#ranked
✨ranking some of barbie movies✨|3/31|
“True Courage is Pursuing your Dream, even when Everyone Else says it’s Impossible"
Barbie and The Three Musketeers, 2009
Barbie e as Três Mosqueteiras
“I’m lovin’ it!"
christmas hymns, rated.
carol of the bells:ₘₑᵣᵣᵧᴍᴇʀʀʏᵐᵉʳʳʸchristmasₘₑᵣᵣᵧᴍᴇʀʀʏᵐᵉʳʳʸchristmas. creepy as shitand loving every moment of it. perfect for holiday-themed vampire lurking outside the gothic cathedral of your choice. just enough of a frantic tone to keep you on your toes. and sung with a child choir? you’ve knocked it outta the park, bud. 10/10.
hark, the herald angels sing!: not the best. a bit dry. can lose you if you’re not paying attention. points for being easy for kiddies to sing at church though! we froth accessibility. 5/10.
good king wencelas: thin and crisp and even 6/10.
o come, all ye faithful/adeste fideles: sex symbol. inventor of the crescendo. the absolute vibes this thing has are haunting, especially under and good church roof. smack an over confident leading tenor in the mix and you have a winner. 10/10.
ding dong! merrily on high: makes me feel like i’m a young peasant girl running through the streets of a quaint european village in the wintertime with no cares save what father christmas shall deliver to my stocking this eve. would definitely ₒₒᴼooᴼᴼᴼᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᴼᴼₒₒₒₒₒoooₒₒʰᵒˢᵃⁿⁿᵃ ᶦⁿ ᵉˣᶜᵉˡˢᶦˢ again. 9/10.
o holy night: the shift from relatively normal sounding verses to , will never fail to shatter me like glass. 11/10
away in a manger:likehark, the herald angels sing! this one is pretty simple. easy for the whole family to sing which makes it an ideal church song! but lacks energy. a good wind down, but that’s about it. 5/10.
we three kings of orient: i always thought the “three kings” were sorta stupid and unnecessary. like, the shepherds i understand, but three randos from “the east”? seems shoehorned in honestly. kinda feels like whichever apostle (matthew?) wrote that in somehow knew that, years in the future, groups of unenthusiastic children were gonna have to be assigned roles in nativity plays and added three more possible characters just to stop half the kids from having to play sheep and grass so they could be “included”. cheers matt. song is okay i guess. 6/10.
once in royal david’s city: pretty inconsequential hymn, but the Choir of King’s College Cambridge do an arrangement that makes me believe in God for approx. four and a half minutes every time I listen to it. 8.5/10, bonus points for the king’s col. boys. ur doing so good lads. big love.
the first noël: a true banger and a greatsong to sing in church because there’s always some lady in the front pews who tries really hard to do all those killer soprano parts by herself. absolutely magical when sung right and absolutely magical when sung wrong. 10/10.
1) the assessment of “o come all ye faithful” (my favorite carol ever) is 100% accurate
2) it’s missing some of my other favorites so:
silent night: ~controversial opinion~ but this song only works if you’re doing it as minimalist as possible. no fancy orchestras, no belting, no vibrato. IF YOU’RE NOT DOING IT WITH A SINGLE GUITAR BECAUSE YOUR ORGAN IS BROKEN THEN YOU’RE NOT DOING IT RIGHT. 6/10 (the Austrian version is 10/10 because everything sounds better in German and that’s that about that)
god rest ye merry, gentlemen: super spooky. has satan in it. sounds like a threat. subsequent verses are kind of boring, though. 7/10.
coventry carol: ALSO super spooky. literally just about dead babies. there’s a reason it’s in the soundtrack to a vampire movie which otherwise has zero connection to christmas. 7.5/10
lo how a rose e’re blooming: love the visuals. again, is best in german because the german language just produces the best carols, sorry, I don’t make the rules. 8/10
Modern Christmas music sucks but these? These slap. Good shit, atheist approved.
The Holly and the Ivy (Gardner’s version) - Perfectly encapsulates that manic buzz of having scoffed way too much Christmas chocolate. Got an adrenaline rush just thinking about it. Makes me jitter in place like I’m about to vibrate through the cracks between dimensions. 9.8/10
I do just want to say that we three kings deserves an extra point or two if you sing all the verses. There are five verses, traditionally the first and the fifth are sung because those are general and easy. The second, third, and fourth are NOT usually sung because they are about the individual gifts the kings were bringing, and two of them (gold and frankincense) are fine but myrrh…..
Myrrh is mine; its bitter perfume
Breathes a life of gathering gloom;—
Sorrowing, sighing,
Bleeding, dying,
Sealed in the stone-cold tomb.Myrrh SLAPS and we are too cowardly to sing it and because we cant sing about two of the three gifts, we don’t use any of the middle verses.
Oh come oh come emmanuel: Haunting. Isolating. The weight of the world on your very young shoulders (no matter your age). Reckoning with your sin, mortality, and imperfections for four very intense minutes.15/10.
It came upon a midnight clear: A lullaby or a lover’s song. Fun to sing, stunning to listen to. Makes you believe in angels. 8/10.
What child is this: wonder. Mystery. The glory and majesty of God in the humblest form. Feels like something Bach would write. More moving the older you get. Singable! 7/10
I was gonna say, anyone who thinks ‘we three kings’ is meh has clearly not heard the bit about ‘sorrowing sighing bleeding dying’ sung by men with extremely deep voices.
Me: *picks a champion I have not played in 2+ years for a ranked game*
*Does poorly and looses*
Me: