#bruises

sad alchemists

Can’t go wrong with chucks, thigh highs, and bruises.

I took pictures of my bruises from Tuesday happy hour last night. I’ll post a set later, but I really liked this belfie (yeah, I said belfie), so I thought I’d share. Happy almost Friday!

I feel like art when people leave behind reminders of our time together. They leave impressions on my body and mind. Bruises, marks, soreness, and pain. Memories, thoughts, feelings, and mindfucks.

Before, I’m just a blank canvas. Afterwards, I’m a masterpiece.

Daily Picture Assignment #92

My nicely bruised butt after the con this weekend..

I’m exhausted and dropping from the con this weekend. Overall, I’m really glad I went. There were some bad times, including some really low points, but on balance it was a lot of fun. I played with a lot of different people, and went to some useful classes.

I actually barely played with Reaction Junkie, which was disappointing, but did eventually lead to him resolving to play with me more at home, to take advantage of the amazing resource he has living with him.

I hope we’re able to follow through on that resolve. I miss being used by and useful to him. Not only does it make me feel needed and wanted, it makes me more cognizant of my place and my role.

I’m going to help him remember to take advantage of me, in all possible meanings of that phrase. He can use me as a fucktoy, three holes and a heartbeat. He can use me as a shoe remover. He can use me as a punching bag to get out frustrations. He can use me as a housekeeper, have me cook and clean and do laundry. He can use me as a friend and lover, someone to talk to and share with. He can use me as a practice bottom to hone his rope skills on. He can use me as decoration, truss me up and keep me at his feet while he works or games or watches shows.

He can use me for all of these things and more. I’m going to remind him of the ways I can be useful to him everyday, especially when he seems to have forgotten. I’ll not only thank him for it, I’ll beg him to do it again and again and again.

Daily Picture Assignment #76

I belong to Reaction Junkie. He’s my owner and I’m his property.

My purpose is to please and entertain him. My purpose whatever he says it is. It’s whatever he wants me to do in that moment. If he wants to use my holes (or gives me to other to use) and treat me like a fucktoy, then my purpose is to be a fucktoy. If he wants me to focus at work and do a good job, then my purpose is to be a productive professional. If he wants me to bring him water and do his laundry and cook him dinner and clean the apartment, then my purpose is to do service.

I am whatever he wants, no matter if he’s directly using me or if it’s something that turns me on. The very fact that Reaction Junkie wants me to behave in a certain way or do certain things should be motivation enough, a turn on in and of itself, regardless of the particular behavior or activity at hand.

littlefeministbitch:

Lest you think all of what I did over the Fourth of July weekend involved piss. Some of it involved impact and pain and pretty marks!

Also, I know I haven’t been good about making time to write about the weekend or share more pictures. I promise that I’ll do that as soon as I stop getting distracted by my cunt or people wanting to use me.

Just kidding! I’d never do it if I waited for that to happen. I’ll make time over the weekend and early next week.

Throwback Thursday!

Fantastic marks from spending the Fourth of July weekend with MLAM last year.

Daily Picture Assignment #74

This bruised cutie and her booty belong to Reaction Junkie.

Daily Picture Assignment #8

[2.15.2015]

A face mark Reaction Junkie gave me earlier this year. It’s from him biting and sucking on my face, not from being hit, but that’s not important.

What’s important is that he left a bruise on my face. A perfect reminder of his ownership. He has the right to leave his mark anywhere he wants on me.

Anyone and everyone could see it, could see that he can use me, abuse me, and bruise me as he sees fit, and no part of me is exempt from that.

I saw it each time I looked in the mirror, and each time I saw it, I grinned. I love being marked up like that by him. It makes me happy when he lets it be known that he owns me in a way that everyone can see. And of course, the conspicuousness of the bruise meant that I got a frequent reminder of exactly what my place is.

Daily Picture Assignment #6

[1.19.2015]

A picture from this winter. I spent the evening wearing these shackles and cooking for Reaction Junkie. Out of all of the things he tells me to do, service-type tasks are the ones I push back on and whine about most. There are two main reasons for this.

For one, unlike the impact we do, or the more specific d/s-focused play we sometimes do, these things aren’t, except for cooking, very fun. The instructions and the tasks usually aren’t sexy or kinky in and of themselves. They’re straightforward orders to do things that just need to be done. Quotidian domestic tasks.

The other reason, which is just as, if not more, important, is the fact that, in contrast to the planned scenes we do at happy hours or parties, and the spontaneous “because we’re both in the mood” fun we have, these orders are often given at inopportune times. I might be grumpy from work, or tired, or having a rough time with depression or jealousy. I might even be mad at Reaction Junkie himself.

So, I resist and complain about these kinds of instructions because they aren’t fun or entertaining, and because I’m not always in the mood when they’re given.

Neither of those things should matter. I shouldn’t be doing what he tells me because it’s fun or sexy. I should be doing what he tells me simply because he’s telling me to do it. The instruction or the task needn’t be enjoyable or pleasurable. I should get pleasure knowing that I’m doing what my owner wants me to do. 

As for not being in the mood, that should be irrelevant. I belong to Reaction Junkie. When he gives me an instruction, how I feel is immaterial. Even (especially) if the reason I’m not in the mood is that I’m upset with Reaction Junkie, I need to push past that and remember that he owns me. Possessions don’t get to decide if they “feel” like serving their purpose. I owe him my obedience no matter what.

Submissive and barefoot in the kitchen may not be every woman’s place, but it’s certainly mine.

[5.3.2015]

Recoveringpost-punishment.

Daily Picture Assignment #156

[3.17.2016]

This week’s topic: What makes me awesome

Making me write positive things about myself may not seem fitting for these Daily Picture Assignments, which are supposed to be a way to help me remember my place and focus on my dynamic with my owner. But oof, it definitely is. I have a mean as fuck jerkbrain and low self-esteem, so I find it incredibly hard to talk positively about myself, especially to myself.

By making me write good things about myself, Reaction Junkie is giving me a very challenging assignment. So, this week I’m going to tell y'all what makes me awesome, and I’m not going to let any qualifying language slip in, like saying that I don’t think a certain thing is true. No, I’m going to be uncompromising in speaking positively about myself.

One of the things that makes me awesome is that I can handle a whole lot of pain, much, much more than the vast majority of people. I take as much as I can, and then push myself to take just a bit more. I’m incredibly impressive in my ability to take a beating or be put in sadistic rope or manage all sorts of pain and suffering..

I know this is true because many people, tops, bottoms, and switches, have all told me so. I often get complimented on this attribute, and I know more than one person who has marveled at my abilities said they wished they were as heavy a bottom as I am.

Even beyond what other people say, I have objective proof of what I can take in the form of bruises and marks, such as the ones above. I got the ones on the right from my owner smacking me with his hand for about fifteen straight minutes, and the ones of the left from him hitting me with my bike tire jack for another fifteen minutes. The result was these two giant bruises, one on each of my thighs. It hurt to walk, sit, or move for the next several days.

I take a shit ton of pain. I impress people with how much I can take (and even make some people envious of me for it), and I get to wear the results of my awesomeness for all to see.

[3.10.2016]

Big-ass thigh bruise my owner gave me at happy hour last week.

He slapped the same spot over and over and over again for a good ten minutes or so. At first it didn’t hurt that much, but the repeated strikes eventually melded together into a low, stingy, burning pain. I endured it well until a couple minutes before he stopped.

That’s when I looked down and saw that this pattern of broken capillaries was already blossoming over my thigh. Once I noticed it, each smack started to hurt more and more, even though my owner wasn’t hitting me any harder. The psychological impact had outmatched the physical.

I was a very good girl and took as much as my owner could give out, and he far exceeded both my, and, I think, his, expectations for how long he could hit me bare handed. This beautiful mark was our reward.

Daily Picture Assignment #153

Bruised bum.

Another excellent context during which I should show my submission is at kink events. Likely not for the entire time, since at those events I’m also there for myself, to socialize with friends, and for others who want to see me and spend time with me. But at times I’m not with anyone in particular, like when I’m just having a conversation with a group, I should take the opportunity afforded to me by the kink-friendly space to publicly display my submission

One important way I can demonstrate my submission at these events is through my attitude and the way I position myself. When he tells me to do something, I should be obedient and do as he says, of course, but I should also obey with a smile and a “Yes, sir.” Depending on the environment, when he is sitting, I should be on my knees on the floor/ground next to him, a visual reminder to me, him, and everyone else that I have submitted to him. And when given a command, such as “Get me water,” I should eagerly jump up and obey.

As part of submitting at events, if (j/k, when) I start to feel jealous, in addition to all the basic things like countering negative self-talk, reassuring myself, trying to be happy that someone I care about is happy, and finding distractions, I should remind myself of my place and my purpose. Yes, part of that is that he is my owner, so he has the right to do as he will and I, as his possession, shouldn’t complain, but there’s much more to it.

I should remember that my purpose is his pleasure and entertainment and that his happiness is the most important thing. Not that mine isn’t. Quite to the contrary, in fact. I have submitted to him and, as part of that, I have subsumed my wants, needs, and desires into his. When he has a positive experience, that should be a positive experience for me, as well, since it means my owner is enjoying himself. His happiness is my happiness. In addition, I can, and should, take comfort in the fact that, although he may enjoy playing with, fucking, and spending time with other people, I am his favorite toy. Our dynamic is unique and special to both of us. He is the only one who owns me and I am the only one he owns.

In addition to showing my submission at kink events through my attitude, I can do the same with my behavior. By being obedient when told to do something, of course, but going beyond that. I should anticipate his needs. When we get to happy hour, I should order him his drink without having to be told. At any event, really, I should bring him water and offer to carry his bag. As I already, said, when he is sitting, I should be on my knees. I should also make sure to go off and spend time apart from him, interacting with people on my own. I know this pleases him, both because it pushes me to do something I want to do but find difficult, and because he isn’t only there for me.

Finally, when we’re at kink events, I should be at my best when we play. I should offer to be useful as a practice bottom for him and serve as a demo bottom when he wants one. When we do scenes involving pain, I should take as much as he wants to give out. I should not try to block his strikes or twist away from his hands. When he’s hurting me, I need to remember that I want to make him proud. I want to do my best in front of everyone and prove how much pain and suffering I can handle. I want to show off what a good girl I can be for my owner.

d/s, submission, kink, BDSM, bruises, Daily Picture Assignment, I’m for his pleasure and entertainment, me, ass, butt, marks, obedience, playing, being useful, kneeling, things I’m going to start doing

prettybabywhore:

littlefeministbitch:

Look what Lioness left on me on Monday.

It was a good party.

Eep they’re so pretty!

Hee. Thank you! She’s scary but fun. I showed her this picture and she said they were pretty. :D

twistedtamed:

So other than that, how was the date?