Prompt #40

“And even through it all, all the hardships, all the pain - you’re right back where you started”

“What ? — what the hell are you talking about ?!”

“Look around [name] ! No one is here, everyone is gone - they’re safe..but you’re not, just as it was before”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about”

“But I do, the sad little train wreck, love must not be affordable for you - you spend it all for others but no one gives you a cent. And now they just - poof - gone”

Mimosa:My plans for this week are to go on missions, get Yuno to socialize more, and overthrow the government.

Mimosa, the next day, staring at all the elves: This is not what I meant by overthrowing the government.

Mimosa:Excuse my language, but what the fuck is that?

Alecdora:It’s a statue. I made it with Siren and Hamon.

Mimosa:It’s staring into my soul. William Vangeance is staring into my soul and I hate it.

David:Did you have to put it in the middle of the communal cafeteria? It really is staring into our souls…

Yuno:Your obsession with our captain is getting very concerning. 

Alecdora:

Alecdora:…You’re right. It isstaring into my soul. It has to go. 

*The Golden Dawn dancing off the Spade invaders*

David: We’re not scared of you, and you’re going down!

Letoile: David.

Letoile: David, they have devil powers.

Letoile: David, they have a member of the Dark Triad with them.

Letoile: DAVID, WE ARE GOING TO FUCKING DIE!

Letoile: Wait, I have Another Atlas, IT’S PREPARE TO DIE LOSERS-

Tyki: Anything is a hearse if you move a dead body in it!

(During Black Widow when Natasha and Melina are swaping identities)

Natasha: So, all I have to do is act like a pig obsessed killer? Easy.

Melina: And I have to act gay.

(Bonus)

Y/N, standing behind them: Do I have to fuck your mom?

Natasha:No!

Shinsou: Are you sure that me being in the same school as your little brother isn’t dangerous? Aren’t you only a villain to kill your dad, wouldn’t that mean me being even relatively close to your brother would be a safety issue for me and him?

Dabi: You make it sound like leaving villainy, adopting a random street kid, and beating the generational trauma in my family wouldn’t piss my father off more than trying to kill him.

Shinsou, after a long day of hero training: *collapses on his bed*

Dabi: Hey, kid, eat something.

Shinsou: Thanks, Dad. Didn’t think you’d care.

Dabi: You’re my son, even if I’m a villain and you’re training to be a hero, I’m still going to feed you and care about you, I’m not some monster.

Shinsou: We’ll, I just figured you’d probably kick me out by now because I’m trying to be a hero. How do you not feel like I’m a burden or a safety concern?

Dabi: Because I see a kid who needs someone and I can at least give you a home and food. We’ve already agreed to keep our worlds separated, there’s no safety issue, just me trying to be a good dad.

Shinsou: Mr. Aizawa, I got adopted over the break!

Aizawa: That’s great, kid. What’s the family like?

Shinsou: *remembers he got adopted by one of the most wanted criminals in the country*

Shinsou: …It’s great, he’s a younger single dad and his friends are all my honorary uncles and aunt.

Aizawa: Is he treating you well?

Shinsou: *remembers the chaos that was playing Cards Against Humanity with the LOV the night before*

Shinsou: Yeah, we’ve been bonding all weekend.

Aizawa: Sounds great, kid.

Dabi: Bitch, I’m a father!

Shigaraki: What?

Toga: He found a kid while he was out committing crimes and he doesn’t have a home, so Dabi is taking him in as his son.

Shigaraki: …

Shigaraki: That is a whole UA student.

Twice: At least it isn’t half of one?

Spinner: He has a point.

Shinsou: So…what’s happening again?

Dabi: I’m your father now, these are your uncles and aunt you can constantly ignore if you want.

Shinsou: I probably will. No involving me in your crimes and we’ll be fine.

Shigaraki, who was put in charge of babysitting some kid Dabi brought back from his various crimes: What do I do with a kid!?

Kid: Daddy?

Shigaraki: I will kill anyone and anything that causes you even an ounce of emotional distress up to and including myself.

Shigaraki: I’m mature!

Toga: Wanna go on the merry-go-round at the park with me and Dabi?

Shigaraki, who didn’t have a proper childhood: Fuck yes.

Shoto: Touya, this isn’t you!

Dabi: Pick me.

Shoto: Okay, I’m trying to save you and you just meme at me like we’re not fighting!?

Dabi: I mean…yeah?

Dabi: I’m the smartest person to ever exist! My plan is perfect!

Shigaraki: Didn’t you trip over your own foot yesterday after answering ‘seven’ to what five times two was?

Toga: Yeah and that other time you said that orange and white make blue?

Sako: Or the time you forgot the word ‘infant’ for a solid half hour and spent the half hour trying to figure it out?

Twice: And that time you forgot that birds exist.

Spinner: Or when you had a breakdown and cried over pizza being triangles in the shape of a circle in a square box.

Nikolai: Siggy-Wiggy UwU.

Sigma: I’m going to jump from the casino.

Sigma: You’re just upset I won’t focus on you instead of my work.

Nikolai: No, I’m upset you won’t appreciate how amazing my ass looks in this dress, get it right.

Nikolai, who accidentally hotboxed Sigma’s office: Isn’t the sky pretty at sunset?

Sigma, high out of his mind: I think the smell of the number purple looks beautiful, yeah.

Dabi: You’re being over-dramatic.

Shigaraki: I don’t have to take this from the man who cried after stepping on an M&M thinking it was a ladybug!

Sigma: I will end your bloodline.

Nikolai: I’m gay, the bloodline already ended with me, bitch.

Sigma: …

Sigma: I will end your parents’ bloodline.

Nikolai: Oooh, can you toss me off the casino to do it?

Bram: I’m holding an intervention.

Nikolai: Why?

Bram: Because you two’s fighting is getting in the way of everyone working together properly and I’m tired of it.

Sigma: Tell him to stop being so reckless then.

Nikolai: Tell him to stop being so snarky and mean!

Bram: Time out! Both of you!

Nikolai, watching Sigma: Beautiful.

Sigma: What?

Nikolai: I said you’re full of shit!

Sigma: And you’re the worst person to exist, your point?

Nikolai, quietly to himself: Ow, why did that hurt?

Nikolai: Sorry, I don’t care.

Sigma: I’M BLEEDING!

Nikolai: You’ll be fine, sleep it off.

Sigma: Unfortunately, I have a clown boyfriend.

Bram: Why ‘unfortunately’?

*giant bang in the distance*

Sigma: Because whatever that was, it was probably him.

Nikolai: I could go for caramel popcorn.

Fyodor: I’m not your husband, get your own pregnancy cravings.

Sigma: How big of a container of popcorn?

Fyodor: We’re gathered here today because SOMEBODY couldn’t not murder someone for ONE DAY!

Nikolai: You gotta admit it was funny for Fukuchi to die choking on a squeaker.