Med school has been trying to end your girl’s life. I’ve been so busy with so much on my plate but I HAD to record an episode this week. I’ve been really missing all the Tumblr fun and this lifestyle. I’ll also be trying to catch up on the asks this week.
This week’s episode focuses on wealth creation:
Different methods and testimonials to help you take charge of your finances and life goals
Balancing many different aspects of life can get overwhelming, especially when you factor in sugar dating. In this episode we’ll put together a list that can make it easier to balance and enjoy every aspect of your life.
Top Luxury Inspiring Accounts You Need On Your Feed!
On this episode of The Top List, we’re going to go through my list of top 10 Luxury Inspiring Accounts to Follow for the level up journey. This week we have supporting visuals, so be sure to check out the video that accompanies today’s episode.
So what happens when you’re getting a steady allowance and you want to take your sugar money to try and advance yourself in life? Society hates SWers and women who use their body, looks, personality to make money so be prepared for that. I’m in the process of trying to purchase property and have hit some roadblocks with my lender.
Finding out that my whore moneyisn’t good enough to get me approved for a mortgage Now I have to push back my timeline for buying a home while I “make legit money” is probably one of the most frustrating things to happen to me lately. I’m just fortunate enough to have parents that support me and will help legitimize my money. Do y’all want me to document this homebuying process? I feel like this may be a common problem SBs and other SWers may face when trying to get loans, mortgages, etc.
The allowance and/or camming money can be saved and used for down payments but you’ll still need a “legit” job with a steady paycheck coming in every month to get a bank approval. After talking with my lender, I learned that even having a steady income from camming isn’t good enough to get a mortgage approval unless you’ve been doing it for a year and even still it’s considered freelance money so lenders are less likely to feel comfortable approving you for a loan So my suggestion is have a “normal” job in addition to SW money always.
If it’s hourly you’ll need to have the job for 1 year.
If it’s salaried then at least 6 months.
I used to have a legit job with a boss I hated but when covid hit I took the opportunity to leave and channel my inner whore to make money at my leisure which was so great and easy for me to balance school with.
It’s so frustrating that in 2021 women can’t do what the fuck they want or have to explain why they’re doing what they want with their own life and body. The upside to all this is that I’ll have a lot more money saved for a bigger down payment and better mortgage loan rates when it comes time to fill the application. Trying to stay the course and keep positive while the Universe works her magick in my life.
I put together a guided meditation for this bonus episode, as requested. Guided meditations are a great way to keep up with our wellness goals. Healthy mind = success at securing more bags. Look within to reap the benefits of what’s around you
We’ll also talk about common feelings that can manifest due to the highs/lows of life and how to adjust to them.
Sugaring, classes, work, and just life in general can get exhausting. Mental health is critical for manifesting and creating a life you love living. Join me while we go through some self care and wellness strategies:
Affirmations
Mindfulness activities
How to create and incorporate a self-care routine
Pro tip: subscribe to luxury magazines for more visual vibe enhancement. My favorites are Veranada, House Beautiful, AD (Architectural Digest), and Elle Decor
⚠ Trigger warning: This episode covers topics about domestic violence and my personal experience with abuse. You don’t want to miss this seasons finale. Talking about traumas is difficult but necessary in the healing process. Hopefully my personal experiences will help someone who may be going through something similar.
I found out my ex listens to my podcast so it made recording this episode very difficult and I had been putting it off for so long..
End of the Year Reflection/Saying Goodbye To Sugar Dating
I meant to post this before the year ended but dating in med school has been incredibly demanding! I had a fling with a millie (one day I will meet my billie). I actually had to retake my block 2 exam because I was so wrapped up in the money I’ll record a podcast episode about it soon but for now here’s my reflection on last year and what I’m looking forward to in the future!
When I started this blog I was a newbie in the bowl. Had no idea what sugaring really took. Didn’t even realize the difficulties I would face as a brown sugar baby. Thought it would be so easy… I’m so grateful for all the experiences good and bad because they are part of my story. This year I really wanted to take my experiences to the next level. I was able to purchase an investment property with my sugar sis, start med school, elevate my business, had a wonderful sugar daddy, start healing from past traumas & forgive myselffor staying in an abusive relationships for so long (still very much a work in progress). I love counting my blessings because it reminds me of how far I’ve come and excites me about what has yet to come.
I love sharing my experiences and connecting with so many people who enjoy the same lifestyle and mental frequency. That being said, I’m saying goodbye to sugaring. I feel I’m at a point in my life where I am ready for the next chapter. Sugaring has been so helpful in getting me where I need to be but it’s time to transition. I talk about hypergamy often, and it just seems like a more appropriate setting for me now. My experiences in the sugar bowl have really taught me a lot about men and the dynamics between men + women.
I have a few upcoming trips planned where I will have the opportunity to be around affluent people with millions/billions of dollars. I’ll still continue to document my journey because I’m sure it’ll be a wild ride. If you’re interested in hearing more about my decision and the reasons behind it, check put my podcast! The season finale episode is up now.
Unfortunately I have to change the set up of my episodes. The sugar/hypergamy related episodes will be available on my public platform until the start of season 2, and then I will be moving them to a private podcast space. It will still be on Brown Sugar Doc, The Podcast but limited access. This decision was made after a few classmates bombarded me at a party about a sugar date I went on. It was very bizarre but a necessary lesson learned. So to protect my sanity I’ll be continuing to document all things hypergamy related on my private podcast. I’ll still post on my regular pod but for the hypergamy listeners, I’ll continue the journey exclusively for us.
I love everyone who has joined me at any point on this journey. More to come!
This week we’re discussing labels. How the concept of identity goes hand in hand with creating your own reality. Does identity influence the way that we view and experience the world? Plus, a wellness check in and update about hypergamous dating while in medical school. If you tune in, let me know what you think!
You don’t want to miss this week’s episode about mindful communication strategies! We’ll also dive deeper and discuss topics of professionalism, how the term is changing, and where sex work falls in this change. Be open minded and see if any of your held perceptions are challenged.
Impacts when we don’t communicate mindfully
Professionalisms evolution over time
OnlyFans and sex work censorship
New era dating and terms
Reflection questions
It’s great to be posting again! My inbox is flooded with asks that I can’t wait to answer. Still getting settled into the new city but things are going great. Med school is busy af but finally finding a bit of a balance. Thinking of camming again until I build a solid roster here. Probably do an episode in the near future about it
In this episode we’ll discuss the bookSugar Baby Hypnosis by George Hutton. It takes a look into some mental hypnosis and mind control techniques. We’ll analyze one of the most interesting and mysterious organs: the brain!
We’ll also take a look at the role business and economics play in modern day relationships. Whether you are single and trying to find creative ways to influence people to do your bidding or you are in a relationship and can’t seem to get your guy to listen and do the things you want, you won’t want to miss this insightful episode!
Using the art and science of language to get what you want
Dr. Milton Erickson’s subconscious mind model
Economics, trade, and cost in relationships
Desires of men and women differ
Using the law of scarcity and fear of abandonment to hook your target
Get anybody to do anything with Carnegie’s Golden Rule
Business minded decisions in relationships
How the human brain works in piecing memories together
Embedded commands and right handed gestures
If you enjoy the episode and want to read the book for yourself, you can get a free copy from the ebook library on my website. Sign up as a subscriber (free membership tier)
Whether you’re sugar dating or vanilla dating, manipulation tactics are often used by both parties. This week’s episode takes a look into some of the most common manipulation tactics men use in the dating game.From personal experiences, accounts of other women, and even the men themselves I’ve compiled a list of the top male manipulation tactics. See if you can spot any of these tactics that may have been used on you in the past or that you’ve seen happen:
Texting endlessly with no real plans to meet
Asking for pics
Trying to get you to pick something cheap on the menu
Buying nice things to throw it in your face during an argument
Lovebombing
Lowering your expectations
“Leaving” without any real intention to leave
Backhanded compliments
P.S. I’ve just launched a few Self Development Courses (1 free course for Insiders and 7-day free trial for Subscribers before I make it available to the public for purchase!). If interested register on my website hereorshoot me an email and you will receive info about the course description, layout, and registration:
Balancing many different aspects of life can get overwhelming, especially when you factor in sugar dating. In this episode we’ll put together a list that can make it easier to balance and enjoy every aspect of your life.
Let’s see what this person replies. I’m doubtful about what he says and who he says he is simply because of his username. He says he’s a CEO of a medical company and if he tries to be salty I’ll just throw him back into the ocean.
I’m at a new stage in life where when it comes to dating I have no issues weeding out the boys who reveal themselves quickly to be misogynistic, narcissistic, etc.
I have gotten to know some great men as of lately and something I wasn’t prepared for was having to reject good men because our values or nonnegotiables do not align. I knew it was coming but nothing could’ve prepared me for it.
There is one in particular who is a total provider and protector and things were going great for a while. Everyone is charmed by him and he is gentle and sweet and is always catering to me in romantic ways. As I continued to peel the layers back of his personality I’ve come to realize that his original claims of wanting to be traditional are not true. He’s made side comments about children before marriage because some of his friends have done it so it’s “normalized” now. I simply can’t stand these views and do not want to be associated with his circle of friends even if they’re successful monetarily. In my eyes they are some sort of cancer spreading these modern ways that don’t benefit women. He’s done nothing wrong so having to break things off with him is going to be confusing for a lot of people. It’s not that I haven’t done it before, I was a little more invested with him than others and he was on the right track for a long time. I feel shitty ending things with someone so good to me and I have to remind myself that I deserve much more. I mostly hear about women ending things with men who have hurt them but in this case he hasn’t hurt me at all. I’ve just realized that there is no point in continuing to see him. On some level I feel that breaking things off with a good person is harder than someone who has done you wrong because at least then the reason is more motivating. I need to learn how to detach in a different way then I have before.
I’m debating wether to have social media again or not. I love the privacy I have had for the past two years but lately I have been reading about the importance of socialization and how it is important for health. I even keep seeing posts on Tumblr about it so it’s making me think that’s a sign I should not ignore. I do have a social life but it is mainly fitness related and a bit business related. I’m starting to realize that I may be limiting myself and that I can expand my network if I don’t keep to myself to an extreme like I usually do. Maybe there is a balance I can discover and still be happily private while participating in social media. I’m thinking a great example of this would be Lori Harvey and keep my mystery. Maybe deleting my social media and taking a break to reset and reassess my public appearance was meant to happen so that I could get to this point? I’ve learned to categorize people because of this and set clear (low)expectations for people and I have been much happier because of it.
A narcissistic abuse tip that helped me in life and in sugaring
If you’ve ever been in a narcissistic relationship it is one of the most emotionally distressing relationships you will ever be in. Trauma eliciting.
One of the main things narcissists will do is try to find out early what you like and dislike. This is how they get you. They alter themselves to be your perfect match then rip you apart later on.
So if any guy asks you what you like or dislike, what your perfect match is DO NOT TELL HIM. Give a vague answer.
“Depends on the person, what I like in one may not be what I like in an other”
“Why don’t you be yourself and I’ll tell you if I like you”
I recently saw a post about someone asking if Snapchat was a reliable source of communication. To those who are married, I get it. But how the HELL can you verify a Snapchat account? What if this SD is a rapist or a time waster?!
The amount of times a real number has SAVED me from meeting up with potential guys who are scammers, time wasters and abusers…. Geez. If they made an app similar to the one I use but also was able to look up screen names for Snapchat, I’d be all for it.
The WORST part of being an SB for a living is finding someone new. The countless amount of dates you go on. Most of them can’t afford you, so you went to dinner to get fed and get through a date.
Spring training is very active where I am and yes, I could make a shitload of money off these guys wanting short term arrangements. But it’s a short term arrangement that got me raped so….. I’m scarred. Not to mention, I’m an STD freak. One night is not worth a week or two of antibiotics and a fishy pussy. Yes, condoms are a thing but I’ve been burned in the past and I wore protection.
Either way, I look for long term. I have had THE WORST luck lately. Cannot find what I’m looking for. Even if the allowance is right, the man was not.
I haven’t written so many reports on the screening app we use in a long time. Damn.
You do eventually get sick and tired of this lifestyle
There are many highs… but there are many lows.
Today is one of my lows. Where I want to cry. Where I’m sick of relying on someone else to keep my head above water or waiting for a man to buy me something expensive.
Once you get into this lifestyle, it’s SO HARD to get out. It’s like a drug. Seriously.
I was out with some girls where being an SB came up. I will forever tell anyone who asks or inquires about being an SB to NEVER DO IT.
I do wish I never got into this lifestyle. No one told me the long term damage this lifestyle has on you. I don’t think anyone knew in the time of Tumblr OG lol.
Every time I want to get out, use the money to invest in other things, my SD falls through lol it’s so annoying.
Being an SB has given me such a good lifestyle and memories but it’s tiring… I want to date whoever, pay for my own shit without worry.
Sorry for the rant… Tumblr has always been my SB diary… the good and the bad.
I really want a podcast talking about all this shit… OMG
I have one of three (now two SDs) because tonight one of them just hasn’t been definitive lately. I asked when I was going to see him and it was never a straight answer.
Tonight he asked me what I’m up to. I say nothing much. He asked when I’m going to see him.
I was kind of annoyed by this question because I had told him before to let me know when his schedule was free. Then he goes, “you sound salty”
*narrows eyes*
It’s 830 at night and he has the audacity to go, “I’m free if you want to see me”
I debate because the ppm is 800 which isn’t bad but something in my guy just doesn’t feel right about this.
So I tell him that basically and block him.
Meanwhile my 8k whale always asks at the end of the date when he’s going to see me.
There are men who have everything and won’t give you shit
Learn to recognize these men and RUN.
I’ve encountered these men a few times throughout my years of sugaring. It sucks.
One has kind of come back (or is trying) to come back. We met on SA but I soon came to find out, he just wanted a companion to wipe his tears to get over his last gf.
He got me into a really cool sport, but I had to keep telling him that I can’t spend these weekends with him if he doesn’t help me. I stayed way longer than I should.
We talked about the past and I brought this up to him. To which he replied, “I would have gotten you anything you sent me a link to…. I did get you things” (yeah some yoga pants and some boots… big whoop)
I asked if he wanted to hang out again to which he said yes since things have changed, the ex is gone etc.
SO I’m going to test the waters.
I sent him a link to a Dyson Airwrap. I sent that link 3 hours ago. Hasn’t replied. Thus, once again, he’s just full of shit.
I can be a horrible glutton for punishment sometimes. Sometimes what I have is never enough, especially when it comes to rich men.
I have my 8k allowance guy, and two other ones which equates to another 5k.
Well, an old relationship came back… who I met on the site but he never gave me anything but he did get me into an awesome sport. Well, I found out that he’s secretly a bitcoin billionaire and makes a TON of residuals from his software.
ON TOP OF THAT, I managed to flirt with Showoff SD… because I saw the private jet on his way to Mexico.. and caught his attention again…. <- I’m regretting that decision. But I just like knowing I can snag him over all his Barbie blonde girls lol it’s a conquest.
Honestly I think the inflation, war and everything becoming so expensive is freaking me out and I’m looking for any kind of financial security if shit hits the fan.
He adores me. Hoping to invest this money HARD CORE into my life so I can finally exit. I’m ready to be a multimillionaire who travels the world at my free will. No men, just me.
He’s addicted to drama and super Barbie blondes. Well, that’s just the opposite of me. I’m also sweet, kind and I communicate very effectively. Maybe I texted too much. ♀️
We had a fun few weeks, he invited me to Cabo with his two girls who just adored me. I honestly thought I had him. I satisfied all his needs, physically everything was great. I even made him nervous and self conscious. Lol
So, him spending a weekend with his ex doesn’t surprise me. He’s used to her, maybe isn’t intimidating for him, who knows.
If you give a guy everything he could ask for and he still leaves? Honey, it’s not you, I promise. Some guys just struggle internally. Sometimes your standards make them have to work to be a better man and they don’t want to abs it happens.
BUT one man’s she’s too good for me, isn’t another man’s “she’s everything I’m looking for”
Which totally happened later. Went on a date, we had an AMAZING time, he offered 8k a month. Uh, yes please. So… bye Mr. Showoff! Hello to my new whale and sponsor.
On Reddit I saw many posts, including my own that asked if you could work under your SD.
Majority ruled a hard NO. Now I know why.
This SD has been my hardest because he is so different from me culturally. I love me some small Asian penis, however I realized I prefer a more Americanized one. He’s very authentic to his culture still. Totally okay I’m just not used to it.
He’s trying to put me in a position within his company that suits me both however, work me and personal me are two DIFFERENT people. Work me is overly gracious, kind, work for hours on end to get the job done etc. Personal me, is a sarcastic asshole with a bitchy attitude if you piss me off. Otherwise I’m still kind and funny.
My personality works differently though, I’m a chameleon. It changes with the environment and who I’m with. My SD is very stone walled, poker face, monotone… I’m surprised when I get a laugh. So naturally I’m more quiet and well, if he pisses me off, he gets the bitch… hangry. Lol
The point I’m trying to make here is that it’s hard to differentiate the working relationship and the personal relationship… even though I’ve had a conversation with him about it, he doesn’t understand…
Trying to dot my I’s and cross my T’s and keep my mouth shut…
Last night I ended up going to a ritzy hotel in my area because a friend of mine was playing for a private party until 9. Desperate to socialize with him, I decided to go to the outside bar and wait. There’s a conference full of men also outside with another band.
I was a little reluctant because I’m the only 20 something , pretty girl, sitting alone at a bar. After about 20 minutes I could see this group of guys eyeing me. I knew they were making bets to try and talking to me. After another 20 minutes, liquid courage hits and one of them does.
The group of guys were from NY/Jersey celebrating the birthday of the guy who came up to me. Boy, we’re they in for it with me. Lol Little did they know I can speak their accent better than they can and give them shit like a man. They were all in their 40s and early 50s and all married…. Of course. Remember when I told you cheating was the norm here? If your man travels to my city… beware.
Regardless the drinks and conversation were flowing but one of them was convinced I was free-styling. I laughed because obviously he’s not completely wrong but denied all night because I was there truly for my friend, not them.
The night ends, my friend saves me and we get talking to the valet. I tip really well and tell him the laughs of the evening. This guy tells me stories of him knowing the working girls who frequent; they’ll go as far as parking your car up front so you can get away easily and how guys will call down after their watch is stolen
Moral of the story : Tip anyone well enough and you can get away with anything
If you showed your texts, how many men would be considered cheaters?… all of them.
Dear fucking Cheesus…. I swear to the heaven above..
I CANNOT deal with the men where ***I’m from*** ALL of them cheat, ALL OF THEM have a side bitch or will fuck around and get back together with their ex in a matter of days.
This is why in the end, GET YOUR BAG. That’s all that matters.
I was talking to a friend of mine but he was texting a mushy… he had just broken up with his girl “she’s a good girl but not for me”
“I was so unhappy” “good morning beautiful, can’t wait to hang out”
Nope. They’re back together. Lol imagine that.
Another guy, “me and my girl broke up… but don’t repeat that to anyone….. I think you’re so hot I’ve wanted to get with you forever” still posts about her on IG.
My recent POTSD?! His “ex” hasn’t even moved out of the house yet.
****Again, clarifying where I’m from. West coast. This is the norm here.
I’m on a plane back home and this pilot guy I saw came to mind. Total liar about who he was, scammer.. the whole 9.
My mistake is that I let this guy IN TO MY HOUSE.
Your house/apartment/ wherever you stay is YOUR sanctuary. This isn’t for memories of some jackass who screwed you over. Otherwise, you’ll forever have an imprinted image of this person in your house. Your house is no longer safe but filled with bad memories of these men.
Also, for safety reasons please keep these guys away. Don’t let them help you move or come over and do something… just trust me on this one.
Sorry, I realized I eluded to this experience without telling you about it later.
Not too long ago I made a stupid decision to have a trip with a POTSD and his friends just so I could fly private for the first time. It was only overnight, how bad could it be?
Regardless I was nervously excited. My biggest concern was that this was a smaller plane to which my nausea and I.. would just about die.
Pros :
No TSA
No waiting to board a plane - drive right up and get on
Good food
Squishy seats
Cons
Small (6 passenger plane.. definitely recommended flying a bigger one)
Turbulence SUCKED…
Plane wasn’t big enough for flight attendants
You might have to sit backwards..
Regardless, I wasn’t overly impressed with private but I’ve heard bigger planes make ALL the difference
So much that I’m almost avoiding it as an SB, even if I like my SD. I don’t crave it, I cringe knowing they want it. I’m the type of person who can only take once a day… if that. Past trauma just causes tightness and pain down there.
I get annoyed when I set boundaries and they gaslight me.”Oh, cmon, it doesn’t hurt. You’re not sore”
Meanwhile this guy was circling his hips inside me stretching my vagina way out of capacity… wtf. Who taught guys this shit?!
Moral of the story : If you can afford to take a break, do so. This life can be so draining on your physical and mental health. Get a boyfriend - seriously. Someone you can have an emotional connection and enjoy sex.
