Miya Osamu takes his time to look up from the pot of pork belly he’s stirring over the stove. “Ya sure yer yellin’ at the right Miya, doll?” he asks, with a playful smirk that only serves to fan the flames of your anger.
“I’m pretty sure your brother didn’t knock me up cos’ I would’ve remembered that”, you spit, bunching up the hems of your shirt in clenched fists, watching with sick satisfaction as Osamu’s face blanches white, wooden spoon falling to the floor.
This is all his fault. His fault for being so ridiculously alluring and handsome that you couldn’t resist taking him into bed even though you were on antibiotics that night. His fault for peppering kisses down your neck in the morning and making you completely forget about popping by the pharmacy that day.
“Sweetheart”, he breathes as he folds you into his arms, tucks you firmly against his chest. “You’re pregnant?”
You sniffle, knocking your fists half-heartedly against the planes of his chest. The truth is - even though you’re married and you’ve always wanted kids, it’s a frightening prospect to confront. Osamu’s busy with expanding his business, you are settling down at your job, it doesn’t feel like the right time to suddenly be saddled with the responsibility of keeping a tiny human alive.
“I’m scared”, you admit, drawing comfort from the warmth from his skin, the steady beat of his heart.
He tilts your face up to him, wipes your tears away with gentle thumbs.
“So am I”, he says quietly. “But if you wanna keep it, I’m in.”
You consider it.
You imagine a world where Miya Osamu straps your chubby little baby adorned in onigiri print onesie onto his back as he serves his customers. You imagine a world where he teaches your child how to slice and dice, their expressions mirroring each other, tongues poking out in concentration. You imagine a world where you and Osamu create a life that’s half his and half yours, a miracle of its own.
Your heart swells. Your fears wither and die.
“I’m in too”, you whisper, laughing with joy as he picks you up and twirls you all around the kitchen.
a/n:as requested by jenny @fail-big. also PSA from grandma nikki: please use contraception and be safe, kids!
a/n: i know i promised y’all atsumu fluff, and it will be served eventually, so hope you like some osamu fluff and a reminder to indulge in self-love in the meantime
‘Yer not finishin’ yer food?’ Osamu asks with concern as he watches you play with the remaining food on your plate listlessly, a pained look in your eyes.
‘I’m not hungry’, you lie, getting up and clearing your plate.
He only frowns.
It all makes sense when he catches you staring at yourself in the bathroom mirror, top pulled up to reveal your belly. He watches you pinch the soft plush of your belly that he loves so much, watches your face darken as you measure your waist, watches you wince as you slap your own butt, sighing as it jiggles as butts are wont to do.
‘Do you think I’m ugly?’ you ask, catching his eye in the mirror, voice small.
‘Of course not’, he replies immediately. ‘Yer the most beautiful girl in the world to me’.
But he can see the echoes of doubt in your eyes, the disbelief as you purse your lips in a tight line. It makes his heart clench. He loves you, all of you - soft belly, round cheeks, crooked smile, and just wishes you could love yourself as much as he loves you too.
‘What brought this on, darlin’?’ he asks, wrapping his arms around you, tucking you firmly against his chest.
You shake your head at first, refusing to give him an answer, but he refuses to relinquish his grip on you until you do, so you admit shakily – ‘I spoke to my mum today, and she said I’m looking a little chubby’.
He exhales a sigh. ‘Do ya want me to call yer mum and give her a piece of my mind?’
You shake your head harder this time. ‘She means well’, you say weakly, but your fingers are still pinching your belly hard enough to leave red, angry marks behind.
Osamu peels your fingers away, unfurling them one by one with care. ‘Hey, look at me’, he says, tilting your chin up to meet his gaze in the mirror.
‘I mean it’, he nuzzles his nose into your hair, breathing in your scent. ‘Yer my bestest girl, and there’s nothin’ about yer that I would change’. Then he pauses, a mischievous smile flickering on his face.
‘Except maybe yer habit of not finishin’ yer food’.
You laugh at that, turning around to poke his cheek playfully. ‘But if I finish my food from now on, you won’t get any extras’.
His laughter bounces off the walls. ‘Darlin’ that’s a sacrifice my stomach’s willin’ to make’.
Suna had mentioned he was inviting Miwa over for dinner and that Miwa would be bringing a friend. You don’t mind, of course. Miwa is your friend and any friend of Miwa is automatically a friend of yours. In addition, you like it when Suna chooses to branch out of his small circle of friends and make new ones. It’s good for him.
Osamu was up for it too and was highly amused, “I like how you say you invited someone for dinner, like you’re cooking for them. But you’re actually just sharing take out and eating it at our small dining table.”
Suna had slapped him on the back and groaned, “Stop, I’m so worried how we’re all going to fit on that table. Should we eat on the floor? Ugh, I can’t make Miwa and her friend eat on the floor.”
You were confused, “Why not?”
“Yeah, why not?” Osamu was curious too. “We make Y/N eat on the floor all the time.”
“Well,” Suna had said, “That’s Y/N and this is Miwa. Some people deserve better.”
You had to beat him up to maintain your pride while Osamu laughed. But Osamu, acting like the oldest person in the room for once, had assured Suna that it was going to be fine. Miwa was a college student and wouldn’t mind.
As such, on the night of the dinner, Suna has you vacuuming the living room carpet floor as he fusses over what Spotify playlist to have playing in the background. This is probably the cleanest the apartment has been over the two years you’ve been over at their place. At Suna’s request, you also brought over some of your candles, so it smells like what a vacation in Hawaii would theoretically be. Pineapples and coconuts. This isn’t even your apartment.
Osamu manages to escape most of his requests by putting his foot down and taking full responsibility for getting the food. He arrives back at the apartment with enough time to spare for setting everything up on the floor.
You give him a tired wave from where you’re lying down on the couch, “Hey, welcome back.”
“Yo, it smells good in here,” Osamu exclaims, breathing deeply as he switches the shoes he has on with house slippers. He shrugs his jacket off next, placing it on a chair, and then dropping the plastic bags of takeout on the dining table. You weakly grunt in agreement.
Osamu laughs, going over to you and lifting your feet off the couch so he can sit down too. “What happened to you?”
“Please be quiet. Rin is driving me crazy,” you close your eyes and sigh when Osamu starts massaging your ankles. “Miwa won’t even care that much. She’s not fussy like that.”
“Forgive him, he’s just nervous. You get like that too,” Osamu says, like a mother telling her eldest to be more patient with their immature younger sibling. “Besides, think about how funny it’s going to be watching him interact with Miwa. He’s going to be so embarrassing.”
Speaking of the devil, Suna comes out of his room panicking, “Guys, they said they’re gonna be here soon. Look normal.”
Neither you or Osamu make a move to get off the couch. Suna whines, shaking Osamu’s shoulders, “Samu, go set up the food.”
“Noooo,” you whine, “He’s massaging my foot, get your own Samu.”
Suna frowns, “We have joint custody of Osamu, so you can’t call him yours, idiot.”
Osamu is saved from hearing this argument continue by knocking on their front door. He pushes Suna towards the door, “Go get that, we can all set the table together.”
Suna hurriedly rushes to the door, but before he opens it, he turns back to you, fluffing up his hair and putting a questioning thumbs up. You laugh and jokingly give him a thumbs down which is negated by the encouraging double thumbs up Osamu gives.
He finally opens the door, revealing Miwa all bundled up, clutching her own plastic bag of takeout. What makes you sit up is the guy trying to shyly hide behind Miwa. Suna lets them in, “Hey guys, I’m glad you were able to easily find the place.”
Miwa gives him a hug, “Yeah, it’s actually only five minutes away from our own place. This is Akaashi Keiji, by the way.”
Suna smiles, bright and charming, and comes over to give Akaashi a hug. Akaashi timidly returns the hug, which is kind of funny. He’s never seen anyone act overwhelmed in the presence of Suna. Suna lets him go and turns to his two friends on the couch, “And that’s Osamu, my roommate and the other person you see lying there is—”
“Oh,” Akaashi says in surprise, when he meets your eyes, “Y/N-san.”
The other three people in the room look on curiously. They have never heard your name said with so much respect before.
“Keiji, I didn’t know you were friends with Miwa,” you say, standing up.
“Friends and roommates,” Akaash says, shrinking at the attention everyone is giving him in the room.
Miwa loops their arms together, “How do you guys know each other?”
“We’re in the same music composition class,” you respond, and then you notice what’s inside the plastic bag Akaashi’s carrying, “You guys brought dessert?”
“Yeah, we got ice cream, some pastries, and fruit,” Miwa responds and then goes over to the kitchen to put the bags down. “I know you’re a picky eater, so you have to like at least one of the things we bought.”
Osamu comes over to take a peek at what they brought and gasps, “Oh my god, you guys bought mint chocolate chip ice cream?”
Suna visibly shudders and you pretend to gag. Miwa snorts, pointing at Akaashi, “It’s for him! He’s the one who likes it.”
“I like it too!” Osamu exclaims and comes over to pat him on the back, “I’ll eat it with you. Nobody else understands how good it is.”
For the first time that night, Akaashi smiles easily and the effect is immediate. The room brightens just at the appearance of it. “I’m glad you like it, Osamu-kun.”
Osamu smiles at the honorifics, “Just call me Samu.”
Suna claps his hands loudly to grab everyone’s attention. And when everybody turns to him, he smiles and points to the living room area, “Shall we start eating then?”
People begin migrating over, with Osamu grabbing the takeout to set up on the floor. As they set up, Miwa asks, “Can I put the ice cream in the freezer? And do you guys want me to clean the grapes now?”
You shake your head, “Just put the ice cream in the freezer, and we can wash the grapes later. Come here already.” When you see Akaashi awkwardly looking for where to sit, you pat the space beside you, “Just sit with me. It’ll just be like how it is in class. And then, Miwa can sit beside you.”
Just like that they all end up in a circle: You, Akaashi, Miwa, Suna, and Osamu. Inside your circle formation, Osamu had laid out their large order of sushi, sashimi, tempura, curry and yakitori. Honestly, eating with Suna and Osamu, you’re used to seeing such a large feast in front of you, but you can tell by Miwa’s wide eyes and Akaashi’s jaw dropping that they aren’t.
Miwa wonders, “Can we even finish all of this and the dessert that we brought?”
“Yeah,” you confirm, breaking your chopsticks apart and rubbing them against each other to shave off potential wooden splinters. “Don’t worry, Samu will finish everything.”
Beside you, Osamu’s already stuffing himself with curry, while Suna is eagerly filling Miwa’s plate, who is trying to tell him that she can do it herself. You hope you don’t look as desperate as that when it comes to your own crush.
The food tastes amazing, so much so that the first few moments of eating together, the only sounds that can be heard are of them eating. That is until Suna whines about how spicy the curry is, “Shit, I forgot to grab water.”
Since he’s sitting the farthest from the kitchen, you offer to get some for him, “Anybody else want anything?”
Mouth full, Osamu raises his hand and tries to chew faster, but you already know, “Sprite?”
Osamu’s eyes crinkle in happiness, nodding while sending you a flying kiss. You smirk, “Miwa? Keji? Do you guys want anything?”
“If you guys have juice, I’ll take it, but if not, I’ll stick to the water that I have.” Miwa says, trying to see what’s in the fridge.
You open the fridge, “Hmm, we only have iced tea and more sprite. Keiji, do you want either of those?”
“I would like some iced tea,” Akaashi says, politely. You grab that for him, along with two bottles of water and sprite. You throw one bottle of water to Suna, who barely catches it, and set the sprite next to Osamu. The bottle of iced tea, you hand to Akaashi who receives it with both hands. “Thank you, Y/N.”
Miwa laughs after watching the interaction, “Keiji, you don’t have to act so formal with Y/N. You guys are even in the same class, right?”
“It’s true,” you smile, finding how shy Kai gets very cute. “Just call me Y/N.”
“Okay,” Akaashi replies, and then averts his eyes and goes back to eating. You want to pinch his cheeks. You find that sentiment reflected on everybody else’s faces. How can a person so tall look like such a baby?
You open your water bottle to drink and as you drink it, Osamu makes a comment, “You’re not going to have your nightly iced tea?”
“Oh, there was only one left,” you shrug, putting the cap back on, “Remind me to buy more, by the way.”
Osamu eyes the bottle in Akaashi’s hand and nods, “I see…”
You laugh, hitting him lightly on the shoulder, “I can be sweet too, Samu.”
“I never said you couldn’t be,” Osamu says, “It’s just the first time I’ve seen it.”
Suna hums thoughtfully, “Surprisingly, when you’re being nice and sweet, you’re very quiet about it. Loud about everything else though.”
You roll your eyes, “I’m not that loud.” But Suna just rolls his eyes back.
“Is she really that loud?” Akaashi asks, tilting his head to the side. “I feel like I can’t imagine that.”
At that, Osamu, Suna, and Miwa both look at him like he’d grown another head. Osamu puts his arm around you, squeezing your shoulder, “She’s so loud that I feel like I can hear her laughter ringing in my ears hours later.”
“She gets invited to parties because she’s the best person to hype everyone up,” Suna adds on.
Miwa frowns, “What’s she like in class for you to say that?”
Akaashi gives a cautious side glance at you, before speaking: “Y/N’s really serious in class. Our classmates even say she’s kind of scary to be partnered with for projects.”
“Scary?” Osamu says in disbelief, “What’s so scary about her? She’s just a cute little kid.”
“Now, I can’t picture it,” Miwa says. “Our Y/N? The one I have to lecture at the library on why she needs to study more to pass her midterms?”
“The Y/N that will freeze up and yell at you to kill a cockroach for her? That same Y/N?”
“He gets it!” You huff, shrugging off Osamu’s arm on your shoulder. “Also, I’m not surprised they’re saying that. I think I was kind of… too strict in past group projects and our department isn’t really that big.”
Akaashi shakes his head, “It’s not just that… you’re well known in our department for your high standards, so you do come off as a bit… intimidating.”
“Well, I’m not going to deny the first part, but don’t be intimidated.” you smirk, “In fact, why don’t you be my partner for the next group project?”
Akaashi’s eyes widen and at the expectant look from you, he sighs, “Sure, let’s do it.”
You cheer, meanwhile Miwa holds Akaashi’s hand in hers, comfortingly, “Don’t worry, if she’s mean to you, just tell me. I’ll get revenge for you.”
You stick your tongue out, “Suna will protect me.” You send him two finger hearts with kisses, but Suna playfully and metaphorically slaps the hearts away.
“No, I won’t,” Suna smiles, sweetly. “I hope you get beat up. Get your practice boyfriend to protect you.”
Suna is dead to you. With big watery eyes, you turn to Osamu and carefully hold his free hand in yours. “My Samu-kun will protect me, right? My Samu who is so strongandniceandgood, unlike that guy over there.”
Osamu can barely look at you, and that just cannot do. You put yourself in Osamu’s line of vision and flutter your eyes, whining, “Samuuu.”
It only takes one glance and Osamu sighs immediately, “You’re not gonna need my help. Miwa wouldn’t beat you up. But sure.”
You turn back to Miwa and stick your tongue out, giggling. But Miwa just looks unimpressed, “What the hell is a practice boyfriend?”
The question stops your laughter immediately. How the hell are you supposed to explain your dumb idea to her?
Thankfully, Suna steps in, “It’s exactly what it sounds like.”
“How bad are you at dating that you need to practice?”
You pout, “Don’t make me say it, Miwa. You know I’ve never dated before.”
“You’ve never?” Akaashi asks, dumbfounded, “Like not even one date? Or confession?”
You feel your ears reddening at Akaashi’s questions and you cover them with your hands to avoid anybody seeing them. Suna sighs dramatically, “Oh, Akaash-san, what you need to know about Y/N is that she’s a true romantic at heart. If the confession doesn’t pass typical kdrama standards, she’ll reject it.”
You throw a balled up napkin at Suna, who yelps when it hits him. “Don’t listen to him, Keiji. Some people are just unlucky in the dating scene. It’s not me, it’s everybody else.”
Miwa is looking at you like she’s reading every thought running through your mind. What comes out of her mouth though is another question, “And Osamu is helping you practice? What kind of practice?”
Osamu who’s been silent since Miwa’s inquisition began finally contributes, “We just went on like a practice date. And you know, I gave her tips…”
“Why do I feel like I’m being tried in court,” you mutter, “Yeah, we went on a practice date. The works, holding hands and he paid for me.”
Of all the things you expected her to say, it was not this: “That’s it? What are you supposed to learn on one practice date? That’s all you’ve done?”
Beside you, Osamu starts to get defensive, “I’m just doing what Y/N asked. She said she wanted a practice date, so we went on one. Case closed.”
Miwa sighs, “If it was really practice, then Y/N should initiate it. Also, being a boyfriend or dating isn’t just one date. It’s composed of many things — like caring for each other, supporting each other, being physically affectionate, giving each other presents, and spending time with each other!”
The room takes a moment to digest Miwa’s rant, and Miwa in turn gets shy at her outburst, hiding it with a cough, “Sorry, I’ve watched too many movies…”
“It’s okay,” you tell her. You feel like your mind has just been opened. You clear your throat and pat Osamu’s hand, “Samu, I think she’s got a point. Write those things down.”
.
.
.
Miwa has never done wrong in her life and she’s not going to start now, you’re sure of it. The brightest mind of their generation. A kindred soul with a heart for romance similar to your own. It’s why when you revise the practice dating contract, Miwa sits with you, the way a lawyer would for a celebrity couple signing a prenuptial agreement.
“Okay,” Miwa says, picking up the piece of paper you call a contract. It’s a little wrinkled and it took you a hot minute to find it, because you couldn’t remember which textbook you’d slipped it in. “When you said contract, I was really impressed, but Y/N, this just says the word ‘dates’ on it.”
You pout, “Come on, Miwa, you’re the pre-law major here. If we knew how to do everything, then we wouldn’t be here asking you.”
Osamu sighs for the fifth time since you’ve sat down. You elbow him as a warning, but he doesn’t even react. Miwa sighs too, picking up a pen and adding to the contract, “So first, if you want to be a good boyfriend, you should be physically affectionate…”
.
.
.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Osamu asks, looking at you with concern.
You’re standing outside of Osamu’s apartment, both of you all bundled up as the sun sets and the evening air is more than a cold touch. You barely hear his question, too busy struggling to close your jacket.
“Ya!” Osamu yells with frustration, before sighing and zipping your jacket himself. “Why didn’t you wear a thicker jacket?
You shiver, but smile brightly at him, “But Samu, look, this way we’re matching!”
The hard look on Osamu’s face acquiesces to something much softer, “Is that so? Did you plan this?”
“Like it’s that hard to predict what you’re going to wear,” you smugly says, “I’m a slow learner but I do learn. You should wear couple looks on dates!”
Osamu flicks your nose, chuckling when it crinkles immediately under his touch. “Who says this was a date?
“I did. A convenience store date with my practice boyfriend. To practice physical affection,” you recite, trying to imitate Miwa’s tone when she’d said it.
“And you’re going to be okay with it? You know how touchy couples usually are, right? Holding hands, sitting close together, touching all the time—”
“Areyou going to be okay with it?” you raise a brow at him, “I know I’m an airhead but I do understand what I’m asking. And I know you, you’d never do anything that would make me feel uncomfortable. And despite how I act and how often I joke around with you, I’m not going to do anything you’re not okay with either.”
You can back out, you think. Just say the word, and I’ll let you go, you hold your breath.
“I know you won’t,” Osamu says softly, “And of course, I’ll be okay with it. Should we go then?”
Just like that, you exhale, tendrils of misty air escaping from his mouth. Maybe, there’s relief too. Before Osamu can start walking though, you stop him, “Wait—”
“What is it?” Osamu tilts his head to the side.
You scratch your head, feeling your cheeks heat up, but shoulder on, “Can we hold hands?”
Osamu chuckles and extends a hand, “Yes, come on. The store is going to be closed by the time we get there at this rate.”
You wordlessly take it. Warmth overtakes you — you don’t remember the last time you asked to hold someone’s hand, nor the last person (outside of Osamu) whose hand you’ve held. Maybe your mother? In any case, it’s shaking your heart. You want to lecture it; why are you beating so rapidly? It’s just a hand, you fool.
But it’s Osamu’s hand, your heart responds back. And well, you can’t say anything towards that. You like this hand.
Nevertheless, there’s so many inconvenient things about holding hands. First of all, it means you only have one free hand to use at all times. There are so many things you need two hands for, like holding a heavy basket, inspecting snacks, and even the act of pulling out one’s wallet to pay. Then there’s the hand holding itself; is it just your own nervousness or does everyone’s hands get so sweaty? You hope Osamu doesn’t mention it.
And then, when you inevitably have to let his hand go, do you have to ask him again to hold hands? Will it be as humiliating and as nerve-wracking as the first time?
(The answer? Yes. But only for the second time. The third time you ask, Osamu just laughs and says, you don’t have to ask every time.)
But despite all the reasons you’ve outlined above, you completely understand why people hold hands, why it’s worth writing a song over. Holding hands, from movies to books to songs, is such a publicized affair, but it’s the closeness, like holding a secret out in the open.
Who else knows the warmth and weight of Osamu’s hand?
It can be a fun little game too. Like when you’re sitting next to each other on the couch and Osamu lets you play with his hand underneath the blanket covering your lap, or when you go out to eat at a restaurant and you hold Osamu’s hand underneath the table.
It’s thrilling — to hold something, briefly and without anyone else knowing.
.
.
.
“Next,” Miwa hums, “Couples typically support each other, right? Maybe practice being supportive of each other, like bring each other coffee in the morning even when you yourself don’t like it—”
You smirk, “Oh, kind of like the way Rin buys a caramel macchiato every morning even though I’m pretty sure he doesn’t drink coffee?”
Osamu tries to hide a chuckle beside you and sneakily lays out his hand for a high-five. You eagerly meet it. Miwa is unimpressed.
“This isn’t about me,” Miwa rolls her eyes, writing supporting each other in neat strokes and dotting her i’s with hearts. “Do you guys have any ideas on how best to practice this?”
You look at Osamu with consideration. Osamu winks at you. This bastard thinks he’s so cute. “I’m sure we can come up with something.”
.
.
.
It takes you a couple of tries to come up with something.
“I don’t think this is going to work,” you sigh, leaning your head against Osamu’s shoulder, “I don’t get why I have to wake up so early to walk you to class. Why are you taking an exercise class as early as 9 am, huh?”
“Yoga’s a nice way to start the day,” Osamu ruffles your hair, “And this is to support me, remember?”
You lift your head and barely manage to refrain from rolling your eyes, “Do you feel supported? Do you even need support?”
Osamu pinches your cheek, and you push his hand away, annoyed, “I feel supported by this bright attitude you’re giving me. Won’t you give me a smile?”
You give him the blankest face you can muster, and Osamu stops walking, “If you’re going to be super grumpy about it, then why did you even bother getting up and going through with it?”
“Because,” you fight the urge to yawn, “I wanted to try it just once.”
Osamu sighs, “Go back to bed, Y/N.”
Walking each other to places, as a first attempt, was a failure.
Related to that, you also tried picking each other up from classes, but your schedules just didn’t work out. It cut too close to Osamu’s seminars and you had your own shift at work to get to. Osamu had then joked that maybe you could move into their apartment and start contributing to rent, but you had sulked so severely over the comment that Osamu took it back immediately.
So what if you were always around their apartment? You elevate the usual sad vibes! You make their fridge look fuller by stocking your drinks in there! You let them borrow a candle or two, so their apartment can smell better! And in exchange, you get the privilege of lounging around on their couch; if anything, you should start charging them for your presence.
For now, you will continue taking advantage of their couch space. Maybe you’ll continue to think about how to practice supporting your ‘boyfriend.’
You sigh.
You sigh again, this time louder.
You huff, and then take the biggest breath only to release it all in the loudest sigh you can muster.
And then — you finally hear Suna step out of the kitchen with an open bag of crisps, “What do you want?”
You pat the space beside him on the couch, “Sit with me, Rin. I feel like I haven’t seen you in a while.”
Suna walks over to you, munching on a chip, “What, you miss me?”
“No, I just wanted some of that,” you eye the bag, trying to reach for it but Suna keeps it away from you.
“Rinnnnn,” you whine with grabby hands; it makes Suna snort, finally sitting down beside you.
“I’ll share, but only because I know you actually really miss me,” Suna brings the bag close to you, who eagerly grabs a crisp and eats it to hide the growing smile on your face. Suna knows you too well.
You rest your head on his shoulder and sigh, “Seriously though, I feel like I’m hanging out with Samu more than you. Are you trying to give us more alone time?” you lift your head and look at him, touched, with a hand on your heart, “Rin, I’m touched. You really do love me!”
“You are so,” Suna pauses, “creative. You truly belong in the arts. But it’s not intentional! Miwa and Keiji have been inviting me to join them for late dinner slash snacks at their apartment.”
You frown, “My poor Keiji. Why are you guys making him third wheel?”
Suna sticks his tongue out at you and then sighs, “I’m the third wheel. Have you seen the way Miwa looks at him? I wish she’d look at me like that.”
You look at him and feel your heart drop. You know first hand what that feels like. To have your heart set on somebody who’s heart is with someone else. Although, you don’t exactly think this is the case. You’ve seen how Miwa looks at Akaashi, but you’ve also seen the way Miwa looks at Suna. You have a PhD in yearning and can definitely tell the difference. But an insecure heart can’t see that. You cuddle up to him, “It’s okay. They’re not dating, right? And she keeps inviting you to have dinner and snacks with her? If she was in love with Keiji, she would try to get as much alone time with him. But she doesn’t.”
“That’s… true. I won’t join the lonely hearts club yet,” Suna sighs, resting his head on top of yours.
“That’s fine. Population will stay as one then,” you smile. Suna’s heart is pure like a child and it should stay that way, you think. “Anyway, do you want to get some boba? Doesn’t a taro milk tea sound so good, right now?”
Suna hums, “It does, but I don’t want to get up. It’s too cold outside and it’s nice and warm here.”
“I am not paying for delivery. The delivery fee is going to be double the total amount we have to pay,” you reason from experience.
Suna groans, “What should we do then? I really want it now that you’ve mentioned it.”
“If only someone could pick it up for us. If only someone was so kind and so generous and loving. If only—” you grin, pulling out your phone, “I have an idea.”
Your bright idea materializes an hour later in the form of a displeased Miya Osamu, carrying two cups of boba and his duffel bag. “I can’t believe you made me pick up your damn drinks. You guys said you were sad! But instead the two of you are out here having the time of your life!”
The two of you were on your phones, giggling and cuddling on the couch. You give him your best pout, “But Samu, we were sad when we texted you! Didn’t you see the picture we sent you?”
Osamu rolls his eyes, “Which one? You sent me so many messages. The lies… the manipulation…”
You hit Suna on the shoulder, whispering look sad, dumbass, and Suna immediately schools his expression into something heartwrenching, “Samu, how could you accuse your favorite people on Earth of such bad things?”
You nod and in a cutesy voice say, “Don’t you love us? And that’s why you picked up our milk teas? Out of love?”
“You guys are lucky I’m too tired to beat you up,” Osamu huffs, dropping his duffel bag to the floor and your milk teas on the kitchen counter. “Come here at least. I draw the line at putting the straw in your mouth. I feel like a single mother of two.”
You shove Suna off of you and Suna yelps as he falls to the floor. You skip happily to your drink, fully ignoring the high pitched yell of your name by Suna. You do a little hehe as you tear the straw open from its package and stab it into your drink. Immediately, you take a sip and do a little wiggle of happiness. All is right in the world.
Suna gets his revenge a second later by flicking the back of your head and immediately hiding behind Osamu when you move to hit him back. Osamu’s just standing there, minding his business and drinking his water.
Revenge is a lost cause. You give up on it for now.
Your eyes focus on Osamu instead, how pink his cheeks are, like fresh white peaches. You want to eat him. “Was it cold outside, Samu?”
Instead of responding, Osamu presses his hand to your cheek, causing you to yelp. It’s colder than the dead.
Suna laughs at you and you hold yourself back from glaring. You choose to be a better person and ignore him. To Osamu, you say, “Samu, as a thank you for picking up our milk tea, what if I bought dinner for tonight? Is there anything you want to eat?”
Osamu pretends to think, “What about… sashimi?”
“Yes! I want that too,” Suna says, gleeful to have somebody on his side bullying you.
You huff, pouting while pulling out your phone, “If that’s what you want…” you sniff, plenty pitiful, “I guess I’ll just have ramen for tonight.”
Osamu finally laughs, stopping you from pulling up the delivery app on your phone, “I’m just kidding. I’m good with anything. I’m just hungry.”
“Samu,” Suna scolds, “You can’t just give in to her when she starts pouting. It’s a fake pout.”
“But she can’t eat sashimi anyway, and it’s not fun to eat when not everyone can eat. Pick something else,” Osamu says, kindly.
“What about Chinese? I can do jajangmyeon and tangsuyuk? Or even pho?” Suna suggests.
You nod, “I’m good with either. We can do chinese tonight and then get pho tomorrow night.”
Osamu shakes his head, “No, let’s do pho tonight with those spring rolls. You guys can do Chinese tomorrow.”
“Oh?” Suna looks curiously at him, “Are you not eating here tomorrow night?”
You hold your breath and try not to let the apprehension show on your face. Instead, you smirk and snidely ask, “Oh, why? You got a hot date tomorrow?”
“No,” Osamu raises a brow, and then a slow smile spreads on his face, “Unless you’re asking me out?”
Suna groans, grabbing Osamu by the shoulders, “Please do not flirt in front of me. I don’t care if it’s practice, please I think I’m going to puke—”
Meanwhile, you’re standing there, smirk wiped off your face and flaming red. Osamu’s just cackling, “Man, I still got it.”
This is so fucking humiliating.
You cover your face with one hand and turn away. You hate him, you hate him, you hate him! How could you let someone so embarrassing have so much power over you? You don’t know what you did in a past life to suffer like this. To yourself, you mutter, “You could have asked Keiji or even Rin, but nooooo, you had to ask Miya Osamu to be your practice boyfriend. This is your fault, Y/N—”
Osamu hugs you, still laughing, “I’m sorry I couldn’t help it, your face looked so funny. But also take notes, that’s how you flirt with someone.”
“Y/N, I beg you,” Suna says, clasping his hands in front of his chest, “Don’t take flirting tips from him. That’s how you actually get water thrown at your face.”
You ignore them both and just quietly start putting your order in. And just as quietly, you pass the phone to Osamu. You sip your boba. You chew on a pearl. You question your existence, briefly. How did you end up here really, with your pride in shambles?
Osamu hands the phone to Suna and stands beside you, elbowing you gently, “That was good, right?”
You don’t understand how a man with an ego this big constantly needs reassurance. “It was alright.”
“Just alright?” Osamu repeats, with a slight whine. “But I was so smooth and cool. You didn’t think so?”
You ignore him, opting to stare blankly at the fridge. It’s decorated in random magnets, their class schedules printed out, numerous take-out menus, and an assortment of polaroids taken by your camera. Suna and Osamu aren’t too fussed about decorations, but you think that’s just sad. It’s nicer to come back to a place that looks like home.
Osamu elbows you again, a pout in full bloom on his face. Sometimes, you wisely think, the best way to deal with Miya Osamu is by ignoring him. He seriously hates it. At the same time, Suna finishes his order and hands the phone back to you. And just with a touch of your finger on the screen, your order is in.
Osamu eventually gives up on you and moves on to Suna, snuggling up to him and asking if Suna found him cool. Suna whines and tries to push him away, but Suna is far kinder and softer than you are. He eventually gives in, nodding half-heartedly, and Osamu immediately brightens, turning to you with his chin up, as if to say, see, somebody agrees.
What a fool, you think.
A fool who cheers too loudly when their food gets delivered. A fool who eats too fast and too much and talks even when his mouth is full. A fool who’ll do kind things like pick up boba for his friends even when he’s too tired from studying.
A fool that you like. A fool that you have a lot to learn from.
You must have been zoning out for a moment that Osamu interprets your silence as you being done eating, “Hey, are you not going to finish your spring roll? If not, can I have it?”
You smile, pushing your plate towards him, “Yeah, you can have it.”
Suna shakes his head as he watches Osamu take a huge bite of the spring roll, “What are you going to do for your evening classes and study sessions, huh? Who’s unfinished food are you going to eat?”
Osamu shrugs, “I’ll figure it out. It’s not like I won’t get out to grab a quick snack.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about,” Suna mutters, exchanging a glance with you. You know what Suna is trying to get at. Knowing Osamu, he’s too much of a perfectionist that he’ll forget about break times and just keep going and going. He’ll drink water to fill the hunger and it just won’t do. You want him to eat well.
You remember then, your earlier dilemma of supporting your practice boyfriend and how best to show it. You have an idea.
That next day, after you finish your own dinner, you get yourself dressed up in a warm sherpa lined denim jacket and bucket hat that you found lying around on the floor, so you’re ready to brave the cold night. You skip your way to the convenience store and pick up an energy drink, several onigiris, and a cup of fruit. You make sure to ask for utensils and napkins when you pay.
The library isn’t that much farther from the convenience store. It doesn’t take you a long time at all, even when you take your sweet time to enjoy the stars twinkling in the dark night sky. You’re in a bright mood when you reach the study room Osamu’s in. You can’t go in just yet since he’s in the middle of a group discussion with other people, but you don’t mind.
You stand there for a bit of time, until someone stands up, clapping their hand and calling for a short break.
You wait for Osamu to turn around, watch as he stretches out his long arms, before knocking on the door to signal your presence. This catches the attention of everyone, including Osamu, who looks surprised to see you.
“Oh, Y/N, what are you doing here? Is everything okay?” Osamu says as soon as he comes to the door.
You playfully pout, “Can’t I visit you, Samu? What if I just wanted to see you?”
Osamu laughs, throwing his head back, “I understand I have that effect on people.”
“Okay, tone it down,” you roll your eyes, before pulling up the plastic bag of snacks you bought, “I did have a reason for coming here.”
Osamu’s eyes widen, “Oh my god—”
Dramatically, you wipes a fake tear from your own cheek, “I was thinking about my Osamu-kun, not eating three portions of a meal for dinner, not having anybody who’d let him steal food from, and it made me so sick to my stomach—”
Osamu doesn’t even look mad, too happy about the food, so you drop the act, “I didn’t get much, since I figured you’d at least have dinner. But you’re burning a lot of calories for brain power, so it’ll be good to replenish it by eating! But don’t eat too much, because then you’ll get sleepy like you always do after a big meal. Miya Osamu, are you listening?”
“How could I not listen when my practice girlfriend cares so much about me?” Osamu teases, taking the plastic bag from your hands. “Wearing my jacket, buying me food. My heart almost fluttered.”
“Almost?” you’re practicing hard at training yourself to get used to his flirting. You think you’re semi-succeeding when you can sigh and faux disappointment in response, “I should try harder next time then.”
Osamu pinches your cheek lightly, “There’s always room for improvement.”
“But I still did good, right?” You ask, unable to help it.
“So good,” Osamu says, tucking a piece of loose hair behind your ear. “Should I brag about it? Everyone’s going to be sojealous—”
“Samu, no, shut up—” you try to stop him, but when Osamu means to be insufferable, he just can’t be stopped.
“Guys, my friend brought me some food! Personally delivered. I have never even seen your boyfriends or girlfriends bring you guys anything—”
Your face gets so red from the attention and Osamu’s antics, you barely feel cold on the way back home. But you think about the happy surprise on Osamu’s face and think maybe the embarrassment is worth it.
Or maybe the true fool here isn’t Osamu. It’s you.
.
.
.
.
Miwa rolls her neck, sighing when she feels it crack, “Man, you should be paying me for this.”
You make a heart with your hands, “I only have love to give you.”
“Hmm,” Miwa hums, not hearing you, and you nudge Osamu with your elbow, while maintaining the heart pose. Osamu purses his lips, a hint of annoyance, but copies your pose, even adding an air kiss to send to Miwa.
But Miwa just raises a brow at you both. You sigh, turning to Osamu, “What do you think?”
“I only have five oranges and an expired milk in the fridge,” Osamu whispers.
You furrow your brows, trying to think hard about what you could offer. Osamu snaps his fingers, and you look at him excited, “You have something?”
Osamu nods, “Rin owes me a favor, so we can volunteer him.”
You nod at that, pleased. They turn to Miwa and offer exactly that, “Whatever you want, Rintarou will provide.”
“Oh?” Miwa’s eyes turn from full moons to happy crescents, “Would he be okay with that?”
“Miwa, please,” you snort, “Rin would be honored. Anyway, what’s next?”
“Well, this is kind of similar to the last point. I kind of want to expand upon it. There’s supporting each other, right? You could do that by giving gifts or by expressing your appreciation for them in words. But I think one of the true marks of caring for your partner is just going out of your way for them. You give up your own time to do these things just to make them happy.”
.
.
.
There was one night in October, where you and Suna had been too lazy to go out on a Friday night and instead, had each opened a bottle of wine and turned on the television. You don’t even remember how you ended up on the National Geographic Channel, but before you knew it, you were both sucked in by a program for Emperor Penguins of all things.
Cute little birds, you and Suna had cooed, bodies warm from the alcohol.
The camera follows the life of a single Emperor penguin, and you watch, riveted, as the baby chick emerges from its egg, underneath the male penguin’s pouch. You watch as it gets fed it’s first meal of krill and fish, as it takes its first step out of the warmth of their parents, and then eventually, being left alone in a creche of penguins while their parents go out to hunt for food.
The documentary tugs at your heartstrings, making it feel for this penguin you’ve watched grow up right before your eyes and in the span of a couple minutes no less. It’s heartwarming to see it make friends and learn how to bear through the cold as it waits for its parents to come back. And then, the narrator started to announce that it was time for the baby penguin to go off on its own with the other baby penguins and start hunting for food for itself.
You remember Suna sitting up straighter then and asking you, “Already? But they’re just babies!”
You agreed but shushed him, so that you could see what happens. Your baby penguin was reluctant to go and needed to be pushed by its parents to join the crowd. The narrator cruelly mentions, it needed to learn or it would starve.
It’s a slow waddle for the baby penguin and its comrades to the ocean. A treacherous road too; the show had shown a small segment where the babies had been followed by a skua bird. The baby penguin almost gets picked on, but the other penguins had quickly made a barrier around it and an Adelie penguin comes to save the day and finish escorting them to the water. Through the ordeal, your heart had beat fast, and Suna must have been nervous too, with the way he was clutching tightly to the pillow. You hold your breaths as it finally reaches the blue waters, watching as your baby penguin hesitates the slightest bit, and then a video montage of its journey from birth, its trials and wins, everything it took to get there plays. There’s some orchestral strings in the background to support the scene, and it tugged hard at the heart.
Before you knew it, the penguin was a baby no more and it jumped into the ocean, off to fend for itself in search of food. You felt your eyes water, not knowing why you were so touched by the growth of a little bird. You turned to Suna to make excuses of why your eyes were so watery, but Suna was wiping his eyes too. And then, you both started crying, inexplicably so.
Maybe it was the alcohol, which had made you both a little bit loose, a little less guarded. For when you both settled on the couch to sleep that night, you said, “I’m glad I’m not a penguin.”
“Why?” Suna had asked, softly in the dark.
You shrugged a little, eyes almost closed, “I don’t think I could’ve just left home like that, so young. It was just a baby.”
Suna laughed, “But we did. Eighteen is young. We looked like babies at the beginning of university.”
“I guess,”you acquiesce. And then another question: “Do you think the baby penguin misses home?”
Suna was almost asleep but he still answered, “I think so. It looked back just before it left. That’s how you know.”
“Know what?”
“When someone is longing.”
You snorted, “That sounded really deep. Are you sure you don’t want to be a poet?” And also, you mumbled, “What does that say about us? We both got on the high speed rail to Tokyo and never looked back.”
Suna made a soft noise of disagreement, “We do. We do it all the time. When you stop in the middle of the street because you smell something like your mom’s perfume. Or when, I see a puppy that looks just like mine back home. We miss it.” Suna reached over and patted your chest, “And it aches, just slightly, right here.”
You touched the hand on his chest, patting it, “What should I do then, when it aches? What do you do?”
“We call our moms and tell them we miss them. Maybe look at the moon. When that’s not enough, I just look at you though.”
“Why look at me?”
“Why not? You’re my oldest friend. My childhood friend. If nothing else, you feel like home.”
You had been so touched when Suna said that, you prayed that Suna had fallen asleep immediately as he said that, so you could emote properly in peace. But Suna never lets you live and never lets up whether you’re embarrassed, crying, or angry. Suna had cooed at you, half-asleep, voice hoarse, and said, “Wah, that baby penguin is braver than you.”
But it’s true. You’re made of puffed air bravado. And sometimes, when you run out of it, Suna is the only person who knows you well enough to grab you aside, cheer you up, and reassure you that everything’s going to be okay. Suna is the lighthouse of your universe, your home away from home.
So it becomes a habit, that when you’re missing home, it’s Suna you turn to. And Suna will pull you tighter, be more affectionate, and let you sleep over without you even needing to ask.
These days, though, you try hard not to lean on him so much. You know Suna is secretly stressed out about his classes, that he’s been spending his time between working harder to do better and hanging out with Miwa. And you just don’t want to add on to his plate.
Homesickness is a disease that hits the hardest in the middle of a semester, so if you’re feeling a little blue, a bit more quiet, a shade more dim, everyone’s thankfully a little too busy to notice. It feels nice in a way, to carry the loneliness in a corked bottle, only to pull it open when alone. This way, it ferments like grapes, turning something sour into something dark and bitter and sweet, good enough for you to savor in a dark room lit by the moon.
Some things you shouldn’t share.
But the moon can only witness so much, and there is only so much loneliness you can carry before your own hands get too tired. With each passing day, you have less energy to pretend everything’s alright. You just want to stay in bed and count down the days till you get to go home. But there’s classes, and clubs, and work, and homework — you’re just so tired of it all.
The only thing getting you through it are your friends. Even if they don’t know what’s going on with you, just by being with them and making them laugh brightens your day. You get this thought in your head, as a joke you say brings everyone to tears with laughter, that you’re getting good at this, masking loneliness.
And just when you think that, you get the biggest surprise when Osamu asks you to stay back at the end of a get together between your newly formed dinner-on-the-floor group. You had intended to go home, passing on the invite to get dessert from Suna, Miwa and Akaashi, but Osamu had held you by the hand to stop you and asked, “Can we talk? Just us?”
You’re sitting on Osamu’s bed, and you’re wondering what the hell Osamu wants to talk about. Was it about the practice dating? Was he getting sick of it? Did he want to stop doing it? You try to act nonchalant, looking everywhere but him, who was maybe trying to brave his way through breaking your heart.
“Y/N,” Osamu says, taking your hand into his lap and interlacing your fingers, “Is there something that’s been bothering you?”
The question catches you off guard. You blink as you digest the question, before carefully asking back, “What makes you ask that?”
“It’s nothing,” Osamu sighs, looking down at your hands, “It’s just that you’ve been a bit more quiet lately and I know that could mean nothing, but I figured I’d ask.”
“I thought I’d been acting the same?” Maybe you weren’t as good of an actor as you thought yourself to be.
Osamu shrugs, “I don’t know. Maybe I thought wrong. It just felt like you didn’t have that glow you usually have.”
You don’t know why, but that makes you snort so loud, “I glow? Samu, you think I glow? Like I have a light around me? Bro… that is so romantic…”
“Fuck you,” Osamu scowls, letting go of your hand, but you’re quick to grab them back in your hold, laughing the whole time. You laugh and laugh, finding yourself falling over him, your face onto his shoulder. And then something terrible happens.
Somehow, your laughs subside into tears, like rain starting to fall on a bright sunny day. It shocks both of you, leading both of you to fumble: you away, desperately trying to shield your eyes, and Osamu closer, unsure hands hovering over your frame.
“Oh no,” Osamu says, worriedly. “Did I fuck up? God, Rin is going to kill me—”
“I’m okay, I’m okay,” you assure him, hastily wiping your eyes with the sleeve of your shirt.
Osamu sighs with worry, “No, no, you’re not. Why are you trying to comfort me? What’s wrong? Do you want to talk about it?”
You nod, but when you try to speak, you just get all choked up. Like you’re trying to summon the feeling, but it’s stuck right in your chest. It’s this goddamn ache.
Osamu decisively hugs you then, wrapping you in his arms and warmth, patting you on the back, shushing you, “It’s okay, we can talk about it once you’re ready. I’m not Rin, but I’ll listen, okay? I’m here. I’m here.”
It takes an embarrassing amount of time for you to pull yourself together. You’re sorry, so sorry to Osamu and the spot of tears you’ve made on his right shoulder. But it’s nice to have someone to lean on. The loneliness was so heavy, yet here in Osamu’s arms, it feels light like a cloud. You sniffle, “Do you think you could close the lights and then we can talk? It’s embarrassing, I-I don’t want you to see my face.”
“What happened to I’m so pretty the gods would want to steal my face?” Osamu jokes, hoping to pull a laugh, but you only push him to the light switch. “Okay, okay. I’ll turn it off.”
The light had been so unforgiving, and when Osamu turns the lights off, you just feel like you can breathe better. Osamu comes back to bed and you reach for a hug immediately. The way you’re both seated makes the position awkward, though, and Osamu scratches the back of his head, “Do you wanna lay down instead? It would be easier to, you know…”
“Yeah, we could,” you say, feeling around in the dark. Osamu feels your distress and simply maneuvers you both, so that he’s lying on his back and you’re in his arms, head laying on your shoulders, and a blanket pulled over your bodies. Timidly, you say, “This is nice.”
“I’m glad,” Osamu sighs, and when he exhales, you feel it with your own body. Have you ever been this close? “Do you want to talk now?”
You nod, and Osamu must feel the movement with his own body too. “Yeah, I just feel like you’re going to be mad at me when you hear the reason, it’s like not a big deal at all—”
“Why would I be mad? Whatever it is must be really important to you for you to be keeping it in and then suddenly crying this much. It’s just me. You trust me, right?”
You sigh, finally letting any mask you have on drop. “I just miss home. A lot. I want to go home so badly, but I can’t. I miss my mom, my dad, my cat, and even my stupid sister. I miss how my mom smells, especially when she’s cooking. Ugh, I sound like a baby.”
“You are a baby,” Osamu says, fondly, “What else do you miss? What does Aichi have that the great city of Tokyo doesn’t?”
You pouts, “It’s not as cold for one. Winters back home are much nicer. Also, the people there are much friendlier and everybody has the same accent as me.”
“Is that so?” Osamu says, like he’s talking to a baby, words dripping like honey, “But how good can Aichi be, when it doesn’t have this one thing that Tokyo has?”
You close your eyes, “If you’re going to say Aichi doesn’t have you, I don’t want to hear it—”
“Whyyyyy,” Osamu whines, his fingers pressing to your side. A threat to tickle, if you ever saw one. “It’s true.”
“You need to come to Aichi, by the way. You need to see the great views that we have—”
Osamu sighs, “Listen, when I asked if you came here by way of a tractor, you know I was kidding, right?
“Anyway,” you ignore him, lost in his memories, “And the cherry blossoms! There was a long line of trees outside our middle school, and I felt like I was in a drama every time I walked to school. I got really interested in photography back then, and I’d take lots of photos of the streets at that time. I have soooo many photos of Rin, he wasn’t that tall then…” When you get going, you sometimes doesn’t realize how long you’ve gone on talking, and there’s just so much to say about your idyllic childhood.
But then you realize you haven’t heard Osamu speak in a while, so you stop mid-sentence, wondering if he’d fallen asleep. “Samu? Did I put you to sleep?”
“Hm? No, no, you’re okay,” Osamu replies, in a low voice. He sounded like he was close to sleep. “You can keep talking. I’m listening.”
But you feel bad continuing when it’s obvious he’s tired, “It’s okay, I don’t want to burden you with it, I usually talk to Rin about this kind of thing—”
“Seriously, it’s okay,” Osamu insists, but you’re already trying to get up. You fail though, for Osamu’s arm around your waist tightens and your face smacks against his chest.
“Samu,” you whine.
“Y/N,” Osamu says in the same tone, and you can tell he’s rolling his eyes, “Come on, you’re not a burden. Not to me.”
You know he means it as a friend, that it speaks of how Osamu likes to take care of you the way a big brother would, but your traitor of a heart flutters anyway. “Really?” you ask, just to make sure you heard it right.
“You know I adore you, right?” Osamu says, sounding rather shy. He’s getting brave and nice, all because it’s dark. You want to see his face. “Even though all you do is prank me, and bully me, and love Rin over me—”
“I get it—”
“What I’m trying to say is, you can lean on me too. I’m sure Rin’s way better at comforting you and you’ve known him for much longer, but you have me too, okay? You don’t have to keep it all in.”
You don’t know what to say, overwhelmed once again by the affection you feel for him. Instead, you just snuggle closer and say, “Okay. Thank you.”
You then feel the lightest pressure on your head, followed by hands running through your hair. Belatedly, you realise Osamu must have kissed the crown of your head, for he says, “Good, it hurts my heart to see you sad.”
Osamu doesn’t stop petting your head, and you find yourself being lulled to sleep in his arms. There’s nothing else to be said; after all, you have a heart that only needs to be held.
Osamu doesn’t think so though.
You get a random text message from him that Sunday, asking you if you’ve already eaten lunch. Snarkily, you reply: it’s 2 pm on a sunday…i’ve only been awake for ten minutes so far…
Osamu replies with two messages. One was a text with three ellipses. The second just said: well come over and eat with me.
You’re not going to say no to a free ticket for your first meal of the day (you’re not going to say no to him either, but Osamu doesn’t need to know that.)
When you arrive at Osamu’s apartment though, you’re surprised when you don’t see the usual take out boxes or even empty packages of instant ramen littered around the kitchen. Instead, there’s a lovely spread of dishes, bracketed by two bowls of rice, on the small dining table. It’s an understatement to say that it smells delicious. Your mouth is watering.
Osamu is smiling at his reaction, “Hungry?”
You’re just amazed, nodding, “Wow, Samu, where did you get all this?”
“Sit first, come on,” Osamu pushes you to take a seat, and then takes the seat opposite yours. “So yesterday, after you left, I called my mom. I asked her for some recipes of my favourite childhood meals. She facetimed me for hours, going through every recipe one by one because there was just so much.”
And there is so much: Osamu points out the dishes one by one: “There’s tonkatsu, onigiri, nikujaga, udon. Then she taught me how to make her special bowl of miso soup, because it’s something nice and warm to sip on alongside everything else.”
You don’t even know what to say. It all just looks so good? Has onigiri always looked so mouth-wateringly good? Has tonkatsu always looked so succulent? It’s a feast for the eyes.
“Why aren’t you eating yet?” Osamu asks, and you smile, sheepish, “I don’t know what to eat first.”
Osamu huffs a laugh, mumbling so cute, before placing a chunk of beef from the nikujaga on top of his rice. “There, eat that first. Your first meal of the day and you’re starting it with me and home cooked meals. Oh Y/N, you are so privileged.”
You smile at your bowl, too touched by Osamu’s gesture to be bothered by the teasing. Osamu points again at your bowl, “Hurry up! I’m trying to let you eat first and you’re making it very hard for me.”
“Okay, okay!” you say, picking up the beef with your chopsticks and finally, under Osamu’s gaze bites into it. God, the meat is just so tender, and mixed in with the sauce it’s just an explosion of flavour. Your eyes widen at the taste, nodding in approval at Osamu, who’s smile just widens at your reaction. You swallow, “Samu, this is so good. Tell your mom I love her. Home cooked food just hits differently.”
Satisfied with your reaction, Osamu finally starts eating too. The two of you are quiet eaters; there’s not much talking to be done. All you can hear is the sounds of chewing, metal chopsticks clanging against ceramic bowls and saucers, and the pleased sounds coming from both of you. You’re not one for gluttonous eating, but you stuff yourself far more than what you usually eat. It’s so rare for him to eat home cooked meals. He thinks you probably ate more than Osamu, who had wordlessly refilled your bowl with more miso or more meat.
By the time you’ve both cleared everything and left barely any for the trash, you could die happy. You could also go back to sleep, feeling like you’ll pass out from being so full. Maybe you’ll take a nap after you help Osamu clean the dishes.
You stand side by side in the sink, with Osamu washing the dishes and you rinsing them with water and letting it dry on the rack. Already, you feel sleepy again, so happy and content, “Samu, thanks for cooking and sharing the food. It probably would have lasted longer if you didn’t share it with me.”
“That’s true, but going through all that effort would have been pointless if I didn’t share the food with you.”
“Huh? What do you mean?” you turn to face him fully, but Osamu just continues scrubbing. “Didn’t you call your mom just to catch up and get some recipes for your favourite dishes?”
“You’re… not wrong, but I specifically called, because my mom’s the best cook I know. And she’d definitely help me make everything perfectly, just how I liked it.”
You still don’t understand, “What does that have to do with sharing food with me?”
Osamu purses his mouth for a second, then shuts off the faucet and turns to you. “Do I have to spell everything out for you?“
“Spell what out?”
“The other night,” Osamu begins awkwardly, eyes shifting to a point beyond your stare, “you know, when you were talking about missing home?”
“Yes…” you’re biting your tongue. You thought that was going to remain unspoken between you two. It sure had felt that way, when you woke up to Osamu’s sleeping face barely an inch away from yours. That morning had been quiet, the air was cool and accepting, and the sun brought back the light, taking away any remnants of the previous night’s vulnerabilities.
Osamu shoulders on, “And how you missed your mom’s cooking? I’m not sure if I was helpful at all that night, but I thought what if I could get something close to your mom’s cooking?” Osamu stares at you, hoping he could stop explaining by then.
But you look at him expectantly, so Osamu sighs again, “Okay, so I called my mom, whined at her to help me with my mission, and spent the morning cooking, so that I could feed you a nice home cooked meal. Because you miss home.”
Your mind hurriedly calculates the implication of all of this and nearly shuts down at the result it arrives at. You bite your lip, “Because you thought it would make me happy?”
Osamu scratches his head, sighing heavily, like he can’t believe you’re making him say it, “Did it make you happy?”
You don’t know what compels him, if it’s the inadequacy of the word thank you or what, but you lean in and gently kiss Osamu’s cheek. When you pull away, you’re met with the stunned look on Osamu’s face. You give him your best smile, your brightest, all teeth and crinkled corners at the eyes, “Very happy.”
“What was that for?” Osamu asks, but you just shrug, a smile still on your face, and turn back to the dishes waiting for you in the sink.
After realising you weren’t going to respond, Osamu can’t help but just smile back, pressing the back of his hand against your cheek, before turning back to finish the dishes.
It’s an odd way to express how you feel, but it’s like standing underneath a pool of sunlight when it’s cold and grey. You could pocket it and take it out like an umbrella on dark days. You look again at Osamu beside you, and he’s got a smile on his face too.
This is nice, you think. This is a good day.
You remember the practice dating contract suddenly (are all your thoughts an infinite loop that begin and end with Osamu?) and thinks about how this is what Miwa had wanted you to practice. Going out of one’s way to make your partner happy. You bring it up to Osamu and say, “I should be the one trying to make you happy.”
Osamu laughs, “It’s okay, some things you can’t practise until the right moment comes. We’ll just say you learned and understood by watching and receiving.”
You pout, “I guess.”
Osamu shakes his head, putting both his hands on your shoulders. There’s a playful look in his eyes that doesn’t match the serious set of his mouth, and whatever he’s about to say is bound to be troublesome. Osamu gazes deep into your eyes as he says, “As your practice boyfriend, you don’t even need to try. I’m happy because you’re happy.”
You slap his hands away, turning around to face away from him. “That was terrible!” you groan, “Stop quoting the dramas we watch together. God!”
Osamu laughs and laughs and laughs.
Memory can be a faulty little thing, you’ve heard. It misremembers, it blurs, it shapes, and it’s wearing a blindfold as it decides which details to keep. You won’t know what you’ll remember in the future, but you can
“what if i turned into a worm? would you still love me?”
“…..”
“i would be a handsome worm.”
“osamu! ‘tsumu is drunk again!!”
you hear said man groan in annoyance at his twin’s antics. he should’ve never left his brother alone in that reunion party.
why couldn’t osamu just peacefully spend time with his sister-in-law (you asked him to teach you a few dishes he knows and he without hesitation agrees) as well as play with his favorite baby nephew.
feeling quite guilty, you gave your apology to osamu for keeping his time and even needing his assistance to take care of this situation at the moment.
“nothing to be sorry about, (y/n). it’s not your fault this asshat of a husband of yours can’t control his drinking habits.”
you laugh light-heartedly at what he said meanwhile atsumu pouts and protests in the corner as he fiddles with the ends of his bangs.
“i am so not drunk…”
“you said you’d tone down the alcohol 'tsumu. i’m a bit dissaponted in you.”
he senses the seriousness in your tone despite how you make it seem playful. atsumu quickly goes to your side and gives you a side hug.
“great. can’t believe i have to witness him acting like this.”
osamu returns to the kitchen to begin cleaning up everything that you both have used at the same time placing the dishes you’ve managed to cook stored inside your refrigerator. he then directs his attention to his nephew who was busy watching a random cartoon on the television.
“hey, let’s brush your teeth.”
you give atsumu a few pats on the head (you’d let it pass this time), ushering him to get sober enough to help you tuck both your son in bed — a nightly routine you three love to partake in.
he silently lets you lead him to the sink for the bathroom is currently occupied by the other two. you tried asking about how his day went but he tells you he doesn’t remember much right now except for accepting the challenge to chug down so many bottles. you resisted the urge to pull his ear to reprimand him. even as a father he can still be a youngster. well, it’s not as if it wasn’t expected from miya atsumu.
it took half an hour before atsumu and you were able to convince your son to sleep. stepping out of the boy’s room, you two notice osamu casually laid on the sofa. when he does stare at you and his twin, he points at the kitchen. looking at it, you found it already nice and tidy.
“thanks for today, osamu.”
“anytime, (y/n).”
his brother only sends him a thumbs up, too stubborn to verbally praise the other. osamu rolls his eyes, stands up just to smack atsumu’s back which in turn results with the blonde screaming in anger.
since he knows you were there with him (and osamu was in his territory), atsumu wraps your arms around his waist so you were giving him a back hug and proceed to stick his tongue out. this without a doubt aggravates his twin more because of how childlike he was being.
“not the dog energy again. you should just bark instead of talking if you were one, don’t you think so? and stop using (y/n) for your immaturity!”
“says the guy who’s always wanting my son’s attention because he’s the only kid who likes you! yer just jealous i have a wife!”
you could only sigh and hope you’d be able to stop or at the least make them yell quieter (if they could do that) so they won’t wake your son or any neighbor up. you then realize the twins were now throwing phrases and words you couldn’t quite understand due to their kansai dialect.
Warnings: Unplanned pregnancy, rejection, mental abuse, confusion in relationships, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, Depression, separation in family, twin brother’s are a pain, A baby daddy, A baby momma, idiotic decisions, regret in the past.
She dropped me off at school before I noticed it some guys all eyed her causing her to wink.
“She’s a college student she can’t date minors like she ever would date any of you ugly pigs.”
She’s always been the one catching the guy’s attention I suppose. I remember a disgusting old teacher had it for my sister.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not jealous I’m just annoyed at the fact that during her time here people approached me to introduce them to her.
“Like hell I’d do that.”
She had her friends while I had mine although I couldn’t stand those jocks she had around.
“They’re all idiots.”
I mumbled feeling irritated as soon as I heard some comments from those boys.
“Ugh I’m getting annoyed.”
Always the same things like:
“Such a shame the hotter one graduated already”
“Although (Y/N) is still hot but doesn’t really take advantage of it.”
I took out my headphones putting them on ignoring the comments and walked inside the school.
“Much better.”
I continued walking but stopped when I no longer heard the music due to feeling a sharp pain in my lower stomach which lasted a couple seconds.
“Ah..”
I clutched my stomach and then I took a few deep breaths.
I mean It felt like some one stabbed me in the stomach although before I knew it the small pain was gone.
“What was that..”
I mumbled.
“(Y/N)!”
I turned around and noticed my best friend who ran and hugged me.
“Akira.”
“Hey you alright?”
“Just a small stomachache other than that I’m fine.”
“Why do I look that bad?”
“You seemed a little odd earlier! Let me guess it’s the same thing that keeps bothering you lately.”
“Yup, the usual I’m literally forgetting what a normal family is and it’s gotten worse when my sister brings new guys home and they go like rabbits in heat.”
“Honestly I’m surprised she hasn’t gotten pregnant or some type of HIV.”
“Well I’m just glad she’s ok and hasn’t had anything like that happen to her!”
We walked when we heard some squealing of fangirls.
“Miya Twins!”
“Kya their so hot!”
My friend drooled.
“Look how hot they are.”
“Ugh can’t we have a peaceful morning even from you right.”
“They are so hot (Y/N) ya can’t lie litterally.”
English:Shut Up.
I said in English.
“There ya go with yer English.”
“Come on they are the top players in the volleyball ball team the same one your sister was managing remember!”
“Tch, more like wouldn’t shut up about.”
“I’d love to go on at least one date with one of the Miya twins!!”
“Whatever.”
“Maybe have a one night stand with one of them!!”
I froze at her last comment and looked at her annoyed as she babbled nonsense.
“I know I have a boyfriend but even my boyfriend doesn’t really compare although I’d still choose him over them!”
“Ugh even so! They’re so athletic I bet they’d go all night even more that the tennis pla-”
“Just stop talking please.”
I then spotted someone as my eyes sparkled.
“Kita!”
The one person who didn’t annoy me on that team also the coolest person on earth who I admired just as much as those successful people who achieved goals beyond standards in education.
“Kita hey!”
I said happily while he looked and nodded smiling softly before going back to cleaning the locker rooms?
“Uh weird”
“(Y/N)?”
“Hi Kita! How are you doing?”
He pointed at the lockers.
“Well I’m cleaning up the locker rooms for the second years.”
“Why?”
I asked a bit confused.
“I thought you only did you know the volleyball locker rooms. “
“I did already along with mopping the floor.”
“Uh okay?”
“It’s only because the team made a mess last week and it was cleaned but I still feel quite responsible.”
“I see..”
“By the way yer sister how is she? I wanted to apologize to ya for last time. I’m sorry ya had to see that.”
“It was months ago I’ll get over it.”
Even he couldn’t escape my sister’s grasp.
I frowned a bit.
Flashback 10 Months Ago
“Guess what!”
She said excitedly staring at me
“Yeah?”
“I know a second year is gonna confess to me! He’s on the volleyball team!”
“I see.”
“Aren’t you curious?”
I shook my head.
“Not at the least.”
She smirked knowing what she said next would get my attention.
“Well I’m positive it’s Kita Shinsuke.”
“What?”
I looked back noticing her smile more like a mocking smile
“K-Kita?”
“Yeah the guy you’re head over heals in love with right? Such a shame right?”
I didn’t say anything looking away before going back to my study book.
“Come on that doesn’t hurt?”
I didn’t say anything.
“Who cares besides I don’t like him. Also you’re not sure it’s actually him.”
I was very much in love Kita and somehow already knew by the eyes he gave her all full of attention yet it was obvious she didn’t reciprocate the feeling. She didnt know how much of a lucky bitch she is.
“Anyways a huge party is being thrown at the hotel two blocks away from school and of course”
“Fuck no.”
“Awe come on! If it makes you feel better it’s only the volleyball team and their friends including me I’ve invited a couple guys and girls well maybe more than a couple.”
(Knowing you the whole school.)
“Come on!”
“I said no.”
“The Miya twins are going!”
“Why the fuck do I care.”
“Well then suite yourself.”
She got up turning around then said something which made me change my mind completely.
“I’m taking Kita and I think I’ll take the confession he’s gonna give me there.”
I stopped reading my book and she knew she struck a nerve.
“Who knows if I start dating kita you might see him more often then again I think I’ll just have some temporary fun.”
“I’m not going.”
“Whatever but if you change your mind I left you a dress and shoes on my desk since you have absolutely no sense of fashion.”
“For the last time I’m not going.”
I grit my teeth while she grinned not facing me as she knew that kita was my huge crush and who doesn’t wanna find out if they’re crush really likes that person.
“She’s gonna hurt him.”
“What if he needs someone after.. ugh I won’t know unless I go to that darn stupid jock out party besides what could happen me just getting my heart broken. Who knew that the turn out was very unexpected to say the least.”
…….
End of flashback
“You okay? Ya zoned out for a bit.”
“Yeah I’m fine sorry about that.”
I smiled before it quickly turned into a frown when I felt a sharp pain again.
I clutched my stomach wincing at the pain but vanished as quickly as it came.
“Does your stomach hurt?”
I shook my head as the pain subsided.
“I’m f-fine.”
I noticed the mop.
“I think that water needs a change.”
He looked at the mop he was holding along with the water needed a change.
“I’m gonna go change the water to the mop so I’ll see you around.”
I smiled again waving then heard someone from behind quickly losing my smile and replaced it with a frown when a certain person spoke.
“Well now if it isn’t Ms. Foreigner”
My friend who stayed silent smiled and squealed.
“Miya Twins!”
She waved at them while Atsumu looked and grinned waving.
“Nice to see you guys!!!”
She said excited at The setter of Inarizaki’s volleyball club along with his brother and a few others from the volleyball team they were apparently considered hot.
“What do you want and don’t call me that.”
I said to him.
“I don’t wanna deal with a headache today.”
Atsumu whistled.
“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”
I glared at him.
Then a boy named suna said something that darn right pissed me off.
“You seem half dead today.”
“Shut up and leave me alone.”
Atsumu smirked.
“I told ya we need a manager since yer sister isn’t here anymore and she recommended ya so how could I say no to that sexy babe.”
I cringed disgusted.
Both of them cut from the same cloth not harboring feelings for eachother more of a platonic friendship I guess?
“I miss her so much!”
He said pouting then looked at me smirking.
“It’s a shame yer hot sister isn’t here anymore but yer kinda hot so I suppose it’s okay ya pass as our manager.”
“Excuse me.”
I said about to snap when suddenly atsumu was elbowed in the stomach by his brother.
“The hell Samu!”
“Shut yer trap and leaver her alone.”
I moved my gaze and accidentally locked eye contact with the grey haired twin who stared back for what seemed to be a while.
I cut the eye contact finally snapping out of it as I turned around walking ahead after his brother ask him a question.
“What’s wrong with you Samu?”
“Nothing ya idiot.”
“What!”
They glared at each other so I left before a fight could break out.
TimeSkip
“I’ll see you in class ok?”
I waved goodbye to Akira and who met with her boyfriend.
I made my way to the gym since P.E. was my first class of the day.
If only I knew what was to come.
To Be Continued
If you want to be tagged let me know! Reblogs appreciated!! Oh and comments to!
Warnings: Unplanned pregnancy, rejection, mental abuse, confusion in relationships, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, Depression, separation in family, twin brother’s are a pain, A baby daddy, A baby momma, idiotic decisions, regret in the past.
I sat on I desk writing in my notebook fixing the agenda thinking about mid term finals.
“I just need this last part with this piece of information and I’ll turn it in for a presentation.”
“Finally then I’ll be at ea-”
I closed my eyes relaxing for a bit and stared at a poster of my favorite American singer after all I am a foreigner.
“Sigh, I have a headache.”
I closed my eyes dozing off for a bit the lack of sleep finally taking over.
When all of a sudden I head in living room and English song being sound louder than life and more awful than a squealing dying pig.
“Oh my gosh.”
I got up rushing into the hallway and into the room across me while the music blasted.
She looked at me smiling dancing and she seemed to be wearing a man’s shirt.
“Hey! Katherine! I know we’re American but we don’t have to act like they do in the movies! Now shush I’m trying to work on my essay presentation aka Mid final!”
“Sorry about that but you won’t believe what happened last night..”
I sighed annoyed when I noticed something on the ground and it wasn’t just anything.
“Oh my gosh is that a condom full of cum on the ground?!”
She pouts then puffed her cheeks.
“We where to tired plus it’s not like I expect the poor guy to stay a forever virgin.”
“I don’t expect a virgin like you to understand.”
I froze turning away annoyed and slightly embarrassed.
“Oh shut up.”
“In fact (Y/N) I’ll have you know I took his virginity last night! I was hot guy’s first time!!! He totally gives fuckboy vibes I mean he’s on the basket ball team for my college! By the way it was huge!
Katherine drooled lost in thought.
“The way he pushed in and groa-”
“ENOUGH!”
I pinched the bridge of my nose.
“Shut up I don’t want to hear this anymore or I’m gonna be sick.”
“What! It was good sex!”
I cringed.
“You’re both disgusting since you just left a condom on the ground now please shut up and let me work in piece. Now clean your disgusting mess up!”
I turned around heading to my room and heard the cheering of my sister practicing her routines since she was a popular cheerleader.
Sigh I put headphones on trying to ignore her and felt better.
“All done.”
I turned in the assignment before I had second thoughts and look at the time.
“It’s time to go to school.”
I grabbed my uniform from the closet putting on then walked to the living room.
“Katherine aren’t you going to school today?”
She looked at me.
“Yeah after all I am a college student!”
I rolled my eyes.
(What you mean by only going to school to flirt with jocks and cheer like you’re still in high school.)
“Yeah are you ready to go?”
I nodded.
“I wouldn’t be asking you if I was.”
“You’re not wearing your brown hair wig?”
I nodded.
“I’m gonna be late fixing it up.”
“I don’t see why you don’t just dye your hair.”
I glared.
“So do I need to remind you I have to no time for that stuff.”
“Right, By the way did you hear mom say she was gonna come home today?”
“Whatever, what happened last time she said she was coming back then at the last minute a business trip she didn’t even bother coming home for one measly day.”
“Are you crying?!”
She asked me.
“Shut up no I’m not!”
I felt tears slip through eyes before breaking down.
“She’s the worst I won’t even bother about dad.”
“All he does is work! Why?!”
She got up and hugged me.
“Uh what are you doing?”
“Hugging my little sister you could use it you seem so down lately I guess you’re hitting your breaking point”
“Oh whatever let’s get going.”
She smiled while I kept my frown.
(You and me are totally different you know that.)
To Be Continued
If you want to be tagged let me know! Reblogs appreciated
Warnings: Unplanned pregnancy, rejection, mental abuse, confusion in relationships, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, Depression, separation in family, twin brother’s are a pain, A baby daddy, A baby momma, idiotic decisions, regret in the past.
My sister said in English while my mom stood next to me with a worried expression and a bit confused.
W-What happened..”
You just had a baby so just rest ok?”
My mom said patting my head.
“Take a good rest alright we’ll talk about this later then you can meet her..”
“No I didn’t have a baby! That thing isn’t mine!”
Before I could say anything else everything went black.
I slowly opened my eyes looking at the unfamiliar surroundings realizing that I was in a hospital gown feeling numb from the east down but I’ll take this over that horrible stomach ache.
“You’re up daring.”
“Mom?”
She held a small bundle in her arms walking closer.
“I didn’t know I was pregnant mom.. I mean it I promise I never wanted this! Don’t be mad please.”
My mom didn’t take her eyes off the small bundle all she did was smile softly and then looked at me.
“Mom?”
“Here (Y/N) look it’s your daughter congratulations on becoming a mom to a baby girl.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“No way in hell.”
I turned around not facing her and that thing.
“I don’t want it.”
My mom frowned.
“Don’t say that she’s your daughter.”
(You must be joking,)
“I don’t want that thing near me! Get it the hell away from me.”
As on the cue the baby cried while my mother frowned staring into the child’s eyes glistening with tears.
“WAAAAAH”
“Shut it up! Bad enough I have to deal with pain all over.”
I sighed annoyed.
“WAAAAAAAAH”
“Why won’t it stop crying ugh!”
I turned around sitting up while my mom tried to calm the infant down .
“Well you were out for about a day and your daughter she’s hungry and has to eat (Y/N) so you have to breast feed her.”
“What? Then Feed her!”
“Sigh, I’m not the mom you are.”
“Don’t say that! I will have that creature latch onto my boob!”
My mom rolled her eyes setting the baby on the bassinet and called the nurse.
A nurse walked in with a baby bottle.
“Then we’ll have no choice but to feed her with powdered milk since her mother’s breast milk is off limits.”
“Wait a minute.”
“You’re not feeding her that it gave me a rash as a baby. Won’t that be passed onto her?”
“It’s a possibility.”
I sighed.
“Fine I’ll feed her but use the breast pumper I don’t want to breast feed her.”
I nurse nodded.
….
“(Y/N) you’re awake!”
“Another headache.”
I mumbled.
“I brought food since hospital food is disgusting plus it’s your favorite!”
She set the food down then nothing the bundle is our moms arms.
“She’s not crying today and super calm!”
My sister squealed excitedly rushing noticing the little baby with the pacifier.
“She’s so ado-”
She stopped then looked at me shocked.
“Is something wrong Katherine?”
My mom asked while Katherine shook her head.
“No it’s just she’s got really beautiful eyes.”
My sister set the food down and turned around away from us.
“(Y/N), I’ll talk to you later okay? I-I’ve got homework.”
I looked at her confused.
(What’s up her behind?)
“Ok darling see you later!”
My mother said while my sister nodded awkwardly walking outside.
“Look at how happy your daughter is although what would make her even happier is if her mother were the one doing it.”
“Ugh.”
Don’t you want to hold your daughter?
“When are we putting that thing for adoption.”
My mother frowned.
“You’re not serious my going to do that right?”
I didn’t Answer.
“(Y/N), she’s your daughter and I promise when you hold her in your arms you’ll come to love her I know you wouldn’t be so cruel to give you child away I won’t let you make a mistake!”
I faced her angered finally snapping.
“WELL I HAVE A FUTURE AND THAT THING I NEVER WANTED IS IN THE WAY”
I yelled startling the baby who immediately let out a shrill cry.
“You scared her.”
My mom contorted the baby who slowly calmed down and finished drinking the milk.
“You know she’s calm as a baby I’m surprised you were a little gremlin. She certainly didn’t get that from you.”
I rolled my eyes and covered my head with the pillow.
“I’m serious mom I don’t want that thing in my life.”
(Y/N)’s mom didn’t ask any questions about the father yet because her daughter was already exhausted enough as it is so it should be a question for another day.
The baby girl finished her milk while Jessica decided to burp her.
Katherine walked to her car as soon as she got in she took out a picture smiling sadly.
“Hayato..”
She looked at the picture of a handsome older man who was next to her.
His beautiful grey eyes that matched his son’s.
“If only you weren’t to guilty to leave your wife..”
Flashback A Year Ago.
She kissed him and hugged him.
“I love you.”
“I love ya too..”
“Even if I’m only 19?”
He nodded.
“It’s just your married Haya..”
He frowned.
“I know but I love ya don’t ever forget that.”
“Even if my wife is with me I can’t bring myself to look at her the same when I’ve got ya.”
She kissed his lips.
“Your wife hates me and if your son’s find out they’ll despise me.”
“Both of us sweetheart.”
They giggled kissing each other both forgetting that their love is taboo.
To Be Continued
Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!
Warnings: Unplanned pregnancy, rejection, mental abuse, confusion in relationships, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, Depression, separation in family, twin brother’s are a pain, A baby daddy, A baby momma, idiotic decisions, regret in the past.
Akira asked me but the nausea along with the sharp pain grew stronger.
Unable to answer I ran more like staggered to the bathroom stall locking it and threw up feeling the sharp pain get worse but this time it wasn’t going away.
“IT HURTS!!”
I screamed in pain gripping my stomach.
“Someone help I can’t take this pain..”
“Hang on I’ll go get help!”
Akira said rushing to find the teacher.
“It fucking hurts!”
Each deep breath I took did ease the pain a little but just taking a breath was painful.
“I feel like I’m fucking going to die from this pain!”
I yelled feeling like I was about to pass out not long after a teacher named Yuka knocked on the stall.
“Are you okay (Y/N)?!”
I shook my head crying from the pain.
“Ms. Yuca It’s hurts so much I think somethings wrong with me!”
I then looked at my legs and saw period blood.
No it was more of a light pinkish watery blood.
…..
“There’s blood Ms. Yuca, something’s wrong more is coming out!”
I yelled feeling disgusted and in pain.
“OH MY FUCKING GOSH!!”
“(Y/N), the ambulance is on their way! Hang on sweetie.”
She knocked on the stall.
“I’m gonna need ya to open the stall ok? I need to check on you.. Can you open the stall?”
I sobbed in agony slowly barely crawling opening the stall.
“(Y/N)!”
“H-Help please.. I-I think I’m dying..”
I gripped onto her hand squeezing it tightly
“Ok calm down and take a few deep breaths..”
“It hurts.. so fucking bad…”
“Ms. what is arghh happening to me..”
“I don’t know but it’ll be alright I’m here.”
I smiled but quickly yelled feeling another sharp pain as I touched my lower stomach in pain.
“The ambulance is here!”
Akira said while two men with a stretcher came.
The whole class as well as half of the school witnessed the scene of the paramedics taking her out as she clutched her stomach yelling and a certain group of volleyball players where there including the Miya Twins.
“(Y/N)!”
(Y/N) POV
Katherine rushed out of the car running into inside the ambulance vehicle after her sister.
The ambulance took me away as I cried yelling out in pain leaving the school surprised and a bit scared.
“(Y/N)! I’m here!”
My sister rushed into the ambulances car
“My stomach hurts..”
I screamed gripping my sister’s hand while the nurse walked over.
“Okay (Y/N) stay calm and breathe Mom is on her way too!”
“M-Mom?”
“She is now calm down and breath ok?”
I tried breathing but yelled out unable to even open my eyes wincing in the pain.
“I C-CAN’T”
“(Y/N)..”
My sister’s eyes widened noticing blood.
“I can’t move anymore It hurts so much why won’t the pain stop!”
She looked at the doctor panicked.
“She’s bleeding a lot is she ok?!”
Katherine said concerned.
“Her blood is everywhere!”
The nurse checked my forhead.
“I don’t think that’s blood.”
The nurse said slightly getting a bit nervous and felt my pulse with her hand as her eyes widened as she turned to look at me.
“(Y/N) I’m gonna ask you some questions”
I nodded as another wave of pain hit me.
“Fuck!”
“Alright now.”
“Are you pregnant?”
“No she’s not look at her flat stomach on top of that she’s a virgin!”
My sister said angry then turned to me.
“Right?!”
“According to her pulse it indicates that she’s currently holding a child inside of her.”
“Wait what?!”
My sister screamed staring at me as I shook my head.
“No way I’m not pregnant!”
I yelled feeling something down move inside my stomach.
“I didn’t have any symptoms so fuck that!”
I shook my head in pain.
“I think it’s a cryptic pregnancy.”
She said.
“I’m not pregnant!”
She touched my stomach pushing it a bit.
“Okay wow we’re about to go into labor”
“WHAT! My sister isn’t really pregnant right?!”
“No doctor you’re wrong! I’m not pre-“
I screamed and felt the need to push to relieve the pain.
“You felt that right?”
The nurse said.
“What was that?!”
“It means you’re about to go into labor the baby is coming now.”
She looked at the driver.
“Her contractions are closer to each other I’ll prepare everything as soon as we get down straight of to the labor room.”
“(Y/N), what is going on?!”
My sister said in disbelief.
“(Y/N).. I need you to calm down alright we’re about to begin.”
The nurse took off my skirt and underwear putting a hospital gown over my shirt.
“I don’t have a baby in there!!!”
I panicked moving and trying to get up but couldn’t due to the nurses holding me down along with the sharp pain in my stomach.
“(Y/N), We’re almost done ok?! The baby will be here soon…”
My sister said still shocked as I gripped her hand in pain.
“I’m not fucking pregnant no way!”
I felt something move from inside me followed by what seemed to be clear water?!
“W-What was that!”
The baby is coming now I’ll need you to push on the count to three.
One
Two
Three
Now push!
I pushed still very confused at what was happening as we repeated the process many more times which I couldn’t tell what was going on.
Now Push!
I yelled feeling something after the nurse told me to push I did and felt something come out.
“It’s the head almost there!”
“Nurses get ready!”
I made a few more pushes noticing the blood everywhere feeling something skirmish down my legs.
“Last one you’re okay.”
“I pushed and heard the cries of an infant ..”
I took a glance barely concious and saw that the nurse held a small bloody crying infant in her arms.
Meanwhile
Osamu POV
Osamu was lost in though despite just winning the match with cross court shot.
“Babe! Congratulations you just won the game!”
He was snapped out of his daze a she kissed him on the lips.
“That’s my baby boo! Congratulations on wining the game!”
“T-Thanks..”
“Are ya ok?”
“U-Uh I’m fine now quit clinging is not like we’re dating..”
“Woah yer stuttering yer that in love with me!”
She kissed him again.
“Come on soon you’ll have to say yes to your fwb right?”
She grinned smiling.
“Maybe this will change your mind!”
“Hear this babe, I’m totally gonna win this year’s student award no more third or second place due to (Y/N) and her sister!”
He looked at her.
“What do ya mean by that?”
She grinned leaning in and whispered
“Did ya hear.”
She said looking straight at Osamu.
“According to my brother who works at the hospital.”
“(Y/N), just had a baby.”
(What?)
“Ya know what that means! With her and Katherine gone I’m gonna win the award this year.”
“A b-baby…”
He said shocked and confused letting go of his fwb’s hand.
“Osamu?”
“Uh I gotta go.”
He said quickly walking to the team while she looked at him walk away.
“What kinda reaction was that?”
She shrugged her shoulders.
“You’re ok sis!”
My sister said in English while my mom stood next to me with a worried expression and a bit confused.
“W-What happened..”
“You just had a baby so just rest ok?”
My mom said patting my head.
“Take a good rest alright we’ll talk about this later when you can meet her..”
“No I didn’t have a baby! That thing isn’t mine!”
Before I could say anything else everything went black.
To Be Continued
If you want to be tagged feel free to let me know! Reblogs and comments are appreciated!
Warnings: Unplanned pregnancy, rejection, mental abuse, confusion in relationships, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, Depression, separation in family, twin brother’s are a pain, A baby daddy, A baby momma, idiotic decisions, regret in the past.
I moved my gaze and accidentally locked eye contact with the grey haired twin who stared back what seemed to be a whole before I turned around walking ahead after his brother ask him a question.
“What’s wrong with you Samu?”
“Nothing ya idiot.”
“What!”
They glared at each other knowing what was about to happen I left before a fight could break out along with Akira.
“I’ll see you in class ok?.”
She nodded.
“Okay (Y/N).”
I waved goodbye to Akira and who met with her boyfriend.
……
Osamu POV
“There she goes again just like that..”
Flashback
Multiple bottles of spiked drinks and alcoholic gummy bears with Onigiri covered in Sakē
He pulled her in before they knew it he met her lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck when they separated both equally flushed, swollen lips due to kissing, out of breath, and drunk..
“Ya know..”
He kissed her ear and whispered seductively.
“This is a hotel and I’ve got a room for the night..”
He kissed her neck pulling her closer.
“Yer so beautiful.”
He looked into her heartbroken eyes which earlier had been filled with tears.
“You’ll make me forget?”
“Of course darling what else am I good for like ya said.”
“You’ll be my first.”
“I’ll take care of ya.”
Hence forth he took her both still conscious of their actions through out the night a nerdy goody two shoes and a cocky Jock.
But that night he felt more insecure than he had ever before.. “ A measly one time fuck with an obnoxious girl full of herself could never be compared with her.
She was different..
Even after all that time he couldn’t forget their heavy breathing both naked on top of eachother bodies molding perfectly in sync. The unforgettable scent of her taste.
A taste he could have forever in his life even so unfortunately time was limited which made him prolonged the night as much as he could even if he broke his own rules.
End of flashback
“Samu, we have a game today and ya better not be spacing out like a brat lost at the mall.”
Osamu didn’t reply since he was still lost in thought to that night..
“SAMU GET YER HEAD TOGETHER AND STOP SPACING OFF LIKE A GRANDMA WITH DEMENTEN!”
He yelled annoying Osamu irritating him.
“Shut yer annoying ass up and It’s Dementia retard!”
“What did ya say stupid dead eyes!”
“Shut the hell up of my eyes are dead yer eyes are plain stupid!”
“What did ya say ugh! I can’t stand yer face!”
“Ya piss me off”
Suna took out his phone and used it not bothering to stop the fight while some of the other team members did.
I made my way to the gym since P.E. was my first class of the day.
I walked into the locker room heading to my locker. Lost in thought about all the comments about me being compared to my sister.
“I’m so sick and tired of being compared the her figure.”
“I’m so sick of people hitting on me acting like I’m just like her.”
“Kita..”
I said frowning knowing there’s no chance he’ll ever want me after that night..
“Sigh, to late now.”
I took out my clothes for P.E.
“Just wanna graduate so I can get out of here and go to a prestigious University with a great program from a scholarship I earned from hard work.”
I grinned.
“First I’ll get out of Hyogo and start my new life! I like the sound of tha-“ “Ah..”
I didn’t finish my sentence and was brought back to modern time due my stomach feeling a sharp pain.
“Ah!”
I groaned in pain nearly screaming clutching my stomach.
This time it was a million times worse.
“Ouch..”
I felt nauseous and dizzy.
“Oh fuck that hurts a lot…”
I nearly almost screamed as the pain persisted and went away every couple seconds but came back each time worse.
“It won’t stop!”
I crouch down because standing up hurt like a bitch.
“(Y/N)?”
My friend Sayala asked me along with Akira who just walked in.
“Hey is your stomach still hurting?”
Akira asked me but the nausea along with the sharp pain grew stronger.
Unable to answer I ran more like staggered to the bathroom stall locking it and threw up feeling the sharp pain get worse but this time it wasn’t going away.
“IT HURTS!!”
I screamed in pain gripping my stomach
“Someone help I can’t take this pain..”
“Hang on I’ll go get help!”
Akira said rushing to find the teacher.
“It fucking hurts!”
Each deep breath I took did ease the pain a little but just taking a breath was painful.
“I feel like I’m fucking going to die from this pain!”
I yelled feeling like I was about to pass out not long after a teacher named Yuka knocked on the stall.
“Are you okay (Y/N)?!”
I shook my head crying from the pain.
“Ms. Yuca It’s hurts so much I think somethings wrong with me!”
I then looked at my legs and saw period blood.
No it was more of a light pinkish watery blood.
To Be Continued
If you want to be tagged let me know! Comments and reblogs are appreciated!!
A collection of short drabbles that follow Atsumu as he navigates through this strange transition with you of being close friends since childhood to something possibly more.
A collection of short drabbles that follow Suna through the affections he knows he shouldn’t have for you, his best friend, because he’s terrified of what this may mean.
remind yourself to thank the heavens for rainy weather later on. sure, a week’s worth of laundry and muddied rubber shoes await your attention, but how could you? how could you manage to peel yourself away from where the bed dipped to adapt to your sleeping position, wriggle out of the blanket that had begun to absorb your warmth, and now shielded you from the cold?
the skies weep on your behalf. another body laying flush against your back, cupping you perfectly in the curve of their chest.
broken snores and limp hands are wrapped around your waist — a signal that they are still fast asleep, earning you free reign to turn and litter their face with kisses, smiling after each one.
it was quite funny, if you were being honest. the other’s face smooshed into one side where the pillow dipped and crinkled with a small pool of drool. their face was absent of any wrinkle indicating stress and it makes your heart swell. to be able to behold their state of vulnerability and calm.
it was moments like these that made you question whether or not you were even truly human. mortal. flesh and blood. you could’ve sworn you were fully engulfed by this lightness of being; all your humanly weight stripped off by the moment. skin and blood cowering away from you with each kiss and touch.
you lay on your back to look at the ceiling while rain play their song around you, drumming in disorganized harmony over surfaces. the curtain gently flaps to accomodate the chilly breeze, and birds rush past in search for shelter.
yes. you are in fact here. in the moment. in the flesh.
something shifts beside you.
their eyes meet yours, still droopy and puffy from sleep. you offer them a small smile while they slowly blink in the morning light and mouth you a ‘good morning’.
you playfully wrinkle your nose to complain about morning bad breath, earning a groan and even more stirring from the other figure. each giggle and hum sheds sleep away from the both of you.
it was moments like these where you hug them a little tighter, kiss them a little deeper, and hold them a little closer. you fear anything less than that will reduce either of you to a barely-present spectre.
you want to feel the rough pads of their fingers caress every surface of you skin, you want to savor the way chapped morning lips press itself against your shoulder, or how you both fit perfectly into each other in all aspects.
everything is sealed in them pulling you back flush into their skin, your hands curled into little fists in the smallest of spaces between you two. chapped lips press themselves on your forehead. familiar breaths tickle your hair. you can almost feel their steady heartbeats where your forehead rested against their chest.
hands find their way through the sheets to trace patterns on the expanse of your skin that by now, you swear ghosts of mandala designs litter your back. under your breath, you hum a thank you to the grey skies — for the moment, for your lover’s gentle heaving chest, and for being flesh and blood.
notes: i was scrolling through my notes app and found this little thing. i thought it’d be a waste to assign a specific character so i left it open, but you can look at the tags for some character suggestions too. take care!!
>> all words by aero 2021. please do not plagiarize.
a/n: thought i’d give you all a little drabble to feed on while everything else is underworks <3 no, it’s not at all proof read </3
pairing:osamu miya x reader
“What ish ‘dis? What are you doin’?”
“Your cheeks are so soft…”
“Begentle at least,” Osamu huffed, gently tugging at your wrists to alleviate the painful hold you had on them. He sighed as your fingertips remained, slowly sliding your palms back to caress the supple skin.
Although completely enamoured by the man’s cheeks, you stared up into his watchful eyes. His wide, grey eyes absorbed the blueish hues of the sunlight upon slate. They held unspoken affections; silent mantras of love he would sing only within his mind whenever you were in his presence. Unfortunately, they drifted to a gradual close as your thumbs massaged slow, rhythmic circles into his cheeks—his gorgeous gaze hindered by exhaustion.
You could hear the dulcet hums leaking from his quirked lips, drawing your attention down towards the tiny smile he wore. The faint freckles that you ran your fingers over were now the last thing on your mind, your fascination with his cheeks quickly subsiding to make way for your newfound fascination with his lips.
You simply couldn’t help yourself. They just looked so soft… so kissable.He certainly didn’t complain when you lifted his chin with your hands, dropping your head to meet his lips in a chaste exchange. Despite being lip-locked, Osamu continued to hum his soft, silly tune, the vibrations urging a string of giggles from your part.
“I love ya’, darlin’…” He whispered, deciding it was his turn to fondle and fuss with your cheek. You smiled and pressed your forehead to his, brushing the tip of his nose with yours.
“Love you, too.” He closed his eyes once more, thinking you would move in for another kiss as per usual. Oh, how sorely mistaken he was. You shifted quickly, as though you were a soldier on a mission to be the biggest inconvenience possible. You moved your hands back up to his face and squished his cheeks, pushing both palms inwards with a snort.
“You look so stupid,” you snickered out, even more amused at his unimpressed expression. He sighed heavily, brows furrowed.
“Right, that’s it.” He huffed and you froze. “C’mere,you!”
Summary:You have been paired up with Osamu Dazai to smoke out drug dealers but things quickly take a turn for the worst and Dazai is injured.
Warnings:FLUFF, so nothing hectic but it does get a little steamy in the end. Mild Swearing.
Word Count: 2931
A/N:This took long to write and it is a lot longer than my usual work but it is cute and I feel very alone now. Also to those who write Dazai, how do you do it??
____________________________________________
____________________________________________
A drug bust. A simple drug bust.
A group of thugs were illegally selling the stuff to some of the local gangs and it is being redistributed to some of the high school and college kids around the area.
Find them. Find the Stash. Arrest them. Confiscate the stash. No more drugs circulating around schools.
It’s honestly a small request for the agency which often deals in much larger cases so you were nominated to investigate it. You’re relatively new and the experience would be really good for you.
Thus, you were paired with Osamu Dazai. According to Kunikida, he could use the fresh air.
You spare a glance out the window and take note of the setting sun. The light casts deep dancing shadows across the walls. The air feels cold and wet as you take careful steps across the damp bricks. You and Dazai had left the Agency in the early morning and it’s already rapidly approaching evening. Ranpo said we’d be finished by lunch.
A simple Drug Bust. What a joke.
You pad lightly down the dingy hallway. Each deliberate step is cushioned by the moss that appears to have rooted itself on the bricks. The stench is suffocating at best. Dazai had gone off on his own as soon as you stepped inside the dilapidated building. He didn’t explain much, just said that he was going left and you should go right, and that you needed to wait by the east wing. Then he sauntered off leaving you alone.
Asshole
You come across a fork and debate if you should turn left or right. Two pairs of footsteps sound off at the end of the hall on the left. Two people. One pair sounds heavy and reverberates against the walls while the second almost scuffles along with the first. You reach for the gun at your belt. The weight of it resting against your hand gives you a feeling of comfort.
Two men step out from the end of the hallway. You slink back further and cover yourself in shadows. You hope they are enough to cover you completely. A man with a crew cut has his hand wrapped around the other’s arm as he appears to half lead half drag the man across the floor. You’re too far to make out his expression but the stark white of his face lets you know that he’s absolutely terrified. On closer inspection you can see that his other hand is bent at an odd angle. Perhaps, you and Dazai were not the only ones investigating the place. Assuming that Dazai is actually investigating and not lounging around somewhere while you did all the work.
The man opens a side door and yanks the smaller man into the room before following suit. The world has become deathly still once again. Not a sound to be heard. They’re the first two people you’ve seen since entering this damned place. After a minute of silence you emerge from your corner and creep down the hallway. Dazai’s instructions pop back into your head and you hesitate.
They may kill the cop.
Pushing Dazai’s words to the side, you stride forward and give chase.
___
You slip into the room and crouch behind a broken conveyor belt. You slip the gun off your belt and into your hands. Show time.
“Boss, I found this idiot sneaking ‘round back”, the bigger man says. A man steps out of the shadows dressed in a white lab coat and cocky grin. The ringleader walks forward with an air of arrogance, each step sounds deliberate and confident. He has dark eyes and long shoulder length hair. You can’t help but think he has very handsome foreign features.
“Is he a cop?” the leader asks. The large man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a badge and presents it.
“That’s the second one today”, he frowns as he carefully inspects the badge. His long hair falls in gentle waves around his face as he peers down. He then waves a dismissive hand, a frown gracing his handsome features, “The other one is being pursued as we speak. Once he’s been handled we’ll leave. Gather your men and tell them to inspect the surrounding area.”, he turns his attention to the man kneeling on the ground, “Asahi, was it? Tell me, who did you come with?”
Asahi pauses. “No one”
The leader smirks and waves his hand towards his subordinate who swiftly grab Asahi. Taking his remaining good arm in his hands, he twists it. Asahi cries out. The leader simply smiles coldly before he adjusts his glasses for dramatic effect.
“Who did you come with?”
Your mouth goes dry. Where’s Dazai when you need him? Is he the other cop being pursued? Step in now or wait?
The man in the lab coat begins to circle around Asahi who has said nothing but whimpers in pain instead. The leader steps in front of your hiding place with his back turned towards you, still facing the cop. You make a decision. Dazai isn’t here to help you or hold your hand. You grab onto your gun more firmly, you begin to rise, ready to step out.
The doors at the other end of the room fly open. The swing against the walls with a loud bang and you immediately duck back down. Heart in your throat. Who the fuck? Two men step forward both escorting the same man across the floor. He puts up no fight and simply allows himself to be dragged into the room. Hands tied behind his back. They force him into a kneeling position. However, he remains unbothered as a lazy smile graces his features.
Dazai.
This fucking idiot.
Four men. Two hostages. And You are only equipped with a gun.
“Found the other cop.”
Dazai grins, “I’m not a cop.”
Like they care
The man in the lab coat steps forward, ignoring Asahi who’s still kneeling in the other man’s hold and instead approaches Dazai. Dazai’s posture is calm as he lazily scans his environment. His eyes briefly roam over your position.
He says, “I believe I’ve arrived just in time.”
You clutch your gun tighter. Dazai never discussed anything beforehand and you can only think that surely none of this is going right.
An explosion sounds off in the distance and the building shakes. Dazai makes a face of confusion but the glint in his eyes speaks of mischief, “That is exceedingly unusual.”
A smile curls over your lips. Guess he wasn’t lazing around after all. The man in the coat finally drops his cocky grin. All traces of arrogance vanishes. He turns to his subordinates. “Go! Move! Find whatever worms have stumbled across our hideout. Kill anyone you don’t recognize. Take whatever leftover stock you can find and leave”, he shouts.
He spins towards the man still holding the cop, who’s gone completely white from fright. “Not you. You’re going to get me out of here safely. You can dispose of the two cops.”
The man nods and reaches into his jacket. Absolutely not. Somehow having Dazai in the room fuels you with confidence. You waste no time before you spring out of your hiding place. You charge towards the larger man who pauses in surprise as you suddenly rush in front of him. Before he can equip his gun you slam yours into his temple. He stumbles backwards but gathers himself quickly. He charges forward but every painstaking lesson with Fukuzawa flashes before your eyes. Before anyone can react the man has already landed heavily on his back, hands cuffed together.
“Now who the fuck are you?”
You turn towards the man in the lab coat. The boss no longer looks as in control as he did a few minutes ago. He pulls out a gun and points it towards Dazai who narrows his eyes at him before he flashes you a look of warning.
“How many of you are there?!” He demands.
You look around you and pull a face of mock concentration. “I believe there’s three of us here.”
“FUCK YOU!” He takes a step towards Dazai and jams the gun into the back of Dazai’s head. The gun in your own hands feels heavier.
“How many are you?”, he says, voice like steel.
“Drop your gun and I’ll tell you.”
“Only if you drop yours first. Or would you like to see who has the faster trigger finger.?”
You, would in fact, not like to find out. Your earlier confidence begins to fade away. You drop your gun on the floor. He doesn’t budge and simply glares at you and then the gun. You understand and kick the gun forward, far enough so that it’s out of your reach. The man smiles in a way that makes you feel as though he is unhinged. Perhaps, he is.
He steps away from Dazai and towards your gun. He kicks it away so that it clatters against one of the pieces of old equipment. Suddenly, Dazai who has been complacent this whole time stands up and rushes towards him. The ropes around his wrist seem to have disappeared. He leaps forward and the man spins around and fires off gunshots, maybe eight? Panic seizes you and you let out a cry of panic as you spring forward. The leader turns to you with wild eyes but only empty clicks sound from his gun. You immediately grab him and force him to the ground. You hastily cuff him before looking up for Dazai.
“Dazai!” you shout. You leave the man on the ground and run towards him. Dazai stands casually with a smile on his face but his right hand touches his shoulder.
“That was close”, he comments drily as he moves his hand away and inspects the blood. “Just a scratch.”
He grins at you and then walks towards the cop on the floor. “I imagine you arrived alone. Not a very smart move on your part.”
Asahi nods, “Thank You, I’ll call back up and arrest them.”
Dazai turns away from him and heads for the door, “No need. I’ve already called in my own back up. Y/n, Kunikida arrived on scene roughly five minutes ago with Tanizaki and Atsushi.”
You nod silently. He’s acting so calm. And true to his word, the others had shown up with the police in tow. The situation was neatly resolved and you handed over your findings to them. By the time the whole situation was completely resolved, night had descended onto Yokohama and the breeze was chilling.
____________________
“Dazai, what was that?” you ask.
Both of you had left earlier than the others and had met up at the agency. The clock steadily ticks towards 10pm. Your movements feel sluggish but you are wide awake. The events flash behind your eyes on loop. The repetitive gunshots firing in your ears. Dazai looks over at you with a confused look. “A drug bust?”
“Not that, why did you run at him? He had a gun in his hand, he could’ve killed you. Heck, you already got injured. Why would you suddenly rush him like that?”
Dazai simply shrugged. “I knew he wasn’t going to actually hit anything fatal. He could barely hold the gun properly. He wouldn’t have killed me even if I was standing right in front of him with a target between my eyes”
“Don’t be reckless, Dazai.”
“Speaking of “reckless”, why were you there?” I told you to head to the east side of the building and yet you were prancing about the headquarters right into his hands. Romanoff is a dangerous man, he would’ve killed you immediately. Also, I do believe you charged a villain with a gun today.”
Romanoff? Where was this information earlier?
“Nothing even happened on the east side, no one was there, why does it even matter. And don’t you dare compare what you did to what I did. The difference, Dazai, is that that man didn’t have his gun in his hand yet and I did. The difference is also that Yosano can heal whatever injury I walk out with while her gift will never work on you.”
“She can’t fix a corpse”, he seethes at you. You pause. Your face has gone completely red and you can’t believe you’re even arguing with this intolerable man. He’s already been hurt, how much more does he want?
“No”, you eye him carefully. This man is a genius. Out of all your joking and sniping at him, you’ve seen him work. You’ve seen him come up with incredible plans and predict the enemies movement as if they were all nothing but pawns on his chessboard. So why?
“Why did you want me on the east side of the building?” you ask. “When the police were inspecting, there was nothing there. No one was there.”
Dazai says nothing. For a second the only thing that can be heard are your shallow breaths.
“Why did you send me away? Were you going to handle it by yourself?”
Dazai lets out a dry huff of laughter. “You think too much. I thought the ringleader would try and escape that way and then you would’ve been able to catch them off guard.”
You step towards him “But all of the vehicles were on the right, that’s what you blew up.”
“Most leaders will have a second escape route if they’re smart.”
“No one was there, Dazai.”
You walk towards him and he doesn’t move, but only continues to smile with eyes that hide a million little secrets. Perhaps if you stare at them long enough, you will finally unlock hissecrets.
Finally you stand in front of him and reach a hand to grasp the corner of his jacket as he moves back. The material is surprisingly soft in your hands. You stare up at him and his warm eyes meet yours, for once it feels as though a layer of his armour has been stripped away.
“Don’t run away.” you whisper, he’s so close that you fear a harsher sound may break him. That he may recoil once again back into his shell and shut you off again.
He glances away from you and chuckles.
“I’m not made from drywall", you joke lightly, “I can support you, you don’t have to hide me in a corner.”
He doesn’t face you when he responds, “I’m well aware, Little miss detective.”
“I don’t think you are”, you chuckle. You release his coat and reach up to cup his face in your hands. You force him to look at you. Your light smile disappears when you meet his eyes. They are burning. His eyes darken as he watches you, the next layer of armour stripping away when he says, “That was really dangerous, what you did today.”
“Not as dangerous as what you did, I hear they were chasing you all over the place.”
He frowns, “It’s different when I do it.”
“I don’t think so.”
He huffs and leans forward. His ice cold hands reach for you as he cradles your face in his hands. Oddly enough, the cold feels good against your burning cheeks. He brings you closer to him as he leans down towards you.
“You are so frustrating.”
You narrow your eyes at him and playfully frown. “Me? What about you and your vague ass instructions, you know, maybe if you-”
Soft lips press against your own. He steals your breath away along with every last one of your words. His hand that was cradling your face so gently has slipped around your waist as he pushes you flush against him. He’s cold. He’s so cold and you wrap your arms around him. He doesn’t always have to be cold. He doesn’t always have to be alone.
You finally pull away and gasp for air. His eyes burn with intense emotions and he immediately begins kissing your jaw. He nips at your neck before sucking the skin aggressively. His tongue rolls out his mouth as he laps at the area before he moves on to the next. You burn. A shiver runs down your spine and you want him closer. You want to dissolve and drown in him. It’s been so long since you’ve felt like this. His teasing smirks and dry comments have annoyed you to no end and yet he’s here with you against the wall with his long slender finger digging into your hips in the most intoxicating way. You wish for nothing more than for this man to devour you whole. Your hands have tangled into his hair as you tug gently. He groans against your neck and his hand moves further down to grab your thigh rubbing small circles.
“Don’t tease me”, he whispers as his teeth graze your ear.
Summary: Dazai has been weirdly absent from the Agency the whole week. One night, after working late you notice that the light in his room is on. But, he doesn’t seem to be answering you.
Warnings:Mentions of Suicide. Otherwise this is purely a Fluff Fic.
Word Count: 2 011
A/N: This would have been out earlier if it weren’t for two reasons. 1) Dazai is a very complex character to write.( I sincerely hope that I have done him Justice) 2) my computer shut down before posting and nothing was saved. But otherwise Please enjoy!!
Important to note: This occurs between Season 2 and 3. In other words it’s after the Guild arc but before the Cannibalism arc. NO Season 3 Spoilers.
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The night air is icy. A chilling breeze swept through the area and brushed across your skin as you walked home from the Agency building. Today, you worked overtime trying to piece together information from your latest case. Unfortunately you’re not as observant as Dazai or Ranpo who simply glance at a crime scene and pull out handcuffs. Speaking of Dazai, he took the day off unannounced, again. In fact, the whole week he’s been mostly absent, more than usual. Kunikida is going to blow a gasket soon.
You walk quickly towards the Agency’s dorms, enjoying the night air but wanting to get inside as soon as possible. The chill is almost unbearable and the breeze feels piercing. You simply can’t wait to curl up in a blanket with a hot cup of hot chocolate. With this idea in mind you pass by the 24/7 market and purchase two muffins for yourself. With the late night treats in hand you head home and before you know it you’re ready to climb the stairs of the dorms to get to your room. But, suddenly you pause. You take a step back and look down the row of rooms to the very thing that has caught your eye. The last room had a bit of light peeking out of the window. It belongs to Dazai.
You haven’t seen him for most of the week and seeing him up so late is somewhat surprising. Although, it’s not the fact that he’s awake but rather that he’s there at all. Dazai has been like a ghost the past week, impossible to get a hold of and almost nonexistent. Often, his disappearing act results in no one able to find him at all but he’s right over there.
You turn on your heel and head towards the door. What are you going to say? What’s the plan of action? God knows. You just want to see him. Perhaps you could just ask where he’s been the whole week? The week has been impossibly dull without him. Having Dazai at the office normally creates it’s own firework show with his firecracker personality, but he’s surprisingly dependable and you’ve missed him greatly.
You knock on the door twice. Two quick raps that feel deafening in the late night.
Silence.
Not a peak behind the door. You knock again and call out, “Dazai, it’s me.”
Nothing greets you back.
Perhaps, if you were Kunikida you could understand why he wouldn’t want to talk to you but you genuinely feel as though you’ve become close. He’s almost always goofing around but you’ve worked a few cases with him and are awed by his intelligence and the recent intervention with the Guild unearthed a lot of his past. You feel as though you’ve finally seen how complex he truly is. Finding out that he was once part of the Port Mafia was surprising but it also explained a lot of his actions. He revealed a lot to the agency with the air of nonchalance but you knew that it probably didn’t sit comfortably with him to dig up old unpleasant memories. Back then, you’d felt as though a lot of missing puzzle pieces had finally fallen in front of you.
“So… the Port Mafia huh?” you had called out to him. You were alone at the time, both sorting through case files in the office. The words came up because you were curious, no one else had quite spoken to him about it.
“Ahhhh, I can tell you many stories if you like, but I am afraid that they are not very pleasant to the ear.”
You smile at him and shake your head. He seems to have misunderstood your intentions.
“No, that’s not it, I’m just thinking that it makes sense in a weird way. You were never someone they just picked off the street.”, you said and turned to face him. “It’s okay Dazai, truthfully, your past doesn’t matter all that much as long as you’re here looking at a better future.”
He had said nothing, and you didn’t push for him to say anything at all either. You had simply worked in silence until the others had returned. The words were simple but you felt that it needed to be said. You cannot imagine what it must feel like to have a messy past but truly the Agency members would never hold it against him. You felt the need to reassure him.
Your relationship together had always been full of witty banter and flirty comments but after the ordeal, you felt as though he’s become more genuine and open with you. You two, like peas in a pod when working on a case, able to silently communicate and send meaningful glances at one another. Many times you thought to yourself that you would both divulge in a private romance.
But, he always seems to draw away from you at the last second.
Now you stand in front of his door met by absolute silence and you’re feeling somewhat frantic. You look down at your purchased treats and try a different tactic.
“I have Muffins.”
I’m literally putting my food on the line you asshole, you think to yourself. Let me in, it’s freezing.
After another few minutes of silence, he still hasn’t responded. You have also come to the decision that perhaps the muffins aren’t too great a loss anyway. After all, he probably hasn’t been eating. You reach for your bag, wondering if you should attempt to break in with your lock picking kit that you carry around. A precautionary measure. Suddenly, it hits you: Dazai is always going on about suicide this and suicide that. A shiver of fear crawls through you.
Screw it. He can get mad at you later.
You reach for the door and quickly fiddle with the lock only to find that it’s already unlocked.
You careless bastard. You better not be dead.
You quickly wing open the door and step inside. You desperately search the room. The room is mostly dark and the only light source is a desk lamp. At the desk, he’s slouched unconscious. A pen loosely sits in his one hand that is propped up slightly, hanging awkwardly over his head. The room is freezing.
You rush forward and reach for him, he’s ice cold. Your heart sinks like a stone. And tears of panic have begun to well up. He wouldn’t do this. He couldn’t possibly.
Please Dazai, don’t leave me.
You’re on the verge of tears when you gently place a hand on the lone bandaged wrist lying on the table and find a very steady pulse, but his hands are still bitterly cold. You swallow down the lump in your throat and realize that he’s simply asleep and simply very cold. You attempt to calm yourself. He’s alive. You take a look at his desk and notice the dozens of sheets of paper, each one covered in his messy handwriting. You pick up one that he isn’t lying on and attempt to decipher it. While most words are hard to make out, you pick out a few key words and notice that it has to do with the Port Mafia. You skim through a different page and are surprised to find a Russian name.
Fyodor Dostoevsky.
Sleeping in the cold is bad, it will give you nightmares, you think and walk further into his dorm to the cupboard with extra blankets and supplies that’s standard for every living space. You grab a thick blanket and walk back to him. As quietly as you can, you remove the pencil from his hand and place the blanket over his shoulders.
Suddenly, ice cold fingers shoot forward and curl around your wrist as Dazai’s eyes fly open. The atmosphere shifts immediately. Alarm bells ring in your head. Tension floods the room and blazing foggy eyes land on you. A chill runs down your spine that has nothing to do with the weather. You immediately crouch down to make yourself less threatening as his grip tightens.
“It’s me! It’s me!” you whisper-shouted. The walls are thin in this place and you don’t want to draw attention by shouting but a pained whimper manages to slip out of your mouth. His grip is deadly.
His eyes clear up and he immediately releases your hand. He looks at you sitting on the floor at his side rubbing your wrist with an annoyed expression and then glances at the blanket that had slipped off his shoulders slightly. A look of surprise briefly washes over his face before he reverts back to a seemingly neutral expression.
“What are you doing here?” he asks but lacks the usual tone of mischief that generally accompanies anything he says. As though he’s forgotten to place his invisible mask back onto his face. “Not that I am upset, it is always a pleasure to see you. Although I didn’t expect to find you sneaking around my room.”
His sly expression slowly returns to his face but his eyes still appear to be hazy. Honestly, he looks rather sexy right now especially with his tousled hair.
“I brought food. Also you weren’t at the Agency today,” you say. “And your door was unlocked, I’ll have you know, that’s very dangerous. A killer could easily sneak in here”
You brush off the awkward atmosphere as smoothly as you can because even you are aware that it’s a bit weird to break into his room at 11 ‘o’ clock at night with food.
He shrugs with an amused smile brushing over his features.
You let out an awkward cough before gesturing to all the papers strewn across his desk.
“What is all this? I’ve never seen you do any actual office work before”, you joke.
“Oh this? It’s nothing. Just wondering where my next suicide attempt should be. Lots of research this time, all I need now is a beautiful fair maiden” He throws you a playful glance towards the end. But, the tone of playful bachelor is ruined by the slur of sleep.
Liar
Dazai has always been receptive to emotions and expressions and you are very much an open book to him. He knows fair and well that you think he’s lying but says nothing more on the subject. You are also a book that can take a hint and so you say nothing on the matter. Seeing how tired he is you decide that it’s probably best to leave. He gets little sleep as it is, judging by the dark circles under his eyes.
“You should sleep, I’ll go now but I brought two muffins. Which one do you want? Chocolate or Blue-”, you stop suddenly and look down at the slender fingers latched around your wrist.
“You don’t have to leave,” he says.
Your heart trips over his words and slams against your chest. His words are sweet like honey. Your breath gets caught in your throat as he gently tugs you towards his desk. Messy hair coupled with his intensely dark eyes following you, has you feeling all kinds of things.
What are you saying to me with such an expression
“Come here.”
He moves the papers to the side and gestures for you to sit on it. You hop onto the desk without much issue.
“I’ve missed you this week,” he smiles mischievously.
“Maybe you wouldn’t miss me so much if you actually came to work.”
He chuckles slightly at this and you smile. This position feels weirdly intimate, with him so close sitting on the chair while you’re on the desk. The room is somewhat dark and his face is half discarded in the shadows. But his rich brown eyes are bright in the dark. The atmosphere may almost be mistaken as romantic but you quickly push that thought aside. You clear your throat slightly and look away from him terrified that his eyes will swallow you whole. You reach for the bag of food. “Dazai, do you want Chocolate or-”
The feeling of two cold arms wrapping around your waist cuts you off. Surprised, you glance back at him to find that he’s much closer than before. He rests his head in your lap. He nuzzles your thigh. Your face flushes red.
“Y/N, you are right, I am much too tired ,” he mumbles and almost as an afterthought he adds, “ and cold. Just stay here for a little bit longer.” His head sits heavy and unmoving in your lap, turned to the side, facing away from the light of the desk lamp. His eyelids flutter shut and the blanket seems to fall even further down his shoulders.
“Wake me up in 30 minutes.”
He says nothing else and appears to drift off into a deep sleep. You reach for the blanket as slowly as you can without disturbing him you readjust it to cover him completely with only his head sticking out as he rests peacefully in your lap.
“Okay,” you whisper.
Your hand reaches for his head and ever so softly, it brushes against the tips of his hair. You become more bold, confident that he is sleeping based on his shallow, even breaths. Lightly, you begin to sift through his hair, playing with the strands and caressing his head. You allow the soft strands of his hair to slip through your fingers with each stroke. His hair is smooth to the touch and has a pleasant feel. As you continue gently caressing his head, you look around again at the sheets of paper. Each one is covered in messy handwriting and arrows linking seemingly random bits of information.
You’ve been playing detective with Dazai for a long enough time to know that he’s planning something and suddenly the boy in your arms feels even more precious to you. Because in this moment you understand that a storm is brewing on the horizon and he’s possibly the only one who can smell the scent of rain on the wind. He is carrying a burden alone. He is placing the safety of the Agency above his own and your heart warms towards him.
You look down at the exhausted man.
He was once the Devil’s prodigy but now he is the Agency’s Guardian Angel.
