The schizoid dilemma is that the schizoid can be neither too close nor too far in emotional distance from another person without experiencing conflict and anxiety.
The central conflict of the schizoid is between his immense longing for relationship and his deep fear and avoidance of relationships (PDM Task Force, 2006). As Akhtar (1987) notes, while the schizoid is outwardly withdrawn, aloof, having few close friends, impervious to others’ emotions, and afraid of intimacy, secretly he is exquisitely sensitive, deeply curious about others, hungry for love, envious of others’ spontaneity, and intensely needy of involvement with others. When in relationships, the schizoid maintains a pattern of oscillating towards and away from intimacy, alternatively desiring, and being excited at the chance for contact, and becoming claustrophobic, smothered, choked, imprisoned and terrified of being devoured or smothered by the other. The schizoid then must break free and recover independence (Guntrip, 1969). The oscillation in and out of relationships is the real world enactment of these conflicts around involvement. The schizoid’s legendary avoidance of relationships reflects his assessment that abandonment of others is a lesser evil than facing engulfment and loss of self, despite his longing for relationships (McWilliams, 2004; Seinfeld, 1991).
So I made two memes to demonstrate the schizoid splitting. Just like borderlines who split between loved/hated and narcissists between admired/garbage, schizoids split too… Between feeling engulfed/alienated. Except the schizoid doesn’t have a “positive” split. Both splits are painful.
TW: mention of psychological and physical self harming
Questions:
Have you ever tried schizoid self-conversion (trying to convert yourself to be an extrovert and social)?
Did any of you view this time period as traumatic in a way, since you’re inducing emotions like engulfment, and feelings of being psychologically smothered or buried alive?
I ask because I’m going through this right now. I don’t have a GED, no job, and I’m not in college. I can’t do any of these things due to disability. But I want to make my mom proud of me by reaching at least one milestone, such as friendship. Also, all of my relatives have insulted her and called her a bad parent. I want them to admire my mom.
But I feel like this self-conversion attempt is a form of self-harm. I used to cut and burn myself and this feels the same. I’ve made an online friend (who I’ll be meeting in-person tomorrow) and my mental health is suffering. I was so much more content before this and I want to go back to being isolated. But I feel so selfish because I know my isolation hurts my mom.
I don’t seek out romantic relationships and they feel boring and stressful to me. I don’t think I’m 100% aromantic since I can still feel romantic attraction, I just lack that drive to act on it and prefer to create the relationship as a fantasy instead, rather than acting it out in real life. And that’s fulfilling for me.
So I have been having trouble figuring out a label for my romantic orientation. And I decided on lithromantic.
I wonder how common this romantic orientation is in schizoids. Anyone else relate?
So there’s a lot of posts differentiating between laziness and executive dysfunction and that’s all well and good but can we please acknowledge that lack of motivation and interest can also be symptoms of things and they don’t necessarily mean people are lazy either
Am I going to be like this forever? Am I doomed to pass by every important event in my life feeling nothing, merely going through the motions, pretend to experience the emotions I’m supposed to? Am I going to die like this?
Me before finding out I have schizoid personality disorder. I would lay awake at night wondering, is anybody like me out there? Now whenever I have trouble with my symptoms, I read things online posted by other schizoids and feel so much relief that there are people out there who experience life the way I do and that I’m not alone in this.
Anhedonia is brutal. There’s no escape from it. Everything that was good becomes boring, empty, and meaningless. It’s like eating your favorite foods, but they all turn into ashes in your mouth.
Am I going to be like this forever? Am I doomed to pass by every important event in my life feeling nothing, merely going through the motions, pretend to experience the emotions I’m supposed to? Am I going to die like this?
