A narcissistic abuse tip that helped me in life and in sugaring

If you’ve ever been in a narcissistic relationship it is one of the most emotionally distressing relationships you will ever be in. Trauma eliciting.

One of the main things narcissists will do is try to find out early what you like and dislike. This is how they get you. They alter themselves to be your perfect match then rip you apart later on.

So if any guy asks you what you like or dislike, what your perfect match is DO NOT TELL HIM. Give a vague answer.

“Depends on the person, what I like in one may not be what I like in an other”

“Why don’t you be yourself and I’ll tell you if I like you”

Let them weed themselves out. Works every time

Get their number

I recently saw a post about someone asking if Snapchat was a reliable source of communication. To those who are married, I get it. But how the HELL can you verify a Snapchat account? What if this SD is a rapist or a time waster?!

The amount of times a real number has SAVED me from meeting up with potential guys who are scammers, time wasters and abusers…. Geez. If they made an app similar to the one I use but also was able to look up screen names for Snapchat, I’d be all for it.

Young SD?

I’m not going to hold my breath but I found a younger SD who ACTUALLY believes in allowances.

Recently I’ve decided to give the young guys a chance. My mistake. I always hear the same exact bullshit.

“I don’t need to be on here…. I’m an attractive guy… I don’t need to pay for sex” cry me a river then and go on Hinge.

Don’t sign up for an SD site and not expect to pay for it. Lol JUST SAYING.

Makes a decent living but we’ll see what his expectations are

P.s. Anyone in their 20, 30 and early 40s is what I consider young

What a clusterfuck of dates

The WORST part of being an SB for a living is finding someone new. The countless amount of dates you go on. Most of them can’t afford you, so you went to dinner to get fed and get through a date.

Spring training is very active where I am and yes, I could make a shitload of money off these guys wanting short term arrangements. But it’s a short term arrangement that got me raped so….. I’m scarred. Not to mention, I’m an STD freak. One night is not worth a week or two of antibiotics and a fishy pussy. Yes, condoms are a thing but I’ve been burned in the past and I wore protection.

Either way, I look for long term. I have had THE WORST luck lately. Cannot find what I’m looking for. Even if the allowance is right, the man was not.

I haven’t written so many reports on the screening app we use in a long time. Damn.

You do eventually get sick and tired of this lifestyle

There are many highs… but there are many lows.

Today is one of my lows. Where I want to cry. Where I’m sick of relying on someone else to keep my head above water or waiting for a man to buy me something expensive.

Once you get into this lifestyle, it’s SO HARD to get out. It’s like a drug. Seriously.

I was out with some girls where being an SB came up. I will forever tell anyone who asks or inquires about being an SB to NEVER DO IT.

I do wish I never got into this lifestyle. No one told me the long term damage this lifestyle has on you. I don’t think anyone knew in the time of Tumblr OG lol.

Every time I want to get out, use the money to invest in other things, my SD falls through lol it’s so annoying.

Being an SB has given me such a good lifestyle and memories but it’s tiring… I want to date whoever, pay for my own shit without worry.

Sorry for the rant… Tumblr has always been my SB diary… the good and the bad.

I really want a podcast talking about all this shit… OMG

Never be desperate to sugar

I have one of three (now two SDs) because tonight one of them just hasn’t been definitive lately. I asked when I was going to see him and it was never a straight answer.

Tonight he asked me what I’m up to. I say nothing much. He asked when I’m going to see him.

I was kind of annoyed by this question because I had told him before to let me know when his schedule was free. Then he goes, “you sound salty”

*narrows eyes*

It’s 830 at night and he has the audacity to go, “I’m free if you want to see me”

I debate because the ppm is 800 which isn’t bad but something in my guy just doesn’t feel right about this.

So I tell him that basically and block him.

Meanwhile my 8k whale always asks at the end of the date when he’s going to see me.

Looking into equipment

I have so much to say I think a podcast would be great! Hopefully soon, stay tuned

There are men who have everything and won’t give you shit

Learn to recognize these men and RUN.

I’ve encountered these men a few times throughout my years of sugaring. It sucks.

One has kind of come back (or is trying) to come back. We met on SA but I soon came to find out, he just wanted a companion to wipe his tears to get over his last gf.

He got me into a really cool sport, but I had to keep telling him that I can’t spend these weekends with him if he doesn’t help me. I stayed way longer than I should.

We talked about the past and I brought this up to him. To which he replied, “I would have gotten you anything you sent me a link to…. I did get you things” (yeah some yoga pants and some boots… big whoop)

I asked if he wanted to hang out again to which he said yes since things have changed, the ex is gone etc.

SO I’m going to test the waters.

I sent him a link to a Dyson Airwrap. I sent that link 3 hours ago. Hasn’t replied. Thus, once again, he’s just full of shit.

Sometimes I can’t stop

I can be a horrible glutton for punishment sometimes. Sometimes what I have is never enough, especially when it comes to rich men.

I have my 8k allowance guy, and two other ones which equates to another 5k.

Well, an old relationship came back… who I met on the site but he never gave me anything but he did get me into an awesome sport. Well, I found out that he’s secretly a bitcoin billionaire and makes a TON of residuals from his software.

ON TOP OF THAT, I managed to flirt with Showoff SD… because I saw the private jet on his way to Mexico.. and caught his attention again…. <- I’m regretting that decision. But I just like knowing I can snag him over all his Barbie blonde girls lol it’s a conquest.

Honestly I think the inflation, war and everything becoming so expensive is freaking me out and I’m looking for any kind of financial security if shit hits the fan.

Snagged my Whale

He adores me. Hoping to invest this money HARD CORE into my life so I can finally exit. I’m ready to be a multimillionaire who travels the world at my free will. No men, just me.

Update on the Showoff Whale

I couldn’t snag him. I wish.

He’s addicted to drama and super Barbie blondes. Well, that’s just the opposite of me. I’m also sweet, kind and I communicate very effectively. Maybe I texted too much. ‍♀️

We had a fun few weeks, he invited me to Cabo with his two girls who just adored me. I honestly thought I had him. I satisfied all his needs, physically everything was great. I even made him nervous and self conscious. Lol

So, him spending a weekend with his ex doesn’t surprise me. He’s used to her, maybe isn’t intimidating for him, who knows.

If you give a guy everything he could ask for and he still leaves? Honey, it’s not you, I promise. Some guys just struggle internally. Sometimes your standards make them have to work to be a better man and they don’t want to abs it happens.

BUT one man’s she’s too good for me, isn’t another man’s “she’s everything I’m looking for”

Which totally happened later. Went on a date, we had an AMAZING time, he offered 8k a month. Uh, yes please. So… bye Mr. Showoff! Hello to my new whale and sponsor.

This DOSEN’T EXIST

Do you know how many of us, especially, especially men who are FED UP with these TikTok girls spewing this bullshit?

“I make 5-10k a month without sleeping with my sugar daddy…..:buy my course all I’ll show you how”

Oh. My. God.

Now in RARE instances have I actually seen this happen with someone I used to follow. She’s deactivated but still.

It doesn’t exist. I don’t know how much I have to preach this. They make money off your views and stupid courses that aren’t even real.

You might get short term, sure. But the long term, the real 5 figure monthly allowances COMES WITH SEX. Sorry dear.

Do NOT work under your SD

On Reddit I saw many posts, including my own that asked if you could work under your SD.

Majority ruled a hard NO. Now I know why.

This SD has been my hardest because he is so different from me culturally. I love me some small Asian penis, however I realized I prefer a more Americanized one. He’s very authentic to his culture still. Totally okay I’m just not used to it.

He’s trying to put me in a position within his company that suits me both however, work me and personal me are two DIFFERENT people. Work me is overly gracious, kind, work for hours on end to get the job done etc. Personal me, is a sarcastic asshole with a bitchy attitude if you piss me off. Otherwise I’m still kind and funny.

My personality works differently though, I’m a chameleon. It changes with the environment and who I’m with. My SD is very stone walled, poker face, monotone… I’m surprised when I get a laugh. So naturally I’m more quiet and well, if he pisses me off, he gets the bitch… hangry. Lol

The point I’m trying to make here is that it’s hard to differentiate the working relationship and the personal relationship… even though I’ve had a conversation with him about it, he doesn’t understand…

Trying to dot my I’s and cross my T’s and keep my mouth shut…

The valet knows you’re a working girl

Last night I ended up going to a ritzy hotel in my area because a friend of mine was playing for a private party until 9. Desperate to socialize with him, I decided to go to the outside bar and wait. There’s a conference full of men also outside with another band.

I was a little reluctant because I’m the only 20 something , pretty girl, sitting alone at a bar. After about 20 minutes I could see this group of guys eyeing me. I knew they were making bets to try and talking to me. After another 20 minutes, liquid courage hits and one of them does.

The group of guys were from NY/Jersey celebrating the birthday of the guy who came up to me. Boy, we’re they in for it with me. Lol Little did they know I can speak their accent better than they can and give them shit like a man. They were all in their 40s and early 50s and all married…. Of course. Remember when I told you cheating was the norm here? If your man travels to my city… beware.

Regardless the drinks and conversation were flowing but one of them was convinced I was free-styling. I laughed because obviously he’s not completely wrong but denied all night because I was there truly for my friend, not them.

The night ends, my friend saves me and we get talking to the valet. I tip really well and tell him the laughs of the evening. This guy tells me stories of him knowing the working girls who frequent; they’ll go as far as parking your car up front so you can get away easily and how guys will call down after their watch is stolen

Moral of the story : Tip anyone well enough and you can get away with anything

If you showed your texts, how many men would be considered cheaters?… all of them.

Dear fucking Cheesus…. I swear to the heaven above..

I CANNOT deal with the men where ***I’m from*** ALL of them cheat, ALL OF THEM have a side bitch or will fuck around and get back together with their ex in a matter of days.

This is why in the end, GET YOUR BAG. That’s all that matters.

I was talking to a friend of mine but he was texting a mushy… he had just broken up with his girl “she’s a good girl but not for me”

“I was so unhappy” “good morning beautiful, can’t wait to hang out”

Nope. They’re back together. Lol imagine that.

Another guy, “me and my girl broke up… but don’t repeat that to anyone….. I think you’re so hot I’ve wanted to get with you forever” still posts about her on IG.

My recent POTSD?! His “ex” hasn’t even moved out of the house yet.

****Again, clarifying where I’m from. West coast. This is the norm here.

Don’t let an SD in your house

I’m on a plane back home and this pilot guy I saw came to mind. Total liar about who he was, scammer.. the whole 9.

My mistake is that I let this guy IN TO MY HOUSE.

Your house/apartment/ wherever you stay is YOUR sanctuary. This isn’t for memories of some jackass who screwed you over. Otherwise, you’ll forever have an imprinted image of this person in your house. Your house is no longer safe but filled with bad memories of these men.

Also, for safety reasons please keep these guys away. Don’t let them help you move or come over and do something… just trust me on this one.

Private Jet

Sorry, I realized I eluded to this experience without telling you about it later.

Not too long ago I made a stupid decision to have a trip with a POTSD and his friends just so I could fly private for the first time. It was only overnight, how bad could it be?

Regardless I was nervously excited. My biggest concern was that this was a smaller plane to which my nausea and I.. would just about die.

Pros :

No TSA

No waiting to board a plane - drive right up and get on

Good food

Squishy seats

Cons

Small (6 passenger plane.. definitely recommended flying a bigger one)

Turbulence SUCKED…

Plane wasn’t big enough for flight attendants

You might have to sit backwards..

Regardless, I wasn’t overly impressed with private but I’ve heard bigger planes make ALL the difference

I’ve started to really hate sex

So much that I’m almost avoiding it as an SB, even if I like my SD. I don’t crave it, I cringe knowing they want it. I’m the type of person who can only take once a day… if that. Past trauma just causes tightness and pain down there.

I get annoyed when I set boundaries and they gaslight me.”Oh, cmon, it doesn’t hurt. You’re not sore”

Meanwhile this guy was circling his hips inside me stretching my vagina way out of capacity… wtf. Who taught guys this shit?!

Moral of the story : If you can afford to take a break, do so. This life can be so draining on your physical and mental health. Get a boyfriend - seriously. Someone you can have an emotional connection and enjoy sex.

The prep

If you’ve ever been an SB, you’ve done “the prep” before an overnight, a trip or maybe even just a date.

The prep includes the mental mindset you need to get into before going. A lot of that time it includes doing nothing, maybe eating your favorite meal, stuffing yourself with chocolate, cleaning your house… whatever.

I’m about to go on my first overnight with my POTSD and have our first intimate encounter. Ugh. Double whammy. Oh! And I’ll be flying on a Private Jet for the first time…. I get sick easily.

Being an SB can be very mentally exhausting. Especially when you’re going to be intimate with someone who’s MUCH older than you. Despite the chemistry out of the bedroom, in bedroom chemistry is a WHOLE different ballgame.

I’ve been cuddling my cat, cleaning my house.. and just laying on my couch… lol

Reddit made me a nasty person

I just deleted it. I was obsessed with the drama and commenting. Granted, my comments were never awful but maybe it made me too pretentious and rude in person because I was used to hiding against a screen.

I don’t know I have just felt off. Definitely need to reflect on my inner self for a bit. Realign.