#writing assignments

Daily Picture Assignment #161

Outfit I wore on Saturday. I’m pretty pleased with it.

This week’s topic: Predicting and completing chores

Neither Reaction Junkie nor I are what you would call “neat” or “organized.” It’s an ongoing uphill battle to combat the mess in our apartment. I need to do a better job figuring out what chores need doing and when, and I need to actually execute those plans. Now, we’re both adults, so he can take care of his belongings and clean up after himself, so I’m not taking responsibility for that, but I do need to take responsibility for my stuff and my messes, and do more general cleaning. It will make me feel better about myself and make my life better, and, more importantly, please my owner and make his life easier and him happier.

One of the most important things I can do to help keep the apartment looking neat is to practice avoidance. If I don’t make a mess in the first place, I don’t have to clean it up. Instead of putting things down wherever there’s a flat surface, I should put them where they belong.

I also need to do a better job of realizing what needs doing. If I can predict that I’ll need to accomplish a task, I will be more able to make time to do it, rather than trying to fit it in around everything else. This means I’ll have to pay attention to the state of the apartment, especially the dishes and the laundry.

Obviously I won’t be able to prevent all messiness. When there is something that needs to be put away or cleaned, one way I can deal with that better is to do a little bit at a time. Rather than try to set aside a whole chunk of time, whenever I pass by whatever the thing is (laundry, dishes, litter box), I should take a minute or less and take care of a little bit of it.

I can start enlisting Reaction Junkie’s aid. When I know there’s something I need to do, I should ask him to remind me to do it. And although he is my owner, I should remind him of things he needs to do. When I want his help, I need to start asking him to do things, like putting away dishes or cleaning up his side of the bathroom.

I should also ask my owner to make me do things and hold me to what I’m writing. And, most importantly, not whine or get mad when he does so. For example, I’m saying I want to put away some clothes each time I go into the bedroom, so I’m going to ask him to ask me if I’ve done so when he sees me in the room, and remind me or order me to do it. And if I go in and don’t put any clothes away, I’ll have to tell him and accept a punishment.

By changing my attitude towards keeping the apartment neat, paying more attention to what needs to be done, cleaning and putting things away in little ongoing bursts

Daily Picture Assignment #159

Hickey that Reaction Junkie gave me this weekend because he’s my owner and can do anything he wants to me. Even if that thing is making me look like I’m dating a 14 year old boy :P

I’m also awesome because I’m super freaking adorable.

First of all, I’m adorable because of how I look. I’m short and fairly small, so a lot of people can push me around and even pick me up. I also have a cute face with a cute nose and I make cute little faces.

I’m also adorable because of the way I dress. I don’t put all of my outfits together with that goal in mind, but when I do, it works very, very well. I put together my delightful outfits where I match based on a theme, like rainbow unicorns, I wear my thigh high socks that hit just the right combo of cute and sexy, and, of course, I have my chucks, which make almost any outfit into an adorable one.

Finally, I’m adorable because of how I act. I tend to be shy and soft-spoken, which often translates as cute. I’m also an excellent cuddler and snuggler, and I love curling up basically in someone’s lap. Plus, there are the times when I’m being a puppy or a non-specified critter, which is just super fucking cute, especially when I put a tail in.

Yup, this is one adorable little feminist bitch.

Daily Picture Assignment #158

I hardly ever wear bras when I’m at home or when I go out, and now I’ve stopped wearing bras to work, too. Pretty sure most of the people at work have seen my nipples like this :3

One of my many positive traits is that I’m hella smart.

I’ve always done well at school and on tests (I went to a school known for being challenging and full of intelligent people for undergrad, and for grad school, I went to another institution with the same sort of reputation, and I got good grades at both), so I know I have the kind of intelligence that makes that possible. I’m also good at problem-solving, both for school/work and in life more generally, and when I really get into something, I often get super focused on figuring it out and stick with it until I solve it.

I also know I’m smart because of other people. I look at who I spend time with, and they’re all quick, intelligent people, and those very same people tell me that I’m also intelligent. If those sorts of people think that I’m smart, that’s pretty good evidence. On the other side of the equation, when I talk to people outside of my normal social circles (on OkCupid, for example), it really reminds me that I’m well above average in terms of being intelligent, thoughtful, and capable of meta-cognition.

This is one thing that makes me awesome that I really, truly believe. I know that I’m intelligent, and I have all sorts of reasons to think that is the case. This is one clever girl.

Daily Picture Assignment #156

[3.17.2016]

This week’s topic: What makes me awesome

Making me write positive things about myself may not seem fitting for these Daily Picture Assignments, which are supposed to be a way to help me remember my place and focus on my dynamic with my owner. But oof, it definitely is. I have a mean as fuck jerkbrain and low self-esteem, so I find it incredibly hard to talk positively about myself, especially to myself.

By making me write good things about myself, Reaction Junkie is giving me a very challenging assignment. So, this week I’m going to tell y'all what makes me awesome, and I’m not going to let any qualifying language slip in, like saying that I don’t think a certain thing is true. No, I’m going to be uncompromising in speaking positively about myself.

One of the things that makes me awesome is that I can handle a whole lot of pain, much, much more than the vast majority of people. I take as much as I can, and then push myself to take just a bit more. I’m incredibly impressive in my ability to take a beating or be put in sadistic rope or manage all sorts of pain and suffering..

I know this is true because many people, tops, bottoms, and switches, have all told me so. I often get complimented on this attribute, and I know more than one person who has marveled at my abilities said they wished they were as heavy a bottom as I am.

Even beyond what other people say, I have objective proof of what I can take in the form of bruises and marks, such as the ones above. I got the ones on the right from my owner smacking me with his hand for about fifteen straight minutes, and the ones of the left from him hitting me with my bike tire jack for another fifteen minutes. The result was these two giant bruises, one on each of my thighs. It hurt to walk, sit, or move for the next several days.

I take a shit ton of pain. I impress people with how much I can take (and even make some people envious of me for it), and I get to wear the results of my awesomeness for all to see.

Daily Picture Assignment #155

Happy hour outfit from last week. And yes, this dress has motherfucking pockets!

The final, and trickiest, context in which I need to show my submission is while out in public. Non-kinky public, that is.

Of course, one of the main ways I submit in public is by wearing the collar my owner put on me. I wear it all the time, to work, to see my parents, to go to the doctor. Its presence is a constant reminder that I am owned. It may just look like a (kind of strange) necklace to most people, but it’s also a signal to anyone in the know that I belong to someone. In addition, I submit in public when I wear outfits that my owner has picked out or inspired. The instructions may happen in private, but when we’re out and about, he can simply look at me to see an example of his power and control over me.

Another way I can submit while in public is by doing things for my owner. When he asks me to do something, I should recognize that he’s phrasing it as a question and adding the polite trappings of “please” simply because we’re in public. In reality, he’s giving me an order, so I should quickly and happily do as he asks. I should also be proactive in my submission, doing things for him without him needing to ask. I can certainly do this in public, since it will just look like I’m being a loving and attentive partner. Which is true, but I’m also being a good girl.

While in public, I can still follow through with one of the central aspects of my submission to my owner, asking permission to pee. It isn’t quite the same as when we’re among like-minded people or at home, since he can’t press on my bladder or taunt and tease me as openly. I’m still required to get permission before I piss, though, either quietly so no one can hear, or by phrasing it in a socially acceptable way, such as “Is it okay if go to the bathroom real quick?” And, of course, my owner can still deny me that permission, forcing me to try to hide my growing desperation.

Finally, someone on tumblr (Thank you, stryger1, who I can’t seem to actually @) sent me an ask with a suggestion that I thought was a really good idea. I ran it by my owner, and he liked it, as well. So, from now on, when we’re together, I have to wait for permission from my owner before I can start eating a meal. When we’re in private or with kinky folks, I won’t start eating until he tells me I may, or, at least until this becomes more of a habit, I will ask him out loud for permission. In public, or with non-kink friendly people, I will look at my owner and wait until he gives me a nod to indicate that I may start eating.

I may not be able to be as overt with my submission in public, but if I keep my place and purpose in mind, and follow through with the ideas above, I can still show my owner that I am always his, am always submissive to him, no matter where I am or what I’m doing.

Daily Picture Assignment #151

Reaction Junkie’s happily owned submissive little cunt.

This week’s topic: Submission no matter where I am.

To illustrate this theme, I wrote today’s post while kneeling/sitting on the floor next to my owner at his workplace, since he had to go in on Sunday night.

I have submitted to my owner. This is a submission that exists any time, any place. No matter where, no matter when. My submission doesn’t end when I leave the house or while I’m at work. I need to find ways to show my submission wherever I am and whatever I’m doing.

The collar I wear 24/7 is a symbol of the ongoing and non-context dependent nature of my submission, my chosen place in relation to my owner, and his total ownership of me. This week I’m having a medical procedure, and my owner will have to remove my collar for it. During that time, that symbol won’t be present, but my submission still will be. I will keep in mind that even without the collar, he still owns me and I am still submissive to him. Just as he always does and just as I always am.

Then, when I get home, I will kneel before him as he places it around my neck. And with that, I will again have a constant reminder of his ownership and my submission, which I will proudly wear it for all to see.

Daily Picture Assignment #149

Butt butt.

The fifth reason it’s important to follow orders is that it reminds my owner of his place, as well, and it helps him keep it in mind. Dominance doesn’t come as naturally to him as it might to others, and sometimes he forgets that I have submitted to him and am here for his pleasure.

When I obey happily and eagerly, it is a reminder of that fact. When my owner is frequently reminded what both our places are, it will help him bring that dynamic to the forefront more often, and he will be able to think of more ways in which I can serve him or be useful to him.

Daily Picture Assignment #148

Outfit inspired by the instruction “Boots and Cats.”

The fourth reason it’s important to follow orders is that it helps me to be better in the future. Following an order now lays the groundwork for me to follow the next order just a bit more instinctively. It teaches me to push past any reticence or annoyance and do as I’m told.

Obedience, especially obedience in times of stress or distraction, isn’t something that comes naturally to me. I need to practice it. Following simple and easy instructions, like “get me a glass of water,” helps me to exercise those mental muscles that will serve me will in the future when I get more difficult instructions or when I’m in a mental place that isn’t conducive to obedience.

Daily Picture Assignment #145

Outfit resulting from the instruction “Cats and socks,” which is the kind of clothing instruction my owner has taken to giving me. I love it.

My owner and I have started doing something new. As I’ve said, I’ve been having trouble getting into headspaces lately. Additionally, and more importantly, because of a few things, I’m having trouble trusting him and finding it hard to tell the difference between him being dommy and him being a mean jerk to me. So, for now, we aren’t doing our 24/7-esque dynamic. He is still my owner, and I will still be kneeling when we get home, but in the normal course of things he won’t be ordering me around or punishing me or acting dominant.

Instead, we’re going to work on rebuilding trust and practicing getting me in the right headspace. Each Sunday, starting yesterday, my owner will give me a topic to focus on such as “submission” or “being a puppy,” I will then spend at least ten minutes writing about that topic and focusing on really feeling the words and getting into that headspace. Then the rest of the evening will be spent in that mindset. The writing I do will form the basis for my DPAs for the week. Additionally, during the week when we have time we are going to spend together, before we get together, I will spend some time meditating on what I’ve written, reading it to myself almost as a mantra, and possibly writing more.

This week’s topic: The importance of following orders.

I need to do better with orders from my owner, both in terms of obeying them, and in terms of my attitude towards them.

The first reason, and the most basic reason, that it’s important to follow orders is the simple fact that he is my owner, my master, my sir. I have submitted to him, which means I’ve given him power and control over me. I’ve given myself over to him and promised him my obedience. When I don’t follow orders, I’m not living up to that promise. I am his possession, his slave, and an object for him to use. As such, I don’t have the right to refuse when given a command. I need to serve my purpose which is to obey and to please my owner.