#aka my missing noon post

Shinsou, after a long day of hero training: *collapses on his bed*

Dabi: Hey, kid, eat something.

Shinsou: Thanks, Dad. Didn’t think you’d care.

Dabi: You’re my son, even if I’m a villain and you’re training to be a hero, I’m still going to feed you and care about you, I’m not some monster.

Shinsou: We’ll, I just figured you’d probably kick me out by now because I’m trying to be a hero. How do you not feel like I’m a burden or a safety concern?

Dabi: Because I see a kid who needs someone and I can at least give you a home and food. We’ve already agreed to keep our worlds separated, there’s no safety issue, just me trying to be a good dad.

Shigaraki: I’m mature!

Toga: Wanna go on the merry-go-round at the park with me and Dabi?

Shigaraki, who didn’t have a proper childhood: Fuck yes.

Sigma: You’re just upset I won’t focus on you instead of my work.

Nikolai: No, I’m upset you won’t appreciate how amazing my ass looks in this dress, get it right.

Sigma: Unfortunately, I have a clown boyfriend.

Bram: Why ‘unfortunately’?

*giant bang in the distance*

Sigma: Because whatever that was, it was probably him.

Sero: Mr. Aizawa, my mod broke and I can’t find my spare one!

Aizawa: Spare pieces and mods are in my desk in my room, don’t let my cats out.

Sero: Aren’t we not supposed to have cats on campus?

Aizawa: Aren’t I not supposed to encourage or accommodate students with addictions?

Sero: Fair point. Thank you, I won’t let them out.

Fyodor: It came to my attention that Sigma said Nikolai’s ass is flat.

Sigma: Not this again.

Fyodor: Please, he’s come crying to me every hour for the last two days.

Sigma: God dammit.

Shinsou: Sup, Grandpa!

Endeavor: What?

Shoto: Hello, Father. This is your grandson, Hitoshi, Touya’s son, I brought him home for our study project.

Endeavor: …What?

Shoto: We’ll be in my room studying.

Endeavor, nearly bursting a blood vessel to figure it out: …What?

Roxy: So if Foxy was like a dad to you but Bonnie was your dad and Bonnie was like a dad to me but Foxy was my dad, does that mean we’re brother and sister?

Monty: Yes, now. *tries to drown her with a pool floatie*

Shoto: Hey, nephew.

Shinsou: Hey, uncle.

Aizawa: What?

Shinsou: My dad is his brother.

Shoto: Yeah, my oldest brother is his adoptive dad.

Aizawa: I have uncle and nephew in the same class. I’m not dealing with any family drama, leave it at home. Onto the lesson.