Most of Dazai’s best moments/turning points were during the sunset:

“The Armed Detective Agency will oversee during the twilight.” (Season 3, episode 11)

1. When he found Atsushi

2. When he first completed a mission with a partner

3. When he considered Atsushi’s idea to team up with the Port Mafia (meaning he’d face his past)

4. When his best friend Oda, died in his arms (and he decided to save lives and be on the good side)

• maybe he has a thing for the bright red orange hue (?)

oooops…

15 SKK

Dazai: Have my plans ever been wrong?

Chuuya, mimicking in a high pitched voice: Have my plans ever been wrong?

Dazai:

Chuuya:

Chuuya:Reminder that I’m very sweet and endearing so be nice to me.

Dazai:Or what?

Chuuya:I’ll punch your lights out.

Dazai: Name one mean thing that I’ve ever done.

Chuuya: You tried to convince me that eggs weren’t real.

Mori, at Chuuya and Dazai: Are you two together?

Mori:Because if so I feel bad for Chuuya.

Chuuya:

Dazai:

Dazai: I fucking feel bad for him too.

Chuuya: tell me why you’re here so i can hurry up and kill you

Dazai: lol okay so first of all i sent a letter to the higherups saying that if i die all the secrets of the mafia will be revealed :3c so if you kill me you’ll be seen as a traitor to the mafia and they’ll either kill you or worse xoxo ♡

Chuuya:

Dazai: *gets hit by a car*

Chuuya: Are you okay!?

Dazai: Please.. i need my phone…

Dazai: *opens twitter*

Dazai: LMAOOO Y'ALL GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED

Albatross:Chuuya, what would you rather be: a lion or a panda?

Chuuya:I’mme. Why would Iwant to be anything else?

Lippmann:I’m not sure you realize how psychologically healthy that actually is.

[In a bar, someone tells Chuuya to quiet down]

Chuuya:You listen to me, you bitch.

Dazai:Get him, banshee.

Chuuya:I will speak at whatever volume I choose, and if you don’t like it, you can suck my BIG FAT DICK!

Dazai, about Chuuya: I told my partner he looks like an angel and now he’s twisting the fabric of reality by his own holy presence and sheer cosmic power. Please help.

Dazai:There’s also way more eyes than I am comfortable with.

Chuuya:I made the right choice, not having a family. I should’ve had a dog though.

Akutagawa:Well, you could’ve had dogs.

Chuuya:No, not with Dazai. He never saw anything he loved that he didn’t want to kick it just to see if it would still come back.

Albatross, texting: i’m leaving rn

Chuuya, texting back: Kys

Albatross:what????

Chuuya:Keep yourself safe

Chuuya:Are you just gonna stand there? Do something!

Dazai:What the hell do you want me to do?

Chuuya:I want you to have some balls and act like you care about me!

Dazai: Slug, you need to stop being such a bitch!

Chuuya:Call me a bitch again. Do it. Call me a bitch again.

Dazai:… You are… acting… like a… bad partner.

Chuuya:That’s what I thought.

15!Chuuya:The bonus about being on a team with me is that people can’t read me, because I can’t read myself. I’m a loose canon.

15!Dazai:You’re illiterate!

Chuuya: You did stop loving me, to leave without saying anything.

Dazai:Don’t all partnerships have challenges?

Chuuya:It’s not love what you did.

Dazai:No, it’s cowardice. You know, I never knew the difference between cowardice and courage until you.

Chuuya: Are you trying to flatter me?

Dazai:Don’t kill me.

Chuuya:You were this close to having it all. I don’t think you’ll respect me if I don’t kill you. You won’t love me if I don’t kill you.

Dazai:Can I beg to differ?

Chuuya:No.

Dazai: I don’t want to kill you.

Chuuya:You already did. It’s my turn.

Chuuya: Hypothetically. A man who has loathed you, tried to kill you, has hurt you and seen you imprisoned… walks into a room… and tells you he loves you. What do you do?

Dazai: First… try and start breathing again.

Chuuya: And then?

[they rush at each other and kiss]

Chuuya: Sometimes I think you’re the only person who really knows me. You look at me and I can tell you sense all of me. 

Dazai: Your greatness, your strangeness, your fucked-upedness, your lies. 

Chuuya: My lies? 

Dazai: You do love me.

Chuuya: I intended to be all calm and high-handedly bitchy with you, Mackerel. But I am, unfortunately, not that person.

[Chuuya punches Dazai hard in the stomach]

Kunikida, texting Dazai: Are you alive or are u the body they found on trail by Slum Cerk an Sunbury Rd

Beast!Dazai:My dear, I woke up one morning and found myself boss of the Port Mafia. God knows, there were other things I loved in life more than power.

Beast!Chuuya:Then you should have said no.

Ranpo:Maybe Mr Fancy Hat’s dead.

Dazai:No way that’s true. As Chuuya says when he sees deodorant, “I’m not buying it.”

Kunikida:Dazai, he might actually be dead.

Dazai: Oh, Kunikida. Zombies can’t die. This is some sort of scam. If he were dead, we would be hearing the sounds of children singing in the streets.

Atsushi:Why would a mafia executive fake his own death?

Dazai:The same reason he visits Mexico once a year and sucks the blood from all the goats. For kicks.

Dazai: How best to describe Chuuya? I would say he’s blessedly unburdened with the complications of a university education, but give him an ax and he’s second to none. Though you wouldn’t want him as your barrister. Don’t let him fucking see this.

Chuuya: If Dazai and I were to ever have had a child, I’d like to imagine it would look like him (points to taxidermy baby armadillo). Small and hard.

Yosano: Why are you sad?

Kenji: How did you know I’m sad

Yosano: Well… You’re dressed in sad colors. Your reading a sad book and you’re wearing a badge that says ‘i’m sad ask my why’.

Kenji:Oh..

Ranpo: How do you think the car takes a screenshot?

Dazai: Maybe by pressing the accelerator and the brake at the same time?

Kunikida: For the last time, GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY CAR!

Dazai: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, ‘Are we about to kiss?’

Dazai: Doesn’t work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.

*after Dazai’s yet another suicide attempt*

*in the hospital*

Atsushi: What happened to him? Is everything alright?

Doctor: Don’t worry we’re waiting for his x-ray to come in.

Dazai: but I’ve never dated anyone named Ray.

Doctor:

Doctor: we might need a brain scan as well.