When I was young, I believed in fairytales—or at least I wanted to. I wanted to be a princess and be rescued and taken care of. But no one ever told me that once the princess was rescued, married and set up in her own castle, it wouldn’t be very fun. It’s no fun living like that, just because someone somewhere said that’s how it’s supposed to be done. After I ditched my crown, I went through a bitter cynical phase. I scoffed at the idea of soulmates. I didn’t believe in romantic ideals or the poetry of love. I absorbed the ideals of the people around me and found myself thinking that we’re each compatible with a number of people in this lifetime. It’s all about who we choose to love. Now, the smarter, older me is calling bullshit. There’s a reason why so much has been written about that once-in-a-lifetime kind of love—it actually exists. Whether we meet or choose our soulmate in this life—that’s another story. But soulmate love exists. I know this deep in my bones. And although I’m confident in this deep type of connection between two people, I don’t believe in fairytales. I don’t see them as the same, and I think that’s precisely why so many people mix them up. The love we crave doesn’t look anything like what it’s supposed to. It’s not always pretty—or happy. It’s not the loss of common sense and spontaneous bursts of wonderfulness. It’s not someone doing everything we’d want them to. And it’s not two people being in such a people-pleasing mode that they stop living authentically happy and being true to themselves. Soulmate love will never be perfect, because if it was, it would lack the necessary ingredient to be a soulmate: the ability to change us. Change only comes from opposition, and only a soulmate can be a loving opposition that doesn’t try and change us, but instead inspires change within us and our lives. The soulmate love that we crave is dirty and imperfect. It’s messed up and problematic at times, but it’s also in our veins, and no matter how hard we try, we just can’t quit it. It’s sleeplessness at 2 am, and a hunger we can’t satisfy. It’s not about living a life that looks good to others—it’s about living a life that feels good all the way down to our inner soul. This is not the stuff of fairytales, because loving like this takes bloody courage—the courage to let go of everything we’re supposed to do, including how we’re supposed to love. It’s letting go of how two people should live their lives, and instead journeying together to find out what works best for them. It’s about loving freely so that not only will there be space in our togetherness, there will be fluidity to it as well. It’s the courage to stand apart from everyone else with confidence, knowing we’re living the life that’s best for us. Being soulmates isn’t a choice—we can’t choose the person we feel a connection that goes beyond reason with—but embarking on a journey with our soulmate is.
Sometimes we aren’t yet ready for the type of love that a soulmate can offer. It’s a gut-wrenching, honestly authentic love that rips our hearts from our chest. But oh, it’s also so very lovely. And that’s what keeps us coming back for more. We all have the ability to choose who we pursue romantically. Sometimes it’s easier to take the path of least resistance, but no great love story ever started because it was easy for two people to be together. Greatness can’t be born from simplicity. Great love is born from challenges and the ability to overcome them. It’s walking through darkness with the faith that there will be light on the other side. It’s the math problem that just can’t be solved. It’s everything we never knew we wanted and needed. It’s not knowing how the story will turn out, but being happy to even be a part of it. It’s not believing in happy endings, because choosing soulmate love is just the start of a journey. It’s a journey of love and self-discovery that will wind itself around our hearts, and bloom without us even realizing it. It’s smiling for no reason, and collarbone kisses. It’s the love that we feel not in our hearts, but in our souls. That is the difference. Are we ready and willing to give up the good and go for the great, the extraordinary—to choose life and love with a soulmate?
WhileCall me by your name is about young love and heartbreak, Find Me is about hope and patience.
And if you think that the book only got sequel bcs it got lit, trust me, read the last part of cmbyn, especially the last pages, and try reconsidering it - because the hints of possible sequel were there.
hello!! i’ve been getting quite a lot of asks about bullet journaling, so i decided to make this post to share some tips + information about it!
what is a bullet journal?
a bullet journal is a super flexible and customisable all-in-one system that allows you to quickly organise information
it can combine a planner, to-do list, diary, notebook + much more!
the official bullet journal website (i strongly recommend you go through this, it’s very informative - but don’t feel limited to the ideas on the website!)
how does it help with productivity?
simple, effective information logging that only takes a few minutes
you can work out what system works best and helps you be as productive as possible
keeps all your information in one place - increased organization helps you be more productive!
creates a habit of planning time
allows you to see all the tasks you have to complete
you can use it together with the pomodoro method! next to each task, draw out one box to represent one pomodoro, and cross them out as you go
it forces you to want to finish tasks because they’re written down somewhere
gives you a sense of achievement as you go through each task!
how do i pick a notebook?
picking a suitable notebook is really important: you’re going to want to get a notebook that you will want to use or bullet journaling can become pointless!
consider size first - if you’re going to be carrying it around everywhere, go for something light, portable and durable
if you’re going to be leaving it at home most of the time/want more space to work with, get something larger
consider getting a notebook with a pocket in the back if you want to carry around post-its and the like!
do you work better with lines/grids/blank paper? i’d say grid paper is the quickest and tidiest to work with, but if you want more freedom with your bullet journal, you could try lined/blank paper.
remember, there’s no specific notebook for a bullet journal - go for something you want to use and are comfortable with!!
here are some examples of different notebooks used:
a few things to consider as you begin your venture into bullet journaling:
key:
the bullet journal website goes through how you can use different symbols for different forms of information e.g. box for tasks, triangle for events
you can develop your own key that is more relevant to your life and schedule! for example, you might want to use a clock symbol for a deadline/an exclamation mark for an assessment date
i’d recommend using the first page in your journal as an index/contents page so that you can keep track of where your important pages are (like study schedules, book lists, assessment dates)!
colour-coding:
this obviously works better for some people than others. i like to keep my colour scheme limited to 2 or 3 colours because colours don’t really work for me - but if you want to use a colour-coding system, go ahead!
e.g. instead of just writing “revise for history test” write “make flashcards on the cold war”, “do practice paper questions from chapter 3″ etc. underneath!
this is probably my favourite part about using a bullet journal: making one big task into several smaller ones lets me see clearly what i have to get done and makes me feel more accomplished as i move through a task
also, it lets me plan how to finish a task before i start it
limit yourself to how many tasks you can migrate a day - this stops you from putting things off for another day and forces you to get at least a specific amount of work done each day
this sounds dumb but figure out what is the most satisfying way to cross out a task
you can tick, shade in, highlight or put a cross through your tasks, so try out some methods to figure out what you feel is the most satisfying!
sometimes when i’m brain-dead and losing the will to live i just tell myself “another hour and i can colour that box in. won’t that be the best feeling” and then i get through it
don’t overcomplicate it!
you don’t have to use a lot of colour or different fonts if you don’t want to
but if you want to do that and it works for you, go ahead!
my advice would be to develop your own style of bullet journaling and stick to it - consistency will avoid wasting time on deciding how your spread is going to look like today!
i really really hope this was helpful! feel free to tag me in your bullet journal posts with #hi xuanlin and i’ll definitely reblog them :^) and if you ever want to talk to me about bullet journals/anything at all, my ask is always open!!
i remember this vividly, im walking down the street with my old driver and we go to a restaurant nearby my house and we manage to get into the VIP tables. we see kathryn bernardo and daniel padilla being lovely dovey; thats cute i love kathniel. all of the sudden, im not with my driver, but im with my best friend and we’re sitting down on one of the tables and then i hear it. i hear win metawin’s voice laughing with bright vachirawit’s. i turn around i see them and their crew, sitting next to us, and i screech to my best friend “HOLY SHIT ITS WIN AND BRIGHT”. they hear me, of course they do, they’re right beside me, and they turn to face me and smile. i cry. im actually crying, and they come to sit on our table, and suddenly im stoic. i dont want to weird them out because im an uncontrollable fan. so you know what i do? i start talking fast and praising their acting skills and telling them how much i love their delivery of lines, especially to win.
