#ral zarek

Has anyone been keeping up with the new mtg chapters?! Omg I love Ral and Tomik so much!! Such precious boys!!

Not the wildest tone shift for a reprint, but definitely one of my favorites in recent memory~~~

corsairesix:

I’ve decided to become obsessed with the idea of Vraska, Kaya, and Ral Zarek being friends who hang out

They’re not a polycule but they are all gay

I’ve decided to become obsessed with the idea of Vraska, Kaya, and Ral Zarek being friends who hang out

YES MY BOYS!!!!!

Link to Kieran’s store for anyone who wishes for prints

Chapter One: The Gathering Storm

While we may be in the middle of a story drought, I can at least catch up on a proper online Magic Story! And while I have started War of the Spark: Ravnica, I haven’t finished it yet – it’ll be more of an overall review going over the essentials, tidbits, and oddities. But enough about Greg Weisman – time to see what Django Wexler can do!

• It’s gonna be interesting to see what’s gone over in the prequel, for that is what this is.
• It was autumn in Ravnica, and so it rained, day after day.
• …I have the sneaking suspicion I’m gonna have to set up a Greg Weisman roast jar.
• Compare this to how he started the online story:
  Hekara was waiting for me on the Transguild Promenade.
  All we get is someone called Hekara and a place.
• Django sets us up with a season, and a description. Not just raining, but day after day raining. It’s… dare I say… actual storytelling!
• Okay, I’m gonna try and limit my roasting of Greg Weisman throughout the rest of this. Promise.
• What a descriptive paragraph! The imagery!!! Rain marching down like a conquering army (foreshadowing!), drains vomiting up debris, long-forgotten oceans…! Oh, I missed this sort of writing!
• We’re following Ral for this story! In the neighborhood of Seven Swords, within which lies Frost Lane. Ye who wants to run a D&D Ravnica campaign, take note.
• Upscale shops can afford to have magical lights, but other stores make do with Victorian-era lamps. The Victorian is just a frame of reference for y’all.
• After all, he thought, with grim satisfaction, what’s the point in being a “rain mage” if you have to get wet?
  
• Goddamn I love this! Of course Ral, being a storm mage, can bend rain around him so he stays dry! I love these little uses of magic, like Jace projecting an illusion of alertness around himself when the Gatewatch first met Dovin Baan, or Chandra warming up soup after incinerating Ulamog and Kozilek.
• I love the information we get on Seven Swords. So much of Ravnica’s history has been preoccupied with guild conflict that the source of its name is lost to time – but what we do know is just so informative! It really helps flesh out Ravnica!
• It’s taking a lot of effort to not repost entire paragraphs of the story, let alone the entire thing, but it’s just so goddamn good!
• Well. Ral stared into the darkness, as though force of will could make it give up its secrets.
  
• Of course it won’t, Ral: Force of Will is a counterspell.
  
  *dodges rotten fruit flung in my direction*
  
• Django Wexler where have you been these past few weeks with your beautiful descriptive language?????

• A young woman breaking into Nivix? Who would want to – oh no. Not Rat. Anything but Rat!
• Hey now, Izzet isn’t guarded by madmen with flamethrowers. The Izzet are equal opportunity employers, first of all. Second, they’re flame spouters: the difference is really elementary. In this essay I will attempt to…
• Looks like Bolas is doing some good ol’ fashioned mind-control here! At least, I think that’s who the other scaly slithering mind is. We might get to see the death of Niv-Mizzet!
• I love how the Izzet have all the protection against magic at their disposal, but a person attached to a mundane kite can still slip through!
• Nowhere’s the mastermind of Bolas at work! To be fair, Greg does get into a bit of that in what I’ve read in the novel, but this is just the simple bits all coming together!
• Magical defenses? Just a kite. Air elementals to get it up there of course, nice touch, but diving in is mundane.
• All those alarm systems? Ral made them. And Bolas is blackmailing Ral.
• That vedalken who was replacing Ral for tonight? He just so happened to meet someone at an opera last night (which we get the name of a comedic opera in Ravnica, #worldbuilding), who is now on aforementioned kite about to slip past every defense he knows about when he turns them off.

• We’ve gotten mentions of posters here before, but I wonder how they’re made on Ravnica. Like, is there a printing press? Do magical brushes re-paint images a la Mickey’s Sorcerer’s Apprentice brooms?
• OH SHIT IT’S TEZZY-BOY!!! 
• Okay, Tezzy-boy? Ravnica ain’t a second-rate world. Then again, you’ve been to New Phyrexia, and it is pretty unique, I get it. Also Kaladesh, which I guess is technologically more advanced than Ravnica. If you think about it–
  
• “Yourmastertold me that once already,” Ral said. Tezzeret’s lip twitched, and Ral knew he’d scored.
  
• Getting him where it hurts!
• “As I said, I don’t understand why he extends his mercy, only that it rarely lasts.” Tezzeret pushed himself down from the stage.
  
• “I should know. Brought be back to life. I thought, ‘Huh, nice guy.’ Now I’m left in eternal servitude to him, so grains of salt and all that.” – Tezzy-boy, probably.
  
• Give it a few more pages, Ral: you’ll still only have one arrogant dragon to serve, but it’s not the one you had before.
• Beside him, something was rising out of the dust: a long-limbed, spider-like construct with a single glowing eye on a flexible stalk.
  
• …weird flex, Tezzeret, but okay. Maybe the minion budget is a little tighter than usual with Liliana on the payroll.
• Tezzeret, you fool! Ral is the storm!
• Ral carries a shield. Then again an Izzet gauntlet probably counts as a shield with how big it is. A delicate shield, but a shield nonetheless.
• Actually it’s just an electric shield, we learn later on – which is still impressive.
• Ral also has a trench coat.
• On his back, a bulge beneath his trench coat, was the Mizzium-Ion Electrostatic Accumulator, Mark IV, the very latest from the Laboratory of Storms and Electricity.
  
• Y’know, I should really make an award for Pretentious Titles of Pretentiousness. We don’t see ‘em often, but it’s still fun.
  
• The original long-ago inventor had intended her device to produce harmless entertainment for children’s parties. After the third fried clown, Ral had taken over the project for his own purposes.
  
• I’m giving this a Yes! Yes! Yes! Award, because it’s just hilarious.
• Ral, you’ve been played like a fiddle.

• So our Dimir mind mage knows she’s being controlled, but can’t do anything about it. That must be horrifying – like sleep paralysis except you’re committing a murder.
• Black-market Izzet artificers are a thing.
• This is a very interesting look into Niv-Mizzet’s room. Telescopes, looking outwards; books upon books; little machinery because he does thought-experiments.
• Also, he sleeps like a cat. Very important.
• Oh! We’re getting an important plot point from the novel!
• So y’know the whole Planar Beacon thing? How that was Niv-Mizzet’s idea and Ral built the thing? Yeah, Bolas planted that inside Niv’s head. Stellar move! That’s the mastermind we wanted to see!
• And of course, once you’ve proved your usefulness to Bolas, you’re discarded*
• *unless your name is Sarkhan Vol, which why did you leave him alive once he opened the Eye of Ugin? ‘Cause that led to Sarkhan doing the time-warp and bringing your dead twin back to… well not life, but existence let’s say. The same twin who’s now serving as your jailer. You set yourself up for your own downfall, Bolas.
• This also works in Bolas’ favor: a Dimir agent trying to kill the Izzet Guildmaster further sows dissension among the guilds.

• Viashino are described as dragon-like here. Which… nah, I’m not seeing.
  
• Two uniformed guards there recognized him and cleared the way, and he stalked past them, rain dripping from his coat onto the scarred concrete floor.
  
• “Well of course we let ‘im through! Not like there’s a shapeshifter in charge of a secret spy guild, is there?” – Izzet guard before being fired, probably.
• Elevators in Ravnica were designed by Bogo Sternwhistle, which what a name!
• Also it could probably just be this elevator, I get that, but still…
• Stenorian means loud and powerful.
• “How long have you known?”
  “That you are a Planeswalker? Since you first came here. The signs are not difficult to read, once you know the truth.”
  “Then why pretend ignorance?”
  Niv-Mizzet gave a dry chuckle. “In ten thousand years, I have found no tactic more effective than knowing more than you let on. I had no reason to interrupt your little game. Until now.”
• As funny as this is to think Niv-Mizzet knew about Ral the whole time, I wonder if it’s untrue. Bolas could’ve planted that juicy little tidbit in the agent’s mind, leaving it for Niv-Mizzet to use to gain leverage over Ral. I think it’s something he’d do.
• Yeah, Azor didn’t intend for a planeswalker to become the Living Guildpact. Heck, I don’t think he intended for anyone to become the Living Guildpact.
• Oh right! Remember when Ral Zarek killed Melek, Izzet Paragon, to become the mazerunner for the Izzet? Shame, too: it could’ve been a milestone for weird/elemental representation…
• So here, in short, is “Niv-Mizzet’s” plan:
• 1. Get all 10 guilds to agree.
• 2. Become the Guildpact
• 3. Beat Bolas.
• You can see how well that plan went. But hey, at least he’s fully fine with leaving the Izzet to accomplish this. And giving Ral the position of Guildmaster… how could he refuse?
• Come to think of it, with Ral going after Tezzeret, who is in charge of the Izzet now?
• “Leave the Dimir to me. If Lazav has thrown in his lot with Bolas, then we will simply need to replace him. No doubt one of his lieutenants will be unhappy with his guildmaster’s choice of loyalty.” – Niv-Mizzet
  
• Or her. Etrata’s still with the Dimir.
• Ah yes, the “Backup Plan”. Not Operation Desperation, which is the Backup Backup Plan. No, thisis the thing that Bolas planted in Niv-Mizzet’s mind – the Planar Beacon!

• Ral spikes his hair with elecrticity. Forget about spending hundreds on hair product – use STATIC!
• Ah yes, send letters to the Azorius, where Dovin Baan is working…

Oh my god… that was… THAT WAS AN ACTUAL STORY!!! Not a recap, not a teaser, not a recap – not those little samples in grocery stores to make you buy their product! This was an actual honest-to-gods story!!! And it’s so REFRESHING to read this descriptive language! To see people talking like people instead of what someone presumes to think that kids sound like! To be immersed in a well-loved and well-crafted world!

We got personified rain! Seven Swords! Practical magic! History! Silver Curtains! Rage! Kites! Mind-control! Planning! Comic operas! Security runes! Posters! Tezzy-boy! Insults! Planar ratings! Eye stalks! Mizzium-Ion Electrostatic Accumulator Mk IV! Fried Clowns! Diversions! Telescopes! Books! Adding secrets! Discarding! Incompetent guards! Bogo Sternwhistle! Dragons acting like cats (not to be confused with cat dragons)! Planeswalkers! Knowledge! Changing the Living Guildpact! Backup plans!

And the 2nd chapter’s already been out, and the 3rd got emailed today, so I can’t do a cliffhanger… um…

But will we get story for Core 2020? Stay tuned!

The Gathering Storm, Chapter 3

In my defense, I had to do five 30-minute shifts of carts in 90 degrees (Fahrenheit) heat. We got cold water and gatorade, but it was still exhausting. But enough about that, more actual story! Y’hear that, Greg? An actual story!!!

(Oh and if you are tired of me harping on about Greg Weisman, you can vent your frustration by voting for an icon that I have to keep ‘til the next main set! Pupper looks like he’s winning for now…)

• Ooh, I think this is the meeting where Vraska straight-up murders Isperia!
• Well of course there are guards everywhere – if all the guilds are called to a meeting, a fight’s bound to break out.
• Ah, there are Baan’s thopters! Wonder if after War of the Spark the Azorius ceased using them. Probably, all things considered.
• OH FUCK I JUST REALIZED.
  Dovin Baan got blinded in War of the Spark: Ravnica.
  He’s immune to Vraska’s petrification – he can’t see her!
• I thought this’d be poetic justice for Vraska, but now it looks like she got the short end of the stick…
• Spiked fences? I mean it does fit with the the whole uncaring government appeal, but you just know that at least 15 Raakdos cultists have impaled someone on ‘em.
• “All non-guildmembers must have their papers processed before entry,” the sergeant said. “Please wait your turn.”
  
• Isn’t Hekara an emissary? Isn’t Ral an emissary? Shouldn’t the process be expedited for them? Do you really want Rakdos himself to show up in New Prahv?
• Why is it so quiet in New Prahv? Do they fine their own guildmembers for noise violations?
• The homunculi here are described as ‘wizened’. Just how old can homunculi get?
• I should really stop asking so many questions.
• Angry noises. “Ah, I see the Boros are here.”
• I’d think that the Azorius would prefer round tables for this sort of thing, given how it features prominently in their logo, but I’m just an artist what do I know.
• Okay, so the lieutenant is letting her subordinates do all the arguing, but her boss is “Against the rear wall”. Implying that Aurelia is just leaning against the wall and just watching all this go down, and it’s hilarious.
• Aurelia’s features are described as androgynous.
• Of course not,“ the vedalken shot back. "We are the law.”

(Side note I am super upset that someone beat me to the punch on that joke, but Django deserves it.)

• Aurelia actually makes a good point. Someone may not be able to sue the government, but that doesn’t mean justice can’t be delivered against said government. Topical!
• Oh hey, I just noticed: the Jeskai-colored guilds are all together!
• If Isperia could foresee things like sphinxes sometimes do, it was probably a good idea to only have the representatives enter. Otherwise the guild subordinates would turn upon one another quicker than you can say “petrify”.

• Him? Is this vedalken Dovin Baan? If so he may have orchestrated only the guild officials having the conference…
• CALLED IT!!!
• Oh you bet your bottom dollar that he knows something about these recent matters!
• Kudos to Isperia for connecting other worlds to Azor.
• "At the same time, we have grown used to ignoring his … flights of fancy.” – Guildmaster “I will roast you within the bounds of the Law” Isperia
  

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!!!!!!!

• You know this is the worst she can legally say about the Azorius parun! Hot damn – from the Azorius no less! Nominated for Best Owns and Burns!
  
• “I assure you planeswalkers exist,” said Ral Zarek, a planeswalker.
  
• Immediately Aurelia is saying her guild alone could take on Bolas. Classic Boros.
• "At least some Ravnicans,” Ral said. “We know that Lazav and the Dimir are working with him.”
  
• And here we see Bolas’ dominoes start to fall…
• Mmm, I love a good “Jace is supposed to be the Guildpact” roast. I’m gonna miss that now…
• “Getting agreement will not be easy,” Aurelia said. “The Gruul will object on principle, and the Orzhov will consider only their own private advantage.”  
  
• More dominoes falling. Now we know why Bolas chose Domri, and why Kaya is on her mission.
• Ral Zarek has to convince all the guilds to come to the summit. What could go wrong? No seriously, Bolas has this set up so perfectly, is there any way this can go wrong?

• There’s a market in Azorius territory? God, that must be awful to work there… but then again they’d seem like the type to have their own coffee shops in-house.
• We need more faeries in magic. Give us a faerie planeswalker!
• This girl can’t be Rat: Ral can see her, and Django isn’t Greg Weisman.
• I like how Ral can sense lightning in clouds like Nissa can sense leylines. They’re so connected to their thing that they can sense it far away.
• Aha! Lavinia! She’s not exiled yet, so she’s still okay to be here.
• Good ol’ Lavinia. She should have her own detective series. I’d pay good money for that*.
• *as long as it’s not by Greg Weisman.
• And here’s more dominoes! They aren’t going to stop Ral from opposing Bolas, because Ral’s plan is exactly what Bolas wants!
• I wonder if ‘Lavinia’ is Lazav…

• I mean yeah, he was a born schemer. I’m guessing you just assume that, Ral. But it is obvious.
• I feel this hard. I want to help people, but I need to be somewhere else.
• Oh? An apartment? ARE WE GONNA SEE RAL AND TOMIK BEING A COUPLE???
• WE GET TO SEE RAL AND TOMIK BEING A GAY COUPLE!!! THANK YOU DJANGO WEXLER!!!
• Tomik stepped forward, and Ral leaned in and kissed him thoroughly. Finally Tomik broke away, shoved past Ral in spite of his mock complaints, and headed straight for the table.
  —
  "Something wrong?” Ral said, after some hesitation.
  “Oh.” Tomik laid down his fork and looked up. “You know. Guild business.”
  “Guild business.” They said it almost simultaneously, and Tomik smiled a little.
  —
  Tomik’s quick mind (and the way he fiddled with his glasses when he was flustered) had intrigued Ral, and he had taken the unusual step of suggesting they meet privately once the negotiations had concluded. After that, one thing had somehow led to another.
  
• As someone who’s planning on moving in with his boyfriend that his Catholic mother doesn’t know about, this makes me so inconceivably happy seeing this, seeing these lovely little interactions between people like me. Just thank you, thank you so much for writing this, Django!

• They’re spooning!!!

• I wonder how outskirts work on an ecumenopolis.
• Somnolence means sleepiness.
• Magesare expensive. All those material components, not even including pricier gem spells…
• Oh shit, backstory. Ral’s mom was injured in a cloth factory. This is 1800′s levels of factory unsafety here…
• And his father was a drunk. Just… Ral needs a hug.
• So Ral was with Elias, an artist.
• A minor nitpicky note, I wonder how the word ‘bohemian’ came to be in Ravnica? Some guy named Bohemia?
• This is actually a good point. Rain mage is seen as mocking here: Ral only ever refers to himself as a storm mage.
• Let’s also take an aside to say “f*ck you” to all bullying rich kids.

• “Here.” The man handed him a handkerchief. “You might want to clean yourself up a bit. You look like you’ve been in the wars.”
  
• Curious line. I’m assuming he means interguild conflict in general, unless (given it’s in a vaguely foreign style) he’s a planeswalker too.
• “Excellent,” the stranger said. “Then we have much to discuss.”
  He extended a hand, and Ral shook it.
  “Ral Zarek,” Ral said.
  “Bolas,” the stranger said. He grinned, his smile showing very white, slightly pointed teeth. “Nicol Bolas.”
  
• OH F–

That was a lot to take in! From more pieces falling into place, to seeing Tomik and Ral be a couple, to Ral’s early life in Victorian EnglandRavnica,to that f*cking twist at the end! Bolas really does take talent scouting to the next level…

We got New Prahv! Thopters! Fences! Bureaucracy! Boros-Azorius conflict! Androgynous angels! Dovin Baan cameo! Jeskai colors! Roasting Azor! Planeswalkers! Distrusting the Dimir! Pieces falling into place! Faeries! Lavinia? Puppet shows! Buying dinner for your boyfriend! Eating dinner with your boyfriend! Spooning with your boyfriend! Industrial Era factories! Poet lovers! Being so pretentious that you have a mage water your crops! Rich bullies! NICOL F*CKING BOLAS!!!

But when will the next Announcement Day be??? Stay tuned!