Red

as I stick my hand into a newly opened bag of M&Ms, a part of me I like to pretend doesn’t exist hopes to pull out the color red.

I know that inside they’re all the same sweet, cheap chocolate

that made Mars Inc. rich,

but like a weed that leaves its roots behind, something so deeply lodged inside my mind my bare hands cannot pry it loose suggests, 

so quietly most of the time I forget to notice, 

that red is best,

better than any other color in the bag,

for no reason other than it happens to the uninvited guest that has so rudely imprinted itself into the back of my eye, glaring like the flag at a bullfight,

and I wonder why my tastebuds cheer the color red,

red of blood,of gunshot wounds in chocolate skin undeserved,

served by those charged to protect,

the red of anger aimed at every other color,

the scream of silence as the trigger is pulled

red,

the color splashed across the headlines of CNN

when yet another life has been slammed shut before the last page, because of the color of the cover,

red,

the red of my own lips, partedas my throat tries to open and let words pass,

but finds that it is too tight,

because underneath the red on the M&M is a white candy shell,

so easily crushed

between the teeth of a nation that feeds discrimination and makes it great again,

where cruelty trumps kindness,

and walls border more than our minds,

and red, the red that catches my eye when I hang my head in shame, painted onto my nails, a concoction of corrosive chemicals that harden when exposed to the light and air,

and red,the red that I have been infected with, the disease

coursing through my veins,  that seeps out when my wrists are sliced open.

Now, as I stare at the red M&M in my hand, sticky from being rubbed between my fingers,

I realize that maybe I’m only one person, but each ocean begins with a single drop. I let the red M&M fall to the floor, and watch it fade,

 then reach into the bag again. 

this time I close my eyes.  

Recognized as one of the most popular Asian face in the slam poetry community, Alex Luu is a poet who has created poems with thousands of Youtube hits. As the founder of USC Spoken Words Club, he is actively involved in the renowned Def Poetry, USC Slam Poetry, and USC Spoken Words Club. As modern day technology goes, while he was driving his car in the depths of LA traffic, and I was sitting in my dorm room overlooking Washington Square Park in NYC, we “sat down” to chat via Skype about his poetry inspiration and story.  

Q: What does slam poetry do?

For me, the function of slam poetry is to tell my personal truth/story/narrative. It is to speak on behalf of people who don’t have the privilege as I do. It is to speak my culture, civilization and history.

Q: Why did you choose to do spoken word?

I actually wanted to be a rapper [laughes] but I didn’t find talent in that. Then I found spoken word. To me, poetry is the cleanest form of expression. It is someone deliberately giving truth to the audience. When I first started, I wrote about love, personal relationships and mental illnesses. It was a process of understanding myself.

Q: Why did you invest yourself in this particular niche market of slam poetry?

I never had the idea of hitting a niche market. I did it because this median [of poetry] offered such a raw, honest emotion. But there are definitely some poets who go up on stage and share problematic poetry, because these poets are using stories that don’t belong to them. For example, when a white poet attempts to talk about black oppression, he/she is talking about racism that he/she has never understood nor experienced. Another example, there was a poet who talked about her sister’s mental issue; she could be exaggerating it or claiming victimhood. And it is obvious and easy to tell if the story belongs to you. This kind of reclamation poetry, where a lot of people say “you can’t write about that topic unless you have been traumatized” is harmful for poetry culture. People are too constrained into this characterization of suffering artists. There are also honest poets whose performance is raw and genuinely happy. The slam poetry circle is a safe space where everyone is innocent till proven guilty, nobody will doubt you until you give them reasons to. To put it simply, all poetry is true.”

Q: Poetry is so personal and different; how would you justify making it into a competition?

Slam poetry competitions provide a space where poets from all over the world come to be vulnerable and tell their stories. It provides a way to voice their stories. Like a dance competition, judge’s opinion is subjective. How they allocate the points is completely different. There is no way to quantify in any medium. But competition brings a great side, when people think of slam competition, they will think too much of it as a battle. Yes, people are in it to win it, but they are willing to give it up to people who deserve to be on stage, too. It is a privilege and honor to be on stage. Competition is also a great platform to connect and create networks, which could lead to collaboration.

Q: Who is your biggest inspiration?

Beau Sia. He’s the first Asian American spoken word artist I saw on Def Poetry Jam. I have never seen an Asian man being that loud and proud on stage. He is the confirmation of Asian existence on stage. Additionally, my coach introduced me to Gee Yamasawa. He is a rapper and a spoken words artist. My coach said that he sees parallel between Gee and I, which I am very flattered about.”

Q: What are you working on currently?

Currently, I am working on a group piece about Asian masculinity issues. It is inspired by the toxic masculinity from my father’s side. I am working with Jessica Roma, who will be telling the story from a girl’s perspective while I tell the story from a guy’s perspective. In the past I’ve written poems that have touched on a lot of different topics, many were group pieces. The poems that seem to really speak to the audience more are topics on Asian identity (“The Letter”, “Time Talks”, “Intro”) and white washing (“Hollywood”). 

Q: Why are you quitting competition?

It is a lot of work… And I am still learning how to be a slam poet. I want to spend the next two years building my poetry skills, focusing on the artistry and continuing pushing poetry at USC. I founded the first spoken word group in USC 2 years ago. We host weekly poetry workshop where I am the one who teaches it. We find guys for different gigs and venues and expose people to the art of spoken words.

Q: How do you make sure you don’t twist the story or the voice?

It depends on what story you pick upon. For example, me as an Asian man can speak on behalf of an immigrant dad. I did not personally experience the immigration. I’m not talking about their story as my own oppression, but speaking as a witness of what my father has gone through. There is a nuance to the perspectives.

Q: What poets would you recommend to the readers of Generasian and poets?

I definitely recommend poets to look up poets of color like Danez Smith andPaul Tran. Slam poetry originated from a person of color, yet sadly it’s being overcome by white poets. Too often we see white poets that are dominating the scene. If the poets want to diverse their stories, they need to look up diverse stories. 

Q: How do you explain the black dominance in slam poetry?

Black people are prominent and powerful in this circle. However, even with black poets the most viewed poems on Youtube are mostly 200,000. But if you look up popular white poets like Neal. He gets a couple million. And Sierra K gets a couple million as well.This depends on who are the people looking for poetry videos on Youtube. The majority of the audience is white. And they tend to find stories that are relatable, stories told by white poets. There is a huge difference in terms of viewership. Poets of color are being overshadowed by white poets because more audience tend to watch videos of white poets. From a business standpoint, it comes down to the rest of the society, we can only change so little of the society. We can put 80% color 20% white online, society still value more relatable topics, but regular poetry that white poets can cater to. The society needs to be more accepting of the fact that people of color are just as great as white poets. They are just as talented, and deserve to be praised.

Q: What does the future of Asian Americans in the poetry scene look like?

Same as anyone who wants to pursue the art role, Asian artists should be able to pursue whatever they want to do. We can tell the Asian people to talk about whatever they want to talk about, not necessarily just in slam poetry. I just wish for more Asian people in art in general. Like in the entertainment industry, we can be romantic leads, a hot boyfriend without cultural reference. I hope that we can be Asians who simply exist.