#theyre so embarrassing

Day Four:

This is going to be similar to last year in that I am stringing the days together to create a longer love story that takes place over several years.  You have Em to thank for that.  And also for the tattoos.

So I suppose that these are dedicated to her.

(This chapter is suggestive and I am going to tag it as NSFW just to be safe.)

Indelible

“Are you sure…?”

“Yes.”

“We could wait…”

Matthew laughed and dragged Gilbert towards his unmade bed.

“I’m ready.  We’re ready.  I want to do this.”

“What if…  What if it’s bad?”  Gilbert hissed anxiously.  “What if I hurt you?  Or you hurt me?  Or I pull a muscle and start crying and you’re not attracted to me anymore and, and, and…”

He trailed off as Matthew pulled his sweater over his head and raised a challenging eyebrow. Why was he always shirtless when they had important conversations?  That hardly seemed fair.

He gulped.  

“That’s not fair. You’re cheating.”

“I am.  You’re being ridiculous, Gilbert.”

He stared at the tattoo crawling up his arm and felt a swell of pride for his work.  He had done that.  Matthew had lethimdo that.  He had let him pierce his skin with needles for hours upon hours upon hours.

He had let him paint stained glass pieces and birds and flowers on him.  He had asked him to colour the tangled strings red.

He had trustedhim.

“I don’t want to disappoint you,” Gilbert whispered.  Matthew melted a little and cupped his face in both hands.

“You could never disappoint me,” he said, and he sounded so sure that it pulled on his heartstrings.  “Never. We can take it slow.  We can be careful.  But I want to do this.”

“…  Okay,” Gilbert breathed, reaching for his shoulders. “Okay.  We can try.”

And then he pushed Matthew backwards onto the mattress.

“Hey!”  He laughed, bouncing where he landed. Gilbert kneeled between his legs and started blowing raspberries on his stomach.  “Hey, that tickles!”

“You’re the one who wanted to do this.”

Matthew hauled him further up and kissed him.

“I do.  I want this.  I want you.”

Matthew nipped at his lips and slipped his tongue into his mouth and ran his fingers through his hair. Gilbert broke the kiss just long enough to toss his shirt across the bedroom and wiggle out of his jeans.  He touched his chest with shaking hands and ghosted over his nipples.

It was different than when he was tattooing him.  It was even different from when they cuddled or held hands.  They had been close for most of their lives but this was new and exciting and Gilbert wanted more of it.

He reached into his trousers and swallowed the little noise Matthew made when he palmed his erection.

“I can tell,” he chuckled, and Matthew must have forgotten what they were talking about earlier because he just blinked at him.  His eyes were hazy and unfocused.  It was cute.

Gilbert pressed a bit harder and laughed when he bucked.

“You’re such a tease,” Matthew growled impatiently.

“You haven’t seen anything yet.  You want to go slow?  I waited years for you.  I can drag this out all…  Night… Long…”

“Why do I have to do everything around here?”  Matthew shimmied out from under him and kicked off his trousers, socks, and underwear. He pulled a bottle of FINE BOTANICAL LUBRICANT out from under his pillow.  He tossed it to Gilbert.  “I said ‘I like you’ first.  I said ‘I love you’ first.  So hurry up and dosomething about it!”

Gilbert fumbled with the bottle.

“Uhh…  You want me to…?  You?  Me?”

Matthew rolled his eyes but there was a flush spreading down his chest now.

“You can do me tonight.”

“Tonight…”  He repeated faintly as Matthew flipped onto his stomach and raised his ass in the air.  Gilbert stared at the tattoo in the centre of his back and tried not to think too much about what he was doing when he spread his knees a little further.  

“I, uh, I stretched earlier,” Matthew mumbled into his pillow.  “It’ll be easier.  Probably.”

Gilbert coated his fingers and studied the stained glass halo they were adding behind the skull and antlers to tie the design to his arm.

He slipped one finger inside of Matthew and kissed his tattoo.

He slipped another finger inside him and traced the lines with his tongue.  He started rocking his fingers in and out.

He slipped a third finger inside and bit Matthew on the shoulder when he cried out.

“Are you okay?” Gilbert asked, and he was surprised how much deeper his voice sounded.  He continued to bite and lick his shoulder as he worked.  He was going to leave bruises.  “We can stop at any time.  If you want.”

“I’ll kill you if you even think about stopping,” Matthew panted.  His hips kept jerking forward before pushing back and he keened when Gilbert curled his fingers.  

Gilbert grinned against his skin.

“I love you too.”

Day One:

This is going to be similar to last year in that I am stringing the days together to make a longer love story that takes place over several years.  You have Em to thank for that.  And also for the tattoos.

So I suppose that these are dedicated to her.

Indelible

“I want a tattoo.”

Gilbert rolled over onto his stomach and stared at Matthew.

“You’re fourteen.”

“So?”  Matthew frowned.  He was drowning in his oversized sweater and there was a pimple on his chin where it jutted out in defiance.  He looked too young to know what he wanted.

“Well, I mean, how do you know what you want?”

“I don’t know what I want yet.  I just want a tattoo.  My cousin has one on his wrist.”

Gilbert hummed and studied the posters on his wall.  The two of them had tacked them up last summer and the words ‘I WANT TO BELIEVE’ were crooked because neither of them could agree on whether it was straight or not.  

“Your cousin is an idiot.”

“You’re the one who kissed him.”

Gilbert jolted upright.

“Yeah, when we were nine years old!”

Matthew chuckled and rubbed his nose on the sleeve of his sweater.

“Francis said you asked to kiss him.  He said you wanted to practice.  He said you’re a terrible kisser!”

“Francis is a dirty liar,” Gilbert growled.  “And he wet the bed until he was seven!”

Matthew burst into shocked giggles.

“He did not!”  He sounded so scandalized that Gilbert forgot what they had been talking about and beckoned Matthew closer.  He cupped his hand against his mouth and leaned in.  Matthew twisted towards him.

“Do you know what else Francis did until he was seven…?”

“I still want a tattoo.” 

Gilbert nudged Matthew into his locker.

“You’re fifteen. And you still don’t know what you want.”

“I don’t have to know what I want yet,” Matthew pouted, pulling the Fundamentals of Calculus textbook out of his locker.  Gilbert recognized the smiling, racially diverse children on the cover even though it had been two years since he took the course.  The children looked uncomfortable and their clothes were at least two decades out of date.

Someone had crossed out the ‘fun’ in fundamentals.  

“Uh, yeah, you kind’a do.  It’s going to be on your skin for, like, ever.  It’s sort of a big deal.”

Matthew smacked him with the textbook and started walking down the corridor with his chin in the air.  Their classes were on opposite sides of the high school but Gilbert often walked him to third and fifth period despite the distance.  

Matthew was his neighbour and the two of them had grown up together so Gilbert tried to keep an eye on him.  At least that was what he told himself.  That he was just keeping an eye on him.

Even if it meant that he was late for his own classes.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“It has to mean something to you.”

“Nuh uh,” Matthew waved his hand in animated circles, “you can get something just ‘cause you like it. Or it makes you laugh.  Or you think it’s pretty.  It doesn’t have to have some deep meaning.”

“Then why get one at all?”

“Well, why not?”

He did not have an answer for that.

They stopped and stared at each other when they reached his classroom and Gilbert always felt like he was supposed to do something when he walked Matthew to class but he could not quite put his finger on it.  So they just ended up standing around awkwardly until the teacher ushered Matthew inside.  

“Do you still want a tattoo?” 

Matthew looked up from his novel.

“I’m sixteen.”

“Oh, wow, I hadn’t noticed.”

“You’re an asshole,” Matthew laughed, patting the spot beside him on the grass.  “I thought you were supposed to be a responsible adult now.”

Gilbert grinned and collapsed next to him.

“You’re just jealous because I can vote.”

“That’s definitely it.”

Matthew had grown into his broad shoulders over the past couple of months and his face was clearing up but he still needed a haircut.

Gilbert had missed him.

“How is college treating you?”  Matthew asked, tucking a renegade curl behind his ear.  Gilbert itched to run his fingers through his hair but he squashed the impulse.  He had really missed him.

“Good.  I dropped physics, which pissed off my father, and I started taking arts classes.  Which pissed him off more.  And I’m still taking a couple of musical theory classes.”

“Really?  You’re studying art?”

“I like it,” Gilbert shrugged casually.  “It turns out that I have a good eye for colour.  I have a knack for oils.  And… I’m starting to get really, really good with ink.”

“Ink,” Matthew repeated, turning to stare at him.  They were sitting too close and their noses were almost touching and it was getting hard to breathe.  Gilbert felt like he had been punched in the stomach.  

“Ink,” he nodded. “And I was thinking, I mean, I’ve been looking into tattooing.  There is a tattoo artist across from the college who offered to take me on as an apprentice if I finish at least two years of school.  I’ve been helping her around the shop.”

“I thought…  Well, I always thought you didn’t like tattoos.”

“No, that’s… That’s not it.  I like them.  I do.  I just didn’t understand why you were so sure you wanted a tattoo when you didn’t even know what you wanted.  But I think I get it now.  And I really like the idea of someone wearing something I created, forever, just because they can.”

Matthew suddenly beamed at him.

“I think you would make an excellent tattoo artist.”

“You think?”

“I do.”

“So, uh, if I take the apprenticeship…  Would you… I mean, would you want to be my first…?”

“Your first…?”

“Client!  My first client!”

They were both blushing now.

“I would be honoured.”

“Did you decide what you wanted yet?” 

Gilbert juggled his mobile as he wandered around the tattoo parlour and wiped down the equipment.

“Youknow I haven’t,” Matthew replied over the line. “I’m too busy studying to think about it.”

“That’s a lie,” Gilbert said fondly.  “You’re smarter than anyone I know.  You don’t need to study.”

“I’m smarter than anyone you know because I study!”

“You’re already an honour student.”

“I’m trying to get into college.  And I need a scholarship if I want to do that.  My parents can’t afford to send both of us to college.”

Gilbert hummed.

“I forgot how expensive twins were.”

“I didn’t,” Matthew said dryly.  “And Alfred will probably pick up a football scholarship but I have to do my part too. Tuition, textbooks, living expenses… Residence fees!  It all adds up, y’know.”

“You could just move in with me.”

The words were out of his mouth before Gilbert could fully understand what he was offering.  He almost dropped his mobile in surprise.  

Matthew sucked in a breath on the other end.

“…  You don’t mean that.”

But, the more he thought about it, the more Gilbert realized he meant it.  It just made sense.  He had moved out of residence and into one of the apartments over the tattoo shop a few months ago.  It was old and the floorboards creaked but it was close to the college.

And it was cheaper than residence fees.  

“I do!  It’s close, it’s cheap, it’s nice enough! And, I mean, it might be a little crowded but I think we could manage.  I mean, if you wanted to…  I mean… Shit.  I’m sorry, Matthew.  You probably don’t want to live with me…”

“I do!”  Matthew squeaked.  “I would love…  I mean… I think we could make it work.  I already know all of your bad habits.  And I miss you.  I just…  Are you sure you want…  Me…?”

Gilbert flushed from his toes to the tips of his ears at the insinuation.  He was glad Matthew could not see him.

“Of course I want you!”  He exclaimed before groaning and covering his face in mortification.  “You.  You? To live with me.  In my apartment.  With me.”

Matthew giggled. He sounded just as embarrassed.  

“Okay.  Okay then.  I guess I should get back to studying.  If I want to live with you.  In your apartment.”

“Right. Good.  You do that.”

“Okay.  I’m going to hang up now.”

“That’s, uh, that’s probably a good idea.”

Gilbert stared down at his mobile after he hung up and tried to ignore the fact that his heart was beating faster than the dial tone.

“So you finally figured out what you want, huh?” 

Gilbert organized and reorganized the equipment in front of him.  He had been practicing on himself and pieces of meat for a few months but this was different.  This was the first time he would be working on another person.  

“Kind of,” Matthew bit his bottom lip.

“What, uh, what do you want?”

“A line.”

“A…  What?”

Matthew pushed up the sleeve of his sweater and pointed to the inside of his right forearm.

“A line.  From here to here,” he dragged his finger from the middle of his forearm to just before his elbow in a simple, straight line. Gilbert did not know whether he was supposed to be relieved or insulted.

“I can do more than a line!”

“I know,” Matthew wiggled in his seat, looking uncomfortable.  “I know you can.  I’ve seen your work.  It’s amazing.  You’re going to be amazing.  But…  I don’t know what I’m going to be yet.  I just moved across the country, I just moved in with you…  I start classes in the morning…  You were right.  I don’t really know what I want yet.  I don’t know who I am.”

Gilbert took his hand in both of his own.

He studied his face.

“But…?”

“But I want to see how it turns out,” Matthew rushed to explain, blushing.  His chin jutted out just like it used to when they were children.  “My life.  This tattoo.  This is just the starting point.  We can add to it.  We can make it something beautiful.  But we have to start somewhere.”

Gilbert felt the corners of his mouth twitch.  He wondered if Matthew had noticed that he switched from saying ‘I’ to ‘we’ as he spoke.

“Okay.  A line.  A new start.”

“A new beginning.”

Gilbert leaned over his arm and pressed a soft kiss to where Matthew had pointed.

“A new beginning,” he agreed.