After losing his parents (they’re not dead or anything– their mansion is just so huge that he can’t find them), Wayne Bruce draws inspiration from the happiest memories of his childhood– going to theme parks with all their animal-themed characters– and walks the streets of his city dressed as its new mascot (while boosting the reputation of his tragically-maligned favorite animal at the same time!)
What he doesn’t realize is just how many people have a debilitating phobia of bats.
Gotham discourse: Batman is actually Mothman in disguise, proof below
1) Is summoned by a giant lamp
2) Only appears at night
3) Has cute ears
4) flies?
5) Weakness is a giant net
- Tim Drake blogging anonymously from an encrypted computer holding back tears because his dad said he couldn’t patrol with three broken ribs and a concussion.
The Joker is a specialized predator who thrives inside his very specific ecosystem niche and would be absolutely brutalized outside of it. He might do okay in Metropolis maybe because Superman is fairly similar to Batman, but I don’t care what DC comics says, if he were to tangle with Flash? The Lanterns? Diana, aka “When I deal with my rogues, I deal with them”? Utterly pasted, clown-makeup smear on the pavement at 100 mph
And don’t get me started on how poorly he’d deal with ANY of the Avengers, Spidey and Iron Man are both funnier than he is and the X-Men would just be like “oh this is a refreshing break from trips to hell and space zombies” and bring a picnic to their beat-up-the-clown fest
He might do okay against Reed Richards since his whole thing is about the dangers of obsession but the moment he crossed Ben, Johnny, Sue, or—god help him—Victor von Fucking Doom, he’d end up in the hospital for life
… Captain America would deck him.
He might actually do okay against Captain America, but only Steve, because Steve has a number of thematic and ethical parallels to Batman that would allow Joker to actually meaningfully oppose him. Bucky or Sam, on the other hand, would put a bullet in his kneecap and call it a day.
Spider-Man has a strict No Kill Rule too, but he could call anyone and Joker would die via overprotective older heroes who knew him as a teen just starting out.
It wouldn’t even get to the kill rule point, Joker needs a dour and serious opposition force in order to thrive and him fighting Spider-Man would play out like his fight against Terry McGinnis in Batman Beyond where he just gets verbally roasted for four straight hours and starts crying because the spider-child in the rainbow onesie is being mean to him
Yeah no. The Joker can’t do shit against Superman
Comic is Adventures of Superman Vol 2 #14
The only reason that The Joker is still alive is because Batman is one of the few heroes that truly believes that even the most evil of people can become better
Oh I didn’t even know about this! Joker does have good showings against Superman though in a few of the other continuities, but this is the most efficient verbal takedown of him I’ve ever seen
Also I think after this Batman comes along and chastises Clark for not fighting Joker the right way and Bruce set this up in order to test Clark and Clark failed and Superman IIRC responds by setting the bat jet on fire with heat vision.
Those mods that replace female characters with male characters in games but keep the female animations really highlight how fucking insane and ridiculous the animations for women in video games usually are
Serious spine injury someone take that thing to the vet!
Not exactly shoes made for cat burgling, but we think Selina Kyle wouldn’t be able to resist snatching this pair for herself! On sale now for $100.00, if you love the coolest of cats, Catwoman, then order yourself a pair of these today!
Every week I do a live stream that’s audience participation called The Jadon May Draw Clubhouse with Chris Gugliotti and this week I was given the suggestion of a”sweater wearing Michael Caine” I think I nailed it. Check us out on YouTube
