neck was stuck in her mind, and that was going to be hard to dislodge without some context. She noticed that the doctor wasn’t wearing scrubs, the way a normal doctor in the ER would be wearing. As far as she knew, she hadn’t been formally admitted, so why would a doctor in a lab coat, a dress shirt, and slacks be walking in when everyone else around him was wearing scrubs? “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I feel okay now, I’m pretty sure there’s nothing wrong.” She looked to the doctor. “If there was, I’d know. Right?”

He seemed to blanche, but covered it well with a chuckle. “Right.”

Sarah and Calaghan left the room, saying they were going to find Adam. Supposedly, he was circling the parking lot looking for a spot. He ended up throwing the hazard lights on and helping them get Lilith out of the car and didn’t think to move it until after Lilith had been seen at least once. Once she heard their footsteps quiet, she turned back to the doctor.

“Can you close the door, please?”

The doctor obliged. “I think I know what you’re going to ask me.” He murmured. “I think you know that I’d like an answer.” She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and sat up straight. Her legs still weren’t strong enough to stand quite yet. Not until she knew what the hell happened.

The doctor put his hands in his pockets and he sighed. “What do you want to know?”

“Adam’s not human, is he?” She asked. There was no dancing around it. It needed to be asked.

The doctor’s mouth slanted. How could he betray Adam’s confidence? “I can’t answer that.”

Lilith mirrored his expression, unsatisfied. “How do you know him?”

“He’s a colleague.”

“What section does he work in?”

“Phlebotomy.” It wasn’t exactly a lie.

Lilith pressed her lips together in a line, trying very hard not to laugh. “That’s a good one.” She took a deep breath. “Look, I’m not gonna narc on him or anything. I just want to know what I’m getting myself into.”

“And what’s that?”

Lilith’s brows knitted together at the question. “Did he not tell you we were on a date? I wanted him to take us to some abandoned buildings.”

The doctor looked surprised, very surprised. “That’s… definitely something he forgot to mention.”

“I’m going to pretend that that didn’t hurt my feelings.” She sighed, “Did he call you?”

“Right after it happened.”

“Hm.” Was all Lilith could respond with. “Okay.”

Lilith got up and tried to walk to the door on her wobbly legs. The doctor found it odd that that was where the conversation ended. “No more questions?”

“No. Why?”

“It just seems odd, is all.”

“Why?” Lilith was confused again. “Adam’s a vampire, and I’m a witch. That’s what’s happening.” She shrugged. “It is what it is.”

“A what? A witch?”

“Yeah.”

The doctor paused, as though he was taking a moment to process what exactly was going on. He shook his head in mock disbelief before laughing. “He definitely didn’t tell me that.”

“He doesn’t know,” Lilith replied, “it’s not something I go around advertising.”

When Lilith turned the door handle and pushed the door open, the doctor put a hand on her shoulder. “Are you gonna be okay?”

Lilith thought about that. Was she? She knew plenty of vampires. She didn’t know anyone like Adam. Maybe, just maybe, she could utilize the oncoming physical distance between them with Lilith’s departure from Detroit to her advantage. She certainly liked Adam. He was quiet and standoffish, but not rude or antisocial. She just needed to know more about him. There were too many questions and not enough answers.

“Yeah. I think so. I’ll be okay.”

When you separate an entwined particle and you move both parts away from the other, even at opposite ends of the universe, if you alter or affect one, the other will be identically altered or affected.

Only Lovers Left Alive (2013)