#slytheringryffindor
Gryffindor:Slytherin, look, I’m melting butter!
Slytherin:That’s great, Gryffindor. You have now mastered the skills of a hot day.
Ravenclaw: Lesbians! What is your wisdom?
Slytherin:The galaxy is nothing but a cold and cruel wasteland. Our only comfort in life is the warm embrace of our lovers.
Gryffindor:Girls are hot.
Gryffindor: Hitting the gym to release stress is really not as effective as hitting the people who caused the stress.
Ravenclaw:*Backs away slowly*
Slytherin:*Jumps out the window*
Gryffindor:Slytherin, just because a guy talks a lot about a fictional character on a first date doesn’t mean he’s not husband material.
Hufflepuff:Sasquatch isn’t fictional.
Hufflepuff:*whispering to Gryffindor* Gryffindor has no idea I’m high.
Gryffindor:You’re high?
Hufflepuff:I’m sorry.
Hufflepuff: *leaning over to whisper to Slytherin* Gryffindor has no idea I’m high.
Gryffindor: What would you do if you were in my shoes?
Slytherin:First of all, no one should ever be in those shoes.
Slytherin:You’re mad at me.
Gryffindor: I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed.
Slytherin:Oh, come on, everyone knows that’s worse!
Slytherin:Gryffindor?
Gryffindor:How do you always spot me so easily? I want to know your secret!
Ravenclaw:She says ‘Gryffindor’ every five minutes and sometimes you’re actually there, so it gives the illusion that she can see everything.
Gryffindor:Name a famous clown.
Slytherin:Name a famous clown??? Uhhh. Gryffindor.
Gryffindor:Noooo. I’m the whole circus motherfucker!
Slytherin: Why don’t you take off all that battle armour and slip into something a little more… comfortable?
Gryffindor:I am most comfortable when I am impervious to most physical forms of attack.
Hufflepuff:We aren’t mad, we’re just disappointed.
Slytherin:No, we are mad.
Hufflepuff:Yes, we are. We are livid. But we’re going to let this one slide.
Gryffindor:Thank you.
Slytherin:No, we are not.
Hufflepuff: I’m not a mind reader, Slytherin.