#parody

Japanese traditional event Setubun was held at Vinyl city.

please try to google “ドリフターズ 雷様” then you’ll know this comics not draw about 節分(Setsubun) and Oni.

Series: Noragami

Pairing: Gen

Genre: Humor, Parody

Rated: k

Words: 773

Summary:  After Father is killed it is decided that, as his next of kin, dealing with all of Fujisaki’s human possession’s is Yato’s problem.

*A/N-  Please someone else tell me you remember Father’s massive pile of banker boxes labeled “Yato” I am going crazy trying to imagine what is inside of them someone please help me.

x x x 

“Hiyori you had better be working in there!” Yato called, starling Hiyori from where she had most definitely not been working. She couldn’t help it, all of Fujisaki’s boxes of keepsakes from Yato were so interesting to go through, not just as a nosy friend who wanted to know all about him, but some of the boxes were so old the edges of the paper crumbled under her fingers they were so old. She fingered through them gently, looking at keepsakes from Yato’s early childhood. 

The Sorcerer was dead at long last. The battle had been intense and long and terrible and honestly Hiyori had been trying not to think about it, but once the Sorcerer was dead and the empty vessel of poor long since departed Fujisaki Kouto had been destroyed, there was left the ironically pedestrian matter of cleaning out his apartment. 

Yato had been elected to do this, as next of kin. Hiyori suspected that all of Heaven were really too chicken to go into the place, fearing some posthumous booby traps, but they had given Yato the next of kin excuse and he’d taken it, still thinking he bore responsibility for all the sins of his father, even the sin of hoarding apparently. 

Well he bore most of the burden, he still made Yukine and Hiyori help.

Not that Hiyori was helping much. She was snooping. 

It’s what he would have wanted, she thought to herself. Not that the final wishes of a psychopathic madman who was intent on genocide should neccesarily be heeded, but she would go ahead and use that as an excuse because she had been planning to do this anyways. 

The newer boxes had merely contained scrapbooks, rather impressive scrapbooks to say the least, but they all only included newspaper clippings of killings she could only assume Yato had committed and several embarrassing photographs of Yato looking the same as he did now. She might have thought to steal some of these pictures except most of them also featured Fujisaki and she wasn’t keen on keeping pictures of him around. She could cut him out maybe. 

Still, she could only be grateful for his obsessive collecting of relics related to his one and only son, even if she was pissed at him for not doing the same for Nora (among other very valid reasons for her to not like the man.) 

Her interest was on the older boxes, though. She’d been hoping for a sketch that father might have done or had commissioned that she could steal and show around to all his friends to embarrass him like an old grandmother. “Oh look at baby Yato and how cute he was with his little button nose couldn’t you just eat him up?” But so far she had found no such sketch. It was mostly journaling done by father with the occasional piece of calligraphy practice that belonged to Yato. 

Very carefully and very quietly Hiyori shifted a few more of the boxes to get into the older ones, knowing that Yato was still in the kitchen cleaning out the food from the refrigerator and Yukine was going through the closet to see if there was anything that might fit him. 

She got what looked to be the next box, then opened it, peering through the door to be sure Yato wasn’t watching, then shrieked in surprise when she caught sight of what was in the box. There were loud crashing sounds from two different places in the apartment and Yato and Yukine came running. 

“What? What is it?”

“Hiyori are you okay?”

“HE KEPT YOUR EARS!!” Hiyori shouted, heart still racing from shock. 

“His what?” Yukine asked, while Yato looked pale. 

“Yourear collection!! Why does he still fucking have it? Why haven’t they decomposed they’ve got to be a thousand years old!” 

“I knew you were snooping in here!” Yato snapped, feigning indignation to cover his upset. He picked up the lid and slammed it down on the box and lifted it away from where Hiyori was still kneeling on the floor. 

“And how did you know about the ears? And how old I am?” 

“UM,” Hiyori started, unsure how she should go about explaining that she saw his past, or his dreams of the past, or whatever that had been. Would he feel violated? Would he be angry? Should she wait and tell him when she hadn’t just screamed about his ear collection to maybe soften the blow?

“Yukine do you wanna look at Fujisaki’s Yato scrapbooks, they’re very morbid,” she said quickly, avoiding the subject entirely. 

“Yes!” Yukine responded. 

“No!” Yato snapped. 

Series: Noragami 

Pairing: Gen

Genre: Humor, Parody

Rated: k

Words: 333

Summary:  Living a long time is hard, and Father can’t keep track of years and calendars and things, it’s easier for him to refer to time periods by the name of the incarnation he was inhabiting, but Yato absolutely hates it.

*An- I will never write a serious father fic. Also I thought it was funnier if father had wildly out of context names for historical japan. Also for the my name is earl reference.

Read on A03.FFN

x x x x x x 

“I haven’t seen anyone dressed like that since I was Richard.” 

Yato scream groaned, trying to veer away from his father, but father reached out without looking and grabbed the back of his kimono, all too familiar with the behaviors of his son. 

“Maybe he was a member of an acting troupe, perhaps they’re doing a period drama.” 

“It hasn’t been long enough since I was Richard for period dramas, has it?” 

“It’s been a while, what, four incarnations?” 

“Four?” Father repeated with disbelief. “The time flies.” 

Yato didn’t participate in the discussion, he was too busy grinding his teeth and considering shirking out of his clothes and making a break for it naked. It’s not like any of these people could see him, but the idea of running into Bishamon while fully nude kept him suffering through this terrible conversation with his family. 

“Now that assassination, the one that was stolen right out from under us, that happened when I was Steven?”

“No,” Hiiro said pointedly, “You were Kyle.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes I’m sure, Father.” 

“And I was Garett when Yato lost his first tooth?”

“Yato doesn’t lose teeth, he’s a god.”

“He doesn’t lose them to regrow adult teeth, I’m talking about the first time he was clocked so hard a tooth fell out.” Hiiro laughed at the memory and Yato growled under his breath. 

“Yeah, I do remember that, he spoke with a lisp for three days before the tooth grew back!” She laughed. “Oh those were good times.” 

“I fucking hate you guys.” 

“Well that’s certainly not something I haven’t heard since my name was Earl.” 

“I am literally BEGGING you to buy a fucking calander oh my GOD!” Yato shouted, so loudly that some people nearby actually caught sight of them and gave him funny looks. “Why are you so weird?!”

“When you’ve lived as long as I have it’s hard to keep track of things,” Father whined, sneaking an amused look at Hiiro when Yato scowled. 

A friend told me about someone who had mistaken Christopher Arclight for Alice from Alice in Wonderland. I don’t know how that could have happened but that incident gave life to a series of doodles.