#boko no hero academia
Iida: when did you pick out our kids’ names?
Aoyama: remember the day when you helped me during the provisional license exam? a non-creepy amount of time after that.
Bakugou: you’re an old, single loser who is never going to have any friends.
Midnight: you’re a little cunt.
Momo: I need some dekusquad drama, stat!
Deku: I don’t think we’re that dramatic.
Momo: I’ve been gone for one week. Iida and Aoyama are dating and they’ve killed a person.
Every time I see Lil Nas X with his red hair, black Kirishima grips my brain like a vice, and all I can think about is he.
Deku: I look like an asparagus.
Todoroki: but a very, very cute asparagus.
Shinso: from now on, dad, if anyone laughs at you, they’ve gotta go through me.
Present Mic: really? anyone? what about the Hulk riding a rhinoceros? would you stop him from laughing?
Shinso: wait, is the Hulk laughing, or the rhinoceros?
Present Mic: both, but the rhinoceros doesn’t know why. he just tries to fit in.
Kaminari: *mad bc Aizawa told him to stop playing guitar at 3 am* it’s a good thing you weren’t John Lennon’s teacher.
Aizawa: if I were John Lennon’s teacher, he’d still be alive.
Aoyama: *admiring Iida* our babies will be smart and beautiful.
Todoroki: not to mention imaginary.
Aoyama: something’s wrong with me.
Deku, to Todoroki: i told you if we were patient, he’d figure it out for himself.
Tetsutetsu: I think it’s pretty sexist of you to say a dad can’t stay home with his children.
Kendo: you know what else is sexist, the phrase “suck it,” yet here we are.
Eraserhead: *sarcastically* thanks for waking me up.
Present Mic: I WOKE YOU UP FORTY MINUTES AGO!
Eraserhead: well you didn’t do a very good job.
Uraraka: 30 years from now, if you’re still single and things don’t work out with me and Deku, you and I can give it a go.
Todoroki: I appreciate the offer, but if things don’t work out with you two, I’m swooping in on Midoriya like a vulture.
Aoyama: if not your kids, who’s gonna be friends with mine?
Deku: they will find other friends.
Aoyama: oh, sure, because Iida’s DNA plus my DNA equals a kid who knows how to make friends. grow up!
Bakugou: hey, you look good today.
Kirishima: what happened? what’s wrong? just tell me. I can take it.
Bakugou: nothing, I just felt bad about being mean to you, so I’m being nice.
Kirishima: oh, okay. sorry, I wasn’t ready for it. try again.
Bakugou: you look handsome.
Kirishima: nope, still freaking me out.
Aoyama: I had to stop at Midoriya’s and help him solve string theory.
Todoroki:what??
Aoyama: yeah, it turns out the answer is knots.
Iida: that’s cute, but you can’t have knots in more than four dimensions.
Aoyama: ummm, you can if you consider them sheets *walks away*
Iida and Todoroki:?!?!?!
Aoyama: if I saw you going out with another person, I’d be pretty upset.
Iida: thank you, not just for being upset, but for believing that could happen.
