#tomik vrona

Has anyone been keeping up with the new mtg chapters?! Omg I love Ral and Tomik so much!! Such precious boys!!

Not the wildest tone shift for a reprint, but definitely one of my favorites in recent memory~~~

YES MY BOYS!!!!!

Link to Kieran’s store for anyone who wishes for prints

War of the Spark: Ravnica – Operation Desperation

Last time, Rat was unnoticeable! This time, Operation Desperation!

…

Wait, did Tumblr get rid of the divider lines? Son of a – how am I supposed to divide segments now? Just have no dividers like an unprofessional writer???

I.

• Ah right, Jarad was killed and became a lich. That’s why it’s ‘first killed’.
• … part of me is considering pasting these stories in a word doc, and replacing all instances of ‘creepies’ with ‘eternals’. See how that reads.
• Oh good, the portal’s closed!
• Or maybe four …
  My companions all stopped dead in their tracks.
  I asked Teyo what was wrong, and he said something had changed.
  
• That’s it? No quotes? I mean, Teyo’s new to planeswalking and all, so he probably would be unfamiliar with the sensation.
• Also, what kind of monster puts spaces between their ellipses?
• Also also, Rat’s psychic abilities coming into play!
• Jace, Teferi, Jaya, and Vivien vs. Liliana & the Dreadhorde… f*ck that’s a good band name…
• Yes, there was still the dragon. Actually, did Bolas just show up to sit pretty and let all the sparks come to him? Is laziness in his color alignments, or does he have to concentrate on the Elder Spell?

II.

• The first juggler, wearing studded red leathers and ribbons that ended in sharp metal fishhooks, impressively juggled six flaming torches. The second juggler juggled eight human skulls. The third juggled twelve flaming skulls. The fourth juggler was an undead skeleton, bones reinforced with wrought iron, including four wrought-iron horns mimicking those of its master, Rakdos the Defiler. It juggled flaming cat skulls pulled from a small furnace smoldering within its own rib cage.
• That’s seven, seven times the word ‘juggle’ was used in this paragraph!
• Did you count those 500 steps, Rat? I’d make a Proclaimers joke here, but the story hasn’t earned it.
• Wait, did Vraska kill Hekara? Quick, to the wiki!
• WHAT THE EVERLOVING F*CK!?!?!?
• So apparently, in the novel, a Bolas-possessed Lavinia killed Hekara. It mentions Vraska betraying the group, so she might’ve played a part, but… WHAT THE EVERLOVING F*CK???
• Greg, are you okay? Do you need help? That’s a rhetorical question: You need an intervention here. That, or motivation. Besides a paycheck. These plot twists have M. Night Shyamalan going, “Woah, tone it down there.”
• Y’know, I wonder if Rat’s “latent psychic abilities” are just a device to let us know what the other characters are thinking…
• The walls were lined, smeared, with hundreds of torn and overlapping banners, some advertising centuries-old performances, most incorporating some insult to one of the other guilds, with Orzhov, Azorius, and Boros being the most common and popular targets.
  
• See?That’s a good sentence! Why can’t the rest of your stories be like this???
• Unicycles exist in Ravnica.
• Ogres wearing masks made from ogre skulls… like, bits of ogre skull tied together?
• Still, our little group hesitated before the entrance’s ominous red glow—until Queen Vraska muttered, “Screw it,” and marched through the arched gothic doorway.
  
• We missed you, Vraska…
• Gobakhan is an arid desert environment. I mean, I kinda guessed that, but still…
• Oh hey, Exava! She was the Rakdos maze-runner!
• Contralto: the lowest female singing voice.
• Oh hey! Tomik Vrona, Ral’s boyfriend!
• I scurried over to Hekara’s side. The thrull was tall, and I had to stand on tiptoe to see my friend and kiss her pale cheek. It was real now. I honestly couldn’t tell you whether that made it better or worse.
  
• … okay, moving on.
• The last time Niv-Mizzet tried to gain power, Jace became the guildpact. I 100% understand Rakdos’ hesitance.
• Hekara’s back! And undead (I think)! And a blood witch!
• Hekara cartwheeled away. The cartwheel morphed into a somersault, which morphed into a backflip. Hekara landed on the stage, and I applauded!
  
• Cool trick.
• Hellhounds have acidic saliva.
• Oh no, Hekara can’t see Rat anymore. I’d be so sad if I didn’t wish I could ignore Rat as a narrator.

III.

• I’m not gonna waste another divider on this paragraph.

IV.

• F*cking call them eternals…!
• Also you know Miss Raven-Hair’s name now, geez…
• “Don’t worry. I’ll explain everything that happens as we go.”
  He said, “I think I’ve got the gist of it all by now.”
  “Yeah, but you don’t know most of the players.”
  He started to say something, paused and then said, “Thank you, Araithia. That would be very helpful. And I expect … very entertaining.”
  “You just love to hear me babble.”

• 1. You haven’t been explaining. We’ve gotten snippets and tidbits, nothing more.
• 2. If we wanted the gist of things, we would’ve looked at the cards. Reading the cards explains the story.
• 3. You’re right, we don’t know most of the players. We have to check out the novel from our local library because f*ck supporting this author.
• 4. This is not an entertaining experience. Hell, the stories I write are better than this, and I have to write them all in one sitting so I don’t come back and cringe at what I write!
• 5. WE DON’T LOVE YOUR BABBLING!!!
• … I’m fine, I just… needed to get that off my chest. Please tell me the story team will be in charge of the Core Set story… if there is one… please tell me there is one…
• Normally I’d say it’s in Agyrem, but that’s vanished. Then again, there are still spirits on Ravnica, so…
• Wait, when did the Boros agree to the plan? 
• Only when all the others had shown their faces did Guildmaster Lazav of House Dimir reveal that he had been there all along—right beside Teyo and I—by morphing out of the form of Chief Varryvort.
  “Damnit, Lazav!” Master Zarek said in a clipped and dangerous voice. “What the hell have you done with the real Varryvort?”
  Master Lazav “reassured” Master Zarek in a lazy drawl, “Your accomplished chief chemister is sleeping one off. He’ll be just fine come morning—assuming this succeeds, and any of us are just fine come morning.”
  
• This exchange is almost worth the rest of the story. Almost.
• My mother seemed to be looking Teyo up and down. She frowned a little and shot me a questioning look. Apparently, Teyo Verada hadn’t passed muster as a dependable friend for Ari Shokta’s daughter.
  
• Still not worth it, but a valiant attempt.
• “The gods know he can hardly do a worse job than Beleren.“  – Ral “As soon as I invent the bus I’m gonna throw you under it” Zarek
  
• First, that’s not untrue…
• Second, who are these gods everyone keeps referring to? Give us Ravnica’s pantheon!!!
• Rakdos intolerance.
• I wonder if Teyo learns about leylines, would he be able to create a planar shield?
• Oh shit! Kefnet’s here to interrupt the ritual!
• STOP! CALLING! THEM! CREEPIES!!!
• And Kefnet would be using his staff or magic for f*ck’s sake! 
  
• Gold scales? Lemme check that art real quick…
• Nope, still looks red to me.
• Oh wow, New Niv Mizzet really is swole!
• Side-note, I wonder how the guilds are going to use all this lazotep? Even if all the bodies are cremated, scraps have gotta be laying around somewhere. The Dimir could use the recordative properties, the Izzet could probably do all sorts of crazy stuff…
• The eleven were just beginning to come out of their trances. Master Zarek shook his head to clear it and then looked up … just in time to see Master Niv-Mizzet fall.
  The dragon crashed down ten feet to the left of us, shaking the ground—and shattering all our hopes. The Firemind lay there, breathing heavily and barely moving. One wing seemed bent beneath his body at an angle so awkward, I had to cringe.
  Gan Shokta said, "That’s it? Is the great power of the new Living Guildpact already spent from dealing with a single one-armed Eternal?”
  
• Dude just came back from the dead and became the Guildpact. Chill out.

Well that was… disappointing. But hey, I got to make dividers from it.

But will we get a compitent story next time??? Stay tuned!!!

The Gathering Storm, Chapter 3

In my defense, I had to do five 30-minute shifts of carts in 90 degrees (Fahrenheit) heat. We got cold water and gatorade, but it was still exhausting. But enough about that, more actual story! Y’hear that, Greg? An actual story!!!

(Oh and if you are tired of me harping on about Greg Weisman, you can vent your frustration by voting for an icon that I have to keep ‘til the next main set! Pupper looks like he’s winning for now…)

• Ooh, I think this is the meeting where Vraska straight-up murders Isperia!
• Well of course there are guards everywhere – if all the guilds are called to a meeting, a fight’s bound to break out.
• Ah, there are Baan’s thopters! Wonder if after War of the Spark the Azorius ceased using them. Probably, all things considered.
• OH FUCK I JUST REALIZED.
  Dovin Baan got blinded in War of the Spark: Ravnica.
  He’s immune to Vraska’s petrification – he can’t see her!
• I thought this’d be poetic justice for Vraska, but now it looks like she got the short end of the stick…
• Spiked fences? I mean it does fit with the the whole uncaring government appeal, but you just know that at least 15 Raakdos cultists have impaled someone on ‘em.
• “All non-guildmembers must have their papers processed before entry,” the sergeant said. “Please wait your turn.”
  
• Isn’t Hekara an emissary? Isn’t Ral an emissary? Shouldn’t the process be expedited for them? Do you really want Rakdos himself to show up in New Prahv?
• Why is it so quiet in New Prahv? Do they fine their own guildmembers for noise violations?
• The homunculi here are described as ‘wizened’. Just how old can homunculi get?
• I should really stop asking so many questions.
• Angry noises. “Ah, I see the Boros are here.”
• I’d think that the Azorius would prefer round tables for this sort of thing, given how it features prominently in their logo, but I’m just an artist what do I know.
• Okay, so the lieutenant is letting her subordinates do all the arguing, but her boss is “Against the rear wall”. Implying that Aurelia is just leaning against the wall and just watching all this go down, and it’s hilarious.
• Aurelia’s features are described as androgynous.
• Of course not,“ the vedalken shot back. "We are the law.”

(Side note I am super upset that someone beat me to the punch on that joke, but Django deserves it.)

• Aurelia actually makes a good point. Someone may not be able to sue the government, but that doesn’t mean justice can’t be delivered against said government. Topical!
• Oh hey, I just noticed: the Jeskai-colored guilds are all together!
• If Isperia could foresee things like sphinxes sometimes do, it was probably a good idea to only have the representatives enter. Otherwise the guild subordinates would turn upon one another quicker than you can say “petrify”.

• Him? Is this vedalken Dovin Baan? If so he may have orchestrated only the guild officials having the conference…
• CALLED IT!!!
• Oh you bet your bottom dollar that he knows something about these recent matters!
• Kudos to Isperia for connecting other worlds to Azor.
• "At the same time, we have grown used to ignoring his … flights of fancy.” – Guildmaster “I will roast you within the bounds of the Law” Isperia
  

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!!!!!!!

• You know this is the worst she can legally say about the Azorius parun! Hot damn – from the Azorius no less! Nominated for Best Owns and Burns!
  
• “I assure you planeswalkers exist,” said Ral Zarek, a planeswalker.
  
• Immediately Aurelia is saying her guild alone could take on Bolas. Classic Boros.
• "At least some Ravnicans,” Ral said. “We know that Lazav and the Dimir are working with him.”
  
• And here we see Bolas’ dominoes start to fall…
• Mmm, I love a good “Jace is supposed to be the Guildpact” roast. I’m gonna miss that now…
• “Getting agreement will not be easy,” Aurelia said. “The Gruul will object on principle, and the Orzhov will consider only their own private advantage.”  
  
• More dominoes falling. Now we know why Bolas chose Domri, and why Kaya is on her mission.
• Ral Zarek has to convince all the guilds to come to the summit. What could go wrong? No seriously, Bolas has this set up so perfectly, is there any way this can go wrong?

• There’s a market in Azorius territory? God, that must be awful to work there… but then again they’d seem like the type to have their own coffee shops in-house.
• We need more faeries in magic. Give us a faerie planeswalker!
• This girl can’t be Rat: Ral can see her, and Django isn’t Greg Weisman.
• I like how Ral can sense lightning in clouds like Nissa can sense leylines. They’re so connected to their thing that they can sense it far away.
• Aha! Lavinia! She’s not exiled yet, so she’s still okay to be here.
• Good ol’ Lavinia. She should have her own detective series. I’d pay good money for that*.
• *as long as it’s not by Greg Weisman.
• And here’s more dominoes! They aren’t going to stop Ral from opposing Bolas, because Ral’s plan is exactly what Bolas wants!
• I wonder if ‘Lavinia’ is Lazav…

• I mean yeah, he was a born schemer. I’m guessing you just assume that, Ral. But it is obvious.
• I feel this hard. I want to help people, but I need to be somewhere else.
• Oh? An apartment? ARE WE GONNA SEE RAL AND TOMIK BEING A COUPLE???
• WE GET TO SEE RAL AND TOMIK BEING A GAY COUPLE!!! THANK YOU DJANGO WEXLER!!!
• Tomik stepped forward, and Ral leaned in and kissed him thoroughly. Finally Tomik broke away, shoved past Ral in spite of his mock complaints, and headed straight for the table.
  —
  "Something wrong?” Ral said, after some hesitation.
  “Oh.” Tomik laid down his fork and looked up. “You know. Guild business.”
  “Guild business.” They said it almost simultaneously, and Tomik smiled a little.
  —
  Tomik’s quick mind (and the way he fiddled with his glasses when he was flustered) had intrigued Ral, and he had taken the unusual step of suggesting they meet privately once the negotiations had concluded. After that, one thing had somehow led to another.
  
• As someone who’s planning on moving in with his boyfriend that his Catholic mother doesn’t know about, this makes me so inconceivably happy seeing this, seeing these lovely little interactions between people like me. Just thank you, thank you so much for writing this, Django!

• They’re spooning!!!

• I wonder how outskirts work on an ecumenopolis.
• Somnolence means sleepiness.
• Magesare expensive. All those material components, not even including pricier gem spells…
• Oh shit, backstory. Ral’s mom was injured in a cloth factory. This is 1800′s levels of factory unsafety here…
• And his father was a drunk. Just… Ral needs a hug.
• So Ral was with Elias, an artist.
• A minor nitpicky note, I wonder how the word ‘bohemian’ came to be in Ravnica? Some guy named Bohemia?
• This is actually a good point. Rain mage is seen as mocking here: Ral only ever refers to himself as a storm mage.
• Let’s also take an aside to say “f*ck you” to all bullying rich kids.

• “Here.” The man handed him a handkerchief. “You might want to clean yourself up a bit. You look like you’ve been in the wars.”
  
• Curious line. I’m assuming he means interguild conflict in general, unless (given it’s in a vaguely foreign style) he’s a planeswalker too.
• “Excellent,” the stranger said. “Then we have much to discuss.”
  He extended a hand, and Ral shook it.
  “Ral Zarek,” Ral said.
  “Bolas,” the stranger said. He grinned, his smile showing very white, slightly pointed teeth. “Nicol Bolas.”
  
• OH F–

That was a lot to take in! From more pieces falling into place, to seeing Tomik and Ral be a couple, to Ral’s early life in Victorian EnglandRavnica,to that f*cking twist at the end! Bolas really does take talent scouting to the next level…

We got New Prahv! Thopters! Fences! Bureaucracy! Boros-Azorius conflict! Androgynous angels! Dovin Baan cameo! Jeskai colors! Roasting Azor! Planeswalkers! Distrusting the Dimir! Pieces falling into place! Faeries! Lavinia? Puppet shows! Buying dinner for your boyfriend! Eating dinner with your boyfriend! Spooning with your boyfriend! Industrial Era factories! Poet lovers! Being so pretentious that you have a mage water your crops! Rich bullies! NICOL F*CKING BOLAS!!!

But when will the next Announcement Day be??? Stay tuned!