Argument and Breakup with Suna Rintaro -450 words, pure angst
You have giveneverything to Suna Rintarou.
Worked your ass off just so you can get into Hiroshima University, and move in along with him when he signed with EJP Raijin. Endured bouts of loneliness when he travels abroad for competitions. Supported him in any way possible - cooking, cleaning, maintaining a household just so you can be sure he gets enough rest.
You’ve done everything you’ve ever could. And yet, you must face the fact that you have to give up your place in his life.
He refuses to acknowledge it.
He refused to even tell you about the amazing offer he got to play in France, claiming when you find out about the offer from his frantic manager that it’s a non-starter, he’s never going to leave you. His mother calls you, his manager begs you - you capitulate, as you always do when confronted with what’s best for him.
“Rin”, you plead. “Take the offer. Go to Paris.”
He stares at you blankly.
“Let’s have dinner”, he says, as if you haven’t spoken. As if you haven’t brought this conversation at least ten times before. But you are tenacious when it comes to his well-being, so you set your jaw and refuse to let him run this time.
“Rin”, you say again. “Stop avoiding the topic. You know it’s for the best -”
“Absolutely not”, he snaps, chopsticks clattering against his rice bowl. “I’m not taking the offer.”
“Is it because of me?”, you ask, and his silence gives you the answer you already knew.
His eyes flash with anger, lips pursed to signal frustration. You know you’re wearing his patience down but you tell yourself it’s all for his own good. It’s like amputating an infected limb - you need to grit your teeth and slash at the ropes tethering him to you with cold efficiency, let him spread his wings and seek out a better, brighter world that you have no place in.
“Let’s break up”, you say, voice wobbling but without any room for argument.
His mouth opens and closes and for once, cool, collected Suna Rintarou loses his composure.
No, he manages to breathe, clutches at your hand like it’s the only thing stopping him from drowning. Please, he says after dinner, when it’s your turn to disregard his arguments on why you two should stay together as you pack your bags. Don’t go, he whispers as you finally slam the door.
You barely make it to the lift. You collapse into tears when you reach the ground floor. You only manage to force yourself to stagger away from the home you’ve built with Rin by telling yourself that it’s for the best.
You need to let him go.
a/n: as requested by the lovely chloe @sunasbabie - don’t come for me, y’all requested that i post it today!!!
a/n: this is so so, so heavily unedited but i wanted to get the next chapter out for you guys…. even if it’s just a bit of fluffy filler. but whatever right! but yes, i think there will be a bit of a delay on the next chapter too just cuz of how life is lol but i hope you guys enjoy this!!
Three days had passed since your fateful meeting with Rintaro, and in those three days you hadn’t seen him once. You had only worked once as well, and it was a morning shift, wondering if that was why you never saw him. When you saw him last, you cursed yourself as you locked your apartment door, realizing you’d never given him your phone number, decreasing the odds that you’d ever see him again.
Yet, when you arrived for your first night shift in three days, Alex was there waiting for you, ready with interesting news.
“I think you have a stalker,” they said, with a bit of a dry laugh, trying not to freak you out. Raising your head to look at your coworker, you let them continue. “Some guy keeps coming in asking for you, I was kinda nervous it was Osamu related so I tried not to give that many details.”
“What did he look like?” You inquired, heart starting to skip a beat. If it wasn’t Rintaro, then you were in a lot of trouble.
Alex tapped their chin, recalling the details: “tall, taller than your ex. Light brown hair, it was styled a little oddly, very flowy you could say.” That must’ve been him. It was reassuring to know that he did want to see you again. Alex continued, “he had these piercing eyes y’know I don’t know how to describe them. He’s been coming every night and for what? Like the last three days, and every time I look at those eyes I get chills.”
You were practically too stunned to speak as Alex raised their eyebrow. “Should I, like, file a police report or something? Do you know this guy?”
“Yeah, I do.” You felt yourself getting stomach butterflies. “Well, not well at least– I only briefly met him but he’s a really good guy.”
“If you say so,” Alex chuckled lightly, “but maybe give him your phone number next time you see him, y’know so the two of you communicate normally.” It was almost as if they could read your mind, knowing that you were regretting not having done so earlier.
About half an hour passed and still no customers came in. Sometimes, on weekdays it was like this: a ghost town. Tapping your fingers against the counter top, you thought you were going to die of boredom with Alex reciprocating your feelings.
Listening to them groan about waiting to just close up early, you were about to agree when the bell chimed and someone walked in.
Following his similar patterns from the night before, your friend Rintaro standing there wearing a black overcoat, and an attire you could only sum up to Wall Street-esc while his hair was still as wild as the first night you met him.
The moment he looked up at you, you met his eyes and even though Alex had made it clear there was something off with his eyes, you couldn’t understand what they were talking about. His gaze was kind, and his lips slowly but surely tugged into a smile upon seeing you.
“Looks like Mr. Stalker is here,” Alex teasingly whispered into your ear. You nudged them playfully, leaning against the counter, widening your grin.
“Hey,” you breathed out.
“Hello.” Rintaro cleared his throat, “I’m glad to see you’re in today, I was looking for you since the last time we met.”
“Me too, I didn’t know when I’d see you again honestly,” you laughed, regretting the way you phrased it, not wanting to sound rude. “But I mean it’s okay, you’re here now.”
“I apologize, I didn’t mean to make you stressed.” But you quickly interrupted him, reminding him that it was alright.
“Can I get you anything? Maybe coffee or tea?” But Rintaro shook his head, insisting that he didn’t drink anything of the sort.
“I’ll have something sweet, though, whatever you recommend,” he said haphazardly looking at the display case of desserts. You nodded, mentioning you had just the thing.
Watching as Rintaro found a seat, running one pale hand over the other. He mindlessly stared out the window, waiting for you to bring him something. He hoped that you wouldn’t notice how nervous he felt.
The sound of a plate sliding against the table echoed through the empty cafe, catching the man’s attention as he looked at your beaming face. In front of him was a small slice of apple pie, the cinnamon smell filling the air between you.
“On the house,” you said smiling, eyes slowly trailing over to the empty chair in front of him.
“You can sit if you want,” Rintaro offered and you felt embarrassed that he caught you red handed. You explained that your shift was almost over, looking back to see Alex’s sign of approval as you made yourself comfortable.
“I was thinking about how stupid I was not asking you for your number,” you bring up, not wanting to directly ask for it, still feeling a little shy.
Shaking his head, Rintaro informed you, “it wouldn’t have been of any use, I don’t have a phone.” Taking a bit of the pie he hummed, not saying anything to follow up his previous statement. “This is really good, it’s been a while since I ate anything…. this sweet, of course.”
“Wait, what do you mean you don’t have a cellphone? Who our age doesn’t?” That question caught Rintaro by surprise, raising an eyebrow as he tried not to act suspicious, taking yet another fork-full of pie into his mouth.
He simply shrugged, trying to change the subject, “is your shift almost over?”
You looked at your watch about to say no, when Alex’s voice interjected. “She’s gonna leave early, I can manage the place on my own.” They winked at you, signaling that you should go with him.
“I’ve heard good things about a bar nearby, would you like to come with me? Maybe we can become better acquainted?”
“Sounds good.”
The bar was dimly lit and filled with a sad crowd, which was mostly middle aged men desperately not wanting to go home to their wives. Because of that there was a gloomy feeling but Rintaro surely made up for it, with a slight smile.
As the two of you ordered, asking all sorts of personal questions and if you knew any better, you would’ve thought it was a date. Sipping on the drink, you followed his inquiries with your own, asking Rintaro about his childhood. Although, his answers were always so cryptic.
“I haven’t really lived in one place long,” he explained.
“So you were a military kid, huh?” But Rintaro shook his head but as you looked at him in confusion he changed the motion into a nod.
“Something like that,” he said, changing his answer.
Drink after drink, you hadn’t realized how much you had until you looked at the clock and three hours had passed. Your legs felt wobbly, like you were about to fall over at any given moment, leaning your head against Rintaro. You were drunk, the first time in a while considering Osamu hated it when you went out to go clubbing with your friends.
“You should probably get home,” Rintaro pointed out as if it wasn’t obvious. He looked down at your pouting lips and droopy eyes, he had to take you home, he knew that but he couldn’t stop looking at you. Every time he blinked he could see your past life, in a similar position, his heart feeling a foreign swelling.
He paid for all your drinks without a second thought, putting his sturdy arm around your waist, letting you lean your weight onto him. He grunted, trying to get you to follow his steps but he realized that trying to get the attention of a drunk person was easier said than done. Yet, he knew your apartment was close enough that he would carry you if he needed to.
“This way,” he eased you gently and before he knew it, the two of you were outside your apartment building. Suna had to coax you to get your keys out and to punch in the apartment code which after a scary amount of failed attempts, you were finally let in.
“Tonight was so much fun,” your words were slurred as you nuzzled into the crook of his neck, smelling the expensive cologne he wore.
“I enjoyed it too, maybe we should do something similar but more formally, like as a date?” The last part of his statement was more of a whisper, scared that you were uncomfortable with getting into a relationship after just getting out of one. He also was praying that by tomorrow morning your memories of the night would be hazy and hard to remember.
“Yes, I want that,” you muttered, rubbing your eyes harshly, “I wanna go to bed,” you groaned. Rintaro nodded, promising that the two of you would be there as soon as the elevator rang, bringing the two of you to your destination.
“I just wanna sleep!” You exclaimed, trying to rip off your shirt. Your friends had always told you that you were a bit of a messy drunk but you never wanted to believe them. Nevertheless, you struggled to strip out of your clothes, not even bothering to acknowledge the fact that Rintaro was still inside your apartment.
Standing in the kitchen, you felt a hand on your back, reminding you that he was there. He suggested going into your bedroom and you hazily nodded, stumbling forward.
“May I help you with that?” Rintaro asked and you were in such a struggle, there was nothing else for you to do other than nod and accept his aid. He removed your shirt, leaving you in just a bra as you covered up.
“Okay now turn around.” You could feel the heat rising to your face, watching as he complied. You took out your pajama shirt, sliding off your bra before putting it on. “Okay you can look now.”
By then, you were wiggling out of your work pants, sitting down on the bed. You shivered as the cold air nipped your skin.
“You should get some rest,” he sat down next to you, seeing how cold you were, “perhaps underneath the bedding?”
“You talk so politely, y’know?” You drunkenly snickered, poking his thigh, “but I like it, I feel like an old timey princess.” Rintaro laughed softly, pulling back the duvet as you rolled yourself underneath the sheets.
“Well you deserve to be treated as such, no?” You only hummed with a content smile as just as Rintaro thought his work was done, he went to stand up, feeling you reach for his arm.
“No, don’t go yet, please stay.”
Rintaro looked at you, not knowing what to say, he saw the way your eyes became glossy and he couldn’t say no. This was his chance to be the shoulder you cried on, to bring you comfort that he couldn’t in your past life. He hadn’t realized he’d been staring until he heard your quiet whimper, taking his cold hand into your own.
“Of course,” he said in a soft tone, his voice hushed. Laying down next to you, he tried to take it slow so as to not shake you too much as his weight made the bed dipped.
“I just don’t wanna be alone tonight, y’know?” The man wanted to tell you that you didn’t have to explain yourself, he wouldn’t mind staying until you fell asleep but before he could interject, you finished your thought. “I’ve just been having nightmares all week,” you frowned, “I just wanted to feel safe.”
Few times in his life did Rintaro get the feeling he did then: you felt safe around him? Yet he didn’t ponder on it long, reeling himself back into the other thing you mentioned.
“Nightmares, what sort of nightmares?” His eyebrows furrowed.
“Mmm, I don’t know, there’s a big fire, and you’re there too.” Rintaro could hardly make out your words as you drifted into sleep. He knew it was memories of a past life, and he cursed himself that only the painful ones returned and plagued your sleep. He silently wished you’d see all the better ones.
He didn’t have a chance to answer, seeing as you had quickly fallen into slumber. He contemplated leaving, he needed to get back to his own place before the sun rose, surely you would come to understand.
As he stood up, he pressed a kiss against your forehead, seeing how innocent you lay there, unknowing of the life you had been born into. “Sweet dreams,” he whispered, but it was more like a prayer. He would give you the world if you wanted, even more, he would fight against the nature of his being and lasso the sun if you asked.
you two stepped into the cramped train, coming from the airport after a very long flight. though you both opted to take a taxi, the queue for the taxi was way worse than the waiting time for the cramped train.
“i‘m tired.” you mumble to your boyfriend, looking up at him with your eyes attempting to blink the sleep away.
“me too angel.” he whispers, bending down as he presses a kiss to your forehead.
with suna‘s right hand, he holds the luggage you both brought. it‘s a large black suitcase, and his back pack is on top of it, he holds it very securely. meanwhile his left is laid at the small of your back, kept there to hold you close, and to fend off predators.
“i feel like i can sleep standing up.” you say with a chuckle, but it‘s not a joke. with the fatigue from the long flight, the cramped train, and jet lag: you do believe you can sleep like this.
“that sucks.” suna mumbles, as though he doesn‘t care. but his eyes are already looking around the train for free seats, or seats that will be freed with the next stop. “we‘re going to be here for another hour or so,”
“i know.” you mumble into his chest, filling your senses with his smell, rather than the smell of the train that‘s making you feel worse. “just wanna sleep.” you add further.
suna looks at you, his hand moving to the back of your head, running his fingers through your scalp and softly caressing you. his lips then press another kiss to your forehead.
“you can lean on me and sleep, i‘ll hold you.” he whispers to you, his hands moving back to the small of your back. his hand pats your skin softly, lulling you to sleep.
“but you‘re tired too,” you softly say into his chest, worried for him. but he simply shakes his head and presses one more kiss, but this time to your temple.
“it‘s okay, i can sleep at home.” he assures you, his hands moving up and down your back for comfort. usually, you‘d protest more, but due to your fatigue, you simply nod.
suna watches you softly, smiling to himself before he presses one last kiss to your forehead. he himself might be tired, but he would rather be standing there sleepy and looking out for you, rather than to let you stand there tired with him.
because he, no matter what happens, suna rintaro promises he will always look after you.
warnings: bad writing, cheating, angst, both y/n and rin aren’t that good of people in this :(
a/n:in my angsty era again </3 reposting bc my tags weren’t working. anways this was inspired by (you guessed it) another mitski song! a loving feeling by mitski.
what do you do with a loving feeling?
or more importantly, what do you do with a loving feeling that comes from suna rintaro?
nowadays, you tend to ask yourself that question more often — if not everyday. it’s not as if you’re not used to feeling loved, you are, but almost all the time it’s platonic. and you’re starting to think that’s the problem.
because you know you’re never gonna get used to this sight in front of you.
for everyone else around you, the sight may be a pleasant, endearing, and might even put a smile to elderly couples’ faces as they reminisce about their own youthful days. but to you, it just leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.
because in front of you is suna rintaro with the girl he’s in love with. staring into her eyes deeply as she does the same to him, hand in hand and nuzzling their noses. that girl isn’t you. and that’s the problem.
and although it shouldn’t be a problem for you, since you said it was okay for him to pursue her, it is, because here you are at his and her engagement party, with a gift in your hand and a (fake) smile on your face for the ‘newest fiancés in town.’
it’s pitiful, really.
you should be happy for him. after all, he’s with the girl he loves so deeply, even if that girl isn’t you. you promised him that you’d eventually find your own happiness even if that means she wouldn’t be the root of it anymore. (if anything, he’s probably caused you more heart aches than happiness). besides, the relationship between the two of you (as rintaro would say even though you know it wasn’t true) was platonic. but shouldn’t your feelings be taken seriously as well?
honestly. suna rintaro is quite bold, considering the fact that he willingly invited you to his engagement party. you figured he might just be some sort of sadist. but does that make you a masochist for actually attending it?
for starters, you and rintaro have been in a, well — situationship. it started 6 months ago when him and his girlfriend (now fiance) got into a huge fight. it’s not like you were strangers before that, in fact, you both were childhood friends who stuck with each other through thick and thin.
the only problem with that was you were so stupidly in love with him, and you have been ever since you were kids. the second the argument went down, you were the first person he told and one thing led to another.
now of course, you couldn’t blame rintaro for only making the love you had for him ten times stronger once the situationship started, he was in the wrong for initiating the idea, but you were more wrong for going with it knowing that the feelings you had for him would only grow.
and recently, you noticed him acting strange. ignoring your calls, texting back extremely late, and — inviting you to hisengagement party?
you honestly just needed closure. if he wanted what the two of you had to end, then all he had to do was say so. it wasn’t fair that you had to find out he felt that way through an invitation from the mail.
which is why you impulsively walk to the 6′3 man stating, “we need to talk.”
rintaro’s previous smiling face is completely wiped off, visibly paling with each passing second when he sees the complete seriousness in your face.
his fiancé doesn’t notice, too enraptured by a conversation she’s having with one of her friends. you’re so used to receiving such cold treatment from rintaro in public that you don’t even flinch at his reaction. you knew that rintaro only showed his love for you in private.
whatever the case is, rintaro still decides to follow you.
“hey,” he swallows harshly, trying his best to maintain a neutral, “you wanted to talk?”
it gives you whiplash — the suna rintaro you know, the one you fell in love with, the down-to-earth and always calm rintaro is here standing in front of you like he’s a stranger. nothing about his facial expression currently says calm or down-to-earth.
“i just want closure, rintaro. i promise i’m not trying to ruin your relationship or whatever you think i’m plotting right now.”
his brows raise, as if what you’re saying makes no sense whatsoever, “what makes you think that?”
“that look on your face,” you scoff playfully, crossing your arms together “god, you’re looking at me like i’m some crazy ex. it’s just me, remember?”
he stares at you for a few seconds, mouth opening as if he’s about to argue but then closes his mouth with a sigh. at the gesture, you let out a laugh and suna could only do the same.
“so i’m guessing this is over?”
“i’m really sorry,” he says sheepishly, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck.
“don’t be,” grinning, (or rather, forcing one,) you hand him the gift bag you brought before taking a deep breath, “don’t cheat on her anymore, rintaro.”
he takes the bag, nodding his head once again before smiling, “i won’t.”
for months you’ve always wondered what you should’ve done with the loving feelings suna rintaro has given you. but in all honesty, you’re only starting to think that you should’ve thrown that loving feeling away from the start.
tws ♡ cursing, slight veteran disrespect pfft, hurt/comfort & they get progressively less angsty
HAJIME IWAIZUMI
♡ he ‘s a man so he’d never cry in front of you or need any comfort from anyone besides himself or so he thought
♡ as it turns out, he actually does need positivity in his life sometimes because unfortunately, he feels emotions like everyone else
♡ he refuses to allow himself to be woeful in front of others, for the longest time
♡ his walls will eventually crumble, but emphasis on eventually bc it took oikawa almost a lifetime of friendship to do it
♡ you’ve seen him display every other emotion — including the soft, subtle joy he got when he was chosen by a puppy in the shelter — besides sadness
♡ and honestly he had it all planned out too; he wouldn’t let you see him cry until your wedding, then he will shed a single tear as you walk down the isle bc he doesn’t want people to have too many photos of him crying
♡ but even then, it would be happy tears, so in the long-run he genuinely didn’t think you’d ever have to see him downcast
♡ he thinks you’ll perceive him as pathetic and needy if you ever need to provide him with support, even though he’d do the same for you without a single negative thought ever crossing his mind
♡ obviously, though, this is hajime iwaizumi and things rarely go as planned for him, so there is no way he was able to conceal his tears for thatlong
♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥
he sat on the bus with heavy shoulders, staring up at the roof. his bag was next to him yet it still felt like the world was crushing him with every movement he made. it continued to spin around him and the only freedom he was granted was when you skipped up to the back of the bus to join him.
it was basically empty, so you felt comfortable enough resting your head on his broad shoulder, which he would usually oppose but today it seemed to ground him; for a moment, his vision was clear and the ache in his chest lifted.
until, the words he dreaded fell from your lips, “i’m sorry about your game. you played very well though so you shouldn’t be asha—”
knowing iwaizumi, you assumed he would be silent for the whole bus-ride — just like he usually is after a loss — so you had prepared a whole speech about how proud you were of him and how there is still room for growth; and to be honest, most of it was just fluff to fill the painful silence.
hence, you were surprised when you began to hear quiet sobs coming from above you, you even cut yourself off to ensure you were hearing it correctly; you were. but before you could raise your chin to check if it was actually him, he grabbed the back of your head and shoved you against his chest, pushing to the point you were blinded by his abs.
“iwaizumi?” you gasped, and all you got in response was a choked cry, “(y/n).”
your name had never sounded so similar to plea when rolling off his tongue, you almost felt emotional yourself just by hearing it. however, you knew what he wanted just by the simple utterance of your name.
your arms slowly snaked around his torso and pulled him closer to yourself, and he did the same, but much rougher; for a second you thought you might suffocate in his shirt. as if the burning passion inside him hadn’t died down completely yet.
the rest of the ride home he held you exactly like that. with your face buried in his chest so you could not see the tears streaming down his cheeks at an embarrassingly rapid rate, but you could still feel the occasional hiccup of his body, or hear the sobs that continuously fell from his lips.
you couldn’t offer many words of reassurance, but you didn’t have to. he just needed to hold you. being able to freely express himself in front of you was what he needed after a long day of stifling sniffles and biting his tongue. out of all the places you could go, you were still with him. he wasn’t sure whether to be happy or feel bad for you; in the end, he settled on crying more.
SATORI TENDŌ
♡ being in a long distance relationship was quite easy for him. after all, he could do what he was passionate about during the day, and come home every night to facetime you
♡ although virtual kisses weren’t as good as the real thing, tendou was just grateful he was getting any kisses at all
♡ he knew that long distance was the only way the relationship could work for y’all (for now) and he was just content that he got to see your beautiful face every night <3
♡ but some night are harder than others. occasionally, after a long, unusually stressful day at work, all he wants is to come back home, throw his arms around you and cuddle into your chest until he falls asleep; is that seriously too much to ask?
♡ but then he is reminded of the gut-wrenching fact you live over a thousand miles away
♡ usually you are the one complaining tohim about wanting to close the distance, but here you both are on call at ungodly hours; you ranting about how much you hate, while he is spaced-out, searching for the cheapest and earliest flights to your country
♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥
“and then they told me i don’t qualify for the vet discount because i’m not a ‘veteran’ when i literally saved a dying pigeon one time like— hello? satori? are you there?”
you cut yourself off mid-story as you caught a glimpse of your phone screen out of the corner of your eye. while your glare was previously fixated on the guiltless poster on your wall, it was drawn over to your boyfriend as you noticed his glazed expression and how unresponsive he was, despite how he usually utters a few ‘oh my god’s or ‘you’re kidding!’ when you are recollecting on events.
his attention appeared to be focussed on his computer screen; though you couldn’t see it in the frame, you knew it was there because of the blue light reflection in his glasses. “yes, sweetie?” he eventually hummed in response, stretching out the ‘s’.
“what’re you doing?”
with a sigh, he reached out and twisted his monitor so you could see the bright screen though the camera, “i’m looking for flight tickets so i can come see you.”
you couldn’t help but giggle, “why?”
“work has been getting so stressful lately. i just wanna drop everything and come see you.” he mused, adjusting his screen back and tiredly resting his chin against his palm, which you just knew you’d kiss if you were with him.
he sounded dead serious, and a part of you believed that he was. “tendou,” you cooed, admiring your boyfriend’s defined features while he aimlessly scrolled, “you can’t do that. you know you’ll get fired if you leave so abruptly.”
“don’t care.”
you giggled, mostly because you knew that if you had the courage, you’d do the exact same. and a despite how a part of you really wanted to see him, your rational conscious knew it would be best to talk him out of it. “i want to see you too, love. and we’ll meet soon, i promise! just maybe not thatsoon.”
tendou sighed, his bored gaze shifting from his computer on to you, “i know. i guess, i’m just really impatient.”
“don’t worry, i am too.” you laughed, playfully twirling a strand of your around your finger, “but i’ll visit you soon, no matter what. and until then, i’ll try to call you every single night. just like we’ve been doing for the last year.”
tendou nodded. for ages he’s felt like he’s been running in circles with you, but whenever you look at him with your lovestruck eyes, he remembers how much he loves being withyou, regardless. he’ll labour through weeks — months, years — of work if it means he can end his day by talking to you.
“yeah, (y/n).” he smiled, leaning back in his chair and glancing at photo on his nightstand; you and him at graduation, and you looked as stunning as ever. once his adoring gaze was torn from the image, he tossed his head back and groaned, “i swear, the next time i see you, an officiant better be there too.”
KEIJI AKAASHI
♡ akaashi doesn’t feel insecure often
♡ but when he does, it’s almost impossible to cheer him up; it will be as if there is a dull, grey cloud lingering over his head for the next week or so, until he eventually snaps out of it
♡ emphasis on almost, by the way, because somehow you consistently manage to make him feel better
♡ usually when he’s embarrassed or sad, it’s over something extremely minute, to the point where you have trouble keeping a straight face (but you pull through)
♡ also, as much as he preaches about “communication” and “honesty”, early on in the relationship (at least for the first year), he won’t tell you when something is bothering him because he doesn’t want to burden you with his feelings/problems
♡ even though he’d listen to you for hours on end if you ever needed to talk about something
♡ however, he’s definitely not as good at hiding his feelings (around you) so you figure out something is wrong pretty much straight away
♡ personally i hc that akaashi listens to heavy metal or rock music when he is down lmao
♡ like he needs the adrenaline so he can imagine vivid scenarios of him being a badass or whatever
♡ (he’s a daydreamer and that’s canon bc i said so)
♡ so yeah, when you can hear the thumping of the bass and the sick guitar riffs from through his earphones, you automatically know that something is bothering him
♡ and like you are one of the only people that can try make him feel better without him becoming annoyed or being dismissive
♡ how you approach the actual “comforting” part in whatever way you’d like bc regardless, he’s gonna appreciate it
♡ it can be a bit awkward sometimes but if you put on a movie or smth straight afterwards, it’ll definitely clear the tense atmosphere
♡ but after a while of dating, you’ll both be more comfortable with communicating and it’ll get to the point where he is ranting to you about how awful he feels one second and then teaching you a crochet trick in the next
♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥
oh no, the dismal sound of slipknot excreting from akaashi’s earbuds was back. on the bus home from a practise game fukurodani had just won, no less. what was there to be sad about?
you sighed, trying your best to recall on the events that took place during the game that may have caused him to feel this way but nothing jumped to mind. especially since you were running errands and doing chores for the majority of the game, anyway. all you could remember was akaashi and bokuto kicking some aoba johsai ass. perhaps he just felt bad for the losing team?
however, you knew it wasn’t a smart idea to make assumptions, so you simply tapped his shoulder, a small smile gracing your lips as he pulled out one of his earbuds and turned to look at you expectantly. “hm? are you alright?”
“i’m great, keiji. just so proud of you!” you cupped his hands and squeezed them tightly, causing him to wince slightly then chuckle out a “thanks”. “how’re youfeeling?”
the smile he wore was the most artificial you’ve ever seen on him, “i’m fine.”
“are you sure?”
“yeah.” he replied with a quirked brow in shaky tone, almost as if he was asking you a question right back.
though you hated to pry, you felt as though you didn’t have any other option, “really? you seem bummed, even after you won.”
there was a tense silence; which was only heightened by how every other member of fukurodani was asleep, leaving the only noise in the air to be bokuto’s hellish snores and the faint sound of heavy metal still leaking from his earbuds.
realising there was no use in hiding it anymore, he choked out the first sentence to his story, with a sigh, “do you remember when that oikawa dude from seijoh was chatting with bokuto?”
you hummed a response, and he continued, “well, i was sitting on the bench near his water bottle and when he asked me to bring it over to him, he called me ‘iwa’.”
his story was followed by another few moments of brimming silence. the only thing prompting him to break it was your absolutely clueless expression, “as in, short for ‘iwaizumi’.”
nothing.
“like, y’know, aoba johsai’s number four.” forcing the brief pre-match introductions back to mind, you could vaguely recall the two “stars” of the seijoh team: a confident setter and a rather irritable wing spiker. you figured the latter was iwaizumi since the captain didn’t resemble akaashi in the slightest.
you were beginning to feel bad for not understanding what the issue was and why akaashi was so bummed over it, but from what you could tell, akaashi was simply called the wrong name. “so, whatexactly is the problem? was oikawa rude to you or?”
akaashi blinked a few times then proceeded to roll his eyes, casting his gaze out the bus window as if he was an angsty teen disturbed by their parent’s lack of sympathy, “it kinda implies that look like him. and i really don’t.”
you hummed in agreement, “yeah, you’re right. but is there anything wrong with looking like iwaizumi?”
it was more of a rhetorical question that you asked to prove to akaashi that he looked just fine, so you definitely were not expecting him to turn to you with foggy eyes and mutter, “i don’t think you want my honest answer.”
a chocked cackle escaped your lips before you hastily slapped a hand over your mouth, to ensure you wouldn’t wake up any of the sleeping fukordani members, but akaashi simply made it worse laughing his breathy laugh which made everything ten times funnier for no reason. thus, it eventually got to the point where you were both hunched over each other, wheezing while attempting to make minimal noise for the sake of the others.
honestly, who would’ve guess that his first time saying “i love you” would be while stifling snickers in the backseat of a bus, after accidentally insulting a player from another team?
RINTARŌ SUNA
♡ it’d take a while before suna is comfortable expressing too much emotion around you
♡ like for the first six months of the relationship, he doesn’t want to freak you out or scare you off by even implying that he is the slightest bit emotional, so he tends to keep his issues closed-off
♡ but once he’s established that he can trust you (probably after you say ‘i love you’ for the first time, he seems like a bit of a sap) and that you won’t leave him, no matter how overwhelming his feelings can become, he’ll make up for every time he’s refused to talk to you about his problems in less than a night
♡ like he might just unload on you all at once so be ready for that
♡ he had mastered the art of keeping his feelings bottled up and before now, his main medium of releasing this stress was through the internet (o, the glory of online anonymity; no one will ever find his secret vent twitter acc and know it’s him)
♡ but now that he met you — someone who he trusts greatly, and is willing to listen to him — he is able to bring out a side of him, that only his 5 twitter followers have ever seen
♡ it’s not exactly a “bad” side, but it’s definitely more unfiltered
♡ and he only acts like that in front of you, so when you go back out in public, he immediately reverts to his normal-self; it’s almost scary
♡ like during practise, he’ll act as if he didn’t make you endure three consecutive hours of him ranting about how much he hates volley and his team, and continue playing as normal….
♡ (he doesn’t actually hate em btw, he probably just mad bc the third years refused to give him the chem test answers </3)
♡ however most of the time his “venting” isn’t as much venting as it is him cuddling you from behind and murmuring complaints about life into your shoulder
♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥
“i just feel like i am holding them back.” he groaned, trying to toss his head back and groan dramatically but his attempt with swiftly followed by your palm gently colliding with the back of his head as your other fingers with intertwined in his hair, creating cute designs with his soft locks while he rested between your thighs, facing the TV which simply played a background noise, at this point.
you scoffed, continuing to run your brush through his tangled hair, growing slightly more aggressive with each comb, “holding them back? i think you’re the best player on the team. they wouldn’t be able to play without you.”
“of course you think that, we’re literally dating.”
you tutted, leaning forward and over his head until he could see your face dangling in front of his. it was creepy at first, but after you placed a kiss on his nose, he got over it. “well, i used to think aran or kita were the best on the team but now i’ve come to realise that it might be you.”
“what do you mean ‘might be’ ?!” he spat in response, and although he sounded hostile, the effect was dulled by the soft red tint dusting across his cheeks. he’d argue the pigment was caused by rage, but you knew better than to believe him.
TŌRU OIKAWA
♡ dating oikawa is like 80% hurt/comfort, 10% cutesy couple things and 10% PDA so his fangirls catch the hint
♡ okok jk but also kinda not
♡ like mutual motivation and comfort is such a big thing in a relationship with oikawa, you’re basically like each other’s really bad therapists
♡ it’s cute tho
♡ if you are ranting to him over text, regardless of how late at night it is, he will drive to your house in his shitty lil honda and take you to your fav drive-thru or just drive around with you
♡ and if he’s complaining to you then he let’s you play with his hair while he does so
♡ (actually he prefers it if you play with his hair)
♡ usually it’s just him whining and y’all just joke about it but when he starts discussing volleyball, it is bound to get heated
♡ like one second he’ll be saying “yeah midterms were so tricky but whatever it’s cool” and the next, all hell and broken loose, “I’D RATHER EAT MY OWN FOOT THAN GO TO SHIRATORIZAWA death to them all!!”
♡ obviously he was joking with that last part (referencing that wendy williams tt sound lol) but that first part was dead serious
♡ ngl sometimes he just gets mad over little things though bc he loves seeing you get angry with him… like something about watching you yell about a non-existent problem just to make please him, makes him feel so….. loved???
♡ he just likes knowing that you support him so much, and that you can emphasise with him on such a dear level
♡ you are the only person that could say “you should’ve gone to shiratorizawa” to him, without getting beat up
♡ if he were to tell anyone about all the horrible things people have said to him, or that go on in his head, it would be you
♡ bc not only does he trust you the most, you’d probably be the most likely to care and understand
♡ (he trusts iwa but he already knows hhh)
♡ (maybe my head is too far in fanon but i think hanamatsu would send him “emo ⛓“ edits or instagram quotes after/if oikawa told them he cried about not going to nationals)
♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥
“i don’t know why people make up rumours like that.” oikawa stated while chewing on his fries, watery eyes anxiously shifting between you and the take-away bag that rested on the centre console. “it’s so stupid.”
“you’re totally right!” you rapidly nodded your head in agreement and said through a mouthful of fries, covering your mouth with your hand to at least maintain some manners, “who looks at a dude wearing two different kneepads and immediately thinks ‘oh shit that dude must have a fucked up knee?’. so weird.”
“so weird.” he sighed, placing a hand on his knee with a rather sulken expression, which fortunately didn’t last for very long as it was instantly pulled into a light smile as your hand slipped into his, intertwining your fingers while tracing patterns with his own fingers against his skin.
“i find whoever started that rumour, there gonna get one of these:” you started, and as oikawa turned his to observe your demonstration, he was almost striked in the face by your aggressive swinging, followed by giggles of “sorry!”
as he muttered “it’s okay” several times, he still laughed as you continued giggling and eventually found yourself hunched over from the painful bliss, with your face buried into his chest as he stroked your hair lightly.
“i’m sure that’ll put an end to them, (y/n). thank you.” you could tell by his tone that he was joking, but by the way he punctuated his final sentence with a gentle kiss to your forehead, you could tell there was some sincerity in his gratitude.
you’re constantly being bugged by your parents to get in a relationship and suna needs to be married to get his inheritance. already being close friends, he poses that you two both get married to get your parents off your backs. this arrangement would’ve been easy and simple if you hadn’t fell in love with him, despite him being in a real committed relationship.
pairing : suna x fem!reader
genre & tropes : angst, very 18+, unrequited love, marriage of convenience
warnings : toxic relationships, cheating, toxic parents (+ more to be announced)
summary: visiting your parents while home from college should be stress free, unfortunately when you’re 25 and not even dating anyone that’s all your parents can even talk about.
Warnings: Unplanned pregnancy, rejection, mental abuse, confusion in relationships, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, Depression, separation in family, twin brother’s are a pain, A baby daddy, A baby momma, idiotic decisions, regret in the past.
My sister said in English while my mom stood next to me with a worried expression and a bit confused.
W-What happened..”
You just had a baby so just rest ok?”
My mom said patting my head.
“Take a good rest alright we’ll talk about this later then you can meet her..”
“No I didn’t have a baby! That thing isn’t mine!”
Before I could say anything else everything went black.
I slowly opened my eyes looking at the unfamiliar surroundings realizing that I was in a hospital gown feeling numb from the east down but I’ll take this over that horrible stomach ache.
“You’re up daring.”
“Mom?”
She held a small bundle in her arms walking closer.
“I didn’t know I was pregnant mom.. I mean it I promise I never wanted this! Don’t be mad please.”
My mom didn’t take her eyes off the small bundle all she did was smile softly and then looked at me.
“Mom?”
“Here (Y/N) look it’s your daughter congratulations on becoming a mom to a baby girl.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“No way in hell.”
I turned around not facing her and that thing.
“I don’t want it.”
My mom frowned.
“Don’t say that she’s your daughter.”
(You must be joking,)
“I don’t want that thing near me! Get it the hell away from me.”
As on the cue the baby cried while my mother frowned staring into the child’s eyes glistening with tears.
“WAAAAAH”
“Shut it up! Bad enough I have to deal with pain all over.”
I sighed annoyed.
“WAAAAAAAAH”
“Why won’t it stop crying ugh!”
I turned around sitting up while my mom tried to calm the infant down .
“Well you were out for about a day and your daughter she’s hungry and has to eat (Y/N) so you have to breast feed her.”
“What? Then Feed her!”
“Sigh, I’m not the mom you are.”
“Don’t say that! I will have that creature latch onto my boob!”
My mom rolled her eyes setting the baby on the bassinet and called the nurse.
A nurse walked in with a baby bottle.
“Then we’ll have no choice but to feed her with powdered milk since her mother’s breast milk is off limits.”
“Wait a minute.”
“You’re not feeding her that it gave me a rash as a baby. Won’t that be passed onto her?”
“It’s a possibility.”
I sighed.
“Fine I’ll feed her but use the breast pumper I don’t want to breast feed her.”
I nurse nodded.
….
“(Y/N) you’re awake!”
“Another headache.”
I mumbled.
“I brought food since hospital food is disgusting plus it’s your favorite!”
She set the food down then nothing the bundle is our moms arms.
“She’s not crying today and super calm!”
My sister squealed excitedly rushing noticing the little baby with the pacifier.
“She’s so ado-”
She stopped then looked at me shocked.
“Is something wrong Katherine?”
My mom asked while Katherine shook her head.
“No it’s just she’s got really beautiful eyes.”
My sister set the food down and turned around away from us.
“(Y/N), I’ll talk to you later okay? I-I’ve got homework.”
I looked at her confused.
(What’s up her behind?)
“Ok darling see you later!”
My mother said while my sister nodded awkwardly walking outside.
“Look at how happy your daughter is although what would make her even happier is if her mother were the one doing it.”
“Ugh.”
Don’t you want to hold your daughter?
“When are we putting that thing for adoption.”
My mother frowned.
“You’re not serious my going to do that right?”
I didn’t Answer.
“(Y/N), she’s your daughter and I promise when you hold her in your arms you’ll come to love her I know you wouldn’t be so cruel to give you child away I won’t let you make a mistake!”
I faced her angered finally snapping.
“WELL I HAVE A FUTURE AND THAT THING I NEVER WANTED IS IN THE WAY”
I yelled startling the baby who immediately let out a shrill cry.
“You scared her.”
My mom contorted the baby who slowly calmed down and finished drinking the milk.
“You know she’s calm as a baby I’m surprised you were a little gremlin. She certainly didn’t get that from you.”
I rolled my eyes and covered my head with the pillow.
“I’m serious mom I don’t want that thing in my life.”
(Y/N)’s mom didn’t ask any questions about the father yet because her daughter was already exhausted enough as it is so it should be a question for another day.
The baby girl finished her milk while Jessica decided to burp her.
Katherine walked to her car as soon as she got in she took out a picture smiling sadly.
“Hayato..”
She looked at the picture of a handsome older man who was next to her.
His beautiful grey eyes that matched his son’s.
“If only you weren’t to guilty to leave your wife..”
Flashback A Year Ago.
She kissed him and hugged him.
“I love you.”
“I love ya too..”
“Even if I’m only 19?”
He nodded.
“It’s just your married Haya..”
He frowned.
“I know but I love ya don’t ever forget that.”
“Even if my wife is with me I can’t bring myself to look at her the same when I’ve got ya.”
She kissed his lips.
“Your wife hates me and if your son’s find out they’ll despise me.”
“Both of us sweetheart.”
They giggled kissing each other both forgetting that their love is taboo.
To Be Continued
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The apartment is quiet when Suna steps inside, just like it has been for the past four months.
Part of him still expects you to be there when he walks inside, greeting him with an embrace, a kiss, a sly comment or two—or, for the few months before your breakup, a nervous smile.
Can he even call it a breakup if you left with no word, blocking him on every single avenue and ghosting him without even a damn conversation?
Suna knows he did wrong. He realized it the moment you texted telling him to call you. If he’s honest with himself, he knew it before then too. He saw the way your smiles grew more anxious, more nervous. The way your touches lingered over his shoulder and arms when normally, he’d have to beg you to let go. The way you went to bed earlier than normal so you’d stop looking over your shoulder every time he picked up his phone.
You said you couldn’t trust him, and at first he didn’t believe it. But then all the evidence added up into one big ‘fuck you, Suna Rintarou’ moment the second he walked into the empty apartment: you didn’t trust him because he made you not trust him.
He knows all of that clearly now, because the deafening silence in the house reminds him of it every time he steps inside.
that’s what suna thinks, at least—when he’s staring at your face, adorned with the light glow of the fairy lights above; his hands in a gentle grip around your waist as you sway.
your eyes look the saddest, though. mellow and tired, if he looks hard enough maybe he’ll see the way they’re glossing over with unshed tears, and really, you wonder if he sees or if he can tell at all.
but you breathe, let the cool air dry it out as you try to keep your hands from trembling from where they rest on his shoulders. the song playing doesn’t help your case though, even as you try to block it out.
you keep smiling anyway. if a tear falls as you smile, maybe you can say a speck of dust just got in your eye—it’s easier than telling him you’ve given up.
both of you are too old for guessing games, but you guess with suna, some exceptions had to be made simply because of who he is; reserved and silent. most of all with his feelings.
so you stare back at him instead, a smile on your lips because right now, even with your heart falling slowly in pieces, you’re content. for now, you let yourself forget that in the morning, you’ll be rid of him—or at least you’ll try. after all, suna might be silent and reserved, but he’s still your best friend. you know you’ll hear from him tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and the day after that—for so long.
but that’s what got you here anyway. it’s funny to think that you’re still unsure if he feels anything for you at all, but those thoughts are a dangerous territory; one that has put you in a loop, never really knowing when to stop.
the same way the heart wants what it wants, the heart gets tired too. broken and beaten, enough to have you struggling for air.
this is just something you have to do.
for now, you memorize his face. etch it into your memory in case maybe one day you’ll forget. you avoid his pretty eyes though, where all the sincerity you want is—hidden just enough—just in case you’ll see how much he wants you.
you’re sure he can tell something’s wrong. he’s got you memorized like that, but he doesn’t say a thing. like always, he waits for you to open up to him when you want to, like he always think you will. like you’ve always done before. so you smile again, this time it’s bittersweet and he can barely tell as you move to lay your head on his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against your ear, and you exhale slowly.
then pray tomorrow won’t be so hard when he says good morning.
two year after breaking up with your ex osamu you have moved on with your life. you finally get a big roll in an up coming tv show after years of small insignificant rolls. when you find out that your co-star is suna rintaro, your ex’s best friend who you despise, you plan on dropping the roll. however, suna isn’t exactly how you remember and for some reason you start catching feelings.
pairings:suna x fem!reader & osamu x fem! reader
genre:angst!
tropes:actor!suna, actor!osamu, enemies to lovers, exes to lovers
warnings:18+, love triangle, cheating, toxic relationships, unrequited love, (+more to be announced)
taglist:(open)
status:starting after “traitor”
cast
SEASON ONE
episode one
y/n nervously awaits to hear news from her agent on whether she got her dream acting job or not.
[6:03pm] It has been ages that Suna came home so early. To be frank, the brown haired male himself didn’t know what made him do so. He didn’t even really care, did he? If he did, he wouldn’t come home so late. If he cared, he would willingly spend time with you, he wouldn’t spend so much time in the gym even after practice had ended, he wouldn’t roam around without any destination for long hours at night. No, if he cared, he would rush to your shared home, he would throw himself into your arms, he would caress your figure as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent like his personal drug.
Wasn’t this what it was like once? Maybe Suna just missed it. Maybe he missed your sweet spoken words, maybe he missed the glow in your eyes whenever he came home right on time, maybe he missed the soft touches you two exchanged, the longing kisses and cuddles after a long, exhausting day. No matter how often he told himself that he didn’t want that, he didn’t crave you, you were nothing more than a nuisance to him. You weren‘t important, you were nothing more than a mere way to pass time, a person to take care of his household, plate him meals and warm his bed. So why did he miss you after so many months of silence between you? Why did he miss your voice, your laugh?
Suna could easily ignore the sunken feeling he had when he entered your shared home. Sure, it wasn’t like you to have all the lights turned off, it wasn’t like you to not be swaying your hips in the kitchen and hum along the music you were playing, it wasn’t like you to not give him a warm smile as you finally saw him. It wasn’t like you to not be home when he finally returned. Still he didn’t really bother, he only shrugged his gym bag off and went to take a quick shower. You‘d be home once he got out of the bathroom, right? You‘d be happy, eyes lighting up as you launched yourself onto him, surprised, yes, but elated. You‘d tell him how glad you were that he was home and that you could finally spend some quality time together again.
Yet as he stepped out of the steam filled bathroom and yelled out your name, expecting some sort of answer, you were still nowhere to be seen. Maybe you hid somewhere, maybe you wanted to scare him? You loved that, you always did. Perhaps you were hiding in the shadows? A deep chuckle escaped Suna as he shook his head, finding his way into the living room and sitting down. He took his phone out, deciding that you sure would come out sooner or later, like you had done so many times; surely today wasn’t different.
It was only when he looked at the clock and widened his yellow eyes that he realized that you weren’t coming home - after all you haven’t been for a month now.
