#suicidal thoughts

Having chronic suicidal thoughts is hard. Really hard. And really scary. It’s one thing to get close to hurting yourself once, but some of us have to do it again and again. What if one time our will fails?

Despite it all, there IS a silver lining. I now know I can get through anything. I mean anything. I have survived my brain yelling at me to kill myself time and time again. I made it this far. There’s not a damn thing that can stop me.

I will endure pain, grief, panic, uncertainty as we all do. It’ll suck, as it always does. But I KNOW I’ll come out the other side. Because to me, nothing can be scarier than chronic intrusive suicidal thoughts. Life can’t throw anything at me that my brain hasn’t already tried to destroy me with.

I mean maybe I’m just like really well medicated for mood disorders rn but I am footloose and fancy free and ready to absolutely fuckin savor this life I fought so hard for.