today is the day osamu confesses his feelings to you. you, through petals in shades of red, confess first.
“I think today is the day Tsumu.” Osamu says softly.
The early morning light peeks in through the windows of his apartment. He’s closed the restaurant today, taking a rare day off. He checked the weather app today too, and it’s a perfect summer day— no clouds, no rain. The temperature is just right.
Osamu never usually cares about the weather, he has other more important things to worry about than whether he’s wearing an appropriate outfit for going outside. But the weather is important today you see, and it determines what outfit he picks out, and the outfit has to be perfect; well, everything has to be perfect actually because—
“What’s going on today?”Atsumu asks through a yawn, scratching his head as he watches the tv. “It’s Halloween right? Nothing too special.”
“Well, yeah.” Osamu says, sitting down on the sofa next to him. He sets his coffee mug on the table and absent-mindedly stares at the tv. “But I was talking about something else.”
Atsumu looks confused. “What else is happening today?” His eyebrows scrunch as he racks his brain for any important event, before it dawns on him, “Oh! It’s y/n’s exhibit tonight, right?”
“Yes.” Osamu tries to say it casually, tries to hide the sun glowing inside of him. Y/N, it sings. Y/N, Y/N, Y/N. “But that’s still not what I meant.”
Atsumu’s phone beeps with a notification. “Then what do you mean?”
“You know that girl I’ve liked?”
“The mystery girl you’re head over heels for?”
Osamu nods, “Yeah, I think I’m going to ask her out today.”
Atsumu paused.
Osamu contains his smile.
When Atsumu stays silent for a beat too long, Osamu asks, “Is my announcement really that shocking?”
“No,” Atsumu starts, “no, it’s just… do you really think it’s the best time to do it today? It’s Y/N’s exhibit.”
Osamu grabs his coffee mug and takes a sip. It’s still too hot, and god, he thinks he’s burned his tongue. “What about her exhibition?”
“It’s a big day for her,” Atsumu explains, “It’s all she’s talked about for the past month. Wouldn’t it be kind of insensitive if you ditch us halfway through just for your mystery girl? We’re supposed to celebrate after that too.”
Oh, that’s right. Osamu never got round to telling anyone that you were his mystery girl, that you were the one he’s head over heels for. In his defence, it’s a relatively new development in your friendship.
(but if he’s being honest, it’s been a long time coming.)
He met you a few years ago, back when he was still just a business student struggling his way through exams in college, and you were a photography student who happened to live next door to him. It took a while for your friendship to develop, Osamu not really being the type to go out and make new friends just because he lives next door to someone, but you’ve been as thick as thieves since then.
He thinks he’s loved you for a while now, but it was the quiet kind of love— the type that sneaks up on you until one day the feelings get unbearable and your heart screams for nothing but them.
He finally admitted to himself how he really felt a month ago. He had wanted to confess as soon as he found out, but the only thing that was stopping him was you. You had become sick with something recently, looking pale and constantly coughing into endless tissues. Osamu had been worried at first, tried offering to take you to the doctor but you dismissed all of his attempts.
It’s just stress, you had said, giving him a smile. I just have so much preparation to do for it, and I’ve barely been sleeping to try and get everything done.
You had this stubborn line on your forehead that Osamu yearned to smooth over with his thumb. He had wanted to help, but with his fear of overstepping your boundaries, he settled for making you dinner every other day, dropping by your house to make sure you were still taking care of yourself, saying don’t push yourself too hard.
But Osamu had seen you, just the other day. You looked exhausted, bags under your eyes, but there was colour back on your cheeks. You looked brighter, like a flower ready to bloom at the beginning of spring.
“It’ll be fine.” Osamu assures his twin. “I think she’ll be really happy, actually.”
Atsumu grunts, and he looks like he’s going to disagree but he says, “Whatever. Y/N’s a sucker for romance anyway; I doubt she’ll be mad at you for pursuing your mystery girl.”
Osamu agrees that you wouldn’t. Especially because you’re going to be in it
.
.
.
Osamu arrives at the studio alone.
He had told Atsumu to go on ahead without him, that he had to take care of something, but really he had just wanted to stop on the way and get you celebratory flowers.
It’s what he’s holding in his arms right now, a bundle of tulips, unusually bright and pink.The florist had told him that they only bloomed during spring time, like the cherry blossom trees. The only ones they had were preserved ones, made from real flowers but meant to last forever.
Osamu was disappointed when he couldn’t find any fresh ones, despite visiting three different florists; but they were your favourite flowers, so he settled for whatever he could get.
Thankfully, you’ve never been the type to be fussy over gifts so he knows you’ll appreciate it nonetheless.
He walks into the studio, looking for a sign that will point him in the right direction. He tries to remember the name of the exhibit, he knows that you had told him countless times before; but his memory is like a goldfish so he counts on something catching his eyes. Trip or tripe or—
Triptych. Decay in Triptych, written on the wall.
He follows the arrows, until he finds the right room, almost filled to the brim with people.
He stops at the front door in amazement. From what he knows, there’s only a handful of artists at this exhibit, most relatively new onto the scene. To be able to garner a crowd this big already is quite a feat he thinks. His chest blooms with pride.
He looks around the room, trying to spot a familiar face, but there’s just too many people. So he chooses to walk around instead. You and him are meant to be; he’ll find you in the end.
Osamu’s not an art student— far from it really. He’s a well-respected small business owner, only relatively new to the restaurant scene himself with Onigiri Miya. It was a hard journey through college, and even harder to try and build everything from the ground up but he always reminds himself of how you were there through it all. How you stayed up late with him often, trying out his new dishes, taking photographs to help with his promotion.
When everything seemed bleak for him, you were there to remind him that he was more than just his career, but you always believed in him. He doesn’t think he’d be where he is now without you.
It’s why he tries his best to understand the art in front of him, all the photographs hanging on the wall. If you can try and understand business models overnight just to try and comfort him, he can try and depict the art before his eyes— he owes you at least that much.
The one before him is about a town. Ghost towns, to be specific. The first picture is a simple one, empty land with trees, and animals and a river flowing through it; a picture showing the world before people. In the middle, there was a built up town, filled and lively with the hustle and bustle of locals. He could see a florist on the side of the road, a small bakery right next to it. And then the third picture, it’s the town on its last standing bones, bare and almost grinded into dust by time.
He understands this one easily, and it makes his heart ache. It reminds him of his grandma who lives in a small town, deep in the countryside where there’s only a few hundred people left. Nobody ever comes to visit, and no one ever decides to stay.
He makes a mental reminder to call his grandma tomorrow morning.
When he moves onto the next piece, he’s taken aback for a moment.
In the first picture, there is a singular white petal.
In the next one, there’s a handful of more of the white petals, all stained with a red liquid? Osamu isn’t sure.
In the third one, there’s so many petals, too many that they have fallen onto the floor. The petals are red. No, Osamu corrects himself, they were originally white. In the middle of all the red-stained petals, lays a whole flower, in perfect bloom. It’s large, and full, held up by a thorny, green stem. It’s also unnaturally red, like fresh blood on snow. But if you looked closely, you could see right by the stem— hints of white.
He realises quickly that it’s a rose.
Osamu only recognises it because it’s his favourite flower. His mother had always been fond of roses, and growing up his father had brought her home a bouquet of them every other week. They always filled his house, all different colours, red, pink, yellow— and his favourite of all, white.
This piece he doesn’t really understand.
Thankfully, there’s a neat little description at the bottom, written by the artist with vaguely familiar handwriting.
It reads: Hanahaki, love as decay.
Of course, Osamu thinks. How could he have missed it? Hanahaki happened so commonly these days, and he even knew a number of people affected by it, but it was rarely talked about. No one liked to talk about the disease that people looked upon as a curse.
He thinks about how personal it seems for the artist, and his heart feels heavy. With pity, almost. It’s not a piece he thought would belong here in this exhibit, but it’s certainly eye-catching.
He wonders who made it. He looks for the name of the artist but—
“Samu!”
You’ve found him.
.
.
.
Osamu’s arms are quickly filled with you, so happy that he thinks you might burst into confetti.
“Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you since Atsumu arrived earlier.” you squeeze him tight, and when you pull back, all Osamu can look at is your flushed cheeks.
“Y/N, I—” he starts, but you spot the bouquet in his arms.
“You got me flowers?” you ask, teasing smile playing on your lips. “I think this is the first time you’ve ever given me any. Where’s Osamu and what have you done to my best friend?”
“Yeah, yeah.” Osamu says carelessly, practically shoving them at you. “Someone was giving them out on the street, so I figured you know—”
You give him a knowing smile, and god, Osamu wants so badly to just get his confession over and done with; he doesn’t know how much longer he can go with this push and pull things you two have going on.
You cradle the flower in your arms, and you look so happy that he can’t help but beam back at you. As you look at the flowers, Osamu can’t help but be reminded of the red-stained roses he just saw.
You wouldn’t. Osamu knows you well; you wouldn’t.
You’re about to say something, when someone calls your name, gesturing for you to come up to the front. “Wait here, I’ll be right back.”
You walk up to the front, still clutching at the flowers and clear your throat. “Hello everyone, it’s a pleasure to see you all here. I’d like to take some time to draw your attention to my work. It’s called, Hanahaki, love in decay.”
“As you all may know already, Hanahaki is a taboo subject in our society today. I know a handful of people who have gotten it, but we all suffer in silence. We all suffer in shame. But I don’t think we have to,” You say, empathy coating your words. You gesture to your work behind you, starting the first lone petal.
“The first petal you cough is only the beginning. And the very discovery of it marks the start of loneliness and shame. You hide it,” you swallow, “because at first you don’t believe it. At first you want to believe that they can love you back.”
You move on to the next one. “But then, the petals keep coming. And that’s when it hurts, it’s painful to see that something so beautiful and pure as love can signify a devastating truth. But you still cling onto hope, even as your body weakens. Even when you struggle to come up with lies believable enough so people don’t ask questions. You cling onto that hope until your petals start coming out stained with blood.”
You point at the picture, to a petal fully red, “And that’s when you ask yourself: what do you love more? What is worth more? Your life, or the person you love who doesn’t love you back? Should you get the surgery to remove the flower by its roots, or do you die waiting to be loved back?”
An unknown voice in the crowd speaks, “Is this piece telling the viewer to get the surgery? To remove the flower even if it erases all of this person’s love, just so they can live again?”
“That’s up to you to decide; it’s open to your own interpretation.”
Another voice asks, “Does this piece stem from your own personal experiences?”
You glance at Osamu so briefly he thinks he’s imagined it. There’s a small pause before you answer, and Osamu feels a vice grip on his throat. “Yes. It does.”
Osamu’s chest feels constricted. There’s an ache there, sitting right above his heart that it’s hard to do anything but process the pain.
He needs a moment. He wants to walk away for a minute, to get air, to get something rushing back into his lungs.
But he doesn’t get to, because someone else asks: “Of all the flowers, why the rose?”
“Because,” you smile, “it was the favourite flower of someone I loved.”
The ache in his chest moves, pushing its way up his throat and this time, he really can’t breathe, the passage of his throat narrowing with every second.
He gasps, loud enough that everyone in the crowd turns around to face him, your eyes finding him quickly. He can see panic in your eyes.
Osamu’s vision starts to blur, his knees weakening until he feels himself falling to the ground, hands in front of him. He sees a sea of red, you pushing through the crowd to get to him, dropping the bouquet in your haste to get to him.
He coughs and coughs and coughs until his throat feels like it’s been ripped out. Tears stream down his face as he clutches at his throat, and you grab him by the shoulders, worried eyes searching his face.
Osamu hears you calling for a paramedic, but he coughs again, harsher this time, until he feels something in his throat, caught around his tongue. He reaches up with his hand to pull it out.
There, slick with saliva, is a bright pink petal of a tulip.
hanahaki disease - a fictional disease where the victim coughs up flower petals (often a flower that symbolises the object of their affections) when they suffer from one-sided love.
even if the love is actually requited, if the other person doesn’t make it known, the disease persists. it can be cured through confession, or surgical removal, though the latter causes romantic feelings to be removed altogether.
! first post of 2022, had this saved for some time, i didn’t feel like posting it, but i read it again today and thought it was really nice, and i wanted to share it too. !
loving osamu was complicated.
he was a sturdy, sometimes mindless guy, despite the calm look on his face and blank eyes. thinking back at it, you still don’t know what exactly hauled you to fall for such a guy; he wasn’t your type at all.
nonetheless, there you were, planted in front of the entrance to the gym and where the inarizaki volleyball team was currently practicing. you’d never been the shy kind, accustomed to speaking your heart out, but when osamu eyed you from his height, and suddenly, for the first time, you took in his presence closer than where you’d normally see him in the hallways, you felt yourself shrinking.
“what is it?”
he used to tell you that was the first time he’d ever seen you - you don’t believe him. otherwise, how would’ve he known what your intentions were that evening as the sun was setting? while your body was shivering because of the breeze and osamu started to lose a little of his patience because he was in the middle of practice and his twin and captain were going to lecture him for wasting time.
despite your poor effort of confessing your feelings for the wing spiker, he was able to pick on it quickly - which only fueled your suspicions that he did actually know you before that day.
osamu turned out to be a little tougher than what you’d imagined. fighting was quite common for the both of you, you were too foolish and osamu too vigorous.
osamu didn’t necessarily live an amazing life, and with that blank stare he always had, you were aware that many things ran through his mind everytime the two of you went out on a date - which was never common, osamu too busy and you slowly realizing how draining being by osamu’s side was.
osamu expected things from you that, in your little experience with dating (zero), you didn’t think was fair. he expected you to soothe his back, put up with his arguments, sometimes abrupt thoughts and continue to come back every time he told you he didn’t want to talk to you. maybe the two of you were too young to understand, maybe it was your fault, or maybe it was osamu’s fault, still, one day you decided you didn’t deserve to be treated that way, and as expected, you walked away.
you can’t really say, at this point of your life you can’t remember. that day of graduation, and the last day you’d see osamu at school, instead of telling him how much you loved him, how much you would miss him, you realized osamu wasn’t the kind of guy you wished he was, and you weren’t the kind of person he was expecting you to be.
osamu was a year older than you, and after suddenly announcing to atsumu his decision of quitting volleyball, abruptly the picture you had of osamu in your head started to crumble, if there was anything left before. it was stupid, you can admit that now - it’s not that the idea of your boyfriend not continuing to play his favorite sport hurt you, but it hurt because you realized osamu would stop being the person you knew and loved, or that you were still hoping to love. as you spoke your heart out, and subconsciously hoped osamu would ask for another opportunity you were more than willing to give, he only nodded his head, and agreed to finish things. that day you realized you never were on the same level as osamu. you realized things were over long ago.
you never heard, or saw him again after that.
that is, of course, until today.
you had a bad feeling, of course you did. one of your college friends had a boyfriend in tokyo. you weren’t curious, that was her personal life and after being single since that breakup, the idea of love didn’t exactly resonate with you. that’s why, when she asked you, begged you to come to tokyo with her, you were hesitant. the city was big, and you didn’t feel like third-wheeling on a couple that’d be seeing each other after so long. still your friend managed to convince you.
of course, she hadn’t told you all the details.
“professional player?”
“yeah,“ she hums, a huge smile on her face. “this is a really important match for him, i mean, the olympics isn’t anything, i had to come watch him.”
you’re uneasy, only nodding to what your friend tells you. in that exact moment you’re unable to remember. volleyball wasn’t your thing, never was, and after the breakup, the sport simply disappeared from your head. still, there was something calling out for you, but you weren’t oblivious to it, unable to drag it out from the bottom of your mind.
you never believed in fate. osamu, for anybody’s surprise, did. he begged you to never tell anyone after he poured his heart out to you, talking about how much he believed every person was destined to another, linked by a thread. you never mocked him, nor believed him. fate simply didn’t make sense to you. because if fate were real, the two of you would be together, right?
it clicks the moment you see it, too late to back out.
atsumu wraps his arms around your friend and spins her in a circle, face full of joy as the both of them embrace each other in such a loving manner your heart almost cracks, the familiar face bringing way too many familiar memories.
“this is a surprise, isn’t it?”
you jolt.
you’re quick to take a glance around, thinking of any possible path you could quickly take to disappear. like a child, you refuse to see it. you refuse to believe you were naive enough to come into a volleyball field thinking that you wouldn’t meet the last person you hoped you’d meet.
but there is nowhere to go, nowhere for you to run off and hopefully forget about everything. there he is, a smile on his face, black hair and black shirt along blue eyes, in front of you. it’s so abrupt you’re unable to react, staring at his face for way longer than what you’d wished to.
“i didn’t know—”
“your friend was dating atsumu? me neither,” osamu lies, speaking a little too fast, he thinks.
osamu did know, actually, atsumu had told him once over text, when his girlfriend posted a picture with you on her instagram story, which atsumu quickly screenshotted and sent to osamu in the middle of the night. osamu since then, would sneak in your friend’s account to catch an update about you, hopefully.
was he still holding onto you? he couldn’t tell. it’s been quite long, and, even though he was at fault, your decision still hurt him. like you, osamu thought, if you were in love, why’d you break up instead of fixing things?
it took him a few years to realize you weren’t the one to blame. you were young, and so was he, both of you with heads full of ideas, dreams, hopes, wishes. osamu had decided his future, and you didn’t see yourself in it, and instead of trying to tell you there was space for you, and hope for you to enter his life, he let you think you were part of a present he no longer wished to live. the both of you were young, and love wasn’t strong enough to prevent the two of you from falling apart.
osamu’s shoulders tense when your face changes, the surprise no longer in your eyes, instead, a look of hurt and hatred - towards him.
“c’mon, you don’t wanna ruin your friend’s day, do you?” osamu chirps in. “traveled all the way here to cheer on her boyfriend, that’d be awful of you.”
“i’m going to the bathroom,” you call out to your friend, passing by osamu’s figure.
he’s quick to circle your wrist with his hand, “i’m gonna go too, atsumu you show your girlfriend the seat and i’ll show y/n the seats after we come back.”
“no, stay here,” you half whisper half yell, glaring at osamu.
he knows, he can tell how angry you are right now, but on one part, he genuinely doesn’t want to ruin atsumu’s night right before a match, and the chance he got to see his girlfriend after so long (he’d been talking about it for months), and also, osamu wished to have a word with you. just a little chat would be enough.
“don’t be silly, this place is huge and you can get lost,” osamu simply responds, dragging you to the restrooms.
it’s silent and you don’t dare to say a word. it’s not like you have anything to say to him, what were you supposed to say, that you hoped he was okay? having fun with whatever path he chose? that you were happy for him despite the situation? as childish as it seemed, you couldn’t lie to him like that. you simply did not care.
osamu doesn’t say anything, suddenly too nervous of your actions. he wasn’t expecting you to react like that, with such little affection towards him, and quickly osamu felt a little lost. he knew it wouldn’t be that easy. it’s not like the two of you would see each other again and feel the butterflies you once felt fly inside your stomach. you were hurt and osamu had changed. was there a possibility to get the two of you back together?
you come out of the restroom after what feels like fifteen minutes, and walk past osamu’s figure leaning against the wall right outside the girls’ restroom.
“hey!”
“listen, osamu, let’s not do this,” you sigh, a hand pressing your forehead as you look around, searching for the way back to the seats your friend most likely was seated in already.
“do what? i’m trying to be nice—”
“well don’t do it!” you exclaim. “we’re not friends.”
osamu doesn’t say anything, simply walking by your side, which genuinely surprises you. osamu hated when you’d say things like that, dismissing his words or contrasting his ideas, he hated when you went to the other side in conversations. but he’s not upset, nor angry, he simply stays quiet, thinking of what to say. you frown.
“we don’t have to be friends if you don’t want to.”
you don’t respond, deciding to ignore whatever he’s trying to say.
the both of you are quick to find your way back to the benches. your friend waves her hands for you to approach her, a compassionate look. it’s not like she knew osamu and you knew each other, but she could tell something was wrong, and she was regretting forcing you to accompany her there.
you smile at her, but she knows you’re not pleased at all. you pat her back and the both of you sit again. osamu takes a seat too, after you hurry (almost run) towards your seats, having enough of his presence. but he doesn’t seem to take a hint, and decides to sit right next to you.
“excuse—”
you grab your friend’s wrist, as she’s ready to woo osamu away from you. you shake your head and half roll your eyes, assuring her. she only nods, and distracted by her too excited boyfriend a few seats down there, she smiles and waves back at him.
the place starts to get a little crowded, excited fans ready to see their favorite team win. there are cameras everywhere, and people running from left to right.
you feel a little uneasy. even while in high school, you didn’t enjoy going to osamu’s matches. big crowds made you nervous, especially when it came to sport events. inarizaki was quite intense when it came to cheering, and took every play to heart. as for you; you could barely keep up with the ball. and while you attended every single game, you dreaded the situation more and more. you’d always have to force yourself to go to osamu’s match, despite trying to constantly confess to osamu how much you hated the atmosphere. you tried once, and after you told osamu you didn’t think you could go watch another of his games, he got so angry, he didn’t talk to you for a month. maybe that was the start of the end for the two of you, who knows.
osamu eyes you from the side. you’re restless, he can tell. you keep bouncing your legs, and searching for the source of any loud sound that reaches your ears. the lights move a little, and people seem to grow more and more frantic, expecting for the game and its outcome. as for you, you wish the game was over as soon as possible. more people take their seats around the three of you, and you seem to jolt at every sudden encouraging word that comes from behind or in front of you. osamu takes a look at the people behind you, and then places (quietly) an arm over your seat, in hopes nobody would touch you accidentally.
but you see it, and misunderstand it.
“don’t play games, osamu,” you whisper, so your friend doesn’t notice the two of you.
“i’m not playing any games,” osamu whispers back, shifting, nervous of your accusation. “i know how you get when it comes to these places.”
you want to roll your eyes, you really do. but instead, something falls from your throat to your stomach, and you wrap your arms around yourself. it’s like time didn’t pass for him, you think.
it almost makes you believe osamu did care about you.
you don’t entertain the thought any further, and to your luck, the game started shortly after the little situation.
atsumu shines as bright as ever, a he always did in every stadium he’s had the opportunity to stand on.
so did osamu, once.
each player enters the area, and after the presentation of every team, the game is quick to start. again, you can barely keep up with the ball and every play, and it gets even harder when people seem to cheer and lament with every move. you decide it’s better if you follow one player at a time, and decide to follow atsumu for a while. it doesn’t take long for you to start searching for another player, and another, suddenly finding the sport a little more entertaining than what you remembered. every play has you gripping tightly the edge of your seat, to the point you sometimes jump a little at every point made, or almost made. you get lost in the game, forgetting about the chaos around you, and the presence of the black haired guy next to you.
he barely can keep track with the game. he would be lying if he said he was just stealing one or two glances your way, just to make sure you were okay. at first, he did only look at you to make sure you were alright, but as the game progressed, and you seemed to get more and more lost in it, osamu often found himself completely lost in you. your expressions, the light in your eyes, the little marks on your forehead everytime you didn’t understand why a point wasn’t given or lost, and the relaxed expression you’d wear whenever they did get the point. he wondered then, what he’d done wrong all along.
osamu wished you would’ve gotten this excited over his matches and plays. he wished you were this delighted by his volleyball, by his team and by his time spent on the court.
osamu can’t help it, entertaining the thought of what if. what if you were still together, what if he had noticed your feelings, what if he had asked you to stay. what if and what if not.
but he knew those questions held no meaning now, because, the answers he would’ve hoped to hear, now would be the complete opposite. you didn’t want him in your life anymore, and osamu knew it would be selfish to beg you to accept him again, to give another opportunity.
because, who could promise the two of you it would work out this time? how could osamu blatantly lie to your face and tell you everything would be alright now, if he himself wasn’t sure he could make it up to you even the slightest.
but gosh, he wants to hold you like he’s never wanted to before. osamu wants to embrace you like he should’ve done that day you decided to say goodbye. keep you in his arms where you belonged, where he thought you were supposed to stay.
the two of you are immersed in different passages. the game comes to an end, and despite the long rally and tired face of atsumu and his teammates, japan manages to secure their place once again. you jump, and so does your friend, clapping and celebrating the victory reached that day. and osamu is still reminiscing, as he watches the excitement you exceed. his arms are open, and you’re a little out of it, jumping to wrap your arms around osamu to celebrate.
osamu and you embrace each other, the two of you for different reasons.
osamu holds you tight, finally.
and you hold him drunk on a feeling you had never experienced before.
but once you try to pull away, and osamu grabs your sides a little more tighter, you realize it. you realize the both of you, once again, are in different moments. once again, you’re not on the same page.
you pull away, tense. you’re upset, but the roaring of the crowd and exciting flapping of your friends quickly makes you forget the situation, as you run behind her to try and approach her boyfriend.
osamu calls out to you as you disappear from his sight, extremely shaken up.
he gets it now, he knows what he has to do now.
he’s not letting you go again.
but it’s not easy to reach your side again.
and it’s harder than he’s ever thought it was.
when he was a teen, he thought he had given up enough for you. he thought whatever he was doing was enough for you. he failed to realize you never asked for much. you just asked for his genuine love and affection, and he failed you every single time.
maybe the two of you were too young, too naive, too foolish. maybe it was his fault after all, maybe he was in the wrong all along.
maybe he just had to work a little harder.
but god was he willing to do it. was osamu willing to have you back.
he reaches you after what seems to be endless, useless running. you’re right outside the lockers, where he supposes you were waiting for your friend to come out. he smiled to himself, knowing his brother and the possible love the both of them felt, that it wouldn’t be soon.
you see him, instantly turning around.
osamu doesn’t speak, sneaking to a place right next to you, leaning against the wall you’re against too. his eyes search for yours once, but you don’t respond, and he chuckles.
“it’s fine, we don’t have to be friends,” osamu finally speaks, barely a whisper, only you and him can heart. “after all, i don’t think i wanna be your friend.”
a/n: i know i promised y’all atsumu fluff, and it will be served eventually, so hope you like some osamu fluff and a reminder to indulge in self-love in the meantime
‘Yer not finishin’ yer food?’ Osamu asks with concern as he watches you play with the remaining food on your plate listlessly, a pained look in your eyes.
‘I’m not hungry’, you lie, getting up and clearing your plate.
He only frowns.
It all makes sense when he catches you staring at yourself in the bathroom mirror, top pulled up to reveal your belly. He watches you pinch the soft plush of your belly that he loves so much, watches your face darken as you measure your waist, watches you wince as you slap your own butt, sighing as it jiggles as butts are wont to do.
‘Do you think I’m ugly?’ you ask, catching his eye in the mirror, voice small.
‘Of course not’, he replies immediately. ‘Yer the most beautiful girl in the world to me’.
But he can see the echoes of doubt in your eyes, the disbelief as you purse your lips in a tight line. It makes his heart clench. He loves you, all of you - soft belly, round cheeks, crooked smile, and just wishes you could love yourself as much as he loves you too.
‘What brought this on, darlin’?’ he asks, wrapping his arms around you, tucking you firmly against his chest.
You shake your head at first, refusing to give him an answer, but he refuses to relinquish his grip on you until you do, so you admit shakily – ‘I spoke to my mum today, and she said I’m looking a little chubby’.
He exhales a sigh. ‘Do ya want me to call yer mum and give her a piece of my mind?’
You shake your head harder this time. ‘She means well’, you say weakly, but your fingers are still pinching your belly hard enough to leave red, angry marks behind.
Osamu peels your fingers away, unfurling them one by one with care. ‘Hey, look at me’, he says, tilting your chin up to meet his gaze in the mirror.
‘I mean it’, he nuzzles his nose into your hair, breathing in your scent. ‘Yer my bestest girl, and there’s nothin’ about yer that I would change’. Then he pauses, a mischievous smile flickering on his face.
‘Except maybe yer habit of not finishin’ yer food’.
You laugh at that, turning around to poke his cheek playfully. ‘But if I finish my food from now on, you won’t get any extras’.
His laughter bounces off the walls. ‘Darlin’ that’s a sacrifice my stomach’s willin’ to make’.
Warnings: Unplanned pregnancy, rejection, mental abuse, confusion in relationships, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, Depression, separation in family, twin brother’s are a pain, A baby daddy, A baby momma, idiotic decisions, regret in the past.
I sat on I desk writing in my notebook fixing the agenda thinking about mid term finals.
“I just need this last part with this piece of information and I’ll turn it in for a presentation.”
“Finally then I’ll be at ea-”
I closed my eyes relaxing for a bit and stared at a poster of my favorite American singer after all I am a foreigner.
“Sigh, I have a headache.”
I closed my eyes dozing off for a bit the lack of sleep finally taking over.
When all of a sudden I head in living room and English song being sound louder than life and more awful than a squealing dying pig.
“Oh my gosh.”
I got up rushing into the hallway and into the room across me while the music blasted.
She looked at me smiling dancing and she seemed to be wearing a man’s shirt.
“Hey! Katherine! I know we’re American but we don’t have to act like they do in the movies! Now shush I’m trying to work on my essay presentation aka Mid final!”
“Sorry about that but you won’t believe what happened last night..”
I sighed annoyed when I noticed something on the ground and it wasn’t just anything.
“Oh my gosh is that a condom full of cum on the ground?!”
She pouts then puffed her cheeks.
“We where to tired plus it’s not like I expect the poor guy to stay a forever virgin.”
“I don’t expect a virgin like you to understand.”
I froze turning away annoyed and slightly embarrassed.
“Oh shut up.”
“In fact (Y/N) I’ll have you know I took his virginity last night! I was hot guy’s first time!!! He totally gives fuckboy vibes I mean he’s on the basket ball team for my college! By the way it was huge!
Katherine drooled lost in thought.
“The way he pushed in and groa-”
“ENOUGH!”
I pinched the bridge of my nose.
“Shut up I don’t want to hear this anymore or I’m gonna be sick.”
“What! It was good sex!”
I cringed.
“You’re both disgusting since you just left a condom on the ground now please shut up and let me work in piece. Now clean your disgusting mess up!”
I turned around heading to my room and heard the cheering of my sister practicing her routines since she was a popular cheerleader.
Sigh I put headphones on trying to ignore her and felt better.
“All done.”
I turned in the assignment before I had second thoughts and look at the time.
“It’s time to go to school.”
I grabbed my uniform from the closet putting on then walked to the living room.
“Katherine aren’t you going to school today?”
She looked at me.
“Yeah after all I am a college student!”
I rolled my eyes.
(What you mean by only going to school to flirt with jocks and cheer like you’re still in high school.)
“Yeah are you ready to go?”
I nodded.
“I wouldn’t be asking you if I was.”
“You’re not wearing your brown hair wig?”
I nodded.
“I’m gonna be late fixing it up.”
“I don’t see why you don’t just dye your hair.”
I glared.
“So do I need to remind you I have to no time for that stuff.”
“Right, By the way did you hear mom say she was gonna come home today?”
“Whatever, what happened last time she said she was coming back then at the last minute a business trip she didn’t even bother coming home for one measly day.”
“Are you crying?!”
She asked me.
“Shut up no I’m not!”
I felt tears slip through eyes before breaking down.
“She’s the worst I won’t even bother about dad.”
“All he does is work! Why?!”
She got up and hugged me.
“Uh what are you doing?”
“Hugging my little sister you could use it you seem so down lately I guess you’re hitting your breaking point”
“Oh whatever let’s get going.”
She smiled while I kept my frown.
(You and me are totally different you know that.)
To Be Continued
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It’s annoying how Atsumu always gets to be the one to hurt (Y/N) first well how about we turn things around huh?
Exactly 11 months and 24 days.
Since Atsumu hadn’t heard from his ex fiancé.
Yes he had been counting and honestly he felt hurt that she didn’t even try to once get in contact with him.
He took his phone out still having her contact which he couldn’t bring himself to delete
He looked at Sana his ex fiancé’s former best friend.
“Tsumu what’s wrong?”
“Nothing I’m just a tad bit confused at the fact that (Y/N) hasn’t done anything to get in between us.”
“Were you expecting her to?”
He nodded.
“She was so in love with me so I figu-”
“Pfft.”
He looked at her a bit confused.
(Did she really just laugh?)
“Sorry I didn’t mean to laugh it’s just she’s to slow and weak to even think about that.”
(Not that she would in fact she planned everything behind your back idiot)
Atsumu frowned.
“She isn’t weak.”
(Oh I know you fool)
Sana knew and couldn’t help but laugh at the pathetic love sick former fuck boy.
“Forget about her Instead let’s go get some cake since it’s our anniversary!”
“Cake?”
Yeah silly!
“Chocolate cake your favorite!”
She didn’t know that chocolate cake was his least favorite.
(Y/N) knew.
In fact she probably knew him more than anyone.
Wait why was he thinking about the woman he abandoned who he didn’t love anymore?
She was so madly in love with him that he got bored and when her appearance began to change she was even less appealing.
He knows he doesn’t regret cheating on that ugly woman
However deep down he knew he fucked up bad.
He’s just been waiting for her to come back to him saving him from his regret and false love.
He’s gonna wait for the woman he loves and will continue to love.
That was his secret.
A secret he tried pushing at the back of his head to he could be happy with sana but the thought kept growing little by little.
Meanwhile
“Samu look how cute he is.”
They stared at the little boy with light grey eyes and (H/C).
He was a complete mixture of his parents.
“Aboo.”
“He’s absolutely the cutest thing ever samu.”
“Of course darlin’ he’s our son.”
He looked at the little boy in the stroller who gave his father with a toothless smile.
“Hey bub how are ya today?”
Osamu kissed his son’s cheek then then stared at the (H/C) woman who he loved more than anything.
“I love ya (Y/N).”
He kissed her.
This was their secret.
Unknown to them a pair of eyes stared in disbelief and confusion.
“This is a joke right?”
He said shocked as he stared at his twin brother and ex fiancé kissing.
“(Y/N) and Samu?”
What shocked him more than anything was the baby in his brother’s arms.
How could they do this? No there must be a reason for this
He thought then glared.
“She’s using him because he looks like me is she that obsessed with me?”
“The brat can’t be mine because I hadn’t slept with her in over 9 months before we split up 11 months ago since I was with Sana.”
Yet the kid resembled him and his twin brother.
However when he saw the brats eyes he instantly knew that wasn’t his or just some random fling she probably tried to sleep with to make him jealous oh how he wished that could be it.
But to his horror.
The little boy had all to familiar grey unique eyes.
“My own twin brother..”
He turned around to shocked and heartbroken.
“She was pregnant when I left her wasn’t she..”
“That’s why she was getting big.”
Her mood swings and everything about her that was changing was this.
He couldn’t believe that the reason was because the child of his twin brother grew inside her.
He turned to glance at her and noticed her grin and smile
“One that she never gave me.”
Flashback
“I love ya (Y/N) will ya marry me?”
He said nervously and full of courage since the previous pep talk he had with his brother hours earlier.
She smiled but now unlike back then that smile seemed cold and fake compared to this one.
“I will!”
He grinned hugging her without realizing the frown she held staring at his twin brother who looked shattered and in pain.
They both were madly in love with eachother and atsumu was a drunken mistake he was the one in the way.
She never had eyes for him.
This was her secret.
Wasn’t she the one who was supposed to be in this situation? Wasn’t she the one who was supposed to hurt all those night she refused him and avoided his affection
Sana was his way of showing how desperately he wanted the (H/C) girl to notice and realize she truly loves him.
So why was she holding a child that resembles her and his twin brother.
“Maybe it was a mistake?!! No she wouldn’t be so happy.”
Come to think of it…
She never said I love you first.
Atsumu felt disgusted.
How many times had she brought his own brother and fucked him in the room that was supposed to be his and (Y/N)’s.
“How could she…”
The worst was to think all those times he asked Osamu for advice and telling him how much she meant to him only to realize his own twin brother who he trusted was fucking her behind his back..
That was his twin brother’s secret.
Another wave of pain hit him when he realized Sana was in on it to..
What did he do to deserve this?
All those flings he had including sana weren’t as big as this.
That was supposed to be him and her..
The child was supposed to have honey brown eyes and belonged to him and her… He was supposed to be his own child not his twin brothers brat.
Warnings: Unplanned pregnancy, rejection, mental abuse, confusion in relationships, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, Depression, separation in family, twin brother’s are a pain, A baby daddy, A baby momma, idiotic decisions, regret in the past.
My sister said in English while my mom stood next to me with a worried expression and a bit confused.
W-What happened..”
You just had a baby so just rest ok?”
My mom said patting my head.
“Take a good rest alright we’ll talk about this later then you can meet her..”
“No I didn’t have a baby! That thing isn’t mine!”
Before I could say anything else everything went black.
I slowly opened my eyes looking at the unfamiliar surroundings realizing that I was in a hospital gown feeling numb from the east down but I’ll take this over that horrible stomach ache.
“You’re up daring.”
“Mom?”
She held a small bundle in her arms walking closer.
“I didn’t know I was pregnant mom.. I mean it I promise I never wanted this! Don’t be mad please.”
My mom didn’t take her eyes off the small bundle all she did was smile softly and then looked at me.
“Mom?”
“Here (Y/N) look it’s your daughter congratulations on becoming a mom to a baby girl.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“No way in hell.”
I turned around not facing her and that thing.
“I don’t want it.”
My mom frowned.
“Don’t say that she’s your daughter.”
(You must be joking,)
“I don’t want that thing near me! Get it the hell away from me.”
As on the cue the baby cried while my mother frowned staring into the child’s eyes glistening with tears.
“WAAAAAH”
“Shut it up! Bad enough I have to deal with pain all over.”
I sighed annoyed.
“WAAAAAAAAH”
“Why won’t it stop crying ugh!”
I turned around sitting up while my mom tried to calm the infant down .
“Well you were out for about a day and your daughter she’s hungry and has to eat (Y/N) so you have to breast feed her.”
“What? Then Feed her!”
“Sigh, I’m not the mom you are.”
“Don’t say that! I will have that creature latch onto my boob!”
My mom rolled her eyes setting the baby on the bassinet and called the nurse.
A nurse walked in with a baby bottle.
“Then we’ll have no choice but to feed her with powdered milk since her mother’s breast milk is off limits.”
“Wait a minute.”
“You’re not feeding her that it gave me a rash as a baby. Won’t that be passed onto her?”
“It’s a possibility.”
I sighed.
“Fine I’ll feed her but use the breast pumper I don’t want to breast feed her.”
I nurse nodded.
….
“(Y/N) you’re awake!”
“Another headache.”
I mumbled.
“I brought food since hospital food is disgusting plus it’s your favorite!”
She set the food down then nothing the bundle is our moms arms.
“She’s not crying today and super calm!”
My sister squealed excitedly rushing noticing the little baby with the pacifier.
“She’s so ado-”
She stopped then looked at me shocked.
“Is something wrong Katherine?”
My mom asked while Katherine shook her head.
“No it’s just she’s got really beautiful eyes.”
My sister set the food down and turned around away from us.
“(Y/N), I’ll talk to you later okay? I-I’ve got homework.”
I looked at her confused.
(What’s up her behind?)
“Ok darling see you later!”
My mother said while my sister nodded awkwardly walking outside.
“Look at how happy your daughter is although what would make her even happier is if her mother were the one doing it.”
“Ugh.”
Don’t you want to hold your daughter?
“When are we putting that thing for adoption.”
My mother frowned.
“You’re not serious my going to do that right?”
I didn’t Answer.
“(Y/N), she’s your daughter and I promise when you hold her in your arms you’ll come to love her I know you wouldn’t be so cruel to give you child away I won’t let you make a mistake!”
I faced her angered finally snapping.
“WELL I HAVE A FUTURE AND THAT THING I NEVER WANTED IS IN THE WAY”
I yelled startling the baby who immediately let out a shrill cry.
“You scared her.”
My mom contorted the baby who slowly calmed down and finished drinking the milk.
“You know she’s calm as a baby I’m surprised you were a little gremlin. She certainly didn’t get that from you.”
I rolled my eyes and covered my head with the pillow.
“I’m serious mom I don’t want that thing in my life.”
(Y/N)’s mom didn’t ask any questions about the father yet because her daughter was already exhausted enough as it is so it should be a question for another day.
The baby girl finished her milk while Jessica decided to burp her.
Katherine walked to her car as soon as she got in she took out a picture smiling sadly.
“Hayato..”
She looked at the picture of a handsome older man who was next to her.
His beautiful grey eyes that matched his son’s.
“If only you weren’t to guilty to leave your wife..”
Flashback A Year Ago.
She kissed him and hugged him.
“I love you.”
“I love ya too..”
“Even if I’m only 19?”
He nodded.
“It’s just your married Haya..”
He frowned.
“I know but I love ya don’t ever forget that.”
“Even if my wife is with me I can’t bring myself to look at her the same when I’ve got ya.”
She kissed his lips.
“Your wife hates me and if your son’s find out they’ll despise me.”
“Both of us sweetheart.”
They giggled kissing each other both forgetting that their love is taboo.
To Be Continued
Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!
Warnings: Unplanned pregnancy, rejection, mental abuse, confusion in relationships, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, Depression, separation in family, twin brother’s are a pain, A baby daddy, A baby momma, idiotic decisions, regret in the past.
I moved my gaze and accidentally locked eye contact with the grey haired twin who stared back what seemed to be a whole before I turned around walking ahead after his brother ask him a question.
“What’s wrong with you Samu?”
“Nothing ya idiot.”
“What!”
They glared at each other knowing what was about to happen I left before a fight could break out along with Akira.
“I’ll see you in class ok?.”
She nodded.
“Okay (Y/N).”
I waved goodbye to Akira and who met with her boyfriend.
……
Osamu POV
“There she goes again just like that..”
Flashback
Multiple bottles of spiked drinks and alcoholic gummy bears with Onigiri covered in Sakē
He pulled her in before they knew it he met her lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck when they separated both equally flushed, swollen lips due to kissing, out of breath, and drunk..
“Ya know..”
He kissed her ear and whispered seductively.
“This is a hotel and I’ve got a room for the night..”
He kissed her neck pulling her closer.
“Yer so beautiful.”
He looked into her heartbroken eyes which earlier had been filled with tears.
“You’ll make me forget?”
“Of course darling what else am I good for like ya said.”
“You’ll be my first.”
“I’ll take care of ya.”
Hence forth he took her both still conscious of their actions through out the night a nerdy goody two shoes and a cocky Jock.
But that night he felt more insecure than he had ever before.. “ A measly one time fuck with an obnoxious girl full of herself could never be compared with her.
She was different..
Even after all that time he couldn’t forget their heavy breathing both naked on top of eachother bodies molding perfectly in sync. The unforgettable scent of her taste.
A taste he could have forever in his life even so unfortunately time was limited which made him prolonged the night as much as he could even if he broke his own rules.
End of flashback
“Samu, we have a game today and ya better not be spacing out like a brat lost at the mall.”
Osamu didn’t reply since he was still lost in thought to that night..
“SAMU GET YER HEAD TOGETHER AND STOP SPACING OFF LIKE A GRANDMA WITH DEMENTEN!”
He yelled annoying Osamu irritating him.
“Shut yer annoying ass up and It’s Dementia retard!”
“What did ya say stupid dead eyes!”
“Shut the hell up of my eyes are dead yer eyes are plain stupid!”
“What did ya say ugh! I can’t stand yer face!”
“Ya piss me off”
Suna took out his phone and used it not bothering to stop the fight while some of the other team members did.
I made my way to the gym since P.E. was my first class of the day.
I walked into the locker room heading to my locker. Lost in thought about all the comments about me being compared to my sister.
“I’m so sick and tired of being compared the her figure.”
“I’m so sick of people hitting on me acting like I’m just like her.”
“Kita..”
I said frowning knowing there’s no chance he’ll ever want me after that night..
“Sigh, to late now.”
I took out my clothes for P.E.
“Just wanna graduate so I can get out of here and go to a prestigious University with a great program from a scholarship I earned from hard work.”
I grinned.
“First I’ll get out of Hyogo and start my new life! I like the sound of tha-“ “Ah..”
I didn’t finish my sentence and was brought back to modern time due my stomach feeling a sharp pain.
“Ah!”
I groaned in pain nearly screaming clutching my stomach.
This time it was a million times worse.
“Ouch..”
I felt nauseous and dizzy.
“Oh fuck that hurts a lot…”
I nearly almost screamed as the pain persisted and went away every couple seconds but came back each time worse.
“It won’t stop!”
I crouch down because standing up hurt like a bitch.
“(Y/N)?”
My friend Sayala asked me along with Akira who just walked in.
“Hey is your stomach still hurting?”
Akira asked me but the nausea along with the sharp pain grew stronger.
Unable to answer I ran more like staggered to the bathroom stall locking it and threw up feeling the sharp pain get worse but this time it wasn’t going away.
“IT HURTS!!”
I screamed in pain gripping my stomach
“Someone help I can’t take this pain..”
“Hang on I’ll go get help!”
Akira said rushing to find the teacher.
“It fucking hurts!”
Each deep breath I took did ease the pain a little but just taking a breath was painful.
“I feel like I’m fucking going to die from this pain!”
I yelled feeling like I was about to pass out not long after a teacher named Yuka knocked on the stall.
“Are you okay (Y/N)?!”
I shook my head crying from the pain.
“Ms. Yuca It’s hurts so much I think somethings wrong with me!”
I then looked at my legs and saw period blood.
No it was more of a light pinkish watery blood.
To Be Continued
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two year after breaking up with your ex osamu you have moved on with your life. you finally get a big roll in an up coming tv show after years of small insignificant rolls. when you find out that your co-star is suna rintaro, your ex’s best friend who you despise, you plan on dropping the roll. however, suna isn’t exactly how you remember and for some reason you start catching feelings.
pairings:suna x fem!reader & osamu x fem! reader
genre:angst!
tropes:actor!suna, actor!osamu, enemies to lovers, exes to lovers
warnings:18+, love triangle, cheating, toxic relationships, unrequited love, (+more to be announced)
taglist:(open)
status:starting after “traitor”
cast
SEASON ONE
episode one
y/n nervously awaits to hear news from her agent on whether she got her dream acting job or not.
You never imagined that you would end up in love with Osamu. Not because you will hate him or he was unpleasant but because you didn’t imagine that you were going to end up feeling more than friendship for him.
You feel guilty for having a crush on Osamu. You shouldn’t have feelings for someone other than your boyfriend, much less your brother-in-law.
You feel guilty for spending more time at Onigiri Miya than at your own home. At first, you only went because Osamu did not want you to be alone when Atsumu was going to play but later you began to cancel plans with your friends to be with Osamu and help him with the premises.
“At this rate, I’ll have to start paying you,” Osamu said one day while you were helping him clean up after he had closed.
“Don’t be silly, I do it willingly” you smiled at him.
“I will feel bad for making you work without any pay”
“To clear your conscience, why don’t you pay me by watching a movie with me?”
You tried not to panic, you weren’t flirting, you just invited him to see a movie, you weren’t out of place …You wanted the earth to swallow you or someone beat you for your idiocy.
You expected Osamu to reject you. But to your surprise, he didn’t. Then you two ended up at his house and as if that were not enough ended up doing a marathon. Of course, you ended up asleep and of course, Osamu was a gentleman and he wouldn’t let you sleep on the couch so he carried you up to his room. Right at that moment, you had to wake up.
“Osamu?”
He couldn’t help but think that you looked cute trying to keep his eyes open.
“It’s okay, still sleeping”
“Am I not dreaming now?” you said confused.
“You don’t dream”
“I thought so because you are carrying me like you are a prince and I am a princess”
Your dream disappeared when you heard him laugh. You felt your heart race. You did not finish enjoying the moment because the guilt settled back in your head when remembering Atsumu.
The next day you two didn’t talk about it. Never did.
You feel guilty for getting jealous when a client flirted with Osamu. You haven’t right to be. You don’t even get so upset when you see thousands of girls fill in comments on Atsumu’s last photo at the gym.
“What is this?” you asked looking at the box Osamu had just put on the counter.
“Open it” you looked at him and he pushed the box in your direction.
“Why?” You looked at the chocolates in surprise.
“You seemed to have a bad day yesterday so I thought this would cheer you up”
“Thank you” you smiled and Osamu did not take long to imitate you.
This time you weren’t the only one to feel guilty. You felt guilty for worrying him and Osamu felt guilty for making homemade chocolates. That is supposed to be a boyfriend, not a brother-in-law.
You feel guilty for feeling more excited when Osamu sent you a message instead of waiting excitedly for Atsumu to call you. And Osamu felt guilty for looking for any excuse to talk to you.
You feel guilty for not scoring excited every day until you see Atsumu again. You are nervous to see it, every day that passes you feel a horrible weight on your shoulders. And you are not the only one. Osamu shouldn’t wish for Atsumu to take a few more days to return.
You feel guilty when Atsumu comes home because you didn’t know how to look him in the eye without wishing that whoever was next to you was his twin. While Osamu feels guilty for wanting to be Atsumu every time the two enter the restaurant hand in hand.
At this point, you were only still with the blonde because you knew that once you are done with him you will lose contact with Osamu. You are a horrible person because Atsumu did not deserve this, he deserved someone who truly loved him and you were not going to deprive him of that just because of your selfishness. So you decided to break up with him.
“Not!” Atsumu said horrified making you feel worse “If it’s because he spent a lot of time practicing I swear I’ll change, I’ll make more time for us, I’ll take you on dates”
“Atsumu, stop, please,” you asked “Volleyball is not the problem. You are not the problem, you do not have to change anything “
"Then what is? I am sure that whatever it is we can solve it ”I take your hands.
You wanted to hit yourself when you saw how Atsumu was trying not to cry. If you had known that they ended up causing Atsumu so much pain then you would never have agreed to be his girlfriend. You never imagined that things would end like this.
"It’s me” you let go of his hands and hugged yourself to prevent him from grabbing them again.
“What are you talking about?”
“The best thing for both of us, for you, is that we break up” you continued as if you hadn’t heard him, trying to ignore the lump in your throat.
“Y / n, don’t avoid the question. What’s the problem? ”He interrupted.
You knew that Atsumu deserved an explanation because everything seemed to look good and out of nowhere you want to break up with him. But you couldn’t tell him that you were in love with Osamu. You didn’t want him to fight his brother because of you.
“I’m not in love with you anymore. I’m sorry” you answered with a broken voice “But I still love you ”
“It’s a joke?” you flinched when you heard the tone that the blonde used. “Are you saying that you are no longer in love with me but that you love me? It is contradictory “
“I love you but not like a couple loves their partner. Even if we break up I’m going to keep worrying about you, Atsumu. I want you to be happy that’s why I break up with you. Atsumu, wait! ” You started to panic when you saw how he was about to leave the apartment. “Don’t go!” You took him by the shoulder, you were afraid of what could happen to him leaving so late.
“Leave me alone” he snapped out of your grip and left.
You bit your lip hard trying to hold back your urge to cry. You shouldn’t cry after all you were the one to blame.
