#sexualassault
This was taken years ago, when I went into my doctor to get checked out after being assaulted. I took photos, as I always do, to enforce my control over the space where I would be examined; where I would go over what happened and determine whether or not I’d come out with more injuries than I already guessed. I never shared it because some things are for me, and I did not want to give it away.
I’m sharing it today because so many of us have survived, and will keep going. We are here for each other, and don’t need to cut ourselves open to receive support. Our strength is flexible, and looks however we need it to look. You are not doing it wrong as long as you stay alive.
I wish none of us had to go through this.
—
#HospitalGlam #violence #tw #sexualassault #ptsd #invisibleillness #invisibledisability #survivor #metoo
[#imagedescription: I’m disheveled, on the edge of a medical bed in a gyn exam room, gripping the light above me. I am looking into the lens.]
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bom7SJpHufx/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1nypcx87plyn3
Post link
Photo is a Tweet from Wonder Cripple (twitter handle: @wonder_cripple) that reads:
{tw: #SexualAssault}
Can we talk about Bridgerton’s:
-rape scene
-refusal to acknowledge it as a rape scene.
-narrative that venerates the abuser.
-“resolution” that caters to the abuser.
Daphne raped Simon, gaslit him and got away with it. Call it what it is.
#Bridgerton [end of ID]
During the month of July, IWILLESV was given the opportunity to interview River Hayden. IWILLESV member Amanda and River discuss River’s autobiography, The Road to Becoming a Survivor. The book is about a young girl’s experiences of trauma and sexual assault, and the shift from being a victim to becoming a survivor. Tune in below for the full interview!
Amanda: Hi River! Why don’t you start by telling us a little bit about yourself?
River: I’m a 25 year old college drop out who loves theatre, reading, writing (obviously) and playing video games. Netflix is another favorite pastime :)
A: Awesome! So your book is an autobiography, what is it about? What inspired you to write one?
R: It’s about a lot of things, but the main theme is sexual assault, the affects it can have on an individual, and how one can go from being a victim to survivor. My old therapist sort of inspired me to get this started. I’ve wanted to write an autobiography since high school, but she lent me a book called Finding Angela Shelton that really gave me the inspiration to finally take that step and write the autobiography.
A: Since the book is an autobiography, it’s written by you about your life. Has writing about your experiences helped you with the healing process?
R: That’s exactly right. I use my experiences with sexual assault and how it affected me to give readers an example of how it can change your life and what I did to heal and stop being a victim and let the assault have control of my life. It’s about how I overcame the trauma and turned into a survivor. Also about how other aspects of life can change you. For example, I not only talk about my experiences, I discuss how my family treated me and how it added to the trauma and difficulties I faced.
A: Interesting! So you’ve already kind of answered my next question, but what do you hope your readers will gain from it?
R: I hope they will find comfort knowing they are not alone in what they have been through. Just like when I read Finding Angela Shelton, I hope that they can find inspiration to start healing and stop being a victim and letting their past control their present and future. I didn’t write it to make money. I wrote it for my own source of therapy, as well as to help others. That is my goal with the autobiography: simply to help others so they don’t have to suffer alone the way I did.
A: So the book, Finding Angela Shelton, helped you understand what you had gone through. Were there any other books/factors that helped you?
R: Yes, actually. I didn’t realize what I had actually been through until my sophomore year of high school - so I was 15. We had all been gathered into the auditorium for a sexual assault assembly, and even though I knew they were actors telling other people’s stories, it turned the light on in my brain about what I’d been through and what had happened.
A: Interesting. Can you give a brief overview of the book?
R: Well, it is everything from the sexual assault I faced as a child, how it affected my pre-adolescent years through to now, and how it caused me to treat the men I’ve been with. It discusses mental illnesses such as anxiety, depression, dissociative identity disorder and how it connects to every day experiences, as well as things such as acting on stage in a play. I also discuss my mom and how she was mentally abusive and negligent with me. On the other hand, I talk about my grandfather and how much he meant to me; how I lost him at a young age but still miss him as well as my best friend from college dying of a tumor at the age of 22 and how I coped with it. There is a variety of experiences so that readers will be able to relate.
A: So we’ve discussed what you hope your readers will gain, what do you hope to gain from sharing your story?
R: I want to know that I’ve helped people. That is all I want from my book is knowing that I’ve been able to help someone by sharing my story.
A: I can’t wait to read it! When will it be available to readers?
R: Unfortunately my publisher hasn’t given me a definitive date, but it will be released August of 2015! For now it’s only going to available as an eBook, and you’ll be able to by it at scribbcrib.com and amazon. It’s entitled “The Road to Becoming a Survivor.”
A: Great! And how can readers discover more/stay updated on you and you work?
R: Several ways! I have two facebook pages, one for me as an author, https://www.facebook.com/RiverReiHayden, one for the book, https://www.facebook.com/becomingasurvivor, then twitter, https://twitter.com/RiverHayden1,instagram,https://instagram.com/riverrei/, and wordpress (my personal blog), https://wackyworldofriverhayden.wordpress.com/
A: Thanks so much! I look forward to hearing more about your book and reading it myself!
R: Thank you for your time, Amanda!
Keep an eye out for more information on River’s book!
Do you have a film, book, website, etc. you’d like to have promoted? Email manda911@gmail.com!
The very real experience that me and so many other survivors have.
We’re so afraid to speak; what if people don’t believe us, what if they think we wanted it, what if they choose to believe our attacker over us, what if they think we made it up because we don’t have as many details as they want… what if they see me as broken or dirty.
But on the other hand we’re so ashamed because they could do it to somebody else and we didn’t do anything about it.
#metoo #metoomovement #sexualassault #victim #survivor #youarenotalone #ptsdwarrior
https://www.instagram.com/p/B8GJqpRHOSx/?igshid=k7vpyv6nea32
Post link
“HOW I DRESS DOES NOT MEAN YES”
A corset and jumper I made for my pathway project “Then And Now” — (Planning to later use photos for a poster).
Initially, I started looking at how fashion had changed through the ages, but the general history involved within this research inspired me to explore some more feminist movements. I then researched sexual assault cases and the artistic response to them, (one of which being very eye-opening to an often close-minded audience: https://www.boredpanda.com/what-were-you-wearing-sexual-assault-art-exhibition/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic)
This motivated me to make two items of clothing: a tighter fitting, modern corset, as well as a baggy, oversized jumper. Through my work I want to demonstrate how no matter what anyone wears— either gender, they are not asking for “it”.
