#peace out

Hey everyone,

My last post on this blog was almost exactly two years ago and I doubt anyone cares much about this message but I thought I would give some final thoughts before bidding this blog adieu. 

I started this blog in 2016 as a way to interact with other people in the OMGCP fandom and talk about a comic that meant a lot to me. In 2016 I was in ninth grade (freshman year of high school) and had extreme difficulty making friends at my new school. I was trying to balance high school, high level dance, and my struggles regarding my sexuality. I saw a lot of myself in Bitty and seeing representation in comics meant the world to me. Since I had no friends and was immersed in the toxic tumblr culture of the time, I thought that creating this blog would be a good idea. 

I joined the OMGCP fandom near its peak. I had actually already started reading the comic in 2015 but I forgot about it pretty quickly, until I rejoined just a month or so before The Kiss™. After that, I fell hard into the community in one of the worst ways possible. I brought my fanatic SuperWhoLock mentality into a small community with all the confidence of a 14 year old girl who thinks that stan culture is healthy. Looking back on this blog I have a lot of regrets, but I was 14 and having this blog actually helped me a lot. I got to share my dumb headcanons and even managed to make friends through it (shout out to the Bittyholtz twitter group chat). I got to talk to like-minded people and have friendly debates with them. In 2017 I got to meet Ngozi at a comic festival. I probably made a fool out of myself, I can’t remember, but I got to meet an artist I admired and now I own an original Kent Parson pin so it can’t have been that bad. 

By 2018 my interest in the fandom had plummeted and I stopped caring about the comic, the fandom, and this blog. This was in part due to the sporadic updates and lack of engaging fan content, but it was primarily due to the growing toxicity of the community and the way the updates felt…weird. All of year 3 was very touch and go for me. I would spend weeks elbow’s deep in the fandom and then a month doing the bare minimum to keep this blog alive. It felt as if the character development of Bitty and Jack up from the first two years had been scrapped, and in its place were caricatures and fluff. The rest of the cast had also lost their personalities. I still posted memes and joking headcanons, but I no longer felt connected with the characters or the story, with the exception of Kent Parson. 

This community has always had an issue with Parse to the extent that people have received death threats for liking him. It was like that in 2016 and it’s like that now. I always liked Parse because he was flawed and relatable in a more realistic way than other characters in the comic. As I previously mentioned I found Bitty deeply relatable in 2016, but that changed when Year 3 came out. Year 1 & 2 Bitty was a flawed character with endearing traits, Year 3 Bitty was a selfish mother hen with an ego. He was no longer relatable, and the rest of the cast seemed to have been shoved to the side to focus more on Jack and Bitty’s relationship. The Tadpoles weren’t given enough attention when I was still reading the comic, with their personalities being dumbed down to “confused” and “stand-offish”. This left Kent Parson as one of the most dynamic characters in the series, despite his little screen time. Kent Parson was relatable too many people, myself included. He was Jacks foil and gave us a glimpse into Jacks life before Samwell and how that haunts him. The treatment of Parse during the LVA @ PVD updates was the tipping point in my abandonment of this blog.

I didn’t read Year 4 until Ngozi posted the final update schedule for Check Please on Instagram and I decided to catch up before reading the finale. I was reminded of why I fell in love with so many of these characters and this fandom. I started getting back into the fandom and re-reading old favourite fanfics. It made me realize that it was always the characters I loved, not the story. Seeing how people fill in plot holes or write redemption arcs for discarded characters is incredible. I especially love seeing peoples responses to the finale of the comic. Personally, I found the ending lacklustre, though I did get a little teary eyed over this comic ending after all my emotional investment in it. A lot of my critiques have already been said in the OMGCP Critical tag so I wont bore you with them.

Despite starting this post by saying I’ll be bidding Check Please “adieu”, I don’t think that’s true. I’ll continue reading fanfic from this fandom and I’ll likely browse some OMGCP tumblr tags on occasion, but it will likely not be reblogged to this account. I’m debating writing a Bittyparse fic that I’ve been thinking of, and if I write it I’ll post it here, but don’t get your hopes up. This fandom is bound to die in a couple years, some tags are already being abandoned and accounts are rebranding themselves away from OMGCP. The peak period of this blog was a time of growth for me and I thank everyone who read my silly headcanons and ridiculous AUs. 

Anyways. Thanks for everything, Check Please fandom.

ttyl, Mel

volos-wish:

I think about this scene a lot…

Hi everyone. I’m able to log on now. Sorry to clog anyone’s dash with a parade of goodbyes. But yes, as my sister explained, I no longer will be posting. My cousin was injured a few months ago fighting in the Israeli Defense Forces, and I’ve since moved near Tel Aviv to help care for her. The internet service is rather unreliable, plus let’s face it - if I post even a little, I’ll get addicted and spend wayyyy too much time on here than I can afford right now. I’ll keep my tumblr posts all up, but I don’t plan to post anything new. Sorry!

But THANK YOU for the many hours and hours of entertainment you gave me during the summer months. I’m SO glad I discovered the glory that is Lost and that is this time-eater of a website. YA’LL ARE AWESOME. If I was Jacob, I would touch you, assign you a number and strand you in my apartment.

Ok. Bye.

Okay so this is mostly for my mutuals and anyone who frequents my blog. Since I finally started going to therapy on a regular basis (once a week!) I want to dedicate the rest of the year working on myself and making things better and making healthier choices for myself, which means I am taking a break from social media.

And by social media I mean Tumblr, because it is literally the only thing even remotely close to social media I am on.

Yeah no Twitter or Insta for me. I’m self destructive but not THATself destructive!

Anyways.

I don’t know if I’ll come back to this blog or not but I hope I do, because in spite of all of the dumb arguments and fights that happen on here, I really love connecting with people who share a mutual love for things I enjoy (or bonding over dunking on things we hate). If I do come back on here it will be with more concrete boundaries set for myself and how I interact with people on here and how I interact with social media in general. I’ll probably be mostly focused on writing and posting my writing if I do come back on here.

I also hope to dedicate more of this blog to just enjoying The Loki Trilogy instead of recycling the same arguments and discourse about the show over and over again. The problems that I have with it have been said over and over again in different ways and honestly if you can’t see what’s wrong with the show by now after all of this then you’re never going to and I am done wasting my energy trying to change the mind of people who refuse to see how toxic the writing is.

So instead I am going to focus my energy towards enjoying the movies Loki is in that actually portray him respectfully (so literally nothing past TDW), and thatpart of the fandom.

But first I need to take a break in order to work on myself. I’ve taken breaks from Tumblr in the past (even ones that have lasted over a year or even two years I think) but I didn’t have a therapist to help me fully internalize changing myself for the better.

This post is way longer than I intended it to be. I literally was just going to post “Taking a break for three months, later!” but…. Idk. I really don’t think anyone cares, but I also feel like if I don’t say what I want to say now it will haunt me and keep making me want to get back on here to post about it. So I have to get everything out now so I don’t worry or think too much about it.

Anyways. So yeah, I’ll be taking a break, fully ghosting, for the next three months, until New Year’s. It seems like a pretty good amount of time to work on myself.

I hope you all a very good spoopy season and holiday season, and for the other members of Loki’s Army who remain here: fuckthe TV show.

December 31st, will I bitch out, or will I finally disappear forever?

*blows off the dust of the year of not using this platform*

wow, so much shit has happened since then BUT if you are still following in hopes that i might post something here, well sorry to pop the bubble, nah (outside of this final post, in which this account will only remain open for the sake of archive)

i just want to say social media is a funny creature, people use it to prop themselves up like a god of some sort of “how good” they are in any way they can and get surprised when shit is thrown at them when people find out youre being a dick. but the people calling out do the same stupid shit. I love an dhate social media and always will, without i wouldnt be able to continue being an artist, having a way to deal with my past breakups, my lack of friends and motivation to get friends, and kinda being able to wear my insecurities on my sleeves. Yeah, i know i havent been the brightest fuckin bulb thats been online in the past decade and probably still wont ‍♂️, but love who you are, dont force yourself onto others like ive known some to do *cough* and just do you and be creative. do new things, try and bring things that hardly get limelight that is positive into the light without propping it up like a fucking tool or shithead (vegans spouting about how great they are, just be like vegan has benefits and problems, but if you want to know more bout both we will tell you. literally can apply to religion, diets, art, music etc) and just give it the loving light it deserves.

im sorry to see all these wonderful bots go away and you shitheads who like to troll cause you think its funny (and i do too hence why i played along in the past and still do!) cause without you guys i wouldnt have been able to have known what a shithole and paradise the internet is and that i wouldnt have been able to make friends (and enemies) without it.

if you havent already, seriously follow me on [twitter] if you want to be updated with my mind vomits and art or follow me on my “non social media” where i only post art when its convient:

[newgrounds]

[pixiv]

love ya guys, and hate ya guys, but hey, thats what fans are:

GARBAGE AND GEMS

so peace out forever from this platform, i wont be on it ever again and will forever be deleted from my bookmarks. its been a wild shitty but fun ride here on dumblr so peace ✌❤and i hope to see you guys on my other accounts

ON HIATUS

Hey everyone! So I’ll be taking my temporary leave from here starting right about now. I gotta get down to brass tacks and take care of some academic chores. I’ll be back around mid-July-ish. Cya!

Peace out, babes ✌️✨

“Peace OUT”

B J

“Peace Out”

B J