#rqg epilogue

Wilde could hardly believe it.  It was years in the making, between the world falling apart, magic disappearing, and their various coping methods thereafter.  But now, there they were, he and Zolf, in front of their new house.  They weren’t staying in Wilde’s apartment anymore, no – this was theirs, together.

The crew of the Venga had helped build it.  There was no way Wilde and Zolf could build a whole house on their own, and, once Cel learned about a construction project, there was no way to keep them from lending a hand and taking over.  The kitchen counters had levers to adjust the height, depending on whether Wilde or Zolf wanted to use them, there was a lift to the attic, and Cel installed a strange cannon-like device that would fire a blanket at someone if they stayed stationary in the living room too long, since both Wilde and Zolf had a penchant for staying up late with their work and falling asleep there.

And now, it was done. Their furniture was in place, the walls had been painted, and the front door was open, waiting for them.

“Ready?”  Wilde asked.

It wasn’t as if they hadn’t already been inside while building it, but this was different.  This was their first proper entrance to the life they’d thought was out of reach for so long.

“Ready,” Zolf replied. “Come here.”

Wilde stepped closer, not entirely sure what Zolf had planned.  The curiosity didn’t last long, however, as Zolf immediately scooped him up into his lap, and then began to wheel his way down the front walk and through the door.

Once they were inside, however, Wilde didn’t abandon his position, and Zolf made no effort to remove him.  Instead, Wilde shifted so that he sat sideways in Zolf’s lap and was able to look him in the eye.

“I’m pretty sure that carrying someone over the threshold is something married couples do,” Wilde said, a smirk on his lips.

“Oh, I thought it was just when a couple moved into a new house together.”

“I mean, I’m sure it works like that too.”

Before Wilde could say anything more, Zolf casually added, “Well, when we get married, it’ll be your turn to carry me over the threshold.  Then we’re even.”

Wilde’s coy expression faded in an instant as his jaw dropped.  Some days he scarcely believed that Zolf had come back to him at all, and that he was still there, still with him after so much time had passed.  They still had their bad days, of course, and occasionally Zolf needed significant periods of time to himself, but he never disappeared so drastically anymore.  And he always came home.

It had been Wilde’s idea to get a house together in the first place, and part of him still feared that he pushed Zolf too hard with that, even though it had been a vague suggestion at best until Zolf started drawing out shaky designs.  He wanted Zolf to always feel welcome, and they needed a place that belonged to both of them, not just to Wilde, if that were to be the case.

But he never considered marriage.  Last time he thought about it was when he was a boy, before he started working constant overtime for the Meritocrats, before the world went to pieces, before they had to try and put those pieces back together one by one.  He was happy just to have Zolf in his life, someone that would hold him tight when the nightmares came back and who cooked him meals that were seasoned with devotion.

Marriage, though…

Wilde knew when Zolf was teasing, could recognize the glint in his eye and the faintest rise at the corner of his lips, but this was a sincere comment, said without hidden humor or prodding.

“You alright?”  Zolf questioned, shaking Wilde from his thoughts.

“Yes!”  He answered, a little too readily.  “Sorry, I just…”  He didn’t want to press this issue, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it.  “‘When we get married’?”

Zolf hesitated.  “Is that… bad?”

With a wide smile, Wilde breathed, “Not at all.  I didn’t expect it, though, I guess.”

“Yeah, it’s not really something we’ve ever talked about.  I don’t know.  It doesn’t have to mean anything.  I just… I’m finally thinking about my future, believing that I’ll have a future. And when I think about it, you’re always there.  It’s taken me a lot longer than it probably should have to realize it and allow myself to realize it, but… I want to stay with you.  And not for a couple of months, but as long as you’ll have me.  And if one day, you would want me as your husband, then…  Yeah, I want that too.”

Wilde couldn’t manage any words.  All he could do was bridge the little space between them and wrap his arms around Zolf’s shoulders.  He breathed him in and held him tight, so overwhelmed in the best kind of way.

“I would really like that,” he murmured as he drew back from the embrace, meeting Zolf’s nervous gaze and forcing him to look at him.

“It’s not like we have to do anything now,” Zolf added.  “We still have things to unpack.”

Wilde chuckled.  “Always the pragmatist.”  After a pause, he continued, “You’re right though.  We should get settled here first, and then maybe we can talk about marriage again later?”

“Yeah.”  Despite himself, Zolf smiled, a contagious sight to Wilde.

“Besides, you know I have to put on an extravagant proposal.  A simple chat simply won’t do,” he teased, and Zolf let out a laugh.

“Of course you do. Now, get off my lap before you crush what’s left of my legs, you insufferable…”

He couldn’t finish his joking retort.  Wilde removed himself from Zolf’s lap, but Zolf stopped him soon after by gently grabbing his hand.  Instead of more teasing, he spoke again with sincerity.

“Thank you, Wilde.  For being there for me.”

“Always.”

“I want to be there for you.  I haven’t always been, but I want to be better.”

Wilde bent down so that he could press a kiss to Zolf’s knuckles.

“We’re both still working on it,” he replied.  “We both still have our bad days.  You wheel off, I throw myself into my work.  But what matters is that we sort it out together, yeah?”

Zolf smiled and gave Wilde’s hand a squeeze.  “Yeah. Together.”

Even though the grunt of pain from Kiko was quiet and muffled by clattering wood, Azu heard it from the far side of the structure that would, according to Cel, one day become a ship.  She moved swiftly to her side and knelt down next to her.

“Kiko?  Are you alright?”

“I just cut my hand, it’s fine.”  She held out her arm to show Azu the gash that now ran from back of her hand and partially down her forearm.

Instinctively, Azu took Kiko’s injured hand in her own and shut her eyes tight.  Under her breath, she murmured a prayer to Aphrodite, begging her to heal Kiko and keep her safe in this and in all things.

When she opened her eyes and saw that the wound had not sealed itself up in a glow of pink, she let out a defeated sigh.

“You forgot again, didn’t you?”  Kiko asked cautiously.

Azu nodded.  “Sometimes I think that if… that if I pray hard enough, she’ll still hear me.”  Then she shook her head.  “I have some bandages.  We should clean this up before it gets infected.”

As Azu tenderly cleaned and bandaged Kiko’s injury with the supplies she kept on her person at all times, Kiko watched her features with a mixture of concern and admiration.

“There you go, all set. I’ll change the bandages later and see how it’s doing.”

Despite her words, Azu continued holding Kiko’s hand, and Kiko made no attempt to pull away.

“Listen, I don’t know how it all works now.  But… if Aphrodite is still out there, I know she can hear you,” Kiko insisted.  “And maybe she can’t help you with spells or healing anymore, but she’s still here, in her own way.”

Azu let out a heavy breath. “I just don’t know.  It’s hard.  It feels… empty, now.”

Kiko squeezed Azu’s hand a little tighter.  “I’m sorry. And I know nothing can fill that void.  But she’s the goddess of love.  As long as there’s love in the world, she’s still here.  As long as you still love - and you love so muchandso deeply - then she’s still there with you, even if it’s hard to feel her presence.  And you are so strong to keep going, to keep fighting and believing in her when you can’t hear her call back to you.”

With a shudder, Azu slumped forward against Kiko, who wrapped her arms around her and tugged her as far into her lap as she could manage.  Azu didn’t cry, but her fingers shook as she made fists in Kiko’s shirt, pain and despair and loss all mingling together as one.  A few moments later, she released her grip somewhat so that she could meet Kiko’s gaze.

“It’s hard to be without her.  But you’re right.  As long as there’s love in the world, Aphrodite is still here.  And maybe I can’t feel her anymore, not in the same way, but maybe she can still hear me.”

Kiko caressed Azu’s cheek. “For what it’s worth, I do know that there will always be love in the world so long as I’m around.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.  Because I love you.”

Azu smiled and chuckled, then pressed a quick kiss to Kiko’s lips.  “I love you too.”

“And I’m not saying that to try and distract you from losing your god or anything, I just-”

“I know.  It helps.  Youhelp.”

“You do too.”  Kiko gestured with her bandaged hand.   “Not just with healing, but… in so many ways.  I don’t know much about gods, but I do know that I love you, and nothing can change that.”

The morning after the reunion, Zolf wheeled himself out of his room in the back of the inn next to The Soggy Captain, attempting to open and close the door as quietly as possible.  He knew it was early.  Not like he’d been having much luck sleeping since, well, everything started, and even before then.  He wanted to get some time to himself and roll around the city a bit before the ominous looking rain clouds decided to drench them.

However, he rolled out of his room and immediately saw Wilde, stepping out of his own room a few doors down the hall.

“Oh, good morning, Zolf,” he said with a smile.  A sincere smile, though his eyes betrayed the myriad of emotions fluctuating beneath the surface.

“Yeah, ‘morning. Didn’t realize you were staying here.”

“Well, I figured it was best to find a room close by in case the festivities got bit toofestive.”

Zolf nodded. “Fair.”  He paused for a moment, during which time he and Wilde could only look over the other, really taking them in for the first time in years.

“We didn’t get to talk too much last night,” Zolf continued, looking at his lap.  “And there’s a lot I want to say.  You know I’m not good with words, but-”

“It’s okay, Zolf.”

“No, it’s not, I left.  Leaving is all I seem to be good at.”

Wilde moved toward him, hand outstretched as if to comfort him, but he stopped a few steps short. He still held out his hand, as if unsure of what to do.

“The short version is: I’m sorry,” Zolf said.  He made sure to meet Wilde’s gaze this time, even as tears began to roll down his cheeks. “The long version is-”

“We don’t have to do that now if you don’t want,” Wilde interjected.  “We’ll have time for that later.  I forgive you.  And, like I said, the door is always open for you.”

“I don’t want you to have to wait for me.”

“I don’t know how much choice either of us have in that.”

Zolf looked over Wilde again, grateful at least that the man seemed to be taking better care of himself now. And this was without Zolf making use of his kitchen and crafting him a variety of meals.

“There is one thing for right now.  Can I… We didn’t… Can I hug you?”  Zolf felt so small as he asked that, and he hated the way his voice quivered with the question.

Wilde smiled wide, his own tears starting to fall.  He knelt down next to Zolf’s chair and pulled him into a tight embrace.  Zolf hugged him back, burying his face in Wilde’s neck and letting the tears fall freely.

After what could only barely begin to make up for the embraces they missed in their years apart, they separated, though Wilde still remained on his knees as he wiped Zolf’s tear-stained cheeks.

“It really is good to see you again,” Zolf whispered, holding onto Wilde’s arm as if it was the only thing keeping him from being rolled away and never coming back.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

Before they could say anything more, a loud “Hello!” erupted from the main area of the inn, followed quickly by a scream and the hasty movement of some furniture.

“You don’t think… is Einstein staying here too?”  Zolf asked.

Wilde shook his head. “How long do you think he was hiding in thatcupboard?”

“Do you think he slept there?”

With a faint chuckle, Wilde stood.  “Shall we go see what he’s done now?”

“Yeah, let’s go.  And, Wilde?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you.  For everything.  You’re… You’re better than I deserve.”

“I don’t care about ‘deserve.’  I want you around, I want you in my life.  And that’s more than good enough for me.”

Me?  Back on my Zolf/Wilde/Hamid bullshit?  It’s more likely than you think

Hamid groaned as he reached to shut off the alarm clock.  The sun wasn’t even up yet.

“Morning,” Wilde said with a yawn.  “Are you ready?”

Hamid sighed.  “Yeah, I am.  But right now I just want to stay here.”

Zolf responded by pressing a slow kiss to Hamid’s shoulder, his hand resting on Hamid’s waist.

“You’ve been excited about this conference for ages,” Wilde replied.

“I know, and I amexcited.  But that doesn’t mean I don’t also want to stay sandwiched in between the two of you.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll be right here when you get back,” Zolf murmured, his fingers playing with Hamid’s shirt as if he too was loathe to let him leave.

“And we’ll miss you the whole time,” Wilde added.

“And I’ll miss you too.”

“Hey, at least this time you’ll only be gone for a little over a month,” Zolf said.  “Last time was way longer than that.”

“That was the worst,” Hamid cried, and Wilde nodded.

“And one of your next conferences is in London, so we’ll be there.”

“You won’t be able to get rid of us,” Wilde teased as he brushed a flyaway hair from Hamid’s face.

“You’ll easily be able to find Oscar in the audience; he’ll be the one snoring,” Zolf remarked dryly.

“Hey!  I would never fall asleep during Hamid’s talk.  Someone else’s talk… entirely possible.”

Hamid chuckled, savoring the warmth he felt with Oscar and Zolf at his side, both physically and figuratively.  He had found a good mixture of work-life balance, where he could travel the world, do his research, and give his talks, while also coming home to that little pub and its proprietors, but that didn’t mean that the leaving was any easier.

“Thank you,” Hamid breathed, taking one of Wilde’s hands and one of Zolf’s into each of his own.  “For letting me stay here.  And for making his place feel like a home.”

“Itis home, Hamid,” Zolf said, and squeezed Hamid’s hand tight.  “As long as you want it to be.”

“And home will be waiting for you, however long you’re gone,” Wilde added.  He reached out his free hand to wipe away the tears that started rolling down Hamid’s cheek.

The trio sat like that for a little while longer, savoring each other’s presence, until Zolf broke contact.

“Alright, you really do have to get up and finish packing, or you’re never going to make your ship in time.  I know how long it takes you to pack.  Getting you or Oscar anywhere takes days.”

“We can’t all wear the same three shirts, Zolf,” Wilde replied.  Despite his sass, he too relinquished his grip on Hamid’s hand and sat up, stretching and letting out another noisy yawn.  “Some of us understand fashion.”

“Yeah, I understand fashion.  I understand that I don’t understand it.”

Hamid laughed again as he sat up and began to drag himself out of bed.  Once he was stood on the cold floor, he looked back at Wilde and Zolf. “I love you.  I love you both so much.”

Zolf, still seated in bed, reached out for Hamid.  He took a step closer so that Zolf could cup his cheek and kiss him, before they fell into an embrace.  Meanwhile, Wilde crawled across the covers to stretch his arms around the both of them, holding them tight.

“Okay, now, really – go get packed,” Zolf snapped jokingly when they all started to weakly release their hold on each other.

“Alright, alright.”

Hamid darted around the room and the pub, gathering up his essentials and a frankly ridiculous amount of Zolf’s Cambell fanfiction for the voyage.  The place had become a home to him in the months he’d spent there with Zolf and Wilde, and every time he left it felt like losing his magic all over again, as if he was separated from something so intrinsically a part of him. But this time, he would come home in a matter of weeks and see them again, ready to tell them all sorts of stories from his travels.  Zolf would complain that Wilde still didn’t know how to pull a pint, and Wilde would in turn complain that Zolf still oversalted the food, and it would be like he never left.

“Come on in, Zolf, the water’s lovely!”

He shook his head, a safe distance away on the jetty.  At least the moon was mostly full, so Hamid, Cel, and Azu’s midnight swim wasn’t as dangerous as it could have been, even if it was still extremely ill-advised.

“Nah, I’m good,” Zolf called back to Hamid.  “Someone’s got to get help if something happens.”  Given how tipsy he was, he wasn’t entirely sure if he’d be able to make it back up the walkway regardless, but he could at least make an attempt and yell loud enough someone might hear.  And besides, it was a good excuse that kept him out of the water.

“Wait, do you not want to because… Poseidon, and all that?”  Hamid spoke the god’s name furtively, as if whispering a deep dark secret.

“No, sod him, I don’t care about that.  We’re all drunk and it’s dark; we shouldn’t be out in the ocean at all.”

“Pfft,” Cel said, taking a break from making dolphin noises as they splashed around.  “Zolf, you gotta swim with us.”

“I do not,” he insisted.

With that, Azu climbed out of the water and back onto the beach, marching straight toward Zolf.

“I’m going to pick you up now,” she said.

“No, no, no…”

“Just because I’m getting older doesn’t mean I’m not still strong enough to carry you into the sea with us.”

“That’s not what I meant!” Zolf cried as Azu lifted him out of his chair and gently carried him toward the water.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Hamid added as they crossed the sand.  “We’re not going to force you.”

“I can put you back,” Azu offered, and Zolf shook his head.

“Eh, why not?”  He said with a shrug.  The whole idea of swimming at night while drunk was already a bad idea, but they’d survived worse.  He might as well have some fun. “I’m not sure how well I can tread water or balance with only half my legs, though.”

“We won’t let you sink, don’t worry,” Cel said.

“I can give you a floating piggyback ride if you want,” Azu suggested as she stepped into the waves.

“Uh, yeah, let’s try that, if that’s okay.”

“Of course!”

Azu set Zolf down just at the edge of the water, then knelt down so that she could carry him on her back instead of in her arms like a baby as she had been.  Once he was repositioned, she stood up and walked slowly into the sea, careful to make sure Zolf’s head was still safely above the waves.  Cel and Hamid cheered as the whole crew entered the water.

“Yeah, alright, this isn’t so bad,” Zolf admitted, even cracking a smile.  He had his arms on Azu’s shoulders so that he wouldn’t drift off, but he was managing to float on his own without too much trouble.  The waves were much calmer than they were on their last visit to that beach.

“Told you!”  Cel yelled.  Then, their eyes went wide with an even more ill-advised idea.  “Azu, put Zolf on your shoulders, and I’ll put Hamid on mine, and we’ll do a chicken fight!”

“Zolf?”  Hamid asked, checking to make sure Zolf was alright with the plan before he agreed.

Zolf laughed, shaking his head with the ridiculousness of the situation, but then he narrowed his eyes.  “You know what?  You’re on.  And you’re going down.”

“Hey, Hamid, you got a minute?”  Zolf wheeled over next to Hamid as they both found themselves at a lull in the reunion.

“Sure!  How are you?”

Zolf gave a noncommittal shrug in response, and Hamid nodded knowingly.  Then, Zolf added, “I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a dick.”

“Zolf, I mean this in a kind way, but when has that ever stopped you before?”

For a split second, Hamid regretted his words.  Zolf was actually reaching out, trying to make conversation with him despite all of the time and arguments between them, and the first thing he did was call him rude.

However, he didn’t have to worry long, as almost immediately Zolf let out a loud laugh, a sound neither of them had heard in far too long.  Hamid couldn’t help but smile as he did so.

“You know, that’s fair,” Zolf said.  “I guess, I just want to say, I know you’re not doing well, and-”

Hamid slumped and sighed, then tried to right himself as much as possible.  “Is it that obvious?”

“I know we didn’t really spend that much time together, but when you fight alongside someone…  I can tell.  I think we all can.  The others are just too polite to say something outright.”

With a smile, Hamid teased, “Your bedside manner did always leave something to be desired.”

“And it hasn’t gotten any better,” Zolf chuckled, then he continued.  “If there’s anything I can do to help with things, let me know, yeah?  I don’t know what I can do, but if you think of anything, just say the word.  I know losing magic hit me hard; I can’t imagine how it’s been for you.”

Hamid scoffed into his drink.  “Please. You needed magic to walk.  I used it to do my makeup and tailoring.  I should be handling it better.”

“Magic was a part of you, mate, part of who you were, and you lost that.  It was a tie to your family and your past.  Plus, I saw you in combat.  Fireballs and lightning bolts and magical armor – you saved my life more than once.  Your magic did a lot; we wouldn’t be standing here today, one way or another, without it.” After a pause, Zolf added, “And, listen, I never entirely understood the whole obsession with prestidigitation all the time, what between you and Wilde always worried about how your suits fit, but it was important to you, and that means that being without it is hard.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Hamid’s fingers tightened around his glass as he tried not to cry.  “A lot of people have it worse, though.  I have a family I can go back to, a home that was able to be repaired without too much trouble.  I shouldn’t be worried about magic, or even my own line of clothing.”

“They matter to you, so they matter,” Zolf insisted.  “Just because someone else has it worse doesn’t mean it can’t still hurt.  I know I spent long enough dismissing my own pain because of that mentality, and it still gets me sometimes.  And, Hamid, I don’t mean to upset you,” he said as he noticed the tears at the edges of Hamid’s eyes, “I just want you to know that I’m here for you.”

Hamid whipped around a little more intensely than he meant to.  As he did so, Zolf looked down at his hands.

“I mean, we’re allhere for you, but I can’t speak for the others.  I canspeak for me, though, and I wish there was something I could do to help you out, to help you feel more like yourself in this new world.  Or to give you back your prestidigitation, if nothing else.”  He smiled, briefly meeting Hamid’s gaze for a moment and then looking away.

“I think I overheard that you might be staying with Wilde for a while?”  Hamid asked several moments later, choking down a sob.

“Yeah, that’s the, uh, that’s the plan.”

“I might come visit, if that’s alright.”

“Of course.  I mean, it’s Wilde’s place, so you’d have to ask him, but I know I’d be happy to see you.”

Hamid chuckled, “Though, it would only be fair for me to break into his place after he broke into mine, all those years ago.”

“I think I headbutted him?” Zolf said as he scratched the top of his head.

With that, both of them burst out laughing.  “We’ve had a crazy ride, haven’t we?”  Hamid said.

“We have.  And it’s not over yet.  Come visit, or maybe I can come visit you in Cairo.”

Hamid beamed.  “I’d like that.”

“Again, like, if there’s anything I can do…  I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye, but I think I kind of understand what you’re going through, in a way. You’ve lost a part of yourself.”  Zolf gestured to his missing legs. “Not quite the same, of course, but…”

“Thank you, Zolf.  I really appreciate it.  And, obviously, if there’s anything I can do for you…”

“We’ll keep in touch, yeah? Something I want to try and do with everyone, truthfully, since I’ve never been very good at it.”

“You are entirely within your right to say no, but do you think I could give you a hug?”

Zolf rolled his eyes and sighed, but there was a smile on his lips.  “Yeah, alright.”

Hamid lunged forward to embrace Zolf.  Zolf was a bit slower to move his arms around Hamid, patting him on the back as if he still wasn’t quite sure what to do in a hug.  Not wanting to overstay his welcome, Hamid gave a quick squeeze and then drew back, wiping his tears as he did so.

“It’s good to see you again, Zolf.”

“Yeah… I wasn’t sure I was going to come, to be honest, but… I’m glad I did.”

Hamid smiled.  “I’m glad you did too.”

“Knock knock,” Cel called instead of actually knocking on the door.  “Everyone decent?”

Azu chuckled.  “It’s just me.  Come on in.”

Cel stepped inside Azu’s cabin aboard the Venga, clearly trying and failing to hide something behind their back.

“Is everything alright?” Azu asked, even though she could tell from the glee in Cel’s expression that they were not bearing unfortunate news.

“Yes!  I have a gift for you!”  They shoved the box previously half-hidden behind their back into Azu’s face, all the while rocking back and forth on the balls of their feet with barely restrained excitement.

Azu gasped in concern.  “Wait, did I miss a holiday?  I know I get a little confused with days out at sea here… I don’t have anything for you, I’m so sorry, Cel.”

“Pfft, no, it’s nothing like that.  I just wanted to make something nice for you, that’s all.”

“Oh, that’s so kind.” Azu still wanted to apologize for not having anything to offer Cel in return, but instead she reached out and took the box still hovering inches from her nose.

She removed the lid to reveal a pair of work boots colored in a subtle shade of pink.  Azu’s hand flew to her mouth.

“You didn’t…”

“I did!”  Cel exclaimed.  “I know you’re still rocking the pink, but you couldn’t find any good pink boots, so I went ahead and made you some!  I hope they fit; I did sneak into your cabin and measure your other boots one night while you were asleep, so they should fit, but if not, let me know!”

Azu ignored Cel’s admission of sneaking into her cabin – something she and Kiko already suspected after waking up to hearing someone softly humming dramatic music as they crept around the space – and instead sat down to remove her current boots and try on the new set.

The pink wasn’t garish, but it was still poignant enough to reflect Azu’s continuing faith in Aphrodite.  She wiggled her toes and did a couple jumping jacks to test them out, beaming all the while.

“I love them.  Thank you, Cel, this is amazing.”

“I’m so glad you like them!  Can we hug?”

“Of course,” Azu said with a chuckle.

Cel launched themselves into Azu’s arms and gave her a tight squeeze, then stepped back.  “Look at you, turning me into a full-on hugger,” they laughed.  “Anyway, I should probably get back to Sassraa before anything explodes again, but I wanted to get these to you right away.”

They were already exiting the cabin as Azu started to reply, “Thank you again!”  Once Cel disappeared down the hall, Azu sat back down on her bed and held her legs out to examine the boots.

Aphrodite might no longer exist in their world, but the power of her love would always remain, even in the slightest gesture, the most grandiose display, or in the gifting of a pair of pink boots.