chrollo : - regrets tattooing the cross on his forehead - takes nobunagas perfume / deodorant without his consent - he never told anyone how his earrings are even on his ears (is it nen? magic? who knows,,,)
feitan : - the only thing he has ever bought were his bandanas - he once got a sunburn, but because of his hair being on his forehead, it looked like a pigmentation problem - he likes art a lot and stole his favourite artwork from a gallery
machi : - her favourite band is red hot chilli peppers - she refuses to patch other members clothes with her nen ability - she cuts her own hair and styles it to her liking whenever she is bored
nobunaga : - always steals enough deodorant / perfume because it always seems to go empty right after he stole it - he has a very thought through hair care routine and secretly envys illumi for his healthy hair - he likes holidays ( christmas, halloween, etc.) and always would like to celebrate them
phinks : - he once taped fake eyebrows on his face for a disguise in a mission - he knows how to cook ( and he does it really good ) - proudly wears his gucci clothes he stole years ago
franklin : - likes reading a lot and is a very relaxed person for a phantom troupe member - because of his size, he often broke things while holding them or accidentally sitting down on something - has used 3 bottles of deodorant in his whole life (stinky,,,)
illumi : - he likes wearing high ponytails, but theres alwayssome here falling out of the sides - knows how to play 4 instruments and knows the waltz - he has laughed genuinley only twice in his life
uvogin : - is a super passionate friend and thinks of the spider as family and friends - he loves hugging people, but whenver he tried to hug feitan it ended up with an argument… - started off with a very bad alcohol tolerance, but grew into alcohol consumption
hisoka : - he always gets sad and slouches, when his card tower falls before it was intended to fall - listens to early 2000´s songs in his free time - his favourite card is the 8 of diamonds, not the joker
shizuku : - had read dozens of mangas, but re-read them often because of her memory - she seems cold on the outside but is a very clumsy and bubbly girl on the inside - she has a kinlist saved on her phone
pakunoda : - cries while watching movies (such as titanic, harry potter, etc.) - loves fashion and always comes back with nice, stolen clothes she saw - had a cat called “snow“ once, even though the cat was grey
bonolenov : - got called “ballerina” at some point by phinks - goes on rants about how proud he is to be part of his clan at random times - he doesnt actually like boxing
kalluto : - is used to getting misgendered, but still hates it - he wishes that his brothers would care as much about him as they would with killua - kins nagisa from assaination classroom
kortopi : - never told anyone his age - has tried multiple times to eat or drinks with his nen ability ( it didnt work ) - he has tried to wear his hair differently, but felt too insecure to actually wear them
shalnark : - has had multiple conversations about dragonball with shizuku - only plays ego shooter games - a lot of women have asked for his number on the street, but he never gave them his number ( he isnt interested , duh )
hope you liked those headcanons, if you want any other character headcanons, request them please!!
Working on this was a mixture of weird enjoyment and extreme pain, which is honestly pretty appropriate for anything involving Hisoka ⭐️ —_— Print available in the shop.
i think it was real sexy of togashi to make chrollo the head of twelve apostles leader of thieves who meet in an abandoned church and have judas hisoka turn against them because he wants to be like satan and challenge god to fight chrollo who uses the bible a book to harness his power
also fun fact: the cross on chrollo’s jacket is the st. peter’s cross. st. peter believed he was unworthy of dying the same way as jesus, so he asked to be crucified upside down.
I’m not sure what the blood symbolizes (*starts wracking my catholic-school-educated brain*) but i have a feeling it’s connected to the two “keys of heaven” associated with st. peter (who FYI founded the catholic church after jesus’ death and was the first pope) & the “blood of christ” (the ceremonial wine taken during catholic masses)
perhaps… chrollo’s two “keys to heaven” are bloodshed, hence the requiem he holds for uvogin after his death (and the impending massacre in the manga, in response to shalnark’s and kortopi’s death)
i think it was real sexy of togashi to make chrollo the head of twelve apostles leader of thieves who meet in an abandoned church and have judas hisoka turn against them because he wants to be like satan and challenge god to fight chrollo who uses the bible a book to harness his power
an analysis of chrollo in the aftermath of his battle with hisoka
⚠️ this post contains major manga spoilers! ⚠️
it’s really interesting how chrollo truly didn’t give a fuck about dying when kurapika captured him (his confidence was also boosted by the fortune)
yet he refused to fight hisoka until he was 100% certain he’d win
he clearly enjoys the game of fighting, and even took risks to try to steal zeno’s nen during their battle:
but he reminds me of illumi in how he closely calculates the odds — illumi doesn’t fight, he assassinates.
I wonder if chrollo already suspected hisoka would be fatal trouble to the troupe if he died — that’s why he kept hisoka on a string for so long until he KNEW he’d kill him
so the murderous rage he feels now must not only be from the pain of losing two more of his beloved spiders, but from the guilt that it happened because he failed to protect them
and adding insult to injury, hisoka had said this before their battle:
let’s also take a moment to remember his motivations. from the beginning, the only thing that has truly mattered to chrollo — even more than treasure, winning, or his own life — is the legacy of his spider:
so in the end, did chrollo really win the match? yes, he killed hisoka, but hisoka 1) came back to life, 2) snapped off two legs of the spider (basically chrollo’s family), and 3) halted all troupe activities — including stealing! —
— until they tracked hisoka down and killed him once and for all.
now, both the troupe and illumi are wrapped up in hisoka’s game of catch — and with hisoka overturning his victory by resurrection, killing off two of his troupe members, and vowing to destroy the spider, it’s no wonder chrollo’s out for another requiem.
“Everything. We’re taking everything that’s up for auction.”
“Are you scared, Uvogin?”
“Kill them. Kill every person who interferes.”
from the color palette & ost (esp when the music stops) to the script and uvogin’s voice literally trembling from excitement, just everything about this scene is so badass and so well done
why tf the genei ryodan walking to york new thru a fucking desert. hisoka rents a private plane. they’ve stolen millions of jenny. get a fuckignn train ticket
summary: over the years it’s become easier to keep your feelings for your boss quiet but when he asked you to pose as his date during a mission your facade becomes much less convincing.
w/c: 7569
tags: mutual pining, exhibitionism, closet sex, excessive use of pet names
notes: jesus chriiiisst this took a million years. totally worth it tho. this was a request from @ddarker-dreams so thanks for the idea u jerk ily.
The Yul National Treasury was one of the most renowned institutions the world had ever seen, reopening as the new pride and joy of the nation of Yul. It was a small province that had just come into some serious money after its two neighboring countries had gone to war, profiting from both sides.
Its ruler, Markus Ano, was drunk on the power that had evaded him all his life, wasting away royalties on lavish parties to flaunt the wealth he’d accumulated. Tonight would be the biggest one yet, as the country’s fearless leader had just signed a contract meant to expand Yul’s borders and planned to celebrate accordingly. But, unlike his other galas, it wasn’t being held at his mansion. It was being held at the treasury.
You almost hadn’t believed Chrollo when he told you. Why would the supreme leader host a party there, where priceless artifacts and deeds of cash flow would be so ripe for the taking?
“It’s a brazen act of confidence,” Your boss had explained, “a flimsy attempt to make himself seem credible to the other world’s leaders. He’s daring any mercenary groups to crash the party.”
Shalnark’s eyebrows furrowed, his expression clear from the glow on his phone screen in the decrepit building, “Why would Ano want that?”
“To be taken seriously. If his military can fend off any attackers he believes it will increase his social standing with the other government officials.”
That made you confused. Chrollo had specifically called the Troupe’s recon members to Yul but from what your boss said it sounded like they were expecting a fight. Looking across the dimly lit building you saw the silhouettes of Machi, Paku, and Shalnark all wondering the same thing.
Your boss, insightful as ever, answered that unasked question, “We won’t be getting in there by force. If we try to barge our way in they’ll relocate the goods far before we find them. Our only option is to infiltrate the gala,” Chrollo held up four envelopes to the moonlight, each sealed in a garish purple wax, “Shalnark will provide support from here and the rest of us will pose as guests,”
His gaze focused on the blonde manipulator, “Can you access the hunter website to find out who the captains of the security team are?”
“Consider it done.”
“Excellent. Pakunoda will track down the captain and learn where they’re keeping our target. It’s either stored in one of the safes below the ballroom or somewhere else in the building.”
He called back the attention of the two women in the back of the room, “Machi, Paku, you will both arrive together. I assume your nen will be enough to restrain the guard silently?” He asked, gesturing towards Machi specifically. She didn’t say anything, just gave him a curt nod.
You willed your voice not to break as you spoke, “Um.. boss?” Keeping a level gaze with Chrollo when his wide, dark eyes flickered over to yours was more than a challenge, “what are we stealing?”
He smiled, and your treacherous heart skipped a scattered beat.
Warnings: Hospitals, Angst, Very Sad themes in this chapter, unhealthy relationships things, fightings, violence, abuse.
Author Note: While I’m still not back and ready to continue any of my series on here, I did have this ready and had enough time to edit it today. While Helping Hand has been long overdue for an update, I still felt the need to enjoy. Please enjoy.
Also, I don’t support relationship violence or the glamorization of relationship violence, I personally felt the need to include it for his character as I feel the need for other characters. It felt too strange for me for Shalnark to be the perfect lover; especially with the environment he grew up in, I felt as though he needed to have layers and I needed to show how love isn’t ideal and that it has ups and downs.
“Wait, you actually brought him along with you?” Lara says in disbelief, nearly knocking her drink off the table with her hand if it weren’t for Clara, “I thought you were just joking.”
“Well,…” You anxiously look around at the café around you. Stirring the teabag in your cup of tea as you did so, “I wasn’t serious about it either when I mentioned it to the two of you. It just sort of… happened?”
Lara whistles out as she falls back into the cushion of the booth. “Oh man… aren’t you smitten?”
“Am not!” You instantly retort back.
“I’ll have to agree with Lara on this one,” You send a glare Clara’s way at her comment but she ignores you. Instead, stirring in some brown sugar into her cup of coffee and look out the window at the rain.
Huffing, you go to defend yourself, “Shalnark and I aren’t like that.”
“Oh really?” Lara deadpans, looking entirely unconvinced. You roll your eyes at the two; they are starting to get on your nerves. When you invited them on your day off to grab a drink with you at your local café, this isn’t what you meant. You much wished you had decided to stay home with Chloe instead now. “(Y/n), I’m serious. Look at your Home Screen for crying out loud.”
Your eyes flickered to your phone. A picture of you, Chloe and Shalnark stood as the wallpaper behind your apps. It was just after you returned from your trip to York New. Shalnark had ordered some Chinese food and you two were binge watching all the Karate Boy movies. However, Chloe had other plans as—as seen in the photo—she snuck up and took a huge chomp out of Shalnark’s noodles while he was posing for the selfie with you.
“…It’s just a photo.” Lara throws her head back in response, letting out a loud groan in frustration. In the process gaining the attention of customers nearby, “Hey! You’re grabbing too much attention.”
“Good, maybe it will help you get through your thick skull how much in love you are with Shalnark.”
You shake your head, “It’s not that I don’t like Shalnark, and that he doesn’t like me. We just aren’t… dating.”
“Why not?” Clara budges in, calmly cutting Lara off, “It’s not like it’s against the rules. Plus he’s likely to get discharged in a month anyway.”
Unintentionally, you flinch at Clara’s words. Discharged. What would Shalnark do after that happened, you pondered. Would he go back to Meteor city? It was the safest and most reliable place to go after all. But, after spending hundreds of hours on end with the man, you knew he often never chose the safest path.
Would Shalnark go after him? The ex-troupe member he mentioned tried to kill him and was currently after the other members in order to fight the leader. The one the troupe was hoping to get revenge on. But how would he catch a ride to the dark continent?
Though, anything was possible when Shalnark put his mind to it. Especially in the realm of Nen.
“(Y/n).”
You snap out of your daze. Shit you didn’t mean to get lost in your thoughts. Hesitantly you meet Lara and Clara’s concerned gazes.
“Is everything alright?”
“Yeah…,” You pause as you naw on your bottom lip nervously, “…just lost in thought is all.”
Clara and Lara share a glance. Seeming to share some sort of consensus about you before looking back at you. Clara started first, “You know… you can tell us anything (y/n).”
“Of course I know,” You let out an awkward laugh as you put your cup of tea down on the table, “You guys have always been there for me.”
“Yes and we will have your back to the very end, but we just feel…” Lara pauses, seeming to think over her next words carefully, “…that’s something’s wrong.”
“…What do you mean?”
“I’m not saying it’s him but,” You watch as Clara gives Lara a heavy look. Warning her to be careful on how she steps with her words. Nervously you gulp, your throat suddenly feeling dry, “Ever since Shalnark has been emitted, you’ve been acting strange. As if you’ve been walking on glass around everyone.”
“We understand that yours and Shalnark’s situation is unique. A friendship or relationship created from a special situation.” Clara quickly intervenes. Likely sensing how nervous and closed off you had become. “But, we are just… worried. You usually tell us everything and we aren’t used to you keeping a secret from us.”
“It’s not really a secret per se,” You quickly respond, taking your eyes away from the two to other areas in the café. The espresso machines, other customers, a dog by its owner; anything really except Lara and Clara. “It’s just private patient information about Shalnark. I’ve been sworn to secrecy you know?”
“True but you’ve never acted this way about another—“ Lara instantly shuts up at the look Clara gives her. Sighing she reclines back in her seat, seeming unhappy that she didn’t get her way.
“Just,” You turned your attention back to Clara. The short usually icy woman giving you a concern look, “Just don’t torture yourself over it okay?”
You flash her a confused look, “I’m not.”
While she doesn’t respond any further, you can tell she looked unconvinced.
—.—.❤️.—.——.—.❤️.—.—
‘Hey. Don’t worry about what happened at lunch, we are just concerned that’s all. Love ya’, You let out a deep sigh as you finish reading Lara’s text. You knew that they didn’t mean to corner you like that—honestly perhaps you deserved it with how you have been acting in the end—it’s just that you couldn’t tell them.
Telling them your fears and concerns led to telling them Shalnark’s secrets, and you never could reveal that. Never.
Perhaps that’s why you and Shalnark haven’t pushed forward in your relationship. That deep fear etched into you. The uncertainty of his job and lifestyle. Of his past, that while he tells you some, he skims over the other parts.
The fear that he would leave you in the end.
At the thought, you find yourself stilling in your steps. Thankfully no one was behind you on the sidewalk; the area you were in was generally empty.
Never seeing Shalnark again. Why did such a simple thought scare you so much? Not even other things like losing your job and being thrown out of your house came close in comparison to the bubbling pit of fear that was forming in your throat.
Perhaps, Lara was right… you were truly smitten over Shalnark.
“I love you (y/n). Like I’ve never loved before.”
Unconsciously your fingers ghosted over your lips. The memories and Shalnark’s voice replaying in your mind. The feeling was mutual. You have never loved someone as much as you loved Shalnark.
You almost felt like Romeo and Juliet. Star Crossed lovers destined to be torn apart. Yeah, that’s what you and Shalnark were. You were destined to be torn apart. If not today then tomorrow or perhaps the day after that.
“Hey Lady.” You jolt at the sudden voice that came from behind you. Turning around, you are surprised to see a young boy and even younger girl next to him. Wait a minute, they were at the coffee shop you were just at, right?
“Is something wrong?” You carefully ask, a little confused on why they would come up to you. You weren’t stupid. You could sense that the boy was a nen user and the girl… she wasn’t but she wasn’t exactly normal either.
The boy looks around quickly, “Do you have a private place we can go?”
“How come?”
“I need to have a talk with you,” The young boy stated, fidgeting with his sister’s grasp on his hand, “And this isn’t the place for that.”
It’s silent as you think for a moment. What did this boy want to possibly talk about? You wondered if it was something important; likely to do with you but there were still so many possibilities, “Sure, I know a place.”
“Good. I’ll let you lead the way.”
Just as you go to turn to lead the way a thought suddenly comes to mind, “First before we go, what’s your name, kid?”
“Killua,” The boy answers nonchalant as if it didn’t matter, “What’s yours.”
“(Y/n).” And with that you lead the way.
—.—.❤️.—.——.—.❤️.—.—
You were at first thankful you chose a quiet area in a semi-populated area—mostly due to the fact you could have your conversation in peace but not be too alone where you could be caught in an altercation—But now, you were regretting it.
“This Uvogin…” You hesitantly say, choosing your next words carefully as you think about what the boy has told you, “…his death is what started everything that happened from York New up until now?”
“In a way but not exactly.” Killua answers, sparing a glance at his sister that was playing in the center fountain nearby, “He wasn’t what caused Hisoka’s obsession with the leader or the death of the others. But…”
“…his death definitely caused everything to boil over.”
Sighing you pinch the skin between your brows, your brain hurting from the overwhelming amount of information this 12 year old boy was telling you. You honestly wouldn’t have believed him if you didn’t remember the passing comment Shalnark made one time about these two boys a member named ‘Nobunaga’ was obsessed with recruiting.
“I…” You let out a deep sigh, “I don’t understand why all of this is important.”
While all of this information was helpful, you didn’t understand why the boy wanted to tell you this sort of thing. He had no reason to.
“Well, you’re dating that blonde one right?” Killua states casually as if he wasn’t stepping into dangerous territory.
“I’m not dating Shalnark.” You correct the boy sternly, “He’s my patient and I’m his doctor.”
“Your friends don’t seem to think so, doc.” Killua bites back just as sternly, “and you aren’t fooling me so easily. You might not be dating but I can sense from your conversation and demeanor afterwards that it isn’t strictly platonic.”
The young boy’s words shut you up quickly but that doesn’t stop you from giving him a glare. After a couple minutes of tense silence, the boy sighs. While not exactly relaxing, he seemed to calm down slightly.
“Look, I don’t care if you date the guy. Your choice honestly. I mean who am I to judge, I was an assassin before I became a hunter.” Killua speaks up, his eyes once again trained on his sister but this time he almost had a far off look in his eyes, “But, out of respect of a friend I have, I feel the need to warn you of what you are getting yourself into.”
“I’m a hunter as well. I know how dangerous the troupe is.” You say as the boy crushes the wrapper of his chocolate bar in his hand and stands up from his seat.
“Whatever.” Killua simply replies, beginning to walk away before suddenly stopping, “Do me a favor though. Ask your ‘boyfriend’ about the Kurta Clan. See how he reacts then.”
Just as you go to retort back to Killua, he is already gone. As if he and his sister were never there in the first place. Who were they? While he said he was an assassin, you’ve never met someone like him before.
He must be someone in the same league as the troupe in order to talk about them so casually, you think as you grit your teeth. However that wasn’t the thing that was pissing you off the most.
The Kurta Clan.
What was that?
…And what did it mean to Shalnark?
—.—.❤️.—.——.—.❤️.—.—
“Doctor (l/n). Room 321 and 211 are ready for their weekly check up.”
“Okay. I’ll be there in one moment.” You respond back to the nurse that walked into the office, going back to searching through the patient files in the file cabinets. Grabbing the patients you were in charge of visiting today. As you get to Shalnark’s file you find yourself suddenly pausing, Killua’s words unconsciously resounding throughout your head.
You thought about searching up the Kurta Clan when you got home the other day but for some reason you found yourself unable to. An uneasy sickly feeling settling in your stomach every time you entered even the first word into your search bar. Perhaps it was fear of the unknown; fear of what you would find at the other side of that search bar, something you never could have predicted.
Or perhaps the fear of something you knew long ago. Perhaps you still wanted to live in your rose colored glasses world with Shalnark. Avoiding the bloody details of his past that he still keeps hidden from you.
“(Y/n).” You are startled at the sound of your name. You have been getting more easy to start lately, lost in thought more often now. “Everything alright Lass?”
You give Clara a reassuring smile, though the worried look on her face doesn’t go away. Even as you exit the room to take care of your patients.
Just,… what is wrong with you?
This can’t be normal.
Like how you feel internally, your day goes by in a whirlwind—you were there through all of it, but you felt like you were on autopilot. As if you were watching your day through a screen—And the next thing you knew, you were standing outside of hisroom.
Just as you go to knock, he flings open the door. As if he knew you were out there. As you too stare at each other, you take him in. You take in his aquamarine eyes, the ones you often find yourself falling in as you look at him. You take in his straw like blonde hair, an odd haircut that seemed to fit him so well. However, as you go to take in his smile, the one you adore so much, you notice it wasn’t on his face.
“(Y/n)…” He starts off, “…What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” You breathed out, not tearing your gaze away from him. You wondered if this was the last time you would see him this way. Pure. Unchanged.
The young male rolls his eyes and scoffs, grabbing your hand and pulling you into the room. As he shuts the door behind him, he turns back to you, “Don’t lie to me. Something’s up.”
“Nothings wron—”
“That’s not what Clara told me.” He instantly retorts back. His jaw clenching in frustration as he stares down at you. “You don’t… look okay.”
“Shalnark.” As you say his name, a shiver trails up your spine, “I’m fine.”
“You’renot.” Shalnark says, finally tearing his gaze away from you as he pushes a hand through his hair. He wouldn’t accept it. Not when you look at him like that. With that… lost and hopeless look in your eyes. “What happened? I know you. Something happened.”
“Nothin—“ “Don’t give me that excuse!!” Shalnark shouts, finally snapping as he grabs your shoulders. His temper getting the best of him. An eerie similarity to how he was in the first couple of weeks you knew him. Violent, silent, calculating, deadly.
“Just…” Shalnark grits out, almost as if he was being choked as he stared down at you, “Just tell me. I don’t care what it is or what you did.”
“It’s—“
“Is it me?” You freeze at Shalnark’s words, “Did I do something wrong? Did I say something? Do you…
…Do you believe it was all a mistake?”
“Of course not!” You instantly shout back, your expression frantic, “I would never regret what has happened between us—“
“Then what is it!?” Shalnark shouts back, shaking you as he speaks, “Did someone do something to you?! Did someone hurt in any way!?”
“No, they didn’t!” You shout out, your comatose like state leaving you as you grab Shalnark’s hand. Trying to peel his grip off of you.
“Then tell me!”
“I don’t want to!” Finally you get Shalnark’s grip off of you and back away from the male. Your face contorted into anger as you threw your hands in the air.
“Why not?” Shalnark asks angrily following after you.
“Because I— I just don’t!” You say, avoiding him as he tries to grab your wrist.
“You’ve never hidden anything from me before.”
“Because I just—“ You struggle to come up with a reason, “I just didn’t have to.”
“Then why do you have to hide it from me now?!”
“Because I don’t have to tell you everything. Don’t— touch me!” You shout back, snapping your wrist out of Shalnark’s hand. Though the male quickly grabs onto your shoulder instead and corners you against the wall. “Why can’t you just trust me?”
“I do! I’m just concern—“
You instantly cut him off, “No, you’re just being a controlling dipshit like you always are!”
“Well, you knew that when you got involved with me, doc.” Shalnark snaps back at you, his pet name for you dripping with venom as he spits it from his mouth. “I’m not exactly a nice guy.”
“Yeah, no figure.”
It’s silent after you finish. And just as you think it’s the end of the conversation and Shalnark will let you go, you quickly find out you are wrong.
“(Y/n), tell me.”
“No. For the final—“
“Tell me!” He says shouting, veins and muscles flexing in anger as he gets really close to your face. Your noses practically touching.
“No!” You shout back with just as much vigor.
“Just tell me already!!” “I won’t!” “It’s none of your business!!” “Doesn’t mean I shouldn’t know!” “Tell me!” “No!!” “Just fucking tell me already!” It’s none of your fucking business!!“ “Don’t snap at me—!!” “As if you aren’t doing it to me!”
Like the stick that broke the camel’s back, as Shalnark punches the wall next to you guys, you finally shout out, “Maybe I wouldn’t have to hide things from you, if you didn’t hide things from me!”
“What the fuck are you talking about—?”
“The Kurta Clan! Why is it that—“ You freeze your rant as you see Shalnark stiffen. Shit, you didn’t mean to—
“Who told you?” Shalnark asks, eerily calm now, “How the fuck did you find out?”
“A boy at the—“ You flinch as Shalnark’s grip on your arms tighten.
“What boy?” He shouts at you, back to his original anger. However he was much more frantic now. “What did the boy look like? Did he have chains? Tell me (y/n)!”
“It was just a kid!” You shout back, finally shoving Shalnark off of you. Causing the male to lose his balance and come crashing to the ground.
“It was just a kid.” You repeat, calmer now as you try to catch you back, “One of the kids you said your troupe member tried recruiting. He was trying to warn me in some way about you. He didn’t tell me. I don’t know anything.”
“(Y/n)—“ Shalnark starts off, however you quickly cut him off.
“Don’t.” You firmly state, shaking your head. Quickly and frantically you run out of the room. Leaving the piles of scattered patient papers on the floor as Shalnark continues to call out your name.
You can hear him go to get up but he quickly crashes back down to the ground. His knee on his right leg still not fully healed, and the fall didn’t help either.
“(Y/n)!” You hear him shout out one last time as you round the corner to the stairs.
—.—.❤️.—.——.—.❤️.—.—
You avoid Shalnark for the next couple of weeks. Thankfully you were able to write off the incident to HQ as a behavioral change caused by a bad reaction to a new medication. However it wasn’t so easy to convince your friends and colleagues. Clara, Lara and Mal especially.
Those three tried everything. Bribing, talking, shouting, comfort. But nothing. Not a single peep came out of you about what happened between you and Shalnark.
Honestly, you thought you could keep on avoiding Shalnark forever. At least you hoped so.
However, he was goddamn persistent. After the second week, he had successfully completed all of his PT. While he still had a small limp in his right leg, which the other doctor informed you would be permanent for the rest of his life, it gave him a new found freedom to move about the hospital with ease now. With this freedom, instead of engaging with other patients or snooping around the staff rooms, he chose to try to track you down. Anywhere you went, you could find him peeking around hallways, trying to find where you were. You could practically see his eyes light up whenever someone was shouting or calling your name. His head instantly snapped to that person, hoping you would be close by.
It was only a matter of time before he found you. Cornered you and force you to break your silence.
And sadly tonight was the time.
You were cornered in an empty patient room. A room you had gone into to grab papers you had forgotten; The room was clean and neat as it was no longer in use as the patient had been discharged hours ago.
You didn’t even bother to turn on the light as you entered the room. Using the light of the full moon to see as you expected a quick in and out.
However, as you heard the lock of the door as you grabbed the clipboard you knew it would no longer be quick.
“(Y/n).” He murmurs out, breaking the silence between you two. When you don’t bother to look at him, he approaches. The sound of his footsteps soft, almost unheard, as he makes his way to you. It wasn’t that he was being careful, no. It was from the years of experience he had gained while being in the troupe.
You expected him to reach out, to touch you as he always does. But he does none of those things. Instead just standing there behind you. It was odd, strange. He was a very contact type person, never seeming to go moments without making any sort of physical contact with you. What’s with the change?
That was a stupid question. If you could laugh you could. You knew why he didn’t want to touch you.
That last time he touched you, it didn’t exactly go well.
“(Y/n)…” He murmurs out once more, “…please…”
He pauses for a moment as if thinking what he should be begging for. You wondered if he was possibly choosing what to say in the first place.
“Please… say something. Anything.” He begs, his voice whispers as if he was resounding a prayer. Scared if he said the wrong thing, he would set off your wrath.
However, you don’t answer his plees. Not moving an inch as you just stare off at the wall in front of you. It feels like forever before he speaks again,
“(Y/n).” He plees, this time finally, yet extremely hesitantly, reaching out to touch you. His hands touching your shoulders in the same place as he had the last time. Although, compared to last time, he touched you so gently. So softly. As if he was worried you would break if he put the slightest bit of pressure. “Please…”
Your breath hitches, though not from his plees. His fingers in feather light touch cascade down your arms…, pass your elbows…, up your wrist…
You can’t—
Suddenly you begin to shake, tears filling your eyes causing your world to blur, and you drop the clipboard from your hand. Quickly as you go weak in the knees, Shalnark interlocks his fingers with yours and brings both of your interlocked hands to your chest. Bring you into his embrace as you slowly begin to break, your back securely pressed against his chest.
“(Y/n)… please…” He plees once more, his voice a mere whisper into your shoulder but to you it thunders in your head.
And like that you snap.
“Why— why don’t you tell me things you idiot?” You choke out, “Just when I think I find out something about you, you have something else hidden away. Why won’t you just tell me?!”
Shalnark stays silent, just holding you up as you continue to yell at him.
“Why did I have to learn from a goddamn kid about what happened in York New? Why didn’t you tell me everything when we were there?” You begin to struggle in Shalnark’s grasp, growing agitated the more you talk, “Why didn’t you tell me about Hisoka? About Uvogin? About the betrayal and death. Why tell me Pakunoda’s in the first place if you weren’t going to tell me the rest?”
Finally you escape from Shalnark’s grasp and turn to face him but you underestimate how emotional you were in that moment, and you collapse to the floor. Your legs give out instantly the moment his support is gone. Quickly Shalnark follows after you, grabbing onto your waist to stop your knees from harshly hitting the tiles. As he gently allows you two to fall to the ground, you continue to yell at him.
“It’s unfair. So unfair!“ You shout out, hitting his chest. “Why do you get to know everything about me but don’t tell me things? Why do I have to be left in the dark? And why do you get angry at me when I finally leave you in the dark?”
As you continue to hit at his chest, Shalnark doesn’t flinch. Instead bringing you further into him so you are tightly kept to his chest, his arms fully wrapped around you.
“I’m sorry,” He finally says, breaking his silence, “…I’m sorry for everything.”
Tears well up in your eyes and cascade down your cheeks, “You’re so mean and controlling sometimes!”
“I know.”
“You’re such a brute as well! Putting your hands on me as if I’m nothing! I’m not used to that, you know? I didn’t grow up in Meteor city like you. I’m not used to being handled in such a way!”
“I know.” Shalnark says, his answer coming out slightly choked up, “You don’t deserve having to deal with that. It doesn’t matter where I grew up or what I’m used to. You shouldn’t have to experience that.”
“It hurts you know? I love you so much sometimes but I’m also so, so, scared of you.” You feel Shalnark stiffen up at your words, “I don’t know what’s real over what you want me to think about you. Just when I think I get a glimpse at what you are truly like, you flash me that charming smile and shuffle it under the rug.”
You grasp onto Shalnark’s shirt and shake him slightly, “I want to love you idiot but I can’t if you don’t allow me. I want to love all of you, not what you show me.”
“I-I know-w.” Shalnark mumbles out, his voice coming out wobbly as he tightens his grip around you. Tucking his head into your shoulder as he begins to shake. His breathing became wobbly and choked up.
“Y-You act like such-h an idiot sometimes. And— And I-I do, too.” You choke out, your voice breaking as you finally just stop your rant and sob into Shalnark’s shoulder.
You don’t know how long you two stay like that, under the moonlight, in that dark cold room. Though it isn’t as though you care. Your tears and a couple strands of your hair stick to your sticky face. You had stopped crying a while ago but it didn’t stop the hiccups of sobs that racked through you.
“I’m sorry.” Shalnark finally speaks up, his voice cracking as he breaks the silence. “I’m so sorry.”
“…I’m sorry as well.” You respond with as well, your voice not any better. “Just…”
Finally for the first time since you came into the room, you look at Shalnark. His teal eyes were bloodshot and red from crying. Along with some dark bags under his eyes, a clear sign he hasn’t been sleeping well. His skin wasn’t any better, his cheeks were flushed from crying and certain areas of his skin broke out into a bumpy rash from the salty liquid. Finally, his usual neat hair and clothing was unkept. His clothes wrinkle and his hair cascading every which way.
“Just… no more hiding things between us.” You say, staring into his eyes, “I can’t do this anymore, if we can’t be honest with each other.”
“Agreed.” Shalnark breathes out, staring back into your eyes. He slumps forward yet again into your shoulder, his eyes shutting in exhaustion. For a moment you believe he is going to fall asleep on you until he speaks up once more.
“I think I should start from the beginning.” He murmurs, “While I don’t remember it, I was apparently dropped off 3 days after my birth at Meteor city. Don’t know the name of my father nor the name of my mother. All I knew was that my mother was an apparent prostitute and had accidentally gotten knocked up. She never wanted a kid—“
As Shalnark continues to tell you his story, early night turns late and eventually you two get up from the ground and move to the bed around the time he begins to tell you about the beginning of his troupe years. He tells you about the good. The bad. All the good acts he has done over the years like being a mini Robin Hood. As well as some unspeakable acts. He tells you about the blood, the genocides, the thirst for treasure and greed. Not caring who they killed or what happened to those they tortured and left alive. How eventually down the line he grew to not fear death. Ready to sacrifice himself if need be for the troupe.
And you listen. You stayed at Shalnark’s side and listened. You accepted him for the good and the bad. While you didn’t agree with what he did at certain points in his life and certain opinions he still held, you understood you couldn’t change him. This wasn’t some fairy tale where the girl changes the bad guy into a good guy. Shalnark was… well Shalnark. He would always be somewhat controlling and hold a silver tongue. Always treat others he believed that were below him as mere toys. And while you didn’t exactly love that side of him, you accepted it. To you, the good outweighed the bad and you wouldn’t change a thing about him.
So for the rest of his story you listened, giving the occasional story of your own life when you deemed it was appropriate or he didn’t know what to continue with next. And eventually you two fell asleep in each other’s grasps, you didn’t know when but likely sometime in the early morning.
And when you awoke at the crack of dawn, you allowed Shalnark to lead you back to his room. For some more privacy so you two wouldn’t be bothered in your rest.
Leaving the empty room behind, both of yours rose colored glasses on the ground. Shattered and broken apart. Though, you wouldn’t be fixing them anytime soon. Instead leaving them for the janitor to sweep when he came into work.
Warning: Very Dark Themes. No shipping or fluff at all.
Author Note: Originally a Prologue for a series I imagined but I ended up dropped it as its poetic language was hard to keep up in later chapters.
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An Outsider.
From the moment you were born that is all you knew.
That you were an outsider.
Your mother was a Kurta. One of the few that did not hold the famous Scarlet eyes of her clan. But that never seemed to matter to her. At least not at the time it did.
Not until they showed up.
The spiders. Or “Those wretched disgusting thieves” as your mother used to call them.
As her clanmates got tortured and slaughtered one by one in the night. As the spiders one by one plucked out the pairs of scarlet eyes of Kurta adults and children alike. Your mother didn’t understand why she was left alive.
Why their leader kept heralive.
She had no scarlet eyes—No treasure for the thieves to steal—But to him, he liked her for a different reason.
“I wondered if it would be better to be born with those scarlet eyes…” You remember hearing your mother ramble one day. You were only 7 ½ at the time, and by then on your 7th birthday in the summertime, your mother had started to lose her mind. No reason for the hestirary to occur but no solution to help solve it either. “I wonder if he would have slaughtered me like the rest of them. Instead of bedding me instead. So softly and gentle. …It hauntsme.”
You wondered if she even knew you were there. Knew that you could hear every mutter and murmur of her words through the thin walls of your little cottage home. Knew of every horror she went through in the months she spent with him and every scream of nightmare that awoke her at night.
Him. He. That’s all you knew of your father.
He. Thief. Bastard. The leader of the phantom troupe. The list went on and on.
Yet, never his name. Though you wonder if he ever gave it to her in the first place. Or if she remembered it. You would never blame your mother if she didn’t.
An outsider in many ways you were.
Even though you were only half Kurtan and your mother didn’t have them, you were cursed to be born with the Scarlet Eyes. The last and only of your clan to have them as far as you knew.
“Stay out of sight.” “Be careful not to get angry.” “Whatever you do, don’t get caught.”
Like a drill sergeant, your mother told you that every morning. No matter if you were 3 or even 10, it was a ritual. Just like how one would always brush their teeth or tie their shoes a certain way; like clockwork you would hear a version of those words.
“Of course, Mother.”
It was easy not to mess up. To not show your bloody red eyes, or… any emotion in general…
Perhaps that’s why the other kids did not talk to you. Perhaps that’s why the other parents whispered about you being a Sociopath. Perhaps you were one in the end.
Though to you such things did not matter. The words did not matter. The stares did not matter. Eventually you got used to them and they all blended into the background. You carried on with your day to day business as always.
Even to your mother, you were an Outsider.
For all that you could remember, your mother always had her back turned towards you. Never to look you in the eyes. Never to greet or talk to you. And never, ever, did she hug, kiss or smile at you.
The only thing you knew of your mother was her voice and her hair. Her golden blonde hair, hung in many braids, that flowed down to her mid back. Never to see what color her eyes were. Never to see if she had a button or perhaps arched nose. Never.
And it wasn’t like you could guess from the features you had on your face anyways. The many comments and shock from the villagers when you said who your mother was told you that much. You really held no resemblance to her, was the most popular comment you heard.
Perhaps that’s why your mother always had her back turned to you. Because you remind her too much of your father.
Black inky hair. Cold Grey eyes. Broad shoulders and lanky limbs.
You bet you were a little carbon copy of him.
And you bet it didn’t help that when you were 10 a kid put a piece of gum in your long hair and you were forced to cut it really short. The glass plate crashing to the ground when your mother caught sight of your appearance in the reflection of the window when you came home told you that much.
To your mother you were a reminder of what she feared the most. The horrors and torture she experienced. That is why you were an outsider in your very own home.
You understood why you were an outsider.
You understood that only on your 11th birthday did you finally see your mother’s face … when she had hung herself in the living room. That only then you saw how you looked nothing like her.
You understood that this house was never truly your home, only a dollhouse that your mother used to play pretend. Her safe haven to hide from the world and truth she never wanted to look at. To never look at you, the demon spawn she created. You understood this and left.
You understood why the adults called you a sociopath and the children called you strange. Never wanting to play or be near you. That it was much too easy for you, a child, to kill that couple you came across in the alleyway of a city. You understood this as you took their brand new wedding bands to a pawn shop and took the money the person behind the counter gave you, like it was nothing.
You understood your mother. You understood your classmates. The parents. The teachers. The birds. The cats. The dogs. The priest. The nuns. The farmers. The store owners. The wives. The husbands. The elderly. The babies.
You understood… that you were an outsider to them. To everyone.
Perhaps that is why when you took the hunter exam and met that blonde hair boy—the same color blonde as your mother…and the same cursed eyes as you—that you approached him.
That you showed him your same scarlet eyes,
Told him about your mother’s unfortunate sucicide,
And what you knew about what happened to the Kurta Clan.
All while not telling him a word about your father.
Perhaps… just perhaps… you would not be an outsider this time.
Hey guys been a while. I’m still in the spring semester at college so I’m still too busy to post updates to series or take requests. But I was scrolling through my docs account today and found some one shots I never posted either for reasons that I didn’t feel like readers would like them or I was too lazy to edit them.
Most are HxH Oneshots from what I can see but would people like to read them?
I feel bad that I’ve been leaving my readers without content for a while
