#people of color

Merry Christmas, everyone!  I hope and pray that you are all doing well in the midst of these unusual times.  In rare change of pace, this post isn’t so much for the sake of showcasing art as it is to make an announcement.

I’m engaged!

I’m filled to the brim with eagerness for the future to come with my sweet fiancé.  He is the sweetest, kindest, silliest, space-and-video-game-savviest person I’ve ever met, and I look forward to spending the remainder of my life with him.

Fun fact!  Apparently nearly all of our mutual friends and family members were aware that he was going to propose weeks in advance, and I somehow did not notice any of the secrecy.

In case this is the last piece of art I upload this year, I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year.  I pray that 2021 brings blessings and healing.

Little Space Ranger.  Microsoft Paint.

A digital drawing that I started a few weeks ago, but only finished recently!

I’ve been in love with the stars since I was a child, and though I never went on to study them, they still fascinate me.

Rise Above the Clouds.  Krita.

Another sketch in Krita!  Slowly, I’m growing more familiarized with the interface.  Something that might be apparent is that my goal isn’t necessarily a clean, neat product; in addition to the fact that it’s a bit of experimentation, I realize that I kind of like the way traditional linework looks over imprecise digital coloring.

Another fun thing that I’ve realized is that this workflow is faster than my usual MS Paint style, though I will never abandon the latter.

TL;DR:  I’m learning, and this is so much fun!

A Star in a Dark Place.  Krita.

Something very, verydifferent.

For the first time in almost ever, I started with a traditional piece of line art and moved it over to a digital program (in this case, Krita).  

The reason why it took so long took for this first is a tad bit complicated.  On one hand, I just love Microsoft Paint, even if it is not necessarily not the most efficient program to work with, haha!  The other reason is that at some point, the laptop I primarily drew with (and used throughout college) stuttered horribly whenever I opened anything more complicated than MS Paint, so I held it off.  Fortunately, my sweet boyfriend gave me his laptop, and it handles Krita like a dream, so I have no more excuses.

I still have so much to learn, and I will be looking to refine my workflow.  (I haven’t abandoned Microsoft Paint, for anyone wondering! - it just feels good to branch out, especially while I have no classes to occupy my attention.)

Also, if you’ve ever wondered what I listen to while I draw, I really like PogoandWillow, lol.  

Retro-grade.  Microsoft Paint.

I asked my boyfriend to give me ideas for the background and hairstyle for this one.  He is very proud of himself.

I’m alive!  I hope and pray that everyone who sees this is doing well.  My first semester in graduate school has fortunately come to a close, and I’ve been able to enjoy this most recent time with those I love dearly.  It cannot be overstated how grateful I am to be able to be safe and sound (as well as to have those classes finally, finally behind me).

As always, please continue to keep yourselves safe.  Social distancing saves lives.  Wherever you are, please be sure to nurture your mental health and wellbeing, even in the small ways.  Reach out to loved ones if you can.  

Better Together.  Microsoft Paint.

An idea I’ve been wanting to draw out for a little while now.  

In the midst of of pain and injustice, things work altogether better when we work together. <3 

(What would their names be?)

Rose Garden.  Microsoft Paint.

(Those are actually peonies.)

A project that was fun and involved a lot of learning!  There were several different colors across her face, but I realized that simpler shading suited the face best.

Hope you all are doing well!

Brown Beauty.  Microsoft Paint.

Not one of my favorites!  As you can tell, I could not decide what direction I wanted to go in.  Nevertheless, this was great fun to draw, and good practice.

Praying that you all are staying safe in the midst of these stressful times.  Please stay healthy and mindful of the well-being of others.

Please let me know if you have a favorite out of the three!  

Daytime Moon.  Microsoft Paint.

A drawing that I wrestled with on account of some conflicting color schemes.  It was a fun way to cool down from the mild confusion of online classes.  I seem to be preferring blues as of late. 

Your Anxiety is Lying to You.  Microsoft Paint  

Something quick made in the span of a handful of hours.

On the heels of my freshman year in college, a relative took me to see a physician to give name to the symptoms I experienced.  Apathy towards the things I was once passionate about; slipping grades that alarmed a few teachers enough to speak with me privately; a perpetual feeling of sadness and anxiety, and a constant need to cry without any relief.  Grief, and the feeling that life had already ended.  That kind physician diagnosed me with depression and gave me a prescription.  This would mark the start of a long journey of stabilizing my mental health - one that I’m still trekking.

Over time, I’m coming to realize that the harsh internal voices and worries that bother me are not consistent with reality.  In fact, I’m discovering an awesome superpower - the ability to take those thoughts captive and counter them with truth.  It’s easier said than done: training the mind to do something it is unaccustomed to is quite the feat.   But I thank God for how far along He’s carried me on this journey, and I am grateful for slew of supportive friends and loved ones I have on my side.

More often than not, your anxiety is lying to you.  Its voice is loud and overwhelming, but I promise you, your voice has so much more power.    

Recovering Dreams.  Microsoft Paint.

A drawing that didn’t quite go in the direction I anticipated, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

Still Dreaming.  Microsoft Paint

A semi-quick drawing to get into the swing of things.  It’s an homage to this ancient drawing.

Like many others, I have been meditating on recent events, and I have been thinking about what it means to be black in America.  As a black American, my heart aches to see the emergence of the justice that my ancestors, brothers, and sisters have been so direly deprived of.  As a Christian, I also want to understand what Christ-like forgiveness and love looks like without being flippant, passive, nor quick to disregard evil.  It is so easy to succumb to feeling like one is doing too little, or to be fueled by (warranted) rage and sadness.  I currently lack the words to communicate these thoughts clearly, but I hope that you consider helping in the cause:  blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/.

God bless.  Our lives - black lives - matter.

Pink Lemonade.  Microsoft Paint.

Wanted to go a different route with colors and experiment a bit!  Although I never personally wear pink, it is (obviously) one of my favorite colors to make art with.  Her hair was initially something more natural looking (with a purple undertone), but I couldn’t resist.

Hope you are all safe and happy!

To The Moon and Back!  Microsoft Paint.

Something drawn for my sweet boyfriend!   I opted for a more paper-cutout-esque style as I wanted something quick and cute. I ripped the planets from an older drawing of mine, and for a particular reason; two years ago, I joked that the way to my heart was through a conversation about the gas giants.  It just so happens that my significant other studies them, and has even worked with NASA.  God has a sense of humor!  I’m learning that I know much less about space than I thought, lol.  

He’s a sweetheart, and I love him to bits.  I hope this drawing alone meets everyone’s quota for sappiness.

_{The original file name was “PDA”.}

Loved. Microsoft Paint.

A personal drawing between tasks.  Life has been turned absolutely upside down - classes online, restaurants closing, empty shelves where toilet paper once sat.  This is one of those moments where I am confronted by the fact that I am extraordinarily blessed, and that there are many things I ought not to take for granted.

It’s also been a forced sabbatical of sorts - a realignment of priorities.  And a time of unexpected joys and blessings.

I drew this because I was feeling overwhelmed by the friendship I’ve been shown by housemates and friends over the last few weeks.  I also drew this because - well, I’m a little lovesick.  I’ve recently started a relationship with someone absolutely lovely, and the whole ordeal has been filled with a ton of new feelings and questions - a trust exercise with God.  I’m still learning how to feel comfortable with feeling so happy.  

But that’s enough chatter!  Stay safe, regularly wash your hands for 20 or more seconds, and God bless!

It Gets Better, Microsoft Paint.

A drawing that I’m not particularly fond of, but wanted to finally finish after having it sit on my laptop for an eternity and a half.  I could write a lengthy post about the things that have transpired over the last few weeks - let’s not mention oronacay irusvay - but I’ve opted to keep this brief.  

Stay well, stay safe, please wash your hands regularly and cover your mouths when you cough, and God bless!

Big, Beautiful Brain.  Microsoft Paint.

Not the cleanest nor neatest comic, but it was fun to work on!  

One thing that I have been learning (over time, with the help of many patient friends) is that it is possible to reframe nasty thoughts I hold about myself (or have even been told).  

For a simple example: My forehead.  Objectively, it ispretty darn big - it offered ample real estate for pimples when puberty hit.  It’s so big that when I was about 12, a (rather mean) salonist asked if I wanted bangs.  When I said no, she nodded her head, pulled down a length of my hair, and cut a set of bangs anyway; she flatly told me that I needed them.  The aunt who was with me eagerly agreed.  In retrospect, that’s kind of hilarious, but it’s a little traumatic to a middle-school-aged kid with an awful self esteem.  As silly as it seems, it’s something about myself that still bugs me from time to time.

There are a lot of deeper, more serious things that I am beginning to unlearn - that I am not weak, that I am not stupid, that I am not talentless.  Slowly, but surely, I am realizing that God made me intentionally as I am, and He is still helping me grow, and that’s fine - big, beautiful brain, and all.

Gaze.  Microsoft Paint.

A doodle with a lot of trial and error.  It was a ton of fun to work on, though!

What’s she listening to?  If I had to guess, it would probably be thisorthis.  (I really, really like this musician - quite literally 99.458% of my time spent drawing was spent listening to his stuff.)