#brendon roscoe

anyways happy birthday to brendon roscoe and brendon roscoe only

you’re in his dms. i’m a roadie on his exhausting tour to support his band’s breakthrough album. we are not the same.

it be like this

Audrey: I’m a transgender woman.

Brendon: okay, but you still have a man’s body.

Audrey: you’re right, we should probably bury this dead guy instead of talking about gender.

Brendon: I’ll get the shovels.

Brendon: have a safe flight.

Ryan: I have no say in the matter.

Brendon, driving off: die then.

Dallon: [orders food in fluent French to impress Brendon]

McDonald’s employee:what?

Brendon, into the microphone: how’s everybody doing tonight?

Crowd:WOO

Ryan, from the back in a normal voice: it’s been a tough few months.

Ian: I never let anything like common sense or the concern from dear friends get in the way of me having a good time.

Brendon, tired: god, I really wish you would.

Sisky: Ryan, you get all my uwus.

Ryan: I what??

Brendon:

Ryan:

Brendon: he loves you.

Ryan: oh. Uh, uwu you too kid.

Pete: are any of you straight?

Brent: *raises hand*

Joe: *raises hand*

Spencer: *raises hand*

Ryan: *slowly puts his hand up*

Brendon: *grabs Ryan’s hand, interlocks their fingers and brings it back down*

Ryan, watching Brendon from a distance: he could kill me anytime and I’d thank him.

William: I’d thank him too.

His Side: we do it for the girls and the gays, that’s it!

Ryan: you know, you look a lot like my next boyfriend.

Brendon: and you look exactly like the guy I turned down two seconds from now.

Brendon: the only straight I am is a straight up bitch.