In a bid to get Red Hood to come back to crime-bossing(1)(2), his former goons get together and plan a nice surprise for him.
The next day: BREAKING NEWS: JOKER CONFIRMED DEAD
They did good. Boss is happy and didn’t even contradict them once when they called him boss. He even shooed Batman and the little stabby Robin away from them.
On the contrary, I believe he fully embraces this because “It took Bruce ten years to get 2, and it took me eight months to get 34, so HA”
Okay now I’m just picturing Bruce and his (small) collection of Worlds Greatest Dad mugs in the Batcave and then we head over to Jason’s safe house and he has an entire wall dedicated to his collection of 34+ Worlds Greatest Dadmugs.
Okay but what if Jason adopts an actual child kid also, and so one day he shows up to the manor with this cute little eight year old, a twenty year old, and someone probably older than Bruce and introduces them all as his kids
Ahhhh now all I can imagine is Jason rolling up to the principle’s office with full red hood get up because, hey his kids put down red hood and that’s who was called.
Principal: Sir, you can’t just-
Jason: don’t worry I have no weapons on me this is a school for crying out loud.
Jason, under his breath: not like I’d need them though.
Principal: what?
Jason: anyways you did call me in here for a reason right?
Principal, thinking this will just be informing a parent of a suspension: well your daughter got into an altercation with another student-
Jason, cutting him off because he already got the full story and came prepared: so I heard you support bullying in your school *proceeds to give the principal a lecture on addressing bullying in schools, he brought journal articles and published studies* and so the fact that my daughter felt the need to stand up for bullied student meant that she felt the school would not. What do you have to say for yourself?
Principal:
Principal:
Jason: let’s work on a better plan of action together.
Ok I love this idea but also. Imagine if when some kid comes up to him and is all like, mr red hood sir can I please put you down as my dad on the paperwork cause I need a parent to go to school.
And obviously he’s not gonna say no,he wants these kids to have an education so they don’t end up in some gang, but also he can’t exactly have them putting a wanted kind-of-criminal down on their paperwork as their dad, cause that would cause more than a few problems.
So he’s like, look, you can’t put me down, but I know a guy you can put down as your dad, ok? And then promptly rocks up in civilian clothing, as Jason Todd (or an alias I guess since he’s technically dead) and signs up as all these kids dads in schools.
And obviously no one knows who Jason Todd is or how he knows red hood, and his goons ain’t snitches so they don’t go asking other people, and no ones really sure how it happened before they’ve really registered it there’s a whole betting table in place as to how they know each other.
The theories range from hes secretly an alien to hes actually red hoods brother to the most popular theory - theyre actually dating.
Jason has no clue any of this is going on until he’s in a bar one night as a civilian and some guy tries to pick a fight with him and he’s all ready to break this guys nose off and then -
Jerry or Kate or Bob or one of his other goons gets inbetween them and just. Decks the guy. Before they drag him out, though, they turn to Jason, nod, and say something along the lines of
‘Hey, man, sorry about that, he should know better than to mess with the boss’s boyfriend. Say hi to him for me. Also, thanks for signing up as Cath’s dad, she’s so happy in school, it’s really nice to see her getting the chance to be something better, you know? Anyways, have a nice date!’
And obviously Hood can’t deny it. Cause then he’d have to actually explain how he knows Jason Todd, and that would be stupid when he’s got a perfectly good excuse already made up for him.
It does get a bit annoying though, when he realises that at any given point a whole gaggle of his goons are running after him - or rather, after Jason - trying to protect their boss’s ‘boyfriend’ from everything. He does appreciate the sentiment, though.
Meanwhile, the goons are all just happy they now have two dads.
Jason is doing his own thing in a bar looking for a one night stand or smtg. And his goons show up and ruin his plans.
Now he can never date either as a civilian or as RH bc his goons/kids will thibk he’s cheating.
Okay so then what do the goons think of Roy?
Lol, maybe Roy is the mistress
Broke: Bruce Wayne and Batman are dating
Woke: Jason Todd and Red Hood are dating
Jason solves the whole cheating situation by saying they’re a throuple. It bites him in the ass when Roy decides to annoy his boyfriend both in and out of costume. (Jason secretly loves it)
So then is there a rumor that the reason Batman doesn’t like red hood is because his dad (red hood) is dating his boyfriend’s (Bruce Wayne’s) son (Jason Todd)?
This is like, soap opera level
No wonder Gotham is so invested in this
Currently have a vivid picture in my mind of red hoods’ goons betting board. Except it’s kinda like how, you know when you’re watching the most ridiculous tv show? And you start making increasingly ridiculous bets on what’s going to happen next? Kinda like that
Kath has money on Bruce Wayne publicly confronting batman about Batman’s father (red hood) dating his (Bruce Wayne’s) son (Jason Todd)
Ted has fifty on it being revealed that cat woman, Bruce, and batman are also in a polyamorous relationship, but Jon’s pretty sure Batman’s just trying to get back at Bruce for being such a playboy by cheating on him with cat woman really obviously
There’s someone who has money on Bruce Wayne secretly being a supervillain and just using batman for his own benefit, and that hood will figure it out and have to explain to his ‘son’ that his boyfriend is actually a supervillain.
Currently the running winner is Mary, who is Totally Not Jason’s Favourite Kid, and he Totally Does Not give her hints as to what to bet on while helping her with her English homework.
New to Tumblr and this is already like the fourth time I’ve seen a reference to some theory that Bruce and Batman are dating. Where did that come from?
Welcome to tumblr
I don’t know where it started exactly, but I do know there’s discussion about what people in gotham would think about batman, including where the heck he gets all his gadgetry from. That stuff’s got to be expensive, right? But oh wait, we have a billionaire that lives here and maybe they……..
Dating. They must be dating. It’s the only reasonable answer.
Ah now @novelisgreat that IS something I can answer a little better
