In the same way, not all colours suit our skin tone. Not all perfumes will marry our natural body smell.I used to buy perfumes based on what was trending at the moment.
Advertising and Marketing had a lot to do with that, but now I have a different approach that I am going to share in this blog post.
1.Don’t fall into the trap of Marketing
Sometimes, the packaging, the bottle, and the colours can seduce you and get you to buy a perfume before even you get to smell it.
But you really should not judge a book by its cover. I tried on perfume that had an incredible presentation but was not that great.
2.Shop for perfumes alone
When you go shopping with other people. It is easy to get distracted and eveninfluenced by their opinion. It is best to go perfume shopping alone. It’ll be easier for you to make the right choice for yourself. Without any noise or distraction around you to influence you.
3.Try the perfume on your Hand…
Wait a few hours to see how the perfume alchemizes with your natural body smell.If you still like the smell on your skin, you can safely purchase the perfume knowing that you will enjoy putting it on every day.
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Your bedroom should be your sanctuary, a quiet retreat for you to escape and feel safe at all times. It should be a place where you unwind after a busy day at the office; a room to be alone and focus on your thoughts.
Your bedroom should aim to be a comfortable, calming place you look forward to resting after a long day. If you want to upgrade the energy in your sleep area, check out these tips on how to turn your bedroom into a sanctuary that you’ll never want to leave.
Indulge Your Senses
Turn your bedroom into a sanctuary is by creating a sensory experience.The easiest way to do this is through your sense of smell. Grab your most delicious candle or diffuse your favourite essential oils to help set the right tone.
Fill up the room with soft, plushy materials, including rugs, pillows, and throw blankets, for some extra warmth and coziness.
Consider including a small area rug around your bed. This way, your toes have something soft and cozy to land on in the morning, just as soon as you wake up. Your feet will thank you!
Nature elements have a calming, meditative feel. perfect for your bedroom sanctuary.
Nature elements have a calming, meditative feel. perfect for your bedroom sanctuary.
And there are many creative ways these elements can be incorporated into your room to create a perfect bedroom sanctuary.
You can add potted plants or vases of fresh flowers, hang imagery of nature on the walls, or incorporate textured elements through bedding, rugs, or throw blankets.
Let the Light In!
Harsh lights can instantly kill the mood you’re trying to set. So avoid using fluorescent bulbs that wash out any semblance of serenity. Instead, opt for soft or natural light to brighten up your bedroom.
Even small actions like opening a window (even for a little bit in winter times) can dramatically change the mood in your room to something calmer and more inviting.
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If you began to notice that you’re keeping regular contact with fewer people than you did prior to your level up, there’s nothing to worry about. Losing friends while growing older is probably a good thing.
Here are some things you might experience as you get older and begin your level-up journey..
Hey loves! You are viewing part 2 of my “How to fix low self-esteem series” CLICK HERE to view part 1!
What is low self Esteem..?
Low self-esteem is caused by feelings of unworthiness or the feeling that we are far behind where we are supposed to be in life. How did we come to decide that we are not good enough? How did we come up with the “ideal self” that we do not seem to attain?
4.Practice Gratitude
Be grateful for what you already have, be it your health, your family and friends, your home, the food you eat every day. Don’t take these things for granted.
5.Make time for yourself
Time is the most valuable thing we have because it is the only thing that no money on earth could buy. Do not spend with the wrong people! Time is better spent alone than with people who don’t appreciate and value your company.
6.Do not tolerate mediocrity from anyone!
The main reasons people tolerate mediocrity & bad behaviour. Is either because they view themselves as inferior based on superficialities or because they need validation from that person. People will only treat you the way you allow them to, so the way people treat you is your responsibility.
This post was based on a question I received on my thoughts on stay-at-home moms & wives.Click here to read.
Ladies, it is essentialto know the lifestyle you want to live. If your main priority is to take care of your kids and enjoy leisure time. Then, you may prefer to be a stay-at-parent. If being a boss babe and having independence is important to you, you may prefer being an entrepreneur or having a career.
Perks of being a Career Woman
Financial Independence:
When you make your own money, YOUcall the shots! If financial independence is important to you and gives you peace of mind a career might be for you.
You may like the status and recognition that comes with earning your own money.
Larger social pool:
Most stay-at-home moms hang out with their families and other stay-at-home moms. If you enjoy socializing in corporate functions a career is a better option.
When you have a career that takes you places and into settings with a variety of people, it can be more rewarding for your career or business.
Purpose beyond family life:
Although being a mother and wife is rewarding, some may want a life surpassing home.
If you feel your calling is beyond being a mother and wife a career you are passionate about you fulfill that need.
You don’t want to look back and wish you did more. Find a life that is worth living, and that includes working.. so be it.
Perks of being a Homemaker
You never miss a moment:
When you stay at home you can be there for every moment of your kid’s childhood.
From ballet practice to graduations to prom. You won’t miss a beat! (My mom was a stay-at-home mom for 15 years. she was there for my sibling through everything.)
Rest in your femininity:
Feminine energy is receptive and less active than masculine energy. When you stay home and are able to live more leisurely you can rest in your femininity.
Allows your partner to work hard for you and your family while you focus on making the house a home.
Freedom (more or less):
You can spend the day as you wish with no other obligation than taking care of the kids, possibly making meals and maintaining the home.
Attending meetups with other stay-at-home moms.
picking up a profitable hobby like blogging or painting.
Disclaimer: You can be a successful ambitious woman and a stay-at-home mom, but remember: it can be very difficult to do it all at once! This can eventually lead to burnout.
Affirmation #1: I am uniquely created with a purpose.
You being here was not an accident. You living the life you live and coming into contact with the people you’ve met has not been an accident. Don’t go wasting it all and aimlessly moving about life. Every step you take has a purpose. You have a purpose. So live on purpose!
Affirmation #2: It is okay to say no.
It is okay to say no so that you can say yes to yourself.Yes to protect your mental space. Protect your energy. Say yes to more rest. Say yes to doing more of what you love. Spend 2022 saying yes to you more.
Affirmation #3: I am capable & I am competent.
I am challenging myself to focus less on the information or skills I may not have yet and put my energy into what I do have and can provide. Most importantly, I remember that I am capable of digesting information and developing the needed skills along the way.
How selfish is it to think that the gifts and talents you have are for you? What good is having gifts if you don’t use them and share them from time to time? You like writing and you have a story to tell but do you think you’ll just keep it all to yourself? Someone out there needs to see or hear what you have to share.
How selfish is it to think that the gifts and talents you have are for you? What good is having gifts if you don’t use them and share them from time to time? You like writing and you have a story to tell but do you think you’ll just keep it all to yourself? Someone out there needs to see or hear what you have to share.
You never know how sharing your light can significantly impact another life. God gave you these gifts and you’re going to keep them to yourself? Don’t be stingy with what the Universe/God gave you.
Affirmation #5: It may be scary, but anything is achievable.
If you are thinking about taking a leap of faith and betting on yourself, whether it’s going for that job promotion or starting that business, or moving out on your own, then go for it.
Don’t let the fear of the unknown scare you and stop you in your tracks. We spend a lot of time focusing on the fear of the “what-ifs” when we are thinking about making a change and that only leads to anxiety, procrastination, and lost time. You can never truly know what will happen until you have begun to move.
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Here’s are 5 more ways to express your emotions in a healthy feminine manner.
Pamper yourself
Wash your hair, go shopping, treat yourself to a spa day. Whatever it is that helps you unwind and feel pampered do it! This isn’t a long-term solution to unresolved feelings it might be a quick fix to turn your day and mood around.
Invest in therapy
I highly encourage all women on their journey to better themselves to go to therapy.We are all the products of our childhood, and many of us have experienced trauma as children. It is your job to explore those feelings and get to the root of your issues. A therapist who has experience can help you with this!
Process your emotions
Rest and recovery should be a part of all processes. Take time to reflect on what triggered your emotional state. Dealing with your emotions is the key to healing.
Exercise
Regulating our emotions can be made easier through exercise. When we exercise, our body releases dopamine and endorphins that give us all types of good feelings of reward & pleasure. In addition to it being good for our long term health.
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my most recent post about dating well is all over the place, but what I’m trying to say is that I have no issue with young black women advising others to date well off men ( I advocate for it) but the bashing of other women as well as the anti blackness they spew in regards to BM needs to stop.
I go in on BM all the time but there’s a line between calling them out and projecting self hate/anti blackness. The tweet I was referring on Twitter was
Most of these women giving advice literally have nothing to show for it, and most of the time the advice is trash. Don’t let these women make you feel like you can’t date a regular dude and that can’t be “leveling up”. If he does right by you what does it matter? I think standards like the guy having his own shit (car, crib etc) and obviously having job is basic. But expecting every nigga to fly you out, take you shopping and so forth is very unrealistic for most women. But I’m gonna save rest of my thoughts on this for podcast Chile
I can go live about this topic on twitter, if I get atleast 10-20 followers.
One thing I have come to learn over the years is that there really aren’t any “rules” or “guidelines to follow when it comes to dating. Especially if you want to date someone with means so you can potentially become a “spoiled gf”.
Thanks for sticking out with me this past month even though I have been completely MIA. A lot of things have happened and still happening. I have been pretty busy planning my long vacation by the end of the year till early next year, I am back in Uni as well, still doing a full-time at work as well, still have an ongoing relationship with my SD and we are doing well had a bit of a hiccup but we got through it.
Anyway so here’s a rundown of what’s happened during the past months I haven’t updated you all. It was late May, we were having dinner having normal chat then he mentioned some major changes that may happen soon that may affect us. Apparently, he has to move to a different state temporarily to be more hands-on with one of his ventures and asked me if I would like to move in with him. I said no, I mean I can’t just turn my life around for someone. Then we decided it’s best to just probably end our arrangement once he decided when to move which he said would probably be by end of June. That night was actually a bit heavy on the both of us.
A week after our talk, I have decided to reactivate my online accounts again since we will be ending our arrangement anyway. I reckon I should put myself out there again since I am not yet ready to fully stop sugaring. Two days after reactivating my account we were scheduled to see each other, then he mentioned that one of his friends who still on one of the sites I’m on saw my profile and told him. When he told me about this I just said to him that I need to start looking for a new arrangement since ours will be ending anyway. Then he opened up to me saying that it was hard for him to see me be with someone else and that he had developed strong feelings towards me. I was actually unable to respond to him after he said all those things, my only response was a quick kiss and a smile.
I have had a few scheduled dates since I re-activated my accounts and had received gifts and cash for dates. I never told my SD about my other ventures but I find it hard to get a proper connection with the men I’ve met.
So it was mid-June when he told me that he wanted to re-negotiate our arrangement so I don’t have to go back in the bowl. Here’s what he said he would like to happen. After every month he will be away for three weeks but our exclusive arrangement and my allowance will remain the same and that he will pay for my masters till I finish. Added to that arrangement he requested that during his time away he wanted us to be in touch every day.
July is going to be over soon and we are still ok, I can pretty much say it’s working out really great for us. But only time can tell, all I know now is that I am just excited for my holiday.
A narcissistic abuse tip that helped me in life and in sugaring
If you’ve ever been in a narcissistic relationship it is one of the most emotionally distressing relationships you will ever be in. Trauma eliciting.
One of the main things narcissists will do is try to find out early what you like and dislike. This is how they get you. They alter themselves to be your perfect match then rip you apart later on.
So if any guy asks you what you like or dislike, what your perfect match is DO NOT TELL HIM. Give a vague answer.
“Depends on the person, what I like in one may not be what I like in an other”
“Why don’t you be yourself and I’ll tell you if I like you”
I recently saw a post about someone asking if Snapchat was a reliable source of communication. To those who are married, I get it. But how the HELL can you verify a Snapchat account? What if this SD is a rapist or a time waster?!
The amount of times a real number has SAVED me from meeting up with potential guys who are scammers, time wasters and abusers…. Geez. If they made an app similar to the one I use but also was able to look up screen names for Snapchat, I’d be all for it.
The WORST part of being an SB for a living is finding someone new. The countless amount of dates you go on. Most of them can’t afford you, so you went to dinner to get fed and get through a date.
Spring training is very active where I am and yes, I could make a shitload of money off these guys wanting short term arrangements. But it’s a short term arrangement that got me raped so….. I’m scarred. Not to mention, I’m an STD freak. One night is not worth a week or two of antibiotics and a fishy pussy. Yes, condoms are a thing but I’ve been burned in the past and I wore protection.
Either way, I look for long term. I have had THE WORST luck lately. Cannot find what I’m looking for. Even if the allowance is right, the man was not.
I haven’t written so many reports on the screening app we use in a long time. Damn.
You do eventually get sick and tired of this lifestyle
There are many highs… but there are many lows.
Today is one of my lows. Where I want to cry. Where I’m sick of relying on someone else to keep my head above water or waiting for a man to buy me something expensive.
Once you get into this lifestyle, it’s SO HARD to get out. It’s like a drug. Seriously.
I was out with some girls where being an SB came up. I will forever tell anyone who asks or inquires about being an SB to NEVER DO IT.
I do wish I never got into this lifestyle. No one told me the long term damage this lifestyle has on you. I don’t think anyone knew in the time of Tumblr OG lol.
Every time I want to get out, use the money to invest in other things, my SD falls through lol it’s so annoying.
Being an SB has given me such a good lifestyle and memories but it’s tiring… I want to date whoever, pay for my own shit without worry.
Sorry for the rant… Tumblr has always been my SB diary… the good and the bad.
I really want a podcast talking about all this shit… OMG
I have one of three (now two SDs) because tonight one of them just hasn’t been definitive lately. I asked when I was going to see him and it was never a straight answer.
Tonight he asked me what I’m up to. I say nothing much. He asked when I’m going to see him.
I was kind of annoyed by this question because I had told him before to let me know when his schedule was free. Then he goes, “you sound salty”
*narrows eyes*
It’s 830 at night and he has the audacity to go, “I’m free if you want to see me”
I debate because the ppm is 800 which isn’t bad but something in my guy just doesn’t feel right about this.
So I tell him that basically and block him.
Meanwhile my 8k whale always asks at the end of the date when he’s going to see me.
There are men who have everything and won’t give you shit
Learn to recognize these men and RUN.
I’ve encountered these men a few times throughout my years of sugaring. It sucks.
One has kind of come back (or is trying) to come back. We met on SA but I soon came to find out, he just wanted a companion to wipe his tears to get over his last gf.
He got me into a really cool sport, but I had to keep telling him that I can’t spend these weekends with him if he doesn’t help me. I stayed way longer than I should.
We talked about the past and I brought this up to him. To which he replied, “I would have gotten you anything you sent me a link to…. I did get you things” (yeah some yoga pants and some boots… big whoop)
I asked if he wanted to hang out again to which he said yes since things have changed, the ex is gone etc.
SO I’m going to test the waters.
I sent him a link to a Dyson Airwrap. I sent that link 3 hours ago. Hasn’t replied. Thus, once again, he’s just full of shit.
I can be a horrible glutton for punishment sometimes. Sometimes what I have is never enough, especially when it comes to rich men.
I have my 8k allowance guy, and two other ones which equates to another 5k.
Well, an old relationship came back… who I met on the site but he never gave me anything but he did get me into an awesome sport. Well, I found out that he’s secretly a bitcoin billionaire and makes a TON of residuals from his software.
ON TOP OF THAT, I managed to flirt with Showoff SD… because I saw the private jet on his way to Mexico.. and caught his attention again…. <- I’m regretting that decision. But I just like knowing I can snag him over all his Barbie blonde girls lol it’s a conquest.
Honestly I think the inflation, war and everything becoming so expensive is freaking me out and I’m looking for any kind of financial security if shit hits the fan.
Although I don’t recommend drinking while you’re with your SD, sometimes it helps when you need it most. I really enjoy my new whale, I love to talk to him and joke.
Intimacy? Eh. He looks great for his later 50s but his arms have that thin, crapy old man skin…. which kind of grosses me out. He doesn’t drink at all but doesn’t mind if I do. However, my best friend is sober and has been for 15+ years. Thus, I don’t tend to drink a lot around him. Unfortunately that same mindset kind of hit while I was with my new SD.
As we were getting hot and heavy, I realized, “Shit, I should have drank more.”
It’s even worse because this was our first time together as well and first time sex is never that good. You get to see what weird movements and quirks your SD has that probably made him a single man in the first place.
Ever had a guy move his hips in circles while he was inside you? Where in the Sam hell did you learn such a tactic? What are you trying to do? Butter up my sweet walls with that knife? Sheesh.
So either way, doesn’t last long (thank the heavens) but then mr. genius goes, “You know how we were talking about fantasies?”
…………
…..Yeah. Thinking, okay hopefully it’s like a costume play.
“I have this rape fantasy…” and then he goes on to tell me about one of his favorite porns that he thinks he funny where it’s rape of course and threatens this girl out naked of the house…..
Geeze….. out of ALL the fantasies a guy can have….. it had to be this one.
Doing some research, these fantasies are actually REALLY common amongst individuals.
In personal experience, the more wealthy…the weirder.
He adores me. Hoping to invest this money HARD CORE into my life so I can finally exit. I’m ready to be a multimillionaire who travels the world at my free will. No men, just me.
He’s addicted to drama and super Barbie blondes. Well, that’s just the opposite of me. I’m also sweet, kind and I communicate very effectively. Maybe I texted too much. ♀️
We had a fun few weeks, he invited me to Cabo with his two girls who just adored me. I honestly thought I had him. I satisfied all his needs, physically everything was great. I even made him nervous and self conscious. Lol
So, him spending a weekend with his ex doesn’t surprise me. He’s used to her, maybe isn’t intimidating for him, who knows.
If you give a guy everything he could ask for and he still leaves? Honey, it’s not you, I promise. Some guys just struggle internally. Sometimes your standards make them have to work to be a better man and they don’t want to abs it happens.
BUT one man’s she’s too good for me, isn’t another man’s “she’s everything I’m looking for”
Which totally happened later. Went on a date, we had an AMAZING time, he offered 8k a month. Uh, yes please. So… bye Mr. Showoff! Hello to my new whale and sponsor.
I miss tumblr days, unfortunately I scroll Reddit posts now. Some subreddits are good. Some are just horrid about SW and the bowl.
Life had been peachy. I’m about to get a WHALE of a daddy but he’s very public about his lifestyle and who he dates. Fine BUT the second I get posted, I know some fire is going to come about. With his exes… or mine.. I REALLY HOPE NOT.
I like the private guys. The secretly wealthy. Lol
However, the rewards are huge…. Worth the risk? Probably. I’ll let you guys know.
This is what happens when you stop paying when you go on a date
I saw this post on TikTok about a guy commented that a guy should always pay for the first date but a girl should expect to pay half…. And then I saw a comment “I’ll happily pay for the whole bill or half! It’s called respect”
I’m sorry, what? I felt so sorry for this girl because someone conditioned her that she, as a woman, should have to provide like a man should. HELL NO. It’s not called respect, it’s called a guy can play you because he doesn’t have to invest in you.
Honey, level up. I get spoiled by my new sponsor with a big allowance and gifts like this.
Girl… go to bed like the successful heaux that you are. That you don’t have a fuck boy, but a wealthy sponsor who deposits money in your account every week, buys you designer because he wants to, flys you first class, if he has work, he sends you out to do your favorite things then takes you out to exclusive dinners and constantly compliments everything everyone else over looked. You live peacefully, you have it made..
![[that someone can sometimes include ourselves]](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7f1d62287781cc11e6945720783dd3cf/tumblr_p8t3xySs7S1shg25bo1_640.jpg "[that someone can sometimes include ourselves]")
